Hello
I would like to announce that I have decided, from now on, to publish the original version and the English version at the same time. It is therefore not useful, if you are not French-speaking, to go to the French version to read ahead! ^^ Of course this decision may delay the updates a bit, but so I'm sure everyone is reading corrected and coherent text.
For those who are waiting to know the consequences of what Azula did to Kojiro, we will have to wait a few chapters! I have plenty of things to build beforehand, but I think you won't be disappointed (at least I hope so!)
I must once again thank DraughtJunkman for his help and involvement in my work. Thank you for your enriching and stimulating comments!
Chapter 12 - Pressures and Temptation
"How could you do such a horrible thing? That poor boy… he didn't deserve that fate."
"He deserved it! He shouldn't have touched me like he did! You should be glad I was able to defend myself!"
She didn't answer. So much the better. Azula took the opportunity to continue her path through the underground tunnel she had taken with Ty Lee a few hours earlier to sneak out of the palace.
She was climbing the steep slope for several minutes now and was starting to feel seriously out of breath. Her sprained ankle was greatly hampering her progress. No need to waste what little energy she had left arguing with her mother. She could have used her bending to propel herself forward as she had done to escape from the docks of the canal. But she was too exhausted and too upset. In her current state, it would cost her too much to produce more than the little flickering flame she was using to light her way.
Ursa had suddenly appeared around half an hour ago.
Azula had screamed in fear as she heard her voice come out of the darkness behind her.
It had been over a year since she had seen or heard her. She had come to wonder if she really remembered her face. Before falling asleep, she often felt the need to look at the portrait she had stolen from Ursa's apartments a few months after her return to the palace, and which she hid under her pillow. She brushed the surface of the paper, tarnished by the years, with her long, perfectly manicured fingers, like Mom's. Watching it, she hoped to fix her image in her mind forever.
How was Mum now? Had she aged? Was she even still alive? Was she thinking of Azula?
She had always thought it would be a relief to be rid of her hallucinations. Of all her hallucinations. But in truth, she had felt lost when Ursa stopped visiting her. The only bond she had with the woman who had given birth to her was broken. Was this how Zuko felt? Even though she had been jealous of their relationship her entire life, it had been her that Mom had been visiting for the past four years. Zuko must have settled for his memories.
Sometimes the idea of stopping her treatment to see her again, if only once, crossed her mind. But she was too afraid of the demons her sick brain could produce if she tried.
It didn't matter now. Treatment or not, the voices had returned.
It started after the incident with Zuko. She had noticed when she had stopped taking her drug for almost a week. They had returned, step by step, to comment on her thoughts, her gestures, tirelessly repeating her ideas.
Panicked, she had agreed to receive Taïma to obtain her medication. The voices fell silent again.
But they had returned recently, and their tone and inflection had grown more precise, taking on the accents of people she knew.
From the moment they started to manifest again, she had expected Mum to reappear. She had made her wait, to surprise her at the worst time. Like she always did.
When her voice called her into the dark tunnel that brought her home, Azula froze violently. She had to sit down first for her heart to return to normal. Eyes wide open, she had seen her mother's face appear in the darkness, step by step, her head floating in the air, as if detached from her body.
Then a hand had emerged from a long-flared sleeve to caress Azula's tear-soaked face.
"Azula... Baby ...Are you lost again?"
Unable to make sense of what she was seeing, Azula remained on the ground, both hands clenched in the dirt ground, her chest heaving rapidly to the rhythm of her breathing.
"Where were you?" she suddenly sobbed as her mother's body materialized and hugged her. "Where were you all this time? I looked for you! I haven't stopped looking for you!"
She had plunged her amber gaze into her mother's beautiful clear eyes and shyly raised a hand to place it on the apparition's cheek. She met no resistance and only a draft of cold air brushed her palm.
"I've always been there my baby. I never stopped being there."
She stayed like that for a moment, sitting in the dark, crying on the shoulder of her mother's ghost.
Then Ursa let go. Once she had recovered from her emotions, Azula resumed her way, followed by her mother.
Since then, Ursa had not stopped harassing her, chatting, remonstrating to her. Azula didn't know exactly what she had hoped for. Her mother certainly wasn't going to miss this opportunity to remind her what a monster she was!
"Maybe he wouldn't have done this if you hadn't encouraged him."she reproached her as Azula clung to the rope that served as a ramp to aid her ascent.
You little slut!
"I didn't encourage him! It was he who asked to kiss me!"
"You should know better, at your age, that a man would never settle for a kiss. If you didn't want to, why did you accept?"
Azula fell silent. She didn't want to talk about Zuko with her mother.
Ursa had remained mysteriously silent on this subject. If she knew what had happened with Kojiro, she should also have known about her and Zuko, right?
"It is very improper for a princess to stroll at night with a man who is neither her father, nor her brother, nor her husband. You should know that. You can only blame yourself. This poor boy just followed his instincts. The poor... such a pretty boy..." she repeated.
Azula didn't answer again but the wince that twisted her lips betrayed both her shame and pain. She hadn't expected her mother to support her. But to hear her put all the blame on her! She had never wanted what had happened by the canal.
Only the desire to make her brother suffer had led her to accept this kiss. How could she have guessed what was to follow? After all father hadn't kissed her when he...
No! No! Shut up! Shut your mouth!
Azula covered her ears with her hands and closed her eyes tightly to chase away the memory that threatened to overwhelm her from the moment Kojiro laid on top of her.
She hadn't meant to hurt him. She had lost control of her nerves, that's all… like with Zuko that day when he first visited her in the asylum.
What if Zuko had wanted to go further that night with you? The night of the political summit? If he had been more enterprising, would you have burned him too?
She refused to imagine such a scenario. She loved Zuko. It was different, wasn't it? And then he was the Fire Lord. Wasn't it his right to make use of her as it pleased him?
She hadn't burned father, did she? No, it was he who had...
"It's like with your father," Ursa continued, as if she had read her mind. "You give men too much hope. You should have been more careful. You act like it's been the worst day of your life. But maybe that was what you wanted in the end? After all you've done to please him, to get into his good graces… You were ready to have your brother imprisoned for him, to kill for him. How can you complain about what he did to you after that?"
Azula was speechless. She interrupted her ascent and turned to her mother; her mouth half open, short of breath.
How can she think for a moment that… I never wanted… He was so strong! So heavy on her frail teenage body.
When he had called her, she had thought it was only to congratulate her on protecting him so well from the invasion.
She prepared to answer, but all that broke her lips was this dismal attempt at defense, barely stammered: "I…I didn't know. I swear I didn't know..."
"You seriously injured an innocent person. You may have killed him. While he saved you from those madmen who trampled on you! You are a monster, Azula. What is wrong with you?"
"I don't know!" she confessed in a very small voice, lowering her head to look at her feet.
