Hi guys, Calborghete here, how are you all? I hope everyone is doing well.

Don't forget to like the page on Facebook, the direct link can be found on my Fanfiction profile page, or if you prefer search for "Calborghete" and locate an image of Shinji and Asuka. On this page I will post updates and it will also be easier for you to contact me.

So now without further ado, enjoy your reading.

"Dialogues"

- Thoughts -

"Radio Talk"

"Self talk."

Liability Note:

Evangelion, its characters and setting are the property of Hideaki Anno. Any brands, movies and series mentioned in this Fanfic are the property of their creators.

(*)

Chapter 13 - Paranoia II

A week had already passed, Shinji was in his cell looking at nothing, only sinking further into his troubled mind, but a sound brought him out of his personal self-destruction.

Looking at the door of his cell opening, Shinji watched as a single person entered, scanning with his eyes the body of this person, soon Shinji's eyes fell on the woman inside, he had a faint memory of her.

"Ma'am ... With all due respect, I can't leave you alone." The guard spoke apprehensively, exchanging glances between Mari and Shinji who was lying on the bed watching everything.

"I know." Mari spoke with a smile, soon her eyes fell on Shinji who was staring at her with tired, puzzled eyes. "He won't hurt me."

"I know but ... You weren't even supposed to be here." The man spoke anxiously.

"Oh, how cute, worried about me?" Mari spoke smiling to the guard who blushed, Mari knew very well how to manipulate people to get what she wanted.

"Madam ... Your presence is important to Wunder, if anything happens to you I am a dead man." Spoke the guard nervously.

"I know." Mari spoke as she showed her tongue, she liked being important, but she had to do something about Shinji and she already knew what, "But don't worry, he won't hurt me."

The man just nodded and left, closing the door behind him, Mari waited a few seconds before starting to speak.

"Hello puppy."

Shinji only watched as Mari leaned on the wall, she knew it would be tinny and difficult to talk to him. "How are you?"

Shinji turned his gaze to the ceiling, with a bored sigh he spoke weakly. "They must be pretty desperate, haven't I already given them what they wanted?"

Mari gave her best smile, lowering herself to the floor and sitting down, she spoke dismissively. "Nya ... They don't know I'm here."

Shinji only turned his gaze to Mari and stared at her puzzled. "What do you want? Have you come to take revenge?"

Mari gave a weak laugh, but soon she adjusted in her seat. "I want to know how you are?"

"Are you blind?" Shinji retorted annoyed, not liking that he was being held back from self-pity. "But answering your question, I'm fine."

Mari only observed Shinji's face and body, she could see that he was lying. "We took Unit 01, it was where you said it was."

"Well, is that all you wanted to talk about?" Shinji acidly retorted.

"No, I wanted to meet you." Mari spoke dismissively as she looked at her nails, watching Shinji's gaze travel slightly between her and the ceiling. "Officially at least."

"I don't want to meet you." Shinji replied rudely, but deep down he was feeling that he had seen and heard that voice somewhere before.

"You say that now." Mari wasn't taking anything personally; she already knew Shinji would play hard to get. "Gee you're no fun ... Is that how you talk to girls?"

Shinji only rolled his eyes, with a quick movement, he adjusted himself on the bed and sat up, feeling his head spinning with the quick movement, but he recovered quickly. "Speak up, what do you want?"

Mari smiled like a cat. "You know puppy, you not so good." Mari watched Shinji's face change and falter. "You get this tough guy pose and all, but I can see your theater, you accuse everyone of being faking it, but the one who is faking it is you."

"You don't know anything about me." Shinji growled at Mari.

"Oh puppy I know ... I know you don't want to accept that Misato and Asuka care about you, you want to keep playing the victim here and you don't want to accept the opportunity that's in front of you."

Shinji felt very confused, he looked at Mari's face with a slight smile on his face, his mind was screaming to explode, but Mari's words had paralyzed him. "They don't care."

Mari gave a muffled laugh, but kept her gaze on Shinji at all times. "If they wanted you dead, you'd be dead already." Mari saw Shinji's face falter again, knowing she was hitting a nerve.

"You keep saying you've been abandoned, I don't deny it, they made mistakes before and they made ugly ones, but they're really trying, I've never seen Katsuragi struggle so hard to think of a way to get close to you again and Asuka then, she has that pose and all but ... I can see she's thinking about you, her nightmares prove it."

Shinji was paralyzed in place, Mari had managed to make him speechless, he could only listen.

"You're screaming at yourself, but that's reality and you're going to have to accept it one day, because if you want to fix things a little bit." Mari signaled with her fingers, keeping millimeters apart. "That's the time, if you waste it and literally send them to hell, you really will go back to that cell."

Shinji felt his breathing quicken, the conversation he had had with Kaji had come back strongly, that day he had told Shinji to give it another chance and so far he hadn't, but his sick head didn't want to accept it. "But they didn't give me a chance!"

