Chapter 53: I'm Sorry
Today was amazing, her feet were tired, but the tips were great, really great actually and she was going to be able to get Derek the new fishing pole he had mentioned and now, she was in a great mood.
She was happy to be home, completely happy because she was going to be all giggly and excited, then she'd make sure Daws was distracted for a little bit so she could take her boyfriend upstairs and have sex. It was dirty, but sex with him was all she could think about all day. She was glad to be home. She unlocked the door to her quiet new condo that she shared with her amazing boyfriend. The boyfriend who had made her pick out a few rings and had said he would come back and pick one out. One day he was going to give her that ring and today, that wasn't scary. Today it was exciting, and she had an amazing day and now she was going to have some amazing sex while her daughter watched Hannah Montana or something. She ran into the living room, finding her boyfriend sitting on the couch, a beer in his hand as he rubbed his chin. "Hey Der..."
"Hey." Derek sighed, looking up at her, giving her a weak smile.
"I'm home." She smiled, tossing her stuff immediately on the armchair before moving to sit next to him, her lips immediately hitting his ear. "Hey...missed you..."
"Yeah...you too..."
"You...me...bed." Meredith replied, moving to straddle him.
"Dawsyn's upstairs." Derek whispered.
"That's okay..."
"Meredith..."
"Yeah?" She giggled, unbuttoning his top button, and pressing her lips against the start of his chest.
"Nothing...I just...Can we do this later?"
"We can...we can do this now...we can do this later...we can do it in between..."
"Meredith."
"Hmm?"
"Not right now."
"You...what?" Meredith frowned, lifting her head. He was telling her no. No to sex. He never told her no to sex and now, he was definitely telling her no. "Oh you don't...okay..."
"It's not you..." Derek sighed.
"That's what people say when...nevermind." Meredith cleared her throat, moving off of him. He didn't want sex, not with her at least.
"I'm just not in the mood." He replied, taking a drink out of his bottle of beer.
"Fine." Meredith swallowed, pushing a free strand of hair from her face before placing her hands in her lap. This was bad, he didn't want her and now…this was bad.
"Okay..."
"I just...I had a good day and I just wanted sex with my boyfriend who isn't in the mood...you don't want sex with me and that's just...it's fine...whatever."
"Your daughter hates me."
"What?" Meredith rolled her eyes. "Derek, if you don't want to have sex with me anymore fine...but don't blame Daws."
"I grounded her." Derek breathed. "Now she's upstairs...hating me and probably wanting me to move out."
"You...what?" Meredith frowned. "Why did you have to ground her? Was it the laundry? Because I told her to stop going in our room to find her laundry because it isn't in there..."
"The school called me this morning."
"Oh God." Meredith immediately groaned, tossing her head back. "That's never good."
"The teacher told her not to take out the rabbit...she did, and it got loose...Now she's suspended for the rest of the week. I grounded her and I'm the worst Daddy ever." Derek said.
"She...she took the bunny?" Meredith frowned, looking away from Derek. "How the hell does she come up with this stuff?"
"Apparently, it was her turn today."
"So...she got in trouble?"
"She's suspended." Derek repeated.
"Because she took out the bunny?"
"And let it loose. And it took two hours for them to find it again."
"Damn it." Meredith put a hand to her head. Her daughter was impossible. Incredibly clever, but impossible.
"I picked her up...and now she hates me."
"No, she doesn't."
"She told me that I was a bad Daddy."
"Oh." Meredith bit her lip.
"The first time she thinks of me as her dad...And I blew it." Derek whispered, running his hands through his hair.
"You..." Meredith stopped, looking at her distressed boyfriend, before putting a hand on his back. The truth was, her daughter wanted a Daddy, she wanted Derek. It wasn't going to end over this. "Derek...you didn't. She...Daws doesn't get the Daddy thing, but she loves you."
"Not anymore."
"Welcome to my world."
"Should I not have grounded her?"
"I've had several calls from her teachers over the years, she knows better."
"That's what I told her...And she kept saying it wasn't her fault."
"Derek...you realize she's my daughter, right?"
"Yes..."
"And your biggest gripe, is that I'm stubborn." Meredith swallowed, she could fix this. "Well, she's stubborn too."
"You didn't see her..." Derek whispered.
"Derek...I um...I know the last thing Daws wants is you mad at her. It's honestly the worst thing to her because to her...you're the only Dad she's going to have."
"I'm not mad...I was disappointed in her...but I wasn't mad and she thought I was and she just...She was so upset, Mer."
"You grounded her..."
