This chapter is a product of collaboration between the author thestripybag and I.
Tags: Teemo, Fantasy, Crossover, Nightmare Fuel, OCs gone wild, The Dark Yordle.
"B6." Happily chirps the mad king of brimstone and chaos.
"P-p-please, my lord!" The crying emaciated man pitifully begged as his slave collar suddenly flares a sinister red, the poor prisoner's feet lazily carrying him forward as if having a will of their own. "Please spare me, oh Furry God! I have a wife and ten- No! Eleven kids!.. My wife is a bunny Vastayan, you see! I can't leave them alone!"
"And I shall take a good care of them when you are gone. Please, rest assured." Teemo happily replies as he mirthfully watches the poor Ionian slave drunkenly stumble across the giant scorched Battleship board, the sickly green glow of the countless radioactive mushrooms that are hanging from the ceiling casting a fluorescent green light against the crying, slouching silhouette of the doomed mortal man.
"Especially, your wife and daughters.." The smiling furry demon loudly giggles with his high-pitched laughter, the disturbing sound of the mad king's glee reverberating against the ancient black stone walls of his dreadful throne room. The once proud weapons of defeated League champions placed in rectangular glass displays all over the gargantuan throne room shining with an eerie light.
Priceless magical artifacts like Leona's shield, Ryze's scroll and Grave's Cigar of Infinite Puffs now decorating the dark yordle's sunless, wretched castle.
Teemo pouts when the sobbing Ionian man finally reaches the predetermined tile on the playing board without an explosion ringing in his big fluffy ears.
"Tsk." The very displeased Demon King huffs in immense disappointment as he pauses to take a bite out of his newborn Poro steak and then rinses his mouth with a sip of Meep tears. "Your turn, dear friend." He lowly growls in distaste.
"Thank you, my King." The sadistic Chain Warden hums excitably as he takes a look at the dirty, bloodstained Battleship board. Thresh offers a whiny trembling man an almost encouraging fleshless smile before he gestures at him to step forward.
"C2." The cruel specter finally commands after some careful consideration and the haggard enslaved Piltovian man unwillingly starts marching towards the called numbered tile. A terrifying explosion suddenly rocks the throne room as the scrawny man steps on an invisible mushroom and instantly perishes in a violent explosion of blood, gore and spilled entrails.
The malnourished Ionian slave on tile B6 abruptly screams in sheer terror and proceeds to wet himself as the head of the deceased Piltovian pawn slowly rolls towards the trembling man's bare feet. The unseen lifeless eyes of the deceased prisoner still bulged in both pain and fright, his face twisted in an expression of pure agony.
The rest of the collared slaves standing near the gore-splattered game board huddle closer together whilst muffling their cries with bleeding palms and scarred clenched fists alike.
"Damn you, Thresh!" Teemo suddenly screams in complete outrage with his obnoxious high-pitched voice spreading across the dimly lit chamber like an audible miasma. "Damn you!" The enraged infernal yordle angrily repeats while throwing away his golden platter with crispy Poro bits and hurling his silver goblet towards the despairing crowd of mourning and terrified prisoners.
"You just sank my submarine with one slave!" The wretched King of Hell yells from atop his elevated black throne like an irritating spoiled brat that's throwing a tantrum because it's mommy didn't buy it that expensive new toy the grinning man was showcasing in the hex-tv advertisements.
"You are cheating!" Teemo loudly whines as he points an accusing furry finger towards the cackling form of the devilish Chain Warden. "Your slaves are better mushroom seekers than my own! This isn't fair! I am the one that's supposed to win every time! I want a rematch! I want a rematch, right now!"
The man that is standing on the scorched B6 tile swallows, his wet beady eyes practically glued on the sinister visage of the undead torturer. The Ionian slave's heartbeat dancing inside his aching ribcage.
"But of course, my King…" The evil specter slowly condones Teemo's challenge with a small polite bow. Thresh's incorporeal orbs shining with barely concealed glee as the crafty malicious ghost calmly surveys a swarm of skimpy-clad concubines surrounding the vexed male yordle in an attempt to placate him. Showering the false king with sweet saccharine words, fake compliments and lustful displays of their love for the dark yordle.
