Hi guys, Calborghete here, how are you all? I hope everyone is doing well.

Don't forget to like the page on Facebook, the direct link can be found on my Fanfiction profile page, or if you prefer search for "Calborghete" and locate an image of Shinji and Asuka. On this page I will post updates and it will also be easier for you to contact me.

So now without further ado, enjoy your reading.

"Dialogues"

- Thoughts -

"Radio Talk"

"Self talk."

Liability Note:

Evangelion, its characters and setting are the property of Hideaki Anno. Any brands, movies and series mentioned in this Fanfic are the property of their creators.

(*)

Chapter 15 - A Chance for a New Beginning.

Soft beeps echoed through the small room, inside was not large or comfortable for visitors, this was a typical hospital room, with only a small sofa in the corner and a bed in the center.

Misato was looking at the bed where Shinji was, seeing the large amount of tubes that were keeping him alive, keeping her arms crossed over her chest, Misato closed her eyes and her mind recalled everything that had happened, repeating Shinji's final words before his collapse.

"You ... Not ... Care about me." Shinji's voice echoed through Misato's mind, being repeated like a broken record, bringing a hand to her forehead, Misato was all the time trying to control her anxiety.

With a small flashlight, Sakura checked the reaction of Shinji's pupils to the light, her face conveyed her anxiety and concern, she could still feel her hands crushing Shinji's chest in their race to get his heart beating again.

"Come on Shinji, react." Sakura whispered as she looked at the other devices, seeing if the respirator settings were correct for the fifth time this day, soon her eyes fell on the medication access for the fifth time this day, looking for anything that had been impeding her recovery, but as always, everything was perfect.

"Very well Sakura." Ritsuko spoke as she entered the room, she as always kept her cool posture, in her hands was her tablet with Wunder's information, but this time it was with other information, she was with the results of the examinations she could do on Shinji with Wunder's equipment. "Repeating your inspection won't make him wake up."

Sakura glanced at Ritsuko, seeing her standing beside Misato who kept her posture cold, but Sakura could see behind the iron mask she had and her reactions in Shinji's room showed this, with a small nod she walked away, but unlike her superiors, she had no problem showing her concern.

With a sigh she moved away from the bed, but not before taking Shinji's hand and just standing there by his side, showing that she had people cheering for him, focusing her eyes on Shinji's face all the time, wishing that he could hear her prayers.

"How is he?" Misato asked dryly as she faced Shinji lying on the bed, seeing his eyes closed and his breathing continuous, Misato was making a great effort not to freak out, the image of him lying on the floor struggling to breathe hammered in Misato's mind.

Ritsuko let out a sigh as she opened her information screen, but before she began to speak her information, two people entered the room, before their presence could be perceived from a distance, but not now.

Seeing Mari and Asuka slowly entering, Misato rolled her eyes as she saw that her order to keep this room as private as possible was not being respected, seeing Shinji's condition at its most vulnerable, she didn't want to jinx it, she didn't want the more radical ones to enter the room so easily.

"How did you girls get in?" Misato asked dryly, but not taking her eyes off Shinji even once.

"My orders were clear."

Mari answered first than Asuka, she no longer had the energy she always had, speaking with a controlled, downcast voice, Mari still had the mental image of Shinji on the floor, she had seen people in a bad state before, but seeing it with people you cared about was something else.

"I know, but I wanted to see how he's doing..." Mari began to speak in a controlled, downcast voice, but she was soon cut off by Asuka.

"What do you think we were going to do?" Asuka asked annoyed, seeing Shinji in bed was causing her little calm to evaporate. "We're not going to kill him if that's what you're thinking."

Misato was maintaining her posture, she only turned around and spoke in a calm and controlled voice, but that didn't make it non-threatening. "It's not that Asuka, I don't want you to think it's easy to get in here."

Asuka was about to rebut when Mari spoke up appeasing the bad atmosphere, "I know, but we just want to know how he is doing."

Misato locked her eyes on Mari's, traveling quickly between hers and Asuka's, Misato could see the concern in Mari's, but Asuka's eyes were different, they showed anguish, fear and desperation, Misato could bet that she was desperate for Shinji's recovery and was making a great effort to keep it a secret.

Soon Asuka's eyes fell on Sakura, seeing her hand carefully holding Shinji's hand.

"I was going to bring that up now." Ritsuko took the floor, always keeping her voice neutral, taking her eyes to her tablet again, her mind wanted a cigarette now, but she was controlling herself as much as possible not to smoke in Shinji's room.

All eyes fell on her at this moment, just waiting for the news, with a sigh, Ritsuko began to speak. "All the tests show that he is suffering from red earth intoxication, his lungs are very compromised, his neurological tests show that he hasn't slept in quite a while, this opened the door for the crisis he suffered."

"Oh my God." Misato whispered as she lowered her head, she gave a long sigh, finally when Shinji was by her side again, something like this was happening, it really seemed like a bad joke. "What are the options? "

Ritsuko only nodded, finally taking out one of her cigarettes and lighting it.

"Really?" Asuka asked annoyed, seeing that they were in a hospital room with Shinji in bed on the verge of death and she was smoking like it was a common thing.

Ritsuko just stared at her with disdain, she needed a cigarette, for her mind was scheming on what she could do to alleviate the situation in Shinji's lungs, she had to find a way, by the way only he could pilot Unit 01.

After letting out a large cloud of smoke, Ritsuko spoke as she reopened her eyes. "I don't know."

Asuka felt her blood boil at this response, she could swear that Ritsuko would have a miraculous response as she always had, it was like this when she woke up, she had found a way to keep the contamination in her eye under control.

"There has to be some way." Mari spoke as she felt her calm being lost.

"I ... I'll think about what we can do." Ritsuko spoke as she took another puff, but her eyes soon fell on Sakura who was looking at Shinji's face. "Sakura?"

