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From:
Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: Why I moved to America – English women!
Self esteem has suffered a major blow – stood up twice in three days by the same woman.
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy [F.]
To: Richard Fitzwilliam
Subject: How the mighty have fallen
Ha! That has officially made this dire business trip just that little bit more bearable.
How's Georgie? I have left her several messages, but she hasn't returned my calls, I'm starting to think she's ignoring me – has she told you anything, in confidence?
P.S. Why the hell are you still using that goddamn awful email address – '' (see body of previous email) evidently it is not representative of the truth!
From: Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]
To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: Cold man cold
"How's Georgie?" I'm going to insert "Richard" into that sentence and respond – I got stood up twice, TWICE, by the same woman. I don't understand how this happened, why do I always fall so hard for the wrong women?
If she told me anything in confidence why would I then tell you? Surely that's the point of 'in confidence' – pedantic moment over, no, I haven't seen her, she called last week to ask me out for dinner, but when I text her back she never got back in touch; see another bloody woman that's determined to ruin me.
Jack Daniels is my only friend.
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy [F.]
To: Richard Fitzwilliam
Subject: Drama queen
Finish this sentence for me, "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on -,"
Give it a try, there's a Brucie bonus if you play your card's right.
Are you talking about the woman you were telling me about the other week, with the son? Was that not enough of an indication for you that she might be trouble – beware of gold diggers?
From: Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]
To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: We are not related
I have an easier one for you, "arse ho-,"
Spoken like a true SNOB – that is why you are S-I-N-G-L-E, you don't trust anyone; not everyone has you on their hit list (big head), someone one day might love you (against their better judgement).
P.S. How's Tokyo?
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy [F.]
To: Richard Fitzwilliam
Subject: Re: We are not related that's what I keep telling you
... I can't believe I left England.
From: Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]
To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: Cryptic?
Why?
Be careful Darce, admitting you were reluctant to leave will cause people with overactive imaginations (me) to jump to conclusions – you got a girl you didn't want to leave behind, lol(yes your oxford-educated cousin did use the term lol)?
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy [F.]
To: Richard Fitzwilliam
Subject: Re: Cryptic?
...
From: Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]
To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: Speechless
No way! A real girl?
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy [F.]
To: Richard Fitzwilliam
Subject: What are you insinuating?
As opposed to?
From: Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]
To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: Details please
Two words "Emily Benedict" – made up enough for you?
This is bigger news than when Brad Pitt went all Team Jolie.
Fucking hell Darce, I'm speechless! Is this why you were brooding more than normal before you left? Who is she? What is she like? Have I met her? Does Georgie know? How long has it been going on? Is it serious?
Wait, are you joking? I know you've never really got the hang of jokes, being that they have normally been about you.
Insert Will's comment "Silly Richard, I never joke if I can help it."
P.S. Does this mean the Emily obsession is over?
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy [F.]
To: Richard Fitzwilliam
Subject: Oh how I miss our repartee
Quote, "I'm speechless." Got a dictionary handy, you might want to check the definition.
There was never an obsession – it was a healthy appreciation of the best woman I have ever known, and she WAS real. Besides what's to say I haven't found Emily, only it wasn't Emily all along?
From: Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]
To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: And a sense of humour too – what did they put in your sushi to make that happen?
And witty too – are you sure this is Fitzwilliam Darcy? Who hacked your account?
Are you trying to be confusing? Have you found Emily or not? Georgie will be ecstatic; I think she was even starting to think you were gay and made up Emily to throw us off the scent. That isn't what this is, is it?
So if I can't ply you for details about your mystery woman, can I ask you two very important off-topic questions?
What you've bought Georgie for her birthday?
Can I borrow your Bentley next Friday?
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy [F.]
To: Richard Fitzwilliam
Subject: I should have known
"Gay" Am I that transparent?
Answers below:
Not telling you. You always buy it the same thing and pretend you gave me the idea, not expecting me to buy it as well.
Why? Who are you trying to impress?
From: Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]
To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: Insulted
I don't need a flashy car to impress someone; I have my rapier wit.
You know you really shouldn't joke about your sexual preferences; I'll have hacked your Facebook account and changed your allegiance faster than Angelina Jolie can have children.
P.S. When are you back?
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy [F.]
To: Richard Fitzwilliam
Subject: FW: Why I moved to America!
Obsessed, me? Coming from the guy that has managed to mention Angelina Jolie in two separate conversations within minutes of each other.
I'm back in 26 days or sooner, so if you even think about throwing another party in my house, I'll personally see to it that it won't just be women in the UK that think there's something wrong with you (I can be very creative – still got that rash?) – I had to get a new fireplace and carpets the last time you came to stay.
