Chapter 35. Yūgen
"How beautiful is the universe. How beautiful is the hardship of its inhabitants."
|Naruto|
The man eyed me for a moment, and something must've come to his mind, because after his eyes slightly widened, he proceeded to step back and bow his head.
"How rude of me." He began, "My name is Otsutsuki Jigen. I apologize for any inconveniences Kawaki might've caused you, but I'm here to take him home."
'This is the man that could ruin Konoha.' I thought, and although the situation was serious, I couldn't help myself, 'He's don't look all that tough.'
My assessment of his appearance was cut short by Jigen stepping in and reaching forward to grab Kawaki. Quickly, I shoved him back before forcing Kawaki even further behind me.
Jigen rubbed his chin as he recovered from the blow, "I really wish you wouldn't have done that."
Taking that as a threat, I raised my arms to a fighting position, but before U could fully put up my guard, the woman beside him launched towards me, and a sharp kick to my stomach sent me crumpling to the ground.
"How dare you put your hands on Jigen-sama?" She fumed, her heels clopping further into the apartment before another kick met my side, "Do you wanna die?"
"Delta, stop!" Kawaki called, falling to my side before looking to her, "You don't have to—"
A sharp slap cut him off and I winced for him as I sat up, "Shut your mouth! You've got a lot of nerve talking back after the trouble you've put us through! As worthless as you are, you think you'd at least have some common sense, but no! You're as intelligent as you are useful for Kami's sake!"
Kawaki's hand remained on his cheek, and although he was trying to put on a brave front, I didn't miss the hurt that reflected in his eyes, and that motivated me to shove Delta back as I stood up.
"Y'know, I was taught to never hit a woman," I said, cracking my knuckles, "But it seems like I'll be making an exception for you, ya know."
She looked down at where my hands had touched her turquoise dress, and her eyes narrowed, "Oh, you bastard. You're gonna regret that."
She was fast but now that I was paying attention, her speed blitz wasn't nearly half as effective. I caught her by her ankle as she attempted to roundhouse kick me and struck her square in the face before dropping her leg and kicking her out into the hallway.
Delta stumbled back a bit before falling, and I could help but cringe when her head knocked against the wall. She lay unmoving after the impact, and that's when the hooded figure came closer and knelt to check on her.
Jigen glanced over his shoulder and looked at them for all of two seconds before returning his attention to me and sighing, "I don't want any trouble."
"Then leave." I replied pointedly, keeping my guard up, "You should understand that you're not welcome here."
Jigen shook his head and turned to Kawaki, "If you have an ounce of sense, you'll get over here and we'll leave together. Or do you want someone to get hurt?"
Kawaki grit his teeth and took a step forward, but I held arm out to stop him from progressing any further.
"Nanadaime, I have to go." Kawaki relented, pushing my arm down and continuing to Jigen's side, "These last couple days were…fun. Arigato."
"Kawaki, you're 18, ya know!" I reminded him, grabbing his arm, "You don't have to listen to him."
He shook his head, "You don't get it."
"But I do." I insisted, turning him around to face me, "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you want to go back home with him, ya know. Do that, and I'll butt out."
Kawaki turned to me, his grey eyes filling with tears as he began to speak, "I…I—!"
"You don't have to say anymore." I assured him, "Nobody's taking you anywhere, ya know."
Jigen clicked his tongue, "I can't stand listening to this."
Immediately, I faced him and readied myself for whatever he was about to throw at me, but I realized a little too late that Jigen wasn't interested in fighting fair. He produced two black tonfas from his sleeves and swung them at me, and I bit my tongue as the pain from the arm I'd used to guard against the blow registered throughout my body.
"Uzumaki Naruto, this is your last chance." Jigen warned, "Step aside or suffer the consequences."
I tightened my fists and tucked my chin, "Bring it."
I've been beaten up before, many times in fact, although most of my losses were acquired when I was young and inexperienced going up against someone older and stronger than me. Back then, I stood no chance, but with Jigen and I roughly around the same weight and having somewhat similar frames, I figured my chances of winning were about 50/50.
It turns out that initial hit Jigen had given me was a warning, as when our fight truly began, he came out using 100% of his power. Had it just been his fists, I could've managed, but the dense nature of the tonfas was affecting me. My arms were sore from guarding, and my knuckles were bruised from being blocked by the solid wood; after about ten minutes I could feel myself beginning to slow down.
It must've shown on my face because Jigen capitalized on my weakness and swung faster, harder, pushing me to my limits. A tonfa strike to my chin jolted my nerves, and I lost control of my limbs for a second. With my arms spread wide, it was game over, and I watched almost in slow motion as his right tonfa came flying at my face.
Stars covered my vision as I fell down, and try as I might, I couldn't get back up.
"Nanadaime!" Kawaki called, and I managed to lift my head up to see him coming towards me, only to be stopped by Jigen as he grabbed his left arm.
"Ora, Kawaki." Jigen tilted his head, "It's over. Let's go home."
"Fuck you!" Kawaki raged, "What home?! I'd rather die than go back with you!"
Jigen stared at him for a moment before exhaling through his nose, "I'm at a loss for words. At 18 years old, I'd expect for you to be past these kinds of outbursts."
Kawaki cried out as Jigen tightened his grip around his wrist and squeezed, yanking his arm up into an uncomfortable, and highly painful position.
"I fed you, raised you, put clothes on your back, gave you the best education you could ever receive, and yet this is how you repay me?" Jigen hissed, "If that isn't the height of selfishness, I don't know what is."
Unable to answer from the pain, Kawaki continued to writhe and struggle in his clutches.
"Kawaki…" I groaned as I tried to sit up, but my efforts were in vain.
Any attempt to lift my head beyond its current strained position sent waves of pain bouncing around my skull.
Jigen released Kawaki's arm before walking over to me, "Is it him? Is he the reason you're like this?"
"N-No, he's not." Kawaki stuttered, holding his left arm to his chest and breathing through the pain, "Leave him alone."
"You've only been with him for four days and he's managed to make you more insufferable than you ever." Jigen lifted his boot over me, "That makes him dangerous."
As he finished speaking, he brought his foot down on my chest hard, and I groaned.
"Stop!" Kawaki yelled as Jigen's foot moved up to my neck and began to press against it, "It's not his fault."
"I gave you the opportunity to back down." Jigen grimaced, increasing the pressure on my neck, "But you didn't take it. You have no one but yourself to blame."
I grabbed his foot and tried to lift it up, but to no avail. As my lungs began to burn from a lack of oxygen, I couldn't help but wonder if this was how Hinata had felt that night.
"Stop, Father!" Kawaki plead, coming up to him and grabbing his arm, "I'll go back, and I'll never disobey you again so please! Promise me you'll let Nanadaime live!"
"…Hmph. Very well." Jigen agreed, removing his foot from my neck, "If only you'd done this from the start."
I took in as much air as I could once the pressure was gone and rolled over onto my stomach before coughing and trying to regain my natural breathing rhythm. As I did so, Kawaki knelt on the ground to lace his sneakers, and once they were tied, Jigen nodded and the two turned to leave.
Unwilling to give up, I grabbed Jigen by the back of his leg and pulled myself up.