"Yes." Sakura replied dejectedly, her answer was a little above a whisper, her medical mind working at full throttle to be able to find a solution to help Shinji.

"Apply the medication against it, use a higher dosage, who knows it might help." Ritsuko ordered, but Sakura's response caught her off guard.

"I had already done that." Sakura spoke still without looking at the people in the room, "I've been applying it since your hospitalization."

Ritsuko frowned at these words, she didn't like Sakura running over her orders and not informing her first, looking at the chart for this information, seeing that it had only been updated after the tests had been ordered. "Why didn't you inform me before? "

Sakura only turned her head and spoke dryly, she had no head for hierarchy. "I forgot."

Ritsuko was about to complain, but she listened to Mari's words. "You guys will find a way."

Ritsuko only stared at Mari with a fierce look, she didn't like being left out of information that should be with her control, but she could feel that the tension was high. "I'm going to my office to think of something, any changes let me know on the spot."

Sakura only nodded to the order she had received from Ritsuko, but her mind was focused on how she was going to help Shinji.

"Girls, go to your rooms." Misato spoke facing Shinji on the bed. "You will need to be rested if action is needed."

"But..." Mari spoke in anguish, she wished she could stay in the room with Shinji, giving him all the support she could give.

"No buts." Misato cut in dryly. "We are still at war, you will need all the energy you can get."

Mari lowered her gaze to the floor in defeat, she knew that her presence would not help at all, she only nodded, but before leaving, Asuka walked over to Shinji's bed, her eyes traveling between Sakura's hand and Shinji's closed eyes.

Everyone watched this with curious eyes, but Asuka didn't seem to mind, running the back of her fingers along Shinji's cheek, Asuka brought his face closer and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek.

All the women widened their eyes at this action, even Misato lost her posture a little, she just watched Asuka whisper something in Shinji's ear.

Asuka didn't care what she had done, she only spoke as sentimentally as possible. "Baka, don't you dare die now ... I want you to get better ... For when you wake up, we will have a talk."

Walking away slowly, soon Asuka put her hand on Shinji's chest, her eyes traveled from Shinji's face to Sakura's eyes who was looking at everything intently, with a frown on her face, Asuka spoke keeping her voice calm and controlled.

"Suzuhara."

Sakura only watched as Asuka locked her cold eyes on her, she only waited for Asuka's words.

Seeing that she had the attention she wanted, Asuka continued. "Take good care of him ... He and I still have a lot to talk about ... Understand?"

"Got it." Sakura spoke dejectedly. "I'll do my best."

"Do more than the best." Asuka ordered as she moved away from Shinji's bed, keeping her eyes on the floor the whole time, she only ignored the looks Misato and Mari gave her, all Asuka wanted was to be in her bed now.

Mari seeing Asuka leave the room quickly followed her out, Misato again turned her eyes to Shinji, with her mind plotting everything that had happened, Shinji's situation was very serious, he could die and they hadn't talked yet.

"Ma'am." Sakura spoke as she stood up, finally letting go of Shinji's hand gently. "You should rest too."

Misato looked at Sakura with confused eyes, her body was screaming for a bed, but her mind refused to leave Shinji's side, since his return, something was coming back inside her, as the days passed, Misato could feel her old self slowly coming back, "I'm not sleepy."

With delicate steps, Sakura stopped beside Misato and spoke with a fake smile. "Madam, as a doctor it is my recommendation ... You will need energy to lead Wunder."

Misato turned her head and faced the young doctor giving her orders, but finally felt her words hitting her consciousness, Misato nodded, she needed to be ready to lead the Wunder, for if she failed, she would not only kill everyone on board, she would kill Shinji, she had to be strong to protect him.

With a sigh, Misato spoke as she lowered her arms. "You are right doctor." But instead of turning around, Misato walked over to the bed, looking at Shinji lying still and motionless with only the movement of his breath, Sakura just watched, but judging that Misato would like privacy, with a simple movement, she left the room.

Misato raised her head and saw that she was alone, she finally let her mask fall, removing her sunglasses, Misato let out a breath and felt a lone tear running down her face, seeing Shinji like this broke her heart.

Taking his hand, Misato squeezed it tightly, hoping Shinji could feel her concern, with her free hand Misato placed it on Shinji's chest, she closed her eyes as she felt the vibration of his heartbeat, with a muffled sob she spoke.

"Please Shinji." Misato spoke as she felt more tears flowing, she was making a great effort to make sure no one saw or heard her crying. "Please ... I don't care if you don't forgive me ... I don't care if you hate me... But please ... Don't die."

Misato leaned her forehead against Shinji's chest as she cried, she was holding all the pressure since the incident, she knew that when she was in her room she would cry, but she wasn't managing to hold back her emotions.

After a few seconds of crying on Shinji's chest, Misato finally controlled herself a bit, seeing Shinji's clothes stained by her tears, Misato wiped her face in the hope that she could wipe away the evidence of her emotions.

Standing upright again, Misato looked into Shinji's face again. "Please Shinji-Kun ... Stay with me." Misato leaned gently on the bed and placed a gentle kiss on Shinji's forehead, like Asuka, she would be praying that he could realize how much she wanted him to get better, they also had a lot to talk about.

Finally Misato replaced her glasses, taking a quick look in a small mirror to see if her posture was under control, judging everything to be in order, she finally left the room, leaving Shinji to recover.

From outside, Misato could see all the movement in Wunder's infirmary, next to her was a guard at the door, seeing him get nervous as she locked her eyes on him, Misato spoke as she closed the space. "Corporal."

"Ma'am." Answered the corporal nervously.

Misato kept her steely gaze on her man, ordering sternly. "This is an extremely restricted area ... Do I need to explain?"

