Author Notes
Going forward, I will be adding a song to accompany each chapter. You can say it is an unofficial soundtrack. I realized after writing a couple of these chapters they are strongly represented by a particular song. It wasn't necessarily anything I listened to at the time but just a song that properly fits the entire thing.
This story is going to be heading a darker path for a while. It is my intent to post the next few chapters within the coming week as they all play together. The Beyond Coldharbour Arc will conclude soon and the new Arc will take over shortly after. I will make sure they are properly linked on the site to ensure no one loses the new story.
Soundtrack recommendation: Lost (feat. Sully Erna) by Stitched Up Heart
15th of Sun's Dusk
Prying Tenaya's teeth from Lydia's neck proved to be quite the challenge. Serana managed to get her teeth apart only to see a shell of the person Tenaya was. Her eyes looked hollow, face defeated. She was not the same person who stood in front of Azura. Lydia on the other hand took everything in stride. She didn't fear turning and a blessing seemed to resolve those fears. She only cared for her Thane.
"Should we try to get her to talk again?" Lydia asked.
"Good luck. I never saw her like this. She won't leave that room for anything." Serana replied.
Lydia walked up the steps to the same room Tenaya remained in. She wasn't on the bed anymore, choosing the chair in the corner over the flatness of the bed. Her eyes stayed ahead no matter what anyone did. Every attempt by Lydia went nowhere. Tenaya flat out refused to acknowledge her. Tenaya didn't move her head or unfold her arms once. She held the robe tightly over her body like some sort of shell.
Downstairs, Serana looked at a defeated Lydia. The scars on her neck wouldn't go anywhere. Lydia had to carry that for the rest of her life. Tenaya didn't realize she ripped deep into her soul at the same time. All she wanted was for her Thane to come back, to be normal again. This wasn't the Tenaya either of them knew, most of all Serana. Tenaya seemed to be lost in the world again. She imagined Tenaya spent many nights like this after stabbing and leaving her for dead.
"Nope…"
Lydia went out of the house looking frustrated. She wouldn't throw in the towel no matter what happened. If having her neck ripped open and blood drank didn't scare her away, very little would. Serana went upstairs wanting to speak to Tenaya without another set of ears around. Tenaya only blinked, looking to the ground where she stood. Her head never moved or anything for that matter.
"I am not sure what is going on with you Tenaya." Serana said, reaching for her hands. Tenaya pulled back when she did. She didn't move anything else and only stared at the ground. Serana shook her head trying to figure out what exactly happened. Where was Tenaya?
"Do you want us to leave? Is that what you want? For two days you have yet to speak with us and all we did was fight to keep you alive!" Serana yelled, hands trembling in frustration.
"What do you want me to say?" Tenaya said slowly, softly.
Serana whipped around quickly hearing the voice again. She never expected an answer given the last couple days. Tenaya adjusted the robe to keep herself covered and only looked to Serana.
"Words, that is a good start." Serana shot back with her old sarcasm. "I would like for you to form some words, in a sentence, and explain what is going on with you."
"I almost died. What are you hoping for? Me to dance through the streets with happiness about it? Have you forgotten the wound on my stomach still isn't healed or what I am feeling?" Tenaya replied, slowly and articulated, her struggles to talk normal clearly showing.
"We don't know anything because you have yet to say anything Tenaya. I cried by your bed, held your hand for days. I almost showed the entire town my pure-blooded form to get a cure for you. We have been dealing with Dawnguard. This has been tough on us also."
"Is Lydia okay?" Tenaya asked, changing subjects very quickly.
"You need to speak to her. She is more spooked than anything. It isn't every day you get your neck ripped open by a vampire."
"All of us will die at Velatin's hands. All of you will for helping me."
"We chose what we do."
