"Disoriented"

We all sat around the fire, the crickets chirping in the darkness of the night. Rick had been talking about his escape from the hospital, where he woke up from his coma and made his way to the city, meeting our group. I listened intently to him. Rick had this presence, this calming, safe presence. I snuggled into my mother's side, my book laying in my lap, ready for Rick to tell us more.

"I guess that comes closest." Rick continued, the fire crackling as background noise. I stared out at it, watching the flames dance. "Disoriented. Fear, confusion, all those things but...disoriented comes closest."

"Words can be meager things." Dale spoke up, setting his mug down beside him. "Sometimes they fall short."

"It felt like I'd been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else." Rick continued to explain. "For awhile I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake up from ever."

It was silent for a moment, and I felt bad for Rick. Having to wake up, not knowing what was going on, where his family was, not knowing if they were okay. Having to learn all this on his own must've been so hard.

Carl looked up from where his head laid on his dad's lap. "Mom said you died."

Rick and Lori looked to each other, becoming saddened by that small sentence. "She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it."

"When things started to get really bad, they told me at the hospital that they were gonna medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta. It never happened." Lori told him, running her fingers through her son's hair as she spoke.

"Well, I'm not surprised after Atlanta fell." Rick said, causing Lori to nod and respond with a quick "yeah". "And from the look of that hospital, it got overrun."

"Yeah, looks don't deceive. I barely got them out." Shane said, looking at Rick and Lori. "You know?"

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane." Rick said earnestly. "I can't begin to express it."

"There go those words falling short again." Dale smiled slightly. "Paltry things."

There was another silence, so I took this as an opportunity to get back into my book. That didn't last long though, as the sound of wood being thrown into a fire startled me slightly. I looked over to Ed, Carol, and their daughter Sophia, them having a separate fire from the rest of the group. Ed insisted on it. He was basically a major asshole. He hated everyone here, he hurt his wife and daughter, and nobody liked him. I just knew Shane would get onto him for what he just did. We had rules, one of them being that our fires couldn't be big so they weren't visible to any dead that might be around.

"Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?" Shane asked, just as I knew he would. His tone was passive aggressive as he stared at the back of Ed's head, glaring daggers.

"It's cold, man." Ed replied, not giving a damn. My eyes roamed over to Carol and Sophia who shifted uncomfortably.

"The cold don't change the rules, does it?" Shane was getting more irritated by the second. "Keep our fires low, just embers, so we can't be seen from a distance, right?"

"I said it's cold." Ed snapped back. "You should mind your own business for once."

This set Shane off, causing him to stand from where he sat and make his way over to Ed. My mom pulled me closer to her, and I knew that she was hoping things wouldn't get out of hand. I stared as Shane spoke softly to Ed, telling him something that must've made Ed change his mind. He ordered Carol to take the log he had just thrown out of the fire and she complied. Shane stomped out a part of the fire, making sure it was low again.

I felt awful for Carol and Sophia, seeing Ed order them around and so obviously abuse them was horrible. I just looked back down at my book while Shane spoke to the two girls quietly.

Not too long after, Shane made his way back to our fire, sarcastically saying "Thanks for the cooperation." to Ed as he walked past him.

"Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon?" Dale asked as Shane sat back down, to which I became more interested in the conversation. It was a good question. Daryl was not the type of person to react very well to something like this. "He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind."

"I'll tell him. I dropped the key. It's on me." T-Dog said, staring off into the fire.

"I cuffed him. That makes it mine." Rick shook his head, shifting the blame to himself.

"Guys, it's not a competition." Glenn slightly chuckled, looking from Rick to T-Dog. "I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy."

"I did what I did." T-Dog responded blankly. "Hell if I'm gonna hide from him."

"We could lie." Amy spoke up from her spot beside her sister.

"Or tell the truth." Andrea added, shaking her head. "Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he'd have gotten us killed." She looked over at Lori, pointing her words towards her. "Your husband did what was necessary. And if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's."

"And that's what we tell Daryl?" Dale questioned, his face contorting into confusion and concern. I couldn't help but feel the same way. "I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you?" Andrea just sighed, hanging her head low as I bit my lip nervously. "Word to the wise...we're gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt."

"I was scared and I ran." T-Dog explained. "I'm not ashamed of it."

