Chapter 7: Coping Mechanism

Early the next morning, Xev awoke to the sound of a moth flying overhead. She had slept by the fire, same as before, and Stanley in the damaged moth to escape the flies. Before going to sleep last night, she had taken the time to rub out any remaining traces of her clothes by the fire. She didn't need the reminder. Starting today, she was going to look forward, not back.

She jumped up with a whoop and waved her arms overhead in greeting. The moth chirped as it circled lower. She could make out Kai, who gave a small wave out the window. Kai swung the moth around, and landed it neatly beside the damaged moth. Xev ran up to the moth just as Kai was opening the canopy.

"Hi Kai!" Xev exclaimed, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Hello Xev," said Kai, jumping down to the ground. Xev wrapped her arms around Kai in a bear hug, pressing up against him as hard as she could, and gave Kai a kiss on the lips. Kai did not respond at all, which disappointed Xev.

Xev, stepped back and waved to herself with a flourish. "How do you like my new look Kai?" She held out her arms, and turned around slowly, giving Kai a full review of her new status. "I'm clothed in my own skin now. I think it's an improvement, don't you?"

"You look well Xev," Kai stated flatly, and started to turn away.

Xev was disappointed in Kai's lack of response and tried one more time. "Oh come on Kai. Don't you find it the least bit interesting to see me… naked?" To emphasize the point, she puffed up her chest and turned back and forth. Xev didn't really like using the word "naked," but she was eager for at least some small flicker of interest from Kai.

Kai did not even glance down at her. "No," replied Kai. "The dead do not care about such things. But… you do look well."

"Well I for one find it very interesting to see you naked," said Stanley, having overheard the tail-end of the conversation as he walked up. He held his arms out wide. "Do I get a hug? You know, the guy with a pulse?"

SLAP! "Ow!" howled Stanley, "What was that for?"

"Don't say naked," Xev hissed.

"But you said 'naked' to Kai," he protested.

SLAP! "You don't get to say naked."

"Okay! Okay! I get it," said Stanley, holding his cheek.

"So, what do you see when you see me?" Xev asked in a dangerous tone.

"I see… you?" Stanley replied hesitantly.

"Go on…."

"And you're, uh… looking healthy?" Stanley braced for a slap.

"Thanks, but not what I'm looking for."

"Oh. Uh… nice new outfit?"

"Close enough," replied Xev. She stalked off to the campfire and sat down, back turned to Kai and Stanley.

"She was so nice yesterday," said Stanley, astonished. "I mean, sure, it was bad at first, but then she came back, she was making jokes, and she sat right next to me all wiggly and…" Stanley held out his hands. "…out there with the goods. And there was a hug."

"I suspect," said Kai, "She is having trouble coping. You will need to give her time. It is import to her to think of herself as dressed. I suggest you do the same."

"And speaking of dresses…. Let's see. We're strangers in a strange galaxy. Dagobah is not exactly a thriving metropolis. We have no money, and nothing to trade. I suppose we could threaten somebody's planet…" Kai frowned at the suggestion. "…but I think even Xev would agree it's a bit much to blow up a planet just to get a dress. So where does that leave us?"

"We could try making a dress," replied Kai.

"How?"

"There are dead cluster lizards on the Lexx. We can search the Lexx, and check the condition of the hides. With luck, we may be able to harvest enough material to make a new dress."

"A new cluster lizard dress?" Stanley clapped his hands together. "Now we're talking. Yeah, just skin a couple of cluster lizards and sew the pieces together. I mean, how hard can it be?"

"It will not be that easy," replied Kai.

"Oh," Stanley said, crestfallen. "Well, we have to try. We owe it to Xev. But meanwhile, I need to return to the Lexx. Get it pointed in another direction for feeding. Why don't you come with? We can talk some more about the dress idea."

"What about Xev?" Kai asked. She was still sitting with her back turned.

"Uh, why don't you go ask her Kai? She might bite my head off." Stanley watched from the relative safety of the moths as Kai conferred with Xev, and then returned.

"She says she will stay here for the time being. She asked me to remind you of your deal."

Stanley clutched at his jumpsuit. "Okay. I have no problem with Xev staying here, wild, free, and… dressed for the occasion. Let's go."