"Kawaki, I told you…" I wheezed as I got into a sitting position, "Nobody's taking you anywhere…"
Kawaki's hands curled into fists at his sides, and he scrunched his eyes shut, "Nanadaime, enough!"
"But—"
"This is meaningless." Jigen cut me off, shoving Kawaki forward before turning back to me, "Sleep well, Nanadaime."
"Wait, Father! Don't!" Kawaki called, but it was too late.
Jigen's heavy black boot collided with the side of my head almost right after he'd finished speaking, and I fell flat on my back as I began to lose consciousness.
The last thing I heard was Kawaki yelling, "You promised!" before everything went black.
"Naruto-kun? Daijōbu?" I slowly turned to my right and found Hinata staring at me, concern etched on her face, "You're sweating."
I looked around and found myself in our old, shared house, specifically the living room. Hinata muted the TV before setting the remote down and turning back to me, clearly expecting an explanation for my disheveled state.
"What's…happening?" I questioned, rubbing my head, "I was just with Kawaki and then I…? Where is he?"
"Kawaki?" She furrowed her eyebrows, "Who's that?"
"He's—"
"I'm home!" Boruto called from the front door.
Light footsteps scampered down the stairs towards his voice, and he let out an oof before the living room door slid open.
"Tou-chan, call an ambulance!" Boruto joked as he entered the room with Himawari in his arms, "Hima almost took me out just now, ya know!"
Himawari giggled before sliding down his arms and running over to where her mother and I were seated, "Mama, can we start now that Onii-chan's home? You said we had to wait for him!"
"Yes, yes now we can start." Hinata chuckled as she stood up, heading over to the fridge, "Your father bought you a special cake just for today."
"Tou-chan did?" Boruto questioned dubiously, giving me a side eye. "Hope it's not ramen flavored."
Himawari laughed as Hinata brought the vanilla white cake out and set it down in the middle of the table, "It can't be. Arigato, Papa!"
The three of them looked to me with a smile and I swallowed hard as I realized I was reliving the worst night of my life.
"Uh, I need a minute." I excused myself as I stood up, "I'll be right back, ya know."
"Papa?" Himawari called anxiously, and I gave her a weak smile before leaving the room and heading for the bathroom.
Once I was inside, I turned the sink on and quickly splashed cold water on my face. I did this three times before letting out a deep breath and looking at myself in the mirror.
'This is a dream.' I surmised as I toweled off any excess water, 'Jigen knocked me out and this is my brain coping until I wake up.'
When something like this happened in the movies, the main character would smash their head on the ground or shoot themselves to wake up, but I wasn't too confident in using such methods. Besides, who knew how much time had passed since I'd lost consciousness? Even if the dream were to be interrupted and I woke up right now, there was no doubt in my mind that at least an hour would've passe, and if that was the case, then I'd be better off sitting through the recollection of events.
I made up my mind as I nodded to myself, and I stepped out of the bathroom and back into the hallway. Of course, the three of them had moved to the dining table, and they sat around the table talking while Himawari's cake remained in the center with the lit number candles sitting on top.
"Tou-chan, everything alright?" Boruto questioned, standing up to meet me.
I ruffled his hair, "Aa. I was feeling sick, but a quick bathroom trip fixed everything."
Boruto made a face and smacked my hand from his head, "Ew! Don't tell me you took a dump!"
"Pfft!" Himawari cracked up, and I turned to her as I felt my cheeks grow hot.
"Not in five minutes, you goofball!" I hurriedly defended myself against his accusations, "And even if I did, what's so 'ew' about it? It's natural, ya know!"
"Sure it is! But you can't just come touch my hair after that!" Boruto fussed.
"Like I said, I didn't take a dump!"
Hinata called for an end to our little argument, and Boruto gave me a look before returning to his seat grumbling. I gave him the same look back as I took my own seat, but the tension was swiftly swept away when Hinata began the birthday proceedings.
Each of us told Himawari how much she meant to us and presented our gifts to her before she finally stood before the cake and made her wish.
"I wish for a little sister!" She gleefully cried before bowling out the candles.
Boruto patted her on the back, "Are you sure that's what you want? She'll end up stealing your clothes, ya know."
"That's fine." Himawari shrugged before turning to her mother and I, "I'll teach her to take your stuff instead."
From then on, the night proceeded exactly how I remembered it, and it was only when I got to the bedroom with Hinata that I had to pause.
"Naruto-kun?" Hinata snapped her fingers in front of me, "Are you sure you're okay?"
I nodded and pulled her into a kiss before she could ask any more questions. When we separated, her cheeks were flushed and red, and she had transformed into her alluring self.
"Hinata, tonight I want all of you, ya know." I said as I led her to the bed, "Will you give yourself to me?"
"O-Of course." She stammered as I slid her pants down and off her legs, "But when you say it like that—!"
She cut herself off with a yelp and as I slid my fingers up her slit, I whispered, "You're mine tonight."
Hinata whimpered needily before nodding her head.
Everything remained the same, from the way I touched her to the way I ate her out. The only change this time around was that I didn't bother getting a condom like I'd done before and based on how Hinata invitingly spread her legs for me, I didn't need one.
Just like that night, sinking into her felt glorious, and soon I was surrounded by a tirade of sounds and sensations. But this time, when it came to me putting my hands on her neck, I resisted the dark urge to continue and instead let go of her as soon as she tapped on my wrists.
"Hinata, daijōbu?" I questioned as she took a deep breath.
After some time, she finally nodded, and I sat up.
"Gomennasai." I apologized, "I didn't mean…I won't do it again."
She sat up with me and held my face in her hand, "No, it's not—I didn't not like it, I…just be gentler."
I nodded before lifting my hand to her neck again and lightly squeezing, "Like this?"
"…You could be a bit firmer." She encouraged, and I tightened my hold.
"Are you sure?" I whispered, swiping my thumb up and down her throat, "I don't want to hurt you."
Hinata smiled and nodded before pushing my hand even firmer against her throat, "You could never hurt me."
At this, I kissed her before lowering her into the bed and reveled in the way she shuddered as we both neared our peaks.
"I'm there…!" I grunted as I reached my climax, "Hinata!"
She moaned as she came, and wrapped her arms around my back, "Naruto-kun…!"
"Hinata…!" I breathed as I fell beside her.
I continued to murmur her name as I held her close, and everything started to blend together. Soon enough, I was ripped away from the correct way things should've gone that night and back in my singe apartment. Someone was crouched over me and holding a phone to their ear.
"Aa, I'm here with him now." The familiar voice affirmed, "Arigato, Jigen-ojisama. I owe you one."
Although my vision was still somewhat hazy, it cleared up enough for me to recognize Toneri standing over me.
"Toneri…?" I called questioningly as he stood up.
"Naruto, Naruto, Naruto." He shook his head, "Some things never change."
He helped me up off the floor and hooked one of my arms around his shoulder in order to keep my standing. I pressed a hand against my pounding head before looking around.
"Where's Kawaki? And that Jigen bastard, ya know." I mumbled, "I'll teach him a lesson."
Toneri sighed, "No, you won't."
