Chapter 8: Back to the Lexx
Xev looked excitedly out the canopy of the moth, trying to make out the sights through the driving rain. Kai was flying with a steady hand on the control. Two days ago, it had rained for the first time since they arrived on Dagobah. Yoda said six days without rain on Dagobah was a drought. When the rain came that day, Xev spent most of the afternoon dancing around the clearing, turning this way and that, enjoying the sensation of the rain. It brought back that euphoric feeling she experienced when she went for her very first swim. For the past few days, focusing on day-to-day living brought with it many long hours of not thinking about her loss. But while dancing in the rain on day six, she felt truly connected to Dagobah. She hoped the feeling would last.
Although the grass had been wet, it wasn't muddy, and the temperature had not changed significantly. Dagobah was still very warm and thrilling for Xev. She simply bedded down in the wet grass that night and considered it just another experience. The next morning, the sun came out and began to dry things out, making it hot and as humid as a sauna. Xev didn't mind, but poor Stanley looked like he would melt, his jumpsuit damp and clinging. She suggested he follow her example, take it off and get some relief, but he insisted he was fine. She thought Stanley was being ridiculous. Xev was adapting to life on Dagobah.
The next day the rain came back, and this time it wasn't any fun. If she had felt connected, this time Dagobah seemed determined to break that connection. She couldn't keep the fire going, and her grassy "nest" where she had been sleeping had turned into a muddy mush. So she retreated to the damaged moth, and put in a call to the Lexx. And here was Kai, taking her back for the first time since they arrived.
The rain began to let up as they approached, allowing her to glimpse the Lexx and the kilometers long path of destruction that stretched out as far as she could see. That had been a shock, but at least the Lexx had declared itself full two days ago, and was now simply parked. Yoda said Dagobah was resilient, and within ten years you would never know the Lexx had been there. She hoped that was true.
The moth flew in through the airlock and out of the rain. They circled the landing pad and settled down. Stanley was on hand, holding 790. And that was when Xev had her panic attack, heart pounding wildly. The open landing pad had a public-space feel that, in a rush, made her acutely aware she had no clothes. Xev snapped her fingers at Stanley. "Jumpsuit!" she managed. 790 was blathering on about how much he loved her and missed her – she couldn't really take it in. Stanley started to protest, but saw the expression on her face and did as he was told, which left him standing there in a raggedy old pair of skivvies. She quickly stepped into the jumpsuit and zipped it up.
"So Xev. What are your plans for my jumpsuit?" Stanly asked nervously.
"Your jumpsuit?" Xev replied. "I'll let you know what I plan to do with my…" she emphasized the word "…new jumpsuit. See you later." Xev walked off the landing pad with as much speed as dignity would allow. Once she was out of sight, she ducked into an unused service corridor, quickly took off the jumpsuit and kicked it away from her. It was unbelievably itchy! How could Stanley stand to wear the thing? Clearly, the lowest-level security guards back on the Cluster got the worst clothing. It was completely unacceptable. Her cluster lizard dress never felt anything like that.
Now Xev had a problem – she didn't want Stanley to know she didn't like the jumpsuit. She picked it up and peeked around the corner. Could she make a run for the showers without being caught, or would she have to put it on again? She decided it was worth the risk, and went sneaking down the corridor, holding the nasty jumpsuit out as far away from her body as she could. She made it to the showers without incident, dropped the jumpsuit, hopped into a stall and tried to wash away the itchy feeling. The water soothed her skin, and soon she was feeling better. She considered her options. From here, she could easily go to her sleeping chamber without wearing the jumpsuit, no questions asked. Or, she could try going back to the landing pad and face her panic. Everyone should be gone by now.
She picked up the jumpsuit once again, and considered putting it back on before leaving. No, it was just too itchy. She would risk not wearing it. Once more she went down the corridor, pausing every few meters to listen for voices. She made it to the landing pad, and looked around. She didn't feel so bad this time. Xev slowly walked out until she was standing dead center. Still no panic. Then she realized she was still holding the jumpsuit. I bought a security blanket with me. She ran back to the entrance, threw the jumpsuit as far away as she could and then turned around. Walking slowly, she again moved out to the center of the landing pad. Okay, that's not so bad. I've got it under control now.
"I believe you dropped this."
Xev practically leapt out of her skin. "Kai! Oh, hello. I didn't know you were here."
"Are you feeling better now?" asked Kai. "I had noticed you seemed to be having difficulty."
"Yes Kai, I am. Thanks."
"If you like, I can stay with you."
"Thanks, but this is something I have to work out for myself. I'm not really sure why I panicked."
"Perhaps," said Kai, "You should try reacquainting yourself with the Lexx."
"Good idea. I will," agreed Xev.
Kai held up the jumpsuit. "Do you want this back?"
"NO! That is to say, I'm finished with it now. Could you return it to Stanley? Tell him thanks for the tryout. It has given me ideas on how to modify it." She looked down at herself and realized tiny red spots were starting to show. "Hey Kai? Before you go, are there red spots on my back?"
"Hold out your arms." Kai walked around Xev. "There are spots all over your body, but they are not evenly distributed. The greatest concentration is on your shoulders and back, and the fewest on your forearms and below the knees." Kai held up the jumpsuit. "The pattern is consistent with this."
"Oh Kai! Please don't tell Stanley. I don't want him to know yet."
