Sarge kept his guard and sword up as he and the rest of his team were approaching the dining pavilion. It was an open-air area with tables surrounding the camp's bonfire. Annabeth was already irritated being next to the paranoid son of Ares.
"Would you put that sword away?" Annabeth asked impatiently. "We're trying to enjoy a good dinner."
"Can't take any chances, Annabeth." Sarge said. "Who knows which one of our enemies might try to stab us in the back?"
"I'm kinda on Annabeth's side, Sarge." Grif said. "This is actually the best part of this dumb camp: the endless supply of food. And I don't want to have us banned because of your paranoia."
"Grif, shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep." Sarge threatened.
"Oh, I'd do it too." Simmons said.
"I know you would, Simmons. Good man."
Annabeth sighed. "I can't believe I'm stuck with you stooges."
"Como crees que me siento?" Lopez asked.
"I don't know where we're going to sit, Lopez." Donut said.
"You understand Lopez?" Grif asked.
"Yeah. I took some Spanish classes back at school. I got all that crammed in me and a whole bunch of other stuff. All of it stuffed right inside…"
"Okay, Donut! We get it!" Annabeth said in frustration. "So where are we going to sit since we all have different godly parents?"
"Hey, Annabeth!" a familiar voice called out. Annabeth was relieved to see a friendly face. Luke sat at a blue lunch table with Church and Tucker. Right next to them was an empty red table.
"Luke." Annabeth greeted happily approaching him. "How are you doing? Your team giving you trouble too?"
"Somewhat." Luke shrugged. "Nothing I can't handle. Though, Church did get into some trouble with Clarisse."
"I saw." Annabeth said before turning to Church. "So how are you, toilet head?"
"Hey! Clarisse didn't dunk my head before the pipes blew up!" Church cried out.
Luke chuckled. "All right. Take your seat."
"We can't." Simmons said. "We don't know where we're supposed to sit."
"Well, the blue team is sitting at a blue table and there's an empty red table right behind us." Tucker said. "Come on. Even Caboose could figure it out… probably."
"No way!" Sarge refused. "If you think we're getting within six feet of you blue bastards, then you don't know who you're talking to."
"They'll be talking to a dead man if you don't sit down now." Annabeth threatened.
"…Fine. But not because you told me to." Sarge complied sitting down with the rest of the reds.
"Hey, where is Caboose?" Annabeth asked. "I just noticed he's not at your table."
"Yeah. Guess the gods are on our side. Hallelujah." Church said.
"We'll talk more about that later, Church." Luke said. "And to answer your question, Annabeth, he's off at the south side of the camp."
"Why?"
"Well, I was taking Church to determine his demigod skills by practicing his archery. But it turns out, he's a lousy shot."
"Sun was in my eyes." Church said.
"Anyway, the Demeter kids would be pretty upset at us for wasting wood used to make that arrow," Luke continued, "So we sent Caboose to go and pick it up. He's been searching for it for an hour."
Annabeth arched her eyebrow. "But the archery field's at the west side of the camp."
"Church is a REALLY lousy shot."
"Ha-ha." Church said sarcastically. "Just wait. Once our red vs blue game begins, I'll show you what I got."
"Which reminds me." Annabeth said. "Luke, we have to get ready for our capture the flag game."
"Good catch." Luke said.
"What? I thought we were already doing that." Simmons said.
"Not your game, guys." Luke said. "Annabeth and I are leading our team in a game of capture the flag. It'll be the cabins of Athena, Apollo, and Hermes vs Dionysus, Demeter, Aphrodite, Ares, and Hephaestus."
"Wait." Sarge said. "Why weren't we told about this?"
"Well, you already have your own game of capture the flag to attend to." Annabeth said. "You just have to prepare at your cabins until then. Me and Luke, however, need to lead our own cabins to the other game."
"Wait. So you two—the only sane people on our teams—get to go and maim people while the rest of us stand around doing nothing?" Church asked.
"Oh, we don't maim." Luke said. "We'd lose our dessert privileges."
"You know, for once, the dirty Blue has a point." Sarge said. "We've been sitting on our asses all week waiting for an upcoming battle when there's a practice one that you guys get to go to. That's just not fair."