Tenaya finally stood up from the chair. Her body shook from its weakened state, hand instinctively clutching to her stomach where the wound still healed. Her steps brought no ease to the pain. Under the robe, Tenaya felt safe. She shielded herself from the world and hid the damage to her body. The poison marks faded away, but their bruises remained. Her body held together and won but at a cost.
She stepped down each stair slowly, holding the railing in a death grip. Wood creaked with her weight or at least Tenaya wanted to think it was the wood. Her legs quivered more with each passing step. Tenaya caught sight of the armor sitting on the table. The hole in the armor where he broke through and stabbed didn't remain. She barely noticed a single flaw in the armor.
"This armor is useless…"
Tenaya threw the armor across the room. The food in the pots upset when it smashed against them, dropping the armor on the fire. Serana ran down the steps to find out what happened with the noise. Seeing the armor sitting on the fire in such a manner said everything. She quickly pulled it from the flames. The armor didn't even have a scratch on it, but their scars sat elsewhere.
Her hands pulled the robe tight and she slipped on an old set of boots from the dresser in the corner. The house if nothing left a little bit of her old life there. She didn't want to get dressed up to head outside. All she wanted was a quick trip to get one thing in particular. Her throat burned for blood while her body needed nourishment. Whether she liked it or not, she needed to find a way to get potions down as a vampire without wanting to throw up every time.
The outside light made the agony so much worse. As soon as the sunlight hit her body, everything exposed felt on fire. She slipped the hood over her head out of instinct from watching Serana do it countless times. No one paid attention to her walking through the market and directly in Arcadia's Cauldron. All she wanted to see was the right potion to do the job.
"Do you have any high potency healing potions?" Tenaya asked.
"You do not look well. Let me see what I have in stock."
She left her spot behind the counter and sifted through a few different bottles. The one she looked for sat in the very back, rarely sold due to the extreme cost. The bottle itself had dust covering everything including the wax seal on the very top. Tenaya could only imagine how long she had this one for.
"This will cost you a pretty penny. It is 342 gold."
"She will pay…"
Tenaya grabbed the bottle leaving Serana to pay for it. She didn't have any gold on her but Serana did, she always carried it everywhere they went. Tenaya left the store before Serana could catch up to her walking inside her house. Lydia stood up seeing her, running over to give a hug. It was a little too much for Tenaya who let out a yell in pain, feeling her body smashed by the woman. She had none of her strength yet or desire for emotions.
"Sorry my Thane. I just am glad to see you around." Lydia said apologetic.
"It is fine…"
All she wanted right now was the potion. High potency worked on vampires as she learned from Serana. The basic ones had little effect in their travels. Many times, Serana suffered longer than she needed to because of a weak potion. The magic potions did little unless they were the same. Only a few places across Skyrim, or some random chest if they were lucky would have the ones strong enough to do their job.
Fingers ripped through the wax sitting over the cork. Tenaya bit the cork to rip it out and put the entire bottle down before starting to gag. The taste was putrid, coming somewhere between the likes of fungus and skeevers. All of it tasted downright nasty without the hint of blood in there. She chose to sit down and let the potion do its trick. For the price she paid, it hopefully would work.
Patience ran thin anytime someone approached. Tenaya wanted left alone. She needed time to heal and accept what happened. Every thought came down to the fight, how quickly he moved or how his strength grew stronger with each passing moment. Those punches broke her armor. What kind of monster could shatter metal armor? Tenaya went over to the bed and straight to sleep. She all but ignored everyone who came and went. Her eyes closed for the rest of the day and night with no chance of opening.
When she woke up and to her delight, every passing hour let the potion work. What was a hole with stitches now sat sealed with fresh tissue over. Her insides didn't throb like before. She finally felt the strength come back to her body. Her legs didn't shake when she stood up. The bruising and aches persisted, but they were tolerable.
Tenaya walked out of the bedroom to a waiting Serana and Lydia. Both sat outside her door quickly stepping to their feet as she approached. "How do you feel?" Lydia asked quickly.
