The last thing Stefan remembered before falling asleep was bending brokenly over his bed as Damon wailed on the most tender part of his bottom. He'd spent a good portion of his morning glaring at the thing Damon has used to wail on him. It was hanging in his closet, a constant reminder, taunting him. The desire to tear it into pieces was strong. However, he knew that doing so would likely only end up with him getting it from Damon again. It wasn't like it would be hard to replace the strap. And, knowing Damon, it would be replaced with something that would hurt even more.

He still might have done it just for the second of satisfaction it would give him if he wasn't in so much pain.

Stefan was used to hurting. He spent the majority of the 1930s chained up and in pain as Lexi forced the ripper down and his humanity back. But there was a large difference between the feeling of a hot poker sticks being shoved in his stomach and a sore bottom. The former was him paying for his adult mistakes and the latter was him as a teenager being punished by his guardian.

Granted, Lexi had also spanked him. Her hand was just as heavy as Damon's. Her opinion on Stefan risking his life mirrored Damon's. But the pain of her spankings ended when her hand or special hairbrush stopped falling. The welts would fade, bruises would heal, and his skin would be cool to the touch by the time she was done comforting him.

This time the skin of his backside was simply a big bruise with the undercurve being covered in ugly red welts. His punishment was the day before, but his skin was as hot as it was when it was freshly spanked. And Stefan was very familiar that heat since he couldn't stop himself from rubbing it. He felt like a little kid. Fighting down the insane urge to go to his big brother in hopes for a hug and forgiveness was also more difficult than it should have been considering it was Damon's fault he was in pain.

There might be a way to overcome Damon's command over his body, but he'd never learned how fight or even use the more insidious aspects of vampirism. Stefan knew it would be a bad idea to start trying to. The ripper was still inside of him. He'd need as few mental defenses as possible during his next round of detox. He was only a few weeks from his last relapse and Stefan feared it was only a matter of time before he gave into his weaknesses again. He knew, in his bones, that the next time he fell off the wagon, there would be piles of dead bodies in his wake.

He would normally be writing down these thoughts in his diary, but he found it difficult to focus. His backside throbbed too much. On the bright side, that made it harder for him to spiral down in depressive thoughts. It wasn't much of comfort. He'd hated suffering through the lingering pain of a smacked bottom as a human and he hated even more as a vampire.

If he ever wanted to sit comfortably again, he'd need to stay in Damon's good graces. Until then, all he could do was lie on his front, rub over the seat of his soft sweatpants, and try not to cry. Damon said he'd want to cry. So that's what Stefan was doing. Trying not to cry.

Stefan's thoughts were interrupted by Damon waltzing in his room. For such an everyday occurrence, Stefan saw no reason to get off his stomach to face him.

"Feeling okay, little brother?" Damon asked.

Stefan kept his response to himself.

He could feel Damon sitting down on the bed next to him. "You only have yourself to blame for this," Damon tutted as he gently patted Stefan's upturned buttocks.

Stefan gritted his teeth through the fresh burst of pain as he stared at his headboard.

Damon sighed loudly. "And here I was, planning to give you updates about Elena's latest vampire stalker."

So much for ignoring his brother. Stefan turned to his side and it took a lot of will power not to let tears fall at the rush of fresh pain that emitted. "I'm listening."

Damon's smile reminded Stefan of how it felt to be cut by a knife. "Dead and a snack for squirrel families you've been terrorizing."

"And Elena?" Stefan pressed.

"Fine," he said, "missing her boy toy." His look was lewd as he continued, "She'll be over this afternoon for a study date."

At least he had something to look forward during what would otherwise be a completely miserable day.

"Speaking of which," Stefan tensed at his brother's tone, "We never got to discuss what your teachers had to say during parent-teacher night on Friday." Stefan's eyes widened in horror as Damon picked up a familiar looking ruler he'd been hiding behind his back. Oak. Handmade. Instead of ink, the number were marked with deep carvings. Stefan could clearly remember how those indented marks bit against unprotected skin.

