Chapter 7:
Bella noticed that Edward had left when she came back out from the bathroom. A note on her pillow said he needed some time to himself. She sighed. It was only fair that he had time to think over her words, but it did not stop her mind from wandering. She knew they wouldn't leave, not with Ariella in the picture as well, nevertheless, the old fear of being abandoned crept up on her. The hole in her chest that had healed, now produced a ghost of a feeling.
She knew she had been rash in some of her decisions in the past, several of those decisions revolving around Edward and his family. She hadn't been before. The bond to a soulmate who was a vampire would do it, she assumed. Despite this, she knew part of it wasn't healthy.
It embarrassed her that her cousin had to talk her through it in the start as she came out of her shell again. The suffering out in the open. She wasn't as grown up as she had thought she had been, not that Ariella ever blamed her for the behavior. After all, she was supposed to be a teenager.
She found a soft blue bra her cousin had bought for her for sleeping. Ariella had suggested sleeping naked, but the thought still made her blush. In the time Edward had been away she had adjusted to bra and underwear, though upon his return, she had gone back to singlet and shorts. She shook her head. She wouldn't change again just for him. She had, if anything adapted more then what should have been needed. She was finding her own way now, and if it made her mate uncomfortable, well, he could wait out in the tree if anything.
Gnawing on her bottom lip, she thought about that again. She did not want him to not lay beside her though. He always kept her bad dreams away. His scent gave her comfort, and knowing he was near let her sleep peacefully. It made her feel safe. Although, she did not enjoy that he could watch her as she talked in her sleep. He never told her though if he had heard anything concerning some of her wet dreams, because there had been enough of those as well.
She closed the window properly and pulled the curtains. He would get the message if he returned.
Getting under the covers she let out a long breath. She had slept this long without him by her side, another night would not change anything. Embarrassment that she had once more been clinging to him as if he had been a lifeline went through her. She needed to get better control over herself. Even so, she knew that it would not change all at once, not when the ghosts of the past still haunted her enough.
The stress in her dream tore her awake as dawn broke, letting light in through the small gaps in her curtains. She held a hand over her heart and let it calm. She couldn't recall exactly what it had been about, all she knew was that it had stressed her enough to wake her. Her lips were dry as if she had had her mouth open for a while and she stood. Silently she made her way to Ariella's bedroom (the guest-room), there was still plenty of proof of her cousin being there, living there. She saw her cousin's two bathrobes hanging on the side of the closet and chose the one that still had the price-tag on – a darker shade of green – if she hadn't known better, she would have thought Alice had put her up, but she knew her cousin well, she liked to have options. Pulling it around her now more chilled body, she made her way down to the kitchen.
A bit of water trickled down the sides of her lips as she gulped it down. Filling the glass up again while wiping away, she once more wondered what was wrong with her brain. It just did not seem to fit in. Or as she more than once thought, she didn't really fit in with the world of regular humans. She snorted and closed the water stream. Bringing the water with her up, she then placed it on her desk by the computer. The monstrosity making her long for a laptop – that was not a priority to spend her money, and it was not as she used the old one much. She made her way over to her chair and the window and made a bigger gap in the curtains.
No longer tired she watched as the day started to get lighter and lighter. What time it was she could care less. The difference as she sat there was that she no longer sat to stare out at nothing as the darkness had taken over. No, she felt very much alive. Her eyes squinted a bit as she thought she saw movement amongst the trees. Was it red she had seen? Her heart picked up in speed and she stood to get a closer look. Blinking, everything seemed ok. No movement. She blinked again and then saw Alice come out of the trees, walking slowly.
Opening the window, she moved back as Alice let herself through. "I had a vision," she said, as if that would explain everything.
Bella hurried to hug her and she breathed in her familiar scent. "Thank you for coming," she whispered.
