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Chapter 6:

Bella

Ariella had gone, I knew she would come back. It was unsettling the feeling of just how much I would miss her even if she would not be far. She had been my rock in the time I had needed someone the most. My own mother falling further and further away. Do not misunderstand, I loved my mother, but she had always been more of my best friend, and now, I could barely call her friend. The email updates less and less, from both parts of course. And even less we spoke on the phone. I felt as Ariella had been with me at my worst and seen my worst, she knew me at a deeper ground. Neither had she needed me to care for her, as long as she could care for me.

Maybe I was selfish, accepting all I could get from my cousin, the love and care she had showered me with. Even if she now had found her mate, she still promised to only be a text away gifting me my own cellphone in the process (the other one lost when I was thrown in the sea).

The return from Volterra had given me plenty to think about regards to my future, more so now than ever. I would become immortal, no doubt about it. But I could choose when. In one way I did not want to wait much longer, because it was what I had wanted for so long. However, I had to think of what I was giving up and what I was gaining. Thanks to Ariella I knew I would be able to keep somewhat in touch with my parents, but could I take myself out of their lives right now with the newborn phase? No. I would have to wait at least until after graduation. Then I would have an excuse to be going away.

When it came to children, I had no fantasies about them for my future. I had been the caretaker most of my life when it came to my mother in so many ways, that the idea itself had never crossed my mind. Had Edward been human and we could have had the option I still wouldn't rush to start a family. He would be enough. Being my everything fulfilled so much, that apart from the strain on our relationship as it stood now, I could not imagine anything else. It did not stop the pull towards him though, it was stronger than ever.

Ariella had a point, I had to speak up. It did not help being soulmates if one part was trying to control any outcome because of difference in faith and the very existence one led. The hole in my chest threatened to tear open everyday when Edward was not with me, and I could see he regretted his decision to leave in the first place. We could not live in the past. I needed to know I had him always. No matter my decision. It would be a tough existence if he decided not to accept me as immortal.

I tried not to pace, although glad my father was not home. I knew that thinking too much ahead would do no good, but yet my mind kept wandering into the same pattern. Frustrated I rushed up, stumbling on the way (clumsiness one thing I would certainly not miss), and I pushed open the door to my bedroom.

Edward was laying on my bed and startled me.

"You're here," I breathed.

He barely tilted his head. "You rather I was not?" His smile was careful.

"Don't be silly, I just thought you would come back much later?"

He shook his head.

I crawled close to his side. His usual paleness and golden eyes back now that my cousin had put quite the distance between the rest. I let my head rest on his chest and felt his arms shift so he could better hold me. I sighed, content. It was as if nothing mattered when he was with me. As long as we were together, all was well.

"You do know we need to talk, right?" I had let it out and had no way of taking it back.

He shifted, I moved and rested on my elbow so I could meet his eyes. He sat up further and his eyes seemed to carry such a sad shine.

"I'm not sending you away," I added and it seemed to help him relax a bit again. He was still alert.

"Then what do you want to talk about?" he asked carefully.

"About us, Edward."

"I'm not sure I follow."

I could see why my cousin most of the time had thought boys dense. I started to feel impatient. He had for such a long time been stuck in his ways, and yes, he was more mature than most, but he was still young – and never had been in a relationship before me, then it wasn't strange. I was young too, but raised in different times. I knew some of my own issues regarding us was the way I saw myself. And even if Ariella had worked up my confidence a little, it still wasn't her level. He had never said I wasn't his equal, but I had seen myself as less. The realization made me rethink several things. Nevertheless, thinking what if I had stood my ground on some parts, would never really help either. I could only move forward. Hopefully I wouldn't be moving alone.

"I have forgiven you Edward, I did that as soon as I was back in your arms. But that doesn't mean I don't have anything to say." I breathed out again. I wasn't entirely sure how to phrase myself. "We're soulmates, no matter what you believe, our souls belong to each other. I felt pain I could never describe when you were away, and every time we are apart now, that reminder flares up. What I do know is that we're two people in this relationship if you're still interested in having one." I held up a hand when he seemed he wanted to interrupt. "It means you can't make rules, we need to compromise. I have needs as I am sure you do." I tried to ignore my own blush. "We need to figure out how we can deepen this relationship and explore possibilities while I still remain a human. Because you are aware I will become a vampire. No matter what. It has also been what I have wanted, though I'm not going to rush into it and change tomorrow." I shook my head with a small smile. "If what you love is my human-side we will have a problem. Although I do not believe that's it. I think that you believe I will damn my soul, though I assure you, if I want to damn it, then that's up to me." I was starting to wonder how much I could bring up as his form was completely still. When I paused, he blinked and shifted on the bed again.

