The Affair

by ThatCoolMom

Reeling from estranged spouses and uncooperative children, Naruto and Sakura drink beyond their capacity and make a lust-fueled mistake. Acting as a married couple for their mission, Sasuke and Karin find themselves blurring the line between real and fake affection. While these four deal with life, the world keeps moving, and dangerous things are being set in motion around them.

42. 35 n 5: Days of the Past

Chapter 35.5. Days of the Past

"Everybody's got a story."

|Toneri|

I handed Naruto an ice pack before I took a seat and he lifted it to his eye as he sank into the sofa across from me.

"So…" Naruto broke the silence after a while, "You gonna tell that story anytime soon?"

I nodded and lifted a hand to my chin, "Growing up, my father always put me first..."

No matter how important his tasks were or how necessary his presence was at an event, he made sure to let me know that if I called for him, he would be there. I was grateful for that, and I strived to give him the same support, promising him that whatever he asked of me, I would do.

"Don't worry about that, Toneri." Father smiled once I'd finished professing my loyalty, "Let your old man do the heavy lifting, okay? Just focus on being happy."

At five years old, the concept of hierarchies had yet to be formally introduced to me so as far as introductions went, I simply referred to myself as an Otsutsuki, but I would learn that there was a stark difference between being a member of the branch family and the main family.

It was the spring of 1988; the Hyūga were celebrating the birth of a second child to their main house so of course, all the prestigious families in the region were invited. I couldn't have cared less about being in the presence of so many boring adults, but when my father went over to greet Hyūga Hiashi, I perked up.

Not because of the stiff Hyūga clan head, mind you, but because of the pretty girl peeking out at me from behind his leg. I was enchanted by her, so much so that I couldn't bring myself to speak or even ask for her name. Our fathers caught us staring at each other, however, and that prompted Hiashi to tell the girl to introduce herself to us.

Her voice was adorable, but she spoke so softly that we couldn't hear her, and when we still didn't have the faintest idea what she was saying by her third attempt, Hiashi told us.

"Her name is Hinata." Hiashi shook his head at his daughter, "Gomen, the girl's too shy for her own good."

Father waved his hand, "Nonsense, that's part of her charm. Hinata, eh? What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl, ne Toneri?"

I nodded to him before returning my gaze to Hinata and Father laughed, "Well, Hiashi-kun, it looks like we'll be in-laws in the future!"

Hiashi chuckled respectfully but his lips swiftly curved into a frown, "Surely, you jest."

I tuned out the rest of their conversation and continued to gawk at the angelic Hinata. Truly, I had never seen a girl half as beautiful until that day, and thanks to Father's prior comment, I envisioned us getting married. Unfortunately, that dream was crushed by an exchange I had with a certain someone just as I left the bathroom.

"You're Otsutsuki Toneri, right?" I turned to my left and found myself looking at a fair-skinned boy with dark brown hair, but his signature lavender eyes clarified that he was a member of the Hyūga clan.

His furrowed eyebrows were slightly covered by the bandages wrapped around his forehead, but I could understand that he was upset with me for some reason.

I nodded wordlessly and stuck my hand out as a means of introduction, hoping to fix whatever I'd done, and he gave me a wary look before shaking my hand, "I'm Neji, from the Hyūga's branch family."

"I'm here to warn you about your behavior around Hinata-sama." Neji continued, "Branch members should mind themselves around those from the main family."

My confusion must've been evident on my face because he sighed before giving me a somewhat sympathetic look, "Just...don't talk to her, alright? Ask your father for more details, he should be able to explain."

And with that, he walked away. I followed him with my eyes but once he was out of sight, I became occupied with something else, and his words escaped my mind. It wasn't until later when we were heading home that I recalled his message and inquired the meaning of his words to my father.

Father exhaled heavily, "I was hoping I would have a little more time but..."

Father hid nothing from me, and with great detail defined our status in the Otsutsuki clan as well as what it meant in relation to a potential romance with Hinata.

"Gomen, Toneri." Father shakily apologized, "If only you'd been born into the main family, then you could have..."

I shook my head before hugging him, "None of that matters, as long as I have you, father."

Kami heard my words and decided to use them in a test against me, as Father would pass away four years later. I remained by the side of his hospital bed and held his hand as his heart slowed in his final moments. He spent his last breath making me promise to live for myself.

"I will." I assured him with a squeeze of his hand, feeling his grip weakening, "I swear."

Father let out a bereaved hum and shut his eyes.

His funeral was grand and packed with family members I'd never seen before. I stood at the front, staring at his coffin in a mix of disbelief, denial, and detachment, only to be called back to reality because of a series of gasps. When I turned to my right, I saw a tall pale man with greyish-blue spiky hair coming down the aisle and he bowed respectfully once he reached me.

Nodding my head in acknowledgement, he straightened up and laid a singular white chrysanthemum over the coffin before mixing in with the crowd, and I lost interest in him for the rest of the service.

Through the murmurings of those around me, I learned that he was Urashiki, the head of the Otsutsuki's main family. I wanted to ask the others what he could've come here for, but they scattered as an older man with pale blue hair tied back in a ponytail passed by.

Judging by the reactions of those who saw him coming, I guessed that he could only be Momoshiki. An estranged elder of the branch family, I'd heard that he had been forced out of the branch's compound due to his obnoxiousness, and as such had been living in a singular house somewhere in Konoha.

As the funeral wrapped up, I made it my mission to seek him out, and thankfully I caught him just as he was heading to his car.

"Momoshiki-dono!" I called out to him, "Please, wait!"

"Who dares—?" He cut himself off once he recognized me, but his annoyance remained etched on his face, "…What do you want from me, boy?"

"I—I want to know why Urashiki-sama was here." I hesitated under his hard glare, "We're branch members, he shouldn't care if one of us dies, right?"

Momoshiki clicked his tongue, "Tch, no he shouldn't, but if you don't know why then you should remain ignorant. Your father should've informed before he passed, and if he didn't, then I won't."

"Father is gone." I tightened my fists at my side, "He doesn't get to make decisions for me now."

At this, Momoshiki raised an eyebrow, "Is that so? Well, if you really want to know the truth, come with me."

I watched as he unlocked his car before getting into the driver's seat, and once he was settled in, he turned to me, "What'll it be, boy? I don't have all day."

"…I'm coming." I said aloud, motivating myself as I took the first step, "I need to know."

The ride to Momoshiki's house was silent, and I was surprised to find him living in a humble abode not too far from the Hyūga compound. We wasted little time in getting inside and once the door was shut and we were out of our shoes, Momoshiki filled me in.

It turned out that for many years, even before I'd been born, the branch family had been discussing the possibility of a switch in positions. With my father's prowess and intellect being miles beyond that of Urashiki's, their disgruntled whispers grew to murmurings, and soon enough they began to openly suggest that Father replace Urashiki as the main clan head.

"That was why he came, to show everyone that he's still in charge." Momoshiki spat, "With your father gone, he believes that the branch family's plan to replace him is ruined."

I sat and thought for a moment before speaking, "…It's not."

Momoshiki's eyes glinted with curiosity, "Hoh? How so?"

"Momoshiki-dono," I stood up from my seat and bowed my head, "Under your guidance, I want to become the head of the clan, like my father planned to be."

Momoshiki grinned wickedly, "This is no simple task, boy. I don't pull punches so if you bruise easily, now is the time to walk away."

"I'll be in your care, sir." I nodded.

There were two reasons I asked Momoshiki to train me for the position of clan head. For one, I agreed that my father would have been a much better leader than Urashiki, because as far as achievements went, the branch family had done much more than the main in recent times. But my second motivation stemmed from the childhood crush that I still held deep in my heart. It had become increasingly clear over the years that as long as I remained a member of the branch family, Hinata and I could never be together. I would only be worthy of her if I elevated my position and becoming clan head was the only way to do that.

Under Momoshiki's instruction, I spent the next eight years refining myself to be a suitable clan head. Increasing the scope of my knowledge as well as training my body took up most of my time, but on the off chance that I wasn't preoccupied with either of these, I was shadowing Hinata.

When I'd started out as Momoshiki's protégé, he'd demanded that there be no secrets between us, or rather, that I keep no secrets from him and as such, I told him about my love for Hinata. I'd done it reluctantly, partly because I believed he would see her as a distraction and tell me to forget about her, but instead the unthinkable occurred.

"Hinata, she's the heiress to the Hyūga clan, correct?" Momoshiki rubbed his chin, "You've got good taste, boy, I'll give you that. But how much do you know about her really?"

I made it clear that aside from our initial introduction at Himawari's birthday celebration, I had yet to speak to her again, much less learn anything about her.

"What?" Momoshiki exclaimed, shaking his head, "That won't do at all. Listen up, Toneri: whatever hours you have to yourself after I'm through with you, use them in following her. I expect to hear a new fact about her every day."

At first, there was no doubt in my mind that following her was strange to say the least, but after my first week of playing stalker, I concluded that there were worse things I could be doing, and in my time spent watching her, I learned that Hinata was surprisingly unconfident.

Despite being miles prettier than the girls around her, she had a timid air about her and was very hesitant to speak. A couple more hours would reveal that this was due to her father's sharp tongue towards her. It took a concerted effort for me to remain in the shadows when he would insult her intelligence or her abilities, and Momoshiki urged me to keep it that way.

"You can protect her when you're married but he'll never agree to that if you assault him." Momoshiki reminded me.

So, with a clenched jaw, I listened in on the verbal abuse she suffered. Every. Single. Day. Some of the things he said to her were so bad that she would lock herself in the bathroom and cry for hours. I always kept a hot cinnamon roll on hand for times like those, and I would creep into her room and lay the small box on her bed before carefully slipping out of the house.

From a nearby tree, I would watch her return to the room and smile as her tears came to a halt upon discovery of the sweet desert. The first few times, she looked around in confusion before inspecting the box for some kind of note or letter, and while I was tempted to leave my signature behind, I thought it best to remain anonymous.

Sure enough, Hinata became used to the treat waiting for her after a thorough admonishing, and with how quickly she would come back, I began to suspect that she was looking forward to finding my treats, which I had no problem with. It made me happy to see her go from being dejected to elated because of my simple gift.

Seasons changed, and as the years went by, I watched Hinata come into herself. Although still softspoken, she straightened up, no longer walking with a slouch, and was able to look people in the eye for longer than ten seconds.

She'd grown out her dark blue hair so that it reached her lower back, and it suited her perfectly. Her friends shared my sentiments, because during the one time I'd been able to shadow Hinata just as she was coming out of school, I listened in as they complimented her. She blushed before attempting to the change the subject, and I returned to Momoshiki's home with an idea.

He immediately shot it down.

"Absolutely not." He shook his head, "If you come before Hinata now, Hiashi will laugh you out of existence."

I pursed my lips, "But—"

"Enough." Momoshiki interrupted me, his voice hardening, "You want the girl that badly? Become the clan head – then you'll be able to do anything you want."

And so, I threw myself even deeper into my training, cutting down on the hours I spent following Hinata around. That was my mistake. Maybe if I had kept a more watchful eye, I would've noticed her gaze lingering on a certain blond-haired boy. Maybe I could've prevented that blond-haired boy from slowly staring back. There were so many things I could've done if only…

Anyway, two more years of rigid education and discipline went by before Momoshiki decided I was ready.

"I'll contact Isshiki and set up a meeting for tomorrow." Momoshiki told me as I finished my 200th sit-up, "He'll want to search your eyes for that Otsutsuki spark, and once he finds it in you, he'll take you in."

"How do you know I have it?" I questioned as I stretched.

Momoshiki smirked, "Because I trained you. If you've finished your daily exercise, then go – you're free for the day."

I nodded my head before heading off to shower and after freshening up, threw on some casual clothes. It occurred to me that I hadn't seen Hinata in a long time, and I figured I'd swing by the Hyūga compound in hopes of getting a glimpse of her. Instead, I caught more than a glimpse.

Turning the corner, I found Hinata out-front being embraced by a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy with a bright grin. She had yet to reciprocate the hug, cheeks burning from what I thought was discomfort, so I sprang into action.

My fist connected with his jaw just as he turned to me, and I grabbed Hinata from his arms as he stumbled back. Setting her aside, I tightened my right my hand into a fist and prepared to hit him again but was prevent by Hinata who tugged on my arm.

"Stop!" She yelled, sparing the boy a glance before facing me head on, "What are you doing?"

"I'm protecting you from this…pervert?" I gave her a confused look as I lowered my fist.

"Who's the pervert, you bastard?!" The boy roared, running at me with full force.

I quickly jerked my arm free before sidestepping him and elbowing him in his back as his momentum carried him past me. He crumpled to the floor and Hinata knelt to her knees to tend to him. Sensing that they were somewhat close, I apologized.

"I thought you were a degenerate attacking her." I explained as Hinata rubbed his back, prompting him to groan, "Gomen. Your name?"

"Uzumaki Naruto, ya know." He grumbled as he sat up, "Who the hell are you?"

I held a hand to my chest as I introduced myself, "My name is Otsutsuki Toneri. And I'm here for Hinata."

She looked at me thoughtfully, tilting her head as she tried to recall where she knew me from, and I bit back a smile as her eyes widened in recognition, "Toneri? The same Toneri from all those years ago? Is that really you?"

"You know this guy, Hinata?" Naruto looked up at her in shock.

Hinata nodded her head before giving me a light smile, "It's been so long…how have you been?"

"I've been well." I answered before reaching for her hand, "You've grown more beautiful since I last saw you."

Just as our fingertips touched, Naruto stood up and stepped in front of Hinata before forcefully pushing my hand down. It was then that I truly took notice of him, as well as Hinata's attitude towards him. The way their bodies were subconsciously in sync with each other, the way Hinata lightly clutched the back of his shirt – these two couldn't have been just friends.

"You…what's your relationship with Hinata?" I questioned, hoping my intuition wasn't correct.

"I'm her boyfriend." Naruto stated, confirming my hunch, "Got a problem with that?"

I clutched my head in frustration and bit back a moan, "Hinata…how far have you gone with him?"

"W-What?" Hinata stuttered, caught off-guard by the question.

"That's none of your business." Naruto snapped, stepping forward threateningly.

I paid him no mind and continued to talk to Hinata, "If you've preserved your chastity then I'm willing to overlook this. Otherwise—"

Naruto cut me off with a punch, or at least, an attempted punch. I grabbed his fist just before it could connect with my face and looked at him.

"Who's the pervert now?" Naruto snarled, tightening his other fist, "You have five seconds to walk away before you end up on the floor, ya know."

Undaunted by his threat, I gave him my full attention, "What did you say your last name was again?"

"Uzumaki." He answered before beginning his countdown, "Five..."

The clan sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn't recall their head or any notable members.

"So, are you a member of the main family or the branch family?" I questioned, wanting to know what edge he had over me to make Hinata look his way.

Naruto furrowed his eyebrows, "What are you talking about?"

His response confused me, and I released his fist, "You don't know what your status is in your clan?"

"Clan?" Naruto repeated, "What clan? All I have is a cousin."

Stunned by the implications of his answer, I turned to Hinata, "You're dating a commoner?"

"I—"

"You're the princess of the Hyūga, you're supposed to be untouchable!" I continued, knocking Naruto aside and seized her shoulders, "Why would you lower yourself by choosing this—this peasant?!"

Hinata grabbed my wrists and tried to lift my hands off her, "Just because Naruto-kun's not from a big clan doesn't make him any less than you or me. If anything, I…I love him more because of that."

"You…love him?" My heart shattered but thanks to Momoshiki's training, I quickly converted my heartbreak into rage and shoved Hinata to the ground, "Then what was the point of me trying to become the clan head? What have I been doing this whole time?"

I was tackled to the ground by a roaring Naruto who twisted my arm behind my back and tried to get me under control, "I don't understand half the stuff you just said but I do know this: Hinata is in control of her life! She can choose how she wants to live, for her own sake, ya know!"

His words resonated with me, and I went still as I recalled the promise I'd made to my father on his death bed. Naruto must have sensed the change in me because he got up before helping me to my feet.

Disillusioned and confused, I gave the two of them one last look before returning home to Momoshiki. He wasn't there when I arrived, which turned out to be better for me because I immediately went to my room once inside and shut my eyes.

Sleep didn't help to quell the unrest in my heart, but I forced those troublesome thoughts down and tried to prepare for my meeting with Isshiki tomorrow. Sadly, my internal crisis carried over to the next day, and as I shook Isshiki's hand, I could tell that he wasn't impressed.

I turned away, having accepted the fact that I'd not only lost Hinata, but also failed in my bid to become clan head. To my surprise, Isshiki placed a hand on my shoulder and ordered me to walk with him.

"Something's troubling you." He stated matter-of-factly, "What is it?"

Figuring that things couldn't get much worse, I told Isshiki of yesterday's events and lamented over my inability to achieve my life's goal. When I was finished speaking, Isshiki hummed.

"So your sole motivation for becoming clan head was to get the Hyūga heiress." He nodded understandingly, "Let's say you became clan head and had her by your side; is that the end of your ambition?"

"…I would fulfill my duties as head." I said after some thought, "We'd have children, and I'd want to create a long-lasting legacy for them, so I'd be motivated to do well."

Isshiki chuckled, "Hmph. At least you have some form of determination."

"Sir?" I called questioningly as he continued to walk.

Isshiki sighed, "My son Urashiki is the current head of the clan, but I'm no fool; I know he's not fit to lead. I have another candidate but he's not…I would prefer the clan to be led by someone of its blood, not an outsider."

I nodded and he continued, "Toneri, I will adopt you into the main family, but you must swear to me that when the time comes, you will assume the mantle as clan head."

"Of course." I quickly complied, seeing nothing wrong with the agreement.

Satisfied, Isshiki crossed his arms, "Now, about that Hyūga woman; there are two ways you can make her yours…"

Isshiki's first option was deplorable, and despite him believing it was the fastest and easiest solution, I was horrified that he could even consider it. Not wanting to hear anymore, I asked for him to tell me the second choice.

"I've known Hiashi since he was a child; if I tell him that I have a suitor for Hinata, I'm sure he'll agree for you two to meet."

Confused, I titled my head, "But Hinata and Naruto are—"

"The boy's a peasant." Isshiki waved his hand, "I'm sure Hiashi doesn't even know of the two's relationship, because if he did there's no way he would let Hinata out of his sight. But when I present you to him? Young, intelligent, the future head of the Otsutsuki main clan? He'll accept you without a second thought."

