The idea behind the story: Someone recently commented on another story of mine in which Shyvana is Quinn's Pokemon (Shameless self promotion, I know). The reviewer asked me to add a few more Pokemon in order to make the story more interesting and expand my universe. Unfortunately for all of you that suddenly reminded me of Pokemon's timeless theme song and then before I even noticed or managed to control myself I had already started writing this oneshot.
Summary: A lot of loony things happen and the world as we know it almost ends when suddenly Pokemon's and League's concepts collide. Well, I am fairly certain that this wasn't what the reviewer had in mind when he asked me to add a few more Pokemon, but I definitely had fun writing this and it is already finished so… Oups!
The scene starts at Summoner's Rift, one of, if not the most popular field of justice after the usually crowded and generally preferred Dominion map.
Everything seems quite normal at first. Jinx is still the most popular adc, Draven is failing at last hitting cs, Braum is facepalming every time his adc misses a minion while Galio obviously remains unpicked.
Kayle is moving towards mid, gracefully gliding through the sky, Udyr is leisurely setting up his tent near the wolf camp and Yasuo keeps spamming his level 8 mastery emote (he paid a little more when he bought the account than usual) as a really sad teary-eyed Kassadin desperately tries to avoid his almost infinite barrage of toothpick-stabs and unlimited yolo dashes.
The rest of the players are currently standing afk in their respective fountains since some useless no-life scrub instalocked their prefered lane or intentionally banned their favorite champions.
Suddenly, without even the faintest warning other than this particular line I am currently writing a loud manly voice abruptly echoes all over the bloody stained lanes of the infamous Summoner's Rift, carrying with it a breathtakingly rich voice filled with vigor.
I wanna be the very best
Draven abruptly pauses, let's an almost dead half-limping Jinx run away and then rises his eyes towards the bright blue sky and the invisible singing man before shrugging and uttering an almost agitated: "then try to be more like Draaaaaven."
Braum then just throws down his enormous shield and promptly walks away leaving Draven at the mercy of his opponents.
Like no one ever was
Kassadin sighs, blatantly trying to ignore the silly catchy song whereas Yasuo's blade is somehow spitting sparks and lightning… Wasn't that supposed to be Kennen's job? Kassadin dully wonders.
To catch them is my real test
Jinx just laughs at that since not even Piltover's finest were able to capture the insane terrorist.
To train them is my cause
But unfortunately for Jinx her mirthful giggles are almost instantly cut short when out of nowhere emerges Emilia LeBlanc, dressed in her usual revealing dominatrix outfit. Pale delicate fingers tightly wrapped around a thin long leather whip and a dangerous predatory glint mighty obvious in the assassin's eyes, as the now smiling black witch slowly approaches the madly blushing, stuttering Loose Cannon.
I will travel across the land
searching far and wide
Udyr just raises an eyebrow at that. Search? Why would anyone foolishly run and dash all over the Rift's jungle when he could just as well patiently wait near the usually abandoned wolf camp? Any capable hunter could then repeatedly proceed to kill the dumb beasts over and over again and claim their magically summoned gold coins.
Aaand since no one actually monitored low elo matches, Udyr could even consider skinning the dumb beasts while he was at it and then sell their pelts and furs to outsiders… The ingenious jungler silently smirked at this thought, loudly complimenting himself as he slowly moved the portable Jacuzzi set near the nearest patch of tall bushes.
Teach Leagueamon to understand
The power that's inside!
Kayle snorts at that part, she puts out the magic fire licking the entire length of her thin golden sword and then spares a quick glance at the fake unmoving white clouds tirelessly reciting this invisible loud madman's little anthem.
"Leagueamon? What in Bard's name is a Leagueamon anywa-
Kha'Zix suddenly appears out of nowhere, he swiftly slashes at the distracted armored angel's back and then follows up with an equally swift, but even more powerful kick that doesn't actually slay the beautiful warrior, but certainly knocks her off the sky. Kayle gasps then, pained crystal blue orbs grudgingly rising towards her violent madly cackling assailant.
