So I think you want me to continue this story. Currently, I'm looking for a name for it. Right now I have Her Family as a working title. The story will follow Insurgent closely. For those who are worried, don't be I have it pretty much mapped out in my head already and I'm reading the books while I write so I stick close to the plot at much as Andy allows me. If you have an Idea for a title for the next one please let me know. I really don't think I can come up with good titles. Younger Sister was really just something I thought could fit considering Andy is Tobias' younger sister.
Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent.
Chapter 17: Feelings.
I feel my skin burning again as the fire surrounds me. A smell creeps into my nose and it's bad, Rusty metal and sweat. Is that was burning flesh smell like? It shouldn't be. It gets stronger and stronger to the point I start to cough and choke.
000
I eye flutter open and I hit my head against something. All I can see is white light and it hurts.
"Get clean up. You smell of vomit." I hear my brother say before the door slams shut. My hand goes to my head. Crap, I have a pounding head ache. My other hand grabs the thing I was resting on and I push up. It's much easier to stand now. I blink a few times and finally am able to see. I'm in Bass's bathroom and it does smell like puke. I look down at where I was. How did I fall asleep with my head on the toilet? My eyes move to the counter and I see a change of clothes there and a towel. Bass told me to get cleaned up. So that's what I do. I really don't like the puke in my hair anyway. I get shower and dressed. The shirt is a little small but it fits and covers most of me torso. So it's fine. When I'm done I clean the toilet and the floor around it just to be sure. Bass was nice enough to let me stay here last night. No more whiskey, Aundrea. No more. Uriah was right. I put the cleaner away and walk out into Bass's room. The light is not as strong in here as it was in the bathroom. I find him in front of the mirror with scissors, trying to cut his long hair, well long from what I'm used to.
"Hair cut day was a few weeks ago, Bass. You're such a rebel." I joke as I walk over behind him and try to take them from him.
"I got it." He slaps my hand away. I watch him cut one piece of hair and forcedly take them away.
"You aren't good at cutting your own hair, you have different lengths." I snap at him as I smack his hand away. "If you're doing this for Tris, then let me do it. You are making it look bad."
"Ann, I have been cutting my hair the last two years. I think I'm able to cut it now." Bass tells me as he goes for the scissors again.
"It's long and uneven. You haven't cut your hair more than four times." I inform. "She would like it done correctly and I still know how to do it. I still did dad's after you left." Bass stops fighting and I am able to take him into the bathroom. "Sit, I cleaned it." I point to the toilet. "You're taller than me and I need to be able to see all of your head." He does as I tell him and I start to cut it. "I take last night went well."
"What?" Bass acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about.
"With Tris. I have a hangover not amnesia, Bass. Did you tell her?" I ask him as I cut his hair and drop the hair into the sink. I'll clean it up when I'm done.
"Tell her what?" I roll my eyes.
"Tobias, you know what I'm talking about." I say as firmly as I used to when he was pissing me off.
"What do you think?" He asks. Does he like to piss me off?
"Remember, I have the scissors." I warn him. "I can cut it too short and your love life would go down the toilet." He looks up at me.
"Tris doesn't even know I'm cutting my hair. Plus she isn't like that." He says.
"So it did go well and she knows who you are." I smirk. "Has she put you and I together yet?"
"She hasn't from what I know of." His face drops for a second. "She thought you and I had a thing." I stop cutting and look him in the eyes.
"What? We didn't do anything other bicker and fight around her and stuff." I scoff and start cutting again. Wow. "Anyway, what the hell did you wake me up with?"
"A dirty sock." He says and I start to gag.
"You know, I was dreaming about burning alive again." I shake my head. "I think it will be forever until I get those two scents figured out." All Bass does it laugh as my semi dry hair falls in my line of sight. I stop cutting and pull the hair out of my face.
"When was the last time you cut your own hair?" He asks me.
"The day before you left. I wouldn't let him cut my hair." I inform him. "It would be tied back, but Marlene took my hair tie from home."
"You need to be able to see." He says. "I'll cut it when you're done here."
"No I'm fine. Uriah likes it long." I tell him as I turn his head to the side.
"Uriah." He mumbles.