I went with the second option.

It went about as well as you'd expect, what with Hinata being forced to go on dates and spend a considerable amount of her time with me. Watching her recede into herself with every outing hurt me, and it became apparent that under circumstances like these, I would not be marrying the woman I loved but a former shell of herself.

A year went by before I decided to set her free and end things, after which I dedicated myself to the clan and prepared for the day when I would assume my position as leader. One fateful night however, everything changed.

Just before I went to bed, I stopped by Isshiki's room hoping to discuss something with him, but the scene I came upon made it hard to remember what I had been thinking of. Jigen was holding a pillow against Isshiki's face and smothering him to death, and at the sound of the door creaking open he glanced over his shoulder and made eye contact with me. I was frozen in place and could only watch as Isshiki weakly clawed at Jigen's wrist in an attempt to break free.

Snapping out of my stupor, I stepped forward to intervene when Jigen's cold voice cut through the air.

"Stay where you are." He warned, pressing the pillow down even harder, "I'll deal with you in a minute."

That triggered my fight or flight but before I could decide on whether to run or act, Isshiki went still. Jigen held the pillow down for a few more seconds before straightening up and checking to make sure Isshiki was dead. Once he was sure, he turned to me, and I chose a third option: surrender.

"I won't tell anyone." I whispered, immediately sinking to my knees, "I'll say he died in his sleep or whatever you want so please…!"

Jigen placed a hand on my head and forced me to look up, "…Do you mean that?"

"I swear." I quickly affirmed, not wanting him to doubt my words.

"Rise." Jigen ordered, and I scrambled to obey, "If you're truly a man of your word then this is what you're going to say…"

The next morning Isshiki and Urashiki were both found dead in their beds, and while at first it seemed to be a coincidental tragedy, once I told the elders that Isshiki had chosen Jigen to take over instead of me, they became suspicious.

"Boy, what is going on?" Momoshiki pulled me aside once the elders had concluded their meeting, "There's no way Isshiki wanted Jigen to be the next head. Tell me the truth."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jigen watching us intently from down the hall and I yanked my arm free, "That is the truth, and it's not my problem if you can't accept it."

Later that day, Jigen would enter to my room with a twisted smile on his face.

"Arigato, Toneri." He patted me on the back, "The ceremony for clan head will be conducted as soon as tomorrow, thanks to you. How can I return the favor?"

I shook my head, "As long as you're happy, I'm fine."

"Oh, come now." He chuckled, "Don't be like that. I hear you have feelings for the Hyūga heiress, but she recently got engaged to some bumpkin. Would you like me to…dispose of him?"

"That really isn't necessary." I passed on the offer, not wanting him to get any ideas, "She's found someone she's willing to spend the rest of her life with…all that's left is for me to do the same."

Jigen stared at me for a moment before shrugging, "Suit yourself. But I am a man who likes to settle the score so anytime you need something from me, let me know and I'll be happy to oblige."

I nodded my head and with that, he left my room.

I would move out of the Otsutsuki main compound some months later, unable to get a good night's rest with the threat of death looming so close by. I then took up residence in a small town out west known as Hoshigakure and earned my keep as a coal miner. While there, I heard of Momoshiki's death, and mourned privately but didn't return for his funeral.

Five uneventful years went by until one day I came home from work and found a fancy black limousine waiting outside my house. It was then that I knew my peace had come to an abrupt end.

I didn't bother getting changed, and simply got into the back of the vehicle only to find Jigen and two small boys.

"Jigen-ojisama?" I called, slightly puzzled by the children's presence, "These are…?"

"Code and Kawaki, my sons." Jigen introduced the red-headed and the black-haired boy respectively, "Aren't they cute?"

I nodded respectfully, "They are. But is that why you came here?"

"I wish." Jigen chuckled before tapping the partition and wordlessly telling the driver to get going, "I need your help, Toneri. You see, some of my recent ventures have paid off quite handsomely, and I set up a business to help filter the money, but I need someone at the helm of that business to make things…legitimate."

"I'll do it." I offered before he could get a chance to ask me, "Do I need to know anything in particular?"

Jigen waved his hand, "No, no, you'll honestly just be there for looks, but I'm glad you said yes because I premade your business card."

As he finished speaking, he handed me a sample and I turned it over to see: Otsutsuki Industries, CEO Toneri Otsutsuki 120-XXXXXX.

"You'll be paid handsomely for this." Jigen assured me, waving his hand at my attire, "No need to work in coal mines to make ends meet."

I kept quiet at the subtle diss to what I felt was meaningful labor and simply nodded my head in acceptance, "Glad I could help."

True to his word, I never learned how Jigen made his money, and I only had to show my face for events that were truly important. As the years went by, Jigen's power and resources grew alongside his children.

Code took after him in everything, personality, tone, body language…he was a viper through and through. But Kawaki reminded me of myself, indecisive, emotional, and easily frustrated. Perhaps that was why I kept him at a distance, so that I wouldn't be tempted to step in whenever Jigen happened to…discipline himwhile I was nearby.

My distaste for his punishment must have been clear on my face at one point, because afterward Jigen called me into his office and poured me a drink.

"You must think I'm a monster." He mused as he sipped from his glass, "But I'm not beating Kawaki to satisfy some twisted urge; I want to refine him. He has potential, and if he can just get it together, I know he'll become a fine clan head someday."

This surprised me, "You want him to lead? Why not Code?"

"Code is exactly like me, but I don't need a clone." Jigen chuckled, "No, Kawaki's clearly the better choice."

"What if Kawaki grows up and doesn't want to become clan head?" I posed the hypothetical, wanting to hear his response, "What will you do then?"

Jigen shook his head, "Impossible, he'll never say that."

"Why?" I questioned, curious as to where his belief was coming from.

"Because he wants to please me." Jigen smirked, emptying his glass, "When I found Kawaki, his drunkard father was beating him with an empty wine bottle for not getting him more alcohol. The boy wants to feel useful, wants to feel whole. A praise from me every now and then does the trick."

"So you don't love him." I concluded, disappointment seeping into my voice.

Jigen clapped his hands, "I care for him like a child cares for their favorite toy. I want him to be in tiptop shape, ready to play at a moment's notice, and I'll hurt anyone who hurts him or breaks him beyond repair, but I can't say I love him as person. I can't say I've ever felt that way for anyone, really."

I nodded, unsurprised by this admittance, "Just…ease up on him with the beatings. He might look okay on the outside, but it's the inside you have to consider. His thoughts, his mentality – he might surprise you one day."

"I'll keep that in mind." Jigen promised me before pouring himself another glass.

Standing up, I excused myself from his office and went home.

Having moved back into the Otsutsuki compound for business' sake, it didn't take long for me to get there from the office. Once I was in my room, I collapsed onto my bed and sighed. So long as Jigen lived, Kawaki was never going to be free.

I sighed as I opened my eyes to regard Naruto, "And there you have it. I don't know how you managed to meet Kawaki but you're better off forgetting about him."

"…Did you tell Jigen where he was?" Naruto asked in a low voice.

I gave him a look, "What are you—?"

"Yes. Or no." Naruto reiterated through grit teeth, and I scoffed as I got up.

"I did." I admitted, "But it was only a matter of time till Jigen found him, and it's thanks to my call that Jigen attempted to be civil with you rather than kill you as soon you opened the door."

He stood up with me and grabbed my collar, "You've sent that boy back to his worst nightmare, ya know."

"I—"

"He would always flinch when I woke him up from a deep sleep." He interrupted, his eyes reflecting the empathy he felt for Kawaki, "And when I'd first met him, he wouldn't even let me touch him, ya know. Do you know what someone has to go through to be so suspicious of life?"

I looked away, not wanting to see the silent accusations coming from his gaze.

"You're a coward." Naruto spat angrily as he let me go, "You'd send a boy to hell if it meant you'd be safe from demons."

Unable to take his abuse, I gave him my own defense, "If me using my head to make decisions instead of my heart upsets you, then boo-hoo! Jigen isn't some pushover that you can punch in the face a couple times and get him to compromise. If I hadn't warned him about your personality, you'd probably be dead right now."

Naruto clicked his tongue.

"Hontōni, I'm still shocked how someone as headfirst as you managed to get Hinata in the first place." I grumbled.

That struck a nerve, because not a second after the words left my mouth did I find myself being shoved into the couch.

"What did you say?" Naruto asked, a threatening undertone evident in his voice.

"You heard me." I nodded, unwilling to back down, "You're telling me you'd put a stranger, a boy you've only known for five days over yourself and your well-being like that's some sort of accomplishment. What if you'd been killed? How would your children feel? How would Hinata have felt?"

The fire in Naruto's eyes went out as quickly as it had been lit, and I could tell that he was recognizing the truth behind my words.

"You're too busy playing knight to even consider the effects your choices have on the people around you." I continued, "Sure, I'm a coward, but cowards go home to their families; heroes don't."

Naruto stepped away from me and returned to his seat before lifting a hand to his face and covering his eyes.

I cracked my neck as I stood up, "Would you like something to drink?"

"…You got any Awamori?" He questioned after a beat.

I nodded, "Should I bring a glass or the whole bottle?"

"The whole thing, please." Naruto pleaded.

With another nod, I left to the kitchen.

---

|Naruto|

I never knew my parents.

I mean, I knew of them, of their contributions to society and how loved they were by their community, but growing up none of that mattered to me, ya know. Rather than hear of how ferocious my mother was or how reliable my father could be, I wanted to bear witness to these attributes. Instead of finding pictures and getting comments about how I had my mother's face but my father's hair, I wanted to see them in the flesh.

Because of thoughts like this, I wouldn't be surprised if people called me an angry kid back then, because it was only later that I would come to realize how misplaced my anger was. After all, it wasn't as if they wanted to die in a fire and leave their only son behind. According to Grandpa Sarutobi, they could've survived had they not gone back, but of course they never would've abandoned me.

It was weird; even though I carried a lot of rage due to having been left alone, I can't say that their deaths really affected my upbringing. Well, that would be a lie, considering how Sasuke's mom practically adopted me. If she hadn't taken me in, I would've been an absolute monster by the time Pervy Sage came to find me, ya know.

Okay, obviously if my parents hadn't died, I never would've been raised with Sasuke and I probably wouldn't have been as much of a troublemaker as I was. Actually, I think I still would've done half the dumb shit I did, but semantics.

Anyways, uh, where was I? Oh yeah, my upbringing.

So, yeah, Sasuke's mom Mikoto saw me in the nursery at the hospital and demanded I be released into her custody. Thinking about it now, she definitely had no right to do that but with a husband that was the Chief of Police at the time, it wouldn't surprise me to find out that she had pulled some strings.

At the end of that day, Mikoto went home with not one, but two infant boys. Itachi told me that while our dads may not have always seen eye to eye, Fugaku had a lot of respect for my dad, ya know. I'm guessing that even if Fugaku might've entertained the idea of returning me to the hospital, once he saw the infant me with my dad's physical traits, he changed his mind.

Hontōni, whether he wanted me there or not, I never could tell. While Mikoto was an active parent towards me, oftentimes going above and beyond her role as caretaker to fulfill my motherly needs, Fugaku barely ever spoke a word to me. Except for a low, "are you okay?" after I was hospitalized for falling off the school rooftop, I don't recall ever actually having a somewhat substantial conversation with him.

This didn't bother me one bit though, and maybe it's because of his practical neglect towards me that I was able to withstand and shrug off the evil eyes tossed my way by some of the Uchiha, ya know. Growing up in their compound, I understood just how prideful and partisan some of their members could be, but because Fugaku remained indifferent to me, I couldn't really cry over the lack of friendliness from anyone else, ya know.

It's because of this that Sasuke and I were…are brothers. Whether we would've gotten along had my parents been alive, I don't know. The two of us were and still are completely different, but if there was one thing we had in common, it was our desire to be acknowledged.

Like I said before, I understood that I wasn't an Uchiha from a young age, so it didn't bother me that I wasn't being treated like one. While still somewhat angry about their deaths, I was proud of my parents, and I didn't aspire to be made an honorary Uchiha or forego their legacy.

What I really wanted was to be recognized by the city, because while I had such incredible parents and everyone I spoke to seemed to have an amazing story regarding them, when they looked at me that was it, they saw them not me. I wasn't just "Minato and Kushina's son," my name was Uzumaki Naruto, and I wanted to make sure that they would never forget it.

Sasuke's motivations were similar but his goal at the time was to step out from his brother's shadow, not his parents. As the second son of the main family, he was constantly being compared to his older brother Itachi, so much so that even I noticed.

It was one winter night in eighth grade that Sasuke confessed how inferior he felt in Itachi's presence, and the two of us shed tears of frustration at having our individuality overlooked, ya know. The next morning the two of us teased each other about our dried tear streaks before sharing a smile. This and a similar event in junior year, as well as many other sensitive moments would solidify our bond, but as much as we tried to keep each other in the loop, I knew that I couldn't tell Sasuke everything.

For instance, I'd had a crush on a certain pink-haired girl for as long as I could remember, but I was no dunce; in the many hours I spent watching her, her attention mostly being on Sasuke didn't escape me. And, although Sasuke refused to admit it, I think he was drawn to her too.

But it was his continual denial of any feelings for Sakura that encouraged me to pursue her, or at least not squash the affections I had for her, ya know. It's funny, if I was dared to, I could jump into the Naka River no problem but when it came to telling Sakura how I felt, I always chickened out.

Eventually though, my actions around her outshined any words I could've come up with, and my feelings became a subtle joke among my friend group.

"There goes your girlfriend." Kiba would snicker, elbowing me in the side as Sakura passed.

It was only when she was a reasonable distance away that I would erupt on Kiba, lecturing him about how dangerous jokes like that were before wondering out loud if she'd heard him.

"Just tell her how you feel." Shikamaru sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "Aren't you tired of walking on eggshells around her?"

"It's not that simple." I argued, watching as Sakura went over to Sasuke and exchanged some words with him.

"It is." Shikamaru insisted as Sasuke checked his watch before nodding and confirming something to Sakura that made her smile.

With a sigh, I turned back to the guys and shut my locker, "It's not."

Middle school was a trying time for me, what with puberty and all, but it wasn't until I learned of masturbation and self-pleasure that I truly began to turn to the dark side. I became aware of girls in ways I'd never thought of before, but each time I decided to rub one out, there was only one pink haired girl that came to mind.

I started off normal enough, fantasizing about kissing Sakura, holding her, touching her…things were vanilla for about three years. And then my sixteenth birthday came.

My godfather Jiraiya had been in town and wanted to take me out to celebrate. We walked around Senju Park and had a deep conversation about life that put some of my insecurities into perspective before heading to Ichiraku's for a bowl of ramen. Jiraiya ended up drinking way more than he could handle at the ramen stall, forcing me to carry him home to his apartment.

It didn't feel right to leave him so defenseless, so after calling Mikoto and telling her the situation, I washed up and prepared to sleep over. The only problem was that it wasn't exactly late at night, and I'd just ate a piping hot bowl of ramen, meaning I'd be awake for at least another hour. With nothing to do and no one to keep me occupied, I began to look around.

It was while sniffing around Pervy Sage's makeshift study that I stumbled upon one of his porn mags, and after getting over my initial apprehension, I flipped it open. With each page, I could feel myself slowly starting to get aroused, but it was around page thirteen that I stumbled upon a sight that would stick with me forever.

My virgin eyes feasted on the two-page spread of a woman clad in skintight leather, gagged and bound to a bed. Her rosy cheeks indicated she was feeling somewhat warm from her predicament, and even though her face wasn't completely visible, I was captivated. My length went from twitching to rock hard in a matter of seconds, and if that wasn't bad enough, my overactive brain immediately conjured up an image of Sakura in the same position.

I remember tossing the magazine to the side, shaking my head at the "strange" imagery before going to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Eventually, I returned to the study and picked up the mag before flipping back to that page. I'd managed to fight off the urge to masturbate during my down time, but my mind couldn't get the picture out of my head.

Needing to know what was going on, I read the caption at the bottom: Dark haired beauty waiting for her master in classic BDSM fashion.

"BDSM..." I murmured to myself before shutting the magazine and returning it to the spot I'd found it in, "So that's what this is..."

I went to bed repeating the word over and over in my mind so I wouldn't forget, and when I went home the next day, I asked Sasuke about it.

"BDSM?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow, "That's for perverts who like being tied up and spit on."

"S-Spit on?" I stammered, shaken by the unhygienic possibility.

Sasuke nodded his head, "Spit on, whipped, choked...they do all kinds of weird shit. Don't tell me you're into that too?"

I quickly shook my head, "What? Of course not! How weird do you think I am?"

The two of us laughed together but if I'm being honest, Sasuke's words are part of the reason why it took me so long to feel comfortable with my sexuality. Even Pervy Sage was no help, and while he had those magazines in his possession, he didn't mince his distaste for the kink.

"I just don't see how that can be arousing." Pervy Sage shook his head disapprovingly.

Two years would go by with me secretly delving deeper into the abnormal attraction, and I would sometimes go to great lengths to get a particular porno if it was available. However, I didn't have to be so cautious about it once I turned eighteen, as I decided to move into the small flat Pervy Sage had left behind.

Although I hadn't so much as kissed a girl, talk less of stepping into the bedroom, I felt like a BDSM master with all the knowledge I'd acquired.

It was the night before graduation that I would get the opportunity to test my skills. After eating to our fill at Yakiniku Q's, Kiba had passed each of the guys a card for a "relaxing" service. Sasuke took one look at the card and sighed before flicking it into the fire, and that prompted me to look it over.

"Happy Hostel's young men night?" I read aloud, "Whiskey, women, and other forms of entertainment - free. I don't get it, what's this for?"

Kiba smirked mischievously while Choji, Lee, and Shikamaru scratched their rapidly reddening faces.

"It's a chance to step into the adult world." Shino offered, pushing his glasses up on his face.

If anything, that only confused me further, but before I could ask any more questions, Shikamaru clapped his hands and stood up.

"It was fun guys but it's getting late." He cleared his throat as he pulled on his sweater, "I'll see you all on stage tomorrow."

We cheered in agreement before following his lead and getting up to leave. I bumped fists with Sasuke and we went off in opposite directions to our respective homes. As I walked, I turned the card over and read the address.