The man could feel the sweat dripping down his back, he understood the order, adjusting himself as best he could. "Yes ma'am ... I understand ma'am."

Misato kept her posture cold and strong, she only turned her head as she walked outside, leaving no doubt with what would happen if he failed, with a sigh of relief, the man returned to his post.

Misato kept her posture as she walked, she completely ignored her men greeting her, all she wanted was to rest, these days had been extremely stressful for her.

Finally she arrived in her room, making sure she was alone, then Misato let her heavy colonel's coat fall to the floor, making sure to rip off all the pieces of clothing and going to take a long bath to make the water rid all the stress and worries.

(*)

Mari and Asuka's dorm room.

Mari was sitting on her bed, she could hear the sound of the shower running, with an impatient look on her face, Mari was waiting for Asuka to come out of the bathroom to ask why. Her mind was screaming for answers, having the memory of Asuka caressing and gently kissing Shinji made her mind catch fire.

Tapping her leg showing her impatience, Mari was not a person who could be described for having a strong patience, when she stuck something in her head, it never came out until she had the answers she wanted.

Seeing that Asuka was going to take longer than her strength in waiting, Mari shouted from her bed. "Princess!"

Asuka was standing there feeling the water purifying her body, she had already finished washing herself and could leave, but something was stopping her, the warm water was relaxing her tired and tense muscles.

But that was not what was on her mind, she was wondering why she had done what she did to Shinji in the hospital, feeling the skin on his cheek, Asuka brought her hand to her lips and closed her eyes, kissing his cheek had been like an explosion of feelings, her mind wondered what it would be like to kiss his lips?

"Princess!" Mari shouted again, Asuka only rolled her eyes, already knowing it was only a matter of time before she asked about the bedroom incident.

"Are you deaf?" Mari asked as she stuck her head into the bathroom, she could see the look on his face, her suspicions were confirmed.

"What was it four eyes?" Asuka asked wearily as she shut off the stream of water, she grabbed a towel and began to dry the water off her body.

"Isn't it obvious?" Mari spoke smiling as she cleared the way for Asuka to pass. "I want to know."

Asuka completely ignored her as she began to put on her clothes, but her mind was answering that question.

Mari seeing that she would have to poke more spoke up still smiling, "I want to know how it was kissing the puppy."

Asuka gave a defeated sigh as she put on her underwear, she knew Mari would not leave her alone. "It was ... It was different."

"What do you mean?" Mari spoke as she leaned on the metal table.

Asuka picked up her sleeping clothes and spoke as she dressed. "I ... I really don't know four eyes ... I don't know how I felt."

Mari gave a cat-like grin. "Was it good?"

Asuka thought about this question, it really had felt good to kiss his cheek, her mind wondered what the lips would feel like, but doubt reigned in Asuka's head, was this how she wanted to have Shinji? To have him as her mate? "It was ... It was good."

Mari widened her smile, with a funny look on her face she spoke. "If on the cheek it was like that ... Imagine on the mouth."

Asuka blushed slightly, she was already asking herself these questions and this was something that only when Shinji woke up would he be able to answer, cowering immediately.

Mari lost her smile as she recognized Asuka's gaze, speaking as best she could. "Hey ... He'll recover, he's our invincible Shinji."

Mari saw Asuka's shoulders begin to shake slightly, soon small sobs could be heard, Mari quickly threw her arms around, held Asuka and began speaking words of comfort. "It's going to be okay princess."

Asuka wishes she could speak, but emotion was in control this time as she cried in Mari's arms, only three people saw her like this, one of them was Misato and Mari the other was fighting for her life.

"It's going to be okay, understand?" Mari spoke as she squeezed Asuka who was crying on her shoulder. "It's going to be okay."

(*)

Empty.

A great silence prevailed in the apartment, Shinji was still paralyzed in place at the sight of the person in front of him, feeling a chill run down his spine.

Seeing Shinji's pose, Kaworu let out a long sigh, he had a lot to talk about with Shinji now that they were in this place, many things had to be clarified, new information had to be revealed.

"Kaworu-kun." Shinji whispered as he held himself in place. "I saw you die."

Kaworu only nodded slightly, taking his hands to the pockets of his pants. "It ... That can't have been easy to watch."

Shinji swallowed dryly, still trying to understand the place where he was, he could recognize Misato's old apartment, everything was in its place, everything was as he remembered it, but his eyes were fixed on Kaworu.

Waiting to see what Shinji would do, Kaworu with all the patience in the world just waited, after all, where they were the time was different.

Shinji finally broke eye contact, his mind finally working again and soon memories of his friend's death returned, lowering his gaze as he remembered the moment the choker detonated.

Kaworu watched as Shinji lowered his gaze to the ground, he already knew the reason for this, knowing that Shinji saw the choker detonating must not have been a very easy sight to forget.

"It wasn't your fault." Kaworu spoke softly.

Shinji raised his head and spoke in confusion, "What?"

Kaworu gave a warm smile, adjusting himself better on the wooden table he repeated his last sentence. "I told you it wasn't your fault Shinji-Kun."

Shinji lowered his gaze in guilt to the ground, his mind remembering that fateful day. "How could you not? I killed you."

"Dear Shinji-Kun ... The decision to put the choker on myself was mine, not yours." Kaworu spoke as he gave a gentle smile to his face. "I was going to take it off you anyway, it was only a matter of time."

Shinji shook his head slightly, his mind still refusing to believe it. "I should have stopped you."

"It wouldn't do any good." Kaworu spoke as he sat down on the wooden table, he kept his posture downcast, he didn't want to have this conversation with Shinji, it wasn't the time yet.

Shinji visibly cringed, he still didn't know how to deal with it all, but his train of thought was broken by Kaworu's next question.