"We were all scared, we all ran. What's your point?" Andrea asked him.

"I stopped long enough to chain that door." He replied. I furrowed my brows. "Staircase is narrow. Maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at any one time. It's not enough to break through that. Not that chain, not that padlock. My point...Dixon's alive and he's still up there, handcuffed on that roof. That's on us."

T-Dog got up, leaving the fire to go back to his tent.

I looked down at my book, continuing to read the words on the page, but stopping when I got to one I didn't know the meaning to.

Immersed.

"Mama, what does immersed mean?" I asked, staring at the word on the page, my face scrunched up as I thought.

My mom looked down at me and smiled. "It means to involve yourself deeply in something."

"Like, if you were in a conversation with people, and you were talking a lot and you were very interested in it." I tried to think of an example to see if I was thinking of it the right way. "You are immersed in the conversation."

"Exactly." My mom said with a nod.

I hummed a response. Rick overheard our conversation and spoke up. "You're a smart one, aren't you?"

I shrugged, smiling bashfully. "I guess?"

"What's your name?" He chuckled lightly at my reaction.

"Delilah." I answered, my voice becoming more full. "Delilah Wheeler."

"That's a very pretty name." Rick replied earnestly, his face full of kindness as he spoke.

"Thank you." I said, feeling my face burn up with embarrassment at the attention. I never took attention too well, I was an awkward kid.

"You're welcome." He nodded slightly, his eyes turning from me to my mother. "She's very smart. You must've raised her well."

"I did my best," My mom told him, the corners of her mouth perking up. "Although, it was her father who got her into literature. God, the way that man talked about books and music. When she was just a little girl, she would sit with her father in his office and would stare at him in amazement as he read her a book or sang her a song or recited some poem that he knew like the back of his hand, and he knew a lot of them."

My mom's small smile turned into a pained expression.

Rick gave her a sympathetic look. "He sounds like he was a great man."

"He was." She smiled kindly at Rick before sighing and giving me a small squeeze. "Time for bed, Li." She whispered into my ear, standing up beside me and grabbing my hand to help me up off the ground. "Goodnight everyone."

Everyone replied with a soft goodnight, and Carl sat up slightly, giving me a smile. "Goodnight Delilah."

"Goodnight Carl." I smiled back at him, waving slightly at him and walking with my mom to our shared tent.

. . .

Fear coursed through my body as I raced through the woods, screaming for my mom. Carl ran beside me, our feet crunching the leaves that covered the forest floor as we ran as quickly as we could, Sophia, Eliza, and Louis running right behind us. I could hear my mother calling for me as we emerged from the woods, meeting up with our parents. I ran straight into my mother's embrace.

She pulled away, grabbing at my face, panic tracing every inch of her face. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay." I assured her, catching my breath and trying to calm myself down.

Me and the other kids had been playing in the woods and we came into contact with a walker that was feeding on a deer. We immediately ran in the other direction and called for our parents, just as we had always been taught to do.

"Here, let's go to the RV while they deal with that." My mom stood up straight, holding me close to her as we began to walk. Lori and Carl came up to walk beside us.

We were led into the RV and sat at the table, my mom setting my book in front of me and a comic in front of Carl. There was some commotion outside and I thought I heard Daryl's voice, which caused immediate concern.

"Stay here you two." My mom said, kissing the top of my head and walking out of the RV, leaving me and Carl alone.

We sat for a moment as I wondered if I should even pick up my book. I was still shaken from what had just happened. "That was scary."

"Yeah, it was." Carl looked up, nodding. "But I would've protected you. If it tried to get you."

I smiled sweetly at my best friend, laughing lightly. "Thanks Carl. You're the best."

He smiled back, reaching out for the comic in front of him and patting the seat beside him. "Come over here, let's read this together."

I slid out of the seat across from him and sat beside him while he flipped to the first page. We read through the comic together, forgetting about what had just happened for a little while.

A/n - hey guys! okay so...i kinda dropped the first chapter and then left. i've been trying to write as much as i can, but i started writing this before school started and now i have school and work and not a lot of writing time. i hope to have a solid update schedule soon! i have another chapter totally done for next week and another in the process of writing that'll hopefully be done in time for the week after that. anyways, i hope you enjoyed the chapter. make sure to vote, comment, all the good stuff, it keeps me motivated! 3