"56 Hatake Avenue..." I looked up at the street sign only to realize that it wasn't too far from here, "I guess a little peek couldn't hurt, ya know."

After about a twenty-minute walk, I found myself standing in front of a familiar hotel, and I wondered if I was in the wrong place.

"Are you lost?" A female voice called from above and I looked up to find a young girl with reddish-brown hair smoking a cigarette.

I scratched the back of my neck, "Uh, kinda? I'm looking for a place called Happy Hostel."

"Really?" The girl's expression went from bored to excited, "Then you're at the right spot! Hold on, I'll be down in a sec."

True to her word, once she disappeared from the window, I only waited a moment before she appeared downstairs, and she held the door open before ushering me inside.

"Gomen," She chuckled, "Konoha's kind of a prudish town so we didn't expect to get any customers for this night. If you don't mind waiting a bit, I can tell the girls to get dolled up so you can take your pick, or I can give you their pictures."

It was then that that I realized what kind of establishment I had entered, and as my cheeks burned, I stammered in response.

"J-Just the pictures will do." I nodded before wiping my face, and she smiled.

"Okay, give me one moment and I'll be right back." She promised before pulling open a side door and stepping into what I assumed was a stairwell.

Once she was gone, I began to tap my foot and consider my next course of action. I mean, really, what was I doing in such a place? Now that the guys' reactions made sense and Shino's words turned out to be clearer than ever, I figured I would just leave before she came back. However, just as I turned to the entrance, the doors slammed shut as a young tan woman with waist-length white hair and narrow gray eyes walked into the building.

Her body language made it obvious that she was annoyed, and I stepped to the side in hopes that I wouldn't be a bother, but instead I set her off.

"And just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, I come back to find a fucking virgin on the first floor!" She smacked her forehead and sighed, "Just go home, kid. I don't have the energy to call the police."

My eyebrows furrowed at her assumption of my age, and I quickly corrected her, "Whaddya mean 'kid?' I'm 18, ya know."

"If you're 18, I'm 37." She snorted before waving her hand, "I can tell just by looking at you that you'd pass out from touching a girl. Now, go on, shoo."

Before I could respond, the red head returned with a photo album in hand.

"Sorry I took so long." She smiled apologetically before holding the book out to me, "One of the girl's had it."

"No need." I shook my head before pointing to the hostile girl before me, "I want her."

The silence that followed immediately killed the anger-born confidence I had, as I realized that her role in the business might not have been one relating to the natural physicality between man and woman.

"I-I mean, only if that's her—if she's offering." I sputtered, hoping I hadn't dug myself into a hole.

The red head shrugged before turning to the girl, "Are you up for it, Ryūzetsu?"

"Did you even check his age?" Ryūzetsu protested, side-eyeing me as the red head grinned, "There's no way in hell I'm gonna hook up with a middle schooler."

Feeling a vein in my forehead tighten, I reached into my pocket for my wallet and lifted my school ID. The red head looked it over before nodding in approval, and I turned to Ryūzetsu now that my age had been verified.

She bit her lower lip which caused me to feel a twinge of guilt, and I gave her an out for my conscience's sake, "Look, you don't have to if you don't want to."

"Tch, let's just get this over with." She clicked her tongue before grabbing my hand and glaring at the red head, "An hour should be enough, ne Amaru?"

Amaru nodded and blew us a kiss as we stepped into the elevator, "Play nice, you two!"

Once the elevator doors shut and the mechanical box whirred to life, Ryūzetsu dropped my hand and crossed her arms, and I became aware of what I had just gotten myself into. When the doors slid open, I let her lead the way, but with each step my stomach lurched and by the time we'd arrived at the room, I felt like I could throw up any moment.

Ryūzetsu didn't look back as she unlocked the door, and I took the opportunity to dart into the bathroom and try to steady myself. I ended up not vomiting but that queasy feeling in my gut was still present when I stepped back into the room.

"Why did you choose me?" Ryūzetsu questioned as she tied her hair back into a ponytail, "Because I made fun of your age down there? So, what? You thought you'd get payback by bending me over?"

She'd hit the hammer on the head, but her manner of explaining it made me see just how terrible such a thought process was, so I attempted to say otherwise, "No, I—"

"Whatever, it's not like I really care." She sighed as she pressed a button on the clock, "You have an hour, timer starts now."

Ryūzetsu concluded her words by taking a seat on the bed, and after a silent deep breath, I approached her. With a shaky hand, I cupped her chin and slid my thumb across her lips as I cleared my throat.

"You're so aggressive and beautiful…" I murmured as I tugged her lower lip down and forced her mouth open, "Just like someone I know."

"You shouldn't start a hookup by comparing your partner to someone else." Ryūzetsu scoffed as she adjusted her hands on the bed, "It'll make them feel like a placeholder."

I shook my head as I slid my thumb into her mouth and pressed down on her tongue, "I'm not trying to compare you to her. You might be similar, but you're not the same, ya know. And that's a good thing."

Unable to answer with my finger in her mouth, she resorted to using her eyes to communicate, and I couldn't help but chuckle as she raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think an hour's gonna be enough." I admitted as I lowered her into the bed, "But we'll have to see."

That night was my first time stepping into the role of a dom, and although I didn't have handcuffs or a whip or lube or any of that fancy stuff I'd seen or read about, I think I did a pretty good job. Ryūzetsu's attitude softened up after I first made her cum, and everything else was smooth sailing from there.

We spent the rest of our time trying out some of the things I'd fantasized about but in the end, I never did sleep with her. I couldn't. Despite how easy it was for me to touch, lick, and suck her most private parts, I couldn't bring myself to go any further.

"Is it because of that girl?" Ryūzetsu questioned as I pulled up my pants, the timer having gone off, "The one you told me I reminded you of; are you saving yourself for her?"

I laughed at the thought, "No, that's not why. She's with someone else anyway so I'd be saving myself for a long time if that were the case, ya know."

"…Gomennasai." The sincerity in her voice caused me to turn around and I found her holding her arms out, silently calling for me to give her a hug, "I know how it feels to watch the person you love, love someone else."

I leaned into her hug and pressed my head against her shoulder, and before I knew it, the tears were falling. Ryūzetsu hushed me as she rubbed my back in slow, sympathetic circles, and I sniffled in her embrace. It took some time for me to collect myself but when I had, I pulled back.

"Arigato, Ryūzetsu." I thanked her as I wiped under my eyes, "Hontōni, arigato."

She helped me wear the rest of my clothes in silence, and once I was all dressed, she planted a soft kiss on my lips before stepping away.

"…We'll be gone by tomorrow." She said in a low voice, "Probably won't be back for a while, if ever."

"Hopefully the next time you step foot in Konoha everyone will know my name." I chuckled, "Then it won't be hard to find me."

Ryūzetsu smirked, "I'm not sure your wife would appreciate you getting visited by a girl from your past. Especially not one with a background like mine."

"Uh, right." I scratched my head and thought for a second, "Okay, if we ever run into each other again and I'm not married, I'll take you out on a date."

"A promise is a promise." She warned me as she sank back into the bed, "I'll see you around, Naruto."

Graduation came and went, and I did my best to smile as Sasuke and Sakura linked hands once the ceremony had ended. Although I slapped a playful hand on Sasuke's back and commended him for "getting the girl," I couldn't deny the fact that I was devastated.

With high school over, the summer was supposed to be a period of freedom for us, and Sasuke decided to spend it traveling the country with Sakura. I actually drove the two to the airport when it was time for them to leave, and after waving until they were out of sight, I slumped down in the car and drove home.

Shikamaru and Choji had left to visit their girlfriends out of town, Lee had roped Kiba and Shino into a mountain excursion…almost everybody had plans for break, and none of them included me.

I spent the first week just lazing about at home, and then one early Saturday morning, my doorbell rang. Tired and slightly pissed at having been woken up, I stomped over to the door and answered it.

"Who the hell—?" I cut myself off and blinked to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, "Hinata?"

"O-Ohaiyo, Naruto-kun." She stuttered, twiddling her fingers, "Um, would you mind accompanying me to an event today?"

The event turned out to be a kendo competition Hanabi was taking part it, and on the way there, Hinata explained that their father had canceled last minute, leaving her with an extra ticket for entry.

"And you decided to give it to me?" I asked in surprise as we handed the tickets over at the entrance and continued inside.

Hinata's face turned red in an instant and she looked away, "Gomen, did you have something planned for today? I guess I should have asked before—"

"No, no, no." I waved my hands and interrupted her apology, "My schedule's completely empty, ya know. It's just that, well, everyone's doing their own thing this break so I didn't expect anyone to be thinking of me."

"…I'm always thinking of you." She softly admitted, glancing at me, and things went quiet between us.

I had caught Hinata staring at me once or twice, but I couldn't say that I'd ever thought of her romantically. I'd known her to have always been kind, softspoken, and never really one to get into trouble, so what could this perfect girl possibly have seen in me?

Clearing my throat, I pointed towards the front, "Maybe we can find some seats close by so that Hanabi can see us."

"That sounds good." Hinata nodded, grabbing the back of my shirt, "Lead the way."

I hesitated for a second before continuing forward, writing off the act as her attempts to keep us from getting separated. I figured the less I read into her behavior, the better, but that became increasingly difficult with each subtle touch or lean.

The two of us stayed standing for as long as possible, but once Hanabi came out, acknowledged us, and got in line with the rest of her team, we sat down. It was a few minutes later that Hinata lowered her head onto my shoulder, and after a few more seconds had passed, I accepted the gesture by placing my arm around her and pulling her close. What was I doing? I didn't even know.

While Hanabi's team ended up coming in second place, but Hanabi herself was named MVP of the competition, and after getting her solo picture taken, she came over to Hinata and I in the front and lifted us to our feet so we could take a group photo. I rubbed my eyes free of the camera flash aftereffects, and when I turned, I found a mischievous-faced Hanabi elbowing Hinata as she murmured something to her. Whatever it was had to be embarrassing, because Hinata was growing redder and redder by the minute.

"Hanabi, you did great out there!" I commended her with a hand on her shoulder, "After a game like that, you must be starving, ya know! Wanna get some ramen?"

"Arigato, Naruto but our coach is gonna treat us at some fancy restaurant tonight. Why don't you two go ahead?" Hanabi waved us on, "I'll see you at home, Nee-sama."

"Eh? Hanabi, wai—!" Hinata reached out to grab her, but Hanabi gracefully stepped out of her reach and smiled.

"Have fun!" Hanabi wished us before heading off to her team and I turned to Hinata.

"So…how about it?" I offered, scratching the back of my head, "Food's on me, you can eat as much as you want."

"I'd…I'd like that." She nodded, combing her fingers down her hair before looking away, "I'd like that very much."

The walk to Ichiraku's was silent and tense, and there really was no reason for it. Hinata and I were friends, good friends. After all, she'd shown up to almost all my football games, although she cheered for the whole team but still, it was the thought that counted. I'd even caught her afterwards and we would chat about anything before eventually going home.

So why was now so…difficult?

Sighing internally, I sat down at the renowned ramen stall and ordered the usual before slapping some bills down on the counter. Hinata told Ayame she would have the same thing and Ayame smiled before leaving the two of us alone at the counter.

"Um, are you planning on traveling this summer?" I turned to Hinata, drumming my fingers on the table.

She shook her head, "My father wants me to get more involved with the family. He says it's time for me to step up now that I've graduated."

By the way her head slightly lowered, I could tell she wasn't exactly thrilled about her familiar responsibilities, but I asked her just to make sure.

"I…I was raised to be the head of the Hyūga clan." She began with a shaky voice, "Neji-niisan spent his whole life protecting me because of this. If I abandoned my duty, his death would be—"

"Do you think Neji wanted that?" I cut in, "Did Neji tell you that the only reason he protected you was because you were the future clan head?"

"He…He didn't, but—!"

I tightly clutched Hinata's shoulders and forced her to look at me, "Neji cared about you, Hinata. If you were upset, he was upset; if you were smiling, he was smiling, ya know. Up until the very end, he wanted nothing but the best for you. Do you think he'd be happy if he knew you were planning to make yourself miserable?"

"Naruto-kun, you don't understand." Hinata shook her head.

"You're right," I conceded, letting go of her shoulders, "Maybe I don't. After all, I'm not the heir to a fancy ancient clan, but if there's one thing I do know, it's that life is what you make it, ya know. So Hinata, you have to choose: are you going to live your life for yourself or for others?"

She stared down at her hands and took a deep breath, "I…"

Before she could give me an answer, Ayame returned with our bowls, and I told Hinata to think about it over lunch.

"Itadakimasu." I clapped my hands together over the ramen before picking up my chopsticks and slurping up the noodles.

As I ate, it occurred to me to look over at Hinata and I froze when I saw her silently crying as she picked at her bowl. Fearing that I had ruined her appetite by giving my unwarranted opinion on matters clearly too sensitive for someone as brash as me to speak on, I hastily tried to backtrack.

"No, it's not you." She sobbed as she wiped under her eyes, "I just…arigato, Naruto-kun. Hontōni, arigato."

I didn't quite understand what she was trying to say but when she picked up her eating pace, I figured that my main concern of her no longer wanting to eat had been disproven, and I forced myself to focus on my bowl in front of me. When we both finished eating, I stood up and stretched my arms before turning and offering Hinata my hand. After a moment of hesitation, she took it and stood up alongside me.

Waving over my shoulder, I thanked Ayame for the meal before proceeding down the street and after a few minutes, I noticed that Hinata had yet to let go of my hand. She was silent beside me but this silence wasn't awkward or bothersome, no, in fact it felt…comforting. However, it didn't last long, as a metallic blue luxury car pulled up beside us.

"There you are Hinata-sama! I've been looking for you all o—!" The dark green haired woman cut herself off as her eyes fell to our joined hands, "…Your father needs you."

Releasing my hand, Hinata turned to me, "Sayonara, Naruto-kun. Today was fun."

"A-Aa, it was." I said as I watched her get into the back, "Listen, are you available next week? There's a roller-skating rink in Otafuku, ya know. I'm thinking we can check it out?"

Hinata smiled as she rolled down the window, "I'd love to."

"Okay." I nodded, waving as the car pulled off, "See you later, Hinata!"

"And then, well you know the rest." I wiped my mouth of any excess alcohol before setting the Awamori bottle down.

"I do." Toneri concurred, sighing and wiping his face with his hand, "I still don't get why you divorced. Hinata loved you, Naruto. She still loves you, and by the way you told this story, you love her too. So why…?"

Biting my lip, I trained my eyes on the ground, "I…am not the man you—many people think I am, ya know. I-I do love Hinata but there's…there's someone else I love even more."

"Who?" He questioned, and I found myself looking up at him curiously.

'Who woulda thought in a million years that I'd be talking to Toneri about this of all people?' I wondered to myself before sitting up, 'Fuck it.'

"I mentioned her in the story. My childhood crush: Sakura-chan." I answered, "We…We're together."

At this, Toneri's eyebrows came together, "But isn't she your brother's wife? Or did they separate too?"

Unable to bring myself to say anymore, I shut my eyes and heard Toneri's slight gasp.

"I see."

The room went silent except for the ticking of the clock, and it wasn't until I heard Toneri stand up that I opened my eyes.

"I said this many times while telling you my life story, but I love Hinata." He stated, grabbing the Awamori bottle of the floor and spinning it around in his hand, "Ever since I first laid eyes on her, I knew she was the one, the only one. That's why I didn't move on—I couldn't. There isn't a woman in the world that could take her place, at least to me. But you…"

I swallowed hard, bracing myself for the rebuking that was to come.

"You chose the path that I couldn't. The love of your life was committed to someone else, so you tried to be happy with another, but failed." He observed sadly, "Arigato, Naruto. Thanks to you, we both ended up with our first choice."

I tightened my fists, "When you say it like that…Hinata wasn't—"

"It's a little too late to lie, don't you think?" He gave me a look before unscrewing the wine bottle and taking a swig, "You were her first choice, unfortunately for her, she wasn't yours. Now that you're out of the way, Hinata can finally get the treatment she deserves."

"Toneri, you bastard!" I snarled as I stood up, grabbing him by collar, "If you hurt Hinata in any way, I swear, I'll—!"

Toneri interrupted me with a shove, and because more than enough time had spanned for the alcohol in my body to take effect, I struggled to regain my balance.

"Although it's none of your business what happens between her and I, I didn't mean for that to sound…malicious." He heaved a heavy sigh, "Even though Hinata accepted my proposal, she'll be comparing us for the rest of our lives, but I will do everything I can to make her forget about you and focus on me. And there is nothing you can do about that."

Like a fish out of water, all I could do was open and close my mouth at Toneri's declaration.

'He's right.' I reasoned, lowering my head in defeat, "Just…promise me one thing, ya know."

"…What?" He questioned, still on guard after my most recent assault.

"Promise me you'll take care of her." I implored him with a weakening voice, "Promise that you won't…you won't hurt her like I did."

Toneri purposefully bumped into me he walked by, "Like I'd need to hear that from you."

"Aa." I said to myself once he was out of earshot, "I guess you're right."

---

|Hinata|

Boruto avoided looking at me the entire ride back, and despite how much it bothered me, I decided to leave him be. However, once we were home, I called his name and forced him to turn around before he could rush upstairs.

When he looked at me, his sky-blue eyes were swimming with so many emotions, but the obvious guilt and shame at the forefront tugged at my heart.

"Ka-chan, about Tou-chan's—I didn't want you to…" He trailed off as I pressed a finger to his lips before pulling him into a hug.

"It's okay." I assured him, "I'm not mad at you."

I felt his body tense in the habitual way that it did when he was trying not to cry, and soon after he wrapped his arms around my back before burying his head into my shoulder and whispering his apologies.

"Gomennasai. I just—I wanted to protect you…"

After some time, I gently patted his shoulder, a silent way of telling him to head upstairs and on to bed. With a sniffle, he nodded, and I watched him go before removing my shoes. It hadn't escaped my notice that Himawari had darted up the stairs as soon as we'd arrived, and there was no doubt in my mind that she had some misplaced guilt just like her brother, but I figured I wouldn't wake her from her sleep over it.