Oh and before I forget, see message trail, evidence speaks to the contrary.
"Self esteem has suffered a major blow – stood up twice in three days by the same woman."
P.S. There's something I have to tell you when I'm back and yes you will be shocked.
From: Richard Fitzwilliam [.com]
To: Fitzwilliam Darcy
Subject: Jack is empty – Bastard!
Sent from my Blackberry – you'll just have to deal with it if there are any mistakes!
When faced with an unpleasant situation is it easier to surround yourself with the familiar than stick your head above the parapet, but what happens when everything that is familiar reminds you of the one thing you are trying to forget?
Elizabeth absentmindedly raised the coffee cup that had been abandoned on her desk to her lips, instantly spitting the stone cold black liquid out of her mouth and onto the important documents which lay well thumbed on her desk.
"Shit," she exclaimed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and letting out a groan of frustration as she tried to dab away the coffee that were seeping into the pages of her work. After furiously smudging the black text for several minutes, frustrated that the brown stains wouldn't come out of the document, it dawned on her that like everything else in her life at the moment, it was a lost cause. With a deep sigh she collapsed back into her cream leather chair, letting the padded cushion absorb her exhausted frame, as she surrendered to thoughts of Darcy again.
It had been three weeks since she and William had waved Darcy off at the private airstrip at London Heathrow, and from the moment she'd watched his plane takeoff she'd felt his absence keenly. For 22 days, she had been warring with herself about whether the feelings she was experiencing were just a result of seeing how good Darcy was with William or whether she'd really been affected by the words 'Emily Darcy' written in his delicate script.
"Elizabeth, if anyone knew where your thoughts kept drifting too they would think you're positively ridiculous," Lizzie scolded herself, whilst scrabbling for a mint to take away the foreign taste left in her mouth from the aging coffee, "this is the third time this week you've tried to drink stale coffee"
Broken from her reverie, Lizzie slowly became aware of the soft chuckle penetrating the evening silence.
"They'll think you're positively ridiculous because you're talking to yourself," Charlotte stepped into Lizzie's brightly lit office, the light bouncing off her warm features and her eyes full of mirth, "and drinking day old coffee," Charlotte finished playfully, eyeing the offending mug.
"A day?" Elizabeth shoved a handful of mints into her mouth, "that was some questionable milk – yack!" she said with disgust, whilst peering into her mug and noticing that the day old milk had curdled on the top – a definite indicator that it was a little off.
Bringing Elizabeth back to the present, Charlotte let a low whistle whilst looking between Lizzie's desk and Jane's with a furrowed brow, "whatever's on your mind must be big because," Charlotte paused, wiping her finger along the corner of Lizzie's desk, "I haven't seen any desk you've ever occupied this tidy since the day you left William at home for the first time." To illustrate her point, Charlotte triumphantly showed her spotless finger to Lizzie.
"I resent that accusation, I'm not that messy," Elizabeth protested, swatting Charlottes hand away.
Charlotte knew that to know Elizabeth was to be close to a force of nature, from a young age she had always left a mess in her wake and it was this (amongst other things) that endeared her to everyone she met.
At 5 Elizabeth had decided to redecorate her bedroom with a mixture of glitter and paint and had caused such a jealous frenzy amongst her sisters that they imitated her creative style and Mrs Bennett spent three weeks ordering about decorators in her daughter's bedroom; Mr Bennett had smiled to himself the whole time, he thought it was an improvement on the drab style they were used too.
At 9 Elizabeth discovered that to customise your clothes was far cooler than wearing off the hanger creations and so took to adjusting all her jeans, tops, skirts and dresses to demonstrate her individuality; her sisters in awe of Elizabeth's ever changing wardrobe took to redesigning their own and Mrs Bennett spent several days rectifying the damage her second eldest daughters creativity caused; Mr Bennett loved that Elizabeth was a leader, even at such a young age.
At 12 Elizabeth discovered photography; in photos she found beauty which the naked eye could not discern and she had a natural aptitude to find a stunning composition. Like everything up until then her sister's followed suit, demanding Polaroid's, disposable cameras, negatives, and on occasion attempting to steal the SLR their father had given to Elizabeth for her birthday. Mrs Bennett spent weeks trying to get Elizabeth to share, that is until Mr Bennett passed away and Elizabeth just gave her siblings the camera, keeping only one photo – she hadn't touched a camera since.
At 24 Elizabeth turned her hand to interior design, refusing to hire a team of decorators and she wreaked havoc on her new home, by insisting on painting all the walls herself and picking all the furniture; at the time she was 5 months pregnant, her sisters had been forbidden to contact her and Mrs Bennett cast out her daughter and didn't interfere at all - Elizabeth appeared to be happy.