Stefan's eyes darted between the ruler and his brother's stern face. "How?"

"Got an invite in the mail," Damon said, "carpooled with Liz and Carol. FYI, Caroline's top of her class and Tyler's go the C average he needs to stay on the football team."

"That's not what I meant," Stefan said weakly.

Damon tapped the ruler against his palm. "Alaric was the only one who had good things to say about your grades. The Salvatore name and your prowess," Damon's laughter wasn't amused, "on the football field has made most teachers turn the other eye on you failing most of your classes." Stefan eyed the ruler and swallowed. The handful of times he'd misbehaved or gotten a poor mark in school had resulted heart-to-heart with the sturdy strip of wood his brother was caressing with his thumb.

"I already knew you were skipping classes from time to time," the look in Damon's cool blue eyes made Stefan's bottom twitch. "And, apparently, we'll need to continue our little talk about PDA." Stefan would have backed away, but he remembered what he'd learned the morning before: Damon says he gets a spanking and Stefan gets a spanking. "I had to endure a long lecture about teenage sexuality from your art teacher with Jenna. He's a huge dick. I almost blew our cover by eating him in front of her."

Stefan licked his lips.

"We're going to get to the bottom of this," Damon stood up and began walking over to Stefan's desk. He took out the chair and turned it around. The sound of him dropping the ruler on top of Stefan's desk echoed loudly in the room. He sat down and crooked his finger before patting his knee.

Stefan narrowed his eyes and ignored the warning his butt sent him. "Since when do you care about school?"

"Since when do I let you stall?" Damon shot back. "Get over here. Now."

There was nothing to do but slide off the bed and walk over to his brother. Stefan stared at the ground and folded his hands behind his back. Damon tugged down his pants and Stefan could hear his smirk at the lack of underwear. Smoothly, he was draped over Damon's familiar knee.

"Our little chats always go more smoothly like this." Damon cupped one of Stefan's throbbing cheeks. "Let's start with your manners."

"I was just asking!" Stefan said. That excuse got him a smart swat. Tears burned behind Stefan's eyes.

"Tone," Damon said as he spanked down one of his cheeks, "and I'd drop my whine if I were you."

As Damon punished up his other cheek, tears started slipping down Stefan's face. "I'm really sorry, sir."

"Look at that," Damon said, sounding like a proud father, "fastest you went from sassy to sorry yet." Damon kept up his rhythm with steady smacks down one cheek to upper thigh and then back up to the very top of its twin. "We'll see if this lasts when you can sit down again."

Stefan wished Damon was sitting on the bed instead of a chair so he could muffle his tears with a blanket or pillow. "I'm really trying, Damon."

"I know," Damon said. The soft tone of his voice was a small balm to the hardness of his hand.

If Stefan's bottom wasn't already so sore and getting new stinging swats on it every second, he would have pointed out he'd been perfectly polite during two of the four spankings. All in all, he only made three rounds of smacks before he stopped. He rubbed Stefan's back for a few minutes while Stefan got his sniffling under control.

"The next part is on me," Stefan felt hope rise in his chest, "as I clearly didn't spank you hard enough yesterday for trying to get away." Tension rose in Stefan's back as he felt Damon raise his arm again. "Stalling isn't any different than scooting away." He started to make his point with a series of blistering blows and Stefan couldn't breathe they hurt so much. "When I tell you to come over for a spanking," Damon's hand fell so fast and hard that Stefan could hardly hear the lecture, "You. Will. Come. Over. To. Me."

The fact that this part of the spanking wasn't particularly long didn't mean anything good for Stefan's rear. Damon never had patience for Stefan doing something he'd already been spanked for. The quick set of blows were his idea of a gentle reminder. If they needed to go over it again, Stefan would pay.

Damon was taking his time in readjusting Stefan's attitude. Stefan wasn't sure why but he sure as hell wasn't going to question it. As much as he disliked the warmups that accompanied half his spanking so far, he knew they were preferable Damon nipping it in the bud right away.