…
Wait? Why in Teemo's red horned scalp is Kha'Zix painted emerald green and… is that Dragon Trainer Lulu suddenly barging out of a nearby bush or are her eyes deceiving her?
…
And more importantly why in the nine elo hells is Lulu casually patting the currently purring but still unmistakably green void-beast's shoulder?
"Good job, Scyther!" Lulu quips and then hurriedly makes her way towards the still downed angelic maiden.
"I got no ss, report my team and surrender at 20' " Kayle tiredly mutters in remorse, desperately trying to protect the little pride she has left by shifting the blame to others, but the purple yordle standing before her just laughs at that resulting in Kayle raising a blonde eyebrow in confusion.
" I am your lane opponent you silly butterflower. I was just afk at base for the last ten minutes or so because mommy called me for dinner."
Kayle just flinches at that and then pathetically lowers her head in shame, doing her best to hide her pain and embarrassment.
"Don't worry little tulip, I am going to take good care of you" The yordle reassures and a curious Kayle slowly raises her gaze only to come face to face with a small plastic sphere colored in bright red and white, some kind of crimson beam steadily building up inside its tiny core as if preparing to unleash on of Viktor's infamous deadly death rays.
"Hm, I think I will be calling you Feathermon. Either that or Wingy, I haven't decided yet but we will find out soon, don't we?" Lulu muses and then the device explodes, bright scarlet light instantly engulfs the frightened angel and Kayle's world is drowned in black inky darkness.
[Chorus]
Leagueamon! Gotta catch 'em all!
A frenzied struggle seems to suddenly take place inside the various occupied fields of Justice as all kind of dangerous encounters ensue and plastic dichromatic spheres seem to be covering the entire bright blue sky.
It's you and me
"I am so sorry." Caitlyn whispers in obvious heartache, her wet aquamarine orbs slowly darting between the injured, panting wide eyed pinkette laying at her feet and the small army of wannabe trainers that swiftly approach them, each one more frantic and excited than the other.
Caitlyn then raises the small plastic ball and points it towards her weak downed partner. A blinding flash of red then suddenly engulfs the bravely smiling enforcer and Vi silently disappears from the green grass-covered clearing.
I know it's my destiny,
Syndra is currently standing over the edge of her huge flying fortress overlooking Ionia, a dark mass of growling agitated figures twitching and jerking behind her. Three small plastic red and white balls lazily levitating around her form as the powerful sorceress silently glares at the country that once betrayed her.
One pale gloved hand rises and angrily turns into a fist and so the mass of enslaved champions and scrubs hurriedly dash towards the still unsuspecting currently tranquil city, an already sobbing Irelia being the first one to unwillingly lead the dark charge against her beautiful home and former homeland.
Leagueamon! Oh you're my best friend
in a world we must defend
The scene changes again as Lee Sin, proud jungler and not so proudly blind monk bravely stands against Syndra's dark cruel invasion with Kennen and Wukong, his trusty Leaguamons silently standing by his side.
Lee Sin sighs and nods once, swiftly gesturing towards the dark army of invaders and the doomed rapidly burning city before them.
"Today we fight for Ionia"
The blind monk lowly whispers hoping to inspire some tiny fragment of hope towards his obviously horrified still silent companions. His faithful Leaguamons no doubt having suddenly lost their voice after watching the violent cruel crusade raged by Syndra's dark soldiers and the complete and utter destruction her army leaves in its wake .
Or that's at least what the blind monk assumes, but that's wrong since the bare truth is that Kennen and Wukong have long since fled the doomed city…
Leagueamon! Gotta catch 'em all!
Even more Leagueballs seem to pierce the Rift's cold refreshing air, ranging from expensive Masterballs, to Diamondballs all the way to the useless cheap Bronzeballs that can only capture a weakened Nunu.
Nunu! Not Willump, the giant angry yeti charging at you ready to devour your guts and lungs, but Nunu, the small fragile child riding the usually calm furry titan.
A heart so true. Our courage will pull us through,
You teach me and I'll teach you, Leagueamon!
