Picking up the pieces.
I own none of this, all rights go to the right people in charge.
a massive thank you to my Beta/Co writer kmay07. I couldn't have done this without you.
Also a massive thank you to all the many people who favourited, followed and reviewed each chapter of this story. each one put a smile on my face and lit a fire under me to get the next chapters out to you quicker.
Chapter 5: The Scan.
The next two weeks flew by and before she knew it the time had come for Rory's doctor's appointment. As she turned up at the doctor's office she felt herself begin to get nervous about the scan. Her mother wanted to come with her but Rory said no. If Logan ended up showing and only one of them was allowed in the room with her, she didn't want any arguments or hurt feelings and she knew her mom well enough to know that even if she tried to hide it at the end of the day she would be hurt when she wasn't the one chosen to join her daughter so Rory felt it was best to avoid the possibility altogether.
She truly didn't know if Logan was going to turn up or not, there had been no communication between the pair since the lunch meeting they shared. She had picked up her phone a number of times and had his number pulled up ready to hit send but thankfully always managed to come to her senses. She was not going to fall back into her old pattern of calling him every time her life was upside down expecting him to run to her rescue. It wasn't fair to any of them and she was serious when she said she wasn't going to allow her child to grow up as she did so she had to be strong no matter what and let him make this decision on his own. As she parked she studied the other cars lining the street but saw no sign of a car that could be Logan's. She sighed as she checked her watch, there was still time for him to show up, and he did have a knack for showing up at the last minute just when she didn't think he would.
She headed inside to the reception and checked in. The nurse behind the desk smiled.
"Good morning, welcome to the office let me get you checked in what's your name dear?" she asked. "Rory Gilmore. Actually it's probably under Lorelai Gilmore, I'm sorry I don't use my full name often, I prefer to go by Rory. My mom's name is also Lorelai so it would be too confusing for both of us to go by that." Rory rambled cursing herself for showing her nerves and not being able to control her habit to ramble when she was uncomfortable. The nurse smiled and lightly chuckled as she as she quickly pulled Rory's information up on the computer and nodded. "Ok dear, since this is your first visit with us, we need you to fill out a few forms. You can have a seat and get started on that while you wait for the nurse to call you. If you finish before you are called back you can just bring them back to me." She instructed as she passed Rory a clipboard with a couple of forms attached. Rory nodded as she took a seat and started filling them out with as much detail as possible.
Time was ticking by, the seconds quickly turning to minutes and with every tick of the clock Rory felt more and more deflated. After 15 long and tedious minutes ticked by, she gave up hoping that Logan would come and tried to keep focused on the paperwork she was supposed to be working on. A small part of her wished that her mom had come along after all; just in case he didn't show then she wouldn't have been alone. Finally Rory's name was called and she stood and followed the nurse apprehensively through the doors leading her out of the waiting room and towards the exam rooms. Before the door closed she quickly stole one last look into the waiting room hoping maybe Logan would walk in before the door closed but as she heard the click of the door sealing behind her she knew his decision had been made. He had chosen to not be a part of his child's life.
The bubbly nurse led her to the exam room, had her take a seat and told her the doctor would be right in. Thankfully before she was able to get too lost in her thoughts about Logan there was a tap on the door and the doctor walked in. "Hello Miss Gilmore. I'm Doctor Smith. I'm going to be your doctor for your entire pregnancy." She flashes Rory a friendly smile. Rory returns the smile but clearly more tense than the doctor.
"Hi, I'm Rory, well Lorelai officially but I prefer Rory."
"Excellent. It's wonderful to meet you Rory, let me note in your file that you prefer to go by Rory so that there is no confusion and everyone calls you the proper name when you are here." Says Dr. Smith as she types a few quick notes on her laptop. "Ok, I see you have still have your paperwork, have you had enough time to fill everything out?" she asks.
"I filled out everything I was able to." Rory replied as she extends the clipboard toward Dr. Smith who takes the paper work from, and in turn passes her a small medicine cup.
"Great. Now, I am going to need a urine sample from you, the bathroom is next door I will begin inputting your information from your paperwork while you pop over there if you don't mind getting that out of the way." Rory takes the cup and excuses herself to go to the restroom as directed. Minutes later she returned, grateful that her mom had warned her about peeing on demand so she was prepared and able to give a sample.
