Chapter 7: Exchange of Missives

Severus woke and left for breakfast early, as he had the previous week. This time, however, he lingered in the Entrance Hall, waiting for Attwater. When the Seventh Year finally emerged from the passage to Hufflepuff dorms, Severus made his way over. "Prefect Attwater...might I request a moment of your time?"

Attwater nodded and followed him to the same classroom they'd gone to before. "What is it?" The prefect's voice was rough, sleep-laden and just the faintest bit grouchy.

Severus dipped his head in respect. "My apologies. I won't take much of your time. I just wanted to know if you knew anything about a particular package I received yesterday." He brought out the Charms book and attending letter. "I know the handwriting isn't yours, but given our previous discussion, I thought you might be involved. Or at least know something about it."

Attwater took the note and read it, looking a little more alert. Then he shrugged and handed it back. "I can see why you'd think I'd know about it, but I didn't send this to you, Snape, and I don't know who did." He tilted his head, looking at Severus again. "It looks like someone wants to be friends with you."

"Then why would they hide their identity?" Severus scowled as he looked at the note.

Attwater actually chuckled. "Honestly Snape...I'll grant you've had a rough time of it, what with those Gryffindor fellows after you and all, but even without that...you've a reputation. I did some listening around after I cleaned you up. Word says you're bright, scary talented, but also a bit of a loner, with a sharp attitude and a sharper tongue. Rumor has it that you take to making friends like most people take to screaming mandrakes or Acromantulas, even if you are insanely loyal when someone gets past that prickly shell of yours." He shrugged again. "It might be they just want to make friends with you before they actually introduce themselves, to avoid some of your temper."

There wasn't much he could say to that, though why anyone would bother approaching him for friendship now, in Sixth Year, when they hadn't bothered the previous five, he had no idea. He doubted, with the neatness of the handwriting and the salutation, that it was a First Year.

Attwater shifted his weight. "Anything else? Because we both need some breakfast before class."

He considered mentioning his work on the project Attwater had set him, but he preferred to give updates when he actually had progress to report. "No. Thank you for your time." He dipped his head in another nod of respect, which Attwater returned, then followed the prefect back out of the classroom and into the Great Hall.

Avery questioned his entrance with the Hufflepuff, of course, but Severus had expected the question and had his answer ready, replying that Attwater had given him some assistance and he was working on repaying it. The answer earned him some derision, but that was nothing new.

He ate breakfast quickly, then dashed off to the owlery, to pen a brief note, which he then tied to the leg of a random school owl to be sent. He was tempted to place a Tracking Spell on the bird, but he didn't have time, not with class about to start. He settled for launching the bird, then racing down the stairs towards his class, glad he'd recovered enough to have some stamina back in his body and hoping he'd not run into the Marauders on the way.

Luck was with him. He made it to class with no obstacles, not even an unruly staircase, and slid through the door and into his seat a minute before the start of class.

He wondered what his mystery benefactor would say when they received his reply.

***ASiSF***

Remus wasn't surprised when Lily informed him that Severus had asked her about the Charms book. He'd been expecting it. In fact, they'd planned to wait a week or so before the next delivery to give Severus time to air his suspicions and relax.

None of them were surprised the following morning when Severus entered the Great Hall behind Prefect Attwater. It made sense that Severus would speak to the Prefect who had supposedly taken care of him. Remus hadn't told the older student about their plans with the textbooks, simply because they weren't part of what he wanted Attwater to cover for them. After all, they had to have something to allow them to make peace overtures.

Sirius and James had been getting restless, wanting to play a prank. Remus had finally suggested they do something lighthearted and ridiculous...to the Gryffindors. Sirius and James had agreed, with the caveat that they include the Ravenclaws, or the Hufflepuffs. No Slytherins, since they were making it clear they'd sworn off Severus and Regulus, and didn't want to raise suspicions among the rest of the Snake House, but someone other than the Gryffindors was to be included.

Remus had agreed to include one of the other Houses, then sent a note of his own to Attwater, as a friendly and respectful warning.

Now, they were just waiting for an optimum time. And for Severus to make his next move. They didn't have to wait long for the latter.

Remus returned to his dorm after his last class to find a school owl with an unmarked note. He untied the note, gave the owl some of James' owl treats, then unfurled the scroll.

The letter was short and to the point, and it made him smile.

Esteemed Associate,

I am gratified to have piqued your interest, and to have been a recipient of your generosity. I shall, of course, make full use of the item enclosed with your missive, as I see no point in refusing to do so. However, I confess that I should find myself even more gratified if I knew the name of my benefactor, as well as the expectations conferred by such generous patronage.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape, of Slytherin House

Remus laughed softly. Really, the letter was just what he might expect from Severus. Formal and straightforward. It was interesting, however, to note that Severus's writing showed more sophistication than his speech patterns. From the rows with the Marauders and the times he'd overheard Severus speaking, to Lily or someone else, he'd heard that Severus spoke with a rough accent, even struggling to articulate his thoughts at times. But the writing had a vocabulary and a degree of elegance that matched Sirius and James, at least when they were trying to be neat.