"You there," The cruel specter suddenly addresses the relieved Ionian that is currently thanking his good luck for being pulled out of the sadistic death game. "Go clean the rest of the playing board." Thresh kindly orders and the poor man nods his head at once as the Ionian slave's eyes hastily search for a broom or a mop near the empty Battleship board…
Only for the man's initial relief to quickly disperse into immense horror when his collar abruptly flares a blinding sanguine and his feet start carrying him towards the center of the bloodstained playing board.
The poor man's desperate pleas for mercy are soon cut short by the sudden quaking of a second loud explosion.
"Oh, by the way, the guards have told me that Zilean has started rambling again in his cell." Thresh reports when Teemo finally decides to peel his lips away from those of Ahri. And Lux's… Janna's, Diana's, Leona's, Anivia's, Sona's, Swain's crow, Beatrice and surprisingly enough even Ezreal's because Teemo accidentally mistook him for a girl and the Dark Yordle's lust knows no bounds.
"I have no interest in the prophecies of that senile, old fool." Teemo arrogantly states while smirking against Fiora's lips. "I only keep him around to mock him about his age."
"I see.. but are you sure that this is wise, my king?" Thresh questions from his own seat across the gory Battleship board, the undead torturer's ghostly voice laced with a small amount of concern and reluctance. "Zilean was the one that prophesized your rise in power so many years ago after all, my lord. Ignoring the warnings of the Chronomage might be a bad idea."
"Silence, you fool!" Teemo angrily squeals with his trusty blowgun raised towards the ceiling as if it is some kind of an ornate royal scepter. "I command the demons of Hell, I have enslaved the entirety of Valoran and held the title of the cutest yordle in the world for nearly a whole decade! THERE IS NOBODY that can threaten my iron rule! My lecherous harem! My army of robots, devils and mushroom-addicted magical wenches!"
Teemo grins like the madman he is as he stares at the skeletal visage of his loyal backstabbing advisor with big crazy eyes.
"I… AM. A. GOD!" The cuddly tyrant of Valoran finishes, his furry face beaming with maniacal joy.
"Yes, you are." Ahri seductively purrs on top of Teemo's lap, the concubine's smile as utterly sincere and unnerving as the black-hearted yordle's. The other mushroom addicted women splayed near the tall black throne giggle or nod in agreement and Teemo instantly starts cackling with his high-pitched voice stretching under the light of the green radioactive mushrooms. Both fluffy fist held high in a majestic pose of victory.
"Yes, I am!" Teemo loudly laughs now completely out of his mind. "I truly am a God! Now bring me some wine and endangered species to consume, more wives to corrupt! Important philosophy books to burn and adorable puppies for me to kick away!" The evil glint in his eyes then brightens. "Somebody get me Jarvan from the dungeons, I want him to watch as I have my way with his former fiancée, Fiora! Bring me a camera too, my slaves! I want to eternalize the moment Jarvy's tears will flow down his bruised face! Oh, this will be grand! This will be beautiful!"
A sudden knock on the chamber's door makes Teemo pause, a dark seething frown quickly appearing on the scowling visage of the wicked yordle at this admittedly annoying interruption to his victorious cackling. Teemo sighs as he boredly gestures at one of his wives to answer the door, albeit a bit curious as to why the demons guarding the throne room aren't just announcing the name of his visitor.
"Go see who dares interrupt our regal orgy preparations, my dear Fiora." The mad king whines. "And if it is the delivery boy bringing me my mushroom only pizza tell him to join the next Battleship queue tomorrow morning."
Fiora nods with an intoxicated smile on her lips and then disappears behind the humongous double doors of the macabre throne room. An irritated female voice soon leaking from behind the half-open doors and into the depressing, bloodstained chamber a few moments later.
"I should have guessed that bitch Teemo can't even answer his own door without help." The new voice drawls. "Some king he is, just sitting his fat ass all day on his little throne."
0000
The years as of late have not been kind to the Chronokeeper as a prisoner of Teemo. His once majestic robes are now but soiled tatters with his once majestic beard hand torn off in an attempt to make himself look younger to avoid the mad god's teasing. But a few hours ago while blindly staring into the multiverse to see if there was anything to keep him from staining the walls in his blood from banging his head against the black stone the old man began to cry. These were not the same tears as all who have entered this castle, but of a forgotten emotion called joy. He chooses to speak when the guards close in on his cell to see why he is smiling.