The doctor smiled as Rory enters the room again. "You can just sit the cup back there on that counter please and have a seat on the table." Dr Smith says as she finished typing the information she was currently looking at. "Ok, I'm going to pop this strip into the sample it's going to assess the level of protein in it and that helps us detect possible problems within your pregnancy." Rory nods at the explanation.
"While we wait for that to finish, let's have a look at your weight and do a few routine tests. Could step onto the scales for me?" Rory nodded and took her shoes of before doing as asked; the doctor took the reading and nodded to herself before noting it on the laptop. Rory sat back down on the exam table and the doctor took her blood pressure and temperature and noted in her file on the computer as well.
"Now Rory for the rest of your appointments the nurse will be the one that takes care of all these initial tests. I like to do everything at the first appointment however just to help explain everything and so I can get to know each patient a little better and make sure they are comfortable. Do you have any questions so far?" Asks Dr. Smith. "No, I can't think of any questions right now, you have done a wonderful job of explaining everything." Rory replied. The next 15-20 minutes saw Rory and the doctor discussing when Rory's last period was and taking a family history, both medical and pregnancy wise. Rory had just finished telling the doctor that to her knowledge both her moms and grandma's pregnancies were fine and without complications. The doctor's next question stumped her slightly.
"And what about on the father's side? Are there any issues we should note?" Dr Smith inquired. "I'm actually not sure." Rory answered honestly but nervously. She hoped it wouldn't be a problem. Logan made his choice and Rory damn well wasn't going to chase him. The doctor nodded whilst noting down that paternal details were currently unavailable. "That's ok. We can sort that out at your next appointment if he is going to join us." The doctor suggested. Rory shook her head. "Um, well without boring you with all of the details I gave him the option of being here but it seems as though he has chosen not to be involved. Therefore it is highly unlikely that he will be attending any of appointments or that any information will be easily gained." Rory reveals. The doctor nodded.
"Ok, well those details could potentially be helpful if there are any medical conditions that could be genetic, so if there is an opportunity to obtain the information it may be beneficial but it is not going to hurt anything or be detrimental to the baby if you don't have the information so, please don't worry yourself." She said reassuringly, noting the concern and what appeared to be embarrassment on her patients face she continued "Rory let me assure you that you are not the first person to come to my office in this situation and you will certainly not be the last. There is nothing to be ashamed of or concerned about." Rory nodded and decided to take the doctor's advice for the time being and debate whether she would reach out to Logan at a later time.
"Now I see this is your first pregnancy, since you haven't been through this before I have a few lifestyle tips and suggestions for you." Rory nodded and sat up straighter really paying attention to what she was being told and suddenly wishing she had brought some paper to take notes. As if Dr. Smith could read her mind she says "Don't worry; everything we go over will also be listed on the handout I give you in your information folder slash welcome packet you won't forget any of it. Now, do you drink caffeine?"
"I do. I absolutely love coffee it is really important to me but I know I need to stop." Rory replies pouting slightly. Chuckling the doctor says "Well we recommend cutting down slowly at the beginning so don't worry you don't have to go cold turkey. If you cut it out too quickly, it could be detrimental to your body, caffeine withdraw is a real thing, not just something people joke about. It can cause migraines and other issues. Migraines are more difficult to treat in pregnant women given the limited amount of medication allowed so you want to avoid that. I always suggest patients slowly start by switching to half caff and eventually moving to deaf coffee.
You do not have to completely stop drinking regular coffee either but the goal would be no more than 8oz of regular coffee or soda a day. Also no espresso or anything along those lines and avoid any energy drinks as well." The doctor finishes, Rory nodded chuckling slightly knowing that Luke would appreciate that change. The doctor continued to list the things Rory needed to steer clear off, such as alcohol which was obvious even to a first time mom like Rory as well as deli meats and sushi which took her by surprise.
She then handed Rory a folder filled with leaflets and printouts and a book called 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. Rory smiled feeling grateful that the office took the time to put together such a detailed packet this would certainly help with the numerous pro/con lists she was sure to make throughout this pregnancy. "This outlines everything we've just discussed. Also it has top tips and advice as well as some important contact numbers etc." Rory thanked the doctor and slipped everything into her bag.