I went to my room and removed my jewelry before slipping into the bathroom to wash my face, but when it came to removing Toneri's…my engagement ring, I paused. Although it had been some hours since I'd been proposed to, it was only now that I was alone that I could being to process my decision and how monumental it really was.

'We're engaged…' I thought to myself as I slid the ring off my finger and set it down on the sink counter, 'And someday soon we'll be—'

My thoughts were cut short by the sound of my door opening and closing, and I quickly scrubbed my face free of any makeup before toweling it dry and returning to my room. I stepped out of the bathroom to find a sullen Himawari standing at the foot of my bed, twiddling her fingers.

Something about her awkward posture reminded me of my younger self, and as her eyes flooded with tears, I spread my arms and urged her to give me a hug.

"Gomennasai, Mama…!" She sobbed as she curled into my embrace, "You just started feeling better and I—!"

I hushed her before rubbing her back up and down very slowly, "You didn't do anything wrong."

With my forgiveness assured, Himawari burst into tears, and I gently rocked her back and forth while I continued to hug her. It was only when her sobs had quieted down and her shoulders had stopped shaking that I directed us to the bed before releasing her.

The two of us took a seat and I swiped a careful thumb under her eyes, wiping away any stray tears.

"I never should've told Hanabi-oneechan." She mumbled, leaning against my shoulder, "If she hadn't told you—"

"I would've found out eventually." I insisted, rubbing her shoulder warmly, "Your father would have come to me in a month or two to reveal things himself, so if anything, you guys just sped up the timeline."

She frowned, "But you're hurt, aren't you? Onii-chan told me—"

"I'll live." I cut her off, not wanting her to fall down that rabbit hole, "To tell the truth, yes, I am hurt. But I've been through much worse, so it'll take more than some heartache for me to throw in the towel."

Himawari nodded before falling back onto the bed and I turned back to look at her. She reached for my hand and I gave it to her, linking our fingers before she shut her eyes. Some time went by before she spoke, although her eyes remained shut.

"Mama, if it's not too painful, can you tell me how you and Papa met?"

I tilted my head to the side as I thought for a moment, "It's not painful at all. If anything, it's kind of embarrassing."

"Really?" She quickly sat up, eyes wide with curiosity, "What happened?"

"Well…"

I was four years old when my father's twin brother Hizashi died. Or, more accurately, when he was killed, and it was all my fault.

Back then, the Hyūga clan was the most prominent family in town, even beating the Uchiha in terms of prestige. It was only natural for us to have enemies, what with our high standing and all, but as a child, I didn't fully grasp the danger around us until it was too late.

One night, due to my restless inclination, I stepped out of my room and went for a walk around the main house's veranda, hoping the snowfall would calm me down. Some nefarious persons had broken into the compound and were lying in wait for, anyone really, and I just so happened to be the first person to step out unguarded.

They were on me in a flash, and I found myself being suffocated by a handkerchief over my mouth. A terrible smelling chemical filled my nostrils and within moments, I lost consciousness. The last thing I remembered was them hopping over the gate of the main compound and running.

When I next awoke, I was back in the main compound, specifically in my father's bedroom. Although my vision was still blurry, I looked around and managed to make out two similar looking figures at my father's desk, and as one slumped down into the chair, I tried to focus.

"It's too late for me." Uncle Hizashi chuckled, although his laughter turned to coughs, "By the time the ambulance gets here, I'll be gone. Just make sure Hinata is okay."

Father shook his head, grabbing my uncle's shoulder, "Stop talking. I'll wake the nurses; if we can stop the bleeding then—"

"What bleeding?" Uncle Hizashi interrupted, letting go of his side and standing up, "Don't you get it? There's nothing left to stop, I'm already empty."

At this, Father went silent, and he didn't have to face me for me to envision the pained look on his face.

Uncle Hizashi held Father's cheek and pressed their foreheads together, "Dry your eyes. You don't want the rest of the clan to see their beloved Hiashi-sama bawling like a baby, do you?"

"Hizashi, you…" Father trailed off, sniffling.

Uncle Hizashi stepped back and smiled, "I hated the main family. To be honest, I still hate it. But before we're main or branch, we're family, and if I'm to die protecting my family, then so be it."

"How can you say something so selfish?" Father hissed, scrubbing his eyes, "What about Neji? What am I supposed to tell him?"

"Tell him…tell him that I did what I expect him to do, and that's protect his family." Uncle Hizashi whispered before falling forward.

Father caught him immediately but when he pushed him back to look him in the eyes, it was clear that he was gone. I heard Father suck in a sharp breath before he pulled Uncle Hizashi's body close and cried into his shoulder. It was only as his sobs died down that I decided to alert him to my presence.

"Tou-sama?" I called, sitting up in bed.

Quickly, Father wiped his face clean of any tears before coming to my side and inquiring of my status, "Hinata, daijōbu?"

Uncle Hizashi's funeral would be held a week from then, and it was there that I became aware of how culpable I was for his death.

"What was she doing outside in the first place?" Some muttered.

"If only he hadn't been there, he could have lived…"

"But then Hinata-sama would have—!"

"Would've served the main family right." One grumbled, "Let them feel loss for a change."

By the time the funeral was over, I was on the brink of tears, and to make matters worse, even Neji who I so often relied on to cheer me up wanted nothing to do with me that night.

Guilt-ridden and feeling so isolated, I excused myself to the bathroom before leaving the building all together and running into the woods. I don't know how long I ran or for how far, but I eventually slowed down when my legs began to ache, and when I looked around, I realized I was lost.

Alone and afraid, I crouched down in the middle of the road and cried to myself.

"Oi! Daijōbu?" A boisterous voice called from down the way, and I looked up.

A small blond-haired boy with an orangish jacket and a red scarf wound tightly around his neck approached me, and when he got within a meter, he raised an eyebrow, "Well? Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

Sniffling, I wiped under my eyes and stammered, "I-I-I don't…"

"If you keep crying like that, how am I supposed to find out?" He laughed, holding his hands behind his head, "You know where your house is?"

I shook my head and he hummed as he looked me over, "I think I've seen you before, ya know. Yeah, I definitely have which means I know where your house is! Come on, let's go."

Before I could respond, he took my left hand in his and started down the street. I gasped as we practically ran whatever route he'd made up in his head, and I lifted a hand over my eyes to protect them from the falling snow. After some time, he slowed down and I recognized the main entrance of the Hyūga compound up ahead.

"You live in a big place like this with your family so why are you crying?" He questioned in disbelief, "My parents died before I was born, but I never cry."

He gave me a pointed smile as he finished speaking and I nodded my head. Releasing my hand, he urged me to walk the rest of the way home alone and once I was by the main gate, I turned back to find him in the same spot.

"Later!" He called with a wave before turning and running down the street.

I raised my hand to wave back but Father's voice startled me, "Hinata! There you are!"

He opened up an umbrella before stepping outside with me, "You are the important heir to the main family! You can't just disappear like that!"

"G-Gomennasai—" I started to apologize but was cut off by him grabbing my hand and yanking me inside.

"It's about time you learned these things!" Father fumed before his voice fell, "You can't let—Hizashi's sacrifice mustn't be in vain…"

"And there you have it." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I tried to prevent the rest of my memories from that night from surfacing, "Basically, I was a whiney little girl who got herself lost, and your dad had to help me back home."

"Aw, Mama, that's not embarrassing." Himawari assured me, hugging me from behind and resting her chin on my shoulder, "If anything, it's actually kinda cute. Well, the getting-lost-and-going-back-home part, not the uncle-being-killed-due-to-dangerous-individuals, part."

"Arigato, Hima." I thanked my daughter, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "It's…It's one of my fondest memories."

"No problem," She smiled as she got off me and flopped back onto the bed, "So is that how you two fell in love?"

"Um, not exactly." I admitted as I laid down beside her, and she propped her head up with her elbow before wriggling her eyebrows at me, "Okay, well technically speaking that was the first time we met, but your dad might not remember. It was in elementary school that…"

I wouldn't cross paths with Naruto for a long time after that night. It was in elementary school that we became properly acquainted. Iruka Sensei had everyone introduce themselves and give a like, dislike, and our dream.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto loudly announced, jerking a thumb at himself, "I really like Ichiraku's ramen, I hate waiting for the hot water to cooldown in instant ramen, and my dream is to become Konoha's Fire Chief!"

The class muttered and snickered about how he was a good for nothing just spouting nonsense, but I was absolutely blown away. How someone could be so unapologetically confident in themselves was a mystery to me, and in some ways, I wanted to be like him.

My own introduction was pitiful, and aside from my name, I don't think anyone really caught my likes and dislikes or my dream. In the end, I was probably one of the first people to be forgotten about out of the entire class. My personality didn't change as time went on, and I spent all of elementary school acting as the ghost of the class, with the only person who could compete with me in terms of quietness being Shino.

Middle school was slightly better, as I managed to speak up a tiny bit more and introduce myself to my current friends. Shino and I ended up bonding due to our propensity for silence, although his was willing whereas mine was out of shyness, and Kiba connected with both of us based on his natural inclination for reading body language.

"When you live around dogs as long as I do, you get used to talking without words pretty quick!" He grinned as he wrapped his arms around the two of us.

Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji had been a close trio since they were young and that wouldn't change anytime soon, but Ino and Choji did make it a point to step out and mingle with others, particularly me. Shikamaru was still a bit standoffish, but that was more of a testament to his laziness than him being stuck-up.

Naruto and Sasuke were joined at the hip as usual, and wherever Sasuke went, Sakura wasn't very far behind. As for Neji, he remained my big brother figure but seemed to have his own little clique consisting of Lee and Tenten. Being his friends, they naturally became acquainted with me and I guess you could say we all got along.

In terms of progress between Naruto and I, middle school was a dormant time except for one incident just before spring break. Kiba and Naruto had gotten into a squabble over something stupid, and Kiba had ended up slamming Naruto on his back.

Naruto got up with Sasuke's help and cursed, "That bastard Kiba…"

As he turned to leave, I held out my hand-made ointment and bowed my head, "P-Please accept this apology gift!"

"Hm?" He looked down, "What's this?"

Lifting my head, I struggled to explain, "I-It's a healing ointment I made. The recipe has been passed down in my family for generations…"

"Okay, but what are you giving it to me for?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion, and I was at a loss of words.

Thankfully, Sasuke seemed to understand my intentions and helped me out.

"Just take it, you idiot." Sasuke advised him with an elbow to the stomach, "Didn't you just get your ass handed to you by Kiba?"

"I did not get my ass handed to me! That fucker grabbed me when I wasn't paying attention, ya know!" Naruto protested before taking the ointment from me, "Arigato, Hinata. But anyways, you hear me, Sasuke? Kiba didn't do shit."

"Yeah, yeah." Sasuke rolled his eyes before stuffing his hands into his pockets and continuing down the hall, "Like we didn't see you get slammed to the floor a few minutes ago."

"Like I told you, he…!"

It was a simple, quick interaction but it stuck with me, and although Naruto seemed preoccupied at the moment, I would learn later on that it stuck with him too. But that was it for middle school. High school, however, was where a major shift occurred.

I let my hair grow out, I was much better about holding conversations with people and not running away within the first five seconds, and I had a group of friends that I could rely on during my lowest moments. Naruto too had been making changes to his life, even going as far as joining the school's *football team so as not to "lose to Sasuke," and I used this particular change as a way to grow closer to him.

Any time a school football match was announced, I did my best to show up. From home games to away games, to qualifiers to semi-finals, I was there, cheering Naruto on any chance I could. And by cheering, I meant holding a giant sign that read "GO TEAM KONOHA!" but in my mind, I was really only there for him.

It was after the loss of the finals that would've led to our team going to nationals that I caught Naruto outside of the arena. He had his team tracksuit on and was doing some light stretches in front of the bus. A quick glance around told me that he must've been the first to dress up and head out, and I asked him what he was doing while waiting for the others.

"Gotta keep in shape." He explained as he began doing some jumping jacks, "We got to finals so that means we're championship ready, ya know."

"But…you lost finals." I said a gently as I could, not fully understanding his reasoning, "Aren't you sad?"

He nodded, "I was for a bit, but one quick shower in the locker room and some time to myself helped me figure stuff out, ya know. Sitting around moping won't do anything for me. All I can do is prepare for next year and make sure we win."

"Wow." I couldn't hide my admiration, "It's amazing how you think."

Naruto shrugged, "If there's one thing I won't do, it's run from a challenge or go back on my word, ya know. That's just my way."

"But what about you, Hinata?" He changed the subject, twisting side to side, "How do you feel about our loss?"

I hurriedly waved my hands, "Oh, I'm not too upset about it. I mean, it's unfortunate that you guys lost but like you said, there's always next year."

"Aa." He grinned, "Thanks for showing up, ya know. I always see you in the stands, so I am a bit bummed not winning for our greatest supporter."

My cheeks lit up instantly, and I turned away, "W-Well, don't worry about me. If anything, this just means there'll be more matches for me to show up to."

"Ain't that the truth!" Kiba called from behind me.

The two of us turned and saw Kiba coming out along with the rest of the football team, and I quickly patted my pants down as he reached us.

"What are you two knuckleheads doing out here?" Kiba questioned, rubbing his chin, "Discussing how Naruto cost us the game, right?"

Naruto shoved Kiba as hard as he could, "Like hell I did. If we're really gonna start pointing fingers, then what was that last pass, Byakko?"

A green-haired teammate puffed up, "What? There's no way you're gonna pin this on me when Kazuki had a free shot on the goal and missed."

"I was offside!" A brown-haired boy raged, "It wouldn't have counted anyway!"

As the team descended into madness, Naruto tapped my shoulder and I turned back to him. He mouthed the words, "See you later" before stepping forward to join the argument and I smiled before heading off to the parking lot to find my ride.

From then on, Naruto made it a habit to smile or wave at me in the hallways, and whenever we happened to be going in the same direction once school ended, he would strike up a conversation with me. I found myself wanting to be around him more and more, but the more time I spent with him, the more I picked up on how his eyes were always on Sakura if she was in the area.

He loved her, and I knew this to be true because I loved him, yet I wasn't confident enough to grab his face and force him to stare at me. Truth be told, I was fearful of the negative outcomes of such a reaction. If Naruto were to tell me that he wanted nothing more than to be friends, I…I wouldn't be able to take it. So, I remained a platonic figure by his side purely for my mental health's sake.

It was a windy afternoon in the summer of junior year that would make me realize I couldn't continue to live my life under such false pretenses.

Naruto had fallen from the school rooftop headfirst and was currently on the way to the hospital. Having been the one to find him, after calling an ambulance and making sure Naruto had been attended to, Sakura came to the class during our lunch break. While the others discussed what he could've been doing up there in the first place, I was already out of the classroom and racing downstairs.

Once I reached my locker, I changed my shoes and called for Natsu to bring the car to the school. At first, she questioned what I was leaving so early in the day for, but my voice must have conveyed how urgent the matter was because she promised to be outside in ten minutes. It was just as I hung up the phone that I noticed Sasuke walking out of the school with his older brother.

Something came over me and I called his name before following them outside, and Sasuke looked at me for all of two seconds before continuing down the walkway.

"He's okay." Sasuke informed me, "My father is with him now. Says except for a slight headache, he's in tip top shape."

I stopped in my tracks and clutched the sides of my skirt tightly in my fists before bowing my head and shutting my eyes, "Thank goodness…"

Naruto would have a speedy recovery and be back at school next week, and after two days of getting back into the swing of things, it was that Wednesday that I would ask for him to meet me on the baseball field after school.

"Yo, Hinata." He raised a hand and greeted me as he walked up, "Daijōbu?"

I couldn't help but smile at the familiarness of the situation and nodded my head before taking a quick breath and beginning.

"You may not remember it but the first time we met you found me not too far from here." I pointed East, "Just a little bit behind that red building, although it wasn't there in the past. I was lost in the city on a snowy night, and you saved me."

He removed his hands from his pockets, a sign that he was listening intently.

"You've saved me many times since then." I continued, "With your words, with your actions, with your smile…so when I heard you had fallen from the rooftop that day, I realized that I needed to tell you how I feel. Because you never know what might happen."

He nodded limply and I forced my eyes up to his before sealing the deal, "I love you, Naruto-kun."

And before he could respond to my confession, I turned and walked away.

"WHAT?!" Himawari exclaimed, grabbing my shoulder and shaking it, "Why would you do that, Mama?! How were you supposed to know how Papa felt?"

"He was still in love with Sakura-chan at this point." I clarified, removing her hand from me, "I wasn't just gonna stand there and have him reject me. I needed to let him know for my conscience's sake!"

She shook her head, "Now what if Papa would've heard that and gotten a change of heart like, 'Oh, I actually love you!' instead?!' You wouldn't have known!"

I rolled my eyes, "There was no way that would've happened. He truly loved Sakura. He still loves her, as you can see."

"…Gomen." Himawari apologized, all the fire in her disappearing at my reminder of the current situation, "I didn't mean to—"

"No, no, it's fine." I assured her, shutting my eyes, "I shouldn't have—this isn't something you should concern yourself with, okay? Your father and I are adults, we'll figure things out."

I felt her shift beside me and opened my eyes to find her sliding off the bed.

"Himawari?" I called, wondering if I had pushed her away somehow.

She turned to me with a hand to her mouth and yawned, "I think I'll go to bed, Mama. It's late and I'm tired."

"Even though I didn't tell you how the two of us fell in love?"

She waved her hand, "I'll get the story from you another time. You should sleep too, Mama. I'm sure you're the most tired out of all of us."

"I will, I will." I promised before blowing her a kiss, "Oyasumi."

"Oyasumi." She called over her shoulder before pulling my bedroom door shut.

I laid in bed for a little longer before forcing myself up to change, and after pulling on a night gown, I switched on my phone and dialed Hanabi. Surprisingly, she picked up on the first ring, and I dimmed my room lights before climbing back into bed.

"Nee-sama?" Hanabi's familiar voice floated into my ear, "Everything okay? How are you feeling?"

"Fine, um, Hanabi have you told anyone about…about me and Naruto?" I paused as I tried to word things as vaguely as possible.

"No one except for my amazing husband who I won't keep any secrets from, right babe?" I could see the two of them in my mind's eye, which is why I wasn't surprised to hear Konohamaru's voice next, "Leave it to me, Hinata-neechan! I'll make sure to give Naruto-nii a piece of my mind at work on Monday!"