"What? He is a great friend." I defend myself.
"He shouldn't have given you anything to drink yesterday." Bass says firmly.
"Uriah was trying to help. He took it away once he noticed two sips were too much. It was Christina who gave me most of it." I tell him. "If it wasn't for him, I would have killed Molly for talking about Tris's father and ours."
"Since when did you defend your father?" Bass snaps.
"Since he was started to be compared to Andrew Prior. Andrew is nowhere close to him and I will not let her say they are." I deadpan. "I can tell you one thing; it wasn't the Whiskey that made me do it. It was me being fed up with her crap." I push his head down so I can get the back of his head.
"Are you almost done?" He says impatiently.
"Almost." I tell him as I sip some away. "What's the plan for today? I have a splitting headache and just want to be ready to know how to act."
"Well, Tris is going to act weird today." Bass starts off with that comment. I pull his head up and stare at him before laughing.
"You kissed her." I set the scissors on the counter and smirk.
"So." He acts all cool and stuff.
"It's not every day a girl from abnegation gets kissed by a tall dark and handsome Dauntless man." I tell him as I start to gather up the hair.
"Has Uriah kissed you? You haven't been acting any weirder than you are normally." He states as he gets up and walks over to me.
"Does it matter?" I ask him as he grabs the scissors. "Uriah and I are just close friends." I tell him as he comes over and grabs my hair. I move my hand up to grab his hand. As I move his hand, Bass cuts the hair in front of my face and it falls into my other hand. "Oh my God!" I push him off of me and stare into the mirror. It's cut at an angle starting at my mouth and ending at my chin. "It's not even, Bass." I turn and grab the scissors from him and push him out the door. "Get away from me you jerk. I loved my hair long." I slam the door shut once he is out of the room. I drop the hair back into the sink and huff. "You were so beautiful." I groan as glare at the door, before I grab the hair that he cut and cut it, evenly, right above my eyebrows. "Good bye, my lovely hair. I will miss you." I drop it in the sink and look into the mirror. My face looks boxed and ugly thanks to the bangs. I'm going to have to frame my face like the girls in Candor and Amity. I angle the scissors from the bangs down and cut a little bit off. It's almost painful watching the hair fall. I only do enough to get past my cheek bones and copy on the other side. My face looks better, but I can't help but think Uriah will hate it. I set the scissors on the counter and gather the hair up again and walk out of the bathroom and throw it all away in the trash bin next to the door.
"You don't look to bad." Bass says. I roll my eyes.
"He is going to hate it." I tell him as I walk out the door with Bass in tow.
"Since when did you care about his opinion, Ann?" He asks me with a smirk.
"Shut up. I'm not saying it." I snap out. "Now what are we doing today?"
"Lauren is taking you through her fear landscape." He says simply. "They aren't as bad as yours, so don't worry." I nod.
"That's good. I don't think anyone wants to go through that." I mumble.
"I took her through mine." Bass says suddenly. "That's how she figured out who I was." I turn and look at him.
"What? Dad is in there?" I ask him and he remains silent. "Well, that was a stupid question." I mumble.
"You go on ahead. I don't want people seeing us walking in together." Bass says as we come to the opening to the Pit.
"Fine. Be embarrassed with me." I joke as I walk ahead and towards the dining hall. For once I'm glad it's not bright down here in these…pit of a place. Once in the dining hall, I find Uriah and Tris and the rest all sitting at the table. I walk over and sit next to Uriah silently and grab a piece of toast and eat.
"How's your first hangover?" Christina asks and I hold up my middle finger as I bite the toast. "That bad." I feel a hand grab my shirt and lift it up a bit and I feel the cold metal of my knife being slipped into the waist band of my pants.
"Thanks, Uriah. I was wondering where that went." I mumble as I put the finger down. He hasn't noticed my hair. No one has.
"Why are you carrying a knife anyway?" Will asks.
"After the incident with Eric, I carry one." I tell him after swallowing. He looks confused, but then drops it.
"Something wrong?" I hear Uriah ask Tris. I turn and look at her. She seems more depressed than what she is supposed to be. She nods her head no and looks down. I look around the room and see Bass. He's ignoring her. Typical, I reach my hand behind Uriah and place a hand on her shoulder. She looks up from her toast to look at me.