"Of course, I wouldn't leave you on your own when I knew you needed me," Alice responded, tone apologetic, and then took a step backwards. "You really gave my brother a few things to think about." She giggled then, trying not to wake the other sleeping human. Oh, if only Bella knew what she had started. It delighted Alice to see her brother confused, especially when she would not give anything away herself. No, the two of them had to figure out things from here on out for themselves and together.
Bella made a grimace.
"Last school day before the weekend again. Edward and I will return next week," Alice said as she turned towards Bella's closet.
Bella was for once comfortably dressed by Alice, and went through the day of school, minimalizing social interactions. She exchanged a few words with Angela, and of course sat with the usual group at lunch, but her mind was elsewhere. The distraction was enough that when the day was over, she barely noticed as she walked to her own car. The sun had decided to make a rare appearance and the warm rays made her stretch her neck a bit up and take in the warmth it gave. She shook her head with a smile and then blinked. Her gaze landed on the tree line further away from the parking lot and she wondered if she then imagined again the pale glimpse amongst the trees. The difference that this time the presence comforted her, it did not unsettle her.
Entering the empty home, she was glad that her father had a later shift and would be home late. It gave her time to herself. She opened up the windows in the house, airing out, as spring air filled the rooms. She did not need to clean much as Ariella had taken care of most of the chores up until she left, but there was always something to do. Closing the windows again she let her own stay a bit more open while she took the dust in her own room. She let the fresh feeling drive her onward until she tripped on her rug, and before she could faceplant she felt the comfort of Edward's hands on her waist. Keeping her from meeting the floor.
"Edward," she breathed as she was standing again, close to him at that.
"Bella," he responded.
His eyes seemed to search hers and she wondered what he was looking for. His eyes so light and golden that she knew he had hunted. She let her right-hand rest against his left cheek and let it fall down to his collarbone. Any sort of ghostly reminder had closed up again and she felt as if mostly everything was right. She let her arms embrace him and she rested her head against his harder form. If only she could show how much she truly loved him.
Edward lifted up Bella's chin and let his lips carefully meet hers. The feelings in him an exploding motion that urged his instincts as a vampire. He could smell her and the way of her actions only proved how much she wanted him as he wanted her. Yet he was wired a bit differently. He had had time to adapt, but it wasn't easy when his former beliefs still stood greatly, an ever-present reminder in his thoughts. Changing all in the matter of hours would not work and he was sure that his mate knew the same. That they would have to find a different path together forward was a comfort. He could not let himself over to his instincts, not fully as long as she was human, and slowly he broke off the kiss. Bella stared at him, flustered, a bit frustrated, and it made him grin.
"You can't just-" Whatever she was about to say was interrupted by a short kiss to her lips. "Edward!" she complained, but she had softened.
"You wanted to talk yesterday, now it's my turn," he said.
"Give me a moment then," she responded and went to close the window. The duster on the floor and the wet microfiber cloth she put by the door so she would not forget about them. She had pretty much been finished after all. She turned then and sat on the side of the bed as he came to sit beside her.
"Bella, I know that you want more in the physical way in our relationship, and believe me, I would like that too. But I'm raised differently, I am from a different time, and changing my ways isn't going to happen over the night. Then there is the matter of my instincts as a vampire… That has a part too." He gazed towards the window for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "It's hard to control ourselves when our instincts take over. And losing myself in pleasure with you could very well be the ending of your life. It takes a lot of control to not let myself give in to my vampire side when we kiss, that's how much of a risk it is. That said, I have come a long way since I met you." He gave her half a smile, noticing she was mulling over his words.
"I'm still your soulmate Edward, I don't think even your true vampire would kill me even if you can, because of the fact that we are mates. I know that this probably won't go through your head yet, and I wasn't saying let's have sex right now." She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head a bit.