She struggled with tears for a moment and made the small flame that shone in her left hand disappear to wipe her eyes.
She shouldn't have answered when her mother started talking to her. She knew better. She had to learn to control herself again. Like at the asylum. No one should know that she had gone crazy again. Zuko was going to send her back there if he found out. He would have been only too happy to take the opportunity to send her away now that she embarrassed him so much.
Already, Taïma was suspicious. Azula had guessed it by the looks she gave her. Like the way her large turquoise eyes had rested on her during their last interview. Or when she had taken her hand in hers under the pretext of measuring her pulse. She had squeezed it tighter than necessary, as if she was afraid the princess would fall or disappear in front of her.
Once or twice, Ty Lee's sleepy voice had arisen in the darkness of the room asking Azula to repeat what she had just said, or who she was talking to. Azula got away with the excuse that she must have been dreaming. People sometimes said or heard strange things in such an absentminded state. Ty Lee herself sometimes mumbled inconsistent words from the cot that Azula had installed for her in her room.
Azula soon arrived at a crossroads. She knew she had to go left. The path continued to climb but on a gentler slope this time. Her mother always followed her.
"Didn't you know what you were doing when you tried to seduce your brother that night, either?" sheresumed after a long pause.
Of course, she knew about it. How could it have been otherwise when the whole country seemed to know what had happened? As if the whole Fire Nation had been in the bathroom with them when she knelt in front of her brother.
Did Zuzu feel the same as her? When she had wanted to take him in her mouth, had he felt violated, like when Kojiro had inserted his finger into her? She had never thought of that.
He wanted to. He had gotten really hard, as Ty Lee said. Like Kojiro by the canal, like father when...
Stop with that! Rebuild the wall, rebuild the wall right now!
"Yes, but you too let Kojiro stroke and kiss you. You wanted it, didn't you?" the spectrum of Ursa asked, still hounding her.
"I just wanted to enrage Zuko…" she defended herself miserably, not realizing that she had spoken out loud.
"You've always chosen the wrong way to achieve your purposes my daughter. Why are you unable to be honest and sincere? You are exactly like your deceitful father."
"I'm trying to do better. Really Mother, I am doing my best!" she implored her.
"Then try harder."
Face darker than ever, Azula continued on her way. She stopped listening to the interminable remonstrances that this pale imitation of her mother mumbled behind her.
It's not real, she kept telling herself, it's not real.
After about fifteen minutes, she finally arrived in front of an opening cut into the rock, three feet above the ground. She pulled herself up painfully, wincing: it was still hard for her to lean on her ankle. She crawled along the gut on all fours and pushed aside a heavy tapestry that separated her from her destination with her head. She finally arrived in a circular room with red walls adorned with worn out tapestries. The colors had long since faded. The subjects depicted on the canvases were almost indistinguishable. Torches hung on the walls, waiting for a firebender to ignite them. For the moment, they were still all aflame since Ty Lee and Azula had used the passage a few hours earlier when they had left the palace.
Trunks were stacked against the walls. She knew that they contained essential items in the case of an unforeseen flight: provisions of dried fruit and meats, spices, bags of gold, clothes, blankets, weapons...
These secret passages had been laid out in Sozin's time so that the royal family could escape in the event of an attack or an invasion. Only family members knew their location. And Ty Lee of course.
With a cautious gesture, she let herself slide along the wall, taking care not to lean on her weakened foot. She turned to watch her mother extract herself from the hole in the wall and waited for her to come down so that she could go behind her and replace the tapestry that hid the passage. But Ursa didn't move. She just stared at her daughter with a sorry and melancholic look.
"Are you coming or not?" she asked irritably. "Have you been following me all this time to stay in this rat hole?"
Her mother curled up in the hole and replied: "No one should see me. Don't worry. I'm still with you anyway."
Eyes wide, Azula saw her figure slowly evaporate and disappear altogether.
"Mom!" she cried, rushing towards her. But she forgot her ankle and her leg collapsed under her weight. She found herself kneeling on the floor and looked up at the secret passage.
Ursa had disappeared.
Don't be a fool. She has not disappeared. She has never been there. You've been all alone from the start!
Azula stood as best she could and went to sit on a trunk.
She tried to catch her breath and calm the beating of her heart which was pounding furiously in her chest.
Should she go back to her room? Wait here for Ty Lee to return? What if she met someone in the hallways?
What a fiasco! A sprained ankle, a rib probably cracked, a gash on the cheek. And maybe the blood of an innocent man on her hands. Simply to make her brother jealous! Her brother who didn't care how many boys would climb on her. Her brother who despised and hated her.
The memory of Kojiro's heavy, imposing body hunched over her suddenly came to her mind. And the sharp pain and her sense of panic when she had felt him insert a finger inside her.
How could she ever be with Zuko if she couldn't stand a man touching her?
Still sitting on her trunk, she buried her head in her hands and wept.
When she returned to her rooms an hour later, a little recovered from her emotions, she didn't look at the two guards watching her door and staring at her with large round eyes. She suppressed a sneer as she imagined their surprise and dismay. The princess they claimed to be defending at the cost of their lives and whose door they so meticulously guarded had in fact spent the evening outside.
They pretended not to see her swaying gait and messy hair. They also ignored the black streaks the tears had left on her cheeks and opened the door for her without a word. When they closed it behind her, she stood for a moment in the middle of the room, staring on the marble floor where the moon was casting its ghostly light.
Suddenly she heard a rubbing noise in the darkness in front of her.
Panicked, she made a graceful wave of her hand and the torches all around her flared up, bathing the room in a bluish and mysterious atmosphere.
"Good evening Azula."
She quickly turned her head towards the origin of the voice and came face to face with Zuko who was sitting on the edge of her bed, his crown on his head, fully dressed as he was that very afternoon. He held a shiny item in his hands and Azula had time to perceive a silvery glow when the moonlight outside reflected on it.
Her heart leapt violently in her chest.
"Are you... what are you doing here?" she asked him.
Are you real? she added silently to herself.
After all, with the events of the evening, Ursa's return, it was most likely a trick of her imagination reeling from her misadventures. The somewhat unreal atmosphere created by the blue light around them reinforced this impression.
"I was waiting for you," her brother said in a tone devoid of any warmth, getting up to approach her.
Azula's eyes fell on the object he was holding in his hands and she could identify it: it was her own Fire Nation princess crown that she had left on her dresser before going out with Ty Lee.
"You forgot that." He said, handing her the ornament.
Azula didn't make a move to take it, too confused to know how to react. What was he doing here? What did he want from her? Was he even real?
"You came to give me an object I already had in my possession?"
"I came to tell you about what happened this afternoon, in the patio."
The tone was unequivocal. Frowning, his face closed, he regarded her with an expression of undisguised fury.
In the end, it must be him. The Zuko of her fantasies and the Zuko of her nightmares behaved quite differently.