"He might be putting on an act." I suggest quietly. She looks at me confused.
"Today's fear landscape day." Will says. "You think we'll get to see our own fear landscapes?"
"No." Uriah says as I remove my hand from Tris and eat. "You go through one of the instructors' landscapes. My brother told me."
"Ooh, which instructor?" Christina asks.
"You know, it really isn't fair that you all get insider information and we don't." Will glares at Uriah.
"Like you wouldn't use an advantage if you had one." Uriah counters. I just rest my head on his shoulder and finish eating. Not really in the mood to talk. My head hurts. I watch as Uriah hands me something in a glass. It's not water. "Drink, it will take the headache away." He tells me quietly.
"I hope it's Four's landscape." Christina says as if Uriah didn't just snap at Will.
"Why?" Tris asks. She knows as well as I do that there is no way we will go through it.
"Looks like someone had a mood swing." Christina rolls her eyes.
"Hey, lay off of her. She had a long day yesterday and she handles thing differently." I snap at her. Christina ignores me.
"Like you don't want to know what his fears are. He acts so tough that he's probably afraid of marshmallows and really bright sunrises or something. Overcompensating." I shake my head.
"Overcompensating?" I scoff. "You wouldn't be able to handle Four's fears. His is really that tough, there is no acting." Christina looks at me confused.
"How do you know?" she asks.
"It won't be his landscape." Tris interrupts. Good thing too, I didn't know what to say.
"How would you know?" She turns and asks Tris.
"It's a prediction." Tris tells her with a shrug and looks back at my brother.
"It's Lauren's." I speak up again.
"Lauren's? Are you sure?" Uriah asks me. She is his instructor. I nod.
"What?" Will asks and Christina looks even more confused.
"My instructor." Uriah says and looks back at me. "How do you know?"
"My brother told me. Don't ask how he knows." I tell them. "He just knows."
"Well we will find out." Christina says. Why is she getting on my nerves right now?
000
I stand next to Uriah as Lauren talks to us outside of the Fear landscape. My head is throbbing and that drink didn't help; just made me puke. Bass cutting my hair just helped with not getting any in my face. Lauren goes off on what her fears are and I can't really pay attention. I just act like it.
"Most of you will have anywhere from ten to fifteen fear in you fear landscape. That is the average number." I hear her say. The lowest is four.
"What's the lowest number someone has gotten?" I hear someone Lynn ask.
"In recent years… four." Lauren answers. "You will not find out your number today. The simulation is set to my fear landscape program, so you will experience my fears instead of your own." That's good to hear. I knew it, but still. "For the purpose of this exercise, though, each of you will only face one of my fears, to get a sense for how the simulation works." Okay, that's good. I really don't think I can handle anymore that one right now. What were your fears again? She points at Uriah. "Walls that inch closer." Then she moves to me. "Father's death." What? I could care less if my father died. Lauren goes on and I look at Uriah.
"I think I missed something. I'm I facing her father's death or my own?" I ask him. He shrugs his shoulders. I glance at Bass and he looks between her and me and nod. Why is he nodding? Oh well. She finishes naming us off and gets Will ready for his. We get to watch on screens out here. I'm fine with that. Tris walks over to me and looks at the screen. "You okay?"
"Sure." She says quickly and quietly.
"Care to talk?" I whisper to her as I walk away from Uriah, closer to her.
"I'm fine." She says. I nod and watch the screen with her. I can't stand spiders. I watch as Will brushes ones I can't see off of him. I guess I can't see it. This is stupid to see from the outside, so I look around and see my brother talking to Lauren in a hushed voice as they can see everything Will sees, I think. I'm not sure. I see her nod and it's not long after when Uriah has to go in and Will walks back out.
"I officially hate spiders now." He says as he shakes his head.
"Fire, best way to kill them." I deadpan and he laughs as he stands next to Christina.
"Yeah, but there wasn't any there." He says as he looks back at the screen. "What did Uriah get?"
"Walls inching closer. What is that supposed to mean anyway?" I ask as I look at the screen Uriah is doing nothing that makes sense.