We now zoom in what appears to be an elementary class filled with enslaved league champions and their respective trainers. Heimerdinger is standing before an old dusty blackboard endlessly rumbling about Leagueamon types and the countless new ways to possibly improve a Leagueamon's fighting potential.
Such as giving them rare candy and drugs, forcing them to devour machines in order to teach them new moves and feeding them shiny crystals.
Fortunately for all the Leagueamon only Lux and Quinn are actually taking notes or even paying attention at the smart yordle-man. Most of them are either drawing Draven faces, setting things on fire or sleeping. Garen for example is currently asleep, occasionally mumbling nonsense about his huge hard as steel giant sword and how much he like Demass-ians. Completely coincidentally, seated just a few seats behind the sleeping man Katarina is blushing profusely.
Gotta catch 'em all
Jinx is flying through the air perched on top of a giant white and red Leagueball as the small army of similar giant projectiles rapidly descend towards the shiny city Piltover.
Gotta catch 'em all
The scaly dogs of Bilgewater, Gangplank's infamous despicable crew of murderers, thieves, wrongdoers and occasional candy-stealers can only sweat, curse and grunt in exhaustion, all the while dully wondering what in the nine tentacles is wrong with the Capt', if Nakagakabouros really exists and what exactly are those weird plastic things they have been loading into their cannons and guns all day.
[Chorus]
Every challenge along the way
with courage I will face.
Darius is running for his life, his dumb, ugly and annoying butt of a brother is actually stupid enough to seriously attempt duck-taping the cheap plastic Leagueballs all over his deadly razor-sharp weapons and then try enslaving him by attempting to headshot his big bro with those same previously mentioned weapons!
I will battle every day
To claim my rightful place.
Syndra is laughing in amusement, deep purple glowing irises silently drinking in the grim sight before her. Karma is choking, tears steadily rolling down her dark flushed cheeks as an equally teary-eyed Irelia is gradually strangling her.
"Please… please stop. Don't make me do this." Irelia sobs as her traitorous hands are slowly choking the life out of her dear childhood friend and until recently enough also political leader.
Syndra just laughs at that, purple glowing eyes mistakenly full of mirth as she slowly steps towards her suffocating, almost already dead bitter rival.
"Keep going my sweet little plaything, I want to see your expression when the light in your friend's eyes finally fades to oblivion."
Karma's eyes slowly roll into the back of her head and Syndra's smirk widens as Irelia desperately tries to unclench her hands while calling her dear friend's name.
*Thunk
A small round object suddenly drops from Karma's previously clenched powerless hand, it then rolls across the dark crimson floor, dancing among the still damp splatters of blood and rich stained Ionia floorboards only to stop next to the evil vile sorcerers levitating a few feet off the ground.
Syndra pauses for a second, curious lilac orbs suddenly drawn to the small blinking device. And then Syndra's entire world is filled with intense hues of red and the room seems to wrap around the pale cursing sovereign.
Come with me, The time is right,
There's no better team.
Arm in arm we'll win the fight!
It's always been our dream!
"That's cheeeating!"
Sivir smirks in response, a dark lithe arm lazily wrapping around the intricate armored shoulder blades of the one and only gold-clad chicken emperor of Shurima.
"Is it really, now? No one ever said that I can't duel you with a Leagueamon that is capable of creating an almost infinite army of sand soldiers, Cass. Let's just call Azir a legendary, hm? Now stop wasting my time and pay up Cassy."
Leagueamon! Gotta catch 'em all! It's you and me
I know it's my destiny,
Hidden in the shadows of a seemingly abandoned bloodstained building a bruised dark-skinned female hand slowly reaches for a small plastic ball containing her dear childhood friend and almost would-be murderer.
The occupied Leagueball between her and the precious container practically squirming in hate.
Leagueamon! Oh you're my best friend
In a world we must defend!
Er (Running out of ideas) Lulu suddenly rips out her mask revealing Kayle's face, as the second Lulu frantically slums her small hands inside her round plastic prison. And as Lulu number2 suddenly succumbs to her hate and madness her small purple hands suddenly shoot towards her face, angrily ripping her own mask shreds only to reveal that Lulu no2 is in fact actually Shaco.