Suddenly exhausted, she turned her back on him and walked over to her night hanger to pick up the scarlet dressing gown that was hanging from it.
"Not now Zuko please. I'm really not in the mood for an argument."
She felt a fist close on her slender wrist before realizing he had moved.
"I came here to see you. I waited for hours in the dark. I lied to Mai to come here, so now you'll listen to me and carefully!"
With a recoil, she freed herself from his grip. A strange glint in her brother's eyes and the bossy tone he had used had scared her for a moment. When he would talk to her in that peremptory tone, dressed in the regalian outfit of Fire Lord, he reminded her...
"You pretend you want to silence the rumors about us but what do you think they're going to say when they find out you spent half the evening in my rooms?"
"I went through the secret passage," he explained. "The guards don't know I'm here."
They remained still for a moment, face to face, looking at each other, not knowing what to say to each other. Finally, Azula, feeling herself blushing, broke the eye-contact and painfully walked towards her screen to remove her clothes.
"You're limping" she heard him say behind her back.
It was not a question but an observation.
"Don't care! I sprained my ankle this afternoon during training. Bad reception."
"You never miss a landing," he retorted, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "You always calculate everything to perfection."
"It seems that lately I've been more distracted. There are a lot of things that I miscalculate..."
They fell silent again, both equally embarrassed. Azula disappeared behind the screen and began to remove her clothes, wincing painfully as the movements strained her cracked ribs.
"Tell me what you have to say, Zuko. And leave. I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy to fight with you," she told him, her voice rising beyond the screen that hid her from his eyes.
"Any particular reason you're so tired? A hectic night? Is that why you limp?" Then, bursting into mirthless laughter, he added: "Maybe you should choose your partners better in the future. This one seems to not have been particularly delicate."
Behind her screen, Azula clenched her jaw and fists. But a curious impression softened her anger. Had she only imagined the hint of jealousy and bitterness in her brother's voice? Another day, she would have jumped at the chance to tease him, as she had done on his birthday night. But not tonight, not after all this... She felt drained.
"I will be sure to call on your wise advice next time my dear brother, don't worry." she replied simply.
She stepped out from behind the screen, knotting her large golden belt around her waist and walked over to her dressing table to grab her brush. She sat down on the stool in front of the console and began to untangle her hair. Zuko's reflection appeared in the mirror in front of her, the same annoyed expression imprinted on each of his features.
"Are you going to stay here, watching me untangle my hair and attend my bedtime? Maybe you plan to read me a fairy tale or sing a little lullaby to help me fall asleep?"
"Have you slept with him?"
The question had arisen without preamble, with an abruptness -Azula was sure of it- that he doubtless already regretted.
In the mirror, she saw him look away. She was almost certain he had blushed. But the dim bluish light that bathed the room did not allow confirmation.
She stayed silent for a moment, considering the possibility of lying. She continued to comb through a few strands slowly, without taking her eyes off her brother's refection.
It would have been so exhilarating to see his face scowl as she answered in the affirmative, emphasizing the prodigious skills of her one-night partner. But she was still too upset by her experience with Kojiro to play this game.
She evaded: "I thought you came to tell me about Mai and the patio or whatever. So go ahead, I'll listen to you." She ordered, grabbing a piece of tissue which she soaked in scented water to remove makeup. She made a small grimace of pain when she touched the gash on her cheek and felt her stomach capsize as she thought about what had happened by the canal.
Zuko straightened up and tried awkwardly to restore to a confident posture.
"What you did earlier, the way you behaved in front of Mai, it was…"
"…Yes?" She said finally, seeing that he did not finish his sentence.
He took a deep breath and said:
"It was extremely inappropriate. Mai didn't like your innuendos at all. She was furious with you and me. I'm warning you Azula: I will not let you break up my marriage. I came to tell you this. Don't force me to make a choice."
"What choice exactly?" She asked, positively bewildered, after carefully listening to him spread his grievances. "How can you even pretend... in what world have I ever been a choice?"
She couldn't control the trembling of her lips, nor the tears that were forming at the edges of her eyelids. Zuko must have noticed, because his shoulders sagged and he suddenly lost the confidence he had just shown. In the mirror she saw him take a step towards her and raise a hand, as if to rest it on her shoulder. But he refrained just in time.
"You know I care about you…" he whispered so weakly that she almost didn't hear him.
He nervously turned the crown between his trembling fingers.
"No!" It was only anger now. Leaving her chair, she suddenly stood up to face him. "No, I don't know! You've been avoiding me for weeks and you only talk to me to blame me! How would I know? You've used all of your energy over the past month to make me understand that you would rather have me out of your life! And as soon as I turn my back on you, as soon as I have the misfortune to take an interest in someone else, you come running back for me. All this, only to push me away again! Stop lying to me Zuko and stop lying to yourself! We both know why you're really here tonight, and that has nothing to do with Mai!"
Zuko listened to her, his golden eyes widened with astonishment and, Azula would have sworn, with the shame that she could so easily see right in him.
"It's not… not at all what I…" he stammered stupidly. "I… don't take your desires for reality Azula!" He finished in a voice he piteously tried to make more confident.
"Oh, don't worry, Zuzu! I don't expect anything from you anymore. I'm done taking beatings for nothing. Now go away!"
And for added emphasis, she made a deep blue dagger appear in her clenched fist.
Zuko didn't seem impressed. He just looked at her, looking a little confused, but didn't back down. She guessed that her tearful face and the uncontrolled shaking of her shoulders didn't help make her threats believable.
"I never meant to hurt you Zula..." he said in the same weak, pitiful little voice that exasperated her so much. "It's just... what you want... I can't give it to you..."
"Don't call me that!" She cried in a shrill voice that she was ashamed of. Then trying to regain some composure: "And what exactly do you think I want from you? I'm not the only one to delude myself apparently!" she laughed mirthlessly.
"Stop lying Azula."
She didn't answer and looked down. The fire dagger vanished as it had appeared.
"I just came to ask you to stay away" her brother announced as a judge announces his sentence. "We've been too close lately and it's not healthy… we each have to live our lives. We are no longer children."
"What life are you talking about Zuko? You have your friends; you have your wife. You have your crown! But what do I have?"
She couldn't stop her voice from breaking at the words and tears were now running profusely down her freshly cleansed cheeks.
"You have friends Azula. You have Ty Lee. And I will always be there for you. But we can't spend so much time together anymore." He paused and took the opportunity to get even closer. "I think you're confused. It's better for both of us if we see each other a little less."
"Alright, let's get started then! Good night Zuko!"
She furiously wiped the tears away from her cheeks and walked as quickly as she could to her bathroom. But she had forgotten her ankle again and she collapsed. Zuko reacted just in time to receive her. He held her in his arms for a moment and helped her up. Then he released her very quickly, as if he was afraid of burning himself. Or get dirty.