Testing my legs out, I figured that they were somewhat stable enough for me to stand on and immediately pushed up off Toneri.
"What do you mean?" I asked as I straightened up and turned to him.
He pursed his lips, "…It's not a story for here. Come with me."
I opened my mouth to argue but when he reached the front door, he looked back at me.
"Please." He pled with me, light blue eyes softening, "If not for your sake, then at least do it for Hinata's."
With a heavy exhale, I nodded my head and followed after him.
|Sasuke|
"Keep your hand steady." I advised Ren as he reloaded the pistol, "Remember, the recoil is caused by the slide, not the bullets. That means after every shot you need to take a second to pause and correct your aim."
Ren nodded before bringing the pistol to his eyes, and I stepped back to give him his personal space. He took a deep breath, tilted his head to one side, and proceeded to shoot and hit ten out of the fifteen bottles I had set up. When he'd emptied the mag, he let out a heavy exhale before turning to me with a nervous grin, and I realized I had unconsciously crossed my arms.
I couldn't help but get a sense of déjà vu at this scene, recalling how I'd given the same expectant look to my father back in the days of my youth.
We'd been at the Uchiha's private gun range in the back of the compound, and I'd called him out to see how my aim had improved. After hitting thirteen out of the fifteen targets, I'd turned to him hoping for some kind of praise, but instead I met him with his arms crossed and face firm as ever. He'd simply exhaled through his nose before walking away, and I never asked him to come watch me again.
'None of that matters now.' I said to myself, shaking my head, 'It's all in the past.'
"So?" Ren spoke up, my silence probably unnerving him, "How did I do?"
Seeing the eagerness on his face reminded me of my younger self, and I gave him the words that I had so desperately wanted my father to share with me back then.
"You did well." I commended him as I patted him on the head, ruffling his hair, "With a bit more practice, you'll be able to hit them all."
His smile spread into a large grin, "I'll do my best!"
I held my hand out for the gun and made sure to switch the safety back on once it was in my clutches.
"Now clean this mess up so we can head back." I ordered, checking my watch, "It's 11:13. You know Misaki doesn't like it when we stay out so late."
"Hehe, I'll tell her it was worth it tonight." He laughed before bounding over to the logs and picking up the shattered glass.
Humming a light tune as he worked, I couldn't help but marvel at how much he'd changed since I'd first met him.
It'd been the day after Otafuku festival that Karin and I started our search for Ren, and with Kakuzu's help, we'd managed to get a list of places he could be. Thankfully, there hadn't been a need to check every spot, as we happened to come upon him at the first location: the local youth center.
"Excuse me, would you happen to know someone by the name of Ren?" Karin asked, stopping a young pink-haired boy who had stepped out of the center.
The boy narrowed his eyes before looking between the two of us suspiciously, "Yeah, I do. Why? He in some kind of trouble?"
Karin and I shared a look, agreeing that his reaction meant he was either the Ren we were looking for or a close friend of his. Recalling that the kanji for Ren could mean love or lotus, I was more inclined to believe that we had found him, as he would've been accurately named for his cerise-pink hair, just as his sister had been named Ran for her plum-purple hair.
"I knew his sister." I said, bringing out the letter Ran had written and deciding to go along with his rouse of anonymity, "She told me to give this to him if something ever happened to her."
The boy snatched the letter from my hands, erasing any doubts I might've had about his identity, and I shoved my hands into my pockets as he read its contents. I could've sworn his eyes flashed with hurt towards the end of the page, but I couldn't be sure because when he looked up, all I saw in him was malice.
"Heh? So you're the sucker my sister finessed?" Ren sneered as he crumpled up the piece of paper, "Well, don't worry about she told you, alright? I'll be fine on my own."
I shook my head, "Ran-san said you—"
"I don't care what she said, old man." He interrupted venomously, "In case you didn't realize, she's dead! That moron died doing what she loved: being a whore. And honestly? Good riddance!"
At that, I stepped forward, feeling a vein tightening in my forehead, "What? Watch your mou—"
I cut myself off when I felt Karin grab my arm and turned to find her shaking her head.
"She was such an airhead, I'm not even surprised that she overdosed." Ren continued with a shrug, stuffing the paper into his pocket, "It works out for me anyways, having a sister like that was…was…"
He cut his own tirade off by bursting into tears and dropping to his knees.
"Nee-san, you idiot…!" He sniffled, punching the ground, "You said you'd always be with me…"
Karin knelt in front of the boy and placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder as he continued to cry, "Come with us, Ren. We promised your sister we'd take care of you."
Ren rubbed his eyes as he got to his feet, "People break promises."
"Sometimes they do." I recognized the truth in his words, "But we wouldn't break this one. Ran-san was…was very close to us."
"H-How did you guys know her?" He questioned with a hiccup, wiping under his nose.
Karin gave him a light smile, "Let's just say that I used to live just like her when I was younger."
"Really? So then…" His eyes drifted down to her right hand and when he spotted the ring on her index finger, "You two are married?"
"We are." I responded with a curt nod.
The look on his face told me he wanted a more concrete answer, but before anything could come to mind, Karin stepped in again and pulled him close.
"How do you think the two of us met?"
"Toshiaki-sensei! I'm finished!" Ren called, returning to me with a bag of broken glass and the two intact bottles, "Sorry I took so long!"
"No, you didn't. I was—wait. Sensei?" I repeated the honorific, just now catching it, "Why the title?"
Ren grinned sheepishly, "Well, you're teaching me how to shoot guns, so I just figured…"
As I looked him over, I could see that he was becoming somewhat uncomfortable at having been called out.
I decided to think nothing of it and waved my hand, "If it helps you sleep at night, then go ahead."
He smirked, "It sure will."
I playfully swatted him on the back, and he ran ahead of me towards the back of the Akatsuki compound. Where we'd been practicing hadn't been that far out, just a couple meters into the woods behind HQ, so that if anything notable happened, we'd be able to run back immediately.
As I greeted the late-night guards, I figured that tonight had been another calm night, seeing as how neither of them had any message to relay.
Oh, how wrong I was.
Ren shouted some poorly worded excuse over his shoulder before disappearing once we were inside, and I figured I would catch him before I went to bed. I continued to the mess hall and found Karin sitting beside an animated Deidara, who seemed to be telling her something horrifying, because the look on her face was unmatched. Across from them sat a bored a Hidan and a neutral Suigetsu, and the two of us made eye contact.
We shared a nod as I approached, and I went around the table to place a hand on Karin's shoulder in greeting.
"Daijōbu?" I asked as Deidara paused his story, "You look like you just got the worst news in the world."
"Probably because of what Deidara just told us." Suigetsu chipped in, nodding towards the blond.
I turned to Deidara expectantly and he opened his mouth with a smile, "You're not gonna believe this, hm. So, Scorpion went out to the—"
"For fuck's sake!" Hidan groaned, banging his fist on the table and leaning back, "I can't listen to this again. Long story short, Sasori went to Konoha to apologize to that Sakura chick for how he spoke to her during the festival, and she shot herself."
"…What?" I blinked, pressing a hand to my forehead, "I—She…what?"