Mari only nodded. "Yes, we didn't give you a chance, but you won't be any different if you do the same, you'll make a mistake along with them and that's worse, because you'd know you could have fixed things a little and you didn't." Mari paused for breath, but she could see that Shinji was thinking about her words, "And that's a big mistake, worse than your escape from Wunder two years ago."

Getting up and seeing Shinji's stunned look, Mari spoke as she turned around. "It would be good for you to get your head on straight again, for with this world." Mari stopped as she gestured with her hands. "It's only a matter of time before he goes into space."

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked confused. "You guys are doing just fine without me."

Mari only gave a smile, she was managing to get Shinji where she wanted him. "Look around puppy, do you think that with only two EVAS we can counter NERV? He has a big advantage over us ... Think long and hard son." Mari spoke as she turned and stopped on her back.

"If you want to go back to prison, that is your decision, but when the world ends for good, remember that you could have done something and if you omit yourself, really this time it will be your fault."

Shinji lowered his gaze and squeezed the space between his eyes, Mari's words had hit him hard.

Mari smiled internally, knowing she had succeeded, she only gave the door a light knock and saw it opening, but before she left, she turned and looked Shinji in the eye. "Look at me puppy."

Mari watched Shinji lift his gaze and face her, Mari spoke with a smile. "Misato and Asuka care about you, only you don't want to see it ... Think carefully before you make any decisions, because now is really your last chance."

With that the door closed and he watched as he was again alone in the cell, but this time it was not his thoughts that flooded his mind, but Mari's words.

"Shit." Shinji spoke as he lay down and stared at the ceiling, this was all a lot for him to deal with with his tired mind, but unlike before, he didn't have sleep to help him.

The ticking sound of the clock on the wall echoed through the cell, with each beat of the hand, Shinji's mind launched another memory, and each time the hand moved more agony fed into Shinji.

Lying with his hand on his head, Shinji didn't know how long he had been lying in the same position, he only stared at the lifeless ceiling of his cell at Wunder, only the movement of his breathing was the only sign that he was alive.

For the people who had access to his cell, they could see his condition, having all his drained strength removed from his body, his eyes were dull, lifeless, heavy dark circles hovered over his face, results of the lack of sleep that plagued his body this week that he was imprisoned in Wunder's cell.

"They don't care." Shinji whispered to the ceiling as he remembered Mari's words.

"From now on, you won't do anything." Misato's voice echoed through Shinji's mind, again bringing back the first time they had seen each other after twelve years.

"They don't care." Shinji again whispered to the ceiling, with only his mind for company.

"Shut up and die." Asuka's voice echoed through Shinji's mind, remembering when they clashed on central dogma.

"That is a burden I will carry for you." The voice and Kaworu echoed through Shinji's mind, closing his eyes tightly as he remembered the moment he had heard this, remembering vividly when Kaworu removed the choker from his neck and placed it on himself.

"Kaworu." Shinji whispered his late friend's name, knowing he had suffered from his punishment, Kaworu had received the punishment reserved for him, after so many years in silence, his first act after awakening was to cause more harm to his friends. "I'm sorry Kaworu."

Shinji closed his eyes as he remembered the saddest moment since his return when the red crystal rings spun, knowing that this was the end of his friend who had been the only person to value him, squeezing harder as his mind flooded with the moment the choker activated.

Feeling his breathing beginning to quicken, Shinji tried with all his strength not to remember the moment, but as usual he failed, visualizing in detail when the choker released a yellow light and closed, sending his friend's head in all directions.

"You didn't deserve that Kaworu." Shinji growled as he kept his eyes closed, fighting back the tears that wanted to come out, but he wasn't going to cry. "That was my punishment, not yours."

"Of course it was." His mind spoke with a sadistic smile. "You did nothing to stop him."

"No ... I didn't want that." Shinji spoke as he opened his eyes and sat up in bed, bringing his hands to his head and clasping them tightly in hopes that he could force those memories and the voice away.

"Of course I wanted to." Again his mind spoke, feeling as if it was someone else talking to him, this person who was talking to Shinji. "You always send the responsibility to others."

Shinji only clutched his head tighter, he was desperately seeking answers, having this kind of mental debate before. "No ... I ... I couldn't stop Kaworu."

Shinji reopened his eyes as he felt himself beginning to gasp slightly. "He didn't give me a chance ... He only removed the choker."

"And you did nothing!". The inner voice shouted with intensity, flash of memory lit up Shinji's mind, showing when Kaworu put the choker on himself that day. "You knew it was for you and yet you allowed him to put it on ... If you really cared about him, you never would have let him."

Shinji's eyes widened as he remembered, really his mind was right, he was so focused on self-consumption than seeing reality, he was so focused on crying on the wall than seeing reality, his friend had a bomb around his neck and all he cared about was crying.

