CHAPTER 18

Maddy rode the elevator up to the floor where her office was for the first time since Wyatt was born. It felt familiar, yet oddly strange at the same time. She had ridden this elevator hundreds of times in the six years that she had worked for Lakeshore. Knowing that this was one of the last times she would be in it felt bittersweet. She loved her job. Being appointed to the Director of the department after less than two years of employment had been a huge transition that was completely unexpected. As she told Em the other night, she was lucky enough to have the credentials that the hospital administrator was looking for. Emily could do the job blindfolded. She had been with Lakeshore for over ten years and was more than capable of being the Director. Now was her chance to shine and prove to the people in administration that she could handle the job, but she tended to get tongue tied whenever she spoke to anyone higher up than her and that could be her downfall. Em didn't know it, but Maddy had made an appointment to see Walter Addison, the hospital administrator. She wanted to take the opportunity to talk with him and sell him the idea of Emily Morrison taking over her position. She also wanted to ferret out his feelings on the tuition reimbursement program. She felt she needed to do this for Em. She was her best friend in the whole world and she was more than capable of doing the job. She was a little unorthodox, to be sure, but still a smart and effective social worker.

The elevator doors opened and Maddy stepped onto the unit. She had Wyatt in tow in his infant seat and was holding Finn's hand as she pushed the big glass door to the department open. Before she could make her way to her office, the social workers that she had been in charge of for the last several years crowded around her. Many of them hugged her and complimented her on how beautiful the baby was and how big Finn had grown. She had only been gone for three months, but it felt like three years. She had been in full-time Momma mode and it felt foreign to her to be back in her professional surroundings. To Maddy, it was a sign that she was ready to give it all up to be a stay-at-home mom.

"When is your last day, Mrs. Casey?" asked Rose, the young girl who had been her assistant for the last couple of years.

"My resignation will be effective beginning on the eighth of next month. Wyatt will turn three months old then."

"Do you know if the administration is going to let Ms. Morrison take over for you? She's been doing a great job since you've been gone," she said.

"I don't, Rose…but I will be putting in a good word for her later today," said Maddy, putting one finger up to her lips, signaling the young girl that she didn't want Em to know. Maddy then made her way to her office to find Em sitting behind the desk. She was on the phone, but saw Maddy peek her head into the doorway. She held up one finger, letting Maddy know that she would be off the phone soon. Maddy smiled to herself, seeing her best friend in command of the department. There was something different about Em. She looked more professional than she ever had, wearing a smart, charcoal colored, two-piece pinstripe suit with a starched white shirt and her usual Uggs were replaced with matching low-heeled pumps. Her chin length hair was pulled back and clasped at the back of her neck and as Maddy slowly approached the desk, she could see Em was wearing make-up, something she always refused to do before.

"Wow, Em…you look great!" exclaimed Maddy, as Em hung up the phone.

"Thanks, Mads. Since I'm vying for this job, I thought I'd take a page out of your book," she replied, as Finn clambered into her lap. She settled the toddler on her legs and kissed the back of his head. "Are you packing up today?"

"Yeah, I thought I'd get it done now before you move in permanently."

"That's not a done deal yet, Mads."

"You're a shoe in," said Maddy, waving her hand and dismissing her friend's negativity. She walked over to the couch and set the infant seat on one of the cushions. She admired the cream colored upholstery and the soft pink accent pillows that she had picked out for the office when she took over the directorship. She picked one of them up and hugged it to her.

"Will you be redecorating?" she asked, turning around and looking at her friend.

"I don't know. Probably. Your taste is too girly for me. I like black leather," said Em, with a smirk.

"Did you want the boxes in here, Ms. Morrison?" Both Maddy and Em turned their attention to the man standing in the office doorway. It was Leo Markham, one of the guys that worked in the maintenance department. He had been at Lakeshore for at least twenty years. He was always friendly and kind and very helpful. He walked with a distinct limp, the result of an old army injury and a bad hip. Yet he worked circles around the younger guys in the department.

"Yeah, Leo. Just drop them in the middle of the floor. Thanks."

"Hey, Mrs. Casey! How are you?" he said as he saw Maddy standing by the couch as he entered the room. He put the boxes down and walked over to give her a hug. "Oh, my! Is this the little guy? What's his name?" he asked, peering down at the baby.

"Wyatt," replied Maddy. "And Finn is over there, sitting on Em's lap," she said, motioning with her hand. Leo glanced over at the boy, then back to Maddy.

"I hear you're leaving Lakeshore, Mrs. Casey? Is that what the boxes are for?"

"Yes, Leo. I'm going to be staying home with the babies for a while."

"Gonna miss you, Mrs. Casey. You're a real nice lady," he said.

"Thank you, Leo. I'll miss you, too. You always wear a kind smile and were always very helpful to me." The old gentleman nodded his head as he pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped his eyes.

"I'll be happy to take those down to your car when you're ready, Mrs. Casey. Just holler when you need me," he said, as he turned around and headed for the door.