He wondered about the difference, and how it had come about. He also wondered how it had influenced Snape's interactions with his housemates. Or how it had been influenced by them. From what little he knew of Slytherins, the rough accent, as well as the worn clothing of his previous years, must have placed him at a disadvantage. Perhaps Snape had honed his written skills in an effort to rise above it. But then, why wouldn't he develop his speaking skills as well, to better imitate the polish of his more prominent housemates?

Logically, there were a few reasons. One, that he did it to maintain at least a pretense of subservience, for people like Avery and Rosier, or Malfoy before his graduation. Or two, that there was another reason, some situation that required him to maintain his older speaking patterns. Such as spending his summer holidays with a father who, from what they'd seen, regularly assaulted him. Or, it could be simply that Severus was like Peter and had trouble with nerves when he was speaking. Not that Remus had ever seen evidence of that in five years of altercations between the Marauders and Severus, but still...it was possible.

Remus put his speculations aside. It really didn't matter why Severus spoke one way and wrote another. It was interesting information, and he might get an answer someday, but for now he needed to concentrate less on that and more on how he was going to respond to the letter Severus had sent him. He considered waiting until they sent their next parcel, but he wanted to strike up a relationship with Snape, and only communicating with the deliveries would reinforce the idea that it was a matter of patronage, which seemed linked in the Slytherin's mind with debt, or at least obligations.

No. He'd answer the letter promptly.

He'd also have to thank Lily and Sirius for the Charm they'd invented to make sure that owls meant for him wouldn't come to the Great Hall. He was fairly certain that Severus would make at least one attempt to find out who was sending him mail, and it wouldn't do to have his cover blown too early.

Remus stored the letter in his bedside drawer and went down to dinner, still contemplating his reply.

***ASiSF***

Severus wasn't sure what he was expecting from his unknown benefactor. A list of demands, perhaps. A refusal to reply. Money. He'd already asked around about the cost of the book, and knew how much he owed whoever had sent it. Of course, he'd also already glamoured it to look like his old book, so none of his housemates would get suspicious.

He wasn't expecting the owl that dropped a thin parchment scroll by his plate the next morning, but he wasn't overly surprised by it either. He picked up the scroll and pocketed it before anyone else could comment and went back to eating his breakfast. He'd decided to try eggs and toast and bacon and sausage this morning, just to see if his stomach could handle it. He was still drinking the tea that had been thoughtfully provided for him, but he felt better than he had at the start of term, and was hoping he'd be able to progress to a heavier and more balanced diet soon. He needed to put weight on his frame, particularly if he wanted to maintain his growth. Since he didn't want to wind up shorter than Potter, he had every intention of eating well enough to keep growing, now that he'd started.

He finished breakfast and left early, getting to the Potions classroom with plenty of time to spare, and therefore plenty of time to read the letter that had been sent to him. He unrolled it and read through it twice, scowling.

Dear Mr. Snape,

I appreciate the courteousness of your reply. Sadly, I am afraid I must decline to provide my name at this time. While I know enough about you to be sure that my contributions will not be wasted, I would prefer to know you better before revealing my identity, and I would prefer that you know me better as well. I understand this may be quite vexing for you, however, I beg your indulgence of this whim. Consider it a test of your patience, if you will. Or perhaps, if you should prefer it, a test of my trustworthiness. No doubt you fear that, having the advantage of your name, I shall abuse it, but I shall not. I ask only that you give me time to prove that to you.

As for the expectations conferred by my patronage, as you put it...I have none in particular, unless one counts the furthering of your academic excellence. However, if you should require some sort of expectation to soothe your mind...then perhaps you might take this into consideration. I am aware that a young man in your particular situation (or at least so much as I know of it), has limited choices after Hogwarts. I wish to expand those choices, and give you an opportunity to seek after new avenues of furthering your goals. Or, if I might be indelicate...I am aware that you have had a difficult time in school, and that those among your peers who have given you the most support urge you to follow a certain individual of a somewhat dangerous persuasion. I wish to convince you that there is an alternative to said individual, and I find it easier to make my case through actions and letters than in conversation.

In light of these facts, I look forward to our continued correspondence.

An Associate

Severus scowled and just barely refrained from crumpling the note in his fist. With a snarl, he folded it and shoved it into his bag, pulling out his supplies for class instead.

Lily walked in as he was setting up his cauldron, and immediately noticed the expression on his face. "Sev...are you all right?"

He grimaced, then shook his head. "Tell you after class." The rest of the sixth year Potions students would arrive soon, and he didn't want to risk the Marauders overhearing what he said.

"All right." Lily nodded and moved to her own work-station.

Fortunately, they were brewing the Draught of Peace for that class. That was a potion Severus knew well, and it wasn't particularly difficult, not by his standards. Although, it was harder than usual to keep his focus. He kept thinking about the letter.

The writing patterns were those of someone educated, but given that he was in a school, that didn't help much. Whoever it was clearly didn't support the Dark Lord, given their references at the end of the missive about wanting to present him with an alternate path. They knew something about his time at Hogwarts, which reinforced his impression that they were a student or a teacher. At the very least, they had contact with an older student or a teacher.

