Savannah P.O.V.
Our next job was to use a voice modulation device to scare the Contessa and to intimidate Neyla's mecenaries. Using voice samples to trick the Contessa into thinking that we were Neyla by using a voice modular. Me and Julius decided it would be a good idea to sample various pre recorded soundbytes from various means of pop culture to use against the Contessa instead of just using Neyla's voice. Me and Julius had to steal some keys from two guards. We needed ths keys to access the guard room, where the voice modulator device. We located the voice modulation device and the wire tap in the castle. We then had to go through the muck and grime of the sewers.
"Are you sure you me and Julius to go through the sewers to get underneath Neyla's HQ?" I asked Bentley. "Isn't there some other way to get into Neyla's HQ that isn't disgusting or puke inducing?"
"Unfortunately no. I'm afraid the only way to Neyla's HQ is through the sewers." Bentley said to me. "The Contessa's guards have locked down the entrance to the sewers. Find the guys in charge and steal their keys."
"Another set of keys? How many sets of keys do I have to steal? A billion?" I complained to Bentley
"There's only three sets of keys that I'm requiring you to steal. Is that too much to ask?" Bentley said.
I turned off my communications device to silence Bentley. I like him, but sometimes he can be so annoying and agrevating. I stole the three keys from the guards before entering the sewers. I then used the keys to access the sewer gates. I entered the sewers. I held my breath because the last thing I needed was to get sick while doing a job. The sewers were crawling with guards and a giant squid that looked like Squidward's half brother. I seriously hope that squid doesn't decide to do tentacle hentai porn things to me (A/N: You readers don't want to find out what tentacle porn is. It's disgusting. Let's just leave it at that.)
I made my way through the sewers. I slid across the railings like I was Tony Hawk. I then installed the wire tap and the voice modulator into the wall.
"Splice in the wire tap and attach the voice modulator. Julius will broadcast from the safe house to make sure it works okay." Bentley said. I couldn't wait to hear what Julius had in store for the Contessa.
Regular P.O.V.
Julius had decided it would be a good idea to use various prerecorded soundbytes from his phone to speak into the voice modulator. He decided to sample lyrics from the Guess Who song American Woman, War Pigs by Black Sabbath, a soundbyte from the Angry Video Game Nerd's review of the game Hong Kong 97 and a soundbyte from the movie Full Metal Jacket to use against the Contessa's mercenaries. Julius activated the voice modulator device.
"We don't need your War Machines, we don't need your ghetto scenes. Colored lights can hypnotize. Sparkle someone elses eyes. Now, woman. Get away from me." Burton Cummings voice sang out from his hit song American Woman.
Black Sabbath, War Pigs:
Politicians lock themselves away.
They only started the war.
Why should they go out to to fight?
They leave the role out to the poor.
Treating people just like pawns in chess.
Wait til your judgement day comes.
Excerpt from The Angry Video Game Nerd's review of Hong Kong 97: "We're more powerful than a thousand nukes! You don't fuck with the Cooper Gang." the last part was added in by Julius.
"You guys are the lowest forms of life on Earth! You're not even human fucking beings. You guys are nothing but a bunch of unorganized, grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit! Here you guys are all equally worthless."- Gunnery Seargant Hartman. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Julius P.O.V.
My next job was to drive a tank with Murray. The Contessa had doubled her forces upon hearing the threatening sound clips that were directed toward her mercenary team. She didn't like what she had to hear about her mercenaries. Me and Murray had to take out six of the Contessa's mercenary tanks. Me taking control of an actual tank was cool and awesome. It reminded me of an obscure tank combat video game I used to play called Steel Batallion. Steel Batallion is an obscure war combat game in which you are in a tank fighting off enemy soldiers in a tank like mech that would make Tank Girl blush. You had to navaigate the tank using a complex series of buttons, switches and levers.
It was originally released on the original Xbox in 2002. You had to control the tank strategically and carefully. If you took too sharp of a turn, your tank wall fall over. If you didn't eject out of your tank properly, your character would die and you'd be forced to start over from the beginning of the game. There were two sequels to Steel Battalion: one released in 2004 that nobody cared about called Steel Battalion: Line of Contact and the other game that was released for the Xbox Kinect in 2012 called Steel Batallion: Heavy Armor. Steel Batallion: Heavy Armor for the Xbox Kinect was beyond abysmal.
The Xbox Kinect was a peripheral that utilized motion controls that were similar to the Wii. You had to use your entire body to interact with the in game characters. The games for the Xbox Kinect were mostly Just Dance games, which was appropriate, since all you had to do was dance. Now apply that motion control technology to a game like Steel Batallion, a game that required a big control board controller to manuever your tank. Needless to say, Steel Batallion: Heavy Armor was an abysmal game. Who thought it would be a good idea to release a tank combat game like Steel Batallion for the Xbox Kinect? Whoever thought that idea up was high on drugs.
No sane person would think of making a tank simulation game like Steel Batallion for the Xbox Kinect. The action scenes in the Tank Girl movie were a hell of a lot better than playing Steel Batallion: Heavy Armor. Fuck that abysmal game. It's one of the worst games I've ever played. Controlling the inside of the tank took a lot to get used to. I've never driven an actual tank before. Me and Murray soon got used to driving the tank. It was a lot of fun. It was like a scene ripped straight out of a war movie. Me and Murray destroyed six mercenary tanks. It was relatively easy. Controlling an actual tank was a lot funner that controlling a virtual tank in Steel Batallion.