"You are a whiner, nothing but a big coward." His mind spoke forcefully, knowing that this would surely affect him with great proportions. "You only care about yourself, but would you really have understood them?"

Shinji at this point began to think, fantasizing about the possibility that he never left Wunder, that he stayed and listened to everything they had to say.

"I ... I would have." Shinji spoke as he shook his head. "I would have ... I would have understood."

"I wouldn't have." His mind spoke with disgust. "You would have cried and screamed and not believed it."

"No!" Shinji spoke more forcefully. "Yes I would, I would have given anything to be with them again."

Shinji waited for the answer, he was still shaking his head, trying all the time what he was going to be bombarded with, but that voice never came. This was puzzling Shinji's mind, since his capture these moments were getting worse, with each passing day, the more his mind tortured him.

"What's happening to me?" Shinji wondered as he sat up, feeling his body becoming dizzy with the sudden movement, already weakened by the extreme lack of sleep that plagued him along with poor nutrition.

Feeling his stomach refusing to eat, but not because Shinji didn't want to eat, his stomach ached as he demanded food, but something blocked this action, every time he took a spoon to his mouth, a needle seemed to penetrate his head, forcing it as deep as it could, bringing cruel images into his head.

"I don't deserve the food." Shinji spoke into nothingness as he collapsed back onto the bed, "I don't deserve anything."

"Hahaha ... You're making me sick from laughing so hard." His mind laughed, Shinji could swear he could hear the laughter, as if a person was standing next to him laughing openly. "You don't even look like that person who captured the SEELES."

Shinji nodded to nothingness, only taking his greatest bitterness at having been captured. "I failed."

"I failed as usual, I will always be a failure at everything I put my hands on." Shinji spoke dejectedly. "I am not needed."

"Of course it isn't." His mind spoke dismissively. "The dream you had a few days ago showed the reality in here."

Shinji gave a long sigh, but he didn't say anything.

"They already got what they wanted." His inner voice spoke boredly. "You will rot alone."

"Alone." Shinji whispered as he again faced the ceiling of his cell. "Like all monsters and murderers."

"We are finally coming to an agreement." His mind spoke with a smile.

"I've always seen myself like this." Shinji spoke as he gave a small cough, he was managing to control the urge to cough well, the filtered air from Wunder was helping.

"Misato." Shinji spoke as he looked up at the ceiling, still not knowing why he was having such a relapse, his opinions before were so strong and determined, Shinji now felt himself returning to his old self. "Asuka."

"Why am I like this? Why can't I go back to being my old self, the guy who didn't care?" Shinji wondered as he looked at the ceiling harder, this question was hovering in his mind with great importance. "The guy who was brave, the guy who wasn't afraid to get into a fight."

Shinji closed his eyes again, searching for the answers he so desperately wanted, but as always they never came, giving a heavy sigh, Shinji concentrated on his mind, listening to every echo of thought.

Trapped within the memories, Shinji was lost in his thoughts, trying desperately to return to the old days, but every time he thought of Asuka or Misato, he remembered the faces.

"From now on, you will do nothing." Misato's voice echoed through Shinji's mind again.

Shinji grimaced slightly, knowing that this was their true opinion of him.

"My biggest regret was that I brought you into my life." Misato's voice spoke, but not the real Misato, but the one from the dream.

"That ... Remember." His mind spoke as he smiled. "Don't delude yourself with smiles and empty words."

Shinji felt the anger beginning to build up inside him, knowing that it was all just a big theater.

"You may think that, but I care about you, always have." Shinji abruptly reopened his eyes as he remembered Misato's words the day they met, breaking his anger for a few seconds.

"You guys don't care, it was just a big theater." Shinji growled at the ceiling.

"Now you're thinking straight." The voice spoke smiling, feeling happy that his words were getting Shinji back to the way he was. "They don't care about you, they never have."

Shinji again closed his eyes, tiredness from lack of sleep was taking its toll, and the toll was too much, every muscle in his body was crying out for rest.

Feeling his body calming down, Shinji wanted to give thanks as he felt he could finally sleep.

Feeling his body entering the dream world, Shinji was about to let himself relax, for even a few hours, Shinji begged to himself.

"Monster!"

"Murderer!"

"Die!"

"You can die I wouldn't even care!"

Shinji opened his eyes as he heard his thoughts, he looked around and could see that he was in the cell at Wunder, looking at the clock on the wall, showing that he had managed to fall asleep for only an hour.

Feeling his breathing quicken at the words, Shinji felt his body sweat, knowing that again his mind would not let him sleep, having the words repeat themselves in his mind with each breath his chest took.

Closing himself in the fetal position, Shinji clenched his legs tightly and pleaded to himself. "Leave me alone ... Leave me alone! ... I just want to get some sleep."

"I won't let you." His mind spoke smiling, feeling agony that Shinji's body was highly elevated, the stress he was dealing with now surpassed any level considered normal.