Deidara clicked his tongue, "Screw you, Hidan. If you tell it like that, people will think she shot herself because of Scorpion. Toshiaki-san, listen to me; Sakura shot herself before he could speak to her. Hell, he hadn't even stepped out of his car when he heard the gunshot, hm."
That additional detail did little to relieve the sickness rising up my throat, "Is she alive?"
At this, Hidan snorted, "Fuck, no. A bullet to the brain? She was dead the moment she pulled the trigger, everyone knows that."
I held onto Karin's shoulder in order to stay standing, as I was sure I wouldn't be able to take one step away from that table without my legs turning to jelly.
"Which is why Scorpion bringing her here is the dumbest thing any of us have ever done." Hidan muttered, "You guys got on me for wanting to kill Sarada because she was an extra witness, yet he brings a cop's dead wife back with him and nobody bats an eye."
"Wait, she's…here?" I swallowed hard and looked down when I felt Karin's hand cover my own and give me a gentle squeeze, "Where? Why?"
Deidara sighed, no longer as excited as before, "Sasori brought her to Orochimaru to see if he could do something, and I thought he would've said no, but he got this look in his eye and took her down to the lab. Poor lady's probably getting her organs removed as we speak."
The thought of Sakura's body being desecrated was enough to put some strength back into my legs, and I let go of Karin's shoulder, "I'll go find out."
"Why?" The question came from Suigetsu, who had remained oddly silent throughout the discussion, "What's it matter to you?"
Everyone's eyes were on me due to his inquiry, and I glanced at Karin before returning my gaze to him and speaking slowly, "Are you guys forgetting that this…Sakura woman is an Uchiha, and that her daughter Sarada is still close to us? How long do you think it'll take before she reports her mother missing and we all wake up six feet under?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Deidara and Hidan slowly nodding their heads as they considered my words and accepted their soundness. I turned my attention to Suigetsu as I continued to explain myself, swallowing hard at the next few words that would leave my mouth.
"I don't particularly care about Sakura, but I won't allow Orochimaru's twisted fantasies to get us all killed." I concluded with a firm voice before turning and walking away.
Hidan whistled behind me, "That's our lieutenant for you!"
I paid his sarcastic praise no mind and continued on to the elevator. Pressing the required button combinations, I looked to the floor counter and allowed the green laser to scan my retina. After verifying my identity, the doors shut, and the elevator began its descent.
The ride down was smooth but when the doors eventually slid open, the queasiness I'd felt earlier tried to return. With each step I took into the lab, the discomfort grew, until my stomach was no different from a violent whirlpool. Except for the red light above the operating room down the hall, the lab was practically in darkness, I swallowed hard before heading for it.
When I took a peek through the window, sure enough, Orochimaru towered over an unmoving Sakura on the surgical table. I wasted no time in bursting through the doors and Orochimaru turned to me, unfazed, almost as if he had expected me.
"What's going on here?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice level when I noticed the sharpie in his hand, "What are you planning to do?"
"I'm going to bring her back to life." Orochimaru chuckled, picking up a small scalpel and holding it up to the light, "Or at least try to. Can you imagine how life works? I was just thinking about sending Jūgo and Suigetsu to get me some bodies for practice when Sasori dragged her in."
I grabbed his shoulder and turned him to me, fighting the urge to dig my fingers into his arm, "Is that all she is to you? Practice?"
"No…she's not." He studied me carefully before continuing, "I seriously intend to bring her back to life, but you understand that this has never been done before, and for my first attempt to be on a suicide victim…this will be tough."
I silently winced as I was reminded of her cause of death, and I released his arm and let him return to her. Kabuto excused himself as he wheeled the Madoka boy in, and I followed him with my eyes. Truth be told, I had completely forgotten about him, his capture having slipped my mind once I had secured Sarada's safety, but now I could see how terrible of a mistake that was.
He was unnaturally pale and thin; so much so that I could see his veins throughout his body, and for a split second I envisioned his parents, hopeless and crestfallen, believing their son had been killed by some madman and that it was only a matter of time before they stumbled upon his remains.
Perhaps such a fate would've been better.
"What are you going to do with him?" I questioned as Kabuto attached a needle to an intravenous drip and hooked it up to the boy's arm.
"Filter his blood into her." Orochimaru answered, taking the other end of the IV and poking the needle into one of Sakura's veins, "If only you knew how much of an abnormality he is."
I watched as Tentō's blood slowly climbed up the tube before being drawn into the bag and then draining into Sakura. This wasn't right, and I knew it, but as sick as Orochimaru was, he never did things without purpose.
'That doesn't change anything.' I couldn't help but scold myself, 'This boy is someone's child, and he's here playing a living blood bag for some corrupt science experiment.'
"I'll save her." Orochimaru's declaration forced me out of my thoughts, and I turned to find him staring at me, "Rest assured, Toshiaki, Sakura will come back."
I started to nod before quickly realizing how strange it was for me to be so invested in this.
"Just don't gut her beyond recognition." I cleared my throat, attempting to sound tough, "If things don't work, we need her body intact to stage her death in a way that won't draw too much suspicion."
Orochimaru bowed his head, "I'll do my best not to damage her, you have my word."
I gave Sakura one last look; there was so much I needed to say, so much we needed to do…she couldn't be gone. She just couldn't be.
'Please, do your best.' I prayed before turning and exiting the operation room.
|3rd Person|
"Kabuto, lights." Orochimaru called out once the door had swung shut behind Sasuke.
Kabuto immediately reached up to the overhead lamp arm and upped the brightness before bringing the source closer to Sakura's head, "Are we really going to bring her back to life, sir?"
"We have to." Orochimaru insisted, turning Sakura over before switching on an electric shaver, "The woman has only just passed away compared to Yahiko or even Rin, if we can't revive her, what makes you think things will be any different with persons long since passed away?"
Kabuto nodded and went silent as Orochimaru shaved the back of Sakura's head clean. Once he was done, he quickly swept away the hairs clinging to her skin before wiping her unfettered surface with an alcohol prep pad. Convinced that the area was clean, he lifted the scalpel to the center of her head and cut down until he was a few inches from her nape.
"Besides," Orochimaru continued as Kabuto peeled her skin back, "Her death is my fault in a way."
Kabuto couldn't mask his surprise, "How?"
Orochimaru used the sharpie to draw a light outline of where he would cut into her skull, "Eleven years ago, I was looking for an Uchiha to experiment on, and one day Shin gleefully claimed to have captured one for me. Of course, I didn't believe him and sent Tayuya to collect the subject in my stead."
"It turned out that he'd brought Sakura due to some foolish grudge he had against her so Tayuya rejected the offer." Orochimaru recounted as he gently dragged the scalpel along the guidelines, "He begged for Tayuya to change her stance, but when she continued to say no, he changed his tune and asked to be let into one of our secret labs while he found another way to get rid of her."
Kabuto nodded, handing Orochimaru a drill, "And that's how we lost that one place in Suna."
"Because of that fool." Orochimaru confirmed, clicking his tongue before gently drilling three holes into the cut base of Sakura's skull, "He reached out to Danzō in hopes that he would take her, but Danzō had been trying to get the Uchiha under his thumb for months, so he killed Shin and rescued Sakura instead."