Again, Damon waited until Stefan's tears had stopped flowing before speaking again, "I'm sure you have something to say about that."

"Sir," Stefan kept his voice soft and even, "you said I could argue with you if I was polite about it. What if I don't deserve a spanking?"

"Then you can plead innocent over my knee," Damon said.

That would mean Stefan would have to make his case while draped over his big brother's lap with an upturned bottom. "If I didn't do anything wrong, that's not fair."

"Last time I used this ruler on you, it was because you cut class that day. I'd just dropped out of university and you pointing that out earned you a few more minutes on my knee," Damon said fondly. "I've never been fair. You should be used to that."

That was different. Damon kept Stefan walking a very narrow line to protect him from their father. Stefan had a strict older brother to answer to, but Damon answered to a violently abusive father. He knew, even in the times he'd whine about hypocrisy in exchange for a longer spanking, that he was getting a far better deal out of that bargain.

Damon lifted his leg to raise up Stefan's hips. The undercurve of Stefan's buttocks became a prime target for his big brother's ire. Said brother tapped the ruler gently against it. "We'll start the main event by going over our cover story. We need to make sure the big bad vampire hating council doesn't find out our dirty little secret, baby brother."

Stefan had been under the impression that he had a cover story and Damon had a cover story. Apparently, they now had a shared one that Damon had failed to inform Stefan of. Damon hadn't bothered to tell Stefan about it until now. In a place and time Stefan could expect to be struck if his response was anything other than polite acceptance. It was so familiarly Damon. Stefan's heart ached.

"Our parents died in a tragic car accident when you were ten," Damon said. That's when Lily died so it would be easy enough to remember that. Easier to fake. Stefan would have said so if he wasn't miffed about the ruler Damon was tapping on his undercurve. "We were born here, but our father kept us abroad at boarding schools and our parents didn't care much for the many ridiculous town functions," Damon said, "and opted to keep us out of them." Stefan smiled at the anguish in Damon's voice, "If only we could do the same. Alas, we can't bribe the council away because I'm technically leading it."

Curious, Stefan asked, "When did that happen?"

"Carol insisted to Mayor Dick step down as the leader of the council after I showed them a couple of dozen dead tomb vampires I killed on my own," Damon said. "Well, okay, I did have help. Pearl and Ric have joined. The new leader liked their hutzpah." Damon sounded much too proud of himself for Stefan's own good.

At least Pearl being there meant there was one person on the council not wrapped around his finger. Stefan knew it was a good idea to keep letting the town think Damon was a hero but hearing everyone sing Damon's praises was a little nauseating. Caroline's weekly rants about her mom gushing about Damon was about the only thing that kept Stefan sane in that regard.

Even Alaric, whose wife Damon killed, found himself swaying under Damon's charm. And Stefan would eat a hat if Damon had even bothered to apologize to him.

"Now that John is dead," Annabelle feeding Elena's uncle to Pearl was not as traumatizing as it probably should have been. Jenna mourned him by getting high, Jeremy was regularly making out with his murderer, and Elena had just said good when Stefan broached the subject. Stefan had pages in his diary trying to dissect Gilbert Tragedy Number Eighty. "The only thing that's putting a kink in my full proof plan to protect us is you."

Stefan almost fell off Damon's lap. "What."

"My sixteen-year-old little brother using his name and football player status to get out of doing school work, cutting half of his classes, and spending most of his nights corrupting the innocent girl next door instead of in his own bed." Stefan's butt clenched in anticipation of swats that never came.

There was only one thing Stefan could process at first. "I'm seventeen."

"I saw that error in your files and cleared it up with the school administration," Damon reassured him. Either he was trying to make it easier to stay in Mystic Falls longer or jerking around with Stefan's life for fun. Probably both. Stefan decided to just be grateful Damon wasn't actively sabotaging his desire for a half-way normal life.