But who would know that he might be open to an alternative to the Dark Lord? Hell, if it weren't for Lily and Prefect Attwater, he wasn't sure he'd care. And if they did have access to the school, then why hadn't they done anything in his first five years? Merlin knew, he could have used good textbooks last year, when he was studying for his O.W.L tests.

Then again, that might be why they preferred to remain nameless. They hadn't helped him before, and knew that he'd scorn them now. That was likely what they meant by proving themselves with letters and actions first. He scowled.

He finished his work, cleaned up his station, then lingered, ostensibly taking notes while in reality he waited for Lily. To his relief, most of the students, including the Marauders, left as soon as they were done and had copied out the homework assignment. Lily, on the other hand, seemed to sense he was waiting for her, and started taking notes of her own.

Finally, it was just the two of them. Severus gathered his notes. Lily packed her bag, and the two of them fell into step as they left the classroom.

Lily waited until they were well up the hall before breaking the silence. "Severus?"

"I sent the reply you suggested, and I got another of those letters." He rolled his free shoulder. "It says they want to get to know me better, with letters, and they implied that they want me to avoid the Dark Lord."

"Well…" Lily hesitated, then spoke softly. "You were planning to try, weren't you? So this could be a good thing for you."

"I...I don't know." Severus swallowed, all too aware that there was nothing to keep someone from overhearing their conversation. And, being in the dungeons, it was likely to be a Slytherin. "I...I guess I'll see how it goes."

"Will you write back?" Lily glanced at him.

"I think so. I want to see what other information I can get, at the least." Severus let her go first up the last staircase to the Entrance Hall, then caught up with her. "I've got to be in the Common Room tonight, but maybe...meet me Saturday?"

"Sure." Lily smiled, then pushed the door to the Great Hall open. Severus followed her, feeling the rumble in his stomach that had become familiar in the past week or so as his appetite revived.

He was contemplating how to respond to the latest letter when a rough elbow jolted him out of his thoughts. "Oi, Snape."

Severus sighed and looked up at Avery. "Yes?"

Avery scowled at him. "Saw you walking in with that Gryffindor mudblood. I thought you came to your senses and split with her last term."

"We left Potions at the same time." He shrugged. "It happens."

"Yeah, but you looked a little too happy about it." Avery gave him a pointed look. "I thought you'd wised up. Don't tell me you've gone back on that."

Severus winced internally, though he kept his face expressionless. "If you must know, I need some help catching up in Ancient Runes and Arithmancy, and Charms. She agreed in return for some Potions tutoring."

Avery's scowl didn't fade. "There are plenty of Slytherins who could help you."

"I'm aware. But consider this." Severus met Avery's glare with a cool look that he hoped masked the unease within him. "If I asked a Slytherin for help in three subjects, I'd owe three sets of favors for the trouble. With the Gryff girl, I can pay all of those with just one return, the Potions tutoring. It's much simpler. Besides...she's useful for keeping tabs on those idiot Marauders. I made a show of apologizing and all...if she can keep them away from me, then it's worth the investment. I don't need any distractions from my studies." He let a faint sneer curl his mouth. "I can act friendly without meaning it. And one doesn't have to like someone to use them, after all."

Avery studied his expression, then shrugged, though his glower didn't lift. "Just remember Snape. You remember her place, if you want to keep yours with us. And if you want to keep the options of patronage we offer you."

"I know her place and mine well enough, thank you." Severus bent his head and turned his attention to his food. He wasn't hungry anymore, but he knew he needed to eat.

His place. Barely tolerated half-blood, respected only for his talents in certain subjects and his mother's dark rituals, that was his place. And for all Avery's hints of patronage, none of them were exactly leaping to shield him from the Marauders.

He couldn't help thinking of the offer in the letter he'd received. The subtle hints about other options. He wasn't inclined to pay them much mind at the moment, not when he knew so little about this 'Associate', but if there was some option out there, better than kissing up to Avery and Malfoy and the like...well, he wouldn't make his decision too soon. He'd already made a point of keeping his options open, he saw no point in denying himself any possible method of advancement.

Of course, he fully intended to reply and see what more he could learn about his mystery correspondent.

He spent the rest of lunch composing his reply in his head.

***ASiSF**

Remus had been playing close attention to Severus. He'd seen the Slytherin youth receive his letter. He'd seen Severus leave early, and he'd seen the scowl when he entered Potions that he suspected meant Severus had read the letter as well, and wasn't pleased about the contents. Which was what he'd expected after all. After all, Snape had every reason to be suspicious.

On that note, he wasn't particularly surprised to find an owl, and a note, on his bedside table the following morning. He took the owl before it could hoot too much, gave it some more treats he'd cadged from James, and opened the letter.

Again, it was short and to the point.

Esteemed Associate,

I suppose, having been the recipient of your generosity, that I cannot complain too much about the restrictions you wish to impose upon it's implementation. Likewise, your suggestion regarding alternatives upon completion of the Hogwarts curriculum has been noted, though I cannot fathom how you intend for anonymous correspondence and a text or two to influence the choices that are available to me. However, I suppose you have this year and next to demonstrate your meaning.

You have said that you wished to know me better, and that you would wish to extend the same courtesy of information to me, to further our introduction, unusual as it is, to each other. That being said, I should hope that, if you will not give me your name to properly address you by, then you will at least permit me the freedom of asking questions of you.