"Just that. The walls getting closer and closer. Weren't you paying attention?"Will asks me.
"No, migraine again." I tell him as I watch Uriah. Something in the pit of my stomach doesn't like him in there seeing the things I can't see. I'm worried about him. Bass said it wasn't as bad as mine, but still fears are scary. I watch as he face starts to turn red and he looks like a weight is on him. God, get him out of there. I look at Bass and Lauren and they seem unfazed by this. His simulation stops and he walks out a little out of breath. I watch as he walks over and I place a hand on his back. "You okay?" I ask him as he breaths.
"Yeah." He nods his head. "Got a pinned by both walls." Uriah laughs and I know he's okay. A few more people go in, but I don't bother watching. I'm too worried about Uriah and my head hurts to focus on more than one thing at a time. Then it's my turn. Lauren walks over to the group with a needle in her hand.
"Change of plan, Andy. Your fear is being kicked out of Dauntless. Come on." I get why Bass was talking with her. I follow her as she walks me into the room.
"Why?" I ask her.
"Four thought you couldn't handle that one." She tells me truthfully. "Not with your condition. So I gave you something worse, in my opinion." She presses the needle into my neck and I feel the liquid go into my vein. After injecting me, Lauren leaves me in the room by myself. The room changes to the glass room right above the pit. The room I just came from. Eric and Max are the only leaders I recognize, but I know the other three are leaders. The rest of Dauntless, or most of them, stand around. I'm in the middle of the circle with the five facing me.
"Andy. It has come to our attention that you are not fit for Dauntless life." Max announces. "You are still loyal to your former faction and family." What? My father, yeah right. I just stand there with my arms to my side and looking at them a little confused.
"I warned you that we take faction over blood very seriously here in Dauntless." Eric cuts in. I roll my eyes at that comment.
"So, it is our duty to expel you from the Dauntless compound forever." Other one speaks up.
"What? No." I'm getting angry more than anything, but my heart is racing still. "Dauntless is my family. Not Marcus. I never belonged there anyway. How the hell am I still loyal to people that don't want me? Who told you that I'm un-loyal to my faction?" I snap. Eric smirks at me. "No offence, but your word is shit to me. Anyone else?" I deadpan. "I don't have family in Abnegation. My father hates me, my mother is dead and my brother isn't even there anymore. How the hell am I loyal to a family that doesn't exist?" I go to lunge forward, but someone stops me. My heart rate is going fast. I don't care if I'm factionless, but not because I'm forced to be over false information. I turn and see Bass holding me back. What the hell? Did he turn on me in this fearscape? I jerk forward. "This is stupid. Have you even tried to investigate? Or you are taking his word for it." I shout. I got to calm down. I will get nowhere from being pissed off. I look around the room for anyone that I know and there is no one. So I shut my eyes and try to breath. This pisses me off. I got a pounding headache and I can't think. The crowd starts to get louder and louder. Cries of pissed off people. They believe Eric more than me. I bite my lip and I breathe in and try to calm down. These people are dense. They have to be. They don't care about facts being presented. I shake Bass's arms off of me and storm off and through the crowd. I'm sick of this. I walk to the door with the train behind it and the simulation shuts off. I'm standing right next to the door to, back into the fear landscape. I open the door and glare at Bass.
"Even with a bad hangover, you're faster than the others." Lauren says. "That one usually is one of the longest." She says slowly.
"Being kicked out of Dauntless isn't a concern for me." I tell her calmly. "I know where my loyalist lie." I walk back to Uriah and Will and them and remain quiet. What the hell was that Bass? Now it's Tris's turn. No one talks to me. They don't really understand what just happened. I got pissed and stormed out. If this faction is going to be stupid enough to accuse people and not back it up, then they are all stupid. I watch as Tris runs around, scared out of her mind as people that I can't see chase her. It hurts me every time she screams. Didn't she just got attack and taken to the Chasm? Bass, what are you thinking? Getting kidnapped isn't a smart thing to send her into. I watch as she collapses to the ground and cries. I glare at Bass from across the room. Do something, don't watch her give up.