"My upstanding image is being questioned when I let my little brother run wild with no consequences."

"You're the main reason I had to cut so many classes," Stefan said, "sir."

"Tone," Damon warned, "I'm only letting you get away with it once because that one is technically on me. It won't happen again."

Stefan figured that was as close to an apology he'd get for the month of torture Damon inflicted in his Saving Katherine/Making Stefan Miserable For Kicks Because This Town Is Boring And I Need Entertainment plan.

"I'm not going to spank you post hoc for playing hooky," Damon said, "but you're going to attend class or come up with an airtight reason not to go. I'll deal with the supernatural drama during school hours." Damon paused, then, "Correction. I'll always deal with it. You stay home and do your homework and pretend to keep things PG-13 with Elena."

"I just want to remind you that I'm actually a vampire," Stefan said. He was very polite about it.

Damon ignored him. "You've been to high school a thousand times. I expect you to get straight As. You can do it in your sleep." The ruler was raised, and Stefan's undercurve was punished with it. "You're lucky I'm a quick thinker. Told your teachers a sob story about how I got caught up in a whirlwind romance and sent you off with your permissive Uncle Zack. I felt bad, so I've been letting you slide." If only Damon would spank any other part of Stefan's buttocks besides the most sensitive part. "But I've been convinced by several of your teachers to take you in hand and put a stop to it."

Stefan's eyes were burning as Damon wielded his chosen weapon with efficiency befitting of any other angry parent. He was corrected as sharply as any other disobedient child. More so because Damon was putting some supernatural strength behind his swing. Stefan was never going to let his homework go unfinished for the rest of his life.

"Your final report card for the quarter is due in a month. Anything other than an A gets you right back here just like this, only longer and harder." Damon continued to make his point by smashing his ruler down again and again. Damon could only hit so hard before the ruler broke. But Stefan was still feeling the effects of his recent strapping and the twist of Damon's wrist stung. "More than one of your teachers brought up your mouth. I'm giving you time to relearn how to act around me, but I expect you to so well behaved at school that the kids on the dean's list will want to bully you."

The next declaration was more wicked than his swing. "Your precalculus teacher is worried about you. She knows you're a good kid and is concerned about your home life. I'd rather not watch your depressive symptoms get worse when it hits you that you've been wasting your teachers' time and energy."

Damon had designated the area just underneath where Stefan's back was all the way down to Stefan's knees as the space where he enforced his rules. And now, after Stefan's undercurve had been thoroughly chastised, he was methodically covering every inch of that designated place with the ruler. He still made sure to hit the flesh just above his legs as hard an often as the rest of his backside. And Stefan knew he deserved each blow that landed. Damon had spared most of Stefan's thighs the day before, but he wasn't now. And Stefan was grateful for the way the ruler cut into his skin and left its impact. He was going to feel the correction on his legs for weeks. He was paying for his crimes. It wasn't enough.

Stefan's eyes were wet, and his shoulders were shaking when Damon stopped punishing his deserving target. "Your coach wasn't happy about it, but I told him to keep you on the bench for two months. You'll still go to practice but watch from the sidelines. The only reason I'm even letting you stay on the team is because I think Caroline would find a way to strangle me in my sleep if I told you to quit and I happen to enjoy my unlife too much for that."

"Thank you," Stefan said. His voice was hoarse.

Damon squeezed the back of his neck briefly. "You need do better at school to keep Elena. I don't want to ban sleepovers. But I will. And don't get caught fooling around with her at school." He smacked Stefan with the flat of his hand a few times. "You can start by not playing footsie with her in your drawing class." He added to the sting, fingers digging into the fleshiest part of Stefan's buttocks, and muttered to himself, "Your teenage hormones will be the death of me."

Stefan nodded.

"If I keep you from Elena and she castrates me, I don't care if it'll grow back. You will be one sorry little boy."

"It won't come to that," Stefan said, "I promise."

Damon cupped his cheek again. "Got any thoughts for the class, Stefan?"

