Tags: Teemo, Yasuo, Lee Sin.
The story starts at a small convenience store, a small rickety building that had been meticulously built years before on the corner of a small secluded street downtown. Various advertising posters and aged yellowish signs are plastered over the windows of the small depressing store, faded pictures of once popular League champions and generally unpopular Summoner's Rift items surrounding its crude grey walls, hastily duck taped there on top of other much older posters.
Some cars can be seen from afar driving by the street once in a while, random pedestrians passing by this gloomy remnant of the past while blatantly ignoring the ancient decrepit League store. The majority of these clearly unimpressed customers not even sparing the open sign that is melancholically hanging on the door a single glance before passing the street and taking their potential business elsewhere.
Behind the unlocked door of the little convenience store the male yordle cashier sets down his newspaper and sighs in sheer boredom. Teemo examines the dusty shelves of his store and the crumpled empty aisles full of useless stuff with a crestfallen expression before he sighs once more and makes to rub a sole frustrated finger against the layers upon layers of dust that are covering the surface of his counter.
Cling Cling
The bronze bell by the door chimes like the trumpets of charitable angels and Teemo instantly puts on a friendly smile on his lips as he turns around to greet his first customers in… probably forever.
"Hello there!" The furry cashier addresses the two weeaboos that have just entered his humble store. One of the aforementioned men being dressed like a samurai of sorts and possessing a flowing bushy ponytail of hair, the other one garbed in the clothes of an Ionian monk with the peculiar addition of having a long piece of red cloth tightly wrapped around his eyes for some odd reason.
The two strangers casually approach the short yordle that is standing on a wooden stool in order to see over the taller counter. Lee Sin proceeds to stand near one of the shelves and fold his arms in a most intimidating manner, while Yasuo leans over the scratched desk to speak at the grinning fluffy cashier.
"Do you have any wards?" The wanted Ionian swordsman murmurs sluggishly as his nervous eyes wander across the crumbling tilted shelves of the store and the empty aisles of the furry man's little cozy establishment. Teemo glances at Lee that's seemingly trying to stare him down from behind his scarlet blindfold and then his gaze returns back to the weeb samurai. Or wannabe Ronin, or whatever.
"Of course." Teemo politely nods with an easy smile as he starts putting things on the antique counter in front of Yasuo.
"We have yellow trinkets, blue trinkets, pink wards and Sightstones! We also have some very fashionable items that generate wards, this sturdy pocket knife for example can hold up to two vision wards in it at a time and its wards can also be easily replenished just by-"
"Shut the fuck up, you squirt! Put all of your Elo into the bag along with your RP cards and influence points!" Yasuo suddenly growls as he drops a ratty bag on the counter while simultaneously drawing his sword and pointing it at poor Teemo. Lee Sin flashes the visibly apathetic yordle a cruel grin as he also makes to leisurely stroll towards the furry man with big and determined strides.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me…" Teemo ruefully mutters under his breath.
"Just put your freaken Elo, RP cards and IP in the bag or Imma gonna give your fucking head a buzz cut!" The enraged Ronin blurts out impatiently as he raises his sword arm threateningly.
"Blindness is no impairment against a smelly enemy." Lee Sin wisely adds his two cents while venomously glaring at a box of Gummy Tibbers, and Teemo simply raises an unimpressed eyebrow at the bare-chested and blindfolded weeaboo monk.
"You know that you are currently talking to my merchandise, right?" The now annoyed cashier loudly wonders and Lee Sin has the gall to openly guffaw before the Blind Monk's fist abruptly collides with an assortment of various goods and colorful candies. Lighters, packets of batteries, cigarettes and cheap lollipops rain down poor Teemo's dusty counter.
"Strike firmly!" Lee chuckles.
The unamused yordle then irritably turns around to address an obviously very angry Yasuo. "Is your boyfriend there stupid or something?" The fearless clerk asks in an admittedly accusing tone.