"Better. It is time for us to leave. I think I am able to make the journey now." Tenaya replied.
"Are you sure? We can take a few more days Tenaya." Serana added.
"No, we need to get back. I am not sure how well at keeping guests your mother is."
"True…" Serana nodded, realizing her mother is a rather poor host.
"I need to go to the good store and get something to wear."
"You have your armor."
"That armor is useless." Tenaya spit out. Tenaya walked down the steps to find something to wear. The robes were not suited for the journey.
"My Thane, others spent a lot of time fixing it for you. Do not disrespect what they did in your memory."
Hesitation wrinkled across Tenaya's face. She couldn't imagine ever putting that armor on again. The memories alone made it almost unbearable. What started as something special and a symbol of pride became a piece of disdain and regret.
"Fine…"
She slipped the robe off and started strapping the armor on one more time. It fit perfectly, just like before. The hole, or rather where it was, blended so perfectly there wasn't a sign of damage or weakness in there. Her fingers reached behind and found the dagger. Not a single detail was spared on the armor. All her craftsmanship and signatures were restored perfectly. Whoever repaired this took their time to make it exact.
Serana smiled when she saw Tenaya back in the armor. This seemed more appropriate. Seeing her getting a little bit back to normal went a long way. Tenaya may not have been amused, but Serana enjoyed it quite a bit. Having her back seemed the best thing.
Tenaya stopped with Lydia, looking to her neck one more time. Lydia didn't seem too angry over the whole thing. She offered a hug, knowing Lydia had a deeper and more emotional side than others. Lydia welcomed her with open arms, happy to see her Thane in better spirits. "You take care of yourself. Come back if you need anything. My life and blade are yours my Thane."
"I know Lydia. Use this house as you see fit, it is yours as well. We will see each other soon enough."
Serana walked out behind Tenaya. The light did neither of them favors. Tenaya led the way to Adrianne's shop. She knew she needed a weapon and they would have something. Just like usual, Adrianne propped herself against the post in front of the armoring table. She didn't do much other than smile when Tenaya approached.
"That armor of yours. Whatever made you mix those metals?" Adrianne asked.
"You did a great job repairing it. I cannot even see a seam."
"It took Eorlund Gray-mane and me to figure this out." Adrianne added, not wanting to take all the credit herself. "I would recommend something for a stronger mix. Instead of the Quicksilver you added, change it out to Malachite and keep the temperature high for a good hour. You will find the mixture lighter and stronger."
"Really? I didn't think they were compatible…"
Adrianne had a grin on her face. She walked Tenaya inside the shop and pulled out a dagger of the material she mentioned. "Eorlund and I had a hard time figuring out your metal, especially to get the blue notes. This is the dagger we made while testing. You will find it can break a solid Malachite weapon."
Tenaya lifted the dagger, seeing how light it truly was. It flipped around effortlessly. The one she made in Cyrodil weighted twice as much. This one seemed balanced and durable.
"Any other secrets you want to share?"
Adrianne shook her head knowing this was more than enough. Tenaya bought all the supplies she needed and tossed them into a sack for the journey. The two greeted each other one last time before her and Serana walked out of Whiterun.
Everything felt different since their run-in with Velatin. Tenaya walked on edge, constantly scanning everything. The slightest noise would rattle her to the point the dagger came out. Fireballs shot through the day sky at every movement. Walking back to Castle Volkihar netted them over 9 different hides, all from the itchy fingers of Tenaya.
"Are you going to be okay? I never saw you like this Tenaya." Serana asked, grabbing the next pelt from a rabbit.
Her lack of response sat colder than the air around. Tenaya struggled to deal with everything. Together, Serana figured they made one heck of a team. Serana couldn't handle her emotions or accept things that happened and Tenaya, she couldn't accept the situation with Velatin. Her actions were so frantic, all over the place. Her steps through Skyrim went with anger and resentment now.