"Alright, ready for the best bit?" Dr. Smith asked. Rory nodded slightly apprehensively. "Ok, lie back on the table and let's take a look at what's going on in there."
Rory lies down as instructed feeling very tense, she was really wishing she would have let her mom come along at this point. The doctor lifts Rory's shirt. "Now, this may be a bit cold" she says squirting the gel on her stomach and begins running the wand slowly over Rory's stomach as she clicks a few buttons on the keyboard and turns couple of dials on the portable ultrasound machine that was positioned next to the exam table. Rory is watching her every move getting more and more anxious the longer she lays there in the silence. She noticed the doctor had a very perplexed look on her face which did not help to settle her nerves. "Is everything looking ok Dr. Smith?"
"Well, that depends on your definition of ok. Rory; do twins run in your family?" she asks cautiously.
"Not to my knowledge." Rory responds her heartbeat speeding up even faster. It was a wonder it wasn't jumping straight out of her chest at this point.
"Well, then I am pleased to tell you that as of today they do. You appear to have two healthy little babies here Rory, not just one." Explained the doctor as she turned the screen towards Rory where she could clearly see not one but two little dots staring back at her. Before Rory could say anything the doctor continues. "I'm going to turn the sound on now and we will see if we can detect the two different heartbeats."
Rory's mind went into overdrive. Twins! How was she going to cope with twins? She was already an unprepared first time mother struggling to cope with the idea of one baby. The thought of having two at once filled her with dread and anxiety. She felt her breath quicken and her chest start to constrict slightly, she thought she was going to have a panic attack right there on the exam table. Then suddenly, the most surreal sound filled the room; a warmth instantly consuming her whole mind and body and she knew immediately that there would never be a sound as amazing as the one she was hearing in that moment.
"This is baby A's heartbeat." Rory felt tears line her eyes. She truly couldn't believe it. Her baby, she was hearing her baby, well one of her babies at least. "It's very strong and a good solid beat. " the doctor moved the wand from its spot on Rory's stomach silencing the wonderful sound of her baby causing a slight pout to adorn her face, something the doctor took note of and caused her to chuckle to herself. She was slightly worried how the news of twins would be received by the young single mom but she knew in that moment that she had nothing to be concerned about. After a minute or two Rory heard that beautiful sound again, only at a slightly fainter volume this time, and once again was instantly consumed by the warmth and calmness she had felt moments before. "Here is baby B. It is also strong and healthy. It sounds slightly weaker only because baby B is towards the back of your uterus and hidden somewhat by its sibling and because of the angle the machine isn't picking the sound waves up as strongly. If you take a look here though you can see the little flashes; that is the heartbeat and it is perfect."
"And they are both ok?" Rory questioned still staring at the two little dots on the screen. "They don't look like babies. Is that what they are supposed to look like?"
The doctor nodded. "They look perfectly healthy; everything is measuring right up to the dates you gave me so it seems everything is on track. Remember at this point all of their body parts and organs are still forming so they won't look like babies for some time still. Now, with that being said carrying twins does put you at a higher risk of developing complications during your pregnancy, and the risk of miscarriage though still low does increase with multiples, so we will increase the amount of appointments you have so we can be extra vigilant with your pregnancy. The good news with that is you will also get more ultrasounds so you will be able to see your babies at roughly every other appointment where mom's with singleton pregnancies only get two ultrasounds throughout the whole span of their pregnancy." Rory breathed a small sigh of relief and couldn't stop the huge smile that overtook her face upon hearing the news that she would get to see her babies so frequently.
The rest of her appointment went by in a blur and 15 minutes later Rory left the office with the last thing the doctor saying her next appointment would be in three weeks as long as she didn't have any issues arise that warranted being seen prior to that and then two weeks later she would come back for another scan. If the babies were positioned in the right way, she should be able to find out the gender of her twins during that appointment. Dr. Smith was able to tell her that the babies were not fraternal based on each of them growing in their own uterine sac not sharing one as identical twins do. That meant the babies could potentially be the same gender or she could be carrying on of each gender.