Sincerely

Severus Snape of Slytherin House

Remus chuckled. He was impressed at how Snape could manage to be polite, subtly caustic, and almost Gryffindorishly direct all in one missive. He'd have to see if he could learn that skill.

"Hey Moony." James stumbled over from his own bed, blinking sleepy eyes. "What are you reading at this hour?"

"Yeah." Sirius staggered up behind him. "It's not even time for breakfast yet, Moony old man." He yawned, running a hand through sleep-tangled hair.

"Letter from Snape." Remus grinned. "He's been writing me back ever since we sent that first package to him." He considered a moment, then extended the letter. "Have a look."

James blinked, then passed the note to Sirius while he fumbled snatched his glasses and fumbled them onto his nose. He blinked again as his vision adjusted, then craned his neck over Sirius's shoulder.

Sirius finished reading it with a low grumble. "Snape writes like he's got a stick up his arse, or a professor looking over his shoulder."

James nodded. "Yeah. I haven't seen anything written like that since I read through my dad's letters in his office one day. He writes like he thinks you're going to grade him on it. Or something." He nudged Sirius, and Sirius handed the letter back.

Remus folded it carefully and put it away. "I'd noticed, but I'm not surprised." He shrugged as he flung back the covers and climbed out of bed to begin his morning routine. "He doesn't know me. For all he knows, I might be an adult, a teacher, or a prefect. Well...I am the last one, but...the point still stands." He rummaged in his trunk for clean robes and a shirt and pants. "Besides...can you imagine how the Slytherins would act, if he didn't have good penmanship?"

Sirius grimaced. "Probably like my mother and brother do." He shivered, like a dog shaking off water. "Think he'll ever really loosen up?"

Remus shrugged into a clean shirt. "Maybe. It'll take a bit, if it ever happens. He may just be used to writing like that. In any case, we'll see."

James had already turned away to collect his own clothing. "Are you going to reply now, or wait until we send that next package?"

"Oh, I'll reply today. But maybe not at breakfast. I might leave it until later. Dinner or something. Or tomorrow morning. I don't want him to get too suspicious." Remus tucked his shirt in and did up his buttons, then glanced over to the bed where Peter was sleeping. He sighed, straightened his clothes a bit, then stalked over to shake his friend's shoulder. "Peter. Wake up, or you'll be late for breakfast." The other boy didn't move, so Remus bent down until he was an inch from Peter's ear. "WAKE UP!"

Peter jerked wildly, almost rolling off the bed. "Wha...Remus?"

"Sorry. I tried to be nice. But you weren't getting up. It was that or an Aguamenti to the face." Remus turned back to finish getting ready. He could feel the low level stiffness that was the first herald of the approaching moon. It wouldn't hurt for another few days or so, but he knew the moon was waxing. He could also feel the irritable itch at his nerves, the vague restlessness that surfaced as the wolf began to wake.

Remus paused in tying his tie as a thought brought him up short. Severus knew about his 'furry little problem'. Snape also knew that Remus had to have seen something of his condition, and that he was a prefect. The Slytherin would definitely notice if he stopped all correspondence for the days of the full moon. And that might just give him away too soon, even if the Marauders were the last people that Snape would expect generosity from.

He could write a letter beforehand, but Snape might notice if the letter didn't match with the ones that had come before. If there were questions left unanswered, or the reply wasn't quite what it should be.

The best bet, at least for this full moon, was to send his the letter with the next book they planned to send. Then the letter could be excused for being vague, since it was accompanied by a parcel. He'd have to sort out a method for dealing with later letters though.

Perhaps he could teach James or Sirius the spell to forge his handwriting...Lily would be a better choice though. Lily was responsible enough not to abuse the skill, and she might be better able to manage the style of correspondence he preferred. Although, since Snape seemed willing to discuss the letters with her, that might complicate matters.

He'd have to think about it more later, and likely after the full moon. In the meantime, he had breakfast to eat, classes to attend, and a letter to reply to.

Remus scooped up his bag and followed his dorm-mates down to breakfast, already considering his reply.

***ASiSF***

Severus wasn't particularly surprised not to receive a letter the next morning at breakfast. He'd sent his owl after dinner the night before. What did surprise him was how much he'd actually wanted to get a letter. He'd only exchanged four letters with his mystery benefactor all told, and he saw no reason to be so interested. He hardly knew anything about he individual. In fact, he wasn't even sure if the other was male or female, adult or student.

He spent his breakfast watching the owls that fluttered around the Great Hall, and convincing himself that it was a matter of curiosity, nothing more. He wanted to know who he was beholden to, and that was the limit of his concerns. If they considered him too impertinent for demanding answers, then he'd appreciate the new Charms book and think no more on the matter.

He kept his mind off the letters for the rest of the day by focusing on his schoolwork, and on avoiding Avery's watchful gaze. The other Slytherin was still suspicious of him, and Severus was glad he'd decided not to meet Lily before Saturday. Saturday morning Avery would be in Quidditch practice, and it would be easier to slip away. Besides, he'd established a reputation of doing his homework early, and with his current workload, no one would be surprised that he'd retreated to the library for some peace and quiet.