"Your cover story is good," Stefan said.

"I know."

Stefan ignored his smug tone. "I can raise my grades, but I don't think I can get them up to A's in one month."

Damon swatted him playfully. It hurt. "Then we'll have another delightful conversation about it."

Stefan had nothing to say to that wouldn't get a smack, so he said nothing at all. Damon guided him back onto his feet and pulled his pants back up. Stefan eyes watered as the fabric brushed over his skin. Stefan studied the floor as he tried not to rub his eyes or ass.

He could hear Damon tapping his hand with the ruler. The sound made him swallow. "I was going to keep this with me." Stefan's eyes darted up as Damon dropped the ruler in the container where Stefan kept his pens. "But I changed my mind. Consider it an incentive to come up with a way to fix your grades. Or I'll spank you again." He shrugged. "Either way works for me."

"Yes, sir," Stefan gaze was back on the ground.

"Cheer up, bro," Damon patted his shoulder, "get some homework done before Elena comes over."

"I want you to tell me what's going on," Elena said.

Stefan looked up from his math homework. Elena was hair was up in a tight ponytail and her eyeliner was particularly sharp. She's walked briskly into his room and went straight to the bed. And now her arms were folded, and her eyes were narrowed.

Stefan was officially out of time.

He still needed to stall until he could figure out a way to phrase what Damon was doing that she would accept. Or understand. Okay, the best he could hope for was tolerate. "It's a long story."

"And we've got all afternoon," Elena said.

Stefan rolled the pencil he was holding between his fingers. "It's complicated."

"Uh-huh," Elena said, "last I checked, we've been doing complicated since the beginning."

"Even for us," Stefan said, "this is going to be. Um. A little beyond the normal?"

Elena pressed her lips together. "You told me you'd be honest with me." Stefan started to protest, but Elena held up her hand. "And yesterday, when a vampire was trying to kill me, you didn't bother to show up. Or call. Or text me."

Stefan ignored how much it hurt to move. He stood up and cupped her face. "I'm sorry for letting you down."

Elena set her hands on him and wrapped her fingers around his arms. "I don't want you to feel guilty about that. I had your self-serving psychotic vampire brother to keep me safe, remember?" She stood on her toes to land a kiss on his lips. "The only time you avoid me is when something bad is happening. Whatever it is, I can handle it."

"It's not like that," Stefan said.

"Are you back on human blood?" Elena said. He was. Sort of. And she could read it on his face. She took a deep breath and nodded to herself. "Okay, then. We'll get you off it again."

"Damon's not going to like that," Stefan muttered.

Elena snorted. "Then he can rot. We just watched you go through hell and back. I don't care what he thinks about your choice to feed on animals."

"He's helping me," Stefan said.

"He's hurting you," Elena said, "you've been stuck your head for weeks. You hardly say a word to anyone these days. I was trying to give you space and let me in on your own time, but things are getting worse. I can't just stand by and let you sink."

"I - "

"Stefan," Elena grabbed his hips. "Two weeks ago, you nearly killed yourself. I'm not going to watch you do that again." She shoved him on his bed, scattering Stefan's textbooks and notebooks into the ground.

Stefan had no way to answer her. Sitting down after being punished with leather or wood made him want to cry. Hearing Elena bring up how he'd almost ended everything made him want to cry. Worrying her made him want to cry. Everything hurt and -

"What is he doing to you?" Elena wiped a stray tear under his eye with her thumb.

Nothing would be a lie and he didn't want to lie to her. But. "It's not bad."

"I will be the judge of that," Elena said. She marched out of his room and down the hallway. She started opening every door on the second floor of the boarding house.

Alarmed, Stefan followed her, "What are you doing?"

"Finding where your brother is hiding," Elena told him. Her voice got a lot louder as she jerked open one door after another. "Damon Salvatore! If you don't show your face right this instant, I'm going to help Bonnie kill you with her new vampire killing spell - "

Damon was right in front of her.