Charlotte blinked, returning to reality and she simple raised a knowing eyebrow at Lizzie, waiting for her to admit her slovenly ways.
"What? What? I'm not..." Elizabeth looked away from Charlotte; she was determined not to swallow her pride.
"Me thinks she doth protest too much. You have never been a tidy per-,"
"Ye-," Lizzie tried to interject.
"EVER! Face it Izzy bean, you are the messy one of the family. Jane puts labels on her labels, files her files and checks and double checks her checks – that's not you and I love you for it, but right now I can actually see your desk, as opposed to having to wade through the tons of crap that normally sits on it. When you're happy and carefree you create chaos, when you've got something on your mind you suddenly go all Mary Poppins – spick and span." Charlotte slipped into Jane's identical cream leather chair, which was neatly tucked into her vacant desk and looked earnestly at Elizabeth.
"In chaos there is creativity," Elizabeth said softly, whilst twirling a lock of her brown hair around her finger – another childhood habit she hadn't grown out of.
"Then you are more creative than Van Gogh," Charlotte said with a smile, "what aren't you telling me bean?"
"Why did you ever start calling me bean?" Elizabeth snorted, trying to avoid the subject.
"Old habits die hard, now spill the beans – bean," both girls laughed, relaxing into their respective chairs and putting their feet up on the desks at the same time; definitely a practiced habit.
Over the past few weeks Jane and Charlotte had exchanged furtive looks and held private conferences about Elizabeth's reserved behaviour. Ordinarily Elizabeth was the glue that gelled the office together, she was the sugar in everyone's tea, and the comical relief after a hard day's work, but recently Elizabeth's energy was flat, Elizabeth smiled, but it never touched her eyes – something had happened to make the sparkle go away.
"Jane would kill us if she saw us doing this," Elizabeth mused, looking to both of their legs.
"Jane would kill us if she knew a lot of the things that we used to get up too – remember DC and the president, Jane would never have approved," at the same time both girls looked knowingly to the photo frame on the wall; Elizabeth was stood looking at the camera, a deep pout on her youthful face and an arm casually slung around a tall important mans shoulders – that was a good day.
"So are you going to tell your partner in crime what is going on?"
"Has anyone else noticed, the difference I mean..." Elizabeth questioned quietly, shiftily looking between her blank computer screen - how long had that been off - and Charlotte.
"Yes, but they just think your stressed about the Identity party..."It took Lizzie a few seconds to realise that Charlotte was now crouching down in front of her, "It takes a true friend to notice the subtle changes in your behaviour point to something much, much more important, you can tell me Izzy – what's wrong?"
Charlotte gently took Lizzie's hands in her own, placing a tender kiss on them and nodding her head in gentle encouragement.
"Subtle changes?" Elizabeth questioned and for the first time she really looked into her old friends face, and straight away she knew something was wrong.
Charlotte had never been impeccably dressed, she was always comfortable, but today there was no plainer word for her appearance than untidy. Her face was slimmer and dark circles were pooling underneath her eyes, causing her to look like she hadn't slept in days. Her hair hung wavy and unkempt and the hands that rubbed Elizabeth's were calloused and cracked and scratched her skin.
Charlotte snorted, not realising Elizabeth was studying her now, "Yes, I've only had to help you find your phone once this week, as opposed to the search and rescue party I normally assemble daily."
A crimson blush spread across Elizabeth's cheeks, and unshed tears sparkled in her eyes – how hadn't she noticed something was wrong with Charlotte, was she that selfish? For weeks she had been absorbed in her own problems, working tirelessly to shut out Darcy, but in truth all she had done was shut out everyone else she cared about.
"Shhhh! Lizzie what's wrong?" Charlotte didn't realise the tears were shed on her behalf and was caught off guard when Elizabeth swept her up into a bone crushing hug, knocking the air out of her lungs.
"Charlotte, I'm sorry," Elizabeth muttered into Charlotte's mousy brown hair, scrabbling to hold her closer.
"What has come over you? If anyone else was here they'd think you've gone mad," Slowly it dawned on Charlotte that they were no longer talking about Elizabeth, somehow – call it friendly intuition – Elizabeth had seen through the calm exterior to the caramel on the inside and in submission she began to weep.
Luckily it was way past normal office hours, and only the night owls and those who were in the habit of avoiding their problems; a grand total of 2, Charlotte and Elizabeth, were still at work. Recently the normally pleasant office was charged with energy, because of the number of events coming up and everyone had been working unsociable hours. The phone had been ringing incessantly for the past few weeks, and unlike normal Elizabeth had shut herself off from the commotion, preferring to bury her head in contracts, accounts, billing and proof reading as opposed to helping out with the day-to-day logistics of events. The strain Charlotte's increased workload wasn't helping her situation and now that Elizabeth was finally listening, it was time to tell her the truth.