'That's what I was afraid of.' I quietly sighed to myself before speaking, "Actually, I'd like it if the two of you could just keep this to yourselves. At least until Naruto and I have properly talked about it."

"Talked about what?" Hanabi objected, "Nee-sama, he cheated on you with Sakura-san, who isn't innocent either by the way. The two of them don't deserve peace after making your life living hell."

Frustrated, I pinched my eyes shut and groaned, "Hanabi, drop it. I don't want anyone hearing of this until I say so, understand? And that goes for you too, Konohamaru. If anyone, anyone calls me out of the blue to 'find out the truth' I won't speak to you guys for the next five years."

"Ugh, okay." She agreed, "Is that all?"

"No, but…" I bit my lip, "Do you think you could take me off speaker for this?"

"Nee-sama, Konohamaru and I are open books with each other so—"

"Hanabi, please." I cut her off, hoping the urgency would show in my voice, "I need to tell you something, but I can't…not with him—"

"Give me a minute." She replied, and I heard the ruffling of what sounded like bedsheets in the background, which indicated that she'd gotten up, "Okay, this had better be good. I took you off speaker and I got out of bed, so what is it?"

Rubbing my forehead, I exhaled and with that breath, all the tears that I'd been holding back fall. Hanabi was ghostly silent on the other end, but when my quiet sobs eventually began to die down, she spoke.

"Nee-sama, are you…you're not pregnant with Naruto's baby, right?"

I would've laughed if I weren't so distressed, "No! Why would you think that?!"

"I mean, you were just fussing at me and Konohamaru about keeping his affair a secret, and then you get me alone only to start crying out of nowhere…trust me, I know what pregnancy mood swings look like. Are you sure you're not—?"

"I'm not…!" I doubled down on my answer as I sniffled, "I'm just—I'm crying because Toneri proposed to me today and I—"

Hanabi gasped, "He proposed? Oh Kami, and what did you say?"

"…I said yes."

She gasped again, "Why? You remember how he was in the past, don't you, Nee-sama? Are you sure he's changed?"

"He has." I assured her, wiping under my eyes, "But that's not why I'm crying. I'm crying because I…I think I'm doing what Naruto-kun did."

"Which is?"

"Marrying someone I don't love. I don't truly love…" I corrected myself with another sharp breath, "He's changed for the better, Hanabi. He's kind and generous and thoughtful, everything a woman wants in a husband, but I'll never love him like I loved Naruto. I just…can't."

Hanabi went silent for a moment before replying, "Then why don't you break up with him? Sorry for stating the obvious answer but Nee-sama, you said it yourself, you don't love him enough. So why would you…?"

"Because…because I don't want to be alone." I admitted in a tearful voice, shutting my eyes, "I don't want to go back to being alone, Hanabi."

"Oh, Nee-sama…" Her voice softened, "Kami, I…we should be having this talk in person, not over the phone."

"I'm glad it's over the phone." I countered with a soft chuckle, "If it were in person, you'd probably convince me to give Toneri the ring back and call it quits."

"And isn't that the better option?" She questioned.

I shook my head, "Not for me. Not in the long run. I'll call him tomorrow morning and ask how quickly we can get our marriage certified. Just so it won't be so easy to leave if I suddenly feel the need to jump ship."

"Nee-sama…" Hanabi called my title disapprovingly, "Are you sure about this? What if Toneri's been acting this entire time and once you get married, he shows his true colors?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I get there." I curled in on myself as I spoke, "I just…needed to confess my true feelings to someone before I go through with it."

"…Well, as much as I hate to admit it, it sounds like you've made up your mind." She sighed, "I'm guessing you want me to keep this a secret too?"

"Yes, please." I nodded, although she couldn't see me, "And I know you said you and Konohamaru don't hide anything from each other but—"

"Of course I'll make an exception for my big sister." She interrupted me with a yawn, "But we have got to talk about all of this soon so give me a time and date and we'll meet up, okay?"

"Okay." I agreed, finding myself yawning with her, "Oyasumi, Hanabi."

"Oyasumi, Nee-sama." And with that, the call ended.

Setting my phone down on the bedside table, I pulled the covers up to my shoulders and scrunched my eyes shut.

---

|Sasuke|

Although I'd gone up earlier in hopes of falling asleep, I was still awake by the time Karin and Ren returned to the room. Ren was muttering incomprehensibly to himself and that only stopped when Karin helped settle him on the couch.

"Oyasumi, Misaki-san. Oyasumi, Toshiaki-sensei." He mumbled before falling asleep.

Karin switched off the lights before coming around the side of the bed to join me, and I turned away so as not to weirdly stare while she climbed in. I debated staying like that even after she'd settled in but changed my mind when I felt her head against my shoulder.

Shifting so that I was laying on my back, I lifted my arm and allowed Karin to cuddle up to my chest before looking down at her, "Daijōbu?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I questioned, offering her my ear.

She shook her head once more and I sighed before shutting my eyes, "Well, oyasumi."

"…Oyasumi." She quietly replied.

Trying to fall asleep while alone had always been a tedious task, with one thing or another coming to mind to keep me up, but with Karin by my side and Ren's soft snores filling the room, I felt the dullness of sleep come over me in record time. However, I never was truly safe from my thoughts because my worries of the day often followed me into my dreams.

As my dreamscape loaded in, I realized this time would be no different, and soon enough I was reliving a memory from my early childhood.

A five-year-old me ran to the entrance of the house after having heard the door slam, and I jumped onto my preteen brother's back as soon as I saw him.

"Nii-san, nii-san!" I exclaimed happily, "Now that you're back, can you teach me some *kyudo tricks?"

"Gomen, Sasuke, but I'm busy." Itachi apologized, setting me down, "Ask Chichiue to teach you."

"Hm, I see." I turned up my nose indignantly, "You really do hate me, don't you?"

Itachi shook his head and smiled as he grabbed a duffle bag from under the stairs, "Don't say that. I really don't have the time today."

"You always say that…" I pouted, "Maybe later, maybe tomorrow…when is that time gonna come?"

After lifting the duffle bag onto his shoulder and slipping into his sandals, Itachi held two fingers together and poked my forehead.

"The next time Chichiue and *Hahaue go somewhere, I may be free."

I perked up with hope, "Really? When is that?"

"Ask Chichiue to tell you." Itachi reasoned, sliding the front door open.

At this my face fell and I looked down, "I can't. You know Tou-san doesn't like me."

"That's not true." Itachi assured me, stepping out, "He loves you more than anything. Believe me."

I opened my mouth to dispute that claim but was cut off by Itachi sliding the door shut and walking away. Moments later, a bunch of small footsteps rapidly approached me, and I turned around just in time to see Naruto fly around the corner.

"Was Itachi-nii here just now?" He looked around happily, searching for any trace of my brother.

"Aa, but he just left." I informed him, stuffing my hands into my pockets and walking back into the house, "You should've been quicker."

"Aw man!" Naruto moped before coming up behind me, "So, what happened? Did he say when he'd be back?"

I shook my head and he frowned, "Sometimes Itachi-nii can be the worst."

"Tell me about it." I muttered.

Itachi still wouldn't be home by the time darkness fell, leaving me and Naruto to eat dinner with Mother and Father. While the two adults discussed current events and politics, Naruto cut in every now and then asking for someone to pass the fish or give him another serving of rice. I, on the other hand, ate in total silence, as I was more focused on figuring out the best way to question my father without upsetting him.

It was when he started to stand that I realized I'd wasted too much time, so I called for his attention before he completely got up.

"Um, Nii-san said you're going somewhere…" I began weakly before clearing my throat, "Will that be anytime soon?"

Father stared at me as Mother collected our plates, and once everything was packed up, she left for the kitchen, but not before nudging Father with her elbow. As she left the dining room, Father sighed before answering my question.

"…We're going to visit your mother's family on my next day off. Do you want to come?"

I shook my head, "No, I just wanted to know when because Nii-san said he'll teach me some archery tricks that day."

"Hey, why don't you ever ask me to teach you?" Naruto brazenly jumped in, feeling offended, "I bet I could help you better than Itachi-nii, ya know."

"In your dreams." I scoffed.

"Why you—!"

Father banged his fist on the table, "Enough."

The two of us immediately quieted down and folded our hands in our laps before looking down.

"Tell Itachi to come speak with me the next time he comes home and I'm in." Father ordered, standing up and dusting his pants down, "I need to talk to him about wasting your time with flashy new moves instead of sticking to the fundamentals."

"Yes sir…" I accepted, and didn't raise my head until his footsteps faded away.

"Gomen." Naruto apologized with a whisper, "If I hadn't started it, maybe he wouldn't have—"

"It's fine." I cut him off, tightening my fists, "He's always like this with me, you know that."

Naruto nodded before taking a seat by my side, and he threw an arm over my shoulders and pulled me close before apologizing again, "Gomennasai."

Shutting my eyes, I exhaled, "Arigato."

Father's day off ended up being two days from then, and thankfully he and Itachi wouldn't meet before that time. Itachi taught Naruto and I how to use a bow, and by the end of the day, I was consistently hitting the bullseye while Naruto was hitting just outside of it every time.

"You two are both like me." Itachi commended us with a smile.

Naruto and I shared a grin before Itachi ordered us to pack up so we could head home. By the time we were back at the compound, the sun was just beginning to set.

"Nii-san, can you teach us again sometime, like you did today?" I questioned as the three of us sat on the veranda.

"Sure, when I find the time." Itachi agreed.

"It's a promise, it's a promise." Naruto rubbed up to him, forcing his head under Itachi's arm, "You better not flake out on us."

Itachi laughed, "I won't, I swear."

"Hm…" Naruto gave him a look, indicating that he didn't believe him, and Itachi ruffled his hair, "If you say so…"

Itachi offered to cook us dinner and two of us gladly followed him into the kitchen to observe the process, although I couldn't say that I understood a single thing back then. All I knew was that after twenty minutes of standing over a hot stove, when we set the table, there was fish, rice, chicken, crab, lobster…anything and everything you could think of.

"Itachi-nii, you made all this for us?" Naruto's mouth hung open in a large O, shocked by the amount of food before him.

"Yeah…" Itachi's voice wavered, and I took note of that because it was very rare for him to sound unsure of himself, "Maybe I went a little overboard?"

I snickered, "You think?"

The three of us laughed before chowing down, although Naruto and I ended up being the main consumers of the food as Itachi set aside his bowl after two servings and encouraged us to eat up. By the time we were finished, Naruto and I's stomachs had swelled considerably, but his was slightly larger than mine so I teased him about being pregnant.

We chased each other around for all of two minutes before succumbing to exhaustion from being stuffed, and Itachi suggested we sit out on the veranda for some fresh air. Naruto leaned against my shoulder and fell asleep within seconds, leaving me with the peace and quiet of the night. That is, until Itachi stepped out with three folded up futons.

"What do you think about sleeping outside?" Itachi questioned in a low voice.

I raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure we're allowed to do that?"

He nodded and I shrugged my shoulders, "Sure, why not?"

After Itachi was done setting things up, I rolled Naruto off me and onto the closest futon, and aside from some whines and murmurs, he remained asleep even as I pulled the covers over him. Once I was sure that he was situated, I climbed into my own futon and pulled the covers up to my shoulders before looking at Itachi.

"I want to become as skilled as you, Nii-san." I told him with a small smile, "That way Tou-san will acknowledge me too."

Itachi held a long blink before replying, "You…will surpass me, Sasuke."

"Impossible." I shook my head, "No one can beat you, Nii-san."

Itachi laughed before turning on his side to look at me, "You're a lot like me, so you have the potential. I know you can do it."

I felt my cheeks heat up at his praise and shut my eyes, "Fine then, I'll surpass you."

He poked my forehead with his two fingers, and I opened my eyes to find a big smile on his face, "Aa, you will."

At this point in time, my relationship with my brother was relatively positive but it was when I entered elementary school that things began a downward trend.

"4?" Father questioned as he looked over my report card, "Why didn't you get a 5?"

"Um, Math was giving me some trouble so—"

"Math?" Father cut me off, his eyebrows furrowing, "You're telling me you can't do simple addition or subtraction?"

I quickly shook my head, "It was long division that—"

"Division?" His voice rose in disbelief, "Reiko has ten apples; she splits it between five of her friends. How many does each person get?"

"Two, but—"

Father stood up, "Correct, which means you know how to divide, so tell me, why didn't you get a perfect score?"

Angry from having been interrupted so many times, I flared up and tried to change the subject from me, "Naruto got a 3!"

"Naruto is not an Uchiha!" Father raged, grabbing me by my collar, "He could get a 1 for all I care; it wouldn't matter to me because he's not one of us!"

The creaking of the floor outside the room caught both of our attention and Father set me down before lifting a hand to his mouth, as if he wanted to take back what he said. This was only my impression though, because as soon as he caught me staring, he lowered his hand and continued in a low voice.

"You're supposed to be on top, the best of the best." Father hissed, "When your brother was your age, he did so well his first year that it was decided he would jump to middle school instead of second grade."

I clutched my pants and lowered my head, not wanting to my resentment to be easily identifiable.

"When you wear the Uchiha family crest to school, you're essentially going there as a representative of the entire clan, not just yourself." Father lectured, "That symbol is a sign of prestige, of magnitude. You can't let us down while you have it on, understand?"

"…Yes sir." I answered through grit teeth as I raised my head, "I understand."

Father stared at me for a moment before waving toward the door, dismissing me, and after another bow, I stepped out of the room. I found Naruto leaning on the wall right next to the door, but he lifted a finger to his lips, indicating that I shouldn't say anything.

Sliding Father's door shut, I walked down the hallway as briskly as possible towards the closest opening to the veranda, and once I was outside, I took a seat and waited for Naruto to join me.

Within a few seconds, he walked up behind me, and although I patted the space beside me, he remained standing.

Sighing, I looked up at him, "How much did you hear?"

"…Everything." He sulked, eyes downcast, "Your old man really doesn't care about me."

"At least he feels that way instead of hating you." I murmured, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them close, "Sometimes I wish we could switch."

"He doesn't hate you." Naruto argued, deciding to take a seat at this, "If anything, he loves you, ya know."

I heaved, "Ugh, you and Nii-san keep saying this but how does yelling at me for not getting a perfect score seem like love to you?"

"…He wants you to do better." Naruto offered an explanation after a moment of thought, "Because he loves you, cares about you. Otherwise, he'd treat you like he treats me."

At this, I patted Naruto's shoulder, "Trust me, you're not missing out anything."

Naruto looked away, a pensive expression on his face, "I'm not so sure about that…"

Things would only get worse between Father and I as the years progressed, and my feelings toward Itachi soured as a result. By middle school, I had refined myself in my studies so that my grades could never be used a point of contention again, but of course Father found other things to complain about.

"You have too much free time on your hands." Father stated one day, stepping out onto the veranda, "Why don't you join a club or find some other extracurricular activity to participate in?"

Naruto and I were in the grass trying to figure out a certain wrestler move that we had seen on television.

The two of us separated instantly and I bowed to Father, "You're right, sir. I'll join a club tomorrow."

I always tried to deescalate the situation by immediately agreeing with him rather than arguing back in order to prevent his temper from rising, but it seemed that he actually preferred quarreling with me, because he'd go on to compare me to my brother even if I complied.

"When Itachi was your age, he'd come back home, finish his homework and then shadow some of the beat cops on patrol." Father crossed his arms, "That's why he was welcomed to the force after he passed his qualifications test. They way you're going, it looks like you'll have to go through the four years of training first."

Biting my tongue, I replied in a controlled voice, "I would hope not, sir. I'll do my best to follow in my brother's footsteps."

"Follow in your brother's footsteps…" Father repeated with a mutter before shaking his head and walking away, "Do you even know what you're saying?"

It wasn't until he was out of sight that I spat, "Of course I know what I'm saying."

Naruto gave my shoulder a light pat, reminding me to keep my cool and I sighed.

"Gomen but I don't feel like doing this anymore." I apologized with a raised hand, "I'm gonna get myself something to eat before I head to my room."

Naruto nodded in understanding, and I left him in the grass before walking inside. After heating up some leftover shrimp from last night, I made my way down the hall to the stairs, and as I placed my foot on the first step, the front door swung open. I turned to find Itachi and Shisui laughing to each other as they entered the house.

Itachi shut the door behind Shisui before facing forward and the two of them noticed me at the same time.

"Yo, Sasuke!" Shisui raised a hand in greeting as he smiled, "How's everything going?"

"Fine." I nodded before continuing up the steps, and only looked back when I felt a pull on my shirt.

"Wait a second, you're not gonna say hello to your big brother?" Shisui questioned with a raise eyebrow, looking between the two of us, "What's up with that?"

"…Okaeri, Nii-san." I begrudgingly acknowledged him before turning back to Shisui, "There, I said it. Can I go now?"

By the look on Shisui's face, it seemed like he wanted to say more, but a hand on the shoulder from Itachi made him reconsider.

"Sure," Shisui sighed, "Go on ahead."

Nodding, I climbed the stairs without looking back and made my way to my room. It took me about five minutes to finish my shrimp and once I did, I laid back and stared up at the ceiling as irritation quietly started to rise within me.

Although I hated to admit it, Father had a point. If I truly wanted to join the rest of my family and become a police officer, I had to start taking my life a bit more seriously. With this thought in mind, I stood up and searched my closet for the Uchiha Police Handbook I had been given when I'd first started middle school.

I found it in the back of my closet underneath some old shoe boxes, and with a few swipes and puffs, the dust and cobwebs were gone. My room door slid open just as I began skimming over the table of contents and I looked up with a bit of frustration, wondering who could have come to interrupt me now.

Unsurprisingly, Itachi stood in the doorway of my room with a light smile, of which I met with a scowl before looking back down at the book. I cursed under my breath as he stepped into the room and shut the door behind him, and soon enough the edge of my bed dipped under his weight as he took a seat.

"…Skip the preface." He began, helping me turn the page, "It's just a glorified history lesson on all the past Police Commissioners."

"And I'm guessing you have them all memorized." I assumed venomously, looking up from the book.

"Well, including Tou-san there's only four so…" He trailed off as the look on my face worsened, "Something's bothering you. Tell me."

I opened my mouth to explain how he was the source of all of my problems, and if only he didn't exist, then Father wouldn't be so hard on me, but the more I thought about it, the more childish it seemed. Itachi couldn't help being so gifted, it was in his nature, just like hating me seemed to be in Father's.

