A week or so had passed since the girls had gone to the bar. Brittany felt a lot closer to Santana. She felt like she could trust her more.
It was crazy. Because they felt as if they knew each other forever. It was cliche to say, but it was true. Granted, Brittany hadn't gone into detail about what came up on the night of the bar. Santana had told her that when she was ready to talk about it, she would be there to listen. There was no rush or anything.
Shift was unusually quiet. The girls spent most of the time cleaning the ambulance and refilling their supplies. It was always a good time when they were together, so Brittany had been a lot happier than usual.
"Hey Britt, can I talk to you?" Quinn was standing outside of the ambulance. "Just a quick one, if you have time."
Brittany jumped out and walked with Quinn. "What's up?"
"So tonight, I gotta go pick up some stuff for the house. Can you come with me? I don't feel like going by myself."
Brittany felt bad. She had been spending so much time with Santana that she hadn't really been talking with Quinn much.
"Hey I'm sorry, I know I been spending a lot of time with San lately."
"Oh no it's nothing like that. I don't mind that at all. I just gotta vent about something. And I rather not talk about it around everyone here at the house."
Brittany didn't ask anymore. "I gotcha. I'll come with you."
"Okay get back to San. She doesn't like refilling on her own." The girls fist bumped and Brittany ran back to the ambo.
The next shift came on and Santana and Brittany did their regular briefings with the EMTs.
"I'll catch you when I get home okay? I'm gonna run to the store with Quinn." Brittany leaned over and kissed Santana on the cheek.
"Okay. Take your guys time." Santana smiled and walked out to the parking lot.
Quinn was just leaving her office. "You ready?"
The girls jumped in Quinn's car and headed to the store.
"Okay. So. I've been trying to bring it up to Shuester for the past month and a half or so. But when we did our ladder inspections the other day, the ladder on the truck has a weird crack in it. But he said it's still operable."
They were in WalMart now getting small things for the house.
"Do you think if someone goes up the ladder it'll collapse or something?"
Quinn shrugged. "I hope not. I haven't seen a ladder damaged this way before so I'm not too sure. I just don't want anything happening to the guys."
"Try and bring it up to him again and tell him it got worse." Brittany was putting everything on the conveyor belt at the cash register now.
"I will next shift." Quinn was passing things to Brittany to put on the belt. "But enough about that, how are you and San?"
"We're good. I haven't told her anything yet, if that's what you're wondering about."
"I know that. I asked her." Quinn laughed a little. "I'm glad that she isn't rushing you. She's curious to say the least, but she's patient. And she'll wait for you."
Quinn finished paying for their items and they walked out of the store together.
"I know she will. I'm getting there. Slowly. I haven't really told anyone about it honestly so I'm kinda scared."
"Don't be scared Britt. She's really open minded and understanding. It's hard to find someone like that."
"Well shit I mean the way you talk to her you might as well date her." Brittany said in a playful way. "Nah I'm joking. But not really."
The girls got into the car and began to drive home.
"I'm not like that you know that. I'm just saying, I think you guys will be perfect together."
That was something Brittany already knew. From all of the time they had spent together, she knew that they would be perfect as a couple. Santana was like her missing piece.
When they got to the house, it was no surprise that Santana's car was parked outside.
"I'll be right in. I gotta make a call real quick."
With that, Brittany got out of the car and headed inside. Once she opened the door, she smelt her favorite pasta, with garlic bread on the side. She knew the smell. So when she completely opened the door she saw Santana sitting at the table, candles lit, dinner ready while pouring a glass of wine.
"I haven't taken you on a actual date yet, so I jumped at the chance tonight." She smiled at Brittany. Her phone vibrated.
Have fun. See you in a few hours. -Q
"You did all of this, for me?" Brittany could barely speak. Never in her life did she have someone go out of their way for her like this.
"I did." Santana smiled. "So come. Sit. I'm not the best cook so don't hold it against me."
Dinner was amazing. Their conversations never went dry, and Brittany had never laughed like she did with Santana.
"I really like how we get along, Britt. I really like you."
Brittany took a sip of her wine and put the glass down on the table. "But, there's the one thing I haven't told you."