"Go away!" Shinji growled to himself, bringing his hands to his ears in hopes that he could make the voices and faces go away.

"No." His guilt spoke with a smile. "I will always be with you, nothing you do will make me leave ... I am you, I am the freak, the killer and the monster."

"Go away." Shinji spoke as he squeezed his head tighter. "I'm not a monster."

"Yes you are!" His guilt screamed as he brought back the faces of the people he loved, Asuka's look of anger, Misato's look of disdain and disappointment. "You already know what you are, nothing will change that, we are a monster."

"Pilot the EVA Shinji." His father's cold voice spoke in his head, bringing up all the feelings he had towards his father, images of his notebook with his plan came into his mind, all his motivation had returned, showing why he was still alive.

"I will find you old and when I do, I will kill you." Shinji growled as he got the mental image of Gendo in his head.

SOUND OF THE DOOR BEING UNLOCKED.

Shinji was silent, he just turned and stared at the door, he could still hear whispers coming from the other side, already knowing what this could mean, he just waited for the door to open completely.

Mentally preparing himself to again have to face Misato's gaze, but when the door was opened, two armed guards entered, they carried two rifles in their hands, both stared at Shinji coldly.

Seeing the eyes of the soldiers, Shinji could feel the feeling, knowing that these people wanted him dead, he just stared at the two with a strong look, not flinching, but his mind soon screamed, knowing that they were in this world because of him.

But before Shinji opened his mouth to speak, his eyes fell on the person who entered together, remembering about the DSS choker, Shinji watched as Ritsuko entered his cell, she still maintained her cold posture and her disdainful look as she faced Shinji.

"Hi Shinji." Ritsuko spoke the same sentence as Misato, but her tone was cold and with disinterest, she carried a plastic package in one hand, in the other she held a tablet with the workings of Wunder.

"Hello Akagi." Shinji spoke with venom in his voice, remembering the utter disdain when talking about the choker in his awakening. "Bored?"

Ritsuko stared at him with disdain, she had heard how Shinji's conversation with Misato had gone, but unlike her friend, she was not easily intimidated, raising her arm and tossing the plastic package to Shinji.

Seeing Shinji take the package, Ritsuko was keeping a cool and calculated outer posture, but inside she took a good look at Shinji, seeing how weak he was showing, she didn't need to be a doctor to tell that he wasn't sleeping or eating, but what had gained her attention the most was the strong scar on his cheek.

"Put it on." Ritsuko spoke as she lowered her gaze and read some information on her tablet, but soon her eyes returned to Shinji, who maintained his posture at all times, giving Shinji a confused look.

"What for?" Shinji spoke as he looked at the garment inside the package, Shinji was currently wearing a set of gray clothes, the same shade he wore when he first awakened in Wunder.

"Obey brat!" One of the guards growled upon seeing Shinji not obeying at the first order he had received.

Ritsuko was about to speak, but she noticed the change in Shinji's posture, she was going to say almost the same thing, but her analytical mind wanted to see what reaction Shinji would have.

Shinji shifted his gaze to the guard who spoke to him, feeling his anger rising at being challenged, he responded by keeping his voice calm and controlled, giving a great effect on the men, showing that they didn't scare him. "Sorry ... But are you the boss? For I thought not."

Shinji watched as the man's face increased its scowl, he tightened his rifle and repeated. "Do you want to die?"

Shinji gave only an arrogant snort, but kept his posture at all times. "I would love to see you try."

Ritsuko only raised her eyebrow gently at Shinji's answers, she was amused to see the sudden change in his behavior, if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, Ritsuko would never have believed it.

"Hey, brat!" The soldier raised his rifle and aimed it at Shinji's head, hoping that Shinji would feel intimidated, but he could see that Shinji was not intimidated.

The other soldier was holding back his smile, he already had an opinion about Shinji, having captured the SEELES had earned Shinji a certain amount of admiration from some soldiers.

Ritsuko was about to say something when she saw her soldier pointing his gun at Shinji, but she was not prepared for what she heard from Shinji.

"Shoot." Shinji spoke dismissively, seeing everyone's gaze fall on him, Shinji continued with his strong posture, tilting his head slightly to the side as he smiled. "What? Scared?"

Ritsuko's eyes went from Shinji to his soldier, even his companion now had an apprehensive look on his face, Shinji gave a smile as he saw the soldier's change in posture, giving an arrogant and scary smile.

"Come on, you're going to be a hero."

Ritsuko swallowed dryly at Shinji's words, seeing his smile and his posture, all mixed with Shinji's physical form, it was making her scared, even if she didn't show it.

The armed guard was visibly shaking, he hadn't expected that Shinji would challenge him like this, he had expected him to be afraid, but not like this.

Ritsuko returned to her world as she ordered strongly, turning and looking at her subordinate hard. "Put that gun down, now!"

Hearing this order, the man gave a defeated sigh and obeyed, but keeping his gaze on Shinji at all times.