The bushy-haired samurai's blade descends only to stop mere centimeters away from the throat of the short fluffy cashier, the weeaboo swordsman's face already a bright red from anger and barely reigned hostility.
"Elo, RP cards and Ip in the bag, or my friend and I'll have to start getting physical buddy!
Teemo examines the Ionian Ronin's beet red visage for a second, he then very slowly, very pointedly lowers his hand and rests it against the desk's alarm button.
"Try me." The male yordle states with conviction.
…
The seconds drag by in silence. Teemo and Yasuo are perfectly still, both staring into each other's eyes. Meanwhile Lee Sin is growling at an oval toy vending machine. The Blind Monk's hands securely wrapped around the steel rod that's serving as the base of the capsule dispenser as if the agitated man is attempting to actually strangle it. "Give us the Elo, you fuck!" Lee snarls at the transparent display of the machine "Come on, give us our fucking Elo!"
…
…
…
"Your friend is strangling my toy machine…" The yordle clerk calmly observes and Yasuo swears out aloud as the edge of the blade is swiftly pressed flat against the fuzzy neck of the brave cashier.
Cling Cling
The little bell by the door suddenly rings as a pink-haired woman abruptly enters the store and strolls over to the front counter.
"Two packets of Maokai smokes." Vi cheery exclaims as she impatiently raps her armored knuckles against Teemo's desk, completely ignoring that the Ionian dishonored samurai is currently holding the small cashier at swordpoint. Surprisingly enough the short yordle simply nods in acknowledgement and slides two packets of cigarettes towards the pink-haired enforcer.
"That will be 400 influence points, ma'am."
Vi smiles, drops the correct amount of IP on the short yordle's palm, grabs a red Gummy Tibber from those spilled on the counter and then the Piltovian policewoman just departs from the convenience store whilst whistling a mirthful tune while walking away. Teemo turns back to face the two quiet thieves in his shop with an immensely bored expression worn on his deceptively fluffy visage.
"So where were we, boys?"
There is a long and pregnant pause as the weeaboo Ronin fruitlessly attempts to make sense of what had just transpired. The deadly Ionian katana slowly sinks back into its sheath.
Suddenly, Lee Sin roars in fury and once more clenches the steel rod of the vending machine. "Give us the fucking Elo, you bastard!" The Blind Monk yells against the transparent glass head of his doomed victim. "Just give it to us or you are dead meat, you hear me?!"
Yasuo faceplams at a loss for words. The fuzzy store owner sends the blind monk a fleeting sad look before Teemo grabs a still intact pack of Gummy Tibbers from his desk and unceremoniously tosses it at Yasuo.
"That's on the house, now get lost before your idiot of a friend decides to headbutt my ice-cream freezer and ends up in the hospital."
The weeaboo samurai can only bitterly nods his head in agreement and drag his blind companion away.
Notes: So I wrote a lot of things during my vacation and this one isn't even half as weird as some of the other ones that I wrote. Prepare yourselves...
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Extra: A quiet black-clad figure somehow slips inside the little convenience store without the small bronze bell by the door ever chiming at their arrival. Teemo raises a single curious eyebrow as the cloaked and hooded stranger reluctantly approached his counter.
"H.." The stealthy stranger whispers under their hood and Teemo leans forward, now both of the yordle's eyebrows furrowing in puzzlement.
"Could you repeat that, buddy? The perplexed cashier asks politely and the mysterious figure nods in compliance, an intentionally altered voice muttering 'Of Hunters and Scouts' with some degree of urgency in their fake gruff tone.
"The weird somewhat smutty novel about two crossbow-wielding women and their bizarre blooming romance amidst hate, intrigue and conflict? Teemo questions thoughtfully and the cloaked stranger sharply nods their head at each one of his words.
"Aisle three, right between the Vastayan porn mags and the scientific Piltovian bullshit…"
The hooded stranger stiffly nods and then hurriedly starts tumbling towards their desired smut novels.