As she walked out of the office and into the sunlight she had to stop and compose herself as she was beginning to feel that sense of panic creeping up in her stomach again. She leaned against the side of the building right there in the middle of Hartford to steady herself not caring how it looked to passer-by's. She couldn't decide if she wanted to smile or cry. She woke up this morning holding on to hope that Logan would do the right thing and step in and be there for her baby of course she also woke up this morning thinking that she was just carrying a single baby. Now in just a few short hours she had to come to terms not only with the fact that Logan had obviously chosen not to take part in the situation he helped to create and her babies would not have their father in their lives but she was also having to wrap her head around the concept that she was having babies not a baby. It was a lot to take in in just a couple of hours' time.
Once she felt the panic start to recede and she began to get her bearings back she stood, ignoring the world around her completely while she tried to process what was actually going on in her head. Her babies were healthy and she was so thankful but she was having twins and that terrified her. She almost felt like her entire world was imploding while she stood on the side walk. She knew she couldn't just stand there on the street all day so she started to make her way to her car still in a complete mental daze, accidently bumping into a tall slender man who was walking in the opposite direction that Rory was texting as he walked and also not paying much attention to the world around him. She mumbled an apology to the stranger as she kept her eyes on the black and white picture of her babies that was still in her hand not bothering to even look up just staying focused on her babies and getting to her car in one piece without having a mental breakdown. Had she been paying just a bit more attention to her surroundings she would have realized sooner that the stranger she bumped into wasn't a stranger after all and wouldn't have been caught so off guard when he called out to her.
"Excuse me love, do I know you?" came a familiar Australian voice causing Rory to stop dead in her tracks. She quickly whipped around to face the owner of the voice not yet allowing herself to believe that it could possibly belong to her long-time friend. "Finn!" she almost squealed once she realized it really was him practically jumping into his open arms but not before discreetly sliding the little photo she was holding into the front pocket of the bag hanging on her shoulder.
"Oh Rory love I have missed you these past few months. The boys and I were shattered when you told us good bye." Finn says pulling Rory into a hug. They embrace fondly for a minute, when Finn pulled away he notices Rory has dry tear track on her cheeks and her smile isn't reaching her eyes like it usually does. "Are you ok love? You look a little down." Finn says the concern evident in his voice. Rory shakes her head; rapidly blinking her eyes at the same time trying to keep the tears that are once again threating to spill over at bay but it is no use and soon she feels more tears start cascade down her cheeks, these pregnancy hormones are no joke she thinks to herself. Finn frowns as he watches his friend breakdown, and realizes he needs to find a way to lighten the mood it is what he is known for among their group after all and he can't let her down now.
"Say, has god spoken to you lately love?" He asks chuckling. Hoping she remembers their conversation from so long ago.
"As a matter of fact he has." She replies instantly. "And rather rudely I might add." Rory replies giggling at the memory from their younger years. As he studies her closer, Finn pulls his suit jacket off and wraps it around Rory's shaking frame. Something was off and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He quickly sent his assistant a note asking her to clear his schedule for the rest of the day. He was due for an afternoon off and what better way to spend it than catching up with a good friend.
"Come on love, let's get you somewhere warm, you appear to have forgotten what winter in Connecticut entails when you dressed this morning" he teased. "I know just the place. They have delicious soup and amazing desert and it's right across the street as luck would have it. Let's head that way and you can tell Finny what's got you so down." Finn says gently putting his arm around Rory's shoulders directing her to a little café across the road from where her clinic was. Rory still in a state of confusion mixed with anxiety didn't argue, not that Finn left the conversation open for argument, and just let herself be led to the restaurant by her friend. She has known Finn long enough to know that arguing with him would have been useless anyway; she knew that look of determination that had taken over his rugged features.
Once they entered the quaint little café Finn, who was clearly a regular at the establishment as he greeted many of the staff by name led her to a cozy booth in the back corner of the café and ordered them both a coffee when the waitress brought their menus. Rory was impressed that he still remembered exactly how she took her coffee after all this time. As she was thinking about how sweet it was that he remembered her order and how relaxing a nice steaming cup of coffee sounded she was reminded of the doctor's warning about caffeine and the panic began to rise in her again. She was barely three months pregnant and already failing as a mother. She couldn't even manage to remember that she needed to limit her coffee intake until after she already ordered it how was she supposed to take care of two babies. She felt her breathing begin to go shallow and the feeling of the elephant on her chest was returning.
