When writers block happens, change of pace, I say! Welcome Elijah and Katherine to my self-indulgent mess.

This version is edited. Go to ao3 under the same username if you want to read the more explicate version where Katherine and Elijah have sex on a table after he ties her up with his clothes.

I remember at least one reviewer asking about Damon getting a spanking. I do have at least one planned out for him, but it'll be a ways away. I don't, as a general rule, find Damon an interesting spankee. I am open to different pairings, but you're more likely to get something if there's a scenario you want in particular. The only real stipulations I have is that no one spanks vampire Elijah and Stefan gets to spank no one. This hierarchy is very important to me.

Other notes to reviews: Lexi's brush is not forgotten, Stefan and Damon will get some cuddle time in bed after a spanking in the future. It'll just take some time. This chapter was supposed to be a Damon+Elena chapter with her spending quite a bit of the chapter on his knee after she's reckless. And it's mostly written, I'm just trying to get it all to flow together better. Until then, have some detours with the Originals.

Edit 7/5: I had a shit ton of typos that I fixed.

I can tell you about Rebekah's last days.

Yours,
KP.

College ruled paper. Ripped in half. The gel ink blue was so dark it would undoubtedly look black to the human's eye. The glitter adjoining lettering was a touch he didn't know how to interpret. Yet. He folded the letter in half and slid it into his jacket pocket. "Either Katerina has something over you or have a death wish."

"Little column a," Lucy Bennett said, grinning. She tapped her index finger against table. "My family has a long history with yours and I've been curious about yours since Aunt Shelia mentioned the original family in a extremely drunken night out." She looked up at him from underneath long, thick eyelashes. "Mostly, I wanted to know about the only trustworthy vampire in existence, the noble Elijah."

"You have my complete attention," Elijah eyed the setting sun, "for approximately three hours before your spell wears off."

"Less than that," Lucy said, "I'm going to make myself scarce long before you can get out of that chair."

"Pity," Elijah said, "any witch that could trap me, even for a few hours, is one I could potentially find useful enough so spare."

To Elijah's surprise, Lucy laughed. "I don't know why I ever bother to doubt Katherine's intel. You really do want to kill him, don't you?" she shook her head, "my aunt said your one weakness was your endless loyalty to Klaus."

Elijah's limited range of movement meant he could not knock off her head, as much as he suddenly wanted to. And his impulse control had slipped enough since the loss Rebekah that he might well have done so, too.

"But," Elijah set aside his frustration. Lucy was pulling something out of her bag. A leather bound diary. When she opened it up, he could tell it was old. It wasn't hard to tell the difference between manufactured aging and the real deal if you knew what to look for. "If Katherine can get you on her side, I'm willing to work with you."

He watched her cut her own hand and coat it with the spilled blood. She muttered a few words Elijah recognized as she pressed her palm on the first page of the diary.

"Who do you want me to protect?" Elijah asked as she healed her wound.

"Her name is Bonnie," Lucy said. She slid the diary across the table. Elijah caught it. "And she's going to need to learn your mother's magic on top of needing your protection."

Elijah couldn't help but think of Kol. He might just raise himself from the bottom of the ocean from pure, adolescent rage. Elijah had tricked one of Kol's first witches into creating a dark object of his own design: a leather strap red as Kol's blood. Elijah used it on him whenever his eyes wandered to the Bennett family. And when Elijah finally let Kol off his knee, he'd stay away from them for at least a decade.

"In Chicago there's a bar owned by a witch named Gloria," Elijah was torn from his thoughts by Lucy's offer, "that's where you'll find Katherine."

Katerina was lying on the bar. She was wearing a tight black dress that showed off her legs and cleavage. Her curly hair fell down her shoulders like a waterfall. In her delicate hand was a glass of vodka in a wine glass. Her lips were very red. She sat up, her red lips breaking into a smile. "Hello, Elijah Mikaelson."

Very slightly, Elijah shifted to his right. "I haven't used that name in a long time, Katerina Petrova."