"I don't want to leave you alone in such a state."
"You didn't have a problem the last time!" She accused him.
A flash of confusion crossed his golden eyes and he blushed before resuming in a hesitant voice: "Exactly. I don't want to repeat the same mistake. Listen to me Azula. I'm not rejecting you. I just think we should avoid the one-on-one moments. At least until things calm down and everything becomes less... confusing ... for you."
He had spoken in a very calm and gentle tone and Azula had to struggle fiercely against the urge to hit him... or throw herself into his arms.
"So why are you still here?" She asked instead. "You said what you had to say. Why don't you run away to find your wife?"
Zuko looked down and swallowed hard. He stared a hole into the carpet under his pointy toed boots, as if there was nothing more fascinating in the world. Then, finally, after several seconds of heavy silence, he whispered: "I don't know."
It was Azula's turn to find herself at a loss for words. Her shoulders slumped as she turned a face full of incomprehension to him.
The atmosphere changed suddenly. Around them, the blue flames changed color and took on a very soft orange tone.
Zuko sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, looking overwhelmed, his face plunging into his wide-open palms. Slowly, he lifted his head to see, through his spread fingers, Azula who had approached him timidly, balancing herself by holding onto the pillar of her four-poster bed.
Zuko dropped his hands to his knees, straightened his shoulders, and gazed into hers.
Azula was deeply troubled. She couldn't decipher the conflicting thoughts she saw parading through her brother's golden irises.
Get out of my life? I miss you? You disgust me? I want you?
Zuko's admission of ignorance had caused Azula to lose all fighting spirit.
After a long time, in a small, weak voice, she declared: "Nothing happened with this boy..."
Zuko stared at her, as if trying to flush out the lie in the amber eyes. An indecipherable expression was spread over his scar-ravaged face.
"Very well…" he answered simply in a very low voice.
"Neither with the other, the night of your birthday." She thought it necessary to add.
"Okay."
Was it relief, disbelief or indifference that gave her brother's voice that slightly strange and uncertain inflection?
Without blinking, Azula stepped forward a little further. She found herself standing in front of him, arms dangling, close enough that they could touch each other.
Did he feel the same urgent desire to hug her? The tension in the room was at its height. If she concentrated well, Azula could hear the palpitations of his heart which was pounding violently between his ribs. In her throat, her own pulse throbbed so furiously that Zuko must see it despite the surrounding faint glow.
It was he who initiated the contact.
Raising a hand to his sister's right cheekbone, his thumb lightly stroked the small, deep gash that Kojiro's fingernails had left when he had desperately struggled to survive.
"Where did you get this?" he whispered.
"It's nothing. I hit a branch as I left the palace."
He was about to drop his hand to the side, but Azula immediately raised hers to keep it against her cheek. Her brother did not protest. Then, very slowly, she rotated her face in Zuko's hand. She brushed her lips to his palm and began to apply delicate little kisses to it without taking her eyes off him.
Zuko stayed still. He didn't make a move to free himself and Azula saw a strange glow shine in his pupils as he watched, fascinated, as his sister's mouth pressed against his curled knuckles. Laying the crown next to him on the bed, he wrapped his free hand around Azula's waist and pulled her towards him.
She let out a small gasp of surprise and let go of the hand she still held against her cheek. His hand then joined the other around her waist and Zuko embraced her. He pulled her even closer to him, so that she found herself standing between his legs. He buried his face in the back of her neck, holding her tightly against him. He took a deep breath and released the air out of his lungs in a shaky breath in which he whispered Azula's name.
Closing her eyelids, she pressed her mouth to Zuko's ruined cheek and kissed his scar, her arms wrapped around her brother's neck. They remained in silence for a few delicious seconds, each seeking the comfort they needed in the other's arms and warmth.
After a long time, she heard Zuko whisper something in her ear: "I missed you."
His hot breath brushed Azula's skin and she shivered, tightening her embrace. Her eyes still closed, she whispered in turn: "Stay with me tonight."
She felt him move slightly in her arms but those around her waist didn't move to let go.
"No..." he replied in a very low voice.
"Just tonight! Nobody needs to know!" she implored in a whisper, stepping back slightly to plunge her fiery eyes into his. She put one hand on Zuko's ruined cheek, the other still wrapped around his neck to force him to look at her. "Nobody knows you're here and Mai thinks I'm out."
"No…" he repeated even lower. But the fiery flame in his golden eyes and the way his hands were now running down Azula's lower back and hips screamed otherwise.
"I'll do whatever you want. Stay Zuzu, please."
"Azula..." he protested, "We can't..."
"Stay." It was more an order than a prayer.
He responded with a deep sigh and pulled her sharply towards him to sit her on his lap. When she had settled astride in front of him, he took her head in his hands and began to cover her face with eager kisses. On cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, mouth, hardly giving Azula time to respond.
"Zuko..." she managed to whisper in his ear as he went down to her neck which he kissed longer, biting into her flesh a little, making Azula shiver. At the same time, two greedy hands rested on her hips and grabbed tightly onto them, as if to prevent her from retreating.
He suddenly hoisted her higher on his thighs. His face was now level with Azula's chest. He buried it there without hesitation. A strangled moan escaped the princess's throat as he began to press hot, eager lips between her two breasts.
Without really knowing what she was doing, she instinctively put her shaking hands to her belt and began to untie it. The robe fell open, revealing part of her bare chest.
Zuko helped her by pulling on the flaps of her robe which fell on her shoulders and a hand with nervous but avid fingers slipped under the silk and cupped a breast which he began to massage under his palm, never interrupting his kisses. His other hand traced circles on her lower back, then crept into the collar of Azula's robe.
Azula encouraged him by running her long fingers with sharped nails through his hair, untying it, whispering her brother's name over and over again.
Between her legs, she felt Zuko's desire growing. Nothing could be heard, except the sucking sound of her brother's kisses and Azula's increasingly short breath. Her mishap by the canal seemed to belong to a distant past or to someone else's life. She was about to close her eyes to surrender to these unknown but terribly pleasant sensations when a great metallic noise echoed through the silence of the night.
Azula jumped away from her brother. She had just enough time to capture the horrified expression on his face before turning around and seeing the door wide open.
Ty Lee stood in the doorway; an expression of deep dismay imprinted on each of her features.
A heavy silence ensued. It was Azula who broke it.
"Oh Ty Lee, there you are! I was worried that I wouldn't see you coming back. You… you can come in. Zuko was going to go anyway. He had come to tell me about a new decree to be ratified as a matter of urgency. Isn't it Zuko?"
Two distraught gray eyes stared at the princess, then wandered to Zuko, still sitting on the bed, a few inches from his sister, his face flushed.
Azula followed the line of her friend's gaze and her eyes fell to her own chest. She turned scarlet when she discovered with horror the widely indented collar of her robe and her partially untied belt, which largely exposed her breasts and part of her stomach.