"It's not practice." Annabeth said. "It's a real battle where you could end up in the infirmary."
"Better than just being put to the side treated like nothing." Church said.
"Yeah." Tucker said. "We prefer to be treated like nothing our own way."
"Guys, trust me. You don't want to do this." Luke said.
"Au contraire, Booboo Bear." Sarge said. "Boys, let's outshine the average bear by reporting this injustice to Mr. Ranger."
"What?" Grif asked.
"I mean, let's go talk to Chiron."
"No way!" Grif complained. "I'm not going into volunteer to cross swords against five other cabins."
"Yeah, I actually agree with Grif." Simmons said. "Wouldn't it make more sense to wait until we're better prepared?"
"We're not here to make sense. We're here to win." Sarge replied.
"And why would I agree to this?" Grif asked.
"Well, we got two options, Grif." Sarge said. "You can either play capture the flag with the rest of the camp or you can help test our weapons back at Red Cabin."
"What would I need to do for that?"
"Just stand still and wait for the sweet embrace of death."
"Point taken. All right, I'm in."
"Us too." Church said. "I'm bored anyway."
"Yeah. And this will be my chance to get in with the girls from the Aphrodite cabin." Tucker said.
"What? Didn't you hear Luke, Tucker?" Church asked. "The Aphrodite kids are our enemies."
"So what? That just means a sweet time on the battlefield. Making love at first fight. Bow-chicka-bow-wow."
"I regret talking to you." Church said before leaving with the others. Luke and Annabeth were left sitting in their respective tables.
"We probably shouldn't have said any of that." Luke said.
"What have we done?" Annabeth asked with worry in her tone.
After a long day of reluctant camp directing, Dionysus was happily ready for lunch right next to Chiron. True, his curse allows him to drink Diet Coke instead of wine, but he intended to make the most of it. That is, until the Red and Blue teams came to his table.
"Hey, D, we have a bone to pick with you." Sarge said.
Mr. D groaned. "What do you idiots want? This is supposed to be the one time a day where I'm free of you clowns."
"It's about capture the flag." Simmons said.
"I told you, I'll start your game as soon as I am able." Mr. D said. "There's still a lot of, uh, organization stuff I need to take care of and…"
"Not that game. The other game." Tucker said. "You know, the one that everyone gets to play. We wanna play too."
"I don't, but apparently, Sarge is making me." Grif said.
"Come on, big guy. Let us in." Donut said. "I'm sure you can squeeze us in if you try."
Mr. D and Chiron looked at each other and turned back at the demigods. "Look, kids," Chiron said, "It's quite ambitious for you to want to play the game against the other campers, but…"
"No. No chance. No way, Jose." Mr. D said. "You kids should stick with your own game."
"Oh, come on, guys." Simmons said. "Every camper who is not injured has to play."
Mr. D scoffed. "Where'd you get that nonsense from?"
"It's in the Camp Half-Blood rulebook. Chapter 8, Section 14, Subsection 3, which covers the rules for Capture the Flag."
Mr. D paused for a moment before reaching to his side. He pulled out a book and flipped through its pages. He looked for a silent minute before he paused at a certain page. His frown lowered itself more and more.
"Dammit. You actually remembered this rule?"
"I memorized the whole guidebook," Simmons said, "In three languages."
"Of course, you did." Grif sighed.
Mr. D growled quietly trying his best not to kill the kids in front of him. He regained his composure and said calmly, "Fine. You got me on a technicality. But consider this your only game. Remember, you'll each be representing your cabins. Scarf, you go to the Ares team. Baxter, you head to my cabin. Ricardo, to Athena. Danish, you report to the Aphrodite cabin. Since your automaton is made from Hephaestus materials, he can go fight for their cabin. And Larry, since Burch and Carbuncle are unclaimed, they'll be joining you on the Hermes team."
"You got it!" Sarge said. "Come on, men. Let's go and prepare for the pre-battle!" He then began humming Reveille leading everyone away from the table.
"One of these days, that jerk's gotta remember our names." Church commented as he left with the others.
"Hey, sir," Simmons said, "I notice we're on different teams. So I deeply apologize in advance."
"Apology accepted… traitor."