Finn immediately took notice of the change in her demeanour, "Rory…..you need to breathe….deep calming breaths." He demonstrated as he said it. Rory found his voice very soothing and was able to focus on what he was saying and copied what he told her to do. "That's it darling, there you go." He said once she was able to settle her breathing. "Now, you are really beginning to worry me love. This is the second time in the past half an hour you have had a panic attack. I haven't seen you this worked up since the grand theft yacht incident back at school." Finn joked hoping to once again lighten the mood.
Rory began to speak but the waitress chose that time to return with the drinks setting their coffees in front of them and taking their lunch orders before leaving the pair to continue their conversation. Once the waitress was out of ear shot again Rory looked up at her friend tears once again threating to spill from her eyes, "Well, I guess it's bound to get out eventually. And honestly it will be nice to be able to talk someone else that knows the whole story. Ugh." She sighs pausing for a minute clearly contemplating how to continue the conversation "Wow, there is just no easy way to go about this. I'm pregnant Finn." Rory finally blurted out effectively stunning Finn to total silence. Once she got the hardest part out she found herself unable to stop the rant that had building up in her.
"I am pregnant with Logan's babies. Yup, you heard that right, babies. Plural. There are two. I am having twins. I am having Logan's twins. I just had my first scan and found out there were two of them. That is where I was coming from when I bumped into you. I am sorry about that by the way, I don't remember if I ever apologized. My mind was going in about five hundred other directions." She quickly reached down into her bag and grabbed the ultrasound picture and laid it on the table barely taking a breath and keeping the pace of her rant, Finn just sat there in shock and let her get it all out.
"I obviously left New Hampshire with more than I bargained for. Before you ask yes I've already told Logan, well I told him I was pregnant, I haven't told him about it being twins seeing as I have only known for a short time myself. I told him if wanted to be involved and wanted to step up and be a dad he had to come today to my appointment and if he didn't show I would assume that he was choosing to not to be in the babies life but he had to choose one way or the other because I would not have him popping in and out of my child's life like my own father did when I was growing up." She looked up at Finn and his heart broke into a thousand pieces just seeing the pain in her eyes.
"He didn't show Finn. He is walking away from his child, children, man that is going to take some getting used to. I thought for sure he would be there. I didn't expect to get back together with him. I am not in love with anymore, we established that in New Hampshire, but the Logan I thought I knew would have been there for his kid. I just want my babies to have more than I had. I'm so scared Finn! I thought I could cope when it was one baby but I've now that I've found out that I'm carrying twins. I just can't do it Finn! I can't raise two babies on my own. He is supposed here. He is supposed to want to help. This is not how my life is supposed to have ended up. I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know what to do." She finishes and immediately begins sobbing into her coffee. Finn takes one of Rory's hands into his and rubs his thumb across the back of her hand gently.
"Oh my God love! I've always wanted to be an uncle. I am going to the best uncle these babies could ever ask for." He says happily trying to defuse the tension hanging in the air. He looks over at Rory, who smiles through her tears and begins laughing.
"Yeah. You sure are Finny." she responds trying to calm herself down, knowing all the stress wasn't good for the two lives growing inside of her.
"So Logan doesn't want to be involved?" Finn asks ashamed of his best mate.
"It sure looks that way. We met up a couple of weeks ago and I gave him the choice. I told him I won't force him to be involved and I don't want or need anything from him, but I refuse to let him pop in and out of the babies' lives so if he didn't turn up today there would be no going back, that was it. He clearly made his choice seeing as he isn't here." Finn sighed. "Oh love. I'm so sorry. Logan is a wanker." He stated causing Rory to laugh once again.
"I don't know what I'm going, How I am going to do this on my own" Rory sighed looking down at her still flat stomach rubbing it lovingly. "Well I remember your mom love, the beautiful specimen she is, there is no way you will be on your own with her around. And let's not forget that Grandma of yours, Emily Gilmore is a force to be reckoned with and surely will not let anything happen to you or those babies. Also I'm back in Hartford, permanently thanks to a wonderful new job opportunity so if you need anything, you call me! No matter what, nothing is too much trouble when it comes to you my love. I mean it, anything. Need to rant? Call me. Need a hug? Call me. Just need some company? You call me. I'm your man."