"You think I only love you because you're human?"

"No, that's not how I said it. And if that's all you got from all I said then you really need to leave and come back later after thinking over what I said."

He moved so he could wrap his arms around me and I let him while he spoke, "I will always love you. And I heard every word."

"Communication hasn't been my strongest skill I know, but there have been times that because I'm human your overprotectiveness has overruled, and I will not tolerate that anymore."

"Even if you think rashly?" he muttered against my hair.

"Then you may let me have some thinking time before we talk again about whichever subject that I might have been thinking rashly."

He released me again, his eyes darker than they had been.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for," I said, Ariella's words ringing through my head.

"I don't like the risk."

"I don't think you would hurt me. I don't think you physically can." I moved closer and rest a palm against his heart. There was no beat, not that I expected one, but the symbol was still there. "We're meant to be together, Edward. Forever is a long time, and I suggest you start thinking about how you want our bond to be."

I left him on the bed and headed for the bathroom. I needed a long and warm shower.

Ariella

Carlisle was hunting again and I stretched my naked limbs between the torn sleeping bags. The control to not destroy everything in our path was getting there, but everything was still raw and the instincts to continue mating and creating a stronger bond, still held strong. This was our second tent, that so far only had a little tear in one of the sides. Progress. It's not like I could sleep, my powers weren't that awesome, but I closed my eyes and had my senses open so I could listen for his return. Everything was so clear and I could hear the smallest of drops falling. The buzz of sounds relaxing me even more. I could hear it when he returned and did not open my eyes even when he opened the tent and climbed in. His scent, now mixed with mine, clouding my senses.

I barely opened my eyes and met his, before his lips were upon mine. Within no time he was naked again and joined with me in the frenzy of instincts and our mating bond, although the haze itself had calmed a bit and I felt more present than I had been for a while. The feelings and passion and not to forget lust was still overpowering, but it felt like we were more in control at last. The love I felt for him the strongest power of it all.

Perks to being a vampire was certainly the need not to rest, but I enjoyed the times we paused and just held each other. The throbbing feeling between my legs after my last orgasm begged for more. I moaned against his chest and moved. I knew he would give me what I wanted and I lifted my left leg so he could position against my entrance. In the matter of seconds I felt him enter me, the orgasm came so fast I gasped as I held onto him. Then he started to move and I was lost again in the pleasure of every movement.

I had no sense of time as I ran through the woods. Carlisle was chasing me and I laughed, exhilarated. I wanted him to catch me, but I also enjoyed the thrill from the thoughts of when he would. I kept dodging him and his growls sent shivers through me and I felt the folds between my thighs get wetter. All he needed was a moment of distraction and he knew it. As he growled again and pounced, I had miscalculated our distance while thinking over what was to come and he caught me. I hissed as he collided with me and we rolled over the forest floor, clothes ripping in the process. I landed on top of him and considered taking off again, but he knew my train of thoughts and quickly pinned me.

How many days had passed, I wondered when I finally looked at my phone, inside our third tent. We had reached April. So only a few weeks then. I had hunted with Carlisle just earlier this day, and I knew we would soon return. I had no texts or missed calls and let my thoughts wander to what Bella was doing. How she was doing and how her relationship had been developing.

"It's a good thing I didn't plan to start at the hospital again," Carlisle muttered against my skin.

"Mmm," I responded and let go of the phone, I then turned in his arms and stared into his eyes. "I couldn't imagine parting from you. Not even for a few hours." The thought actually made me cringe.

"It will get easier with time," he responded and kissed me. The kiss was lighter, but still filled with passion and I felt myself get lost again. He stopped and chuckled. "Or so I've heard. We need to stop or we won't be leaving this place yet, and to be honest, it will be nice to have a solid roof above us."

Now that the haze had calmed, I knew what he meant. A warm bath or even a shower would feel like a luxury. "As long as you'll join me in the shower when we get back," I muttered and let my lips press against his again.

"As if you could stop me." He pulled away then and used his speed to get a little distance.

"Tease," I muttered and I followed out and dressed too, before I helped him put away the few things we had left that were still intact. We had to join the world again.

