My name is Jake, and despite getting into university on a basketball scholarship, I'm not an idiot jock.
There are times when I feel like one, though.
For example, standing outside the Lion, waiting for my best friend. So we could have a date. That particular thought kept looping in the back of my mind. 'This is a date, this is a date, this is a date'. Which made me look down at what I was wearing and...
I've got no excuse, other than that I've always been mediocre at dressing myself. Ever since we'd established this was in fact a date, I'd spent the day worrying. I could go with the same casual clothes I wore all the time, or I could try and wear something nicer. But would that make it awkward? Would Marco prefer if it wasn't obvious this was a date?
In the end, I went with the simpler option. T-shirt, jeans. I'd at least made sure my hair was brushed and I had on deodorant, it's not like I put in no effort. That counted for something, right?
It sure didn't feel that way when I saw Marco approach.
Day to day, he usually wore pretty similar things to me, though his clothes were nicer. I was also well aware he enjoyed, what's the word... peacocking, that's it. He enjoyed peacocking when he went on a date. I'd always nod along when he told me about his finds at a thrift shop, because fashion just isn't my area. If he was happy, I was happy.
This was the first time Marco had dressed up like that for me.
His top was asymmetric, long sleeve on one side, basically a tank top on the other, showing off his shoulder and some of his chest without making his binder visible. The aquamarine color of it popped, especially when contrasted to his sleek black slacks.
I was stunned, looking Marco up and down as he approached. I'd never paid attention to the gentle curve of his neck, the slope of his shoulder, the way his curly hair framed his face. It took me a second to realize it, but he had eyeshadow on, subtly making my gaze meet his without even thinking about it.
While I was taking all that in, I numbly realized a few things.
One, Marco was hot. That was new. As he and Cassie had pointed out, I had called guys 'cute' before, but... this was different. I could practically feel my sense of my own sexuality being bent away from just 'straight' by looking at him.
Two, he was about to reach me and the date was about to start and I was still shocked. Would he misread that? He might. Which was frustrating. I'd given him good reason to assume the worst on the night he kissed me, and the more I'd thought about it since then, the more I knew I never wanted him to worry about me rejecting him. Even if we didn't end up together, I didn't want to hurt him, I didn't want him to see me as a homophobic asshole.
Three, I was so underdressed. Had I really been trying to tell myself I'd done alright by doing the bare minimum? Wow, my hair had seen a brush, remarkable. Meanwhile, Marco looked like he'd spent half an hour on hair and make-up, not even counting the time he'd put into his clothes.
"Earth to Jake?" Marco asked, now standing right in front of me. "Please tell me you're not just a convincing mannequin."
Before I could really think it through, I said in a rush, "You look great!" It came out louder than I'd intended, but I stopped, took a breath, and tried to calm down my racing heart. "I mean, seriously, I like your outfit."
I could see the fear, the hesitation, in Marco's eyes, but as was often the case, his mouth told a completely different story. Spreading across his face like a wildfire, his smile looked utterly victorious. "Thanks, I'm aware." Marco gestured at the front door to the restaurant with his head. "Ready to eat?"
"Yeah," I said, trying not to stumble over my words. Then, feeling the need to prove a point, I took Marco's hand in mine and led us through the door. I heard him let out a hushed gasp at the contact, and the sound sent a small triumphant thrill through me.
Even if you're not in the exact same college town as us, if you've ever lived in one, you've probably been to a place like the Lion. Technically, the full name was 'Lion through your Teeth', but that was too long and too kitschy, so everyone just called it 'the Lion'. It had been around for what felt like an eternity, a brick and mortar building not far from the college, serving good burgers and other unhealthy food.
Plus it had a bar. Which we were still too young to use, but did mean the place tended to be pretty full.
Noisy too. Actually giving our orders to the girl behind the counter took some mild raising of voices, and with that done we had to skulk around and find a booth to sit at. The interior of the Lion was full of old-timey stuff. Most of it was references to the mining craze of the 1800's, though there was more than enough other junk from as recent as the 1940's to fill the walls and ceiling and tables.
Once we found a place to sit, Marco and I took our opposite sides, and Marco leaned forward, head in his hands, elbows on the laminated table. "Look at Big Jake over here, taking my hand and leading me around. What if one of your sports buddies catches you? Ready with a 'no homo' on your lips?" It was said as a gentle quip, or as gentle as Marco's quips got, but I could hear the anxieties it hid.
I could have said something about how it would be easy to hide the fact we were on a date. After all, we were known best friends. We ate out together like this all the time. Excuses would be easy to come by.
But I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to feed the idea in Marco that this, whatever it was, whatever it became, was something we'd need to hide. So I told him, voice serious, "It's none of their business, but if any of them asked, I'd say we were on a date." I paused, rethinking something, then added, "I mean, if you're okay with me saying that. I don't want to out you by accident."