"Why did you do this to yourself?" Kaworu asked as he accessed Shinji's memories, seeing that he was headed down a very bad path and this was something that was managing to chip away at the red-eyed albino's calm and patience.

"Huh?" Shinji replied confused, "I did what?"

Kaworu looked away to the window, but instead of containing the landscape of Tokyo 3, it was now nothing, only the color black could be seen, but Kaworu stared at it as if the most beautiful of landscapes was in sight.

Again turning his eyes to Shinji, Kaworu spoke in a downcast voice. "Shinji-Kun ... Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Shinji lowered his gaze, he knew what Kaworu was telling him, but he replied with an equally downcast voice. "Kaworu ... I have no choice."

"Choice?" Kaworu asked confused, his mind working to understand, but all his effort was not coming to any rational conclusion.

"Yes Kaworu." Shinji replied as he sat down on the couch, still looking at the floor. "I made myself a choice ... You by now probably know what happened when I went back to Wunder."

Kaworu only nodded, he could watch everything from Shinji's memories, cringing at everything, Shinji seeing the silence decided to continue. "After all that I was condemned to spend my life in prison ... I had no one to count on, nothing to support me, only myself."

Kaworu only watched, he was wishing he could see things from Shinji's perspective.

"I have no one Kaworu." Shinji spoke extremely dejected. "After a few months things got bad for me, really bad." Kaworu lowered his gaze as he remembered seeing Shinji having to deal as the people who recognized him in prison. "So that answers no?"

"I can understand, but what about the current reason?" Kaworu can feel Shinji's memories, seeing when he went out of his way to ward off Misato's attempts to get back in touch after his integration into Wunder. "Don't you think you're being too hard on them?"

Kaworu could feel the change of mood in the apartment, he could sense how Shinji's emotions began to change, but in the place where they were it would be of no consequence, he just stared at Shinji with his downcast look.

"They ... They don't care." Shinji spoke with a mixture of sadness and anger, lowering his gaze to the ground, again feeling the memories returning.

Kaworu spoke as he got down from the table and approached Shinji, he could feel the tension in his body, slowly approaching the couch where Shinji was sitting, when he was close enough, Kaworu bent down and spoke as he stood in the same line as Shinji's head.

"Shinji-Kun." Kaworu called out to Shinji, seeing that he was no longer responding, Kaworu spoke by placing a finger on Shinji's chin and lifting his face so that they both looked each other in the face, Kaworu could see all the hurt and anger in Shinji's eyes, but he could also see his sadness, he didn't need to use his angel powers to see that. "If they didn't care about you, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Shinji frowned, he did not understand Kaworu's words. "What do you mean?"

Kaworu gave a small smile as he sat down on the ground, he knew he should give Shinji a small explanation of where they were. "Shinji-Kun ... We're on the way."

"Way?" Shinji repeated still feeling confused.

"Yes ... We're on the way." Kaworu spoke as he became haggard again. "I didn't want to see you here."

"What do you mean Kaworu? I don't understand anything." Shinji spoke as he began to lose his patience.

"You are dead Shinji-Kun." Kaworu spoke directly to Shinji, he could see Shinji's eyes widen in surprise. "Well, not quite."

Shinji felt shocked by this information, he could only whisper. "Dead." Closing his eyes as he began to understand, memories began to surface, he could finally remember when he was in his room, he remembered starting to cough after arguing with Maya in the synchronization test.

Bringing his hand to his face as he remembered everything, the argument with Misato, everything he had said to his former guardian and the things she said back, it all came back like a stone. "Dead ... Then I have failed."

Kaworu frowned slightly, but he recovered quickly, having seen the memories of how Shinji had come to the void, he can feel all his emotions, he felt them the moment his body collapsed. "So Shinji-Kun?"

Shinji finally came out of the tsunami of memories that flooded his mind, but he recovered in time to understand Kaworu's question. "So what Kaworu?"

Kaworu didn't want to ask Shinji that question, but unfortunately he would have to. "Are you going to go? Or are you going back?"

Shinji understood the meaning of these words, finally understanding that he was between life and death, again he bowed his head and gave a sigh, he could feel that he was in no condition to make such a decision, he was feeling very tired, he just wished he could sleep.

Lifting her head to answer, but one thing caught her attention, bringing her hand to her cheek, Shinji could swear she felt as if someone had run their fingers across her face, soon a soft, delicate pressure pressed against her. "What's that?"

Kaworu gave a smile as he knew what it was. "That's the other side Shinji, there are still people who are waiting for you to wake up."

Shinji frowned, soon he looked down at his hand, feeling a pressure, but what scared him most was a voice coming, a voice he knew well whose it was.

"Baka, don't you dare die now ... I want you to get better ... For when you wake up, we will have a talk."

"What's going on?" Shinji asked startled as he looked around.

Kaworu smiled, he could feel the emotion in the words that Shinji was hearing, knowing that he still had people who cared about him. "This is happening on the other side."

Shinji looked Kaworu in the eye, with the feelings of affection passing, soon he waited for his friend's response, seeing he had the opportunity he wanted, Kaworu spoke. "You are in a hospital now, there are people praying for you to recover ... You have people counting on you."

"Counting on me?!" Shinji growled as he looked at Kaworu, but that didn't seem to intimidate his friend. "They don't want me with them!"

"If they don't want to, why are they crying?" Kaworu asked gently, he could feel the emotions of the other side by using Shinji's body as a bridge.

Shinji softened his gaze as he felt a hand, he again looked down and felt all the warmth and affection that act represented, closing his eyes as he heard some words.

"Please Shinji." Shinji closed his eyes as he heard Misato's crying voice, he never liked to listen when she was crying, closing his eyes tightly to control his emotions, but a lone tear managed to escape.