The next morning at breakfast, another letter was dropped next to his plate. Severus scooped it up before anyone else could see, depositing it in his study bag. He finished his oatmeal, bacon and eggs quickly, then made his way to the library. He settled himself at his usual table and, after checking there was no one else there, cracked the seal on the letter.

This one was short, much shorter than the other two.

Dear Mr. Snape,

You are of course welcome to make any inquiries you like. While I shall not divulge my name at present, I am willing to answer other questions you may have. That is an essential part of getting to know one another, is it not?

I await your questions. And likewise, hope that I shall soon be able to look forward to your replies to my own.

An Associate

Severus read through the note, blinking at the terseness, then rolled it back up. He didn't need Lily's help to reply to this. After all, his first question was clear.

He pulled out a small roll of parchment and penned out a quick response before putting it in his bag to send later, after his study session with Lily had ended.

Moments later, Lily came around the bookcase. "Hey."

"Hey." He smiled, moving his books aside so she could sit on the far side of him. It helped camouflage who he was with, should there be other Slytherins spying on him. Avery wasn't above setting some of the young years to watch him after all. "How are you?"

"Doing well, so far." Lily made a face. "But we have so much homework...I don't know how we're supposed to remember everything for our N.E. if it's going to be like this for two years."

Severus shrugged. "I expect we'll have to do some serious revision next year. But..." He flushed, his ability to speak his mind fading as it always did when he was with her. "I'm sure you'll do brilliant, Lily. You're good at magic and all..."

Lily smiled gently at him. "I'm sure you'll do great too. You're pretty good yourself."

Severus shrugged. "With some things. Defense and Potions. But you're better at Charms, and I'm not so great at Transfiguration. And I'm only average at Runes and Arithmancy…"

"That's not true. You're good. You just have trouble explaining things sometimes. Besides, I know you. How often have you had trouble on an assignment because you figure out halfway through how something might work differently or be improved?" Lily seized his hand. "I know it can be tough Sev, but...you've created your own spells. Attwater asked you to create a whole new Potion for him, and it didn't even phase you. And I know you've been practicing Wandless and Wordless magic in your spare time. Can't you see how incredible that is? You're only 16, after all."

Severus ducked his head, hiding behind the curtain of his long hair. "Maybe. Still, I've got a lot I need to improve on."

"Then we should get started." Lily grinned and pulled out her books. "So, if you're concerned about Charms...shall we work on that first?"

"That or Transfiguration, yeah." Severus nodded, pulling out his own books. "Some of these laws...The Gamp Law of Limits...I know what it says, but I'm trying to figure out how it applies to diverse branches..."

"Hold on...I saw a book here the other day that gives a more concrete reference..." Lily stood up and darted away, into the Transfiguration section of the library. Severus watched her go, thinking.

He wanted to be better. He wanted to believe Lily was right about his skills, but he couldn't help seeing where he needed to improve. And while he'd never say it to her...he wanted to be good enough to match Potter in every subject. Not just the ones he was naturally gifted at. He wanted to be good enough...he wanted to prove he was good enough, to know in his own mind that he wasn't dismissed by teachers and students alike because of his own faults, but because of theirs.

And, in the deepest corner of his mind, where he could hardly admit it to himself, he knew that he wanted to show his unknown benefactor that he was improving. That he was using what he'd been given. It might still all be a cruel joke on him, in the end. But until that was proven, he'd show whoever had finally decided to help him that he was worthy of their consideration. And when he finally identified them, he'd be able to hold his head up, even if it was a cruel joke.

Lily came back, lugging not one but several books. Severus stood to help her get them on the table, set half in front of each of their seats, then flipped the top one open to search for information he could use. Lily settled in beside him with her own books, and ten minutes later they were engrossed in a low-voiced debate on the merits of two different theories, and all thoughts of future plans or possible pitfalls were forgotten.

***ASiSF***

Remus had to admit, the nagging itch of waiting for Snape's response was almost enough to distract him from the tingling restlessness the waxing moon inflicted on him. Almost.

He spent most of Saturday working on his homework, and trying not to think about the full moon, or letters, or his companions. He still hadn't decided whether he could forgive or trust them enough to have their company for the full moon. After all they'd done to Snape, he almost felt that a couple evenings of ripping himself to shreds would be justified. A sort of punishment, even if Snape would never know he had endured it.

In truth, the problem lay mainly in his relationship with Sirius. Sirius had always been one of the main instigators of their feud against Severus. He'd been the one to start the incident at the lake last year. And, apparently, he'd willingly betrayed Remus's secret, simply as a way to 'prank' Snape, to get back at him for being curious. Which could be considered hypocritical, considering how curious they had been about his disappearances. And how many rules they had broken, both in discovering his secret and in their reaction to it.

And, now that he was no longer making excuses to himself, he could admit that Snape – Severus – had a valid point. He was dangerous when he transformed. And what they'd done, even though they hadn't been caught, and no real harm had been done, had been reckless. He could have hurt someone. And if James and Sirius, particularly Sirius, had grown so complacent as to reveal his secret so easily, then next time someone might truly get hurt.