Elena didn't miss a beat. "Tell me what's you're doing to your brother."

Stefan gave a dirty look at the smile he gave Elena. Damon ignored him. "You're going to be way more specific than that."

"I know you were eavesdropping on us," Elena folded her arms, "spill."

"I would never," Damon lied through his teeth.

"You do it all the time," Elena said. Stefan was about eighty percent sure she was going to slap him, and he was a hundred percent sure he'd enjoy it.

Damon was clearly enjoying her frustration. He leaned against a wall. "If Stefan doesn't want to tell you about the intricacies of our doomed brotherhood, maybe we should respect that."

Elena clenched her teeth and moved in closer to him. "You're one to talk. I know you read his diary on a regular basis."

"She has me there," Damon said. He winked at Stefan. "So, let me rephrase that. You should respect his privacy."

"He's in pain," Elena snapped, "and if you think I'm just going to sit around and let you hurt him then I will help Bonnie perfect that vampire killing spell she's been struggling with."

"Good to know you were bluffing with the first threat," Damon said.

"I was giving you a chance to do the right thing," Elena said between gritted teeth, "so prove to me that you're actually changing by telling me what's going on."

Damon waved a finger in her face. Elena looked like she was going to bite it off. Stefan would have let her, too. "All I'm doing, Elena," he said her name in a way that was a little too friendly in the wrong way for Stefan's liking, "is giving my baby brother a firm hand. Teenagers need boundaries and rules, after all."

"He's in pain!"

Damon began to walk to his room, which was at the other end of the hallway. Elena followed him and Stefan followed her. "The way you're talking, you'd think I was murdering him in his sleep."

"Maybe you are," Elena said. She was completely focused on him and didn't seem to realize she was in his bedroom for the first time.

Stefan knew there was a good chance Damon was leading her into some sort of trap. It was time to step in. He placed himself between the two of them and gave her smile. "Maybe the three of us can talk this over with some coffee?"

"No!" Elena said.

"All this drama," Damon rolled his eye up at the ceiling, "over a little butt warming."

Stefan could see Elena's brain shortening out. He pulled her into a hug and kissed at her tightly pulled hair.

She gathered her bearings quickly enough. "What."

"A spanking," Damon made an exaggerated show of demonstrating the technique Stefan was intimately familiar with. Except, instead of skin, his hand struck air.

"I know what you mean," Elena said. She was grinding her teeth again. Stefan stroked her shoulders in a failed attempt get her to relax. "I meant why. And why isn't he healing?"

"Then you should have been clearer," Damon said.

"Do you have to antagonize her?" Stefan asked. It was a probably a pointless endeavor to bother asking, but he had to at least try.

"I'm sorry," Damon said, unapologetically. Elena glared at him. "I wasn't aware that I needed to explain my parenting choices to a child."

"Stefan doesn't need a parent!" Elena said. "And if you really thought I was a child you wouldn't flirt with me."

"By all appearances and official documentations, my brother is sixteen-years-old and I'm his legal guardian," Damon said, "with full parental rights to discipline him."

There was so much to unpack with that statement and not enough time before Elena found a pencil to stab Damon with. Stefan held her a little more closely. "Elena was born in a different century than us, Damon. She's not going to just - "

"Please," Damon said, waving Stefan off, "she was raised in a small town in the deep south. I'll bet you any amount of money that her parents didn't spare the rod."

Stefan looked down at Elena. From the expression on her face, it was clear Damon had hit paydirt. She narrowed her eyes at him after recovering from the verbal blow. "This isn't about me."

"Could have fooled me," Damon said. His jovial tone was giving way to something more serious. Edging on dangerous. At least for Stefan's ass, anyway. "You're the one yelling and shouting. In my home, by the way. About how I care for my baby brother."

"Care for him?" Elena snorted. She pulled away to stand in front of Stefan in a protective manner. "You've spent over a century making it half your life mission to make him miserable."