"Coward." Shinji spoke arrogantly as he locked his gaze on the soldier, changing from arrogant to disgusted. "Pathetic."

"Shinji, put on your new clothes." Ritsuko spoke with strength and authority.

"No." Shinji spoke dismissively as he returned the stare.

With a bored sigh, Ritsuko spoke. "Shinji ... WILLE's council wants to talk to you ... I will not hesitate to take it." Narrowing her eyes to give more authority with her speech. "So how will it be, the easy way or the hard way?"

Shinji stared hard at her, quickly exchanging looks with the two guards, one had a scowl on his face the other had an amused look on his face, knowing that there were most likely others outside.

"You're loving it aren't you?" Shinji spoke annoyed as he stared into Ritsuko's victorious gaze, but soon a thought popped into his mind.

- It was just theater, do or die. - Shinji spoke annoyed as he opened the package and removed the clothing, it was black and of a single set, it only had a zipper on the front that would close it. - Nobody cares. -

Removing his shirt, Shinji stared at Ritsuko, but his gaze frowned as his three visitors locked their eyes on his body.

- I hope you are satisfied, this is the result of your efforts. - Shinji thought annoyed.

Ritsuko watched as Shinji stood with his chest showing, feeling shocked at the amount of scars he had, she only wondered how he must have gotten them, because when Shinji had been given a physical examination shortly after his awakening twelve years ago, he had nothing.

About to remove his pants, Shinji turned and spoke to Ritsuko, "Would you excuse me?"

Ritsuko only gave a sigh as she turned away, the mental image of Shinji with his scars made her mind work, remembering when Asuka said that he classified the prison as hell, she only listened when the zipper of the new uniform had been zipped up.

(*)

A few moments earlier - Misato's office.

Misato was in her living room, she was with Mari, Asuka and Ritsuko, the women were discussing the situation they went through in the recovery of Unit 01, Misato was getting ready to start her talk with the council.

"Unit 01 is really strange." Mari spoke as she remembered the purple ray that came out of the ground, freeing her unit and giving it the space it needed to defeat the enemy.

"Unit 01 is complex." Ritsuko spoke as she raised her gaze from her tablet. "She has already gone through the awakening, but she still seems to be connected to Shinji in some way."

"What do you mean?" Misato asked annoyedly, her mind still machining how she was going to manage to interact with Shinji without an argument happening.

Asuka and Mari were also waiting for the answer, they wanted to know what Ritsuko's theory about Shinji and Unit 01 was.

"From the early days of NERV, Unit 01 has always been strange." Ritsuko began to speak, keeping her tone calm and professional. "Yui Ikari was the person who built it."

All the women exchanged quick glances, but Asuka was the first one who started to speak. "Yui Ikari? Shinji's mother?"

"Yes." Ritsuko replied as she lit a cigarette. "She was the one who built and did all the settings, since her death ... No one had been able to synchronize with Unit 01, Rei was slightly successful, but nothing able to make the EVA even activate."

A deadly silence reigned in the office, Ritsuko looked into the faces of all the women hoping that they had already understood her point, already knowing the secret she kept in the core of Unit 01.

"How ... How did Shinji's mother die?" Asuka asked as she had memories of her childhood, she was making a lot of effort not to bring this subject up, but something in her mind wished she could know.

"Yui Ikari offered to do a contact experiment, shortly after Unit 01 was completed." Ritsuko spoke somberly, she did not like to talk about Gendo's dead wife, having a fantasy of getting Gendo's heart someday.

"She entered the EVA core and never left."

Misato let out a sigh as she bowed her head, remembering Shinji's speech about his family, with a sigh she spoke. "Shinji knows?"

"I don't know." Ritsuko spoke, still not knowing that Fuyutsuki had already told her about Yui and Rei. "But he was there that day, Yui had taken her son to see the 'future'."

"Oh my God." Misato sighed as she bowed her head, knowing that Shinji had witnessed his mother's death. "No wonder he's full of trouble, mother dies in front of him and father abandons it soon after."

"The puppy has a shitty life." Mari spoke seriously, knowing that she should think very carefully about her words.

Asuka only nodded, knowing that Shinji had witnessed almost the same thing as her, both of them having their lives destroyed by the EVA, looking down with a downcast sigh. "Can we go?"

Misato looked at the old guard and spoke professionally. "No, the council wants your presence at today's meeting."

Asuka frowned, still not understanding why they wanted her at the meeting. "What do they want with us?" Asuka spoke as she and Mari gestured with her finger.

Mari just waited with anticipation if Misato would have an answer, but she only received silence, but her mind suspected that it had to do with Shinji, she hoped that her conversation in the morning might have helped him a little.

"Today will be the day they made their decision." Misato spoke as she held up her hands, she was clearly nervous, today would be the day Shinji would be a part of her life again or not. She didn't know if Shinji would cooperate. "They will want your opinion, if the deal happens, Shinji will fight alongside everyone."