"You do know I-"
"Shh," she held up a hand over his lips. "I just want us to be able to explore things a bit differently. I'm not saying I'm going to jump you at every chance I get." She laughed then and tried to not think about the start of their time together. She still didn't have control over her hormones though. He grinned towards her in turn. "And I know you are from a different time, but so am I, and I am not the girl to wait until marriage to have anything else than make-out sessions. If anything let's see what we're both comfortable with, and if it gets to be too much, we talk about it. I don't want any secrets. Which brings me to something else." She sighed then. "You can't make decisions and withhold information thinking it is for the best or wanting to spare my feelings. I want to be included and I want it to be open. No matter what." She stood and stretched then met his eyes again. She would not make the next move. That was all on him.
He stood as well and then pulled her close. He knew he didn't want to lose her, not again, when he had thought he nearly had. He would do practically anything to keep her. He could feel his inner teen excitedly react to the prospect of being more with his girlfriend, while his vampire part rejoiced in the knowing that he would get closer to his mate. "Yes," he muttered into her hair. "We'll figure out of this together, Bella. I promise I will try my best to be worthy of you and I will be honest with you."
Bella noticed his green eyes first, when he entered her room. Even the night before when he had returned, they had been so striking she hadn't been able to look away until she fell asleep. He had beautiful eyes no matter which color they held, but it truly did make him seem more human. Of course it meant that her cousin was back in the Cullen mansion, and she was happy that her cousin was so close again. She let herself enjoy his warmer temperature and as his lips moved against hers, she felt herself thinking back on the weeks with a bit more progress. It took no time before she could feel the heat build up between her legs and she suddenly found herself on the bed. A rumbling noise came from Edward as he pressed against her and she moaned from the contact, pleasure building.
She was flushed and let him undress her top and then marveled as he took off his t-shirt. The sight nearly taking her breath away as it had every time. His chest against hers again she hummed as he let a hand wander over her and teased her by nearing the line of her underwear. She let her own hands wander and enjoyed the sounds she could pull from her mate. The shrill sound of a phone ringing broke through the room and they stilled. Eyes meeting they laughed as Edward rolled over to the side and reached for her phone. He handed it to her.
"Yes?" she asked, a bit breathless.
"Hello dearest cousin of mine," Ariella said from the other side of the line. "Would you and your mate bother to grace us all with your presence in…let's see… thirty minutes? Or am I interrupting something?" Her suggestive tone only made Bella imagine what her cousin could be imagining.
"We'll be there," Bella answered and hung up. She met Edward's eyes. "Do you think Alice…?"
"For once I don't believe so," he answered. "I will easily figure that out soon enough. Come on temptress, let's get going." He stood and pulled on his shirt, watching as she dressed.
"Let me grab something to eat before we go," Bella said and walked past him. She first stopped by the bathroom, changing her underwear, before going down. It shouldn't have been surprising that she tripped at the last step of the stairs, yet it didn't stop her to glare at the floor as her face were inches away from it. Edward holding around her.
"You know," he started, tone amused. "It is quite charming how you manage to trip on air." He chuckled and she swatted at him, not that it would affect him of course.
"At least you seem to be around enough to catch me," she mused and faked irritation, hiding her smile as she walked ahead.
Arms snuck around her and she felt herself lean against his chest. It was strange how the warmth he now had seemed to soften his skin as well. Not by much, but enough to make him more comfortable. More comfortable with her as well. She turned, wanting to kiss him again.
This time Edward's phone was ringing. "Alice," he said as he looked down at the caller ID. "We better get going soon." He stepped away, not answering, and sat down by the kitchen table.
Bella nodded. Turning again she found a snack and chewed it down quickly before downing a glass of water. Ready to go she squeaked when Edward lifted her up bridal-style. "What about my truck?" she asked.
"Today we run," Edward said, smiling wide. "I'll get you back before Charlie returns."
"You better," Bella responded and closed her eyes as Edward started running. It went fast, and it took a moment for her to realize that they had stopped. Opening her eyes she saw that they had arrived just outside the Cullens door.