Xev turned to watch as the moth took off. After the disaster, Stanley had been amazingly supportive, and by the time she went to sleep last night, she was almost feeling back to her old self. Then Stanley just had to be a jerk this morning. Now she was regretting her decision to continue her "new look" for the time being, but she had made a deal, and she was determined to see it through. For the time being she would be patient and not let Stanley get under her skin. "Ha! Under my skin. What else can he get under but my skin?" she said morosely to herself.

About this time, Yoda had walked up to Xev and was waiting patiently for her to notice. She looked up and said, "Good morning," in a quiet voice.

"Come, come," said Yoda, motioning. "Much to learn you have."

"About the Force?" Xev said hopefully.

"About plants," Yoda replied. "Keep feeding you, I cannot. Learn to forage, you must. Teach you I will."

Xev laughed. "You are ever so right. Thank you." With that, she got up and together they walked into the forest. Yoda began to point out plants here and there: fruits, nuts and berries Xev could eat along the way; plants that could be harvested for their leaves and stems; vegetables and roots that were edible after cooking. There was so much to learn! She hoped she could remember it all.

A couple of hours later, Xev and Yoda returned to camp and began roasting some potato-like roots for a midday meal. They had been busy the entire time talking about plants, and Yoda promised to show her even more tomorrow. As the conversation wound down, it occurred to Xev she had quite forgotten she was naked. Because she had forgotten, she hadn't felt self-conscience. And with that came a realization: all her brave talk about her "new look," being "clothed in her own skin" and similar comments was not really helping. It's just another reminder my clothes are gone, she thought. So really, the way to handle being naked was to stop obsessing about it. Just put it out of my mind. And she had already done that today without any effort while she was focused on the plants. Was she unclothed? Or course. That was a simple truth and there was no escaping that. But that didn't mean she had to be naked; at least, not in her head. Just keep busy. Xev reached out with a stick to turn over the potato-roots. I can do this, Xev thought. I can get by. And that gave her a warm feeling that had nothing to do with the fire.

That afternoon, as Xev was swimming in the good pond, she heard the sound of a moth flying by. That's twice in one day, she thought. Xev climbed out and ran all the way back to the main clearing, droplets of water streaming off her body as she went. The moth had landed. Kai was talking to Yoda, and Stanley was unloading several large bottles from the moth. Curious, she went over to the moth to see what was going on.

"Hi Stanley," she said as she walked up.

"Oh hi Xev. Didn't see you there." Stanley turned around from the moth and took in Xev. "So… is that a wetsuit?"

"A what?" said Xev, momentarily nonplused. "No, I'm just wet, that's all. Okay?"

"Okay," replied Stanley, unsure of what to say. Then he brightened. "Hey Xev, do you mind if we take your boots back to the Lexx? You're not using them after all." He had a slightly strained smile, which raised Xev's suspicions.

"And why do you want them?" she asked warningly.

"Oh, hey, nothing bad. We just want to examine them. And have 790 scan them too. Your boots will not be harmed. And when we're finished, we can either bring them back here, or store them in your sleeping chamber. Your choice."

"I'm still not sure why you want them." Xev said, but with less suspicion.

"Well, we have an idea, and examining the boots is part of it. If you don't mind, I'd rather not say yet, because we don't know if this idea will pan out. But I won't lie to you Xev. It's going to take a lot of time to figure this out. Weeks probably." Stanley gave a weak smile, and nervously clutched at his jumpsuit.

Xev gave it some thought. "All right Stanley, you can have the boots. Just put them in my sleeping chamber when you're done. Weeks huh…." Xev thought about her earlier epiphany. I can do this. "You're asking for a lot of time there…. Tell you what. I'll give you a week to get started, at the end of which I want to see what you're doing. If I approve, you can have more time, but I'm not promising weeks."

"Thanks Xev! That's great!" Stanley exclaimed with great relief. He took a step forward, arms out, and hesitated.

"No hugs." Stanley looked a little disappointed. "And Stanley," Xev said, waving to herself. "Look at me." She waited until Stanley focused. "This is not a fashion statement, this is not an outfit, this is not a new look, nor this is a suit, wet, dry, or otherwise, and this is not clothing. I am a person. I am still Xev, the same Xev you've always known. But never, ever call me naked." With that, Xev turned on her heel and marched over to the campfire.

"I'm so confused," Stanley said as he watched her go.