"Please ... I don't care if you don't forgive me ... I don't care if you hate me... But please ... Don't die." Again Shinji used great strength to control himself, he felt more tears streaming down his face as he listened again to Misato's voice speaking between sobs.

"I don't hate you Misato." Shinji spoke as his face was stained with tears. "I don't hate you ... Neither do you or Asuka ... Quite the opposite. " Shinji spoke as he felt a hand on his chest and again he felt a pressure on his forehead, this was the same feeling he felt on his cheek.

Kaworu watched everything with a real smile on his face, he could see that Shinji still had hope.

"You say that I have to go back ... But how? I'll just get in the way." Shinji spoke dejectedly, he didn't even care as he wiped his face.

Kaworu only smiled as he spoke. "That's what you think."

(*)

Wunder

It had been fifteen days that Shinji was in a coma in the Hospital room, Misato made visits whenever she could, she was not caring what it would cause with the more radical crew's opinion about it, she always thanked the heavens when she realized that the ordinary crew was not interested in Shinji's situation, but rather in then function.

Rei was in Ritsuko's office sorting through the documents she had received, but one thing kept going through her mind, she was thinking about Shinji in the hospital, her mind was screaming to see him again, she wanted to show that she was rooting for his recovery.

"What is it Rei?" Ritsuko spoke as she put down her papers, she had dark circles under her eyes from researching so much for a way to clean Shinji's lungs from the red earth contamination, but seeing Rei all the time her task was distracting her.

"I ... I'm worried." Rei spoke as she put down the papers that were in her hands, Ritsuko only faced her with her disdainful look. "Madam ... I ... May I see him?"

Ritsuko only stared into Rei's red eyes, she could see the concern, with a sigh, she spoke as she lit a cigarette. "Sure, I'll give you the go-ahead. "

Rei gave a smile as she gained this permission, but before she got up and left, Ritsuko spoke professionally. "His condition is serious, don't make me regret it."

Rei lowered her gaze to the ground, knowing Shinji's condition. "I'm not going to do anything ma'am."'

"Good." Ritsuko spoke as she handed a paper with the permit to Rei. "Hand that to Sakura."

Rei took the paper containing the authorization, turning and leaving, she could feel Ritsuko's eyes on her back.

Walking towards the infirmary, Rei was still receiving doubtful looks, but she never cared about that, her focus was on learning more about people, knowing how she could improve and stop being the ice queen as she was called.

Entering the infirmary and walking to Sakura's station, she saw several books open on the respiratory system, Rei could finally see the tired posture of Sakura who was frantically researching how she could help Shinji.

"Dra. Suzuhara. " Rei called out to her friend, she saw Sakura lift her gaze and cast her a tired and downcast look leaving Rei upset at this, Sakura had always been a person who never did her any harm, being practically her first friend in Wunder.

"What is it Rei?" Sakura asked wearily as she closed one of the medical books.

"Subcommander Akagi gave me permission to visit my brother." Rei spoke as she handed the paper to Sakura who promptly took them, she knew Rei would never hurt Shinji.

"Yeah ... I had to go there anyway." Sakura spoke as she stood up, Rei followed her closely, watching her enter the room and following her closely, the place was dark with only the sound of the machines working.

Rei approached the bed and finally could take a look at Shinji's face, something inside her broke at the sight, a bad feeling welled up inside her, feeling her eyes burning, Rei didn't know what was happening to her.

Sakura was preparing the material to do Shinji's facial hygiene when she noticed Rei looking at her trembling hands, already knowing that Rei didn't know how to deal with her feelings. "That's normal Rei ... It just shows that you are sad."

Rei faced Sakura preparing the materials needed to do Shinji's facial hygiene. "Sad?"

"Yes." Sakura spoke dejectedly as she looked at Shinji's bearded face. "It means you care about him."

Rei only approached the bed, she could see as Sakura began to prepare an aqueous solution. "What are you doing?"

"That's for the beard, I'm going to do his beard." Sakura spoke with a sad smile on her face, but she could see Rei's look about it, frowning as she saw something in his gaze. "Do you want to do it?"

"I don't know how?" Rei spoke dejectedly, but she really wanted to contribute something.

"I'll help." Sakura spoke with a smile as she handed the materials to Rei who promptly took them.

(*)

Emptiness

Kaworu only smiled as he spoke. "That's what you think."

Shinji stared at him with a confused look, his mind going back to talking.

"They don't care."

Shinji closed his ears to this voice again, Kaworu only stared at him as he became serious.

"Don't listen." Kaworu spoke as he felt Shinji's paranoia returning.

"How could you not?" Shinji retorted dejectedly. "It's reality."

With a downcast sigh, Kaworu stood up and spoke seriously. "Shinji-Kun, you have to stop running away."

"Escape?" Shinji asked confused as he felt something pass across his face, again bringing his hand to the spot, he could feel something cold being placed against his face and felt movement.

"Yes, run away." Kaworu spoke as he lost his smile. "You have a lot of things to do yet Shinji."

"But they hate me." Shinji spoke as he bowed his head and became downcast.

Kaworu gave a bored sigh, Shinji saw his face turn into a small scowl. "Shinji-Kun ... Stop it!"

Shinji stared at him with shock, he had never seen Kaworu get upset, he only listened to his speech.

"You keep running away from reality by hiding behind these words! What is so hard for you to believe that these people are crying for you!?" Kaworu spoke strongly as he saw Shinji bow his head. "They are crying for you! What more do you want?

"It may be true that you have some people who hate you, but you have more people who care about you! You can't be loved by everyone Shinji-kun." Kaworu spoke as he showed him the image of several people.

Misato's face.

Asuka's face.

"No." Shinji spoke as he held his head up again.

Sakura's face.

Rei's face.

"No." Shinji spoke as he felt his head would crack.

Mari.