Asuka let out a heavy sigh, she knew this was big. "Shit." She herself was not yet ready to talk to Shinji again.

"It'll be fun." Mari spoke smiling as she adjusted herself in the chair getting more comfortable.

A long silence reigned, but a call brought them out of their worlds.

"Ma'am, WILLE high command on the line." Hyuga spoke over the radio, Misato quickly exchanged a look with everyone before speaking.

"Go through to the conference room." Ordered Misato professionally as she stood up, she adjusted her coat and left, being followed by everyone.

Inside the room that wasn't very big but everyone could get comfortable, with a few button presses, the transmission of the high council began, Misato along with all of them saluted their superiors, soon General Yamamoto spoke tiredly.

"So ladies and gentlemen, today is the day." Yamamoto spoke knowing it would be a difficult meeting. "Let's cut to the chase, but let's discuss in a civilized manner! Shall we propose the agreement?"

Soon Colonel Anderson of the United States spoke up. "I believe so, we have to use all the resources available to us, NERV is getting stronger every day we discuss, the more they get stronger."

"No." The French colonel spoke with conviction. "We don't need the help of a criminal, we can solve this on our own."

"He could be useful." The German Colonel spoke up. "He can pilot Unit 01, no one else can."

"What about the clone?" Colonel Nikolai spoke for the first time.

Soon Yamamoto's eyes locked on Misato, she knew she must have tested for the Ayanami type before the meeting.

Misato gave a signal for Ritsuko to speak, she was better in these aspects. "This morning we did a synchronization test with the Ayanami type, but the results failed, Unit 01 didn't accept it."

Soon a set of whispers took over the meeting, Yamamoto raised his hand for order. "That's a problem, are you sure she hasn't closed up again?"

"No sir, in her recovery she activated and somehow contributed to the destruction of a Mark 09 model that was trying to take possession of her." Misato spoke professionally. "It may sound crazy, but I believe this Unit is helping WILLE."

"Why do you think that Colonel?" Colonel Nikolai asked puzzled.

"Simple, Shinji already piloted it, he saved Wunder from an onslaught in the recent past." Misato paused to look at the faces of the council as she recalled the report she had given. "And in her recovery, she could have reacted to our presence and she didn't, only attacked our enemy and then became inactive again."

Yamamoto only nodded, then his eyes returned to Colonel Nikolai.

Shaking his head, he thought about his answer, not liking what he was going to say. "Дерьмо (Shit) ... Fuck it, I vote for the deal."

Misato smiled internally, knowing that she had the support of the US, Russia and Germany, the most influential countries on the WILLE council, soon a series of debates reigned in the room, everyone on the council gave their opinions, heated debates took over the meeting, with General Yamamoto intervening quite often.

Mari was enjoying herself with the bickering and swearing, she noticed Asuka's gaze on her and asked with false modesty. "What?"

"What's so funny four eyes?" Asuka asked annoyed, still not able to understand why Mari didn't take anything seriously.

Mari widened her smile and spoke as she pointed to the screen containing the discussions. "That's politics."

"Alright shut up!" Ordered Yamamoto, soon a hush reigned, all eyes were on him, he would make the decision, Misato was clearly anxious, as were Mari and Asuka.

"Colonel Katsuragi ... What is your opinion? In fact he will be on your ship." Yamamoto asked with his steely gaze.

Misato swallowed dryly, it was now or never her mind spoke. "I believe we should make the deal, we don't have the firepower to do it alone and Shinji Ikari is a good pilot, his EVA is new practically and we're going to need the full force to win this war."

Yamamoto nodded, but soon his eyes fell on Mari and Asuka. "What about you Captains Shikinami and Makinami?"

Asuka stepped forward and spoke professionally, moistening her lips and thinking about her answer. "I've fought alongside Ikari before ... He'll be useful." Asuka felt her throat crying as she said that last part, still not wanting to admit that Shinji was a good pilot.

Mari approached and spoke smiling, with the greatest ease in the world. "I think it's good, it will be nice to have another arm in the fight, I trust he will do the right thing."

Yamamoto gave a shadow of a smile, he only put his hands together in front of his face, everyone waited for his word, pondering all the points brought up in the discussion, nodding as he made his decision. "Let's propose, bring Ikari here."

The council was divided between people agreeing and disagreeing, with the majority putting their faith in Shinji.

"Subcommander Akagi." Yamamoto spoke up, having seen that he had gained Ritsuko's attention he spoke up. "Could you get the boy?"

"Sure." Ritsuko spoke as she turned and left.

Misato exchanged a quick glance with Asuka and Mari, she didn't need to say anything, they all had the same thing on their minds, now it was up to Shinji, they had already done the big part, everything depended on him now.