"Stop." He says suddenly as slams his hand onto something and walks into the room. I watch the screen. Bass walks in there and jerks her to her feet. "What the hell was that, Stiff?" My body tenses. I thought we were done with the nicknames. I feel three sets of hands the grab me as I turn to the door. My brother is freaking her out.
"I…" She chokes and my body jerks forward. "I didn't…"
"Get yourself together!" He yells. I have rarely seen him yell like this before. "This is pathetic." I watch as Tris changes. She stops crying and smacks him with her other hand.
"Shut up." She snaps as she yanks her hand from his grasp and walk out of the room. Bass just stands there as she walks out and past us. I don't move towards her as she walks past the group and away from our sight. I go to jerk to the room as Bass walks out. Everyone has gone, so Lauren excuses us to leave. Uriah, Will, and Christina try and drag me away from the room and the instructors, but I put up a good fight, which I end up losing when Uriah picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.
"That's enough for now." He says as he carries me off. I glare at Bass until I can't see him looking back at me. Is my loyalty more for Tris or my brother? It's both, but I will choose Tris over him if he is making her scared. That was something dad did to me. Stand and yell at me. That was my dad in there, not my brother.
000
They take me to Tori to get another tattoo, even though I got one yesterday when I was drunk off my ass. Apparently, I have something right on the small of my back. Why would I get one there?
"Tattoos seem to calm you." Christina says as she sits down next to me. "It worked really well yesterday." I roll my eyes as I feel Tori's needle on my right of hip. It's low enough to be covered by my pant's waist band. I watch Christina play with my knife as Tori works on Dauntless symbol that I decided to get.
"Careful. That's sharp." I warn her as she runs her finger along the sharp edge.
"I'm not five, Andy." She states. No one else is here. Uriah set me down here and left with Will in tow. I'm still going to talk to my brother. He can't do this to Tris not after he kissed her.
"Finished." Tori announces as she wipes it with a rag. "I can show you the one you got yesterday too. I like what you chose." She says as she sets the needle down and helps me up. I look into the mirror and laugh.
"Looks good." I tell her as I turn and look at my back. I gasp. There is a heart that looks like it's breaking through chains and darkness and wings are starting to spread out. I look at the heart closely and see tiny scar and stitches holding it together. It's a beaten heart that is breaking out of bondage and disrepair. "Wow…" I don't know what to say.
"You told me what to draw." Tori says as she cleans up. "I just drew it." I nod slowly. It's me, perfectly.
"Thank you." I tell her quietly.
"When you're drunk, you tend to talk a lot and you told her even where you wanted all the cuts and scars. It was like you were painting a picture for her as she was doing it." Christina says.
"Oh, but I don't plan on drinking Whiskey again. My brother says it was what made me that violent." I tell her.
"Speaking of Violent, did you see Molly today?" She smirks and I shake my head no.
"Wasn't paying attention to anyone other than Uriah and Lauren and Four." I tell her.
"Anyway, you made her look even uglier than before. She has cuts all over her face and looks worse than when you beat her during stage one." I just look at her as she tells me how she looked.
"Again, no more Whiskey for me." I tell her.
"Some people react to some liquor. You just need to stay away from that one and you will be fine." Tori says. "Your's whiskey and mine is rum." I must look confused. "Another alcoholic drink." She explains and I slowly nod.
"Not really exposed to alcohol." I tell her as she puts something over my new tattoo.
"That will heal pretty quick, so don't worry if it falls off." I nod and pull up my pants to cover both tattoos.
"Thank you again." I tell her as Christina and I walk out. "Was Uriah there to see my other Tattoo?" I ask her once out of the shop.
"No, you told him to leave you with your friends and you will see him later." She says.
"I take it I didn't. I woke up with my head on my brother's toilet." Christina laughs.
"That's funny." I shove her as we walk down to the path. I'm tired, yet I want to find Bass. "Hey, we are on a narrow path. I don't want to die." I roll my eyes.
"Where else are you taking me?" I ask her. "Am I free to go or what?"
"You're free to go only because you're in a better mood and you won't kill Four, or try to and end up dead yourself. You can't beat Four, he is stronger than you." I raise an eyebrow at her.