"I'm confused." Kabuto admitted, gently plucking the cut skull piece out from its cut groove, "All of this happened in the past. How does any of that make her suicide your fault?"
"She was pregnant." Orochimaru clarified, slicing open the thin layer of skin above Sakura's brainstem, "This whole ordeal resulted in her losing the child, and by lazily keeping tabs on her, I learned that she was confined in a mental hospital for an entire year. None of that would've happened to her if I'd kept Shin on a tighter leash."
Kabuto pursed his lips before handing Orochimaru the syringe filled with a light blue liquid, and Orochimaru injected it directly into Sakura's brain before emptying its contents. Once he was done, Kabuto spoke, this time to pose a hypothetical.
"What are we going to do if she comes back and tries to kill herself again?"
Orochimaru chuckled as the imploded parts of Sakura's brain began to rebuild herself, "Hopefully the experience of dying will be enough to cure her of her suicidal urges, but just in case that's not enough, we'll strap her down to the bed."
It took about fifteen minutes for Sakura's head to restore itself, and once the only thing remaining was the initial incision on the back of her head, Orochimaru quickly stitched the flesh together and returned Sakura to her original resting position. Kabuto made sure her eyes were closed as Orochimaru reached under the table for a small white box.
Bringing it to the surface, he uncovered it and grabbed a handful of ash before sprinkling it over Sakura.
"In all my years of research, I never once considered looking to the supernatural for answers." Orochimaru said as he spread the dust out, "What a terrible error. I was so focused on attempting to beat death through logic and calculations, that I never even realized how foolish that was when trying to solve an illogical problem."
Kabuto returned to his side with a black book and held it to him, "But this Shinigami method…the people we spoke to said that the person never comes back the same."
"That's because they never considered careful thought in their application of the ritual." Orochimaru took the book and placed it on Sakura's stomach, "The Madoka boy's blood is an anomaly; she has supernatural solution surging through her body. Then there's the healing mixture I've perfected which can correct the most devastating wounds in under an hour…her body is in tip-top condition. This can't fail."
Kabuto nodded, agreeing with Orochimaru's reason for believing in their success, and with that, Orochimaru began to read.
"*The seeping crest of corruption, the arrogant vessel of madness. Deny thy seething urge, be stunned and flicker…"
|Above The Lab|
Karin and Sasuke shared a light hug before Sasuke announced he was going to bed.
"Aw, so soon?" Deidara questioned as the two released each other, "What? Did Orochimaru do something down there to make you sick?"
Sasuke shook his head, "No, I'm just tired."
"I'm with you." Hidan nodded and stood up from the table, "It was a hot, slow, day. Hopefully the boss gives us something fun to do soon. I don't know how much more boredom I can take."
Jūgo appeared in the doorway of the mess hall and waved Suigetsu over, and after excusing himself from the group, Suigetsu joined his partner and went out of sight. Karin could've sworn Suigetsu gave her a knowing look before leaving, but couldn't be sure, and Sasuke apologized as he touched her arm.
"Gomen, Misaki. but could you find Ren before you come up? He ran off once we got back inside; I would look for him myself but…"
Karin waved a hand, "I'll find him. You just get some rest, okay?"
Sasuke nodded and Karin squeezed his hand before the two left the mess hall and went their separate ways. While Sasuke stood by the elevator waiting for it to come down, Karin ventured outside of the main house.
The hot summer air hit her face almost instantaneously, but she paid it no mind as she continued through the grounds towards the garden. In the five days that Ren had been with them, he'd made it clear that besides being around Sasuke, the garden was his favorite place to be.
At first, Karin found it odd that a fifteen-year-old would be so fond of the flowers, but after giving it some thought, she supposed there were worse things he could've been drawn to. Therefore, when Karin turned the corner into the small hedge maze, she wasn't the least bit surprised to find the pink-haired teen sitting on the bench twirling a white rose in his hands.
However, she was a bit startled to see Konan beside him, speaking lowly into his ear with an arm around his shoulder pulling him close. Karin didn't attempt to quiet her footsteps as she approached, so the two turned to her.
"Misaki-san, perfect timing." Konan greeted Karin with a small smile, "I was telling Ren everything he needed to know about a white rose, and he yawned. Can you believe that?"
"Not…not true." Ren objected sleepily, and Karin chuckled as she took a seat beside Konan, "I was just…stretching my teeth."
"Right." Karin rolled her eyes as Konan laughed and rubbed his back, "If you're that tired, you should head to bed. Toshiaki-kun already went up."
"I'm not…!" Ren insisted with another yawn, leaning his head against Konan's shoulder, "Just let me…rest my eyes for a couple minutes and I'll be okay."
Konan and Karin shared a look as Ren shut his eyes and the tow smiled before sitting in silence for a bit. After some time had passed, Karin snapped her fingers in front of Ren's face and got no reaction.
"He's out like a light." Konan noted with a hum, "So much for resting his eyes."
Karin nodded before glancing at Konan, "So, is everything alright, Joō-sama? I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to see you here this late."
"Pain's been busy lately, leaving me a lot of time to myself." Konan shrugged her shoulders before looking down at Ren, "Time I've been using to think."
"About?" Karin questioned warily.
Konan turned to her, "I…overheard Pain on the phone a couple days ago saying that Orochimaru thinks he's beaten death. If what he's been working on turns out to be successful and Yahiko comes back, what are we going to do next?"
Karin shook her head, unsure of how to respond, and Konan went on.
"Akatsuki was started to help people, but ever since Yahiko died, all we've done was the opposite. What will Yahiko say to us? What…What if he hates us? Hates me?"
"You?" Karin couldn't help but interject at that, "Why would he hate you? You didn't do anything."
"That's the problem." Konan admitted as tears beaded together on the tips of her eyelashes, "I stood by while Nagato did whatever he wanted for almost thirty years. He may have been calling the shots, but my neutrality is what egged him on. I could—should have said something."
Karin lifted her hand to brush away Konan's tears, "Like what?"
"I—I should've told him I loved him." Konan's breath hitched, "That even though Yahiko was dead, that we still had each other; we could still make things work. Instead, I was busy crying over a man who was already gone."
"Joō-sama…" Karin's voice was filled with sympathy, "You loved Yahiko, of course you needed time to grieve."
A cool summer breeze filtered through the gardens, giving them a moment of respite from the sweltering emotions that had flared up. Still, Konan could not be convinced.
"I was done grieving when I first slept with Nagato." She chuckled mournfully, "Oh, Buddha be merciful, you don't know how terrible I really am, Misaki-san."
"Tell me." Karin encouraged, squeezing Konan's hand lightly, "I'm sure you're not as bad as you think you are."
"Really?" Konan's voice dropped to an uncertain murmur, "After our first time, I slept with Nagato every night hoping he'd fall in love with me, but it was obvious that Yahiko had his heart. For a while the sex was enough, but the more I thought about him, the more I feared losing him."
"That's natural." Karin tried to reason with her, "When you care about someone, you're always gonna worry about them."
Konan shook her head, "…I thought the only way to keep him interested would be to get him jealous. So I…"
"Kyūsuke?" Karin tried gently, and at his name, Konan wilted.
