Meg went home that evening, not even bothering to think about what happened with her talking backpack. After all, maybe she was just imaging things, you know?

As she took out her backpack to take care of things, she heard a faint voice singing. It sounded like a...chipmunk? Not, it couldn't be, there were no chipmunks in the house, not even singing ones.

"He spends his nights in California

Watching the stars on the big screen
And then he lies awake and he wonders
Why can't that be me?"

sung the voice. Curious, Meg turned around.

"If I could be like that
Well I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes"
If I could be like that
What would I do?
What would I do?"

So she had singing chipmunks. Okay.

"You know, this one time at band camp, we got so-" she said awkwardly, but was then abruptedly cut off by her idiotic father, who had just appeared out of nowhere, wearing nothing but a towel over his ridiculously obese body.

"Meg, have you been using all the goddamn hot water? It's like Alaska in there," said Peter.

"DAD!" snapped Meg. "What the hell are you doing here? These singing chipmunks came in here, and apparently they're-"

"Meg, you lost me at "singing chipmunks; this is absoutely ridiculous," said Peter, absolutely disgusted at what was happening.

"Dad, please!" said Meg. "They may be annoying, but they're still little critters! Look how cute they are!" she said, showing Alvin to her father with puppy-dog eyes and an equally immature pout.

"Yeah, whatever," said Peter. "Look, I'm going to the bar to get some drinks with Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire. You want anything?"

"No...I guess not," said Meg.

"Good, I'm glad we're on the same page," said Peter, walking outside towards his car.

"So, where did you come from?" she asked, putting down Alvin.

"Well..." said Alvin. "When a mommy chipmunk and a daddy chipmunk really love each other, they-"

"EEEEEEWWWWWWW!" squealed Meg.

"So that's where babies come from!" exclaimed the voice of a perky, rather dimwitted young teenager.

"Who was that?" asked Simon, suspicious about Meg's brother.

"Oh, him? He's my brother," said Meg. "He's kind of an idiot, so if you guys are staying, please don't be too weirded out by him."

"Hey, Meg?" asked Chris.

"What is it, Chris?"

"The bathroom is flooded again."

"How would you know? You don't even have your pants down," shrugged Meg.

"Sorry," said Chris, pulling down his pants, while Meg looked in disgust. Alvin and his brothers didn't react in disgust insomuch as pure shock.

"Let me guess," asked Simon, rather sheepishly. "This is your family?"

"Well...yeah," said Meg, clearly too embarrassed to say anything. "Anyways, be honest. Where did you guys come from anyways?"

"Oh, that?" said Alvin. "To be honest, it's a long story."

"Oh, really?" said Meg.

"Yep," said Alvin. "One day, we were collecting nuts, singing "Bad Day," when, before we knew it, our tree was cut down and we were adopted by this old guy."

"Old?" said Meg. "He can't possibly be as old as my parents. Certainly not my mom."

And who should come out of the kitchen but Lois herself? Wearing nothing but a towel?

"So Peter, we'll be talking to Chris' teacher about his inappropriate behavior in school...probably has some sort of ADD...OH MY GOODNESS WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?"

Meg started to flush as her face turned a bright red, the way a person's face turns when they realize they're in huge trouble. My goodness, how was she going to explain to her Mom about her new friends?

"Um, Mom...I can explain..." she said.

No, no I can't Thought Meg to herself.

"Look, in class today my teacher had the brilliant idea to send us on a class trip to a stupid children's zoo," said Meg. "Look, he was exhausted, and didn't have a lesson prepared. Long story short, we got super-bored, it was for babies, and decided to sneak off to a children's playground. So, I'm playing around with my friends when suddenly, these guys decide to pop up in my backpack!"

"Meg, what kind of school do you go to, and can I enroll?" Peter said, popping his head into the conversation.

"No, you may not go to Meg's school!" snapped Lois, clearly annoyed at Peter's reaction, but doing her best to contain herself.

"As I was saying Meg," she said, continuing to talk to her daughter. "What's really going on here?"

"Oh, nothing creepy or anything," said Meg. "Just a bunch of singing chipmunks here!"

Lois gave Meg one of those "are-you-kidding-me" looks.

"Hey, Mom," said Meg, leaning in in an attempt to reassure her dear mother. "Remember when you said when a bunch of singing chipmunks come into our house, we could have a party?"

"That was before it actually happened," said Lois. "Anyways, why are you bothering to keep them here?"

"Because for all I know, they don't have anywhere else to go," said Meg in a sad tone of voice. "Also, they're really cute! They sing and everything!"

"They're still wild animals," said Lois. "As the great saying goes, if you love something, set it free."

"Mom, please, I don't know what to do!" shrieked Meg. "These little guys, they're lost. For all I know, they could be missing their mommy and daddy."

"Actually, our parents were hippies," said Simon. "They left early to join a commune."

"If anything, we're looking for our human, Dave," said Alvin.

"I miss him already!" shrieked Theodore.

"Cut it, Theodore," said Alvin. "Now, as I was saying, we've lost our dad running away from Ian."

"Who's Ian?" asked Meg, totally baffled.

"Oh, Ian Hawk?" asked Alvin. "He's our archnemesis. He thinks we're a money-making machine."

"Once he realized we were not only able to talk but sing, he exploited the hell out of us. Made us work until the wee hours of the morning! Didn't even enjoy it."

"Oh man, that sounds tough," said Meg.

"So, how's your life like?" asked Simon.

"Didn't you already see what it was like?" snapped Meg.

"Aw geez, you didn't have to react that way," said Simon.

"I kind of did," said Meg. "Didn't you see my life already?"

Simon said nothing, but merely gave her a condescending glare.

"What I meant was, my life is a complete and utter mess," shrugged Meg. "My dad puts his face in his butt and he farts in it!"

Despite his better nature, Theodore started to laugh. He just couldn't help himself- it was just too funny for him!

Unfortunately, he laughed so hard Alvin had to pat him on the back and shriek "Knock it off!"

"...Sorry," said Theodore.

"Yeah, from what we see here this poor girl has a hard life." said Simon.

"So what you're saying is...she's got a "Hard Knock Life!" said Alvin,

"Well, not really, but-" said Simon, trying to stop him.

But it was too late. He and Theodore immediately went up to start singing "Hard Knock Life" together. "It's a hard knock life- for her, it's a hard-knock life, for her! No one cares for her or him when they're in a-"

"Oh brother," said Simon. "Look, I'm really sorry about this. You see, my brothers don't know how to handle...visiting people like this."

"No, it's okay," said Meg. "I like you guys; not sure about the rest of my family though."

"Talking chipmunks!" Chris rushed in excitedly.

Meg sighed. She could use three friends, but raising all of them was not going to be easy.