Rory felt the tears in her eyes again, she was never much of a crier but this pregnancy was clearly going to be changing that. "Thank you Finn You are amazing has anyone ever told you that?" Finn chuckled and moved around the table to encase Rory in a hug. "You know I might have heard that a time or two before actually come to think of it that's not the first time you've told me that love. Of course it is usually in intimate setting that women tell me how amazing I am if you know what I mean." He said cheekily giving her a quick wink.
The waitress arrived right as Rory had finished laughing at her friends comment so the pair decided to press on pause the deep conversation for the time while they ate lunch and took the time to catch up on other areas of their lives. Rory told Finn all about her mom and Luke and their crazy Alice in wonderland-esque wedding. Finn told Rory about his new job that led to his move to Hartford and family changes that had taken place since they had last been able to have a real conversation. Both had a pleasant time in each other's company and as they parted they promised to meet again for lunch a few weeks later after Rory's next appointment.
Once the parted Finn knew that he didn't want Rory to feel so alone through her pregnancy and couldn't help but feel guilty about his best mate being such a coward, so he had come to the decision in the few short hours that he was with her that he would step up and be with her as much as he could be. He would take Logan's place in a way and the primary man that she relied on. She clearly needed all the support she could get even though he knew as he had said that she had her mom and grandma. She was still going to need a friend, and he knew that he would be especially helpful for her seeing as he was one of the few people who was privy to every detail of her and Logan's relationship literally from the day they met so many years ago at their alma mater clear through until the fateful day they said goodbye after their impromptu life and death brigade reunion. Besides he had always had a soft spot for their lovely reporter girl so he would make it his mission to make sure that she was always felt supported and taken care of from here on out.
Rory drove home in a serene state of calm despite the fact that her brain was still moving in a hundred different directions as it tried to process everything that had happened. It surprised her how a simple lunch with Finn had been able to sooth her so much. Of all of Logan's friends Finn had always been her favorite and she had truly meant it when she told him it was hardest to say good bye to him in New Hampshire. She knew given his wild past he seemed like unlikely person to rely on to those who didn't know him but those who did have the pleasure to him as well as she did knew was he was always dependable and always stood by his word. That is why when he said he would be there for her and had such conviction in his voice she felt so much comfort.
When she finally got home and found Luke and her mom sat embraced on the couch watching a film. Rory sat across from them in her favorite chair contemplating how to tell them about her little surprise. "How did it go sweets?" Lorelai questioned anxiously as Luke grabbed the remote off the coffee table to pause the movie.
"Well first Logan didn't show up so that's settled. He will not be involved." She held up her hand to stop her mom who tried to say something at hearing that news smiling as she hears Luke mumbling under his breath about that jerk not being good enough for his girl anyway.
"It is ok Luke. I actually ran into Finn after my appointment, like literally ran into him," she chuckled "and we had lunch. I told him everything, he was actually very helpful and I am ok with it now. Or I will be anyway. I am have come to terms with the fact that I can't change his decision and I am not going to beg him to change it so I am not going to wallow over it, I am just going to keep moving forward and make the best of the situation and what a situation it has turned into. But I did get some rather big news at my appointment and I don't know how you are going feel….Mom… Luke…." Rory hesitated. "Yes…..come on honey don't leave mommy hanging here. How is my little grandbaby doing in there?" Lorelai lightly demands becoming worried by the emotions she can see swimming in her daughters eyes.
"Actually as it turns out you are not going to have A grandbaby, you are going to have two grandbabies. I'm having twins." She beams watching their reactions closely. Lorelai's face lights up, tears instantly falling down her face and she burst out of Luke's arms and pulling her daughter to her feet and hugging her tightly. Luke let the two have a mother daughter moment, snapping a quick picture on his cell phone thankful that he finally let Lorelai talk him in to learning how to use the stupid thing before followed Lorelai's lead and envelopes both of his Gilmore girls. Twins. It was obviously quite a shock for all of them but all three of them knew it was going to make their world even better. After all there would now be two new Gilmore babies to love and there was nothing bad that could come from that.