Kai simply nodded and left. What a strange reaction, she thought. She didn't want anything touching her skin until it recovered, and until it did she wanted to avoid running into Stanley. With nothing better to do, she decided to follow Kai's reacquainting advice, and began exploring the less frequented areas of the Lexx.
The next morning, Stanley didn't hear Xev as she padded onto the bridge with bare feet. She was feeling a lot better, and the mysterious spots were gone. "Morning Stanley."
"Morning Xev – whoa!" said Stanley jumping back a little. "Sorry. You know, I was more or less starting to get used to you, being, well, you, out there…." He jerked his thumb to indicate Dagobah. "…but here it threw me for a loop."
"Yeah, old habits," Xev replied. "When I woke up this morning, first thing I did was look for my clothes. Oops, no clothes. Then after my shower, I started to head back to my sleeping chamber to dress. Oops again. So I came here instead."
790 came rolling in on its cart. "Xev! Woman of my dreams, I will always love you no matter what. Tweedle you insensitive clod! Give Xev your jumpsuit immediately!"
"NO!" Xev and Stanley shouted simultaneously. They looked at each other.
"I mean," said Xev, trying to recover, "we have a deal. Except for me trying it on for size yesterday, Stanley gets to keep his jumpsuit for a week, and the week isn't over, right Stanley?"
"That's right Xev," declared Stanley, relived she was on his side.
"After all," said Xev, as she stepped up to Stanley and began to brush imaginary lint off his shoulder. "We wouldn't want to be… premature… would we?" She stopped brushing to examine her fingers, and leaned in closer to look Stanley directly in the eyes.
"No," gritted Stanley, who was struggling to not step back.
"Right then," said Xev and turned away. Stanley let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. Hmm, thought Xev as she examined her fingernails, he stood his ground. I must be losing my touch.
"But Xev darling," said 790. "Deals with Tweedle don't count! You can make him give you his jumpsuit. I know you've got it in you!"
Xev leaned over and patted 790 on the head. "Yes I could 790. But a deal works both ways. You wouldn't want me to be known as a deal-breaker, would you? I wouldn't be able to make deals with anyone else."
"But it's just Tweedle my sweet! No one should keep a deal with him! I wouldn't!"
"But 790," Xev said, and leaned in even closer, whispering. "It's driving him absolutely crazy. Just look at Stanley. He's a wreck. He can't even look this way while I'm bent over." She stood up.
"Oooo," said 790. "Stick to the deal Xev! Stick to the deal!" 790 turned towards Stanley. "Hey security guard. Take all the time you need with your little project. Haste makes waste." And with that, 790 rolled off the bridge whistling.
"Thanks for backing me up Xev." Stanley nervously played with the zipper on his jumpsuit. "And I really, really appreciate how patient and understanding you've been. I honestly don't know how well I'd hold up if our roles were reversed. You seem to be managing really well."
"Why thank you Stanley. I did agree to give you a week, and in his own way 790 is right about not being too hasty. But I won't be patient forever. Our roles could very well reverse." Xev paused to look Stanley up and down. "Nice jumpsuit."
Stanley gulped. "So hey! Xev, it's not been a full week yet, but would you like to see what we've been up to so far? There isn't much to show yet, I'm afraid."
Xev smiled. "Lead the way." Stanley led Xev to a room not far from the cryochamber. A crud workbench had been set up, and there were a series of open bottles. Through dark liquid, Xev could just make out pieces of something floating in each bottle.
"This is it?" she asked, disappointed.
"Now, now. Let me explain," said Stanley. "These…" He pointed to the bottles. "…are pieces of cluster lizard skin."
"Cluster lizard? You found a cluster lizard? Oh Stanley!" Xev squealed with delight and gave Stanley a bear hug. Stanley turned bright red but held up. "This is so much better than I imagined!" Xev exclaimed. "I figured you were trying to sew a bunch of leaves together; something that might last a week before falling apart. And be itchy," she said, thinking about the jumpsuit.
"Well, more like half a cluster lizard. Less really. These pieces were about all we could collect."
Xev looked at the bottles again. "So what is that? Maybe enough for a loincloth if I go topless?"
"I can live with that," Stanley said with a grin. "But no. Kai is still searching the Lexx for more cluster lizards. There were several on the Lexx when we left the Cluster. They have to be somewhere. This is really just a test run while the search continues."
"What is that stuff?" Xev said, pointing at the bottles.
"Swamp water," replied Stanley. "It turns out swamps have tannic acid, and Dagobah is one big swamp. These have been boiled down to increase the concentration of tannic acid. We're using it to treat the skins. Each bottle has a different concentration. Kai knows the details. And as for your boots…" Stanley said with a smile, "…they're not cluster lizard, but they are leather. We were hoping an examination of them would provide some guidance on what the end result should be like."
"Wow," said Xev, her eyes glowing. "I'm actually impressed. I had figured I would be taking your jumpsuit by the end of the week. But this has real possibilities." Xev turned and gave Stanley a second hug and kissed him on the cheek. "I have to admit, I wasn't planning to put up with this for much longer. But for a real cluster lizard dress? Oh yeah, I can wait." Xev turned and went happily skipping out of the room and down the hall, leaving behind a slightly stunned Stanley.
"Two hugs in one day," mused Stanley. "I can get used to that."