"What the hell am I? The Wicked Witch of the West?" said Em, as she put Finn on the floor and got up from her chair. Maddy sat Finn on the couch next to the baby and gave him a drink, a snack and a picture book. She hoped they would keep him occupied for the next twenty minutes so she could pack up her desk and her other belongings.

"Oh, stop," said Maddy, as she began picking items up off the desk and placing them in one of the boxes. As she picked up a framed photograph of Matt, her and Finn, her breath caught in her throat for a minute. They all looked so happy, standing together as a family on North Beach. Everything had gone to hell since then. She felt herself tearing up as she looked at the smile on Matt's face. He had insisted that they take a selfie, even though Finn was getting tired and cranky. She remembered giving him a few goldfish crackers before he settled in on her lap and smiled as if on cue when Matt took the picture. Food always puts him in a good mood. He was like his Auntie Em in that way.

When she finished cleaning out her desk, she boxed the items up and placed it on the floor near the office door. She picked up an empty box and began to remove items from the shelving unit behind the desk. They were mostly knickknacks that people had given her over the years, several text books from her college days and her framed diplomas from NYU. She felt a little sad, knowing that her Masters Degree in Social Work would no longer be relevant to her after today, except for the student loans she was still paying off.

When she and Jace got married, he promised to pay for her tuition at Texas A & M when she was accepted into the Masters program. But life had other plans for her. After Jace was reported dead, she was whisked back to Chicago by her parents when she was released from the hospital in Ft. Worth. Within months of being back home, she needed to get her life back on track, so she moved back to New York and finished her Masters Degree at NYU. Her life had come almost full circle since then, now that Jace was back in her life. But instead of the joy she felt when they were first together, she felt a sense of shame for making her life into the mess it was now. She dusted off the frames and carefully packed them away, covering them in bubble wrap before laying them in the box. She glanced over at Finn, who was sitting quietly and looking through his book while he shared his goldfish crackers with Em. Looking at the pair of them, she suddenly felt pangs of guilt for being so upset with her friend last Sunday. There was no denying that Em was being nosey and intrusive that day, but she also had a good heart and a loving spirit. She was the best friend that she had ever had and Maddy couldn't imagine her life without her. She had gotten her through many more tough times than she had created for her. She piled the full box on top of the other one near the office door and was suddenly relieved that Leo had offered to help her bring them down to her car.

She moved back over to the desk, sitting down in the chair behind it. She noted how it felt differently underneath her than it had before she went on maternity leave. Maddy took that as another sign that she was meant to move on from this position and start a new life. She opened the drawers and pawed through their contents, taking certain items and leaving most of it behind. As she went through the random papers and dozens of scribbled notes, she came across a picture of her and Jace from last October in Texas. She had taken it with her phone on the afternoon that Jace had prepared a picnic for the two of them. She had uploaded it to her computer and printed it out, then shoved it into her desk. Many times, she had tried to throw it away, but something would stop her each time. She glanced back over at Em, who was still busy with Finn, so she laid the picture on the desk and smoothed it out with her hands. Then she carefully laid it between her diplomas.

She went back to the desk and woke up the computer to go through her personal contacts and deleted those that Em would never need, like the hospital in Houston where Jace had been a patient and his personal contact information. She briefly toyed with the idea of sending out an email to the hospital leadership about her resignation, but thought she should ask the administrator first. She would do that when she met with him later today.

"I guess I'm all done here," she said, folding up the flaps of the last box and setting it on top of the desk. "Are you okay staying with the boys while I go downstairs to hand in my resignation to Addison or would you rather have me take them down to the daycare?"

"Will Wyatt need a boob while you're gone? He'll be shit out of luck with me if he does," said Em, looking up at her. She was munching on goldfish crackers when Finn offered her a sip of his juice from his sippy cup. The two of them were such a cute pair. It pained Maddy to know that Em did not want to have any children. She had such a loving, nurturing way with Finn. She thought Em would be a great mother, but Em definitely felt differently. Em had had a good relationship with her mother until her mother remarried. Prior to then, Em enjoyed several trips abroad with her mother, acting as her traveling companion. Once she remarried, that all changed. The man she married ended up controlling her mother and her finances and made all the decisions that affected their relationship and her mother was powerless to stop it. Em had confided to her that she didn't want to end up treating her own kids like that, so she made the decision not to have any. She wondered how Kelly felt about that.

"I just fed him about an hour ago. He should be good for a couple more hours. If you need me, just text me and I'll come up and get him." Em nodded her head, then turned her attention back to Finn. Maddy glanced down at the baby, who was still sound asleep in his carrier. "I should be back in less than an hour. Finn, be a good boy for Auntie Em, okay?" The toddler nodded his head as he took a long sip from his juice box. Maddy grabbed her purse and headed for the door. She crossed through the bank of cubicles until she got to the elevators. She pushed the down button and waited.

"Here goes nothing," she said as she stepped inside.