"I know but I didn't think grounding her was going to make her...do that."
"Okay, me being the strong one is a big chapter in the Meredith Chronicles...so for the record, I want you to remember this."
"I'll remember this." He whispered, smiling a little.
"Grounding her...Derek she gets mad at me...furious with me because I'm her mom and this is...it's big. She's even more upset with you because she thinks you're the greatest..."
"I just...I hated seeing her like that."
"I know..." Meredith whispered, pressing a kiss against his cheek. "Welcome to parenthood...it sucks...and I think you'll love it."
"Thank you..."
"She's...I don't think she expected you to get mad."
"I didn't want to...I just...She couldn't just get away with that."
"I know."
"Maybe I should go to the trailer tonight."
'What?" Meredith frowned. He couldn't leave, if she was going to be strong and fix this, him leaving wasn't okay. "No...I'll talk to her but you're...she's just upset because even if she knows what she did was wrong, you're the one who got mad at her. You got mad and now she hates that."
"I know...but maybe I should give her some time or something..." Derek sighed
"You handled it...it had so to be handled."
"Okay..."
"I'm going to fix this..." Meredith whispered.
"Thank you." Derek whispered, kissing her lightly.
"You're welcome...and I don't know how yet but I'm going to fix it. I'll fix it." Meredith replied, pressing her head against his. "She loves you and the idea of you being upset with her is really big and scary to her...I'm going to fix it."
"Okay."
"She's upstairs?"
"Yeah...And Mer?"
"Yeah?"
"Sex later."
"I know." She winked, standing up and walking towards the stairs. She had to fix this. It was a lot bigger than her, but she could fix this because Dawsyn loved Derek and Derek loved Dawsyn as if she was his own. She knew Dawsyn didn't want Derek mad at her. Dawsyn was big enough to admit when she was in the wrong, she was always upset when she got grounded, but she could admit when she was wrong. Meredith knew this was much more. This was about Derek being Daddy and punishing her. "Daws?"
"Go away!"
"Daws..." Meredith knocked, opening the door to her little girl's room just a bit before she stepped in, closing the bedroom door behind her.
"Mommy?" Dawsyn sniffled.
"Hi Daws Bug."
"You're home."
"I'm home." Meredith whispered, watching her daughter face the wall as she cried against her pillows.
"Is Derek still here?"
"Of course."
"I don't want to go downstairs until he leaves!" Dawsyn cried into her pillow.
"Dawsyn..." Meredith sighed, sliding on to the little girl's bed.
"I didn't do anything wrong..." Dawsyn whimpered.
"Oh Daws...you take the prize as usual." Meredith rolled her eyes, a hand moving to her daughter's arm.
"It was my day to hold Rufus...And I wanted to show Derek because Ms. Price always takes pictures of us on our day..."
"I know..."
"I just wanted to hold him."
"I know...but she said no."
"But it was my day."
"I know and I'm sure you would have been able to hold Rufus when the teacher was ready, but you didn't listen." Meredith sighed. "Now you're in trouble."
"I got grounded." Dawsyn whispered, tears still falling down her cheeks.
"You did."
"It's not fair..."
"You didn't listen...you've had an issue listening this year."
"Derek got mad at me...He said I couldn't have my iPod either." Dawsyn sniffled.
"Well, you did something wrong, so he had to ground you."
"He's supposed to be my Daddy."
"I...you...I know." Meredith swallowed, her heart pausing as she said it herself. "I know...but as a Daddy he has to make sure you do the right things."
"I didn't mean for Rufus to get away." Dawsyn cried.
"I know you didn't."
"Do...do I still get to go to New York?"
"Yes Daws...we're not leaving you here alone."
"Derek is mad at me."
"No...no he isn't."
"He is...He yelled at me."
"Because you were in trouble..." Meredith bit her lip, watching her daughter whimper. "Daws...Derek loves you more than anything. He wants nothing more than for you to be happy."
"Does he still want to be my Daddy?" Dawsyn whispered.
"Yes...of course." Meredith whispered, rubbing her daughter's arm.
"I'm sorry...I just wanted to hold Rufus like Sadie did last week."
"I know...and Derek isn't mad, but he had to punish you because of what you did."
"Can I still have my iPod for New York?"
"That's up to Derek..."
"Please?"
"I will talk to Derek." Meredith whispered, "But Daws...I don't think you understand. Just like Mommy's...Daddy's get angry and upset too."
"But he's supposed to be nice to me." Dawsyn whispered.
"And you're supposed to listen."
"I'm sorry."
"I know...why don't you go tell Derek that?"
