Chapter 3: Dagobah
Imperial Listening Post 001272
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Not again, thought Kullo, who was starting to dread the end of his shifts. This packet was a priority one requiring immediate attention. Kullo opened the packet and scanned the contents, his eyes opening wide. And something was nagging at him about it too, something familiar. He ran a crosscheck, and up popped a report from earlier in the week: a giant mystery ship.
"Sir? You really need to see this," he called out, waving frantically at his commander.
The commander was annoyed Kullo was not following strict protocol, but then, his behavior was out of character.
"What is it?" he asked calmly, prepared to chew out Kullo if this proved to be trivial.
"Sir, we've just received an information burst from a disaster beacon. Specially, from patrol ship IP2745, the one sent to investigate that bug ship. I have it cross-referenced here," he said, pointing at the screen.
"When they arrived in system, the bug ship gave chase. The last entry shows the patrol ship beginning violent maneuvers in hyperspace with the hyperdrive overloaded and on the verge of scramming. There's nothing else after that, and she's not reported in since."
The commander stood silent for a moment, muscles along his jawline flexing as he struggled to maintain composure. The idea that someone may have captured or destroyed an Imperial vessel was intolerable. He took a deep breath.
"Right. Open a case file, link the two documents, make sure everything is flagged priority one and set to the highest urgency level. Contact Dispatch, and make them understand this time they need to send a real ship to investigate. And be sure to mention I will be pushing this up the chain of command as hard as I can. This nonsense has gone on long enough."
The Lexx settled into orbit around Dagobah and began scanning the planet below.
"Well 790? What do you think?" asked Xev.
"I think you're the most wonderful person who has ever lived, or ever will live. I have composed a one hundred seventy-five stanza poem in your honor I would like to recite now. It begins—".
"About the planet, 790?" Xev interrupted.
"Oh that. Nothing there. We're good."
"Could you elaborate?" asked Stanley, exasperated.
"I thought about using blank verse, but decided to stick with simple rhyming.
I love Xev in the morning,
I love Xev in the night,
I love Xev every day,
She knows I'll do her right—
Stanley waved his hand at the view screen. "The planet, 790! Tell us more about the planet, bolts for brains!"
"Up yours, security guard class four! I have a poem to recite."
"790!" chided Xev. "I want to know more about the planet too."
"Oh all right. It's a typical oxygen-cycle life-bearing planet with a highly diverse ecosphere, but rather than distinct land masses and oceans, it appears to be one big swamp, which might explain why it hasn't been settled. There are no signs of cities, roads, agriculture, artificial lighting, electromagnetic emissions, blah, blah, blah, to indicate an established civilization. In short, it is an untamed, uninhabited wilderness. Are we done here? Now back to the poem—"
"790! Not now!" Xev interjected quickly. She had absolutely no interest in any of 790's missives.
"Every time you deny me darling, it just makes me that much hotter for you!" 790 whined, but at least it settled down after that, much to Xev's and Stanley's relief.
"Okay then," said Stanley. "Lexx? It's chow time. Eat to your heart's content."
"Thank you Stanley," said the Lexx. "This planet looks sooo good."
The Lexx began its descent to Dagobah.
Xev stared at the view screen as more detail gradually came into view. In areas not covered by clouds, uniform green began to resolve into dappled areas of thick dark virgin forest and lighter clearings. Sunlight occasionally reflected off bodies of water with bright flashes as they moved overhead. Groups of tiny black dots came into view, which soon resolved into flocks of flying animals above the green canopy.
"I want to explore," Xev said abruptly.
"Explore? Why?" asked Stanley.
"Think about it Stanley. On every planet we've ever visited, there has always been somebody there to greet us. Established. Civilized, more or less. This is the first time we've ever visited a wild planet, and I want to see it."
"But Xev!" exclaimed Stanley, "It's a jungle out there! That means wild animals—things that might try to eat you! Things that might think a cluster lizard is a snack!"
"Swamp," corrected 790, "But the security guard is right. We don't know the dangers Xev, and I don't want my love treasure getting hurt. Stay inside the Lexx where it's safe."
"Then I'll wake up Kai and take him with me." Xev nodded, indicating as far as she was concerned, that was that.
"Then I insist you take Tweedle with you as well," demanded 790.
"Really?" said Stanley, surprised and a bit suspicious. "You think I can help protect Xev?"
"Of course. If you're with Xev, she only needs to outrun you."
"Hey!" Stanley glared at 790.
"Don't worry Stanley. I won't leave you behind," Xev said with a smile.
"Okay Xev, if you want me to come along, I'll come. But 790 stays on the bridge. After all, if someone shows up around here, like a ship for example, 790 can warn us. Right?" Stanley said, looking pointedly at Xev.