He might be too ashamed of his failings to admit them to Dumbledore, and he might be too loyal to his friends to report them, but that didn't mean he had to continue the pattern of recklessness that had come of it. When it came down to it, he'd rather shred his own limbs and suffer than risk infecting someone else. He'd fought against the wolf for most of his life, he'd not inflict that fate on another. Nor would he be responsible for someone's death.

He was tempted to wander down to the library, to see how Lily and Severus's study session was going. The two of them had patched up things pretty well, at least on the surface, but he had to wonder if the relationship had really healed. He refrained from spying on them with an effort. As curious as he was, that relationship was Lily's business to manage. He had no place in it. Perhaps, once he'd revealed himself, and convinced Severus of his sincerity, then he could join them.

By the end of the day, he was satisfied with the amount of homework he'd managed to finish, and Lily had come back with a smile on her face, and he went to bed at least moderately content, if not relaxed.

When he woke up, there was an owl waiting for him. Remus grinned and took the small roll of parchment from the bird, opening it up to find a short note penned inside.

Esteemed Associate,

I have many questions. However, for my first inquiry, I shall limit myself to the following:

What is it, precisely, that you think you know about me?

Sincerely,

Severus Snape of Slytherin House

Remus snorted. It wasn't quite what he'd expected, but he supposed it was a valid question. He snatched a roll of parchment off his bedside table, along with an Ever-Inking Quill and a book to serve as a lap desk, and began to pen his reply. He'd woken early, and with any luck, he'd be able to send a reply back for the morning mail.

***ASiSF***

Severus wasn't really expecting a quick reply. After all, it was only his supposition that the letter writer was in Hogwarts. He was pleasantly surprised when, at breakfast, an owl dropped a roll of parchment beside his plate before stealing a strip of bacon and flying off. Severus put the roll in a pocket quickly, but not quickly enough.

"You've been getting a fair amount of mail lately." Regulus scooted closer. "Normally you don't get as much in a year as you have this week."

Normally he had no one to contact, and no one who'd contact him. He swallowed a bite of his breakfast, before fixing Regulus with a level stare. "I've begun corresponding with some people. People who are willing to aid me in my endeavors. We keep in contact." There was enough truth in the words to make them believable, even if he didn't know who his 'Associate' was.

"Really? You finally decided to ask Lucius, or..." Regulus trailed off at Severus's glare.

"Who I choose to write to is my affair. I shall share that information if and when I feel it is advantageous to do so." Severus turned pointedly away from Regulus, making it clear he would say no more on the matter.

"All right. No need to get your robes in a bunch. It's just...Avery's been asking questions in the Common Room..." Regulus kept his voice low.

"And I have answered him. He can be as suspicious as he likes. My associations are for my own gain, and as such, are my own business, and none of his, or yours." Severus turned back and regarded the younger Slytherin with a cool stare. "You and Avery can both rest assured that I know where my priorities, and my loyalties, lie."

Not necessarily where they thought they did, but he didn't have to tell Regulus that.

Regulus nodded and sat back. "I thought as much. Just...watch what you're doing."

"I shall." Severus stood and picked up his toast. "If you'll excuse me." He left before he could say or do anything he could regret.

Twenty minutes later he'd found an abandoned classroom and entered, warding it for privacy. He took a few minutes to calm his breathing and his emotions, then opened the letter.

Dear Mr. Snape,

Your question is a reasonable one, though not what I expected. However, as I have promised disclosure in regards to everything except my identity, I shall endeavor to answer to the best of my ability.

I know your name and your House, of course. Severus Snape. Sixth Year of Slytherin House. I know that you are not a Prefect, as well.

I know that you are said to be highly gifted in Potions, Herbology and Defense, fairly gifted in Charms and Ancient Runes, and not untalented in Arithmancy and Transfiguration. Of your skills in Care of Magical Creatures or Divination, I have no inkling, though I might assume, given your affinity for Potions, that you might have some knowledge in regards to the former. I have even heard rumors that your skill extends to actual spell-crafting, which I have heard is a difficult art, and implies that you possess both power and intellect.

I know that you have a reputation of being a rather taciturn individual, that you have few friends, and the majority of those, with one or two possible exceptions, are Slytherin, which is to be expected, as friendships are often formed within the House first.

I have heard rumors that you are possessed of a generally dour countenance, but do in fact possess a sense of humor, albeit a rather cutting one. Likewise, that you employ a keen intellect, with a rather hefty dose of sarcasm. The tone of our exchanges thus far leads me to believe that there is truth to these rumors.

I know that you have had a rather tumultuous, even violent, relationship with a group of Gryffindor students, who have taken great pains to target you for reasons I do not quite fathom, and that the results of your encounters have been mixed. Rumor has it that you are quite capable of defending yourself, though perhaps reputation and current events have led to unfavorable results in other areas of your academic career.

For the following, I beg your indulgence of my indelicacy, and perhaps, unwanted speculation:

The state of your clothing prior to this year and of your supplies indicates that you are not well off financially, though I shall not speculate on the reasons, as there are numerous ones to be found and I have no wish to insult by referencing the wrong one.

Regardless, I should hazard a guess that either you are largely on your own, or the problem of economic support is one which includes your entire family.