- Please don't make me regret Shinji- Kun. - Thought Misato as she maintained her somber posture, this was the key moment for WILLE, with the help of Shinji and unit 01, they could have one more asset against Gendo and NERV and the best, she could have more time to talk to Shinji in the future.

(*)

Walking down the long corridors of Wunder, Shinji was making a great effort to keep himself steady, seeing all the looks he was receiving as he crossed the corridors, many kinds of looks he was receiving were of anger, others of disdain.

Shinji frowned as he was met with looks he swore he would never receive, some people were looking at him with admiration, others were telling him with their eyes how sorry they were, this made some things inside Shinji's head scream.

Remembering Kaji's words, where he said that many people had admired his work against SEELE, but how could he be admired if he only brought destruction to their world?

"Make no mistake." His mind spoke apprehensively. "Those looks must not be for you."

Shinji said nothing, he only nodded in agreement to the words that echoed through the deepest corners of his psyche.

Standing in front of a metal door, Shinji said nothing, only stared at the faces, the faces of the people he had ruined his life for, the faces of the people who had to live in this lost and lifeless world.

With a sound, the large metal door opened, revealing a familiar place to Shinji, feeling a sense of dejection as he saw the Wunder's command bridge where everything was as he remembered it, even the window where he had seen Unit 02 passing by was there.

Feeling a hand gently pushing him, Shinji started to walk, soon he noticed that everyone stopped their work and turned their heads, everyone again was looking at him, just like that day.

Returning his gaze to each face, Shinji immediately could identify some old faces, such as Hyuga's who was looking, but looked away when his eyes locked on Shinji's, next to him was Shigeru who kept a neutral look on his face.

But one in particular stood out, when Shinji's eyes crossed everyone's face, soon his gaze fell on a pink haired girl who stared at him strongly, Shinji could feel her hatred, her desire to rip his head off just for fun, those eyes were Midori's.

Returning the gaze without flinching, Shinji followed as far as he could, but before he lost sight of Midori he saw her whisper a word and that word was murderer.

Again returning to his world, Shinji looked up and could finally see the stage where he saw Misato for the first time in twelve years, like a well thrown punch, he heard a phrase echoing through his mind.

"Ikari Shinji-Kun, as of this hour, you will not be doing anything." Misato's cold voice echoed through his mind, bringing an avalanche of memories and feelings, Shinji closed his eyes slightly as he came to a conclusion, he could feel that he was not there because he was needed, but because he was a killer.

Lost in his thoughts, Shinji didn't even notice when he entered a large conference room, soon his eyes fell on the people he knew, his eyes traveled across the faces again.

Mari had her arms crossed over her chest, she kept a smile on her face, Shinji remembered the conversation they had both had a few hours ago.

Asuka kept a scowl on her face, something normal for the fiery redhead, but there was something different in her gaze, was it concern? Expectation? Shinji couldn't answer, but it intrigued him.

Finally his eyes fell on Misato, she held the pose she had cultivated over the years, she had her arms crossed over her chest and was wearing her sunglasses they exchanged an intense, but not offensive look.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Shinji stopped and stared when Ritsuko stopped him, looking quickly at the blonde, soon his eyes fell on the screen in front of him, seeing a face of an elderly man, they both stared at each other for endless seconds.

"Ikari Shinji." General Yamamoto spoke in a neutral and professional voice, Shinji felt his stomach burning as he heard the last name Ikari, remembering his father, making a visible grimace. "After hours of debate, WILLE would like to make a proposal to you."

Shinji frowned, he hadn't expected this, his mind was screaming that he would be sent immediately to the deepest cell they had, but something else had intrigued him, it was General Yamamoto's voice, Shinji could swear he had heard it somewhere before.

Yamamoto seeing Shinji's lack of response, he decided to continue. "Ikari-Kun, WILLE offers you a deal."

Shinji gave a sarcastic snort, he would like to laugh and speak his mind, but he decided to wait.

"Your abilities cannot be challenged." Yamamoto spoke professionally. "After we analyze your piloting record that cannot be ignored either..."

"Get to the point." Shinji spoke as he began to lose patience, he could feel everyone's eyes digging into his back, Misato's eyes widened behind his glasses.

Asuka only closed her fists and took a breath to calm herself down, her desire was to punch Shinji in the face as she saw him literally throwing away his last chance.

Mari only gave a muffled sigh and bit her lips, she was hoping that something she said earlier would make Shinji think better before acting, her mind started working thinking she had been wrong about him.

With a genuine laugh, Yamamoto only watched as the others looked at him in confusion. "Really ... I don't like wasting time either."

Yamamoto adjusted himself in his chair and spoke directly. "Our agreement suggests the following, work alongside us and we can have a new trial for you."

Shinji only lowered his gaze upon hearing those words, his mind felt confused, he quickly remembered Mari's words. "You guys must be really desperate."

"So how will it be Ikari?" Yamamoto spoke professionally, still analyzing Shinji's posture.