"Well I hope you get ready, there is a small group of bandits ahead on the path." Serana said before firing off an ice spike their direction.
Tenaya pulled the small dagger with a simple look. She charged ahead with Serana following in her steps. Arrows whizzed by their heads with decent precision but not enough power to hit them. Tenaya jumped through the air with the dagger going straight into the heart of one bandit. The dagger cut the armor cleanly without a fight. It lived up to the reputation Adrianne gave it.
Serana managed to get the second bandit under control when the third ran away screaming. Both gave chase until another bandit moved from the trees. He stood more formidable wearing his heavy armor from head to toe. He brandished a two-handed sword with no concern in the world for another. His huffing when it lifted in the air said the weapon barely worked for him.
Ice spikes fired forward hitting with great precision. His armor bounced them off while Serana circled. It was only then did Serana realize something wasn't right. Tenaya curled over herself on the ground, trembling, unable to move. The bandits quickly realized she sat on the ground without any attempt to move. He wanted an easy kill from the looks of it.
Tenaya couldn't bring herself up. Serana was in this on her own. The bandit chief didn't back down, moving towards Tenaya who visibly shook. A massive fireball erupted from Serana's hands and went directly to him. He ran out of the way just in the moment of time before being engulfed. She walked his direction when he hoisted the large sword up. Serana tempted fate, sending smaller ice spikes his direction only in an attempt to keep his attention.
"You really need to get up Tenaya." Serana yelled.
Another fireball went through the air towards the bandit when it became clear Tenaya wasn't moving. Serana kept every bit of magic on the ready to try and get the time she needed. This bandit refused to back down. His sword swung wide the first time. Serana danced around, moving faster than she had in many years. Her fingers started bleeding his life with every miss of the sword. Only when her magic wore thin did the full extent of her form come out.
Serana ran his direction with no weapon out, as if one was needed. Her strength pulled the gauntlets off his hands while her head slammed into his. The helmet mattered little to the unbridled strength coming to the surface. She no longer stayed the calm and cool Serana Tenaya only witnessed. Her fingers ripped flesh from bone without any effort. His eyes looked on to see those of a true monster, eyes glowing bright.
Fingers dug down inside the creases of his armor before she ripped it apart screaming. Her hands clapped together over his head one time, killing him instantly from the blow. His body dropped to the ground and provided a wonderful drink to Serana. She forgot how thirsty it made her when she doesn't hold back what she was. When she stopped, Tenaya still sat on the ground, cowering and shivering.
"Come on Tenaya. Let's get you home…"
Serana helped her up to feel her entire body shaking. The shaking didn't stop for the length of their walk home. Tenaya didn't speak a single word, looking like a lost animal in the wild. Serana started to wonder if the damage inflicted during that fight could ever be undone. This was a totally different person who stood beside her. This person felt very different than Tenaya ever did. For now, all she could do was help her and try.
Returning to Castle Volkihar felt more welcoming than ever to Serana. She happily stepped inside to the waiting noise from her mother and the bickering back and forth with the other vampire, Matria. It seemed they were on the same terms as when Serana and Tenaya left. The yelling over ingredients seemed so petty given what each of them just went through. Tenaya at the same time still quivered in her arms.
"Tenaya!" Ivy yelled from the balcony.
All the bickering stopped with a simple name coming out. Matria and Valerica stepped from the cathedral area while Ivy came running down the steps. Everyone quickly greeted the returning Tenaya and Serana, but the joy didn't last. Tenaya carried the same look she had since waking up. Ivy's embrace brought little comfort and the constant quivering brought a lot of reactions forward.
"What's wrong?" Ivy asked trying to look at Tenaya.
"I must admit daughter, you started to worry me." Valerica said.
"We had a couple setbacks." Serana said, trying to keep it polite.
"Setbacks? Is that what it was?" Tenaya snapped, pushing Serana, anger coming out full tilt. "I almost died! I don't remember you sitting on your deathbed for days on end. Just tell them the truth. We are screwed and going to die."