Marco rolled his eyes. "Fat chance of that, man. Even if your basketball buddies haven't clocked me, I seriously doubt I could 'no homo' my way out of this outfit." His smirk grew by centimeters. "This outfit, which you like."
The conversation moved on easily from there, the same natural back and forth we were used to. But as we started debating which X-Men team was the best (Seriously? The Australian Outback Era? That had to just be Marco being a contrarian), I felt my attention starting to focus on Marco's hands.
It had been nice to hold his, on the way in. It was soft, much softer than Cassie's, who might have more calluses than I do. I wondered if I should ask him to hold hands while we wait, but... how to ask that without seeming weird?
Yes, yes, I was being an idiot. We were on a date. I knew Marco liked me, and I was starting to consider I might feel something similar back. But before I could say anything, I heard the speaker system above us buzz out in barely understandable noise, "Jake, order's ready".
(I'd paid, though Marco had made me agree that he would pay next time we went out.)
(He didn't say second date.)
As I stood up, Marco made no effort to pretend he was going to share the burden, instead just grinning at me and saying, "Oh? Is this the kind of gentlemanly service I can expect on a date with my fearless leader?"
"Obviously," I said back. My smile wasn't as falsely confident as Marco's, it probably showed him just how shaky I felt about it all still. But it was a genuine smile. I was enjoying this.
When I came back to the table, a basket in each hand, Marco wasn't there. Confused, I set his (the one with the onion rings) on the side he'd been at before, then started on my own burger.
Cassie had been out of line to insult Inn n Out, but she was right that the Lion had better burgers.
I was halfway through mine, slathered in barbeque sauce and a dab of peanut butter, when Marco came back up, carrying drinks. "Your usual," he told me, setting a glass of cola in front of me, then sat down and took a sip of his bright red drink, a cherry floating at the top. "Ah, you can't fuck up a Shirley Temple." I raised an eyebrow, and Marco groaned. "Don't worry, Slim Summers, unlike either of us, this is a virgin."
The joke brought an image to mind, hastily cobbled together by my brain. I choked on my sip of soda as it hit me. Actually picking through all the emotions it brought up in me would be a task for another time, but I couldn't deny I was blushing (and a little turned on).
"Don't worry, Jake, unlike some people I don't put out on the first date," Marco sniped, starting on his onion rings before even trying his burger.
As I finished recovering from the near death experience, I threw Marco a glare. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"
In-between bites of his food, Marco shot back, "I'll be sure to do that, as soon as you agree to never mention my goth phase." Mischief twinkled in his brown eyes as he made the offer.
I groaned. "Yeah, that sounds like 'never' then." There's no way I'd be able to stop mentioning that particular disaster.
The conversation hit a lull as we ate, and when we'd both pushed aside our baskets, the silence stretched on. Suddenly, that easy back and forth was gone. The fact this was a date, not another casual hanging out, was undeniable at this point.
As expected, Marco broke the quiet. "So... how are you feeling? If you want to switch this to a friendly hang-out, I'd understand. No hard feelings."
He did a good job hiding it, but I still caught the barest quiver in his voice as he tried to say those last few words. It spoke of a disturbing truth: if this went badly, the idea that Marco would come out of it fine was a fiction. A story he'd probably try and enforce, but still a lie. I had no idea how long he'd been crushing on me, but it was obvious his feelings went deep.
"Marco, I'd let you know." I reached out a hand before I could second guess myself again, taking one of his in mine. He squeezed, and I squeezed back. "I'm liking this. Not just because I like spending time with you, I..." Feeling at a loss for the right words, I took a deep breath, then stopped overthinking it. "This is still new and kind of weird for me. But I'm enjoying it. I know that. I also know you look amazing, and I don't mean that in anything like a platonic way."
Marco met my eyes, and I could see him processing what I'd said. I knew full-well how cynical he was. How much he tended towards doubt, how he distrusted anything resembling optimism. Still, he smiled. And it felt more real, more earned, than any other grin from him that whole evening.
He also reached a leg under the table to brush against my thigh. I felt... some kind of strong, mind-numbing feeling, and I began to worry that Marco might soon be able to brag about being able to shut my brain off. "You just let me know if you get uncomfortable then, okay? Until then, I'll be a new Marco, one you usually don't get to see. Just to warn you, Date Marco is a bit much, at least from past reviews."
"I'm sure I can handle Date Marco," I replied, though I honestly wasn't sure.
What followed was something resembling our usual kinds of conversations, while also nothing like that at all. Marco had turned on his flirting, making sure to throw compliments my way, or drop innuendos, whenever he saw the chance.
I wish I could say I gave as good as I got, but... that's not really my thing? Any time I try to make a good flirty line, it usually just comes off as insensitive or nonsensical. Instead, I focused on what I'd been told I was good at: letting Marco know I was enjoying it.