Shinji looked down and began to ponder the question, he could refuse and go back to his old, miserable life, but on the other hand, he might be able to get at his father with WILLE's help.

"You will never be one of them."

Shinji closed his eyes and thought, all eyes were on him right now, everyone was looking at him expectantly, a lot was at stake right now.

Misato clenched her hands, trying to control her nervousness, these seconds seemed like hours to her, the same was happening to Asuka, she tapped a finger on the side of her arm waiting for Shinji's answer, she didn't know why, but her future behavior depended on Shinji's answer.

Asuka closed her eyes and let out a sigh, her mind was racing for the answer. - Why do I want him to stay? - Asuka had asked herself that a lot these days, she had almost gone to visit Shinji's cell so they could have their conversation again, she still hadn't accepted the things Shinji had told her. - Why do I want you in my life? -

Shinji only took a long breath, he raised his gaze and stared back at Yamamoto strongly, he would have crossed his arms, but he was handcuffed. "How would I take it?"

Misato sighed internally, at least Shinji was considering the deal, but it really puzzled her, what would it be like if he accepted?

Yamamoto smiled internally. "You would be part of the crew, you would follow the orders of your superiors."

"And who would these superiors be?" Shinji asked dismissively, he didn't like the part that he would have to follow orders, but not everything was perfect.

"All above Lieutenant." Yamamoto spoke as he put his hands together in front of his face, he knew that for a man like Shinji, those ranks didn't matter, that he would only take the words of a few people and those people were in the room.

"Lieutenant Ikari." Shinji spoke debauchedly, but soon he turned serious again. "Am I going to pilot again?"

"Yes." Yamamoto spoke as he remembered about the behavior of unit 01, only Shinji was able to control it. "You will keep up the training to stay in shape in piloting, but I can see that won't be necessary will it?"

Shinji agreed with the old man's words, but soon he knew that everyone was waiting for his answer, he turned his head and could take a look at the women, his eyes went from Mari, Asuka and finally fell on Misato, everyone had a look of expectation on their faces. Could it be true?

Misato noticing Shinji's gaze on her, gave a small nod, hoping that he had noticed.

Shinji again closed his eyes and sighed, but that was short-lived, focusing again on Yamamoto's eyes, he spoke with conviction. "Fuck ... I accept."

Yamamoto had a shadow of a smile on his face, he only lowered his hands and spoke. "Then it is done, welcome to WILLE Shinji."

Shinji only nodded slightly, he didn't notice when Yamamoto spoke a few words to Misato, still trapped inside his world, he didn't even realize he was taken outside.

But before he was gone, he looked at Misato and Asuka's faces once more, both had a satisfied look on their faces, feeling butterflies in his stomach, Shinji looked forward again.

Completely ignoring his surroundings, Shinji's mind was on what had just happened, he would now have to again live with Misato and Asuka, something in his mind said he would have work.

Back in the conference room, Misato was again alone with Mari and Asuka, breathing a sigh of relief at being alone and seeing that everything had gone well, the calmness of the room was only broken when Mari spoke in her shrill voice.

"That's good!" Mari spoke as she threw her arms up in the air. "The puppy is with us again!"

"It's not for so much four eyes." Asuka spoke as she turned away from Mari, but her mind was relieved, looking at Misato who sat down in one of the chairs. "What's it going to be like now?"

"I don't know." Misato replied tiredly, all the anxiety of this day had left her exhausted, but her mind had an image of Shinji. "I just hope he cooperates."

"He will." Mari spoke smiling. "If he doesn't behave, the princess will put him in line." Mari made a sign with her hands simulating a whip.

Asuka only shook her head and asked, but regretted it soon after, she knew Mari could make fun of everything. "What makes you think that?"

As she suspected, Mari widened her smile and spoke. "That's simple, if the puppy doesn't cooperate, no sex at night."

Asuka stood up abruptly and blushed. " Mari!"

Misato smiled shyly, she would never admit it, but Mari's jokes helped ease the pressure, it reminded her of the old days, when she made Shinji and Asuka's life hell.

"What?" Mari spoke as if she had done nothing wrong.

(*)

Shinji was in his cell again, the subject they discussed was on his mind, what would things be like from now on? Feeling the weight of his eyelids getting heavier and heavier, Shinji slowly closed his eyes, praying to get some sleep.

"Nothing has changed!" His paranoia screamed. "You are still a murderer."

With that Shinji opened his eyes again, another night he would not sleep, feeling his body aching, his mind was feeling the weight of having several hours of sleep lost, he could no longer think straight, nothing he could do as before, he only had the confusion in his mind more and more evident.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the color red, the same color as the outside environment, the same color he loved, the same color that showed his past, for every face he saw, he felt a twinge in his head, this period next to WILLE was not going to be easy.

Author's Notes: Hello Calborghete folks here, how are you? Did you like it? I hope so. As always be sure to follow and save it to your favorites so you don't miss any future updates.

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