"It's nothing." I decided to say, turning away from him and laying down on my bed, "Tou-san just wants me to do better is all."

"That's not nothing, Sasuke." Itachi told me as he stood up, "I know how overbearing Tou-san can be sometimes. I can talk to him about it and get him to ease up off you if you'd like."

Knowing that would only make things worse, I shook my head, "Arigato, Nii-san, but I'm fine. I tune him out most of the time anyways."

"Just don't push yourself." He warned as he left my room, "If you have a problem, come talk to me about it. I'm your big brother after all."

"Aa," I muttered to myself once he was gone, "That's the problem."

Once high school came around, I was a ticking time bomb with legs. No matter how hard I worked or how much I excelled, I would never be good enough for him. At school, I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but at home, Naruto, Itachi and even Mother knew the truth. They all encouraged me to talk to him but each time, I waved away that advise as nonsensical.

"What's the point?" I would reply, "He hates me, end of story."

Mother must have intervened however, because for a few weeks, Father didn't say a word to me other than the most basic greetings. That changed the day after I brought Sakura over to study.

Our biology midterm was in two days and while I was confident that I could get at least a 4 on my own, I knew with Sakura's help I would be guaranteed a 5.

We studied for three hours straight before taking a twenty-minute break for some snacks Mother had brought up, and once those were finished, we continued our analysis. By the time we'd wrapped up, it was 7 o'clock and extraordinarily dark outside.

I helped Sakura wear her coat before following her downstairs, but as I pulled mine on to escort her home, Father appeared at the top of the stairs calling for me. I began to explain that I was just about to Sakura home when he waved his hand and called for Naruto to accompany her instead.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan, I'll protect you from any bad guys out there, ya know!" Naruto announced as he grabbed a coat from the nearby closet before jumping into his snow boots, "Now, let's go!"

Sakura sighed before giving me a small smile and stating that she would see me later.

"Tomorrow." I nodded, echoing her goodbye, "Maybe after the exam we can—"

"Sasuke, upstairs. Now." Father's firm voice interrupted me.

Clenching my jaw, I turned around and climbed up the stairs, only to find that he'd moved further down the hall and was now standing in the doorway of his office. He beckoned for me to follow him before going inside and after a deep breath, I obeyed.

"Shut the door." He ordered as he took a seat at his desk, and once I'd carried out his request, he folded his hands together and held them under his chin, "What's your relationship with that girl?"

"Relationship?" I repeated, feeling my eyebrows furrow together, "We're just friends."

"Good, and it'd better stay that way." He nodded before pulling out his left-hand drawer, "That's all, you're dismissed."

As far as interactions with my father were concerned, this might have been the quickest, most neutral one we'd ever had, but something about his statement bothered me, so I asked him to elaborate.

"Do I really need to say more?" He glanced up at me before wearing his glasses and opening up a packed binder, "For one, she's not an Uchiha. Two, she's a commoner, and three: that hair color is just…she wouldn't be suitable for you."

Tightening my fists behind my back, I tried to pick his brain as calmly as possible, "So who would be appropriate for me in your eyes?"

"Preferably someone like Izumi." He replied nonchalantly, crossing something out on one of the numerous pages now spread out on his desk, "Intelligent, distinguished, more on your level."

Sakura had all those qualities and more but now wasn't the time to argue that. Instead, I brought up the little bits of gossip I'd heard since Izumi and Itachi's engagement.

"But Izumi isn't a full Uchiha, is she? Her mother married outside of the clan and had her."

"…Her mother's case was an exception." Father paused before replying, "As is customary with defectors, she left the compound to live with her husband. It was her husband's death a few years later than allowed her to come back."

"So a half-breed is acceptable but—"

"Watch your mouth." He cut in sharply, "Izumi is to be your sister-in-law, I won't allow you to insult her in my presence."

Letting out a sigh, I stared him down, "I'm not trying to insult her. My point is, how come her mother can marry an outsider but I can't?"

"Because Izumi's mother is not my child." He stated plainly, "And while I'm not too thrilled about Izumi's circumstances, at least she is someone of our bloodline."

"But she's—"

"I don't want to hear another word about this." He interrupted, waving his hand, "You and this Sakura girl are just friends, correct? Then there's no need for this discussion. Out."

Fuming at his flippant dismissal of me, I sought to regain his attention anyway I could, and in doing so, ended up admitting something about myself that I'd known a long time ago.

"…I love Sakura." I stated after taking in a deep breath, "I love her and I'm going to marry her."

That got Father's attention, as he promptly stood up and came around his desk, "What did you say?"

I cemented myself into the ground before continuing to look him in the eyes. It had been years since my father had given me his death glare, but I was seventeen years old now; I could handle it.

"You heard me." I nodded as he approached, "I'm going to marry her just like Izumi's mother married Izumi's father."

"Like hell you are." Father warned, stopping right in front of me, "Do you have any idea what you'll be setting yourself up for? Do you know what Izumi's parents went through?"

Although he was still angry, I could see traces of anguish permeating his features, as if he were recalling something terribly traumatic.

"You are the second son of the main family." Father reminded me of my status, grasping my shoulders tightly, "If you abandon the clan over some woman, they—"

"Sakura's not just some woman." I interrupted, unable to take his disrespect any longer, "She's an amazing girl who loves me, and I—"

His bitter laughter cut me off, and I stared at him with bewilderment as he stepped back and swiped a hand down his face.

"Gomen, go on." He waved his hand, still chuckling, "You were spouting some naïve nonsense about love."

At this, I narrowed my eyes, "There's nothing naïve about it. Then again, it's not like you ever felt it, at least not towards me."

His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but he must have decided against it because he turned away from me and went back to his desk, "You're bored. Go find Naruto and tell him to play with you."

Even after all I had said, I was losing his interest, and I scrambled to reclaim it.

"I'll do it." I insisted, almost warning him, "I'll marry her and go against the Uchiha clan, just like you said."

Father didn't reply until he had taken his seat behind his desk, and after he folded his hands, he looked up at me with the most unyielding expression I'd seen on his face in a long time.

"If you truly wish to abandon your family, then go ahead." He began, his eyes unblinking, "At a point, I felt that my perception of you was too biased, that because your older brother was a prodigy, I had been looking at you through too narrow of a lens, but now I see that I was judging you correctly the entire time. There's a certain spark every Uchiha should have, and you don't."

My heart shriveled.

"You're no prodigy, that's for sure, but it seems as though you're not even half as intelligent as I thought you were." Father continued, his words venomous, "You're weak and emotional. You do things based on your heart and not your head, and despite my best efforts to correct you, old habits indeed die hard."

"Marry the girl, leave the clan, and let your heart lead you to your demise. All this means is that you simply weren't cut out for this world." He concluded before shutting his eyes, "Now, I think I've wasted enough of my time speaking to you. Get out, while I'm still being polite."

Blinking back tears, I left his office and sped down the stairs. All the rage I'd felt, all the defiance that had been rushing through my blood moments ago was gone, and in its place was despair, despair that everything I'd ever feared about my father was true. Not only had he compared me to Itachi my entire life, he hated me for not being able to match up to him, and as a result had deemed my existence a waste.

In that moment, all I wanted was to be as far away from the house as possible. With trembling hands, I frantically pulled on my snow jacket before stepping into my boots, and as I opened the front door to leave, I heard someone step out from the kitchen.

"Sasuke?" Itachi called, "What's going on? Where are you going?"

Thinking that he was the last person I wanted to talk to, I grit my teeth before continuing outside. Quickly, I walked through the Uchiha compound and left through the back entrance, but once I was a considerable distance from the gate, I broke out into a full sprint. My running had no purpose, no direction, and the only goal I had in mind was to run until I couldn't anymore, but with stamina like mine, that would take time.

It was hours later that I finally came to a forced halt, falling into the snow as my legs gave out from under me. After a moment of rest, I managed to lift my head up enough to check my surroundings and found that I had subconsciously come to the statue of the founders.

A few feet away from me, a thirty-two-foot Madara stood beside an equally sized Hashirama, and I blinked when I saw something move behind them. My fear of having encountered some sort of creature swiftly disappeared as a familiar blond-haired figure stepped forward.

"Took you long enough, ya know." Naruto said as he helped me off the ground, "What did you do? Take a lap around Konoha?"

Still breathing heavily, I struggled to answer him, "Something…like that…"

"Yeah, well, don't do it again." He punctuated his response with a pat on my back before setting me against Madara's statute, "You didn't leave a note, didn't tell anyone where you were going…you had your mom worried beyond belief, ya know."

The thought of my panicked mother pacing back and forth in the kitchen saddened me, and I lowered my head.

"She'll get over it though." He attempted to clear my conscience, punching me lightly in the shoulder, "So I wouldn't worry about it too much."

Nodding, I leaned back against the statue and let out a heavy exhale.

"…Why did you run off?" Naruto questioned after a bit of silence, "Something happened?"

It was thanks to this question that the hurt which I'd pushed myself to avoid thinking about rushed to the forefront of my mind, and I tightened my fists at my side.

"Tou-san told me that he hated me." I grit my teeth as I recalled his words to me, "Well, that was the gist of what he said."

"No way." Naruto placed a hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him, "There's gotta be some kinda mistake, ya know. What exactly did he say?"

Annoyed by his persistent attitude to always look for the good in a situation, I recounted word for word the discussion between Father and I, but by the time I was done, my tears were streaming down my face faster than the Naka River current.

"I-I don't know what to say." Naruto admitted, at a loss on how to react, "Buddha be merciful, I mean, maybe he's—"

"Enough, Naruto." I interrupted him with a sniffle, wiping under my eyes, "I know what you want to believe, and I wish I could believe it too, but he made it clear what he thinks of me and there's no changing it."

He pursed his lips but said nothing and I couldn't help but sob.

"Why can't he love me for me?" I wondered, coughing miserably, "Why am I not enough?"

"You are enough." Naruto insisted, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a brotherly hug, "You're more than enough, ya know. Forget what your dad said, okay? You're enough, Sasuke."

That night, Naruto saw me at my lowest, most pathetic form, but he didn't crack a single joke at my expense. Instead, he became my biggest supporter, fending off questions from Mother and Itachi before encouraging me to go to bed. Father, of course, showed little interest in my return, and simply shut the door to his office once he confirmed I was home.

I wish I could say that I took Naruto's words to heart and ignored my father's words, but I didn't. Deep down, I still wanted to please him, still wanted to prove that I wasn't a disappointment, but in my quest for his acknowledgement, I ended up pushing away the one woman I wanted.

Months went by without me so much as speaking to Sakura, and not only did I torture myself, but because of how sudden the gap between us was, the negative rumors surrounding her character spread. I had no doubt that these were due to my distant Uchiha cousins that also went to school with me, as the rumors were focused on trying to paint Sakura as some sort of seductress, and as much as I wanted to defend her when I heard someone spreading the hateful gossip, I bit my tongue and carried on.

In avoiding her, I hoped that I would acquire the spark my father said he didn't see in me, but the longer time went on, the less motivated I became. It was on a Friday night towards the end of spring that Kiba threw a house party that changed everything.

Although I'd used every excuse in the book to justify why I couldn't go, Naruto wouldn't hear it, so against my will I was forced to attend. Naruto disappeared with Choji and Lee once we arrived, which didn't surprise me at all. However, there seemed to be a group of people who also hadn't felt like coming, so I made my bed with them.

Shikamaru, Sai, Neji, and I sat at the kitchen table playing cards for as long as we could, until eventually the four of us realized that we hadn't properly been keeping score.

"Welp, I'm out." Shikamaru yawned before tossing his cards down, "Let's just say Sai won."

"Arigato, Shikamaru." Sai smiled, "I'm glad you realize I would have beaten you all anyway."

Neji set his cards down, "That's a presumptuous statement to make, don't you think?"

"I'm willing to start over if you want to disprove me." Sai offered.

I stood up, "You two will have to hash that out on your own, I'm gonna take a walk."

Grabbing a beer from the fridge, I stepped out of the kitchen and made my way through the overcrowded living room. I started to make my way to the front door when the end of a conversation caught my ear.

"Alright, well, it was nice talking to you, Ino-san." A brown-haired senior gave her a side hug as he wiped his mouth clean of any alcohol, "But I need to find Sakura-san. Hopefully she hasn't left."

It was at this moment that the music changed, and an obnoxiously loud hip-hop beat prevented me from hearing Ino's response. Whatever it was must have encouraged Genma because he laughed before turning around and heading further into the house. I told myself to keep walking, that it was none of my business who Sakura spoke to or what she did, but these sayings weren't enough to prevent me from investigating.

After a couple minutes, I turned around and followed after him. It turned out that Kiba's house had a convoluted interior with multiple rooms connecting to the same hallway, so it took me some time to catch up to the guy but when I did, I immediately wished I hadn't. The door room was ajar, so I didn't even have to peek inside; in the corner of the room, Sakura and the senior were lip locked and snug against each other, with the senior's arm around Sakura's waist attempting to pull her even closer.

I was frozen in place for a second, but once I got over my initial shock, all I felt was anger. I tried to calm myself down, repeating that it wasn't my business, that Sakura wasn't my girlfriend, that she was free to do as she liked, but once I let that sink in, heartache set in.

Unfortunately, before I could unclench my jaw, Sakura happened to meet my eyes. Shocked that she was being watched, she mumbled an apology to the senior before pushing him away and rushing past me.

I couldn't recall going home that night, but I was in a sour mood over the weekend, and hearing the fresh rumors enveloping Sakura only made me feel worse.

"I saw her get into Genma-senpai's car and then the two of them drove off. Before 10 p.m.!" Some random girl hissed.

"Maybe he was taking her home?"

"Oh yeah, because we're middle schoolers who have to be in bed by 11. I'm telling you, the two of them probably had s—"

Slamming my locker shut, I turned to the group of gossiping girls, "It's seven in the morning and you're being noisy. Shut up."

"G-Gomen, Sasuke-san." The girl weakly apologized, and the three closed their lockers before walking off.

A few moments later, a whistling Naruto came up to me, "Eugh, what happened? You have this really ugly look on your face, ya know."

Sighing, I turned to continue down the hall, "Nothing. I just heard something very stupid."

They were rumors, and they would disappear as soon as the school had something else to talk about. In a way, I was correct, as something else did happen but it ended up still involving Sakura. It turned out that she was dating the senior from that night, and after collecting information from here and there, I learned his name was Genma.

"He doesn't look all that tough." Naruto muttered to me under his breath, "What do you say, Sasuke? Think we can take him?"

I watched as a smiling Sakura and Genma walk down the hallway arm in arm, happily chatting about dragons and somebody Targaryen, and I sighed.

"Quit it." I nudged his shoulder, getting him to cease his hostile glares at the couple, "If she's happy, that's all that matters."

Biting his lips, Naruto refrained from saying something that may have led to an argument between us, and we watched them walk away. Things wouldn't remain agreeable between me and Naruto for long, and after we'd come home from our first day of finals, we erupted.

"You dumbass!" Naruto roared, delivering a solid uppercut to my jaw, "Why won't you just admit it, ya know?!"

Although I was seeing stars, I managed to deliver a somewhat effective left hook, preventing him from advancing on me while I was disoriented. Once I regained my balanced, I clenched my fists and faced him.

"Admit what?" I questioned as I blocked his oncoming punches.

"Really?" Naruto clicked his tongue before nailing a sharp kick to my stomach, sending me to the floor, "You're still playing dumb?"

I ended up knocking over a vase on a nearby small table, and Mother called our names from upstairs.

"Naruto? Sasuke? What was that?"

Before I could respond, Naruto climbed on top of me and began an endless barrage of punches to my face, "Fine. I'll just beat the crap out of you till you tell the truth, ya know."

By the third punch, I had figured out what he was referring to be, but I would be damned if he'd force me to confess to something when it was too late.

"Boys!" Mother yelled from behind us, having come downstairs, "What's going on? Naruto, you stop that right now!"

Naruto held his right fist back before turning to her, "Mikoto-san, I was just—"

It was in that moment that I grabbed his collar and lifted myself up before headbutting him. He fell back, tightly clutching his forehead from the pain and I kicked him in his side after managing to get up.

"Sasuke!" Mother called my name in surprise, but I paid her no mind.

Naruto caught my foot during my next attempt to kick him and tossed it aside before pulling himself up. With the two of us now on equal footing, I raised my arms to a guard stance and prepared to exchange blows.

"You're a coward." Naruto spat, jabbing me under my ribs, "Why don't you tell her how you feel instead of moping?"

"And what do you think's gonna happen?" I shot back with a wince before catching him with a right hook, "She's in a happy relationship, I'm not gonna ruin that for her."

At this, Naruto groaned, "Ugh, you're a genius but you're really stupid sometimes, ya know. She's—"

"Boys." The two of us froze as Father stepped forward, having been called by Mother, "That's enough."

Immediately, Naruto and I dropped our hands to our sides before bowing our heads and standing up straight.

"Would either of you care to explain what this was about?" Fugaku crossed his arms.

"Just us sparring inside the house." I promptly answered, not daring to look up.

"I see." Fugaku put his hands in his pockets and turned to Naruto, "Is that what this was?"

"Yes, sir." Naruto nodded, "I wanted to test my strength against Sasuke's."

Silence took over and every second felt like a lifetime of its own. Finally, Father sighed and clapped his hands and two of us looked up, understanding that he wanted us to pay attention.

"Not only did you boys fight in the house, but during the commotion, you broke a vase and frightened your mother into thinking it was something serious by not stopping when she asked you to. I expect that vase to be fixed by tomorrow, and I don't want to be called down for something like this ever again." Fugaku clapped once more and the two of us bowed before heading down the hall and out onto the veranda.

As soon as we stepped foot on the grass, I tried to resume the fight with a heavy-handed left swing, but Naruto grabbed my fist just before it could connect and used my momentum to lift me up and slam me to the ground.

"Damn aikido…" I cursed as I attempted to sit up, "I'm not done yet."

"Enough, Naruto." Itachi called from inside, and the two of us turned to find him stepping out, "I'm sure you've noticed by now, but Sasuke is incredibly stubborn. You could break every bone in his body and he wouldn't give in."

Frowning, Naruto backed up, giving Itachi room to help me to my feet. After he was certain I wouldn't fall over, he pulled the two of us into a hug.