The green Kha'Zix then tries to rip out his own mask, but actually fails since he was never actually wearing one and so Kayle has to heal his damaged face.
Long story short the good guy win and love and peace ruled this world forever after.
Also Kha'Zix is in fact an intergalactic undercover agent. Bu not even he knows this since his memory has to be frequently wiped out in order to carry out certain dangerous missions I definitely didn't just make out.
Leagueamon! Gotta catch 'em all!
Galio is patiently waiting in the middle of Summoner's Rift eager to see if someone finally desires to spend some time with him. He waits and waits for minutes, days and what seems like long eternities. And actually waits until the Leagueamon madness finally settles down and everyone gets enamored with Dotamon and Hearth-i-Oh!, but no one ever actually seeks him out and so Galio remains forever alone…
Until he finally encounters Amumu that is, and the no longer lonely sad mummy just smiles at him politely before calmly resuming his way. Amumu needs to keep his last remaining Leagueballs in case he stumbles into a pretty girl like Sona or Ahri, after all.
Amumu then laughs with a perverted grin as he pictures the small revealing outfits he is going to force on his new unfortunate Leagueamon. He then uses a torn piece of moldy bandage in order to wipe his resulting nosebleed before he pause, thoughtful yellow eyes suddenly narrowing in thought.
Hadn't that weird stone-faced dude actually looked kind of familiar? The small perverted mummy abruptly wonders and then wastes a few more moments trying to pierce the foggy veil of uncertainty concerning the weird curiously familiar magical gargoyle.
"Nah" He exclaims and shrugs as he moves on, hastily making his way towards the closest strip club.
The stony-dude was probably a failed attempt at reworking Malphite, anyway.
A heart so true. Our courage will pull us through,
You teach me and I'll teach you! Leagueamon!
Vel'Koz hisses at the vile men, scaring the smelly savage fools away. He intently stares as they cry and scream in fright for a few more long seconds before he finally turns his head (Does Vel'Koz even have a head?) in order to steal a quick look at the scared bruised Nidalee.
The woman is speechless, the infamous Eye of the Void was supposed to be an evil, vile thing and yet here he was doing his best to protect her. A soft purple tentacle slowly extends towards the still downed woman, and it is only with a miniature amount of hesitation when Nidalee slowly reaches out and takes it, letting Vel'Koz gently lift her from the hard pavement floor until her feet touch the ground.
The two of them then stare as each other, Nidalee with barely concealed shock and fear and Vel'Koz with silent ashamed understanding. The Eye of the Void has done some terrible things you see when he was still new to this world called Varolan. Terrible, despicable deeds that welled from his unfathomable cursed ignorance of Valoran's secret culture.
But those shameful days were certainly long gone you see as Vel'Koz finally knew all about the way of how things worked and what was supposed to be a gentleman's mission.
That frail little creature currently standing before him for example, practically dressed in nothing but torn furs and cheap rags wasn't supposed to be perceived as an ordinary human being for example.
Oh no, the thing before him was much, much more precious than those ungracious creatures. It was a part of a currently endangered species called a Waifu and Vel'Koz was hell-bent on protecting it, even if that meant giving up his eye!
Gotta catch 'em all!
Er… Something… Something… Dr. Mundo is currently trying to stuff Anivia's head inside a malfunctioning broken Leagueball. Yep that does it for now.
Gotta catch 'em all!
Tristana is trying to bath her newly acquired Rek'Sai, tirelessly chasing the obviously annoyed void-Queen. The two of them are frantically dashing through magically appearing brick walls or lunging into the enormous voildling's purple swirling tunnels.
And as the desperate struggle to drag Rek'Sai into her tiny bathtub soon becomes Tristana's lifelong ambition the scowling yordle suddenly brings out its gun and loads it with shampoo, soap, frigid clean water and random beauty products.