Tenaya stormed off, ripping the armor from her body with every step she took. Serana watched in dismay. "What was that about?" Matria asked.
Serana explained their entire trip from the Dawnguard ambush all the way to Tenaya waking up from the fight with the poison. Valerica listened more concerned than anyone. Ivy and Matria knew the situation were less than ideal, but none of them knew the truth like she did. Even her daughter knew nothing of what Daedra or those beyond their understanding were capable of.
The events sobered each of them quickly, even the likes of Valerica. She knew in ancient times of warring Daedra and what it meant to Tamriel. It appeared this started up again with very real consequences. Instead of all the Daedra in a free-for-all, this time it appeared they chose to fight with and against another. Her realizations manifested to the group in words each of them were shocked over.
"You realize daughter we should be standing by Molag Bal? Even Matria, as we are his children? It is his gift that lets us live forever, not the blessing of another."
"He used me as bait to get Tenaya. I could have died mother!" Serana replied in shock.
"If it is the will of Molag Bal. We are his children. We are the Daughters of Coldharbour."
"I cannot do that. I will not abandon the one who saved my life!"
"I only speak the truth my dear Serana. I mean no disrespect to you. We fell from his graces once and look at what happened. This may be our test. You ruined your Royal Armor which was his gift."
Serana couldn't believe the words coming from her mother. After everything she went through and believing she changed, it seemed her mother was truly no different. Almost losing her daughter was nothing but a moment in time with no consequence. She truly wanted to keep the life she had and never move forward, just like her father.
She stormed off to find Tenaya. How her mother could be so cold escaped her. What would it take for her to realize this wasn't the right way? Something would change the way she felt, but she didn't know what that would be. Serana couldn't keep trying to figure her mother out. It seemed she was too far gone to bring back.
Her search heightened when Tenaya never turned up. She went through the entire castle for hours, searching every room and hallway. There were no hidden areas anymore with the place cleaned up. Ivy and Matria joined in after a couple hours with no luck. All of them search high and low with no sign of Tenaya anywhere. Her armor sat in the corner to Serana's room, tossed there with no effort to protect it.
"Serana! Come quickly!" Matria yelled.
Serana went running to meet her and Ivy in the courtyard. The sound of their screams made her worry even more. Those were not the screams of happiness or joy but rather those of terror. What did Tenaya do to scare them so badly?
Tenaya didn't stand anywhere around. Ivy and Matria looked her direction holding a piece of paper in their hands only. Serana walked over, confused, wondering what this was about. She quickly pulled it from their hands wanting to read it for herself.
By the time you read this message I will be far from the castle. I will not allow another to die because I am not strong enough to win this fight. All of you have the ability to live your lives without interference and can do just that as long as I am not around.
Matria, you may find your place well enough with Serana and Valerica. If Valerica will tolerate you, learn what you can and see if you find your place in this world as well. We barely know each other and yet I feel you have the opportunity to find out what it means to be a hero in your own right.
Ivy, you have a lot left in you beyond the scar on your body. Speak with Lydia in Whiterun for a proper job, one that will give you something beyond shaking down people. My armor will fit you with only the smallest modifications. I am sure any blacksmith could do what is needed.
Serana, my dear Serana, you no longer must face the demons that scare you. I am sure your mother will be thrilled with my departure since we never saw eye to eye. I came back for you and to find the answers about what happened. In a way I believe I found both, except the person you were never came back. Rather than ask you to try and find yourself, I ask you to let it all go. I bear no grudges for our past. From dealing with Boethiah to Molag Bal, I would happily do it again to see you return to your former self. Now I know it is selfish to ever imagine.
I am leaving Skyrim to take the fight elsewhere and allow you all a chance at a normal life.
-Tenaya Darix
Serana dropped to her knees pounding the ground relentlessly. She failed the woman she started to fall in love with again.