Stefan stood in front of her. Damon was unlikely to hurt her, but his brother could be unpredictably dangerous when he felt cornered. Unpredictably, Damon sat down on his bed and took a deep breath before locking his eyes on hers and spreading out his arms in a peace. "Elena, do you want Stefan to go on another bender?"

"Of course not," Elena said. She stood in front of Stefan again and set her hand on his arm to keep him behind her.

"Then this is what I have to do," Damon said, "the only reliable method that's kept his worst instinct's in check is when he has someone to answer to. Someone who can give him consequences. Painful ones." His eyes turned to Stefan. "I'm going to give him what he needs, and I don't care what you think."

Elena turned around. "Is he telling the truth?"

"Yes," Stefan said. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "He's actually underselling himself. I'm drinking a little bit of human blood every day to build my tolerance. He's helping me with control." He tilted his head to give his brother a considering look. "Even if he's being a little archaic about it, he really is helping me."

Elena looked almost convinced. "Then why did you hide it from me?"

"Why did I hide the fact that my brother is spanking me like a child from my girlfriend?" Stefan asked, "I have no earthly idea."

She pecked him on the lips with a big smile on her face. "Keep me updated on it, okay?" He knew, from the way she was studying him, she'd also have more questions for him when they were alone. Stefan nodded. She crossed the room and stood in front of Damon. "You said you're not torturing him, but he was nearly in tears when I pushed him on the bed."

"You're the one on top then?" Damon said and tossed Stefan rather large grin, "never would have guessed."

"That's none of your business," Elena said, "talk before I get really grouchy."

"The reason why a spanking works," Damon said, his tone indicating that he was trying to explain a simple concept to a dim toddler, "is because it hurts. For days if you do it right. I just needed to use a little vampire mojo to make sure Stefan remembers to behave himself every time he sits down after I punish him."

"You're enjoying this," Elena accused him.

Damon didn't deny it. "Except when he risks his life. I don't actually like watching my little brother get hurt by anyone who isn't me."

"I'm very touched," Stefan said.

"Speaking of which," Damon said. He moved faster than even Stefan eyes could follow. He had Elena on his knee. "Next time you decide to do something stupid like, say, sneak into a house of angry vampires, you can expect this."

"Damon!" Stefan rushed over to him as Elena began to struggle.

"Let me go!" Elena wiggled her hips. Damon wrapped an arm around her waist. When she started to kick, he pinned her legs between his. Then he grabbed her wrists and held them against her back with his spare arm.

"Let her go," Stefan said.

He did. Elena actually had a pencil in her pocket. As Damon was grinning at her, she pulled it out and shoved it into his left eye. Then she slapped him.

"Thanks for the help, Stefan," Damon said as he pulled the pencil out and tossed it in the trash can beside his dresser.

Stefan shrugged as Elena stormed over to the dresser. She opened a drawer and began to rummage around, tossing boxers and t-shirts over her shoulder. "You had it coming."

"What are you doing?" Damon asked. He was truly distressed and trying to catch some of the tossed clothing. "I just ironed those!"

"I'm looking for a stake," Elena said with calmness belying her frantic searching, "so I can murder you."

"He keeps them the closet," Stefan said. "Although I'd really like you not to kill my brother."

Elena dashed over to the closet and began to pull off some of the nicer shirts Damon owned and tossed those behind her head to.

"I'm not hiding them in - oh, come on Elena. That's a limited-edition Gucci! Now I'm going to have to compel a celebrity to give me theirs. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to get past their guards? You've wasted and entire day I could have spent doing something productive."

"Drinking booze isn't productive," Stefan said. He leaned back against the wall and grinned as Elena tore apart his brother's immaculate room.

"Spanking you is," Damon shot back.

Stefan knew a threat when he heard one, but it was hard to care while Elena enacted her own form of corporal punishment. She took vindictive glee in tearing off all the clothes from their hangers. She tore some of the cloth. Stefan and Damon both had to dunk once or twice when she tossed some hangers around too. When she was done destroying Damon's wardrobe, she dropped to the ground and fiddled around until she found the loose floorboard. She grabbed a stake and stalked over to Damon like a hungry housecat about to eat an unlucky rat.