"Are you sure about that? I think I can handle him pretty well. We would be evenly matched." I scoff.
"Andy, don't lie to yourself." She tells me as she walks towards the dorm. I don't, I turn around and walk back up the path and towards the Fearscapes. I didn't see Bass come down. So I'll check there first. I walk over there and nothing. Where could he be? I stop in front of the door and look around. There are other Dauntless members here doing what they do best, daredevil stunts. I shake my head and think. It's hard since I have I migraine. Didn't he say he worked in the control room? Could he be there? I walk over to the elevator on the other side of the glass room and press the button. I probably not suppose to be over here, but who cares. I will kick Eric's ass again if he says anything about it. I don't remember ever coming up here, but I think I remember him telling me during the night he trained me that it's up here and down a hall. So let's hope I find him and no one else. I press the highest button, eight and the doors shut. The trip is short and the doors open. At the end of the hall there is a T. Bass said he work to the left and the only room in that hall. So I go that way. There is a guard and they step in front of me.
"What?" he asks.
"Did Four come up here?" I ask in a bored tone as if I could care less. He steps to the side.
"He is checking on something." I nod and walk past him and continue the way I was going. I open the door and see screens upon screens. Each one showing a part of the city, one of them shows the steps to the glass floor above the pit. He saw me coming. I look at the chair in front of one and see my brother. So I walk over to see what he is watching. It's a tape that shows Tris hoping onto a train. About an half hour ago.
"If you weren't an ass, she wouldn't have left." I deadpan as he stares at the screen. "She is going to her brother." I add.
"How do you know?"He asks me as he looks up from the screen and at me as I lean over him.
"That's what I would do if a boy I liked treated me like crap and humiliated me." I tell him without looking at him. "Flip it over to the erudite faction where the train tracks are." He looks back down and inputs something into the computer and it flips to the camera. There is a set of empty tracks. A minute and the train goes past and Tris jumps out.
"This isn't good." Bass says in a hushed voice.
"You shouldn't have kissed her and treated her like that." I roll my eyes and stand up start with my arms folded over my chest. He shakes his head.
"You don't understand at all." Bass tells me as he turns around in his chair. It's one that swivels.
"Try me, because right now I want to hit you so bad in the jaw so you can't talk or kiss anyone anymore." I tell him firmly.
"I can't favor her. Peter will say I am if I didn't do that." I stare into his eyes. "I did it to help her. Nothing more. I couldn't handle seeing her like that anymore than you could."
"I would have taken care of Peter's mouth, Bass." I deadpan. "He is afraid of me after all."
"You don't get it." He shakes his head and looks back at the screen.
"Why? Because my mind is messed up? My mind is fine. I know how she feels. You yelling at her wasn't you, it was our father." I snap. "I have been in that position. Someone that is supposed to be there for you yells at you like you are worthless. Bass, you acted just like him." He remains silent as he watches Tris walk down the main street of the Erudite faction, sticking out like swore thumb. "One thing I fear is that you will turn into him. Standing over little defenseless girls, yelling at them and calling them pathetic." I tell him as calmly as I can. "You're not him and I understand why you did it. But you sent me into a frenzy because of it. I would have done my best to kill you if it wasn't for Uriah throwing me other his shoulder."
"You have a knack at making people hate themselves." Bass says in a quiet voice.
"No, I have a knack at speaking up when something isn't right. I learned how to stand up and defend people because I know how it feels to be weak or mistreated. I know how to stand up because I went through hell that I don't want anyone else to go through." I correct him. "If it makes you hate yourself, then you need to make it right and tell her when she comes back how you really feel about her. And pray to God she understands and is able to forgive."
"I didn't think it would hurt her like that." He admits. "She is strong and I forget she was from here."
"Now you need to tell her that." I rest a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not mad…anymore and I don't hate you. I thought you should know what you were doing that made her… and I freak out." I tell him. There is a pause. "Why didn't you change her fear, I would have been fine watching someone die." I tell him.
"I didn't know it would affect her like that." Bass tells me as he looks up at me. He really loves her, like me and Uriah.
"She was kidnapped by Peter, Drew and Al. After raking my mind for a reason for her to be near the chasm, I figured out that they attacked her somewhere and took her there." I explain.