"Naruto, if you go to the kitchen, you should see some onigiri on a plate by the microwave. Bring them to us, please."

Naruto nodded his head, "Sure thing, Itachi-nii."

Once he was gone, Itachi turned to me, "Are you ready to confide in your older brother or should I give you some more time?"

After taking in a deep breath, I revealed all the things that had been eating away at me, from Father's disapproval to my treatment of Sakura, and Itachi only spoke after he was sure that I had concluded my monologue.

"Gomen, Sasuke." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close, "I know you've heard this before, but Father doesn't hate or think less of you. He wants to prepare you for the real world."

"By telling me that I'm missing the Uchiha spark and that if I marry an outsider, I'll be a traitor." I stated in disbelief.

Itachi shook his head, "I'm not saying his methods are right, but in order to understand Tou-san, you have to know about the era he grew up in. Konoha was in very bad shape at the time; crime was rampant, the police were corrupt…Tou-san watched a lot of his loved ones get killed before his very eyes, including Izumi's father."

I paused, recalling the pained look on Father's face during our last confrontation.

"Things are better now but seeing things like that, being one of the few people of your age group to survive…it molded him." My brother continued, "Back then, love was a weakness, and from Tou-san's perspective, those who couldn't harden their hearts died. That's why he doesn't really know how to show affection, and sometimes Ka-san complains about it too. Even I…"

Although Itachi trailed off, I perked up, interested in hearing his own thoughts about our father, "Even you?"

"Even I wish he wasn't so…stiff." He finally said after a pause, "I'm his firstborn, Sasuke, and I'm so much like him that it—it scares me. On the rare occasion that Izumi and I argue, she'll tell me that sometimes she feels like she's talking to Tou-san. I grew up watching him stay unfazed no matter what was happening and because of that, I don't know anything other than how to remain calm."

"But you're not as bad as Tou-san." I assured my brother, patting his back, "So what if you have a straight face most of the time? It's not like you say mean things to people out of habit."

Itachi sighed, "Not as bad doesn't make me better. Hontōni, be thankful we're similar but not the same. You have Ka-san's face, and from the looks of things, her heart too. Don't ever lock it away. Emotions are what make us human."

"I—"

"Yo, Itachi-nii!" Naruto's distinct voice called from inside, "I ate three but left the rest alone, ya know!"

"Aa, that's fine." Itachi nodded, taking the plate from Naruto as he stepped to us, "Take one."

I felt tears come to my eyes as I bit into the rice ball, and Itachi patted me on the back before urging the three of us inside.

"How about I take you guys to the movies?" Itachi offered, spinning Father's car keys around on his fingers, "My treat."

As fate would have it, Sakura would happen to be at the movies and despite how uncomfortable I felt reaching out to her after all this time, I told myself that I would have to do it. So it was there by the popcorn stand that I grabbed her hand and told her I was in love with her.

She didn't exactly respond right away, preoccupied with her date with Genma, but at the end of the school year she called me out to Senju Park, and we reconciled.

Even though I'd heard Itachi's explanations for Father's attitude and words, I never did fully forgive him for the way he'd treated me, and a year later, his behavior towards me after I announced that Sakura and I were engaged didn't make me regret it.

"You still chose her after what I told you?" Father questioned.

I nodded my head, "I love her."

He scoffed and looked away.

"I love her and I'm going to marry her." I continued, standing up, "And we're going to raise some amazing, happy children, something you couldn't do."

At this, he uncrossed his arms and as his mouth fell slightly open, his face wore a…pained expression, something I'd only ever seen on him once before. It surprised as well as unsettled me, and I turned to head out of his office.

"Wait." Father's voice was weak as he called out to me.

I looked back, "Yes?"

"If you marry her, you'll have to find your own place." He cleared his throat, "The Uchiha compound is for Uchihas only."

"I know." I nodded before stepping out, "I'll figure something out."

"Sasuke, I…" Father's voice wavered with an emotion I couldn't quite place, and I kept my gaze forward, "Take care of yourself."

"Aa. I will."

High school came and went, and I was a month into my summer travels with Sakura when I got the news. Father was dead, had passed away in his sleep. After taking a moment to process things, I informed Sakura of the situation, and we returned to Konoha.

Of course, having been Police Commissioner as well as the head of the Uchiha Clan, it was no surprise to me that his funeral was as grand as his status. I kindly thanked anyone who gave me their condolences, but truthfully speaking, I didn't feel too upset by his death. The only reason I may have shed a tear or two was because of how hard Mother had been crying, as seeing her in pain had always affected me.

Mother's pain would prove to be too much to bear, as she would pass away the next year from what the doctors said was a broken heart. I tried to keep my tears to myself at her funeral, but it was the sealing of the casket that broke me. Naruto was on my right crying along with me, while Sakura was on my left rubbing small circles into my back.

It was after that year that, with my brother the now-clan head's blessing, Sakura and I got married. There were a lot of objections to our union, mostly from the elders who shared my father's views, but I didn't pay them any mind. Itachi gave me a lump sum of cash as a wedding gift, and I used all of it to purchase a sizeable family house.

I began my career as police officer at the ripe age of 21, and some months after my start, Sarada was born, although the circumstances surrounding her birth were…

*Kyudo means way of the bow and is a Japanese form of archery

*An extremely formal way of saying mother

---

|Sakura|

Sasuke was handsome; that was the only thing I could think of when I first laid eyes on him, and when I learned that he had a thing for girls with long hair, I fought off my mother's attempts at a trim no matter what.

It's no secret that I was first drawn to Sasuke because of his looks and considering how I was quite unconfident in my own, things remained neutral between us for all of elementary school. In middle school, we happened to be in the same class for the majority of our years, and as such struck up a few conversations here and there.

Naruto was the one who really went out of his way to talk to me, but since he and Naruto were two peas in a pod, Sasuke eventually started talking to me too. At first, they were a bunch of surface level chats, with simple things like what did you have for breakfast, what did you get on that test, etc. Soon enough, we began discussing the shows we watched, current events, and the likelihood of aliens existing.

Sasuke was adamant about humans being the only source of intelligent life, but as much as I liked him, I had to disagree. Little debates like this helped me understand his character and his reasoning, at least a little bit. But the moment that shifted our relationship from classmates to slightly more than friends occurred one particular spring afternoon, two hours after school had ended.

I'd stayed the library to get some more studying in and finish my homework, but as I was leaving, I noticed an angry Sasuke storming out of the building. In his right hand was a bow and on his back was a black quiver filled with arrows. Something in my gut told me to follow him and the next thing I knew, we were in the woods behind the school.

I watched from a reasonable distance as he straightened his back, drew the string, and hit the target on the tree practically dead center. Upon closer inspection it was a bit to the left, and while anyone else would've been happy with such results, the slight straying of the arrow seemed to anger him even further.

Sasuke tried again, only this time his arrow landed right above the bullseye, and at this he threw his bow to the ground in frustration. Before I knew it, I was coming closer, and the snap of a branch under my foot didn't escape his hearing. He turned, eyes narrowed and mouth pulled into a frown, but upon recognizing me, his expression loosened somewhat.

"Oh, Sakura, it's you." He stated as he turned back to the target and lined up another shot, "What are you doing out here?"

"I-I saw you walking with your bow so I wanted to see…" I held my hands tightly together, "Gomen, am I in the way?"

Hitting just above the center again, Sasuke sighed, "No, you're not in the way. But I'm sure you're probably bored watching me fail so many times."

"You're not failing." I quickly countered, "You hit the center on your first shot! I don't think my arrow would land anywhere but the ground."

At this, Sasuke chuckled, "Yeah, well, that's to be expected from a novice. My father would say I should hold myself to a higher standard."

His laughter died down with this last statement, and I couldn't help but feel bad for him, "And what do you think about that?"

"I think…I think he's right. I mean, I've had a bow in my hands for as long as I can remember, but the way I'm used to holding the bow isn't correct so even if I hit every target perfectly, my father still wouldn't be pleased. Then again, nothing I do pleases him."

I gently touched Sasuke's arm and got him to look at me, "Don't let one negative opinion get to you, Sasuke-kun. I personally think you're amazing."

"Sakura, you…"

Realizing what I had just said, I felt my cheeks heat up and swiftly attempted to do some damage control, "And so do the others! Ino, Lee-san, Shikamaru, Neji…even Naruto thinks you're a genius."

He looked down and scratched the side of his face, "Hontōni? Arigato…"

Nodding, I stepped back, "Sorry for distracting you. I'll leave so you can—"

"Actually," He grabbed my hand before I could turn around, "I could teach you how to shoot a bow if you'd like."

I glanced down at our linked hands, "Uh, w-wouldn't that be too much trouble? For you, I mean."

"Not at all." He shook his head, "Besides, people say teaching someone is a form of practice in itself."

Swallowing hard, I returned to his side, "If you really don't mind then…sure, I'd like to learn."

Sasuke smiled before placing placed one hand on my shoulder and pulling me into a proper stance, "First you want to make sure that your feet are…"

I was wildly outside of my comfort zone with this, and Sasuke's closeness to me didn't help things. It turned out that the bow he carried was much heavier than it looked and since I didn't have the necessary strength to keep it up, Sasuke took my hands in his and helped me. In order for him to do this however, he had to get even closer, and the lesson proceeded with his chest against my back and his breath tickling my neck hairs.

"You have to pull the string as far as your ear if you want the arrow to have a lot of force behind it," He advised, moving our hands as he spoke, "Then you lift the bow to your forehead and lower it to your mouth as you release. Ready?"

I nodded and Sasuke counted for us to let go of the string at the same time. When we did, I watched with a bit of pride as the arrow flew and landed smack in the middle of the target.

"I did it!" I couldn't help but squeal, turning around and giving Sasuke a hug, "Wow, I actually did it!"

"You did." He nodded with a smile, patting my back, and it was then that I understood what I was doing.

I promptly stepped back and gave him a sheepish smile, "Gomen. But arigato, Sasuke-kun! I never could've done this without you!"

"I'm glad I could help." He assured me before looking up at the sky, "It's getting kind of dark. Let me walk you home."

"O-Okay." I accepted his proposal, and when he grabbed my left hand, I almost died on the spot.

As we walked back to the school, I wondered how Sasuke could remain calm while holding my hand, but then I figured that he must not have any qualms about it. That thought depressed me for a bit but when we finally left the forest, I could see an orange-jacket wearing goofball jumping up and down on the front steps.

Immediately, Sasuke let go of my hand and while at first, I was sad to have the skinship end so soon, I realized that if Sasuke really didn't care, he would've walked up to Naruto with our hands still together.

Maybe I was wrong and he only let go so that there wouldn't be any misunderstandings or to prevent Naruto from saying something dumb, but at the time, I saw it as confirmation of me having a chance with him, and boy was I happy.

Naruto had come back to the school to confirm Sasuke's whereabouts and once he heard of Sasuke's plan to walk me home, he insisted on tagging along. Although I was slightly miffed about my walk with Sasuke being third-wheeled, I'd made enough progress that day to keep me from being too annoyed. Besides, Naruto was actually kind of funny.

From that day forward, whenever Sasuke was planning to practice, he'd tap my desk three times before leaving. Likewise, if I knew I'd be occupied that day, I'd tap his desk twice in response. My heart warmed at the secret signals between us, and at the time, nobody could convince me that it wasn't love.

Our middle school days would come to an end like this, leaving me to believe that high school would be the place where we'd finally come together. And yes, technically, we did start dating our senior year, but things didn't seem so certain in the beginning.

For one, something about Sasuke had changed over the summer. I wouldn't say he was the most cheerful person in middle school, but he definitely hadn't been as irritable and rude as he was now. Because of this shift in personality, our middle school friend group sort of avoided him, and Sasuke swiftly became close with some others, namely Naruto's cousin Karin, so it didn't seem like he missed us too much.

I tried not to let it bother me and told myself that since we'd all grown up together, it was only a matter of time until Sasuke made his way back to us. Back to me. What a foolish notion that was.

Freshman year flew by without Sasuke showing so much as the slightest interest in ever talking to me or the others again, and I wondered how long this would last. Sophomore year came and went and Sasuke's bond with Karin and the others only seemed to grow stronger, which worried me.

My Dad passed away in early summer and of course that devastated me, but after some time, I had to move on. Then junior year arrived, and a few days into the first semester, a bombshell was dropped.

Karin and Sasuke were dating.

It seemed like I was destined to have one heartbreak after another, so to avoid making myself feel worse, I took the longest route to class to avoid seeing them, but no matter where I went, I couldn't escape. When I went to the cafeteria, they were at the first table, in the library, they were checking out books together, and when school ended, I always seemed to be right behind them as they linked arms and walked together.

Day after depressing day went by and I cursed myself for having naively believed that Sasuke would always be there for me. Before I went to bed, I prayed to Kami that if he would give me another chance, I would surely take it. Kami must have heard my prayer because after two heart-wrenching weeks, Sasuke and Karin had broken up.

I heard this from Naruto who'd spoken to both of them and learned that Karin had been the one to call it quits, but when he'd asked her why, she'd simply shook her head. I wasn't sure what to make of that, and could only hope that their breakup hadn't been messy, because the last thing I wanted was a hurt Sasuke on my hands.

However, as the weeks wore on, because of said breakup, Sasuke began mingling with our original friend group again. It wasn't on the same level as it had been in the past, but it was better than the lack of communication we'd been stuck in, and soon enough everyone welcomed him back into their arms. Sasuke didn't abandon his other friends however, and would sometimes sit with them instead of us during lunch, but no one held that against him.

When he did sit with us, however, I did take note of the fact that he was always near me, although sometimes Naruto was in the way. I managed to strike up a conversation with him a couple times, and checked in to see if he was still practicing with his bow, to which he shook his head and said that he'd traded in his bow for a gun.

Things were going great, but they could always get better, and this proved to be true when Sasuke asked me to tutor him two days before our biology midterm. After school had ended, we'd trudged through the snow to the Uchiha Compound, and his mother came down the steps just as we stepped into his home.

"Excuse me for the interruption!" I exclaimed as I bowed, but she quickly waved her hand.

"Please, no need for such formalities." She chuckled, taking Sasuke's coat from him and hanging it up, "But your name is…?"

"Haruno Sakura." I bowed again as I introduced myself, "I'm a friend of Sasuke-kun's."

Mikoto's eyes lit up, "Oh? Is that so?"

"She's tutoring me, Ka-san. Don't go saying things that are unnecessary." Sasuke huffed as he removed his boot, and he started up the steps before looking back at me, "This way, Sakura. My room's upstairs."

Nodding, I turned back to his mother, "It was a pleasure meeting you."

"Oh no dear." She smiled, "The pleasure was all mine."

Three hours went by before his mom popped in with some snacks, and Sasuke suggested we take a break. We laughed and joked as we ate the snacks and once we were done, we went back to work. Surprisingly, we ended up finishing the entire study guide in another two hours, and when I looked up, the clock read 7.

"Arigato, Sakura." Sasuke thanked me as he helped me wear my coat, "Hontōni, arigato. Now I'll definitely get a perfect score."

"Don't mention it." I assured him as we descended the steps, "A certain someone told me that teaching is a form of practice."

Sasuke stopped in his tracks for a moment but when he resumed his steps, it was clear to see he was fighting off a smile, "Well, whoever told you that must be pretty intelligent."

"Definitely." I agreed, smiling back.

Sasuke pulled his left jacket sleeve on, "Let me walk with you."

I nodded, yet just as he completely wore his jacket, a deep male voice called his name from the top of the stairs. By the way Sasuke's body stiffened, I knew that had to be his father and while I felt like I'd seen the Police Commissioner before, I kind of wanted to take a peek at him. The unfriendly tone in his authoritative voice, however, cautioned me not to.

Sasuke's father called for Naruto to escort me instead and Naruto came bounding down the hallway with his habitual goofy grin on his face.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan!" He smiled triumphantly, "I'll protect you from any bad guys that are out there, ya know! Now, let's go!"

I sighed before giving Sasuke a small smile, "I'll see you later?"

"Tomorrow." He nodded, waving, "Maybe after the exam we can—"

"Sasuke, upstairs. Now." His father's first voice interrupted him.

With a tight jaw, Sasuke turned around and climbed up the stairs, and I left his home on that note. My mind was predominantly focused on his last few words, and I wondered what he would have proposed had he not been interrupted. Could he have been planning to ask me on a date? No, that would've been out of the blue, and way too soon. Still, a girl could dream.

The next day came and went, and although Sasuke and I crossed paths, we exchanged few words. I got the feeling that he was almost avoiding me but quickly shook the belief away. We'd just had a fun study session yesterday, what had I possibly done to warrant being shunned? I made up all sorts of excuses for him in my mind and in the end settled on him trying so hard to focus on the test that he didn't have time for anyone or anything else.

That was why, when time had been called for the exam and everyone was dismissed, I hurriedly packed my things and chased after Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun!" I called as I grabbed his arm, "How are you feeling? Think you got a perfect score?"

"A-Aa…" He answered me uncertainly before looking away, "More or less…"

"More or less?" I questioned, feeling my eyebrows scrunch together, "Wasn't that the point of us studying together? For you to get a perfect score?"

He nodded, "Yeah, but…whatever, we'll just have to see when the results come out."

He tried to pull his arm from my grasp but I held on tight as I changed the subject, "O-Okay, well, what was that thing you wanted us to do after the midterm? You were about to suggest something when your dad called you upstairs."

At the mention of his father, Sasuke's eyes widened in almost a bit of panic, "About that, Sakura…the thing is…I don't think we should talk anymore."

"…What?" I questioned after a moment, not understanding what he was saying, "Why?"

"It's…complicated." He sighed.

"So you want me to stop talking to you but when I ask you why, you can't give me a decent reason?" I noted aloud, looking up at him, "Then, no! I will not stop talking to you! Not until you explain why you came to this decision."

He looked away, "Sakura, please don't make this any more difficult than it has to be."

"You made it difficult by suggesting we cut ties in the first place!" I countered, "What did I do, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke lowered his head, "Nothing."

"Then why—?"

"…I just don't want to be friends with you anymore."

His casual deliverance of the sentence unnerved me, but I forced a hard lump down my throat with a swallow, "But I thought we—"

"Enough!" Sasuke yelled, yanking his arm free and grabbing the attention of everyone in the hallway, "Whatever you thought was wrong. I don't want anything to do with you, understand? Leave me the hell alone!"