"Why?" Shinji spoke as he closed his eyes again. "Why does it have to be me?"

"Because the world needs you." Kaworu spoke as he smiled.

"I ... I'm tired Kaworu." Shinji spoke in an extremely tired voice. "I just want to stop suffering."

Kaworu only nodded. "I know Shinji-Kun ... But it won't be here."

"But..." Shinji spoke as he was cut off by Kaworu.

"Look Shinji, it's your decision." Kaworu spoke as he became serious again.

"What's it going to be like?" Shinji asked as he bowed his head. "What will it be like if I choose to die?"

Kaworu lowered his head, he didn't want to answer, but the final decision was Shinji's. "You go to instrumentality, you will have everything you ever wanted."

Shinji only nodded, his mind struggling severely. "What do I do?"

"I can't answer for you." Kaworu spoke dejectedly as he looked Shinji not eyes. "But may I offer my opinion?" He only received a nod from Shinji.

"You would get what you always wanted, but it wouldn't be real, nothing within instrumentality is real." Kaworu spoke dejectedly. "Everything is one big farce."

Shinji let out a sigh, doubt was consuming him inside, he was already making the decision when he heard Kaworu's next words. "But the decision is yours ... Reality or fantasy?"

Shinji nodded again, at this point he had made his decision, he just didn't know what it would be like in the future, but he already knew what he was going to do, he just looked up and spoke decisively.

(*)

Wunder

It had been almost a month since Shinji was in a coma, and Wunder was flying the oceans in search of their next mission. They were avoiding enemies until Shinji could recover, and Wunder would need all usable pilots.

"Soap with solvent? All mixed in LCL?" Ritsuko spoke with doubt as she listened to Sakura's idea, Misato was also casting a look of doubt.

"But that will burn his lungs." Misato spoke as she crossed her arms.

"I know ... But it will dissolve the red earth." Sakura spoke excitedly, she had this idea when helping Rei shave Shinji, having researched for over ten days about it. "I've researched about it for over ten days, we have the materials."

"But it will burn his lungs." Ritsuko spoke as she looked at the pages of Sakura's research, she didn't speak, but she was impressed with the young doctor's determination, she had prepared everything to make this presentation.

"I know, but we can treat lung burns better than red dirt contamination, will he suffer a little? Yes, but then we can treat it."

Misato looked at Ritsuko who was reading Sakura's reports. "I'll study it, let's look at it later."

SOUND OF THE PHONE RINGING.

They all looked at the handset ringing on Misato's desk, judging by the time they all felt a shiver run down their spines, picking up the handset Misato spoke. "It's me."

Sakura and Ritsuko were looking at Misato expectantly, watching as Misato's shoulders slumped and she lifted her head and gave an upward sigh. "Okay, I'm coming down now."

Everyone saw her turn off the device and staring at them, Misato gave another sigh as she spoke, her voice showing anxiety.

"He woke up."

(*)

Infirmary.

Shinji lay there with his eyes closed, his mind gradually waking up, listening to the beeping sounds penetrating his consciousness with each beeping sound the machines emitted.

Feeling his mind still cloudy, Shinji began to feel consciousness returning to his body, but he still didn't have the strength to do anything, his body wasn't wanting to react as he would have liked.

Being able to feel the tube that was inserted in his throat, Shinji slowly opened his eyes, even though the lights were off and there was little light in his room, he felt his retina screaming with the light that entered his eyes, with a small groan, he closed them again.

As he reopened again, he could finally take a look around him, turning his eyes to the side, he could see the machines that had kept him alive during the time he had been in the coma, his whole body seemed heavy.

Again turning his eyes upwards, Shinji took a good look at the ceiling of his room, he wanted to speak, but the everything in his throat was not giving him that freedom, his speech was parched, but his mind was not, this did not stop him from thinking.

- An unknown ceiling. - Shinji thought bitterly, soon his mind becoming clearer and clearer, he could remember his friend's words, closing his eyes again, he struggled with his memories, really he should stop running away, Misato and Asuka were trying to approach him again, but his mind was not allowing it.

- Give a second chance? Are they really trying? - Shinji thought as he kept his eyes closed, even though he was in a coma, his body was tired from the lack of rest, being in a coma was not like sleeping, his mind didn't rest at all these days, his eyes might be closed, but his mind was working at a thousand per hour.

His line of thought had been broken when a nurse entered the room, having been ordered by Sakura to collect information about Shinji's condition, since she would not be there because she had found a way to clean Shinji's lungs.

Walking over to the devices, the nurse soon began to note down on the medical clipboard the values displayed on the support machines, her eyes soon fell on Shinji's face, seeing the guard standing in the doorway watching all the movements preventing any action.

The nurse got a downcast look on her face as she saw the guard's distrust, but she could understand, Shinji was still a delicate case and no one wanted to suffer from Colonel Katsuragi's wrath.

But as she turned her eyes back to Shinji's face, she gave a small cry and a small jump backwards as she saw his eyes wide open and staring at her. "Lieutenant ... Lieutenant Ikari?"

Shinji only nodded, giving the signal that he was awake, seeing the nurse give a small smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I will inform the commander that you are awake."

Shinji only nodded as he closed his eyes, he wished he could sleep at this hour, but he knew that now everyone would ask some questions and soon the crying would start, he wished he could take a sigh, but the breathing tube wouldn't allow it.

Soon his eyes opened when the door to his room was opened abruptly, Shinji looked down to see Sakura approaching the bed quickly with tears in her eyes, she was smiling from ear to ear, this really made the words of Kaworu gain more strength in his mind.

"Thank God." Sakura spoke as she hugged Shinji's body, she could see that he tensed at the contact, but she ignored it, she just wanted to thank him for waking up.

"Sakura give it a rest, he just woke up." Ritsuko spoke as she approached the machinery and took a look at the valuables. "How are you feeling?"

