Riven scowls as the vexed white-haired swordswoman loudly stomps away from her equally upset teammates. The Noxian exile was having a terrible day so far. First there was some kind of plumbing problem in her apartment and so Riven had to shower with ice-cold water. Then, the next season of the stoic warrior's favorite anime, Blade and Soul had been canceled indefinitely due to a lack of interest. The former soldier had also overslept today because of her alarm clocks batteries running out, resulting in the Exile arriving late for breakfast at the Institute's enormous mess hall. The rather regrettable outcome of that fairly unfortunate inconvenience had been that all the good Noxian brands of cereal were gone by the time the bemused pale swordswoman had finally rushed into the great abandoned chamber.
The imposing deserter's mood had spiraled after that grim discovery. Just how was the former Noxian commander supposed to start her day and showcase her martial prowess without a nice big bowl of 'Darius' Dunkin' Hoops with Extra Meat and Protein?!' That very notion was pure blasphemy for the once wandering Exile! The reclusive warrior's muscles might even atrophy now that Riven had been left with no other choice than to simply make do with a generous helping of 'Cassiopeia Choco Curls, For Cunning, Backstabbing Snakes' instead.
And then there was the fact that Riven had just lost her forth League match in a row. Four freaking matches… Riven's personal Summoner, a tall blonde chill guy named Cloud, had been demoted all the way to gold 2 due to those utterly crushing defeats. Riven gulps. W-would the Summoners actually order her to change her hair color to blonde now that she was no longer in platinum? Was there some kind of rule that stated that only platinum level champions were allowed to have platinum blonde hair?
Oh yeah.. the Noxian exile could also faintly recall something about a Zaunite army invading Piltover due to her last match's outcome… Whoops!
The albino swordwoman sighs as the former Noxian commander ruefully eyes the entrance to the summoning chamber where her final match of the day will be soon taking place. The Exile can already see some of the champions gathered inside the spacious marble room, patiently waiting for everyone else to arrive. And the white-haired female almost flinches when Riven recognizes some of her current opponents. Nasus, Irelia, Varus.. A lot of strong champions will be participating in the upcoming match apparently.
Still sour due to the day's events and while being admitedly kind of moody even during more preferable circumstances in the first place, the female Noxian soldier grumbles in frustration as she nears the large open door. Oh God, Riven thinks with some degree of despair straining her troubled mind, she really needs to win this match or the damn Summoners might actually force her to dye her hair yellow!
Crimson eyes rise as the Noxian deserter pleadingly stares at the high ceiling above as if about to pray to an unseen deity.
'Please, let me show them what I'm made of in this match.' Riven mutedly begs towards the presently obscured heavens. 'I've been having a horrific day so far. So please. Please, just throw me a bone here!'
"Gnar gada!" Answers god through the vocal cords of a puny mortal being that just happens to be nearby. But the unnamed deity may or may not have taken Riven's desperate request at face value, because a boomerang made from the bones of some long-extinct prehistoric predator suddenly hits the approaching Noxian warrior in the head causing Riven to lose consciousness.
*Whimsical chiming sound*
Standing on top of an elevated waxed wooden platform with a small lectern placed between herself and the cheering crowd, Riven smiles charismatically at the excited masses below. A beautiful blonde Hex-tv reporter then abruptly walks up to the proud white-haired warrior and extends to her a microphone while flashing Riven a charming, polite smile.
"Miss Riven, how does it feel to be the first Noxian to ever step foot on the moon?" Janna asks.
The snow-haired astronaut giggles cutely. "Fantastic, Janna, and please allow me to call you by your first name, Miss Windforce. Nothing can be compared to going somewhere nobody has ever set foot before. I can hardly describe that feeling of utter elation I felt when I first stepped on the moon's surface."
Janna nods her head in rapid manner, obviously impressed by the other woman's truly moving reply. The blonde reporter is about to ask the celebrated poster child of Noxus another question when a raven-haired reporter that's wearing a very revealing white and red outfit suddenly jumps from amidst the crowd and lands in front of the unfazed celebrity on the podium.
"Greeting, Miss Riven! I am Ahri Fox from channel Red69, and our viewers around the globe would really like to know if you, the most desired woman in all of Valoran is still single!"
The albino smiles sadly. "I am truly sorry, Ahri." The courageous astronaut quickly replies awkwardly without missing a beat, before the white-haired celebrity's initial crestfallen expression abruptly transforms into a mischievous one. A teasing sly grin momentary replacing the warrior's previously nervous smile. "But Nasus, my four-legged partner here, is the only company I require for the time being." The lens of the camera suddenly zooms out in order to show the young Noxian astronaut hugging a very excited brown puppy that proceeds to lick Riven's cheek affectionately. The spectators ooh and aah at the cute sight before them.
Meanwhile in reality.
"Oww! You are such a sly puppy, Nasus. Who's a good doggy? Who's a good doggy? You are, Nasy! Yes, you are!"
Riven is still unconscious, but a sole pale arm abruptly darts towards the small gathering of League champions that are knelt next to the exiled swordswoman's collapsed form. The grasping pale hand then begins rubbing a scarred callused palm against Nasus' brown furry cheek. The huge ascended Shuriman merely stares at the unconscious white-haired deserter with a deadpan expression on his face.
"Now let me rub your belly." The Exile sleepily murmurs in delight.
Nasus' right eye starts twitching as the unconscious warrior's intrusive hand clumsily moves lower, sliding against brown fur while Riven is playing with a different version of the ascended Shuriman strategist inside her ludicrous dreamscape.