"We have a lot in common," she said. She finished the last of her drink. "I killed the last vampire who called me that."

"I'd like to see you try that with me," Elijah said.

"I like my name in your mouth too much for that." It was absurd how badly Elijah wanted to tear out her throat and rip of her dress at the same time. He used to be foolish enough to think he'd outgrown such foolish animal instincts. But here she was, the magnificent Katherine Pierce, proving him wrong once again.

He watched her watch him take off his left cufflink. Her breath caught when he took off his right one. He slid them in his jacket pocket, right on top of her note. "I'm insulted you aren't terrified." He took on step toward her, then another, "I hope you recall how little I enjoy practical jokes."

Katerina heart skipped a beat. But there wasn't a trace of fear in her voice as she held out her wine glass. "I know Gloria made you promise not to damage anything." She let the glass slip from her hand.

Elijah rushed over and caught it. He leaned forward and pressed his lips a hair away from he ear, "I can kill you without spilling a drop of your blood." He took hold of her hair and carefully pushed it behind her ear. "No one would every know we were here when I'm done with you."

Katerina's shiver was both from fear and arousal. She wrapped her hand around his wrist. He could tell she'd bite him if she thought she could get away with it. "But I have something you want."

"You don't," Elijah pulled back, "I thought perhaps you might. But I already know that Rebekah spent her last days here in the 1920s." He turned around. "It's only out of respect for my sister that I'm going to allow you to live, just this once. I suggest you make yourself scarce before - "

"You always did underestimate me." Katerina was suddenly in front of him holding a picture. It was of Klaus embracing a man Elijah had never seen before. "I've been tracking Klaus for over a hundred years." He took the picture and studied his brother's face. The smile on his face was small, shy, and real. Niklaus. "And I was here, with both of them, during her last days."

"You wouldn't willingly be within a hundred miles of Klaus." Elijah grabbed both her wrists with his spare hand and pulled her up on her toes. "What game are you playing?"

"Rebekah found me," Katerina said, "she wanted me to find you before you father killed you."

Elijah's grip tightened. "And after you declined, you fled."

"That would have been the smart move," Katerina acknowledged, "but I wasn't going to leave Stefan to fall into your brother's web completely alone."

Stefan Salvatore. The last man Rebekah fell in love with. Elijah let Katerina go and looked back at the picture. The man next to his brother must be Stefan. More of a boy, really. He must have been sixteen or seventeen when he turned. He could easily see his little sister falling for his baby face.

"And what is Stefan to you?"

"I turned him," Katerina said.

"You've killed half the people you turned," Elijah pointed out.

Katerina met his gaze. "He made me feel human for the first time in centuries."

Elijah met her gaze. "I am not sentimental about our past."

"You should lie more," Katerina moved close to him and her hair danced, "it's sexy."

Elijah let out a slow breath through his nose. He closed his eyes tightly before opening them. "What do you want?"

"Everything." Katerina strutted over to a table and sat down. "But I'm willing to settle for what I want the most." Her brown eyes were sparkling. Elijah suddenly understood the glittery ink. "Let's make a deal."

Elijah sat across from her. He set the picture on the table between the two of them. "I'm listening."

"Nadia," Katerina said in her mother tongue, "she was my little sister that your brother killed her."

"I know," Elijah didn't blink, "I was the one who told Niklaus where to find your family."

"Nadia," Katerina continued as if he hadn't spoken. He'd gotten to her, but he found he didn't take much pleasure in his minor victory. "Nadia was also the name I gave to my daughter."

"Which means," Elijah started.

Katerina finished, "We have a fresh human doppelganger. I'd give you a picture, but I think you'd recognize her on sight." She twirled some of her curls between her fingers. "Quick confession: I almost killed her when I saw what she did with our hair."

"Let me guess," Elijah leaned back and folded one leg on top of the other, "you want to trade her for your freedom."