She hastily closed the flaps of her robe over her chest. At the same time, next to her, Zuko loudly cleared his throat.
"Yes, absolutely..." he stammered awkwardly, rushing into the lie. "Uh I... I will present the corrected text to you tomorrow and we will discuss the adjustments we can make to it."
"P-perfect!"Azula replied, tightening her belt around her waist.
Zuko stood up and quickly crossed the room, not daring to glance in Ty Lee's direction.
In his haste he dropped an object to the ground. The ringing caught the attention of the three people in the room. Azula recognized her crown that Zuko had forgotten on the bed. Zuko ducked but Ty Lee was faster and grabbed it. She looked at it curiously for a moment and approached Azula to whom she handed it without a word. The princess took it and watched her brother walk towards the door, deeply frustrated. Then she suddenly remembered:
"Zuko! The passage!"
Zuko, one hand on the doorknob, suddenly turned and his eyes widened in horror at what would have happened if the guards had seen him leave Azula's chambers again at such a late hour. Without a word he turned around and with a last glance at his sister, he rushed into the passage from which he had come.
Left alone with Ty Lee, Azula nervously twiddled the crown between her fingers, unable to look up at her friend who was staring at her with an intensity and gravity that she had never seen before.
A heavy silence settled between them and swelled until it became deafening.
Neither of them dared to break it and Azula had the impression that she was going to scream if no one spoke.
So she launched out: "How was your evening? I looked for you by the canal, but you weren't there."
"Hikaru and I lost sight of you in the square where this weird guy came to give his speech." Azula noted that her voice was full of an unusual coldness. "We left when the crowd started to disperse. I worried about you. Was Kojiro with you? We haven't found him either."
"No, we were separated by the crowd and as I could not find anyone, I went to the docks. I waited for you but since you weren't coming, I came back to the palace."
As always, lying came easily to her.
"And you ran into Zuko? Or was he waiting for you in your room?" She asked suspiciously.
Ty Lee might seem naive and superficial at first, but Azula knew her well enough to know that she could also be very perceptive.
"We passed each other in the hallway when I came home, and he followed me here to tell me about his decree. I thought he would never leave!" She added exasperatedly, rolling her eyes for more emphasis.
"I see. And this decree was hidden in your robe or perhaps you were looking for a feather to sign it?" the young warrior ironized.
She had seen. No need to lie.
They looked at each other for a moment, gauging each other, as if they were discovering the other for the first time. Azula could clearly see disgust and disappointment displayed in her friend's gray eyes.
Silence fell again.
"Azula…" Ty Lee whispered after a moment. The tone she used was almost pleading.
"No. Don't say anything Ty Lee!" she cut sharply. "Don't say a word!"
Ty Lee obeyed and looked down on her feet.
Azula turned her back on her, put her crown on her bedside and walked stiffly towards the bathroom.
She returned after a quick washing, without looking at Ty Lee who had sat on her cot, her back straight, cross-legged. She crossed the room to her bed and slipped into her silk sheets.
Amber eyes met misty eyes. Each held the other's gaze for a few seconds. Then Azula grabbed the curtain of her four-poster bed and pulled vigorously on it to escape the accusing and annoyed look of the only friend she had in the world.
On the secret path that brought him back to his own apartments, Zuko decided to take a break. He sat down against the stone wall and put his head in his hands.
He couldn't find Mai now. Not in such a state. He was still short of breath, his erection hadn't stopped, and his nostrils were still full of the scent of her hair: a subtle blend of spices, jasmine and smoke. He could still feel the intoxicating sensation of her full curves and the softness of her silky skin in his hands.
You can't lie to yourself anymore, now. If Ty Lee hadn't arrived, you would have done it!
What was wrong with him? To wait for Azula in her room in the middle of the night!
At the time, the lie he had invented for Mai had struck him as plausible and even clever. Anyway, he only intended to speak with Azula, to make her understand that her provocative attitude had been unacceptable. He wasn't thinking badly!
I just wanted to fix things, that's all.
But now he could see that his lie was not credible. What if he didn't have time to warn Kadao before Mai ran into him the next day? What if his already suspicious wife had followed him somehow? She was the palace's spy master, and she herself had no lack of skills in spying.
You never intended to fix things with Azula. You just wanted to make sure she came back to you. That she didn't offer herself to that asshole Ty Lee introduced to her!
Yes. He had been afraid. Afraid that a nasty man will take advantage of his little sister. It was very natural, wasn't it? Any big brother would do that, right? And wasn't it his role as both elder brother, and Fire Lord, to watch over the princess's virtue?
Are you somehow afraid that she might feel desire for other men than you?
The less brilliant part of his conversation with Taïma, a few hours earlier, came back to him. He had been furious with the healer for daring to utter such insinuations.
Guilt suddenly overwhelmed him. How could he look at himself in a mirror? How could he still wear his crown now? How could one entrust the responsibility of the most powerful nation in the world to such a fickle and impulsive man?
It was Taïma's fault. She was the one who had pushed him to this desperate situation with her stupid questions!
By entering Azula's apartments, he had wanted to prove to himself that she was wrong, that her words did not reach him. The fact he was a little possessive of Azula proved absolutely nothing. He was going to wait for Azula, talk to her, remind her of her place, and if she somehow tried to seduce him, he would dash her hopes. He would show her that he was not a monster! He was not like her!
He closed his eyes to fight the tears of rage he felt forming in his throat. He couldn't think of anything else than the dazzling whiteness of the breast he had stroked, the taste of her skin under his eager lips.
He couldn't find Mai now. Not in such a state.
Seized with a deep disgust for himself, he slowly slipped a hand into his pants and relieved himself without ceasing for a moment to think of the forbidden body he had held in his hands.
His little sister's body.
Ty Lee couldn't help but stare at the princess every time she looked away.
The look on her face was as impenetrable as ever, but sometimes Ty Lee could have sworn she saw the flash of a smile illuminate it. A strange smile, both devilish and serene. The kind of smile that could only appear on the face of someone as complex and tortured as Azula was.
They had not exchanged a word about the strange evening she had returned, deeply worried after losing track of the princess, and found her in her brother's arms, in an embrace that could hardly be considered fraternal.
It was hard for her to fight the feeling of disgust and betrayal that had crept into her the second she realized that, from the start, Azula was lying to her to cover up the fact that she wanted her own brother.
And to think that she had supported her! That she had advised her and explained to her how to seduce him. Ty Lee felt tainted, betrayed, and manipulated.
It wasn't a new feeling when it came to Azula.
The elusive behavior of the mysterious chosen one, that had so outraged her at first, when Azula had reported the scene to her, made sense now.
Zuko had been right to push her away. No doubt he had done it awkwardly. And he shouldn't have let her mope alone in her room where she had gradually slipped into depression.