"That's a good boy, that's a good boy, Nasus. I'm going to buy you a new chewing toy when we get back home after the parade." Riven promises while smiling stupidly as she keeps stroking the Curator's sleek fur. And then the Ascended warrior suddenly jolts in surprise, since unbeknown to the currently oblivious swordwoman the specific part that the Noxian molester is presently caressing right now is definitely not Nasus' belly or midsection.
Everyone goes silent for a second until Ahri fox whistles.
"Wow, I didn't know that Riven had it in her to grope somebody like that in public." The Nine-tailed Fox offhandedly comments clearly impressed.
Nasus closes his wise eyes and takes a few deep calming breaths for the next minute. The huge ascended strategist then snaps his eyes open again and gently removes the unconscious former commander's hand from his precious family jewels.
…
"Killjoy!" Ahri mutters accusingly at the huge Shuriman in dissapointment.
0000
Back inside Riven's dream, a new familiar face unexpectedly makes its appearance. Despite the young green-eyed woman's somewhat geeky demeanor, the young redhead manages to fight her way through the legion of the brave astronaut's fans and proudly stand before her courageous idol. The tired redheaded woman smiles, unintentionally revealing her brand new braces to the patient Noxian celebrity that's looking at her encouragingly through bright sanguine eyes.
Katarina swallows loudly as she meets Riven's crimson gaze, the avid attention of her idol being suddenly focused on her person making the young redheaded woman nervous. A small cheap microphone is shakily pointed towards the gorgeous white-haired astronaut.
"I… I… " Katarina somehow accomplishes to mutter nervously. Riven merely nods her head at the blushing teenager with the long sanguine twintails to wordlessly convey to Kat that she is listening to her. The dazed teenager takes a long deep breath, before young Katarina finally lets her uncertain voice fly out of her mouth like a shy fledgling that is leaving its nest for the first time.
"M-m-my name is Katarina, and I am the president of the 'Manly Women Club' in Noxus and the co-founder of your fan club, Miss Riven."
The Noxian hero nods once more encouragingly and Katarina hastily wets her lips in order to buy herself some time until she can hopefully remember how one is supposed to form coherent sentences.
"Miss Riven, do you have anything to say to all the young girls out there that aspire to be like you when they grow up and buy they own humongous blades?" The redhead shakily voices.
Riven beams at the scarlet-haired girl as the exiled warrior's lips already start moving as if out of their own volition.
Meanwhile at the Institute
Varus glares and splatters curses and death threats as the corrupted Ionian archer frantically tries to take a step forward and strangle the knocked out Riven that is still lying on the ground.
"Varus, calm down please. You know that violence between champions is strictly prohibited inside the Institute." Irelia attempts to placate her fellow countryman while both she and Nasus are fighting a lost battle trying to keep the furious purple archer away from the unconscious white-haired deserter.
"Let go of me, Irelia! Fucking, let go of me! You know why I should be allowed to rip off the Noxiam bitch's spine!" The purple-themed marksman screams in pure outrage as he once again attempts to break free from the two warriors' grips and lunge at Riven.
"I know! I know! But just calm down now." Seethingly yells back Irelia, the Ionian Captain finally losing her cool for once due to the current situation and her growing irritation at having to protect a Noxian from one of her people of all things.
"She is passed out, Varus." The red-clad Ionian Captain tries to appeal to the angry archer's sense of logic. "The Exile is just muttering random nonsense in her sleep. Remember what happened with Nasus?" Irelia quickly questions, the female martial artist's enchanted blades frantically vibrating behind her back, torn between attacking her dear friend and continuing to hover protectively around Riven.
"That's Alistarshit and you know it!" Varus screams in a shrill tone of voice. "The murderous bitch is clearly faking it, Irelia. I fucking told her: How dare you waste our time, I should just kill you, and every other Noxian in the world!"
"I know!" Screams back Irelia in alarm as her hold on Varus slowly starts faltering.
"Then you know what she replied back to me, Ire!" The enraged marksman now loudly screams at the top of his lungs. "She fucking told me: Don't let your dreams be dreams. The only limit is the Void! She is fucking awake, Irelia. Can't you see it, the Noxian is toying with us! She is playing us like a Fiddlesticks!"
The three champions suddenly pause as one when the passed out albino warrior abruptly sighs and shifts in her sleep. Riven then audibly snorts in amusement.
"No comment." The former Noxian commander chuckles good-naturedly.
Varus sees red. The cursed archer somehow succeeding in wrenching his arms away from those of Irelia and Nasus. The corrupted sentinel angrily draws back the bowstring of his purple organic bow. Sharp tendrils of corruption instantly shaping like deadly fluorescent arrows.
"I'm so going to fucking kill yo-!"
"Varus, Nooo!"
Dream world.
Riven smiles politely as Evaine LeBlanc, the famous tabloid journalist the articles of which have ended many bright careers with their speculated wild controversies. The aforementioned dark witch of the yellow press, as Evaine's colleagues have taken to calling the devious crafty woman, flashes the brave astronaut a fake saccharine smile, puts aside her pen and her notepad with the black rose symbol on the front and then briskly walks away from the crowded press conference, all dignified and overconfident.
The white-haired celebrity's small smirk widens considerably as Riven amusedly observes Evaine's silent departure.
Heh, it was just like LeBlanc to suddenly ask the young astronaut about her stance concerning the new law that legalized same color yordle weddings. Riven silently congratulates herself on a job well-done. The Exile had really dodged an arrowhead there.