"Yes 790, it would make me feel safer to know you are here keeping an eye on things," Xev said while looking back at Stanley, a twinkle in her eye.
"I'll do it for you, my scrumptious."
"Good," said Xev. "Then it's settled. Come on Stanley, let's go wake up Kai." She motioned Stanley to follow her, and together they walked off to the cryochamber.
Dishes began to rattle. A spoon clattered its way off the edge of the table and hit the floor. Yoda felt the vibrations in his bed before a sonic boom woke him up in the predawn hours. A deorbiting ship, he realized, passing overhead in an easterly direction.
In spite of Dagobah's isolation, every few cycles, someone would show up—usually a survey ship from the Imperial Conservation Society, or the Galactic Conservation Society, as it was known in the days before the Empire. Sometimes other academic organizations would scrape together funding for their own expedition.
Most planets had the same invasive species introduced long ago during the ancient days of galactic settlement, typicality driving all but the hardiest native life forms to extinction. It was a process repeated over and over, across thousands of planets and thousands of years, to the point it was now impossible to determine the point of origin for species found in common on planets scattered across the galaxy.
Dagobah was a rare exception; a planet with a largely intact indigenous ecosystem.
As long as they stayed well away, Yoda was not concerned. During his self-imposed exile, this was only the second unscheduled ship to make its presence known, and from the sound of it, likely to land somewhere far away. Yoda rolled over and went back to sleep.
As the Lexx made its final approach, it scanned the immediate area to pick a feeding direction. Once landed, Lexx tended to move in a straight line because it was difficult to maneuver without at least a partial takeoff. After evaluating thickness of vegetation and surveying for possible obstacles along the way, the Lexx turned and settled down facing west.
Lexx was not a fussy eater. Everything in its path was fair game—animals not quick or quick-witted enough to flee, vegetation from moss to trees the size of redwoods, ponds were vacuumed up along with any aquatic life, rocks, and even the top layer of loam went into its giant maw, leaving a flattened landscape behind, with an occasional root sticking up here and there out of the churned soil.
From the back of Lexx's "head," an ornithopter bearing a strong resemblance to a giant moth flew out of an organic airlock, its wings beating rapidly as it climbed into the open sky and began to circle the Lexx and its growing path of destruction.
"Isn't it exciting?" exclaimed Xev, eyes wide with wonder, looking out the bulbous cockpit windows that doubled as doors to the moth interior.
"The dead do not get excited," replied Kai, sitting quietly in the back of the moth.
"Well there's not much to see around here," grumbled Stanley as he guided the moth. "It's not like there are tourist attractions, landmarks or people to visit. Just the Lexx and a lot of swampy stuff."
"Don't be such a buzz kill," said Xev, undeterred. "Let's scout ahead in the direction Lexx is traveling. See what there is to see before it gets eaten."
"Yeah, like even more swamp," muttered Stanley. But he did as Xev asked, and turning, the moth zoomed off to the west.
The younglings were dead—all of them—sightless eyes staring, a mixture of shock and hurt at the betrayal of trust on their faces. Room after room of dead younglings, each room with more bodies than the last, bodies stacked on bodies piled higher and higher. All accused Yoda of having failed to protect them when his aid was needed most.
Yoda woke up with a start, perspiring slightly. He had not thought of the Jedi Purge on Coruscant in years; indeed, he had tried to put it out of his mind. The nightmare was a horrible exaggeration of reality. What could have triggered a disturbing dream of so much death? And then Yoda realized what he was feeling; a low-level but continuous disturbance in the Force.
Taking a deep breath, Yoda relaxed and reached out with his mind. What he found shocked him. He had the impression of an impossibly large predator several times bigger than a space slug, feeding on anything and everything within reach. As he thought about it more, he realized that its behavior was closer to that of a grazing animal, but still, there was something disturbing about it that was very definitely predator too. It was a long ways off, but heading in his direction. If it continued at its current rate of travel without stopping or turning, Yoda guessed it might reach his home in a week's time, more or less. Something had to be done. For the first time in many years, Yoda reached under his bed and pulled out a small wooden box. He opened it. His lightsaber gleamed in the light.
After a quick meal, Yoda went out into the marsh. While living on Dagobah, Yoda lived as low-tech a life as possible, but sometimes a little technology was called for. About one hundred meters behind his house, well hidden in a thick clump of trees and covered in branches, was a small speeder bike.
Yoda sighed. Back in the days when he lived on Coruscant, he had a custom built Jedi speeder bike that was a joy to ride. But like all other material possessions, it had to be abandoned during the Purge.