"A demon covered in flowers from a land far away will bring a foe. They will fight with the power of stars as her weapon. The gates will fall after the gatekeeper is fell by his own hands. The blood of the queen will destroy her army with her false pride. All that is left is for king nothing to lose everything. The end will be signaled by the sound of rapid knocks."
0000
On a cliff surrounded by twisted buildings and above a sea of flames we see a green portal. In a single file line that seems to have no end are the souls of the damned. Despite the cliff being thin enough for only one person gargoyles with wicked spears still line the spires around it. If that wasn't enough to stop any rogue souls from running then the massive Gatekeeper named Galio abolishes such thoughts. However the Gatekeeper and all who have aligned with his master are in for a bizarre threat that while prophesied none of them were willing to listen. The being who is bringing such a threat is a succubus named Pensea. She is wearing a crop top that has a deep blue hawaiian design as well as cuts in the back for her leathery wing and a white long skirt with a slit running up the side which is also practical for her tail. The shapely demon is holding what appears to be a elongated, ruby briefcase that has a microphone on one end and a blue star on the other. As she prepares to walk into the portal that leads into the abyss of fire below a large hand cuts her off.
"Hold it right there! I've never seen you before so I can only assume you're from another plane of hell." Galio states with an arrogant smirk "But if you let me check out what's under that top and skirt I can be reassured you aren't here to cause harm."
The foolish gatekeeper with his shrugged shoulders and smug grin fails to see the stale face aimed at him. Pensea however is able to see the type of corruption that Teemo has spread throughout this plane of hell and why her love would like to teach him a lesson. As her briefcase starts to shudder she throws it high into the air and it starts to wring itself of a putty material. Said putty forms a feminine figure that is wearing a long hoodie that has a constant flow of infinite colors to match its wearer's personality. No matter how hard Galio tries to catch a glimpse of the hooded stranger's face her star shaped sunglasses and mask that look similar to subwoofer speakers always obscure his view. Even without said aesthetics it would be pointless since her hood has an aura to hide her appearance. As she begins to stretch it doesn't take a genius to realize this is the main character of this story who is known mostly by her title of Eccentric has arrived! With her stretches done the briefcase has thinned out into her staff Starpower. As it slides into place on her back all of the light in the valley seems to attract to her and form a spotlight. Before she can utter the first line of her first chapter ever a large fist slams her into the ground.
"Oh man," Pensea breathes out as she looks up at Galio. "You just want to die today."
Eccentric (Showtimey accent) - (On Galio's shoulder) "She has a point you know. I mean you harassed one of my girls, serve that asshat Teemo, and you ruin my introduction to the readers! (Cross-popping veins appear) I mean look at these! Ohohohoho! But lucky enough for me I needed to test out if this place has D4C rules. (Eccentric stops time) By the way readers if you don't know what I mean then allow me to explain. To sum it up if two of the same object from parallel worlds get too close to each other they will cancel each other out violently. I know it's a Jojo reference, but it's actually a pretty relevant one considering some of the things I do."
With time restarting Galio attempts to crush the gnat on his shoulder again but she simply reappears on the opposite shoulder.
Eccentric- "You aren't that bright if you repeated the same thing again or you're going for the definition of insanity. Either way you are a rude person who needs to be put in his place!"
During a match on Summoner's Rift Galio just got a kill but is low on health and the three caster minions in front of him while low just need a couple more hits on the weakened colossus. With a mighty leap he comes down with his Colossal Smash but while his passive goes on cooldown nothing happens. All that goes through the now dead golem's mind is what happened and the sounds of his team going afk. Unbeknownst to him a portal had opened where his fists were going to land. Said portal was connected to another one right above his Gatekeeper persona's head. With the now unconscious demon falling into the pits below our hooded entertainer leaps off of him but not before tearing off some of his beard hairs. The subordinate gargoyles are quick to snap out of their shock and attack the intruding duo.