"There's no rush. I promise. I didn't do all of this tonight to try and convince you to tell me. I just want you to know that I'm not trying to rush you. I'm here when you're ready to tel me. If you want to."
The more Brittany thought about it, the more she knew that Santana was worth telling. Yeah, she hadn't told anyone. The only person that knew everything was Sugar . She knew it was time to tell someone else. And she felt that person should be santana.
"I know. But, I think I'm ready."
Brittany picked up her glass of wine and motioned Santana to follow her to the couch.
"It started a little before I got out, and continued pretty much until now. Sometimes I get nightmares. All the stuff you hear about. Night sweats, all of that." Brittany took another sip. "There are times that I get startled when someone suddenly wakes me up. It reminds me of when I would be in my tent and my sergeant would frantically wake me up because someone was dying."
"I didn't know.."
"Hey." Brittany placed her hand on Santana's. "It's no big deal. It isn't as bad as it used to be. I've gone to therapy. Taken the pills. Done all of that. I've worked hard to get to where I'm at today."
Santana didn't really know what to say.
"I still have some pills that I take when things get too hectic for me."
"Do you have to take them often?" Santana seemed curious. In a good way.
"Not really. But when I first got here it brought everything back because I hadn't seen Quinn since.. well.."
"She told me. I mean, sorta." Santana started getting hesitant.
"It's okay. I promise. I haven't talked about that day to anyone in a while. It haunts me." Santana grabbed onto Brittany's hand and squeezed. She didn't have to say anything for Britt to understand what she was saying with her body language. "I was just scared that you wouldn't like me anymore. it's a lot to take in, and this is just the surface of it all."
"Look, Britt. What you've been through before won't affect how I feel about you now. If that makes sense. When I like someone I like them for everything they are."
"I appreciate that. I was always afraid to get close to someone because of that reason. The last person I got close to, she was afraid of me after a night of drinking. That's why I left California."
Santana saw the look in her eyes. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"I think it's time."
Brittany's thoughts took her back to that hot summer night in California. Janet and Brittany were just leaving the bar with a bunch of their friends. Janet wasn't a EMT she was this girl that worked at the local coffee shop that Brittany frequented. Janet wrote her number on one of Brittany's coffees and they hit it off right away. They started with texting, and after a week they went on their first date. It was all new for Brittany, she hadn't felt close to someone like that in a while. They hit it off right away an after a few dates which led up to this night in particular.
"You ready to head home babe?" Janet was going through her purse to find the keys. "Babe?"
Brittany was staring down into a puddle, spacing out. It had been a little while since she drank alcohol. Coming out tonight she hadn't planned on drinking, and now she was drunk.
"Yeah sorry. Coming." She got into the car and drove back to Brittany's apartment.
They both got ready for bed and Janet was in bed before Brittany. She was washing her face and when she looked up, she looked a little pale. Brittany shook it off though, thinking it was nothing. She slipped out of her shirt and layed down next to Janet. The girls kissed goodnight and fell asleep.
That's when it started. It was like Brittany was back in Afghanistan. She recognized the scene was a little after taking Quinn to the airport. The FOB had gotten hit by a mortar round, and she was now treating casualties. It wasn't ideal, dust blowing everywhere, temperature above 100 degrees.
When she turned to the right, she saw him. It was one of the guys from the distro platoon. She ran over to him immediately started looking for his tourniquet because his left arm was bleeding immensely. No matter what she did though, she couldn't save him.
Brittany started panicking. She couldn't keep the dust out of his wounds. He was bleeding out. With her right hand she was trying to keep pressure on his chest wound while checking his pulse with her left. He was gone.
That's when Brittany woke up. And she was holding Janet's arm pretty tightly, with her other hand around her neck. She was afraid to look up to meet Janet's eyes but she did. And she was scared. Brittany immediately let go, and got out of the bed. They didn't say anything to each other but Janet did leave. Janet never really gave Brittany the chance to explain herself, but up until that point Brittany hadn't told her about her PTSD. Everything was so new to her that she hadn't figured out a way to explain it to someone else when she had a hard time getting a grip of it herself.
After that night, her and Janet didn't really speak. It was disappointing, she actually really liked Janet. But she made the decision to leave Cali and not look back.