Damon didn't bother to dodge when she stabbed his shoulder. She wasn't strong enough to get through bone, but she pierced through enough skin to make him bleed on his Armani t-shirt.

Stefan crossed one foot in front of the other and leaned even more comfortably against the wall. "Don't think there's a dry cleaner that can fix that." If Damon wasn't so distressed at the state of his room, Stefan had a feeling he'd get at least few swats for that remark. As it was, he was pretty sure his backside was relatively safe. And he wasn't going to pass up a chance to give him lip without fear of retribution.

"Are you done with your tantrum?" Damon asked Elena after an appropriate mourning period had passed.

Elena plopped down on his bed. "For now. But only if you promise never to do that again."

"If you risk your life again, I'm going to make sure you can't sit down for a month," Damon said.

Stefan sighed and knelt next to his brother. "You can't spank her, Damon."

"The hell I can't," Damon said. "And if she wasn't such a cute brat, I'd bend her over my knee right now for this stunt."

"Look," Stefan said before Elena could retort. "The tomb vampires are dead. The vampire stalking Elena is dead. It's possible we're past the dangerous stuff. It may never come up again and we can forget about it."

"No," Damon said, "she's a little human girl who needs her little bottom tanned when she careless and reckless."

This time, he was the one stalking Elena. Her eyes widened and she tried to back away, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her forward. He bent her over and began to punish her well-presented bottom with steady blows. She yelped each time his hand crashed against her seat and squirmed in a vain attempt to avoid Damon's palm. He smacked her three times before Stefan was able to blur over to him and grab his arm.

"You wanna be next?" Damon asked.

"If it means you'll stop, yes," Stefan said.

"You're already on thin ice," Damon said. The look he was gave Stefan froze him on the spot.

Damon shoved him away and struck her two more times. He aimed for the top of her legs. During the first part of her punishment, his hand was vertical and focused on warming up the rounded part of her butt. This time, he hit her with a horizontal palm so that he could make sure her sit spots got a taste of his frustration along with her upper thighs.

He jerked her around and set his hands on her shoulders and pulled her forward so there was no space between their bodies. Her eyeliner was ruined because of her tears. With no avail, she tried to get out of his grip. Her heart was pumping hard and her entire body was shaking in effort to catch her breath. "That's for your stunt with the tomb vampires. You do something like that again and I'll give you something to really cry about."

Elena spat in his face.

"Let's try again, little girl. I want you to say, 'yes, sir, I understand.'"

"Fuck you," Elena said.

Damon hit the top of her left thigh. "If you don't shape up, I'm going to give Stefan that spanking he's been asking for. And he'll only be getting it because you decided to fight me on this. I will rip off your little necklace and compel you to stand still and watch me whip him with the belt you're wearing right now until you cooperate."

Elena looked over to where Stefan was standing. Stefan couldn't seem to make his body move. She turned back to Damon, although her gaze was directed at the ground. "Yes, sir," she said. Her voice was cracking, and her shoulders were slumped. "I understand."

Damon eased his hold on her. "I'm just trying to keep you alive, Elena."

Elena was blinking rapidly. "Just let me go."

"Elena."

"Please, Damon."

Damon let her go.

Then, Stefan had to endure the worst part of an already shitty day. She pulled Stefan into her arms and held him tightly. Stefan closed his eyes tightly as she buried her face in his chest. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm the one who sorry," Stefan said.

Elena dropped her arms. "I need some air." She kissed at his chin. "I'll talk to you later."

Stefan watched her go. Then he turned around and looked at his brother. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to get back to my homework."

"Stef," Damon started.

"I need to finish it as part of your plan," Stefan said. It was strange how clam he felt, considering he'd never been more furious in his entire life. "I'll be in my room if you want to exercise your parental rights some more."