Knowing she'll be a bit busy with her plans to keep anyone from following the two, Eccentric opens her hood. From the void burst forth several copies of the spicy wizard for you see inside of her hood is a pocket dimension that takes the form of a television studio though that was after she changed it from its previous theatre form with the changing times. With one tanking a volley of spears and arrows for one of her lovers Pensea, Eccentric is able to work on her plan which begins with her flying in circles around the portal. As a squadron of gargoyles attempts to stop her they are immediately downed. The leader falls screaming as his body is covered in flames and is being bitten by flaming ants. His wingman runs into a large bubble of gum that was blown his way which has completely encased him. Their medic attempts to free him but is attacked by an abomination straight out of Eccentric's imagination. It is called a Flicka Flacka due to the shock it's victims experience upon seeing the massive alligator with its insect carapace, magical leaches between its teeth that transforms its victims blood to random liquids, and human flesh that cover its eyes.
As for the last member fuck him for being a rookie he gets transformed into a pile of sentient Poro snacks which are soon being devoured since the gum cocoon has hatched and released a swarm of demon Poros. With her trap in place Eccentric grabs her succubus and fires a tendril at the portal which one of her people's trademark maneuvers. This move is called Coercion and all hooded know it since the first of their kind learned it. The tendril pulls them through the portal and when the rest of the gargoyles try to follow they are sliced apart. While her clones distracted the guards the spicy hooded converted the hair she stole from Galio into a fine wire.
Past the portal the two lovers find themselves in a glass elevator that is descending towards a plain that has begun to swarm with demonic knights from the castle that sits on the nearby hilltop. However these shroom knights are actually the creations of Viktor who has arrived with his queen Syndra to stop any fool who thinks they can threaten their god who helped them conquer the world. While most would be terrified to see such powerful foes Eccentric amidst her excitement has pressed her face against the glass and her dark aura that kept her identity a secret has fallen to reveal a short mess of white hair plus her eyes have begun to glow their natural purple. Wondering what's going on in her soulmate's mind Pensea begins to gentle shake her.
"Eccentric? Eccentric? Alexandria?"
"That's my baby or at least my blood descendent. I mean the other hooded are my family for sure but there is a relative of mine. Ohohohoho! I hope she is using that potential she got from me. *sigh* I feel like the world misses my fun attitude since I passed. I mean sure I could have used lots of different schools of magic to extend my life since I learned them all. But (Grabs her coat tail) my kind is meant to pass on this hood so the next generation can fight its own battles it's way. Hmph I wish we could have gotten me my own solo chapter focused on my story but this will have to do. Seriously what was my writing department doing during this line."
We see rows of typewriters but the monkeys that are supposed to be using them are currently assaulting their handlers.
Eccentric- "Yeah that sounds about right Stripy and Drawing. Payback for making me say those shit puns and for making this mess that I have to clean up."
"Love why are we here again? I don't want to die and I don't want your soul to risk being lost here."
Eccentric- "We are here because you told me about how a tyrant has been forcing together a harem and you know that ticks me off to no end. Plus I'm the main character of this story and if I'm not able to have my harem no one is!"
As the doors open Eccentric pulls Pensea into her hood for safe keeping. Viktor and Syndra are brought forth on a palanquin to meet the rebel soul. Syndra immediately begins to admire the stranger's good looks.
Eccentric- (Throws her arms up) "Wait before you kill me please hear me out. The name people know me by is my hooded title Eccentric. I got this name when my predecessor passed away and I have done all I can to bring fun, uniqueness, and magic to the world. (Points to Syndra) You are a direct descendent of me and have inherited my gift. (Cheshire smile) I would like to know what you have accomplished with said power."
Syndra- "Whether this is true or not I will gladly grace your final moments with a display of my might."
The sovereign summons her three spheres and summons another Dark sphere to shatter a rock not too far from her. With her sheer Force of Will she picks up the remains of the rock and when it is released into the air it has been crushed into the shape of the colorful madwoman in front of her. She summons more spheres which when pushed by her Scatter the Weak break off the statue's limbs. The dark witch calls all of her spheres to her side before her Unleashed Power pummels the remains to dust. After her display is finished her lover Viktor hits a few buttons on his wrist and the shroom knights begin to clap. The only person who isn't pleased with her display is the only person it should have impressed.
Eccentric- (Eye is twitching) "That's it? That's all you can do?! Are you for fucking real?! I basically give you unlimited potential and the ability to learn at incomprehensible rates to the point that you learn all there is in a school of magic just from the most basic spell but you fucked up with that! (Starts to angrily hyperventilate) I hope the timeline I come from you aren't such a fucking disappointment. Now it's my turn but I will show you one attack. (Her shadow aura returns) Behold the ultimate non-natural natural disaster! (Pulls out Starpower) Tsufiranasnekicane!"