"I told you I was terrible." She said weakly, "I had a man killed so I could feel loved."
"Wait." Karin didn't bother to hide her confusion, "You got him killed on purpose?"
"No, I—" Konan held a hand to her head, "I really did want to sleep with Kyūsuke, Nagato coming back just happened to be a case of bad luck. But…oh Misaki-san, you should've seen the look on his face as he dragged Kyūsuke out of the room; he was furious. And that night when we slept together, the way that he…Buddha forgive me."
"Did he hurt you?" Karin asked tenderly, her sympathy bleeding into her voice much moreso than before.
"Yes and no. He was so angry and possessive but I…liked it." Konan uttered the last two words in a low voice, "For the first time, it felt like he…wanted me. I'm disgusting, aren't I?"
Whether it was Stockholm syndrome or battered woman syndrome, Karin couldn't be sure, but she knew better than to hurt the feelings of someone already feeling so low.
"You're not." Karin assured her, "You wanted him to love you."
"But he didn't and still doesn't." Konan gloomily concluded, "It's always been Yahiko for him, and when he brings him back I—there won't be any room for me."
Karin thought to herself for a moment, wondering what she could say to could console Konan or relieve her of her worries, but truly she couldn't think of anything.
"Well, that's enough whining from me." Konan cleared her throat, standing up and lifting Ren along with her, "Have a goodnight, Misaki-san."
Karin took Ren from her, and Konan gave her a sad smile before walking away. Karin sighed at her newfound knowledge of Konan's innermost feelings; at least Konan was no longer showing signs of suicidal thoughts, but when Karin thought back to the tears that had accumulated in her eyes, she figured that Konan was far from healed.
Two heads were better than one, and Karin would've liked to have Sasuke's input on how she should interact with Konan considering they were close to wrapping up, but that wasn't going to be possible considering how she hadn't told Sasuke of Konan's breakthrough.
As far as he knew, Konan was still under the influence of Pain's "happy" treatment, and Karin had thought it was best to keep it that way. Sasuke's confession aside, Karin felt that he was still too close to Pain, and while she understood that in the end, everyone they'd connected with would be jailed, sometimes Sasuke seemed as if he wanted to be one of them.
And it would be a lie if Karin said that she hadn't imagined it. When she was offered a moment of respite, her intrusive thoughts whispered to her awful suggestions about abandoning life in Konoha, assuming her alternate personality for good and taking Sasuke for herself. She never let those thoughts sit for too long, but still, they had their effect.
Sakura's appearance tonight, however, had been the wake-up call she needed. Sasuke was spoken for, and any attempt to deceive herself into thinking otherwise would only hurt her in the end.
Coming to this conclusion, Karin lightly shook Ren awake, "Come on, let's go to bed."
"Huh?" Ren rubbed his eyes sleepily, "Yeah, okay. Okay."
|At Otsutsuki Heights|
Kawaki covered his head with his arms and shut his eyes against the multitude of kicks he was being subjected to.
"Jigen-sama thinks I'm dumb." Deepa chuckled as he landed a solid kick on Kawaki's unguarded stomach, "But you really took the cake with this stunt."
Kawaki had no choice but to drop his guard, his hand flying to his pained gut out of reflex, and that was when Code delivered a sharp kick to his face. Kawaki hit his head hard against the solid wood floor and went still for a moment.
As Code lifted his foot to stomp on Kawaki again, Koji entered the living room.
"Enough." Koji's deep voice rang out, stepping forward to assert his presence, "He's learned his lesson. Besides, Jigen-sama has summoned him."
"Aw, come on." Deepa spat, crossing his arms, "We didn't even start yet."
Code followed suit but kept his thoughts to himself, instead staring Kawaki down as Koji helped him to his feet. Kawaki returned the glare for a few seconds before dropping his gaze as he recalled something, and Code smirked at having won their exchange.
Koji escorted Kawaki out and into the hallway, and once they were a considerable distance away, he took Kawaki's chin in his hand and lifted his face up, "Doesn't look like they got you too badly."
"I kept my guard up." Kawaki replied, unable to keep his lips from curving.
"Just like I taught you. Good." Koji chuckled, before stepping aside and nodding towards the firm oak door at the end of the hall, "He's waiting."
Kawaki's small smile was swept off his face at the reminder, and he nodded before continuing down the hall. When he reached the brown door, he couldn't help but turn back to Koji for support, and Koji gave it to him with a thumbs up.
Taking in a deep breath, Kawaki knocked on the door.
"Enter." Jigen called, and Kawaki turned the knob.
Inside, Jigen sat behind an antique mahogany desk and was looking over some papers. He glanced up at the intrusion, but once he recognized that it was Kawaki, he stood up.
"Son." Jigen said as he came around the table towards him, reaching out to pull him into a hug, "How are you feeling?"
"…Fine." Kawaki answered, reluctantly returning the embrace.
Jigen pulled back and ran his thumb under Kawaki's swelling eye before dragging it over his busted lip, "I see you greeted Deepa and Code."
"Something like that." Kawaki murmured.
Jigen smiled before patting his cheek, "They were worried about you. I was worried about you. We love you; you know that."
"Yes." Kawaki held a long blink, resigning himself to something, "I…feel the same."
Jigen seemed to be expecting something else from him, and his eyes narrowed to convey that. Swallowing hard, Kawaki lowered his gaze.
"And I—I apologize for my outburst back at Nanadaime's place. I'm very grateful for the life you've given me."
Satisfied, Jigen rested his hand on Kawaki's shoulder before motioning for him to sit.
"…When I was a bit younger than you, I was selected to be the ward of the then-head of the Otsutsuki Clan: Lord Isshiki." Jigen said, walking over to one of the portraits on the wall and correcting its slight tilt, "He was old, and didn't have many years left in him, but he spent the little time he had teaching me everything he knew. It was because of him that I grew to become the man I am today."
"Kawaki, I'm reminding you of this because we're the same." Jigen's voice dipped into an undertone of compassion as he continued, "Just like me, you aren't an Otsutsuki by blood, yet you have the Otsutsuki's will to dominate within you. It's the reason for your stubbornness: you want to be in control, and one day you will be if you'd just listen to me."
Kawaki nodded.
Jigen returned to his seat across from him and slid him one the papers that he'd been looking at. Kawaki lifted it up and began the reading the information it contained as Jigen continued to speak.
"As the head of the Otsutsuki main family, my duty is not only to maintain but to expand the clan's legacy. And since you will one day take my place, you're going to start helping me."
"Who's this Uchiha Sarada?" Kawaki questioned, looking over her picture.
"An essential asset." Jigen explained, folding his hands on the table, "Although she's two years younger than you, she's the reason shabu became so popular in Konoha, and since the production of shabu has come under our acquisition, we need her."
Kawaki tilted his head, "Okay, I get that but…what do you want me to do?"
At this, Jigen smirked and leaned forward, "Y'know, it's a good thing we're not related, don't you think? If we were, I don't think you'd be half as handsome as you are."
Kawaki's eyebrows scrunched together and Jigen laughed before standing up.