After they left, Mr. D gave a very deep growl. "Chiron, sometime later, remind me to call the gods, because this stupid rulebook needs an update."
"Who knows?" Chiron asked. "Maybe they'll surprise us."
"Oh, that, I'm sure of." Mr. D said.
"Looking for an arrow. I'm looking for an arrow." Caboose sang to himself walking through the forest. Suddenly, he stopped when he heard a twig snap. "Hello? Is someone there? Church, is that you trying to tell me that we're best friends? Hello?"
"Hello?" Caboose's voice echoed through the forest.
"Oh. That's just me. Man, I'm so stupid. Have a nice day!"
"Thanks! You too!"
"Well, I am a pretty pleasant person." Another twig snap was heard. "Okay, me, time to come out. This is getting silly."
Caboose continued inspecting the area until something caught his eye. The first thing he noticed was the arrow that he had been looking for. However, it was lodged into something. Something living. Something that Caboose looked interested in.
"Hello? Well, hi there. What's a little fella like you doing all the way out here? Don't worry. I'll patch you up and we're going to be best friends."
*RvB Greek Tales*
Grif on Midas:
"Hi there. I'm Dexter Grif from Red vs Blue: the Half-Blood Chronicles. I'm here to tell a tale that was requested by XWorrior1113. They requested for me to tell the story of King Midas, a legendary man with a golden touch literally.
"Now, the story begins with a king named Midas. When he was taking a walk through the forest, he came across a satyr named Silenus. Midas welcomed the guy to his kingdom and held a party just for him. Lucky bastard. Anyway, after the big shindig was over, Midas was visited by my old man, Dionysus. You know, before he turned into a jerk. Dionysus was all 'Thanks for giving this satyr a good time, buddy. So how's about a gift?' That's right. My dad wanted to grant Midas a wish for taking in the cloven-hooved bum and the king asked for anything he'd touch to turn to gold. Dionysus granted the wish and Midas was finally able to turn anything into solid gold.
"Now, being the richest man in the world with just a flick of his fingers sound pretty promising, right? WRONG! As it turned out, that gold touch wasn't as glamorous as it sounded. Sure, Midas would turn his castle into gold, but he could do the same with his food and bed! Whenever he'd try to eat chicken, by the time he'd raise it to his mouth, the bird becomes too shiny and metal to get a bite in! And whenever he'd try to sleep in his bed, he'd turn his blankets, sheets, mattress, and pillows into gold too making it very uncomfortable! Can you imagine? Not being able to eat and sleep ever again?! It's madness! MADNESS I TELL YOU! …Oh, and he turned his daughter to gold when she hugged him or something. I don't know.
"After losing his basic necessities, Midas returned to Dionysus and begged him to take the magic back. My deadbeat dad then gave him a bit of advice. All Midas had to do was run water all over anything he'd turn to gold and it would turn back to normal. So my dad would help a guy turn gold people back to life, but he can't bother to send me a gift for my birthday? It's no wonder I ended up this way.
"Well, that's the end of the story of Midas' golden touch. Now, I get to tell you how he judged a music contest between Pan and…"
"Whoa, Grif. What are you doing?"
"Huh? Simmons? Didn't you already interrupt Sarge's story?"
"Grif, XWorrior1113 only wanted you to tell the story of Midas' golden touch."
"Simmons, Midas had two famous stories. Why would I just stop at one."
"Because the request said so. He just figured you'd be the most fitting to tell the story because of your signature color."
"My signature color? What the hell is that supposed to… Wait a minute. OH, THAT SON OF A BITCH! HEY, XWORRIOR1113, FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME, I AM ORANGE! I AM NOT GOLD! I AM NOT YELLOW! I AM FREAKIN' ORANGE!"
"Well, it looks like Grif's on another one of his rants. This gives me the time to address you, the readers, on a certain thing about your requests. So far, most of what we get are only just very early stories. Titanomachy. Cronos eating his kids. Gigantomachy. And two of those stories are basically the same thing. You know there are over a hundred other storis in Greek mythology, right? Like Hercules or Icarus or Aphrodite's birth. If we are to do any more of these Greek Tales, we need more than just very early stories. Just tell which story you want told and which one of us you want to tell it. It's that simple. Well, see you later."