As the last word leaves her mouth a freezing wind begins to blow and a hurricane forms above head. With one last look of disappointment and hate Eccentric summons a nimbus cloud made of steel underneath her to carry her to safety. After rising high into the air out of seemingly nowhere a tsunami of boiling oil races across the field. Once it has formed the clouds above not only begin to rain flames to ignite the wave but also an assortment of venomous snakes that are fireproofed for obvious reasons. While horrific damage is dealt to those below on her nimbus that is riding the massive wave the fifteenth hooded simply ignores it and looks at the castle where her next prop lives.
The castle that is now an island surrounded by suffering has its invader land a few dozen meters away from its front door. While at first carrying a visage of hate it quickly turns to sickness when Eccentric takes a whiff of the only food she can't stand or eat. From a portal she summons a preseason seven red ward which reveals invisible mushrooms all over the front lawn. Thankfully this is a variation of the ward before it was nerfed and she is able to simply sprint to the front door. When she reaches it she begins to rapidly knock on it so she can get away from the hell-food scattered around her. A minute later a woman with a streak of pink in her black hair and what could barely pass for lingerie meekly answers the door.
"My lord would prefer if you came back later." Fiora starts saying until realization suddenly dawn on her. "Wait you are not the pizza…"
Before the former duelist can finish her sentence a palm is gently placed on her head. The hand then catches her before Fiora's now sleeping form falls. Pensea comes out of the hood and picks up the poor girl whose classic attire has begun to magically form on her body.
Eccentric- "Darling please take her back to her bedroom so she can think this was all just a terrible dream. I'll summon you when I'm ready to leave (Turns with eyes aglow) and I don't want you in the splash zone just in case. (Fist balls) I stole her memories of her past few years and I saw everything that she has endured. Ohohohoho I might not be able to control myself. (Pensea flies away) Thanks for the next line Drawing. I should have guessed that bitch Teemo can't even answer his own door without help! Some king he is just sitting his fat ass all day on his little throne!"
Deciding that she should get in a little exercise today our rebel walks into the throne room. While everyone else is wondering who the intruder is and why the green glow from the ceiling is casting a spotlight onto them as said intruder is currently about to open some of the glass displays. Before the colorful being can though a hook is wrapped around her neck as Thresh in an attempt to appease his equally fluffy and angry overlord uses his Death Sentence. With a leftover shroom from their game the Chain Warden tries to end the intruder's life by tugging her towards it. While the skeletal ghost would normally incite a feeling of terror in his victims by landing his hook instead of fear he only sees a purple aura developing around the trespasser.
Eccentric has begun to focus her personal energy which was first used by one of her predecessors to combat the undead. With her own twist added she channels her Stardust energy up the hook's chain like a charge of electricity. As Thresh learns what life as a lightning rod is like while also turning into a frog Leona and Diana both crawl a little closer as the aura feels familiar like an old friend's face in a distant dream. Our mad mage then begins to swing her head similar to a head banger which flings the lantern end of the chain high into the air bringing the frog spectre with it screaming in his new froggy tongue. On the downswing similar to a professional fisherman the lantern makes its way into the middle of the slaves cowering in the corner. As if channeling her inner Thresh main Eccentric shouts at them to grab the lantern before using a dozen of her copies to help her yank them to her side of the room. As the slaves begin to flee from the furry tyrant's castle she turns the newly established lake of burning oil into saltwater taffy. Speaking of new Eccentric decides to put her new amphibious friend inside of a familiar place which reveals itself to be the inside of his lantern. The lantern is then shot out of the window before it sinks to the bottom of the delicious lake.
Eccentric- (Pouting) "I wish I coulda carved that ghost up since ghost meat is so juicy and delicious. Darn I could've even gotten some ghost jerky to give Pensea but no I had to go and turn one of our harem mates into a ghost when she died. (Sees Diana and Leona staring) Ohhh I remember now why you two would feel my energy as familiar. It's because when one of my predecessors developed the technique for it the sun aspect from Targon helped her. Now that I've enlightened you both and the audience it's time (Points Starpower at Teemo) for me to dethrone you! Luckily Drawing gave Stripy the idea for me to make you suffer rather than kill you! Oh and do provide more entertainment than your lackeys did since this is the final act! Ohohohohoho!"