Yes, he had lacked discernment, but she could understand his rejection. How else could a man feel whose sister had made such improper advances?
But in the end, Zuko was no better than his sister. On the way home, she hadn't stopped thinking about Azula's silent revelation in the little square when Ty Lee finally understood.
How could she have been so slow to figure out what was obvious to everyone? Ty Lee, with her legendary optimism and her equally notorious naivety, had not wanted to recognize the signs, the clues of the sinister and twisted relationship that had gradually grown between the siblings. Who could have predicted that desire and such a destructive passion would arise from the ashes of their hatred and rivalry?
They had never been able to have normal feelings for each other.
It was all Azula. She could only do things in the extreme, the absolute.
From the couch she was laying on, she looked at the Fire Princess, kneeling in front of the coffee table, busy writing letters on the sunny patio. Once again Ty Lee thought that she might have guessed what was going on between the siblings. After all, there could be many reasons Azula sought love and happiness in her brother's arms.
He was handsome, smart, powerful. He had the power that Azula had always wanted. But he was also kind to her, generous and loving. He had forgiven her, cared for her, had been patient and loving when she was at her lowest.
Although everybody in their nation worshiped her once, Azula had sorely lacked love in her life. It was no longer a secret. Everyone was aware that first, the indifference and then her mother's abandonment had deeply hurt the princess. Even though Azula hardly spoke of Ursa anymore, Ty Lee knew it was a wound that would never heal. The same for Ozai's love... it wasn't love. It was an unhealthy interest, a dangerous and deadly obsession that had driven Azula over the edge of insanity.
Yes, she thought she could understand.
But Zuko?
All evening, while Hikaru tried to get her attention by any means, she had remained distant, unable to think of anything else than the two remaining members of the royal family.
As she couldn't make the most of the evening, she apologized to Hikaru and, after kissing him softly on the lips, announced her intention to find her friend whom she worried about having lost.
The young soldier hadn't really made an effort to hide his disappointment and reluctantly let her go, after making her promise they would meet again. He had returned home, not caring about Kojiro who was also missing.
Finally alone, she had returned to the underground passage which was to bring her back to the palace and had time to meditate on her discovery. Maybe she was wrong? Maybe she had misinterpreted the expression on Azula's face?
Still, if she had been right, she could at least reassure herself by convincing herself that Zuko would never encourage Azula's fantasies. Of course, the princess would inevitably be hurt. But everyone could recover from a heartache.
Zuko might have been a little weak at the time, and clumsy. The alcohol mustn't have helped. But he was happy with Mai. He was a trustworthy man despite his fiery temper, and a shrewd and accomplished ruler. She had no doubt that he would never let that kind of thing happen again. He would watch over his sister's feelings.
So it was impossible to describe her dismay, dread and deep disappointment when she walked back to Azula's apartments and saw Zuko, whose face was literally buried in his sister's chest, like a starving man, a hand resting on her lower back, the other rummaging greedily in her robe. And Azula, lascivious, gripping her brother's head tightly to hold him against her.
Her stomach turned, like every time she thought about it. She would not be complicit in this crime.
They hadn't mentioned it. Azula had carefully avoided the subject.
It had been three days.
All Azula had agreed to tell her about that strange night was the horrifying speech of the mysterious orator in the square where their little group had split up.
The Sons of Agni worried Azula a lot.
"We cannot allow such agitators to endanger Zuko's power and reputation. This is sedition!" She had said vigorously to a Ty Lee who was listening to her patiently, for the third time, while she related the words of the nauseating speech that had been delivered that evening.
A reputation that you only confirm by trying to seduce him.
Ty Lee would never dare to voice such a reproach out loud. She knew this was a hornet's nest, and she didn't want to risk spoiling her friendship with Azula by pointing out how crazy she was just to imagine that she could become her brother's lover.
"I don't think you really need to worry about it," Ty Lee said, for the tenth time at least in three days. "It is only a small group which, for the moment, is satisfied with peaceful demonstrations."
"You weren't there Ty Lee! It was not peaceful! When the Imperial Guard arrived, believe me, they fought back! It created a real movement of panic! I know something about it!" She reminded her friend, pointing to her ankle which was held in a brace.
Ty Lee hadn't insisted, not wanting to point out Azula's contradictions. Three days earlier, she hardly cared about politics and not once since her arrival had the princess spoken to her about the troubles that were shaking the Earth Kingdom and the Capital.
Now it had become their only topic of conversation. This and…
"Have you heard from Kojiro?" Azula asked, slipping her letter into an envelope which she sealed with wax she had melted with her own bending.
The tone was clear, almost indifferent. But Ty Lee noticed how the princess had looked up at her, betraying a genuine interest in that question she had already asked once.
"Not yet. Hikaru hasn't seen him since our evening. But he's not worried. Apparently, it often happens that he disappears for days on end."
"Very well," Azula said, grabbing her brush again to write the address on the envelope she had just sealed.
Ty Lee frowned. Why did Azula care for what happened to Kojiro when she had taken every opportunity to evade him? All this to run into her brother's arms.
The acrobat was certain that this interest in the young soldier had little to do with his charms, although she herself had not been indifferent to it. She wondered again what Azula was hiding from her about that strange night.
A long silence enveloped them during which Ty Lee watched Azula carefully put the envelope down next to her on the small table and grabbed a new parchment which she covered with her fine, clean, and neat handwriting.
Azula took longer to write this second letter which seemed to require intense reflection. Several times, she raised her brush and looked at the ceiling, contemplating thoughtfully before resuming her work, as if searching for inspiration.
Ty Lee laid down on the couch and waited. She amused herself for a moment by watching the small shimmer of sunlight that Azula's crown made dance on the wall as she wrote, her head tilted over her parchment.
It was also something new. Since arriving, Ty Lee had hardly seen Azula wearing the flame-shaped trident that adorned her dark hair. Most of the time she kept her hair loose or tied up in a sloppy bun, without any particular ornament, as if she had deemed herself unworthy of the title that the ornament represented.
She wondered if this sudden change was related to what had happened with Zuko.
In less than a week, Ty Lee will be leaving. But she was starting to consider the possibility of leaving sooner. Obviously, Azula didn't need her anymore.
She no longer hid in her room but wandered the alleys of the castle with the confidence she once possessed instead, giving orders to the guards and remonstrating to the servants who bowed very low, terrified at the idea to displeasing the Fire Princess.
Ty Lee had tried to see Mai, but the latter pretended being too busy to receive her. The young acrobat was hurt but she resonated, thinking that if Mai had known of Zuko's escapades, it was not so surprising that she was showing coldness towards the one who was so loyal to her rival.
What would they have said to each other anyway? Azula and Zuko were indefensible. And yet she felt that she could not bear to participate in the trial of her best friend.
Zuko had carefully avoided her since she walked in on them. She herself was in no hurry to see him. All she felt for him right now were disgust and contempt.