"I knew that, but I wasn't thinking it would do something like that." I nod my head.
"Well, I can tell you one thing. Eric and the rest of these people are dense if they believe I would go back to Marcus. Like come on. Most people read the paper and even though most of it is crap, but it still makes people think twice." I shake my head and Bass laughs a little bit.
"No wonder you pretty much broke the simulation and Lauren." He laughs. "You made her feel like she was crap because you were able to brush it off like it was nothing."
"I still got hella pissed. You were holding me back from attacking Eric." I groan and he smirks. "What did people say when I was in there?" I smirk back.
"Well, they think you get violent when you're in fear as well." I shake my head.
"Only when I feel weak." I sigh as I look around the room. On one of the monitors I see the train tracks and both Will and Christina…kissing. "Wow. Looks like you and Tris aren't the only ones getting together." I laugh. Bass looks around and finds the screen I'm looking at.
"Oh God…" He mumbles and I laugh.
"Now I have something over her." I pat Bass's back. "I leave you alone." I tell him before walking out the door.
000
I hear the door open and groan. I'm trying to sleep. The light turns on and I roll over to see who it is.
"Christina, I'm trying to sleep." I mumble before letting my head collapse back down on the pillow. She turns off the light and shuts the door. The only light in here is the torch next to my bed.
"Sorry, Andy. Didn't see you there." she says as she climbs my ladder. "I know you haven't slept in days, but I want to talk to you." I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"God…" I sit up and lean against the wall and look at her. "What?" I yawn. "Do you want?"Her face is a mixture of excitement and fear.
"I can't find Tris." She says.
"She's fine." I go to lay back down, but she stops me.
"How are you sure? I looked everywhere." Christina tells me.
"Before or after kissing Will?" I ask her as I sit back up. She blushes.
"How did you know?" She is a mixture of embarrassment and fear now.
"Where the hell did you think I went after leaving you?" I ask her annoyed and she doesn't answer. "I went to give Four a piece of my mind and I saw the live security camera streams. Tris is fine and that's when I saw you and Will kissing by the tracks." I deadpan. "Now can I please lay back down?"
"No. Where is she?" Christina asks firmly. I can't tell her.
"She is fine, just wanted to be alone." I yawn and lay down. "She doesn't want to be around anyone. But really I don't blame her. I could have killed Four for that crap."
"No you couldn't." She protests.
"I told Four that I could have and he didn't protest. So what does that mean?" I mumble as I snuggle into the pillow again and place my arm around my head, like I normally do. I feel her move and get out of my bed, then the door opens and the light goes one. "God damn it, Turn off the light. I'm turning to sleep." I snap.
"Sorry, I thought you were at Dinner." I hear Tris's voice. Damn it.
"Didn't know it was you." I grumble as I sit up and hang my head over the railing. "Are you feeling any better?" I ask and she nods.
"Where have you been all day?" Christina asks. "I looked for you outside, but I couldn't find you. Is everything okay? Did you get in trouble for hitting Four?" I watch as she shakes her head no.
"I just had to get away. I walked around for a long time." Then she sighs. "And no, I'm not in trouble. He yelled at me, I apologized… that's it." Good. He talked with her.
"Good, because I have something to tell you." Christina blurts out.
"Oh God." I roll back over on the bed as Christina sets her hands on Tris's shoulder.
"Can you be a girl for a few seconds?" She asks her. "Unlike someone else we know." I hold up my middle finger in the air.
"I'm always a girl." Tris says. "And she heard you…" I hear Christina laugh and I put the finger down.
"You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl." She tells her.
"There is no way in hell I will act that way right now. I'm dead tired. You try waking up on a toilet after puking all night." I hear Tris laugh quietly.
"'Kay." Tris says
"Will kissed me." I roll my eyes as Christina gushes.
"What? When? How? What happened?" I groan. I won't be able to sleep anymore, so I sit up and hang my head over the railing and watch.
"You can be a girl." Christina laughs as she removes her hands from her shoulders. "Well, right after you left and Andy finished her new tattoo, Will and I had lunch and then we walked around the train outside near the train tracks. We were just talking about…I don't even remember what we were talking about. And then he just stopped, and leaned in, and … Kissed me." I surprised I didn't get a headache.