Teemo- (Leaps off his throne) "How DARE you mess with the lord of fire and brimstone you… you… you insignificant mortal rat?! I am going to force-feed you my poisonous mushrooms until you break like the rest of these wenches or you explode like all of my previous game pieces. Mwahahahahaha!"
Eccentric- "Hmm while that would be horrible due to how disgusting they taste and I get some bad stomach problems and dry heaving fits all I can say is that the best you can come up with? Ohohohohoho I think I would have gone with the, I'm gonna make it so you puke something horrible whenever you go near anything you like."
The battle begins with Teemo firing blow darts at the ceiling to force mushrooms to rain down. With a tap of her foot the lovely mage removes all gravity from the room. While Teemo is busy remembering his astronaut training Eccentric takes this time to Coercion tendril to the trophy cases before they hit the ceiling. After the writers give her Grave's cigar she begins to buff it rapidly until the entire room is covered in cigar smoke. As everyone is choking on the thick smokescreen a wind blows through the room and clears all of the smoke and negative effects from secondhand smoking from everyone, but the furry despot. The Swift Scout has regained his vision when he notices a stage has appeared in front of him and he is sent flying back into his throne where he is encased in a ball of bricks which the lord of hell starts to try and dig his way out of. As her copy band finishes its preparations the sounds of progressive rock start to fill the room and Eccentric begins to sing a parody of her favorite song.
Eccentric- "Remember when you all were young, she shone like the sun. Shine on you crazy diamonds. Now there's an empty look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamonds. You were caught in the crossfire of false godhood and kingdoms. Blown on the Notus breeze. Come on you targets for faraway laughter. Come on you strangers, you legends, you martyrs, and shine! She reached for the secret too soon, she cried for her moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond. Threatened by his shadows at night, but exposed in the starlight. Shine on you crazy diamonds. Well he wore out your welcomes with random precision, Rode on the Notus breeze. Come on you avatars, you mates of the souls. Come on you nobles, you etwahlist, you prisoners, and shine!"
With that last shine a bright golden light erupts from the magical hooded. While all of the harem falls suddenly into a deep sleep with tears starting to stream from their eyes the master of evil escapes his tomb. However by doing so he is exposed to the restorative flash which ignites his fur before it is blown away to show the true form of the Little Devil Teemo. While Eccentric is bathing is the light she fails to see a rock falling from the ceiling which clonks her on the head forcing her to fall asleep. Seeing as how all of his servants are dead, escaped, or passed out the now red-furred yordle is forced to drag his now sleeping opponent into the dungeons below. By the time the wheezing dictator has her chained to the wall his special captive is already waking up.
Eccentric- (Gets Teemo slapped) "Mmm Alcen my fiery little love could you please get my coffee started (Shakes her head) oh it's you."
"You melted away my cuteness and for that I must punish you! However before that I need to break you like the rest of my harem. I do hope you like the taste of mushrooms! Mwahahahaha!"
Before the breaking process can begin a loud bell starts to ring behind Teemo. When he turns to face it he is met with the bored and annoyed look of another Eccentric who is wearing a director beret. She is holding a megaphone and a stack of papers which the iconoclast begins to smack over the yordle's head as a crew of her copies unbind their female lead while in total disappointment of their male lead.
Director Eccentric- "What the hell are you doing improvising this scene?! What do you think this is some kind of cheap Ionian porn?! Follow the damn script I made for you, and you know something I'm tilted now! Where the hell is that donut girl at?!"
When Dave went to work today bringing the pizza offering to the dark lord he didn't expect his life to end the way it did on the thin bridge leading to the abyss below. It being mushroom and explosive related sure but not being blown up while transforming into a human version of the mushroom only pizza he was bringing. With her target stripped and with a few pieces of paper with crudely drawn donuts on them along with some tape Donut girl Eccentric is ready to finish her delivery. We transition back to a horribly confused Teemo and a still flaming director who answers her phone when StripyBag and DrawingDisaster call her.
Director Eccentric- "Alright I just got a call from the writers who tell me that was supposed to happen and it's time you got a shot at us after all we've done to you. (Come at her bro pose) Bring the biggest and baddest move you've got and I will take it unlike your chump self."