"You're going to woo her. If I were a bit younger, I'd do it myself, but there's no doubt in my mind that you're more than capable." Jigen placed a gentle hand on Kawaki's head, "I'll arrange for another meeting with the Akatsuki and have her brought to it. You'll talk to her, make her feel safe around you, and make it easier for me to approach her with offers of a partnership. Maybe you'll even do it yourself."
"You want me to…flirt with her?" Kawaki suggested, piecing Jigen's words together.
"I think seduce would fit better in this case, but yes."
Kawaki pressed a hand to his head, "I…I don't know if I can—"
"You have to, Kawaki." Jigen cut him off, imploring the importance of this task, "Shabu is unlike any drug I've ever seen, it has the potential to take the world by storm, but I can't do that without her.
"Father—"
"I want that girl." Jigen's voice hardened, lowering his mouth to Kawaki's ear, "Do you understand me?"
Kawaki swallowed hard before nodding, "Yes, sir."
Jigen straightened up and ran a hand through Kawaki's hair, "Good. Now, go to bed; it's been a long day for all of us."
Kawaki stood up and bowed before leaving Jigen's office. As he walked down the hall, one of the doors to the other rooms opened and out stepped Delta and Amado. Kawaki only had two seconds to react before Delta's leg came swinging at him, and he narrowly dodged the kick with a step back before raising his arms.
"Stop, Delta." Amado ordered, grabbing her arm and pulling her back, "Deepa and Code already spoke to him."
"Well, they clearly didn't say enough!" Delta spat, looking Kawaki over, "He's not even limping! And yet I got a concussion from that stupid firefighter!"
She tried to roundhouse kick Kawaki again, but this time he was ready for it, and he caught her leg effortlessly before forcing it down, "That was your own fault."
Delta's right eye twitched, "This fucking—!"
"Kawaki, go on ahead." Amado nodded, producing a box of cigarettes from his pocket and taking one out, "Don't worry about her."
Kawaki nodded and continued down the hall, leaving the two to argue.
"Damn you, old man!" Delta cursed, "One of these days I'll—!"
Once Kawaki got to his room, he immediately shut the door behind him and collapsed onto his bed. But something didn't feel right.
Flipping over, he scanned the room for any abnormalities and blinked at the shadowy figure in the corner of his room. The figure ran at him before he could think, and he quickly raised lifted his hands to block any incoming attack. However, the attack in question never came, and instead Deepa's familiar laughter floated into Kawaki's ears.
Kawaki slowly lowered his hands once he was sure he wasn't in any immediate danger. Code was curled over, clutching his stomach and laughing so hard, his face was turning red. When he finally calmed down, he wiped under his eyes and turned to Kawaki.
"Oh, you should've seen the look on your face!" Deepa cleared his throat, his laughter threatening to resume, "You were so scared!"
Kawaki bit his lower lip to keep from saying anything, and instead decided to lie down as he had done before, turning his back on Deepa. When Kawaki felt the end of his bed depress, he knew Deepa wasn't finished.
"What did Jigen-sama talk to you about?" Deepa questioned, drumming his fingers on Kawaki's leg.
"Told me to shape up." Kawaki lied, "Gave me the same spiel about the family legacy."
Deepa hummed, "I don't believe you."
Kawaki felt a vein tighten in his forehead at Deepa's persistence, "Why would I lie?"
"Because you're an idiot." Deepa stated, jabbing his elbow into Kawaki's back, "And you lie for the littlest things."
Kawaki yelped but quickly bit his tongue to prevent Deepa from gaining any satisfaction from the act. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect.
"If you really don't wanna tell me, that's fine." Deepa told him, pressing his elbow down harder onto the pressure point, "But no matter what Jigen-sama says, you're worthless. Empty, *dry, not a single meaningful thought runs through your brain, you understand?"
"Gah!" Kawaki cried out, unable to keep his composure any longer, "Deepa, stop, please!"
"Say it." Deepa demanded, grinding his elbow on him, "Tell me what you are."
"Useless! Empty!" Kawaki repeated, gritting his teeth, "I said it!"
Deepa eased up off him before standing up, "As long as you understand."
Kawaki remained unmoving, burying his face into his pillow and keeping quiet. Deepa spared him a look for all of five seconds before stepping away and leaving his room.
Once he heard the door shut, Kawaki heaved a heavy sigh. His eyes stung, and when he recalled the few peaceful nights he'd spent under Naruto's roof, the tears came rolling down his cheeks and into the soft pillowcase.
He shut his eyes and did his best to not become a sobbing mess, and after a while the tears came to a halt, and he was left with a runny nose.
"I'm not empty." He murmured to himself as he tried to fall asleep, "I'm not empty."
*I got this incantation from Bleach, specifically the spell for Hado #90: Kurohitsugi, which means black coffin
*Kawaki's name means dry or parched
|Sakura|
A bright light flashed behind me, and I turned to find an open doorway in the distance, shimmering brilliantly. It seemed to be calling out to me, and I stood up to begin my walk to it before I realized Mom and Dad weren't following me.
"Aren't you guys coming?" I questioned, jerking my thumb behind me, "The door's right there, we can all go together."
Dad shook her head, "It's not here for us. It's here for you."
"What?" I tilted my head, returning to my seat at the picnic table, "Well, if that's the case, I'm not going."
Mom urged me on with a wave, "Your life hasn't ended yet."
I shook my head, refusing to move, "It has to. I shot myself in the head, remember? There's no coming back from that."
"And yet the door appeared!" Dad reasoned with a chuckle, "So don't knock it till you try it!"
Mom groaned at his terrible joke and Dad's chuckle evolved into full-fledged laughter. I couldn't help but crack a smile at their reactions, but soon enough Mom returned us to the discussion at hand.
"Sweetie, what your father is trying to say is that you can't be stubborn about this. The door appeared for you, which means it's time to go back." Mom nodded before getting up, "Come on, we'll walk you."
I folded my arms, "Ka-san, what part of 'I'm not going' don't you understand? I'm not going back there without you guys."
Dad stood up alongside her before coming around the table and lifting me to my feet, "Don't say that. You know there's nothing for us to return to."
"Not true!" I immediately countered, "I—"
"Our bodies are gone, cremated and destroyed." Dad continued, "If we came back now, we'd be ghosts, literally. But you still have your friends, you still have Sarada."
Sarada's face flashed in my mind at the mention of her name and my argumentative fire was extinguished.
"We just got back together as a family." I sniffled, tears welling up in my eyes, "I can't lose you two again."
Mom and Dad wrapped their arms around me, and I sobbed into their embrace. When I managed to collect myself, they stepped back, and Dad cleared his throat.
"Sakura, when you first appeared in this space with us, we…we wondered how you could've died so young, and what regret could've sent you here." Dad shakily explained, "After taking those pills and feeling my heart slow down, the last thing I thought was that me dying might make things worse for you than me living."
"And I thought that my death would leave you alone." Mom joined him in sharing her regret, giving my shoulder a light squeeze, "When you told us how you died, how you'd killed yourself, all I could think about was whether or not you would've done it if I'd still been alive."
I quickly shook my head before giving each of them a kiss on the cheek, "It's not you two's faults. Of course your deaths hurt me, but after Suna I—it was only a matter of time till I took myself out."