The sound of crumpled paper pulled her from her thoughts. Azula had finished writing her second letter and sealing the envelope that contained it.
She called the valet who was in the hall and who bowed very low in front of her.
"You will take this letter to General Kadao. Tell him that this is an urgent information that does not suffer any delay!" She ordered, handing him the first envelope.
The valet bowed again and grabbed the fold.
"And the second one, Princess? Who should I give it to?"
Azula looked at the letter for a moment as if hesitating to give it to him. She hugged her briefly. The movement had been so furtive that Ty Lee wondered if she hadn't imagined it.
Finally, Azula handed it to the young man:
"You will give it to Zuko. Make sure that it is delivered to him personally. I want no one else to see it."
Ty Lee immediately raised her head and her eyes fell into those of Azula who avoided her gaze. She saw the discomfort on the princess's features and noticed the slightly pink tint that colored her cheeks.
"Very well, Princess." The valet replied respectfully.
Ty Lee watched him bow deeply in front of them and when he straightened up, an oddity in his face called out to her, like a dissymmetry. She did not immediately understand what was wrong with this impenetrable figure. It was only when he had left through the arcades leading to the door that she got it.
"Did you see his eyes?" She asked absently.
"What?" said Azula, who obviously hadn't paid more attention to the valet than if he had been a common gnat.
"They weren't the same color." Ty Lee replied in the same distant tone.
"And? Since when do we care about the color of servants' eyes? Unless riffraff is your new fad? I thought the stable boy had been enough to put you off."
Azula's tone was full of the contempt she had always shown towards people of a lower rank.
Ty Lee didn't know whether to worry about it or not. Granted, she preferred it to the depressed version of Azula. But this new confidence made her less vulnerable, less understanding. Less human in a nutshell.
For three days, it seemed that Azula had returned to being the monster of coldness she was as a teenager. She hadn't had a friendly word for Ty Lee and when they went to bed, Azula in her large bed, Ty Lee in her cot set up next to the princess's, they hardly spoke to each other. As soon as she slipped under the silk blankets, Azula closed the curtains of her canopy and turned her back to her, shutting herself in silence.
"Forget it, it's nothing…" finally said Ty Lee who immediately stopped thinking about the valet. "How about a game of Pai Sho?" she eventually offered, eager to lighten the mood.
"Let's go to the royal spa instead. My nails haven't been groomed properly for weeks. We will take this opportunity to discuss your sudden interest in lower people. We absolutely have to fix that before you give us a little bastard!"
A smile spread across Ty Lee's lips, a genuine one. And, deciding to put her worries aside for a moment, she followed the princess who was already getting up and they headed to the royal spa.
A long spray of fire momentarily illuminated the darkened training yard.
It was followed by a succession of blinding beams springing from the fists he compulsively threw forward, like in a fight. The uproar caused by the explosions was so deafening that it drowned out his rabid howls.
The fury that had seized him that afternoon –when a worried Kadao had handed him the letter from Ba Sing Se– had not left him for a moment.
If Kuei wanted war, then he would have it.
His eyes had widened in horror as he scanned the official document, signed by the Earth King, which demanded the immediate extradition of Princess Azula. This on the grounds of the violation of a three long years old clause.
He could have chosen to ignore this letter. After all, nothing allowed Lu Fang and his troops to enter in the Fire Nation, let alone come and kidnap the princess.
But the threats that accompanied the request had him backed to the wall.
Darkly, he recalled his discussion with General Kadao that very day.
"How can you even suggest that I give in to such vile blackmail, General?" he burst, golden eyes opened wide.
"I'm not suggesting anything like that, Sire. I'm just saying that we need to take their threats seriously. The withdrawal of Kuei's police force from the settlements is a disaster for us. Our settlers are now exposed, unprotected from retribution."
"Didn't we send troops to pacify the region? And what about the White Lotus?"
"Unfortunately, our divisions alone are not enough to fill the void left by Lu Fang's troops."
"Then send more men!" Zuko ordered.
"It does not seem prudent to me, your Highness. I think it's necessary that we keep troops here in the Capital. More and more frequent disorder has been reported to me recently. The Sons of Agni are growing in popularity and..."
"I refuse to let these fanatics intimidate me, General! Don't give them any credit!"
"With all due respect, I don't agree, your Highness. According to my sources, the Sons of Agni are beginning to disturb public order and their propaganda is based on the degradation of your image. Your popularity is deteriorating a little more every day as the people are gradually encouraged to sedition."
"This problem can wait. There will always be time to apprehend the agitators later. For the moment, the urgency is to secure the settlements and protect Azula."
"Sire, the withdrawal of troops is not our only problem. It seems that Lu Fang organized a massive propaganda campaign in the settlements. The strategy they seem to be aiming for is… well…" he hesitated.
"What? Speak Kadao!"
"You know how much the princess is hated in the Earth Kingdom. Many settlers also hold her responsible for the abuses committed by the Fire Nation during the war and in particular for the destruction of their homes or their crops."
"So what? Are they using Azula's reputation to turn the settlers and the natives against us?"
"Among other things. But it's even more serious than that…" answered Kadao who seemed suddenly very embarrassed. "The truth is, they are using rumors about your relationship with the princess to discredit you. They invoke your amorality."
Zuko turned livid. The implication was all too clear.
Kadao continued, "The fact that the people believe in such abominations has a great detrimental effect on your image in the eyes of the settlers. People are worried that you have come so close to the one that brought their greatest city to its knees five years ago."
For the umpteenth time, Zuko marveled at the extent of the rumors, which wereat first mere gossips to which no one gave much credit. How could it be that a simple evening without witnesses, during which Azula and Zuko had let things get a little out of control, could lead to an open conflict in such a short time?
Zuko couldn't help but feel a deep resentment towards Mai. They wouldn't be in this situation if she hadn't tried to get rid of Azula with her intrigue. This feeling was instantly driven away by guilt when he remembered how he had betrayed Mai's trust again by giving in to his unnatural lusts the other night in his sister's room.
Forcing himself to get back to the conversation, he addressed his general, "What would we gain from handing over Azula?" He used a peremptory tone in order to make it clear that such a scenario was not an option but the question of a sovereign willing to explore all possibilities.
"Lu Fang promises to restore order in the colonies by sending back his troops and even to send reinforcements if we deliver the Princess to them."
Zuko blinked in amazement.
"Lu Fang is willing to take the risk of a civil war AND an open war against us just in order to get Azula's head?"
"I think you do not understand what the princess represents to the inhabitants and the rulers of the Earth Kingndom, Sire. Your sister somewhat embodies the oppression and tyranny that the Fire Nation exercised over other nations in the days of your father and your forefathers. She in some way the scapegoat that they intend to use to gain the confidence and passivity of their people."