Also, from what I know of Pureblood families, there are none with the surname Snape, leading to the supposition that either you live with a family that is not yours by blood, or that you are half-blood or Muggleborn. I will not ask for confirmation of this theory, either, as I imagine that any truth in it would result in difficulties within the House in which you reside.

I have heard rumors that you have an affinity for Dark Magic, however, I consider this no concern, as I have a certain affinity myself. Moreover, I do not possess enough information to formulate a guess as to whether the matter is one of natural affinity, some sort of self-defense, or even a matter of familial or House education.

And that is really all I know about about you. Which, in the grand scheme of knowing a person, is nothing at all. What I would wish to know are things far more mundane, perhaps, but to me more personal and worthwhile. Things like your favorite color, and your favorite food, and your favorite subject (in school or independently). I should like to know your thoughts on various topics, political, historical, related to people or classes. In short, I should like to know you as a person, rather than a figure, if that makes sense.

I have many questions, but in the spirit of reciprocity, shall ask only one. The very same that you asked me, though I suspect your response shall be rather more brief than mine.

What is it, precisely, that you think you know about me?

An Associate

Severus read the letter several times, his heart thumping painfully against his ribs.

Whoever had written this...they knew what classes he took, or near enough, given the list they'd presented. They knew about his fights with the Marauders. They knew he was poor.

They also knew he was a half-blood, or at least suspected it. Not that it was a huge secret, anyone could look up pureblood lines and names and see that 'Snape' wasn't on the list.

He felt torn between rage and something else, something he couldn't identify. They'd obviously done their research on him, but...why now? After everything…

He bit his lip to stop the noises that wanted to escape, so strangled he didn't know whether he wanted to scream or snarl or sob. Pain erupted in his chest, a hot fiery burn that he had to clench both hands over to prevent it from erupting.

He had to get out. Severus shoved himself to his feet, breaking the wards he'd erected with brute force rather than taking them down. Then he was running, running fast, not caring who saw him, even if he hoped that no one did.

He fled outside, running until he was at the edge of the forest, where the trees met the lake. Only there did he stop. In a blazing fury, he set fire to the parchment of the letter and watched it burn to ash. Then, his rage unabated, he reached down, seized a handful of stones, and flung them at the lake. The splashing sounds did nothing to ease the soundless scream bubbling up inside him, so he whirled and threw them at the trees, listening to the harsh thud of stone against wood, and the occasional sharp crack as he broke a seedling or a branch.

That was better. He picked up more stones, throwing them and throwing them and throwing them, until his arms were shaking, his hands were dirty and bruised, and his shoulders ached. Only then did he sink to the ground, breath heaving in harsh gasps as the words of the letter replayed over and over in his mind.

Someone knew...everything. Everything that mattered about his school life, apparently. Maybe not his home life, but still…

It hurt to have hope that someone might care. It enraged him that they might only care now, after so many years of persecution and struggle and heartache. He wanted to take that offer of friendship and of hope and hold it tight. He wanted to find the sender of the letter and burn them to ashes as thoroughly as he'd burned the letter.

He wanted to ask Lily for her insight. He didn't want her to see him like this, his emotions tangled in a blazing knot.

Severus gulped in air, staring fixedly at the lake until his breathing came under control again. Gradually, his emotions calmed as well, enabling him to relax, just a bit.

He didn't know what to do about the letter, and he didn't want to think about it. He closed his eyes and forced himself to think about something else. The potion he was working on, to reduce the effects of brewing on personal hygiene. He'd already sorted out that, since the effects were caused by external sources, that the potion most likely needed to be topical in nature, a shampoo or something of the sort. He'd already sorted out some ideas, repellents and cleansers that might work, though the combination would be tricky.

He sat and thought about the potion, making notes in his head, until he felt calm again. Truly calm, rather than simply calmer. He managed to Transfigure a rock into a bowl, then took some water from the lake. He drank the bowl dry, then filled it again and used a carefully aimed Scourgify to clean his hands and his face. He used another charm to clean the dirt off his clothing, then headed back inside.

He had work to do.

***ASiSF***

Something had gone wrong. He just wasn't sure what.

Remus scowled at his paper, wondering what had happened. He'd seen Severus get his letter and stuff it in his pocket. He'd seen the Slytherin engage in a heated conversation with Regulus, only to leave shortly after.

He'd been leaving the Great Hall after finishing his own meal when he'd seen Severus shoot past him, at a speed that suggested there were either Marauders or dragons after him. Or manticores. It had worried him, but not enough that he'd followed the Slytherin. He knew the signs of someone seeking isolation and freedom well enough to know better than to intrude.

He'd waited in the hall, carefully hidden in the shadows, for over an hour, until Severus had finally reappeared. He'd looked fairly composed, calm even, but Remus had always endured heightened senses as the moon waxed and his nose told him that however calm Severus looked, the appearance was a lie. He could smell it. Dirt and stone and traces of salt and water and sweat. The faint scent of fire and ash. The stronger scent of soap, indicating that he'd cleaned himself, or something else, up. The sharp bite of scents that he recognized as anger, at least from Severus. Then Severus had disappeared into the dungeons, and he'd gone back to the Tower, wondering what in the name of Magic had happened.