"Did you know that he liked you?" Tris asks. "I mean, you know, like that."
"No!" Christina giggles. "The best part was that was it. We just kept walking and talking like nothing happened. Well, until I kissed him."
"How long have you known you liked him?" She asks her like a normal, none Abnegation girl would.
"I don't know. I guess I didn't. But then little things… how he put his arm around me at the funeral, how he opens doors for me like I'm a girl instead of someone who could beat the crap out of him." Tris laughs. There is a pause.
"I'm happy for you." She says after a minute or so.
"Thanks, I'm happy too. And I thought it would be a while before I could feel that way... You know?" Christina turns and sits on Tris's bed, below me. "I can't believe it's almost over. It's like we just got here. But it's also like… like I haven't seen home in forever."
"You miss it?" Tris say as she leans next to the ladder.
"Yeah. Some things are the same, though. I mean, everyone at home is just as loud as everyone here, so that's good. But it's easier there. You always know where you stand with everyone, because they tell you. There's no…Manipulation." She shakes her head. "I don't think I could have made it through Candor initiation, though. There, instead of simulations, you get a lie detector tests. All day, every day. And the final test…" She pauses. "They give you this stuff they call truth serum and sit you in front of everyone and ask you a load of really personal questions. The theory is that if you spill all your secrets, you'll have no desire to lie about anything, ever again. Like the worst about you is already in the open, so why not just be honest?"
"Sounds awful." Tris says.
"I always knew I couldn't be Candor. I mean, I try to be honest, but some things you just don't want people to know. Plus, I like to be in control of my own mind." She says.
"I came really close to choosing Candor for that very reason." I blurt out without thinking. "There are some things I want to tell, but can't. Some things I wish I could scream out, but I won't." Both of them should know what I'm talking about.
"But can you handle you mind being taken over for that to happen?" Christina asks as she looks up at me.
"Whatever it takes to get it out. Sometimes it weighs too heavy on my mind. You two have seen it." I sigh.
"Anyway." Christina stands up and opens a cabinet next to Tris and my bed and a moth flies out. I watch as Christina's face pales and freaks out. "Get it off! Get it OFF!" She repeats over and over again as I laugh.
"It's gone." Tris says before laughing. "You're afraid of…moths?"
"They're disgusting. Those papery wings and their stupid bug bodies." Christina shudders as we both still laugh. "It's not funny, well…Okay, maybe it is. A little." I watch the moth and reach my hand out and catch it. Then I hop over the railing and show it to her.
"I have it now." Christina walks away from me as I hold it next to the fire and let it burn. "It's dead now." I assure her.
"You could have done it from up there."She points out and I laugh.
"You are such a girl, Chris." I joke. "No wonder why you gushed about Will kissing you." She presses her lips together. "I'm glad I didn't do that when Uriah and I did and when I cut my hair." I laugh.
"You and Uriah kissed?" Christina asks. Did I say that? Crap.
"You cut your hair?" Tris asks right after Christina.
"Yeah." I shake my hair to show I have bangs now. "My brother attacked me with scissors today." I explain. "How do you like it?"
"It's cute." Tris says.
"You and Uriah kissed?" Christina asks again, quieter and more confused.
"I didn't say that." I told her quickly before looking at Tris. "Thanks. He said I didn't look bad. But you can never trust your brother when it comes to stuff like this."
"What did Uriah say?" she asks.
"Didn't." I say simply. "I don't think he was paying attention."
"Why not, you look cute. I'm sorry I didn't notice it earlier." She apologizes.
"Your mind was on other things. I don't blame you. But I do blame Christina." I look at her.
"I… just didn't notice it." She says slowly. "We need to make your face more notice able then." What? "What I mean is do something more drastic than a haircut." I stop and think. I have always wanted a lip piercing.
"Would piercing my lip work?" He would have to notice that when we kiss.
"You're will to do that?" she asks.
"Been wanting one." I tell her.
"Then let's go get you one." Christina grabs my arm and pulls me out of the room with Tris in tow.