Eventually, we both knew it was time to head out. I had practice in the morning, and Marco had an acting class.
So, hand-in-hand, we walked out of the Lion, then towards my car. That was where we'd have to say goodbye. He lived in the on-campus dorms, my apartment was well outside walking distance. "This was great," I told Marco, meaning every simple word.
"That tracks, considering how great I am," Marco replied, standing closer than he usually would.
He was gathering up his courage, to try something for now the second time. I beat him to it, leaning down and leading the kiss this time.
This wasn't a quick peck on the lips. No, I wanted to put some of how I was feeling, this strange roiling ball of emotions that I was still struggling to properly define in words or thoughts, into an action. I could taste the chapstick on his soft lips as the kiss dragged on, second after second.
It wasn't like either of us started slipping in tongue, neither of us seemed sure enough to try that. Still, feeling him suddenly press into me, kissing back with a desperate need I'd never felt from anyone else before, it was nice. Different from Cassie or any of the girls I'd dated, but nice.
Something clicked for me, as we pulled away and broke the kiss.
I definitely wanted a second date. I wanted to take this further. Not because I didn't want to disappoint Marco, but because he and I fit together, like puzzle pieces. This was definitely a new side to him, something different from the wise-cracking friend I'd known most of my life. And it was a side that I liked.
"See you tomorrow," I told him, taking his hand for another brief squeeze of affirmation.
He looked unfocused, like he was still recovering from the kiss. "Y-yeah, sounds good. See you then." It was hard to tell in the dark, but I thought I saw the blood rush to his cheeks in a blush.
We went our separate ways, and it wasn't until I'd gotten home that I checked my phone.
#throuple-zone-question-mark-exclamation-point
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 9:57pm: Let me know how things went!
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 9:58pm: Also, please say when both of you are home safely!
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:13pm: The date is over
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:13pm: I'm home
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:14pm: [GIF of an anime girl putting a hand to her ear]
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:14pm: And?
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:19pm: It was good
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:19pm: We kissed
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:19pm: Food was tasty
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:19pm: !
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:20pm: [GIF of an explosion of hearts]
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:42pm: just got home
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:42pm: bad traffic
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:43pm: date was really nice
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:43pm: marco is weirdly good at kissing
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:44pm: Right?
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:45pm: Who initiated the kiss this time?
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:45pm: me
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:45pm: Welcome to the 'Kissed Marco Club'! I'll add you to that group later, I'm not at my desktop right now.
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:46pm: Ex-fucking-scuse me?
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:46pm: That's not a real group
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:47pm: ;)
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:47pm: Whatever you want to believe, sweetie.
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:48pm: Fuck I forgot how much I liked you calling me that
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:48pm: also
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:48pm: marco looked good
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:49pm: like really good
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:49pm: i hadnt been told he was hot
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:49pm: but now that ive noticed i can never unnotice
You'reTheManNowDog is typing...
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:50pm: Oh, well we don't usually talk about it.
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:51pm: Did you take a picture of the outfit he was wearing?
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:51pm: no should have though
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:52pm: I took a picture while getting ready, so here
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:53pm: [Picture of Marco in his outfit, face obscured by him holding his phone up to take the picture in the mirror]
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:54pm: To avoid more of this torture, now that I've fed you rabid dogs this bone, I'm going to turn my phone off and go to bed
You'reTheManNowDog#9922 Today at 10:55pm: ||Seriously you two talking like this is fucking me up in a good way and I can't take much more, love you both||
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:56pm: night
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:56pm: sleep well
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:57pm: love you too
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 10:57pm: Love you too! Please try and get a good night's sleep, it's important and I know you have a tendency to stay up watching videos. The light from your phone can actually make falling asleep a lot harder.
BigJake#0110 Today at 10:59pm: cassie
BigJake#0110 Today at 11:00pm: are you serious
BigJake#0110 Today at 11:00pm: how much sleep did you even get last night
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 11:01pm: Seven hours, but I get your point. I have no room to lecture others...
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 11:02pm: I should probably get to bed myself, once I finish this paper. So I'm going to focus on that. I'm so glad your date went well, though!
BigJake#0110 Today at 11:03pm: are you and marco going to go on a date too
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 11:04pm: Probably, but I'll need to check with him on scheduling.
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 11:06pm: That said, I do want to propose a three-way date at some point.
BigJake#0110 Today at 11:07pm: how would that work
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 11:09pm: I'm not entirely sure either, I'd want to do a lot of research first.
BigJake#0110 Today at 11:10pm: i do want to try that
BigJake#0110 Today at 11:10pm: it sounds fun
BigJake#0110 Today at 11:11pm: i should sleep
BigJake#0110 Today at 11:11pm: love you
TreeHugger3000#6203 Today at 11:12pm: Love you too! Sleep well, honey.