This one looked like a miniature 74-Z used by Imperial forces. It was, in fact, a human child's speeder, hot pink in color ("guaranteed will not fade") with tassels on the handlebars and an after-market fake ion generator bolted on the back to give it a swoop look. Emblazoned on the sides was, "My Little Speeder: The Pink Ranger". This speeder had once belonged to young Princess Leia until she out-grew it, and it was given to him by Bail Organa. Other than Organa, absolutely no one knew Yoda owned the thing, and he planned to keep it that way.
Yoda pushed the power switch, and as always, the bike shouted, "Troopers to the rescue, HURRAH!" which sent a few startled birds flying away squawking. Yoda took off heading east, deftly weaving in and out among the trees at a speed only a trained Jedi could maintain.
Within a few light-seconds of the last known position of Patrol Ship IP2745, the Imperial class Star Destroyer Apacaphion dropped out of hyperspace, weapons ready, scanning the immediate area.
"All clear," called a sensor officer as he reviewed his monitor.
"Very well, secure from condition one," ordered Captain Waed. "Begin a search of the area." He turned to look out the bridge windows, hands clasped behind his back.
"Secure from condition one aye," called out a Lieutenant. The keyed-up crew settled down to routine duties. For many, this would be a waiting game as sensor officers ran sweeps and analyzed data.
Captain Waed nodded as his first officer Galicia stepped up beside him. "This is damned peculiar," he commented.
"Yes sir," said Galicia. "It gets even stranger when you dig into the details of the attached report. A gigantic bug ship—assuming it actually is a ship and not a previously undiscovered new life form, however unlikely. What I find interesting is that there is nothing in the report to indicate the bug ever fired on IP2745. It simply chased the ship down."
"To what purpose?" questioned Waed.
"To drive the patrol ship out of its territory perhaps," Galicia speculated. "Or perhaps to eat it." He smiled to indicate that last comment was not to be taken seriously.
Captain Waed shuttered at the thought. "And if it does turn out to be a new life form?"
"Then we give it indigestion sir." Galicia dead panned. "We can't have something like that wandering into heavily populated areas."
"Agreed."
After staring out the window in silence for another minute or two, Waed turned to the crew pit. "Anything?" he called out.
"Yes sir," replied the senior sensor officer. "We found the disaster beacon readily enough, and it's being tractored in as we speak. What we have not found is any sign of debris or anything from the black box transponder, and we should be well within range."
The sensor officer paused for a second as new information popped up on his monitor. "Interesting. There's an ion trail, rather faint, but it leads from approximately our position towards the rim. That's the best lead we have on where an attacking ship many have headed."
"What's out that way?" asked the Captain.
"I'll have that answer in a minute or two, sir. The technicians are extrapolating the course now. Excuse me, sir."
The senior sensor officer turned to one of the technicians, who waved excitedly.
"I think that ion trail kills my idea of the bug being a life form," said Galicia. "But let's suppose that listening post spook is right, and this bug is some new rebel project. Surely they would not be so careless as to leave a trail pointing straight towards their destination? If I were them, I would order the ship in a random direction, and then change course after jumping to hyperspace."
"Yes. The rebels may be scum, but they aren't stupid," agreed Captain Waed.
"Excuse me sirs," called the senior sensor officer. "There are four candidate systems along the extrapolated course, but one in particular is a standout, at least in the opinion of the technicians. I'll let them explain." He waved his hand at a technician in the pit, who stood up nervously at his post.
"Yes sir. This system, called Dagobah, has a new time stamp, but other attributes in the profile show the planet has been known for centuries. This has all the earmarks of a scrubbed system. That is to say, someone made a determined effort to eliminate all official record of its existence."
"Who could do such a thing?" asked the Captain, outraged at the idea.
"Almost anyone with the right clearance, sir. That would include various government agencies, some members of the academic community; even the old Jedi Council would have had that kind of access."
"Now hang on," said Galicia. "If the information was 'scrubbed,' then why is it showing up now?"
"Well sir, the fact is it's practically impossible to truly get rid of anything. Besides the official Imperial records, there are tie-ins to hundreds of independently maintained data repositories all over the galaxy, and information is exchanged on a regular basis. Eliminate records in one area, and eventually the gap is discovered and back-filled from one of the other repositories. Whoever did this was smart. They didn't just delete Imperial records; they deleted records in at least a dozen of the most heavily used independent repositories as well. I would estimate this system has been off-record for at least twenty standard cycles, maybe longer."
"Ah ha!" said the Captain nodding at the implications. "This Dagobah is starting to sound like a rebel hideout."
"Yes," said Galicia, as he looked at his Captain with growing excitement. "And if the rebels think their destination is not on record, they might not bother with evasive tactics." He smiled. "Shall we pay them a visit?"
"Indeed, Mr. Galicia," said Captain Waed, smiling back. "Set course for Dagobah. It's time we went bug hunting."