Shinji only faced her with a look that showed he could not speak, Ritsuko only gave a small the smile as she spoke. "Two winks for yes and one for no."

Shinji rolled his eyes, everyone could see that he was recovering, this was a good sign for the medical eyes of Sakura and Ritsuko, Misato stood in the doorway, she was making a great effort not to run and hug Shinji, her whole mind was telling her to do this, but courage wouldn't let her.

"Okay." Ritsuko spoke as she saw that Shinji was not going to get on his game, everything was clear that he wanted the tube removed. "Sakura ... You may remove the respirator."

Sakura approached Shinji, she kept her happy smile all the time, as if her strength was renewed miraculously. "Alright Shinji-Kun, take a deep breath I'm going to remove the tube, your throat will be strange and your voice may fail."

Shinji only nodded, giving the signal Sakura wanted, soon she began removing the tube, she could see when Shinji's eyes frowned with discomfort. "There."

Finally without the tube in his throat, Shinji tried to take a few deep breaths, his body seemed to be broken, as if he had been run over. "Than ... Thank you."

Sakura spoke raising her hand as she heard Shinji's hoarse voice. "Don't talk too much, your voice will be rough."

Shinji only nodded, but soon he heard Ritsuko's voice again asking him the same question as before, he just stared at her and spoke as best he could, "Everything hurts."

Ritsuko only gave a smile. "That's normal, you were gone for a month."

Shinji stared at her with a shocked look, he soon remembered talking to Kaworu about this, something about time being different from where he was.

"You gave Shinji-kun quite a scare." Finally Misato's voice echoed through the room, Shinji locked his eyes on his former guardian and soon he began to remember their last encounter, he only nodded.

"Sorry about that." Shinji spoke above a whisper, his mind remembered hearing something about Misato crying as he wished for his recovery, constantly he remembered Kaworu's words, everyone in the room looked at him slightly surprised, but Misato was completely speechless, this was the first time he had ever apologized.

Misato gave a small sigh as she bowed her head, this small act only let her know that the old Shinji was still there somewhere, she felt a pang of hope. "When you are better, I want to talk to you."

Shinji knew what this conversation would be about, he didn't want to have one himself, but something in the back of his mind was screaming at him to give it a chance, the experience with Kaworu had opened his eyes to many things, he just nodded.

Everyone in the room was just staring at each other, but soon Sakura spoke to break the ice in the room. "So Shinji ... Really nothing out of the ordinary?"

"I'm just tired." Shinji spoke as he closed his eyes, but his mind soon remembered Ritsuko's words about him sleeping for a whole month. "But that shouldn't be possible should it?"

"Sleep is different than being in a coma, you were unconscious, but sleep is something else." Ritsuko spoke as she placed the stethoscope on Shinji's chest and listened to his heart and breathing, she could hear the red dirt hindering the functionality of his lungs, they still had to find a way to clear Shinji's lungs, if not he might have another crisis.

Shinji only nodded, knowing that he was sick, his body was screaming showing the signs that he was not well, but he had to change, he had to trust again the people who were rooting for him.

"Rest now, we'll talk again tomorrow, let us know if anything happens." Ritsuko spoke as she gave a signal to Sakura who promptly followed her out of the room, again Misato and Shinji were alone.

Looking away, Shinji felt ashamed and guilty, he still had a lot of guilt for letting Misato down.

Walking slowly to the bed, Misato decided to take a bold step, she wanted to show that she cared about Shinji, in an unsure movement, Misato took one of Shinji's hands and squeezed it.

Shinji felt surprised by this, but somehow it was soothing to him, and acting on instinct, he returned the aside to Misato's hand.

Feeling that the contact was reciprocated, Misato had a small smile on her face, her small act of affection was returned, something was already happening in Shinji's mind. "Get well Shinji, when you have strength again, I want to talk to you."

Shinji stared back at her and nodded. "Of course Katsura... Misato."

Misato gave a small smile as he let go of Shinji's hand and left, again leaving Shinji alone in the room for him to rest, this he really tried, but as always the nightmares wouldn't let him.

(*)

Mari and Asuka were in their room, but soon they were informed that Shinji had woken up, Asuka was in her bed lying down, but she could hear when Mari received the news from Sakura.

"That's cool ... That's cool ... That's cool." Mari hummed happily as she approached Asuka's bed.

Using her arm, Mari frantically shook Asuka's body to wake her up. "Princess! Princess! Princess!"

Asuka gave an annoyed sigh as she sat up irritated, she hadn't been able to sleep these days that Shinji was in a coma, her nightmares were terrible. "What was it four eyes!?"

Mari called out with her best smile. "The puppy is awake!"

"I listened, just like everyone else with their yelling!" Asuka growled as she sat up in bed with a sleepy look on her face, her mind was screaming with relief at this information.

"Let's go visit him!" Mari spoke as she picked up her pants.

"Four eyes! " Asuka called out to her sister as she went to the bathroom. "It's two in the morning, we'll visit tomorrow."

Mari looked disappointed, but she soon understood, it was late for visits, Shinji must be resting, giving a sigh as she dropped her pants again and went back to bed.

"Damn."

"Go back to sleep." Asuka spoke as she returned to her bed, he could feel Mari's movement below her.

A few minutes had passed, Asuka realized that Mari had gone back to sleep by the sound of her snoring, but she couldn't sleep because her mind always fell on Shinji.

With a snort, Asuka got up and got out of bed as gently as possible so as not to wake Mari, taking one look at her face sleeping soundly in her bed, Asuka dressed and left the room.

Walking through the halls of Wunder, Asuka was thinking about what she was doing, her mind always responded in the same way, she had to see Shinji's face, she had to see with her own eyes that he was alive.