"She was a child!" Zuko exclaimed. "She was not fifteen when she brought down Ba Sing Se! And it was a bloodless coup! Mai, Ty Lee and I are equally responsible for the downfall of Ba Sing Se, let alone the Dai Li! And no one is threatening us! Long Feng's former agents that Azula corrupted, sleep quietly in silken sheets in Kuei's palace and they are the first to have betrayed him!"
"I understand, your Highness, and you are right of course. Unfortunately, we find ourselves at an impasse. Lu Fang has found a way to turn your own people against you by blaming you for the insecurity in the settlements. He also probably hopes to stir up the anger of our citizens in the Capital at the same time by questioning your morality."
"By what means?" Zuko asked him, exhausted by all these political subtleties.
"By letting insecurity reign in the colonies, he is encouraging the influx of refugees to the Capital. Citizens fear these migrants and fear that they will steal their jobs and lands. This is why I would not be too quick to underestimate the threat of the Sons of Agni who take advantage of this climate to rise in popularity."
"I got it, Kadao. Convene the Council and the Fire Sages. We need to find a way to protect the migrants from the wrath of the people in the Capital. Aang and the others should arrive soon. With them we will find a solution."
"At your command, Sire. And what do we do for the princess?"
Zuko's face darkened even more if at all possible.
"Azula will stay here, with me. Whoever threatens her will pay with his life! Send the message to all my enemies, General."
A shadow passed in Kadao's gaze, who immediately resumed an impassive expression. He greeted the Fire Lord by pressing his fist against his palm and, after a bow, he turned on his heel and left the room.
The letter given by Kadao was now in the inside pocket of his jacket and it took all of his willpower to resist the temptation to burn it to ashes as surely as the mannequin who had been in front of him a few seconds earlier.
He intended to show it to the Council which would reunite the following evening, as well as to Aang when he would return with Sokka, Suki and Katara.
Suddenly he thought of another letter, hidden for three days in the drawer of his writing desk, carefully locked. A letter calligraphically perfect, written by an expert's hand with long nails. A letter that smelled of jasmine and contained promises as seductive as they were monstrous.
He remembered his great confusion when he had received it. It had taken him several hours to decode the encrypted message Azula had sent him. Zuko had racked his brains for a long time to remember the code he and Azula had invented in their childhood to communicate. After rummaging for hours in his trunk, he had found an invaluable treasure: the notebook that contained the details and explained how their code worked.
It was of course Azula who had the idea to invent this code. She couldn't have been more than seven years old when she rushed in his room, notebook in hand, to explain to him how to decipher her secret messages.
"That way, we can communicate, you, Mai, Ty Lee and me, without Mom knowing!"
Today he marveled at the ingenuity and intelligence she had shown at such an early age. The code had been terribly difficult to decipher even though he had the instructions in front of him.
The message, camouflaged under the mysterious and totally hermetic poem composed by Azula, said this:
Come and meet me on the seventh day of the month in father's old apartments. I'll give you what you want. Affectionately. A.
The seventh day of the month. It was in three days. Zuko did not quite understand why Azula gave him an appointment on this date and in such an unexpected place.
The former Fire Lord's apartments had not been occupied since Ozai left. Zuko hadn't wanted to settle there, unable to bear the thought of sleeping in the same bed as this tyrant. He had preferred to establish his quarters in his old room.
A remnant of superstition, perhaps, kept him at a good distance from this room which even the servants dared not approach and which had not been maintained for years, as if the place had been struck by some curse. He could easily imagine the layer of dust that must have covered the furniture and silk sheets abandoned nearly five years ago.
Why would Azula want to find him in such a grim place? Except maybe to make sure that no one would see them?
"I'll give you what you want."
He didn't know what to think of it. A confused mix of emotions had washed over him when he first read the message. Fear, amazement, excitement, disgust...
He had initially made up his mind to avoid Azula.
She was probably impatiently awaiting his answer. But he wanted to give himself time to consider. Maybe she knew he would hesitate and that was why she had given him this delay.
He knew that if he went to this dangerous rendezvous, things would get out of hand. His behavior the other night had sufficiently proven that. And he had no longer any doubt about Azula's intentions.
When he remembered the way he had touched, kissed and caressed his sister's body, shame paralyzed him. But the memory also caused a wave of desire and excitement in him, almost impossible to control.
He slapped his forehead and dug his fingers into his eye-sockets, thinking back to his last lovemaking with Mai the night before. He might love his wife and find her perfectly desirable; it was not her breasts he had thought of while caressing her under her robe. It wasn't her mouth that he had seen when he kissed her. And when he had finally sunk into her, it wasn't the thought of Mai that had brought him to his climax.
He had three days left to respond to Azula. He knew she was watching out for his answer. He guessed it with the furtive glances she gave him during the meals they shared in an icy atmosphere with Mai and Ty Lee – who watched her old friends eat silently, with large scared eyes. Only the sound of chopsticks striking against the bowls and that of the wine being poured into a glass disturbed this deadly silence.
Azula had reappeared as if by magic at their table, the day after their last encounter. A smug and perfectly maddening expression spread over her beautiful face and Zuko couldn't swallow anything, watching her gaze and every word she said.
In the end, Azula had behaved as well as she could, even though he had seen her once or twice mutter something to herself or shake her head violently, as if irritated by some annoying fly.
He thought back to Taïma's worries, who had told him that Azula was starting to show clinical signs of her illness again. Anguish gripped his heart when he thought about that.
Fortunately for now, the symptoms were still mild and Azula seemed to be in control of the disease. And she hadn't made the slightest innuendo in front of Mai.
He would not go to meet her; he was determined to do so! He wouldn't give in to his vile instincts again. He would not give his enemies the opportunity to sap his credibility by instrumentalizing his relationship with Azula.
Azula would understand. She was the one who had advised him moderation when voices had risen to claim her head months before. She had consciously given up her power to establish her brother's authority. She was smart enough to understand that such a scandalous affair would bring them both down.
He would do it better this time. He wouldn't push her away so brutally. He wouldn't leave her alone. He would comfort her and swear his loyalty and love to her.
And with time she will be fine. Time heals all wounds.
For now, his priority was to protect her from their enemies. According to Kadao, she was surrounded by them: the whole Earth Kingdom yearned to shed her blood, the settlers held her responsible for their precarious situation. Mai hated her and dreamed of getting rid of her.
He wouldn't sacrifice her, no matter the cost.
Rage surged into him again and he soared into the air, throwing his foot forward. A jet of burning flames came out of it and hit his target: a mannequin hanging on the wall several feet above the ground.
Landing gracefully on the dusty floor of the training yard, Zuko watched it burst into flames and fall to the ground in a shower of ash.
If Kuei wanted war, then he would have it.
Please, feel free to comment on this chapter. I would love to hear your opinions, whatever they may be. This will motivate me to write the sequel faster.