Tears threatened to pour from my eyes at any moment, but before the waterworks could start, I was determined to tell him how I felt, "Sasuke-kun, I—"

"I know." He accepted my words before I could complete them, giving me one last sorry look, "I know."

And with that, he turned and stalked off down the hallway, leaving me a teary, runny nosed mess. Word quickly spread about what had happened, and although my friends did their best to cheer me up, I remained sick to my stomach for the rest of the day. When the news got to Naruto, he offered to beat up Sasuke on my behalf, but I begged him not to.

"If Sasuke-kun doesn't want to talk to me then I can't make him." I reason, and that was the end of that.

Winter vacation allowed me to recover a bit of my broken heart but returning to school only to have Sasuke walk right past me destroyed any progress I had made. Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, but there was still no change in his attitude. I was beginning to believe that I had lost him for good this time, which was why when a senior named Genma approached me at one of Kiba's house parties, I didn't immediately turn him down.

I entertained him for a bit and learned that he was planning to join the military after graduating, and while I preemptively commended him for his service, I could already tell that this wouldn't go anywhere. However, before I could excuse myself from his presence, Ino came up to the both of us.

"Sakura, how's—oh? Sorry for interrupting…" She nudged me not the least bit shyly before turning to Genma, "I'm Sakura's best friend Ino; you are…?"

"Shiranui Genma." He smirked as he adjusted his bandana, "You enjoying the party?"

Ino turned out to be much better at talking to Genma than me, and I eventually slipped away and found myself a quiet, empty room to sit in. I was alone for more than thirty minutes before he was in front of me again.

"There you are!" He slurred, moving his beer to his other hand and placing an arm around me, "And here I thought you'd left."

"I was just about to." I confirmed, plucking him off my shoulders before slipping out of the corner.

"Oh. Well in that case, wanna head home with me?" He posed the question with a cocky, small smile spread on his lips.

Maybe it was because I had downed a few drinks myself, but something about his expression and slight head tilt reminded me of Sasuke. While the rational part of me was screaming for me to get away from him, the lovesick part of me wanted to indulge in the impossible comparison, so in a matter of seconds I grabbed his head in between my hands and pulled him into a strong kiss.

I wasn't afraid of the act in the slightest because technically speaking, it wasn't my first kiss. After finding a lifeless Naruto by the side of the school with his head split open a few weeks back, I had managed to shake off my heartbreak stupor in order to perform CPR. With a couple of chest compressions and some mouth-to-mouth, Naruto had blinked a few times before giving me a blank stare.

Needless to say, that was the first time my mouth had ever made contact with another's. Naruto's lips were surprisingly soft while Genma's were somewhat rough. The flick of his tongue over mine brought me out of my thoughts, and I shut my eyes as he snaked his arm around my waist before pulling me closer and deepening the kiss.

I got over the roughness of his lips soon enough and relaxed into his hold, unconsciously pressing my body against his. After some time had passed, I had the odd feeling that I was being watched so I opened my eyes and scanned my surroundings just to find Sasuke standing in the doorway. With a gasp, I pulled away and placed a hand on Genma's chest after he followed me for a few seconds.

"…Wow." Genma said, blinking away the remaining effects of my kiss, "That was…you're one intense chick, Sakura."

Unable to answer, all I could do was look back at Sasuke, who's jaw tightened at Genma's words. I didn't understand why he was angry and at the moment, it wasn't my top priority to figure out why either. I suddenly felt very sick, and although Genma was saying something, I couldn't hear him over the static in my ears.

"Gomennasai." I apologized to Genma before pushing past Sasuke and heading out of the room.

I didn't stop moving until I was out of the house, thankfully bumping into Ino along the way, and she ended whatever conversation she'd been having to follow me outside.

"Sakura? Daijōbu?" She questioned as she touched my shoulder.

Shaking my head, I leaned against a car and bent over, "I'm going home."

"What?" Her voice raised in confusion, "Sakura, it's not even 10—"

"I don't care." I cut her off before retching, "Are you taking me home or not?"

Before she could answer, a set of footsteps crept up on us and I looked up to see that Genma had followed me.

"I'll take you home." He offered, car keys in hand, "It's the least I can do."

Nodding my head, I tried to straighten up, "I'd like that, please."

Genma nodded in return before pointing down the street, "Just let me bring the car around. Wait right here."

It was as he jogged off that Ino gave me a look, "You can't seriously be planning to go with this guy."

"Why…not?" I wondered, shrugging my shoulders, "He offered, didn't he?"

"Sakura, we don't know him."

"He gave us his…name and he goes…to our school." I shut my eyes, "If I don't show up…at school on Monday, you know what to tell the police."

"That isn't funny." Ino socked me in the arm as I chuckled, "Seriously, when he comes back tell him that you found someone else, okay? I'll go get Neji."

Waving my hand, I heard Ino's footsteps fade away and groaned as my stomach curled in on itself. The sound of a car approaching made me lift my head up, and sure enough, Genma was leaning out the window. Seeing how sick I was, he parked the car before getting out to help me, and I thanked him as I sank into the passenger seat.

"Don't mention it." He smiled as he got in beside me and drove us down the road, "What's your address?"

After giving him my information as well as a couple recognizable cross streets, I sat back and shut my eyes. Kiba's house was a good thirty minutes from mine, but the ride back felt so long, I didn't even realize we had arrived until Genma tapped me.

"Here, I'll help you." He said, opening my car door and carrying me up the walkway, "You think you can make it inside on your own?"

Whether I could or not didn't matter because bringing a strange boy into my house at this time of the night was completely out of the question.

"I'll…manage." I told him, and he set me down.

"Alright, well…" Genma rubbed the back of his neck before turning to leave, "Have a nice night."

I returned his goodbye before unlocking my front door and heading inside. Truthfully speaking, I didn't think much of the kiss that night, and over the weekend it didn't occur to me at all. In fact, it wasn't until I went to school next week that I was reminded of the sloppy lip exchange, and it came back to me in the worst way.

As I walked down the halls, I noticed that almost everyone's eyes were on me, but it wasn't until I arrived at my locker that I learned why.

"Sakura! Oh Kami, you haven't heard?" Ino spun me around with her exclamations.

"About what?" I wondered with a raised eyebrow, grabbing my World History textbook from the top shelf.

"You and Genma!" She hissed before looking around, "People are saying that you went home with him the night of the party—"

"Because he was my ride."

"—And that you two had sex!" She finished with furrowed eyebrows, "Sakura, they're saying that the two of you are dating now!"

"What?!" I slammed my locker shut in surprise, "Who would even start such a…?"

I let my words trail off as Sasuke and Naruto came down the hallway, and while Naruto was busy talking Sasuke's ear off about some nonsensical sight he'd witnessed, it was clear Sasuke had no interest in what he was saying because his eyes immediately locked onto mine. As sick as he made me feel, I couldn't break eye contact, which was why I was devastated when he looked away.

Ino, of course, shot Sasuke a nasty look in my defense, but I didn't stay cheerless for long because of a certain someone not too far behind them. Genma was entering the school with a spiky-brown haired friend with weal scar on his face beside him, and Genma nodded his head in agreement with what his friend was saying before slipping a toothpick into his mouth. With a renewed sense of vigor, I handed my textbook to Ino before going over to him.

"Hey." I greeted him with a small wave, and he looked down at me in surprise, "Are you free after school today?"

Quickly recovering, he smirked, "Sure. Wanna hangout?"

I nodded and smiled, "I'll meet you by the front."

"Don't be late." He smiled back, and I returned to Ino.

"Um, Sakura, what was that?" She questioned, undoubtedly confused by the interaction that had just taken place.

Grabbing my textbook from her, I lowered my backpack to the ground before placing it inside, "Everyone already says we're dating so I might as well give the people what they want."

Genma ended up taking me to the arcade after school and while I wouldn't have described it as my cup of tea, he turned out to be an entertaining conversationalist with a surprising amount of knowledge in software.

"That's why C++ is this best programming language to make these things with." Genma informed me as I stood up from my seat, "It allows for games to load quickly and run smoothly, so that the next person can start once someone leaves."

I nodded my head, "Wow. You must really like this stuff, ne Genma-senpai?"

"I-I guess you could say that." He stuttered, scratching the back of his head as his cheeks turned red, and I laughed, "What about you? What are your interests?"

Slightly taken aback by the reversal, I thought for a moment, "Um, I like to read a lot. Anything I can get my hands on, really, though lately I've gotten kind of obsessed with the fantasy genre."

"Fantasy, fantasy…like dragons and wizards?" He threw out some examples in hopes of being correct.

I nodded, "It's funny that dragons is the first thing you said because the series I'm reading is called A Song of Ice and Fire and one of the main characters actually has dragons."

"The name sounds familiar, maybe Raidō's mentioned it to me before. He's a total nerd for that kind of stuff." He laughed.

"Hey, if liking fantasy makes you a nerd then count me in." I elbowed him, "This series is amazing."

Genma gave me a playful look before lifting his watch, "Well, it was fun Sakura but I've got somewhere to be in thirty minutes. I'll drop you off and then—"

"It's fine." I interrupted, waving my hands, "I know how to get home from here."

"Heh." He shook his head in disbelief, "Sakura, what kind of man would I be if I let my girlfriend walk home instead of driving her?"

"G-Girlfriend?" I stumbled over the title, "Are you—I mean, am I really—?"

"It was all over the school." He smiled as he slipped an arm around my waist, "Isn't that why you came up to me this morning? To make things official?"

I nodded, "But…I'm sure you've heard the other rumors about me. I didn't think you'd—"

"Sakura, people talk no matter what." He assured me, walking us out of the arcade, "When I first started high school, everyone assumed I was a hoodlum because of this toothpick in my mouth, but the truth is that I can't sit still without doing something, and chewing on this helps with that."

"Oh." I looked at him thoughtfully, "I'm glad you told me; when I first saw you, I did think you were a delinquent."

He raised a hand before grinning, "See? My point is, I judge people based on how they act around me, not by word of mouth."

Genma was everything a girl could dream of and more. We went on two more dates after that before finals week came up, and around then Genma apologized in advance for how unavailable he'd be due to studying. I understood that the need to graduate overruled any relationship commitments he had and told him that I would be waiting patiently until he was free. However, he must have felt bad because the day after his first final, he called me up and asked me if I was free to go to the movies.

Of course, I said yes and thirty minutes later, I heard the honk of his car outside of my house. Yelling to my parents that I'd be going to the movies, I grabbed a small purse and pulled on some sandals before meeting him outside.

"Hey." Genma greeted me with a grin before sitting back in his seat, "Anything to report?"

I shook my head before raising an eyebrow, "I should be asking you that. Did you pass your final? Or is this supposed to be a distraction date so you don't have to think about your bad grade?"

He pulled out onto the road, "As if. I finished that test so quick, the teacher thought I was a cheetah."

It took me a moment to understand what he'd said, but once I recognized the joke, I rolled my eyes in disgust, "Ugh, you did not just say that. Kami, you're like my dad."

"Then your dad must be one funny guy." Genma laughed heartily, "Wanna hear another one?"

"Please, no." I begged.

"A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink, but the bartender won't give it to him. Why?"

"Genma-senpai—"

"Come on, Sakura." He nudged me, his lips twitching in amusement, "Humor me."

Rolling my eyes once more, I decided to play along, "Because he…doesn't have any bread?"

"No, because they don't serve food there." Genma cracked up.

With a loud sigh, I turned to face the window, "Where do you even get these jokes from?"

"I've got more where that came from, baby." He laughed as we came to a stop at a red light, "What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered!"

The ride to the movie theater was filled with even worse jokes, and when we finally arrived, as Genma parked the car, I turned to him.

"Okay, I take it back." I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped out of the car, "You're not like my dad. You're worse."

Locking the doors, Genma came around and pulled me into a hug before starting us off in the direction of the entrance, "I'll take that as a compliment."

Shaking my head, I leaned against him and we went into the movies. We ended up watching an action comedy called Secret Party, and it was pretty good. After the film was over, Genma excused himself to the bathroom and I decided to wait outside by the popcorn stand. As luck would have it, I happened to look up from my feet just as Naruto, Sasuke, and Itachi walked in.

I tried to turn the corner before any of them could spot me, but when I heard Sasuke call my name, I hung my head and accepted that I had been too slow. With a hard swallow, I turned around and came face to face with a beat-up Sasuke, and while we hadn't spoken in months, I couldn't stop myself from inquiring about his bruises.

"It's nothing serious." He assured me, "Naruto and I were messing around and we both took it too far."

Nodding my head, I saw Genma coming out of the restroom and moved to leave, "Well, I'm glad that you're okay. Now, if you'll excuse me—"

"Sakura, wait." Sasuke stepped into my path, preventing me from leaving, "I just need a moment of your time."

"I'm on a date, Sasuke-kun." I informed him, "I can't just—"

"I love you, Sakura." He abruptly cut in, his onyx eyes staring into my own, "I love you."

I was stunned for a few seconds, but after recalling how he had unexpectedly ended our friendship a few months ago, I shook my head, "Even as a joke, this is too far."

"I'm not kidding." He assured me, taking my hand in his.

I had dreamed of hearing those three words from him many times in the past, and deep down, I still had that dream, but seeing Genma approach us out of the corner of my eye reminded me of the relationship I was in, what I had committed myself to, and I shook my hand free.

"I have to go." I told him as I finally moved past him and went to Genma's side, "Did you blow dry your hands or air dry them?"

"Blow dry, of course." He grinned before throwing an arm around my shoulders and glancing at Sasuke, "Everything alright?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah yeah!" I forced a laugh and waved my hand, "Sasuke-kun was just explaining to me how he got so beat up."

"Ooo, you look terrible." Genma winced sympathetically, "Feel better, Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded, "Arigato…"

Not wanting things to get anymore awkward, I turned Genma around and forced us towards the doors before starting a discussion about the movie and our favorite parts. Genma's retelling of the film was nowhere near accurate, and I did my best to focus on his terrible storytelling rather than dwell on the confession I'd received from Sasuke, but once I was home and in my bed, it came rushing to me like a runaway train.

For the longest time, I shut it out, and prioritized school and my boyfriend over those accursed three words, but it was no use. No matter what I tried to tell myself, it was clear that I still had feelings for Sasuke, and I couldn't continue to be in a relationship with Genma when I knew this to be true.

Unfortunately, I'd come to terms with my emotions the day before senior graduation, and while I didn't want Genma to heartbroken when he walked across that stage, his talks of the future, of our future made me realize that waiting any longer would make things worse.

"Long distance is gonna tough, but I'll try to write you letters every week for as long as I can—"

"Genma-senpai…"

"—And it shouldn't be too hard. The only problem I can think of is that the letters might be a little short around test weeks, but other than that, I'll keep in contact."

"Genma-senpai—"

"You better write to me too. Kami, I had a joke in my head just now, but I forgot it. I'll remember it in a sec, just let me—"

I covered his hand with my mouth and lifted his eyes up to mine, "Genma-senpai, I…I can't."

"What do you mean?" He questioned as I let him go, his eyebrows furrowing together, "Are you that lazy?"

"I don't mean the letters." I clarified with a shake of my head, "I can't…be with you anymore. I'm…gomen."

He was silent for a moment, and I watched his face morph through a series of expressions before settling on confusion, "Why? Is it because I'm going to college? Sakura, nothing's gonna change between us, we'll still—"

"It's not that." I told him, biting my lip, "I…oh Kami, I'm in love with someone else."

I turned away as I finished my admission and he sighed, "Let me guess, it's Sasuke."

"H-How did you—?"

"Sakura, I heard the rumors. Yeah, I said I wouldn't judge you off of them, but that doesn't mean I just forgot." He shut his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck, "Besides, I saw how he was looking at you in the movie theater. How you were looking at him."

I said nothing and dropped my gaze down to my hands.

"So," Genma sighed again, "How long have you been seeing him? Since that night or…?"

Once I understood his question, I swiftly refuted the misconception, "No, we're not—I didn't…I would never cheat on you, Genma-senpai. But I just couldn't pretend anymore."

"Pretend, huh." He murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Well, at least you told me now instead of later, ne?"

My heart tightened at the pain in his voice and I reached out to him, "Genma-senpai, I—"

"It's fine." He held up a hand, stopping me from coming any closer, "Just…do what makes you happy, Sakura."

While I had managed to come clean to Genma, seeing how hurt he was by my somewhat selfish decision, I made it a point not to throw it in his face by immediately running to Sasuke. No, I waited for school to close, and at the end of the last day, I slipped a note into Sasuke's locker telling him to meet me in Senju Park in a week.

When the day finally came, I found Sasuke by the main entrance most people used, and from far away, I was a bit surprised to see how nervous he was.

"Sakura, hey. How have you—"

Pressing a finger to his lips, I grabbed his hand and dragged him deeper into the park, "Come on, I want to show you something."

"…Sakura-san? Sakura-san, can you hear me?"

'Huh?' I thought to myself as my vision slowly cleared from the hazy state it was in.

As I blinked, a grey-haired man with round glasses leaned into view right over me and his mouth slightly fell open.

"Sir, she's…she's awake but—"

"She's awake?" A raspy voice interrupted, and I heard a rolling chair come closer as the owner of said voice presumably approached me, "Hello, Sakura-san? How are you feel—oh. Oh dear…it looks like we have a problem."

---

A/N: Last chapter, someone asked what yūgen means and the best way I can describe it is like a sad version of enlightenment. So, when you're enlightened you're freed from humanity's base desires and achieve a higher consciousness that allows you to become one with the universe whereas yūgen describes how you're aware of the universe's endlessness and how countless people must be suffering everyday and you find it sad yet beautiful.

Hey guys! Disappeared for a month on ya, but it wasn't on purpose. I was actually in a car accident three weeks ago and seriously injured my spine. I was resting in the hospital for a bit but a week ago they released me! Just happy to be alive, y'know? It's funny, when I first woke up in there, I was thinking about you guys and how sad it would be if I never finished my story. Uhh, I won't say anymore right now but just know that I'm back! (‿◠)✌

Now, what did you think of this long ass chapter? I wanted to split it into two but, ugh I can't say anything else. Just let me know if you have any questions. (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