Finally arriving at the infirmary, Asuka walked quickly to the room where Shinji was, she could see the guard staring at her with a look of doubt. "Corporal."

"Captain." Spoke the young corporal nervously.

"I'm going to go visit him." Asuka spoke dryly, she didn't want to waste time debating with the guard at the door.

"Sorry ma'am, Colonel Katsuragi's orders." Spoke the young corporal nervously.

Asuka just stared at him, her gaze showed that she was in no mood for debate, she was close to Misato, this should already serve as VIP access.

Seeing Asuka's look, the young guard quickly remembered that Asuka and Misato were quite close, finally scolding himself for not having thought of this earlier. "You ... You can come in."

Asuka only looked at the door and walked through, paying no attention to the nervous corporal who stayed behind, inside the room Asuka could see Shinji's face turned away.

Shinji opened his eyes slowly, he could hear the sound of the door opening and soon his head turned, catching Asuka standing motionless, like prey in the hunter's eyes.

Asuka stood motionless, she had no attention to having him, but she now had to make up an excuse not to look weird. "Hi."

Shinji analyzed her posture, he could see that she was nervous, his mind was scheming to know the reason for her late visit. "Hi Asuka."

Asuka stared into Shinji's eyes slightly shocked, he finally called her by her first name. "Asuka? What's changed?"

Shinji thought about the question, he really hadn't thought about why, he only thought it was right. "I don't know ... It just feels right."

Asuka smiled weakly. "Baka Typical."

Shinji wanted to laugh, but his mouth wouldn't let him, "Couldn't sleep? "

Asuka approached the bed and propped her hands on the hospital bed railing, she thought about Shinji's question, her mind judging whether to answer or not. "Yes ... I couldn't."

"Me too." Shinji replied wearily.

Asuka watched Shinji turn his head down, she wanted to ask him so many things, but now was not the time. "Why?"

Shinji stared back at her, still not understanding the question. "Why what?"

Asuka rolled her eyes, making a great effort not to yell or hit Shinji for his tactlessness in knowing the obvious. "Why didn't you say you were sick?"

Shinji lowered his head, he knew why, his mind was screaming that this wasn't WILLE's problem, that it wasn't something people would care about, but he decided to be honest with Asuka. "I didn't think it was a big deal ... I didn't think anyone would care."

Asuka closed her fists at that answer, making a great effort to remain calm. "Wasn't it important? ... What is so hard for you to get into your hollow head that you are now one of us? ... That there are people who care about you? Damn it, that I care about you?"

Shinji stared at her with a shocked look, Asuka's questions carried an emotional baggage, it wasn't hatred that was in them, there was no venom in her words, but Shinji had a feeling of relief and indignation.

"The thing is one thing Baka." Asuka locked her eyes on Shinji's, he could see all her anguish. "I ... Will I be able to count on you? ... Will you be by my side in this war? ... Will I be able to know that you are by my side out there? ... Will you give me a chance?" Asuka spoke as she raised her hand to Shinji in a handshake gesture.

Shinji saw her eye shining, he could see that she was holding back tears, judging that this must affect Asuka very hard, he slowly brought his hand to Asuka, gently squeezing her hand. "I will Asuka."

Asuka smiled as she firmly shook Shinji's hand, but soon a thought came into her head, she was close to losing Shinji. "I still haven't done it the right way."

Shinji frowned as he felt Asuka pulling him along, soon he felt Asuka's hands going over his back and giving him a hug, it was soft and clumsy, but it was still a hug, confused Shinji asked. "What ... What are you doing?"

Asuka buried her head in his shoulder as she squeezed him tightly, her mind was asking the same question. "Just ... Just shut up."

Shinji soon returned the hug, but he began to feel something in his body, feeling the warmth and comfort Asuka was giving him, this was giving him a sense of calm, but he could still hear, but with each passing second, he could feel his eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

"Baka ... Please don't do something like that again." Asuka spoke as she squeezed Shinji, her mind soon brought back the memory of him assuming he tried to kill himself, her mind flooded with the warmth Shinji was giving her as well, Asuka began to feel something as well, a feeling, she wanted to say the words that had been locked in her chest for a long time. "I want to say something to you."

"Baka ... I ... I ..." Asuka was feeling very nervous, saying those words were not coming easy for the proud redhead. "I took my time realizing ... Damn, Mari was right ... And I only realized it when everything was almost lost ... What I'm trying to say is that I always ..."

"What?!" But before she could say the words, she felt Shinji's face fall between her breasts, feeling her face blush at the contact, Asuka was ready to scream, to call him a pervert, but as she pulled away a little she saw something, Shinji had slept.

- Shit and now what? - Asuka thought as she held Shinji's sleeping body, soon she had the idea to lay him back down on the bed, praying not to wake him up, seeing Shinji's head still between her breasts, Asuka spoke laughing. "Mari would freak out seeing us like this? "You better not get used to the idea, pervert!"

Feeling Shinji's breath on her chest, she didn't know what to do, returning his body to the bed, Asuka tried to pull away, but soon Shinji's hands held her firmly, she could feel Shinji's hand on her back, he was using her as a shield, something precious, something that would keep the nightmares away.

Slowly pushing Shinji away, Asuka soon got into bed as best she could, seeing that he was sleeping peacefully, Asuka judged that she should go back to her room, but fatigue hit her like a stone. "Five minutes won't kill."

Asuka laid her head on Shinji's shoulder and settled down, feeling her body entering the world of sleep, this night neither Shinji nor Asuka had nightmares, they both finally managed to do something they had not been able to do for a long time, they both slept, they both had a quality night's sleep, they both did not have nightmares.

Author's Notes: Hello Calborghete folks here, how are you? Did you like it? I hope so. As always be sure to follow and save it to your favorites so you don't miss any future updates.

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