My name is Tobias, and sometimes I find myself cursing the lengths I go to help my friends.

Jake looked frazzled as he paced around my living room. It was pretty obvious he'd come over as soon as he woke up. Jake's hair was never exactly 'tidy', but this level of disheveled was new. More than that, the jerkiness of his movements displayed openly how freaked out he was.

I'd just messaged my girlfriend, letting her know what was going on, before turning my attention to Jake again. "So, if I'm understanding you correctly: you and Marco drank some beers, he kissed you, and then he ran out of his own apartment."

Seeming to notice how weird he looked walking back and forth, Jake threw himself down on the couch next to me. Feeling a little weird about having him that close, I grabbed a seafoam green throw pillow and held it up to my chest...though even after a few years of hormones, it wasn't like there was anything there he'd want to leer at. If Jake was the leering type. Which he's not.

...stupid survival instincts...

"Yeah, that's...that's it," Jake confirmed. "And he hasn't messaged me at all"

I nodded my head. "Have you messaged him?"

Jake blinked. "I mean...I did last night?"

"But not today."

"No."

I leaned forward, burying my head in the pillow. "You two idiots are going to be the death of me."

Wincing, all Jake had for me was a, "Sorry."

A large part of me wished I could sleep through anything the way my cousin does. Well...technically, Ax is my uncle, but there is no chance I'm ever actually calling him that. But no, I had to already be awake (thanks insomnia), and open the door for a friend, and listen to his crisis.

I could...just ask him to go. It wasn't something I was good at, though Rachel was working on teaching me how to set boundaries with people.

The thing that stopped me really considering that, though, was Marco. He and I...we grew up as friends of friends, really. I had a history of...rough treatment from other people, and while Marco was never a bully, he's also never been one to mince words.

That changed when I came out. In retrospect, it should have been obvious, I'd already known he was trans too, but the stuff he did? Guiding me through the steps to get on hormones, putting me in touch with groups that provide clothes for trans girls who can't afford a wardrobe change, making it damn clear to anyone around him that I was a girl and that was that.

We still weren't close, not really. I don't think we ever really will be. But we don't need to be. Marco had my back. I felt like I had to at least try to return the favor.

Looking up at Jake, I pushed a wave of blonde hair out from in front of my eyes. "Putting aside the freak-out, how do you feel about the kiss?"

His eyes widening, it looked pretty clear to me that Jake had no clue how to answer that question. "I...well, it was..." And then he stopped trying to talk, and just started thinking.

While he was doing that, I decided to throw in my two cents to help. "This kind of thing can be weird. I knew I liked Rachel pretty much from the moment we met, but it took me confessing my feelings for her to realize that she felt the same way. I don't think she really knew how gay those feelings were at the time, but still." I blushed just thinking about that day. Rachel had wanted to help me shop for clothes that fit, and was even paying for them, when I blurted out that I liked her in the middle of a store.

"What if..." Jake said, speaking slowly, "...I don't really know how I feel about it?"

"That's okay. It means you need to think about it more. Take time to let it settle. Re-examine your feelings for him." I paused, then added, "Oh, and you actually need to talk to Marco."

With a nod, I saw Jake gather himself up, starting to really think through what was going to have to happen next, all the possibilities where it might go. It made me smile. Jake was good at pulling himself together, especially when he had to do it for the sake of someone else. "Right." Then, his expression fell. "Oh no...I have to tell Cassie about this."

"She doesn't...already know?" Jake shook his head. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Jake, either you tell your girlfriend about the Marco Kiss, or I will."

He swiftly pulled out his phone and typed a message, before drooping once it was sent, as if the extra problem Cassie presented was ruining whatever plans he'd started to form. "I didn't even know Marco liked guys...how could I miss something like that about my best friend?"

Because he didn't want to see it. That's really the only way I could imagine Jake missing how much Marco loved to look at him, not to mention Ax. Which...ugh. Gross. The fact that attraction was definitely mutual, even if they hadn't actually done anything with it yet, was a No Thinking area of my brain. I'm sure Jake feels the same way about Rachel and I when we're being more...flirty.

Okay, let's be honest, when Rachel is being flirty. Every time I try to flirt, Rachel gives me that look and that smile and I freeze up and...um...

Yeah, anyway, Jake.

Jake was trying to accept this new information about Marco.

"Does Marco being bi really change that much?"

"No." The answer came quickly. Then Jake looked at my floor and added something. "But...the fact he likes me..." He leaned into the back cushion of the couch, which was so old and soft that he kind of sank into it enough to hide him from my sight. "I can't help looking back, thinking about what it means."

"I'm pretty sure all of us knew about how he felt." I paused, then added, "Except Ax. He's pretty oblivious about that sort of thing."

Jake groaned. "Would have loved to hear about it sooner." I decided not to point out how there was no way in hell any of us were going to do that, not when Marco seemed so determined to clamp down that entire subject from Jake's notice at the time. "Like...is that why he got so bent out of shape when Cassie and I started dating?"

"Maybe. You'd have to ask Marco." Personally, I thought it was actually a bit of a two-hit jealousy, since I'm the only person in our friend group that I can be sure Marco hasn't crushed on.

At least...I'm pretty sure. I shuddered at the thought of that.

Seeming to realize that really was the right next step, the one he couldn't avoid, Jake messaged Marco. He reached out again to look into a meet-up to talk things out, but there was no reply.

At least, not from Marco.

Cassie, on the other hand, was apparently wanting to see Jake as soon as possible, at an on-campus cafe before she had her noon class.

Still looking nervous, Jake visibly pushed that down and smiled at me. "Thanks, Tobias. You're a great friend."

I shrugged. "Just a girl doing her best, Jake."

One awkward hug goodbye later, and I was watching Jake head out, probably to get ready before meeting with his girlfriend.

I had class soon myself, but before I could go back to getting ready, I got a message.

TheAxMan#0267 Today at 8:35am: [GIF of a chipmunk coming out of its hole to stare at the camera, with the caption "What was that?"]

Ax likes to communicate with images more than words, frequently saying things like "touchpad keyboards are the bane of civilization". He also frequently messages people, even when it's possible to talk. It's just more comfortable for him.

LadyHawk#3356 Today at 8:39am: Jake was just here.

TheAxMan#0267 Today at 8:39am: [picture of an ad for Cinnabon]

LadyHawk#3356 Today at 8:41am: No, he wasn't here to bring you food.

LadyHawk#3356 Today at 8:42am: Something happened with him and Marco, and he came here for advice.

The door to Ax's room opened, and my cousin stumbled out in a rush to approach me...wearing nothing but his boxers and a binder. "Excuse me. What exactly happened between Jake and Marco?" I explained the situation to Ax, to which he blinked slowly. It took him about half a minute to reply. "I...was not aware Marco was attracted to men." I didn't miss the blush spreading over his light brown cheeks when he said that.

Sighing, I turned Ax around and pushed him towards his room. "Clothes first, continuing this conversation later." I looked at a clock, and swore under my breath. "Later as in 'after classes' because I really need to get going."

Ax had no arguments against that, and I did my best to quickly get through my morning routine. Face: shaved. Patch: on. Make-up: applied. Ready for the day, no matter what my darker thoughts told me. Pushing down the dysphoria that reared up whenever I looked in the mirror, I went to class, hoping to avoid as much of this interpersonal drama as I could.