Katerina leaned forward, "I want to help you kill Klaus. And, as a gesture of good faith, I'll give you another freebie. Guess where she is."

"Katerina," Elijah let a hint of warning show in his tone.

She grabbed his hand and traced the letter 'M' on the inside of his wrist. It was very distracting, which was why it took Elijah a moment to put it together. "Mystic Falls."

"Exactly," Katerina said, "and Lucy was more than happy to help me when I told her her little cousin was my doppelganger's best friend." She picked up the picture and tapped on Stefan. "No prizes if you guess who the newest doppelganger's boyfriend is. There's even more, and I'm willing to give you everything."

Elijah digested this.

"The stars are aligning in our favor," Katerina said, "if we do this right, Klaus' days are numbered."

Elijah plucked the picture out of her hand. "The doppelganger," he said, "what's her name?"

"Elena Gilbert."

"Elena Gilbert." Elijah tested her name in his mouth. He liked the way it felt. "And for what you know about Rebekah. What do you want for that?"

"Simple." Katerina's lips, bloody red, twisted up into sly smile. "Your forgiveness."

Elijah studied her. Katherine Pierce would be a formidable ally in his quest to kill Klaus. Somewhere inside her, Katerina Petrova still existed. He made a decision. "There will be conditions."

Katerina set her elbows on the table and rested her chin between her hands. His palm itched to swat her for such rudeness. He refrained, because he knew that's what she wanted. "I'm listening."

Elijah put the photo back in his pocket, next to the note and cufflinks. He stood up and walked over to her. He guided her onto her feet. "We will not be partners, my Katerina. You would join my household and I would expect your submission."

Katerina laughed. "Do you remember how often I defied you and your brother when I was human? I'm even less agreeable now."

"Rest assured," he took hold of her wrists and closed the distance between them, "I'm very capable of teaching you to obey." He set a hand on the small of her back. His fingers rested against the curve of her behind. "You just need consequences."

Katerina stood on her toes and captured him into a kiss. Between his tongue in her mouth, she gasped, "We have a deal."

True to his word, Elijah did take her to his bed after a short detour into the shower.

"You won't need that," Elijah said as she dug into her bag and pulled out underwear. He grabbed her elbow and guided her over his lap.

"You just want me to be naked," she said.

Her accusation wasn't wrong. But. He cupped her left cheek with his right hand as he pinned her wrists to her back with his left. "You'll be much too sore when I'm done with you."

He dried her off by warming her behind with dozens of quick, sharp stinging slaps on her upturned backside. She'd been bereft of a spanked bottom much too long. He had yet to truly start punishing her, so the sting should be easy to bare. But instead of looking bored and unbothered, her face was scrunching up and she'd yelp when Elijah decided to impress her with a twist of his wrist every now and then. Her skin blushed pink under his gentle guidance. Once he'd brought the heat up to a sufficient level, he paused and took stock of the state of her distress.

She's taken to biting her bottom lip and trying to wiggle away from his palm to no avail. She used to do that when she was human and found herself on the knee of an original. She'd been sweet, with hidden kindness, but was prone to mischief and testing her limits. Well, she was never found herself on Kol's knee. He was too busy enabling her worst traits and playing with her doppelganger blood. The years his family hosted Katerina were among Kol's sorest.

He pushed down those memories and started her punishment. Katerina was slim, but her hips were wide and thighs still covered in baby fat. He had plenty of space to make his point. He spanked her slow, but hard. Each time his hand connected, he made sure to leave behind a bright red handprint behind. He made sure every inch if her buttocks received plenty of discipline. It was very satisfying to watch the pink skin disappear under the red marks.

"Aren't you," Katerina winced as started to Elijah pay special attention to to the back of her thighs, "going to lecture me?"

Elijah found himself smiling as he continued to punish. He added more power behind his smacks. The bright red handprints began to deepen into blotchy patches of scarlet. "I am. I suggest you listen carefully."