"Do I have to?"
"No...but I think you should." Meredith sighed. "He's really upset too because he loves you."
"Will you come with me?" Dawsyn asked, wiping her face as she looked up at her mom.
"Yeah..." Meredith breathed, sitting up on the bed.
"Okay..." Dawsyn said taking a deep breath, and getting off the bed.
"Come here." Meredith whispered, wrapping her arms around her daughter, before pressing a kiss against her forehead.
"I'm sorry Mommy."
"I know Daws."
"Okay..." Dawsyn sighed, slowly walking out of the room.
"Let's go." Meredith whispered, following her daughter down the hall.
"I'm scared."
"It's just Derek." Meredith replied, squeezing her daughter's hand as they made their way into the living room. Derek looked up immediately, his eyes dark.
"Hi." Derek whispered, smiling a little as they came into the room.
"Hi." Dawsyn whispered.
"I'm going to leave you too alone...you need it." Meredith whispered, smiling weakly as she hugged Dawsyn before she left the room.
"Why don't you sit down next to me?" Derek whispered.
"Okay." Dawsyn sniffled, wiping her cheeks on her sleeve.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Daws."
"Okay." Dawsyn whimpered.
"I want you to know that I'm not mad at you."
"I know...Mommy said."
"You were doing a really good job listening to me and Mommy...so I was disappointed."
"Okay..." Dawsyn cried.
"Come here." Derek whispered, wrapping his arms around the little girl.
"I'm sorry."
"I know...It's okay."
"Am I in trouble every day this week?"
"You're still grounded."
"Okay..." Dawsyn swallowed. "What am I going to do during the day?"
"You can get ready for our trip and help me and Mommy pack."
"Do I have to miss my class Christmas party?"
"The principal said your suspended for the rest of the week so I don't think you can go."
"Oh..." Dawsyn murmured, a small sob escaping her lips.
"I love you kiddo."
"I love you too." She cried.
"Am I still the worst Daddy?"
"No..."
"Good..." Derek smiled, kissing the top of her head.
"Everybody is going to the class party but me."
"Maybe your Mommy and I can call the school and see if you can go in just for the party."
"I don't think I can...Ms. Sanders said I couldn't come back until after break."
"Isn't going to New York much better than a school party?"
'I guess." Dawsyn shrugged.
"I promise it is." Derek smiled.
"Okay."
"What do you think about tacos for dinner?"
'That sounds good." Dawsyn hiccupped.
"Okay." Derek chuckled, kissing her head again.
"I'm hungry now." Dawsyn whimpered, as Derek pulled her onto his lap.
"Okay...How about you take your bath and I'll go out and get us some tacos?"
"Okay."
"Okay...I'll tell your Mommy."
"Okay." Dawsyn hugged him.
"Love you, Dawsyn." Derek whispered.
"Love you Daddy."
"Daddy..." Derek smiled, as Dawsyn jumped off his lap and run upstairs.
"Congratulations." Meredith whispered, leaning in the doorway.
"You did well."
"I um...Yeah I guess I did."
"Hmm..." Meredith whispered, before standing straight and turning around to leave the room.
"Come here."
"Yeah?" Meredith breathed, turning around to face him.
"Yeah." He smiled.
"Okay." She smiles, walking over to her boyfriend and standing in front of him.
"So..we're having tacos for dinner."
"Oh?"
"And...Dawsyn is taking a bath..."
"Okay."
"You know what that means..." Derek smiled, pulling her onto his lap.
"A nap?"
"No..."
"Oh."
"I was thinking more along the lines off...what you were thinking earlier."
"Ehh...later."
"Not funny."
"Daws got grounded for letting the bunny get lose for two hours...you're grounded for rejecting me in the first place. It's only fair."
"I rejected you because I upset that your...our daughter was upset."
"And now you're being punished."
"Then I'm going to get the tacos..."
"Okay."
"Leaving...going out of the house..." He said, standing up and picking up his keys.
"Okay." She giggled.
"Won't be back for a half hour."
"I'll just take a nap."
"Fine." Derek said opening the door to the condo.
"Bye."
"Bye..."
"My hand and I will be enjoying our..."
"I have something that's so much better..." He called.
"Prove it!"
"Fine..." Derek laughed, coming back into the house and picking her up.
"Mmm...hello."
"Upstairs."
"Please..."
"Okay." He laughed, kissing her quickly before carrying her up be stairs. This was how things were supposed to be. They were supposed to be this happy family, not the ones who were fighting and yelling at each other. And now things were back to normal like it was supposed to be.