"…Arigato." Dad thanked me, hugging me again, "I wanted—I needed to hear that from you. We both did."
The two of them began to glow, and my mouth fell open in shock, "What's happening?"
"Remember how we explained this place?" Mom questioned, taking Dad's hand in hers and intertwining their fingers, "This is where those who died with regrets stay, until the reason for their regret is resolved. We both thought our deaths would ruin your life, and since you told us that wasn't the case, we can move on."
"N—" I cut myself off to keep from stopping their passing on, "Please, stay with me just a little longer."
"I'd stay with you for the rest of eternity if I could." Mom assured me, "But you need to go, Sakura. Your life isn't over yet, no matter how much you want it to be."
"I—"
"And don't kill yourself again." Dad interrupted me before I could dispute their claims, "You were sent to limbo for a reason; that means you weren't ready to die. Live, Sakura. Live without regrets. For us. For yourself."
They were fading, and I reached out to hold them, only for my hands to pointlessly phase through them.
"I love you." I hurriedly choked out as they disappeared from my sight, "Ka-san, Tou-san, I love you!"
"We love you too. We'll always love you." Their voices echoed for some time before eventually dying out.
With them gone, I turned back to the picnic table we'd all been seated at and ran a gentle hand over the surface. Dad had explained to me that the picnic table had appeared because it reminded him of his favorite memory, which was a family outing to Senju Park when I was thirteen. I recalled the picnic vividly, and agreed that it was also my favorite memory, as everything that day had been perfect.
Now, without Mom or Dad sitting at the table, it felt empty, and for a second a thought flashed in my mind of Sarada appearing at the table, but I swiftly shook it away. The last thing I would want is to see Sarada here.
Recognizing that my parents were right, I stepped away from the picnic table and turned towards the ajar door, still radiant after all this time. As I began my walk towards it, a ghostly figure crept up beside me, but something about it felt familiar, and I turned towards it calmly instead of jumping and screaming. When it morphed into me, I recognized that it was my other half and sighed.
"Where one goes the other follows, ne?"
She said nothing, and I gave her a look before continuing my trek to the door. It didn't seem that far when it'd first appeared, but after walking for some time, I felt as though I wasn't making any progress. I continued walking though, and only stopped when I realized she wasn't following me.
"What's wrong?" I questioned, turning to find her a considerable distance behind me, "Tired? Can you even get tired in this place?"
Just like before she kept quiet, and I rolled my eyes before walking back to her and taking her hand in mine.
"I don't know what your problem is," I told her as I linked our arms, "But you need to get over it and keep moving."
She allowed me to drag her along, and after what felt like forever, we finally reached the door. However, when I stepped forward to go through, she remained stuck in place. I yanked, tugged, and pulled but she wouldn't move. And her face remained unreadable, stuck in this neutral position that was beginning to piss me off.
Yet, when I opened my mouth to tell her off, she startled me by lifting her arms up and pulling me into a bear hug. Any attempt I made to break free from the hold resulted in her squeezing tighter, until she was basically encroaching on my ribs.
"Ora, what's gotten into you?" I called out of confusion, "Don't you—?"
I cut myself off when I felt the wetness of tears on my skin as she buried her face into the crook of my neck. After recognizing this sensation, I now noticed how she slightly shook with silent sobs.
"Hey…" I gently called for her attention, untucking her head from my shoulder and lifting her up, "Don't cry, we've got a second chance; hopefully we'll get it right this time."
She sucked in a sharp breath before smiling tearfully, "I'm sure you will."
Before I could ask her what she meant, she released me from her snug grip and shoved me as hard as she could.
"Sorry." She whispered as I tumbled through the doorway.
Everything went black around me, and for a moment I feared that I had been sent to hell. However, my uneasiness was swept away by the sound of a baby crying. I walked towards it, although to be honest, I couldn't tell where it was coming from. The noise bounced around in the dark space, but I somehow knew where to go.
Soon enough, a crib came into view but when I went to step closer and console the child, I found myself blocked off by an invisible wall. It was as I touched the air to try and feel what was blocking me that I watched a younger version of myself pick up the child. I realized then that the baby was an infant Sarada, and as the younger me hushed her before gently rocking her, I recalled with horror what memory this was.
"Shhh, it's okay. Mama's here." My younger self cooed as Sarada continued to wail, "Mama will always be here."
A knock came at the front door and the younger me shuffled to it out of sight. There was the sound of the door opening before a simple conversation ensued, and I shut my eyes as I stomped back into view.
"The answer is no." The younger me stated with a firm voice, "I'm not going to give my child up."
"Sakura, nobody's asking you to give up your child." Izumi's familiar voice floated into my ear, "We're just going to take Sarada-chan for a clan certified checkup and that's all. We'll bring her right back."
"Sarada is just fine, thank you." The younger me stubbornly refused, "The hospital cleared her last week."
"Yes, but that was the hospital." Izumi explain, "It's tradition for all Uchiha babies to be examined by a doctor of the clan. Sarada-chan's actually late; most babies get inspected one day after being born."
"Sarada is my child." My younger self stressed, "I won't have her getting poked and prodded for no reason."
Izumi sighed, "It's not for no reason. Sakura, you do realize that Sarada is an Uchiha, right? Of course she's your child, I'm not arguing against that. But her last name is Uchiha, and she'll be wearing the family crest until she gets married. Please, don't have ostracized before she gets the chance to connect with her family."
I opened my eyes and winced in preparation for the reply I had given her.
"What, like you guys ostracized me?" The younger me questioned bitterly, "Why are you really here, Izumi-san? Are you sure it's not against clan rules to have half-breeds on the premises?"
"She's not a—" Izumi stopped herself with a frown, "Sakura, no matter what anyone says about you two, you're family to me, okay?"
The young me scoffed, "Arigato, I'll keep that in mind. Now, I'd like for you to leave."
"Sakura, please." Izumi pled, "I know my family wasn't the kindest to you but believe me this is in Sarada-chan's best interest too. We heard that her birth wasn't easy so—"
"Enough." My younger self cut her off, "Izumi-san, you need to go."
Pursing her lips, Izumi nodded and turned away but not before telling me, "If you need anything, I'm here for you. I'm always here for you."
The younger me nodded before walking out of sight to escort her to the door, and when she returned, she lowered Sarada into the crib before turning to the picture on the drawer beside her. It held a photo of a smiling younger Sasuke who was holding me close to his side. I watched my younger self stare at the picture for a bit before tears collected in her eyes, and she sniffled before looking down at her hand and twisting her ring.
I remembered it as a nervous tic I had a habit of doing whenever I'd been unsure of something with my family, but I hadn't done it in so long.
"Sasuke-kun…" The younger me murmured, "Am I in the wrong?"
The memory faded but another one started up in its place, equally as painful and regrettable as the last. I went through too many memories to count, and although I never would've thought to recollect them on my own time, I was beginning to notice a theme, an overall message with each one.
As the most recent memory ended, I shut my eyes and sighed, "I get it. I know what my biggest regret is."
I felt a shift in the air around me and opened my eyes to find I was glowing.
"Yeah." I muttered to myself as I evaporated, "I definitely know what it is."