Teemo- "Hahahaha. If that's what you want, you delusional fool then I will show you what true power looks like! Raaawwrr!"
The Little Devil begins to grow to an unexpected height before he breaks through his own castle's roof. As if the invader was nothing more than an insignificant toy the now Big Devil picks her up and throws her at the taffy lake. Eccentric bounces off of the surface as though it were made out of rubber before landing back on the beach where the hooded mage started. The light above begins to fade except for the ex river gypsy's faithful spotlight when a massive mushroom covers up the sky. When it has finished forming the weapon of mushroom destruction starts its descent as Eccentric yawns.
With a mushroom cloud of pure evil and smoke laughing its way into the sky the tyrant of cuteness shrinks back down to his normal size. After checking every room in his destroyed castle he heads to the beach to see if the idiotic scum who decided to oppose him is dead. Seeing no one around he breathes in a sigh of relief but before Teemo can breathe it out Eccentric grows back to her original size and crushes the lord of brimstone under herself. With him pinned underneath she takes this chance to smack his crown off his head and fuses a new crown onto it. This new crown isn't your standard piece of headwear since it is made from a preseason seven red ward but with an eccentric twist. Freed from his oppressor's weight the desperate scout attempts to grab one of his shrooms but as he nears it he feels something coming up his throat. A torrent of fish eggs begins to burst forth from his body and it doesn't stop until he is a few meters from the mushroom.
Teemo- "Why did you do all of this?! What did I do to deserve all of this?! I just wanted to rule the world so it could be one of peace! Who are you?!"
Eccentric- "A few cliché questions but I will answer them nonetheless. The name you may call me by is Eccentric and I am the fifteenth in my line of hooded people who have dedicated years to kicking tyrant's asses like your own. Also while we were fighting I went back and read some of the other one shots and found out you aren't even the real Teemo. He gave up his soul for good but foolish intentions. You are just all of the hatred that he received over the years by moronic summoners that gave this body of yours such a form. Damn that Rioter for thinking of putting all of that hatred in one spot, and they say Prisoner Island is a bad idea. Before I leave for my own dimension, however I have one last thing to take from you before your actions bite you in the ass even more. Oh yeah and as for why I did it all. It's because I am the main character of this story and only I should have a harem. I won't stand for others getting one let alone one made out of sacrifices, fear, and lust unlike mine which was made out of mutual love. Now, Coercion!"
With one last tendril king nothing has his foot attached to a giant firecracker which lifts him high into the air. As it reaches its peak height he is permanently blinded when a small sun forms from the explosion. He soon lands in a fireball inside of his ruined throne room and starts to feel around using his blowgun as a cane. Without his eyesight he fails to see the Solari shield smash into the side of his head or the group of now enraged female champions that assault him. These champions don't remember much except for a bright light that through crying purged their bodies of the poison that had inhabited them for so long before restoring their bodies and being humiliated by the walking pile of fur in front of them.
Teemo while suffering from cancer to match what he causes in his lungs from the smoke, being made blind by light, having his cuteness burned away, and forced to vomit fish eggs when near his most powerful tools the master of nothing is forced to retire from the League. The former king of the world is forced into hiding by his former harem within the only place he didn't take any women from, Noxus. As for you reading this you might be wondering why not Noxian women? And the answer is because they smell of his now second biggest fear the towers on the rift. Those large stone guardians always disturbed his invisibility, aggroed him for poisoning their patrons, and ruined the surprises of his shrooms.
Teemo now lives the life of a blind hermit in the sewers of Noxus with the rodents but does come out sometimes to work at fancy restaurants when the customers want caviar. A demon in disguise is now leaving one of these restaurants with a bucket of said caviar. Her colorful girlfriend is waiting with a box of stolen Laurent wine since it was the least payment the noblewoman could give for freeing her. With a confirmation that Pensea is ready to leave Eccentric unfurls her staff Starpower which begins to wrap around the two to teleport them home as Eccentric leans towards her succubus as if they were finishing a dance but before we see them kiss Starpower wraps around them completely.
A/N Stripy Version- Hello readers I hope you enjoyed our crossover and my ocs. If not that's cool too and it was nice to perform for you all.