He let her kick her legs against the bed. She tried to take advantage of that to cover her behind, but the bruises he put on her calves quickly taught her it was better not to get in Elijah's way. He tanned her soundly, smacking her cheeks down flat again and again. They kept popping back up, so Elijah felt obliged to keep hitting them. It was a lovely conversation.

"I learned my lesson," Katerina said. Her voice was scratchy, she was so close to crying.

Elijah paused. She sniffed. "Have you, Katerina?" He lifted his knee. She whined wordlessly. She clearly remembered this meant Elijah planned to focus on her sit spots. "Because when I put you on my knee, I decide when the lesson is over." He rose his hand, determined to deepen the shade of red coloring the tender bits of skin where her thigh and buttocks met. "I hope for you sake that you haven't forgotten that."

"I didn't forget," Katerina squirmed, but Elijah's hand hit it its mark. He was a practiced spanker with centuries of experience validating the wisdom of his technique. Katerina had spent far too long without the threat of a sore bottom to keep her in line. "I just hoped you did."

He smacked her left cheek and then her right cheek. Then he repeated himself over and over, each time smacking her a fair bit harder than before. There was nothing as effective as consistent and firm hand applied to bared behind at curing bratty behavior. "I suggest you keep your sass in check."

Katerina didn't last long under his determined assault. Her shoulder shook as she started to cry. Elijah wanted to comfort her, but he needed to teach her. So he smacked his palm against the back of her thighs, continuing to add more power each time he struck her anew, until those shaking shoulders slumped.

He set her on her feet. She reached behind with both hands and gingerly rubbed. He allowed her that comfort as he took out a handkerchief and gently wiped away her tears and snot. When she was clean, he ordered, "Get the hairbrush in the top drawer of my desk."

Katerina's eyes watered again. More tears slipped down her face as she shook her head. She was rubbing her freshly spanked skin like the girl she stopped being five hundred years ago. He reminded himself that she needed to understand her place and nothing would teach her that truth save her submitting to the pain only the back of his wooden hairbrush scolding her naked behind could give.

He cupped her face. "Klaus plans to torture you for twice as long as you've been running before he kills you. He's had five hundred years to plan what he's going to do to you. His creativity shocked me, and I am rarely shocked by the depths of his depravity." He brushed his fingers through her hair. "My ability to protect you will be severely limited if I can't trust you to obey me."

"What about after we kill him?" Katerina asked. She was rubbing her thighs now. From her expression, it wasn't dulling the pain by much. She was a well-spanked little girl about to get a second, even harder, spanking and Elijah let his fondness for her rush back in.

"Once you're safe from my vile brother," he pulled her down and pressed his lips against her forehead, "I will be happy to loosen my leash on you."

Katerina sulked, but she walked over to his desk and took out the hairbrush. Her surprise amused him. "You've kept this thing for five hundred years?"

He crooked his finger. She dragged her feet, but she still made her way over to him. He wrapped his fingers around the brush and tugged it carefully from her iron grip. He patted his knee. She pouted, but bent over his lap. After making sure her buttocks were well presented to taste the sizzling scorch of his brush, he pinned her legs and arms. She would not be allow to avoid any of what she had coming. He tapped the back of the brush where he planned to continue punishing. Save her nudity, this predicament was very familiar for the both of them.

"It's not often I find something that moved Kol to a modicum of contrition and motivated him to behave," he said as he rose the brush high above his head, "and now that you're a vampire, you're vulnerable to its magic. I think it's time I demonstrate to you why my littlest brother begged me not to use his this on him."

After Elijah crushed the dark object against the soft mounds of her buttocks, Katerina screamed.

If I still can't get the next chapter to work, I might post some flashbacks of the originals with human Katerina. I've decided Kol and Katherine should wear out poor Elijah's arm with their shenanigans. Or Klaus keeping ripper Stefan and Rebakah in Chicago. I also have a flashback of Stefan's very first spanking from Damon I can brush off.

I sincerely hope no one here is invested in a linear plot.