I stopped him halfway back though and just let myself rest in his arms. Now that my head felt clearer, I was a bit nervous. Living with his family would be different from my family in Volterra, and then I hadn't been mated. Although his coven was now mine too, just as mine was his. I rested my head back against him and felt his chin rest atop of my head. Just holding me. I felt content. More so than I had even through the haze. Now the binding truly shone through. I loved Carlisle with my whole being. The mere thought of being without him unbearable, to the point of painful. His pain would be mine, as mine would be his.

We reached the house at twilight. Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, and even Edward waiting. My shield wanted to reach out and let it engulf the whole family. I slowly let it.

"Ah, there you are," Alice said as her eyes briefly glazed over.

"Welcome back," Rosalie said, her smile filled with warmth, while her eyes changed color.

None dared to come too close though, awaiting our reaction. I shared a look with Carlisle and he nodded. I hugged Alice and Rose first, while my mate went in to hug the males in the family. He moved to hug Rose and I moved to hug Emmett and heard a rumbling noise. "It's alright," I said softly. "He won't hurt me," I then said and rested my arms loosely around the large male.

Emmett laughed as I stepped back. "I never thought I would see the day!" he boomed. "Quite territorial, hm?"

I had been told from Marcus a long time past that the males were the ones to look out for in a newly mated couple. Their strong instinct to protect their mate against all – especially other males – no matter how absurd it might seem. Even Carlisle would not be immune. It was easier for the females in that way. We also wanted to protect our mates if the occasion arose, but we did not feel threatened by other females towards our mates in the same way as the males did towards each other. It was a bit different again where mated pairs were both male or both females, the reactions different according to the couple.

I met Jasper's unsure look but I hugged him as I had Emmett, while Carlisle hugged Alice, feeling the influence of his power as he helped calm my mate down. I moved on to Edward, I barely knew him but still hugged him as he was important in the family and to my cousin. He was careful to move, and he released me quicker than the others.

"What did you hear?" I asked, amused, as I stepped backwards and felt arms around me.

"That he was on the brink of losing control, Jasper confirmed it." He did sound a bit amused.

"I remember our first year, Rose," Emmett said wistfully.

She smacked him up against the back of his head and rolled her eyes.

Jasper grinned and winked towards Alice whom in turn giggled.

I was glad they understood. I looked at Edward again, and I wondered how he did it, staying so in control with my cousin. Maybe it did help that she was his singer. But the amount of control he had; it was immense. I could only imagine that if he were with her while she was still human, that the bonds would be easier going into their immortal lives together.

"And my cousin?" I then asked, meeting his eyes.

"School night. Bella is studying."

"And you're not there," I observed aloud.

"Oh, he's going back later," Emmett teased.

I raised a brow.

"What Emmett means to say is that Edward had to work a bit for their relationship," Rosalie explained, her tone amused.

I could feel Carlisle shift behind me, also curious.

"The girl has spirit," Rosalie said proudly, as if she finally approved.

Alice shrugged and nodded her head towards Rose. "She surprised us too, who knew that all Bella had to do to get into Rose's good graces was to stand up to our brother." She laughed, delighted.

"It seems I have missed quite a bit."

"We both have," Carlisle said and proceeded to lead me to the living room. We sat down on the loveseat while the rest of the family joined us.

"Bella is fine," Alice reassured me before I could ask. "She's still doing great at school, actually she's a bit ahead, but would never dare say that aloud. Edward and I are also back. He's not back in Charlie's good books though, and does not want him to come over to the house. I think only you can smooth that part over," she explained.

"He needs to see that Bella won't be together with anyone else," I muttered.

"Precisely," Alice said with a bright smile. "Now, Carlisle, I think you should show Ariella your room. As you will be sharing, I took liberty to change it a bit and update the closet." She held her hands up. "Not fully of course, just a few things, until we can go shopping."

I grinned. Alice's energy was hard not to like. She seemed to be all over the place at once, but at the same time grounded because of her mate. Emmett and Rosalie were another interesting pair. I was truly looking forward to get to know them better. The little I had from Bella was not all the full stories. And I also knew at one point, I would have to share mine. I opened my mind up to Edward. I'm looking forward to knowing you better. We have years ahead of course, but as you're my cousin's mate, you should know I'm quite protective of her, especially after everything. I'm glad you both are figuring out of things. I closed my shield and if he was surprised, he never showed it.

"Now, this room I am to share with you?" I asked and stood, staring right at my mate. I felt the others disappear from the room before I said more. I laughed. Oh, there were interesting times ahead for sure.