But, Rek'Sai instantly notices this alarming action and so suddenly runs out of Tristana's relatively small house, crosses the curiously empty street and then barges face first into the neighboring yordle orphanage.
The camera then zooms out, a few children are screaming in fright, a fire flares on the roof and the small building suddenly shakes and rocks as Rek'Sai tries to escape her miniature trainer's wrath and the match hated bath-time.
A stern looking Tristana then slowly walks towards the burning orphanage, trusty weapon in hand and steel brown eyes intently focused on the old burning building.
"I am definitely going to bath you Cuddles even if that means I have to crawl through the entire Shadow Isles and bath you in Mordekaiser's tears in order to accomplice it!"
Leagueamon!
Every character is lining up for the group photo. Jinx is blushing profusely while sitting on LeBlanc's lap, Shaco is still trapped inside his plastic Leagueball and Kayle is just smiling politely. Kha'Zix is finally back to being purple, Lulu is wondering why Kayle is wearing her second dress and Darius is currently trying to strangle his brother.
Lee Sin is missing as he is frantically roaming the ruined capital of Ionia, desperately searching for his lost brave companions, while Kennen, Miss Fortune and Wukong are currently playing poker with Twisted Fate.
Syndra is actually here, still glaring at her trainer's back as Karma and Irelia happily pose for the picture. No one really remembered to call Galio and if anyone really cared enough to ask for his absence they certain lose their tongues after suddenly laid their eyes on Amumu's beautiful harem.
Cassiopeia is still trying to defeat Sivir and Azir, slowly but surely driving her renowned family's bank accounts in the red while Katarina blissfully unaware of that little fact is happily flirting with Garen.
Any assassination attempts against Katarina's life made by Garen's ridiculously overly attached little sister has yet to end in nothing, but complete failure.
Braum never actually found a decent adc.
Vel'Koz and Nidalee are happily married, eagerly awaiting their cute little voidlings. Rengar is envious.
Willump was one day captured by Malzahar and Nunu vowed to get him back, he is still training in the Kumungu jungle, fighting with giant lions while trying to get stronger like almost every Shounen character.
Yasuo was shot by Nami when the kind support finally had enough of him blocking her ultimates all the while spamming his laughter emote and level 9 mastery. The rude samurai did however somehow manage to survive the ordeal and was peacefully walking down the street when he suddenly encountered a walking fish that was wielding a fish. Then said fish mercilessly proceeded to gut him like a fish while using said fish and then fed him to his other giant fish for breakfast before shoving dirt and then igniting his katana!
(Please take a short break the author is currently taking long deep breaths and trying to calm down.)
Talon became an underwear model, settled down with Ashe and actually became the perfect daddy-figure.
Soraka received an argent request to heal Yasuo one day, but instantly grabbed a random rock -Soraka never actually realized it by the rock she chose to pick was in reality Malphite. But Caitlyn definitely did notice, and started stealthily peeking at the weak-looking polite support for a few days after that incident.) smashed her pager to pieces and then proceeded to set it on fire. Although she made sure to ulty and spam unhappy faces when Yasuo finally left his final breath just to avoid getting reported.
Annie actually adopted Riven when she noticed that the angsty swordswoman was so poor that she didn't actually have the gold to buy a new blade.
Udyr is still in the jungle murdering wolves and stealing their pelts while happily preaching about controlling the beast and finding inner balance.
Vi finds being owned by Caitlyn kinky. She still never obeys Caitlyn's orders, leaves the dirty plates on the sink and licks the Sheriff's deodorant whenever the smart workaholic brunette isn't looking.
Although there were still times when Graves craved his beloved cigar, he soon realized that material possessions weighted him down and chained him into a dull boring life full of meaningless physical objects and yellow metal coins. He then decided to shave his head and became a monk, following Lee Sin's path into a life of serenity and discipline.
…
What's an Urgot.
The End
Disclaimer: I don't own or claim to own Pokemon as a franchise, League of legend or Pokemon's catchy theme song, lyrics and so on. And I certainly don't make any money from using the song's lyrics in this fanfiction.