And now, he was making a futile effort to work on his Herbology homework, while his mind kept drifting back to Severus and wondering what he'd done wrong.

He'd been as honest as he thought he could be. He hadn't mentioned that he knew, or suspected, about Severus being beaten or tormented at home. He'd only stated the things he thought someone would naturally see. He'd made sure to include a fair amount of praise and supportive comments, putting them first, so that Severus wouldn't feel that he was insulting him or trying to mock his circumstances.

And yet...he'd clearly written something he shouldn't have.

"Oi...Remus." The words were hesitant, and he looked up to find James, Sirius and Peter. James offered him a hesitant smile. "We thought we might work together a bit on homework. But if it's a bad time for you..."

"It isn't." He gestured to the other seats. He might as well explain. Maybe one of them would understand what he'd done. "I just ran into a bit of a problem."

"On homework? That's rare." James raised an eyebrow as he took his seat.

"Not on homework. On our...other endeavor." He set up a quick ward, one that would allow him to hear if someone needed him, but wouldn't allow their conversation to be overheard. "I've been writing to Severus. He wrote me back after we sent that first book, and since then we've been communicating steadily."

"We know that." Sirius shrugged. "We saw the letter."

"You saw one of three or four letters." Remus corrected him. "It's been fairly constant. But then, I got a letter this morning, early, asking what I knew about him." He ran a hand through his shaggy hair. "I tried to make it details that anyone in school could have known, but something about it seems to have set him off. He ran out of the school, stayed outside for over an hour, and when he came back, I could smell...he smelled like he'd been in a fight."

Sirius winced. "Well, you know it wasn't us."

"I didn't think it was." Remus shook his head. "I don't think he was actually in a fight. He just smelled the same as he does, sometimes, when we've fought him or cornered him outside."

"What did you say? In the letter, I mean?" James spoke softly.

"Just that...I knew he was good in some classes, excellent in others. That he was in Slytherin. That he'd been in fights with us, and tended to be a loner. I hinted that I suspected he was poor, and that he wasn't a pure-blood. I didn't think I said anything that he'd take badly. It was all common knowledge sort of stuff."

He saw Lily enter the Common Room and waved her over, waiting until she'd entered the ward. "Lily...I think I've mucked it up." He repeated what he'd told the others. "I know I said something wrong, but I've no idea what."

"You told him you knew." Lily winced. "Severus…he's always been bitter about being judged. In Slytherin for his blood status and his lack of money. Outside of House for his lack of money and his lack of social ties, to say nothing of the perceptions about Slytherins in general. And then with the Marauders persecuting him...you just told him that you knew about all of it. He's going to assume that you've known for a while, which isn't wrong, and he's angry that you never intervened before now. He might understand why you never bothered about his clothes or his supplies, but telling him that you knew about his fights with the Marauders...that's likely what did it. Or maybe...you've already demonstrated, with that Charms book, that you can and will help him. With that, and with the new clothes, even if he thinks they're from Attwater. So now he feels angry, because he could have got help, but you didn't care before, and he's probably wondering why you never bothered with him before, and why you care now."

"You know a lot about what Snape thinks." Sirius frowned.

"I've known Severus since we were children. Of course I know." Lily's voice sharpened to a snap. "I used to watch him hide in bushes, so people wouldn't sneer and spit at him for being a 'Spinner's End brat'. I watched him when he started wearing coats in the most horrid hot weather, just so no one could see how patched and frayed his clothes were. I saw how angry he got when my sister mocked him for being poor and wearing hand-me-downs that didn't fit and looked horrible on him. And, I've listened to him rant about it when you bullied him, or when the others let it happen instead of helping, when the teachers looked the other way. Of course I know how he feels and thinks."

"All right, all right. Keep your shirt on." Sirius held up his hands in surrender. "I was just surprised. I'm not used to...to understanding this stuff." He made a face. "I'm not even used to trying to understand what goes on in Snape's head. I didn't mean anything by it."

"So...what should we do?" James posed the question, then paused. "I guess it's more of, what should Remus do? He's the one who's been writing Snape after all."

"Give him a few days to calm down. He'll focus on something else until he can think clearly, and then he'll decide what to do." Lily spoke decisively. "I'll see if he'll talk to me, but he might not."

"And if he doesn't respond?"

"Try again. But be cautious." Lily shrugged. "Severus is...hard to predict sometimes. But right now he's probably upset and confused and very defensive."

"We'll follow your advice then." Remus agreed. He had a plan already forming in his head. He'd wait until just before the full moon, about a week away. If Severus hadn't responded by then, he'd send an apology with the books he'd suggested James and Peter ship during the full moon. That would give Snape the time of his recovery to decide his next plan of action.

"Well, if we've got that sorted…homework?" James pulled out his Potions assignment and scowled at it. "I need to get a good N.E.W.T grade to be an Auror, and this stuff is...I don't even understand half the terms."

"Let me see." Remus dug for his own assignment, and together they, bent over their homework, letting the familiarity of classwork push other concerns to the backs of their minds.

Author's Note: Well, they knew it wouldn't be easy...