"Oh Izzy..." Charlotte choked back a sob, "I don't know how to tell you."
"I'm here for you Charlie, I will always be here for you," even as Elizabeth spoke the words she knew they weren't entirely true, she hadn't been 100% behind Charlotte's decision to marry Ben Collins and recently she'd been too absorbed in a world without Fitzwilliam Darcy that she hadn't paid attention to anything, but her own problems.
"Oh Iz, Ben and I have been trying to get pregnant."
Elizabeth pulled back shocked at what she was hearing, Charlotte had never wanted to play mother before and her husband was too ridiculous to make a good father, "Charlotte, that's-," Elizabeth struggled internally for the right words, "great."
"No, no, it's not."
Elizabeth's dark eyebrows knitted together, confused, "Pardon?"
"I remember the words you said to me the day I told you we were engaged 'sometimes the love of a husband does not offer all the answers you are looking for, but one day you will find your great love' I found it Izzy. I know I want a baby."
"Then what's the problem?" Before she could stop herself the words came out, like verbal diarrhoea, they hung in the air; the answer too obvious now the question had been asked out loud. In a loud shriek Charlotte collapsed into Elizabeth's arms, wiping her running nose rather ungraciously on Elizabeth's black jumper, it can be burned later, Elizabeth thought.
"Farlie, there's a good chance there's nothing wrong," Elizabeth cooed, soothingly stroking her friends hair and mentally scolding herself for speaking so frankly – again. "It doesn't always happen the first time."
"Yes, but does it happen after the 782nd time? We've been trying for two years."
Elizabeth knew it was wrong, but the first thing that came to her mind was "782nd, no wonder Ben has a constantly demented smile on his face, he's probably recovering." Images of Ben Collins repulsive form lying on top of her flooded her mind, his sweaty paunch wiggling during the act of procreation and his pale white hairy legs wrapped around her as he...
"Elizabeth, are you okay, you've gone a little pale," gladly Charlotte interrupted her thoughts, it was a good thing as well, because the contents of Elizabeth's stomach were starting to gurgle and she shook her head, swallowing back the bile in her mouth – luckily William's father was a suitable sex god, not that she'd admit it out loud.
For the first time Elizabeth welcomed the images of Darcy's naked form her memory provided and she tried to keep hold of the figure of her Adonis as she looked back to Charlotte with sorrowful eyes.
"Sorry, I don't know what came over me. Have you been to the doctor?"
"Of course they've been to the doctor you idiot," Elizabeth's inner monologue continued before Charlottes response silenced her.
"No!" Charlotte said shamefully.
"NO?" Elizabeth shouted in surprise, "Charlotte that's ridiculous why not?"
Charlotte rubbed her hand on the luxurious brown, picking at individual fibres, not meeting Elizabeth's discerning gaze, "Ben doesn't want to," Charlotte mumbled timidly.
"Charlotte, Ben is a complete and utter-," Elizabeth's tone was acerbic, and the fury she felt practically pulsated off her.
Charlotte scooped herself off the floor and headed towards the door, "Watch it Elizabeth, that's my husband you're about to insult," Charlotte's tone was clipped, terse, and her eyes appeared jet black as they bored into Elizabeth's head, daring her to offer some reproach.
Never one to back down from a challenge Elizabeth continued, "Regardless, the man's a total idiot, Charlotte. You need to know if there is anything wrong."
"And how is that his fault if there is? This is typical of you, I knew you would find a way to blame him, it's pathetic – you're pathetic," Charlotte turned to face the door, clenching her one fist to her side and gripping the door handle with the other.
"It's his fault because he's too proud to face the fact that his walkers might not be up for the climb," doesn't mean you don't have to find out," Elizabeth panted, feeling the ire grow inside of her, "Just because he's a coward doesn't mean that you don't have to find out the truth."
"Coward? That's a bit rich coming from you - Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all," Charlotte responded tartly.
Elizabeth sensed that Charlotte had been hanging onto this anger for a while, but still the scathing tone which Charlotte used caused Elizabeth to retort, with little thought for the consequences, until it was too late, "What is that supposed to mean? Do you need to try another 700 times before you accept that-,"
"Accept what, Elizabeth? That I'm barren!" Charlotte screamed, completely losing her temper, "Accept that I might never have my own William, to love, to cherish, to hold, to kiss, to teach how to read or ride a bike," Charlotte whirled to face Elizabeth, mascara streaks tracing a pattern down her drawn cheeks.
Charlotte narrowed her eyes at her friend, and carried on, too irate to stop now, "Please Elizabeth, feel free to interject at any time with another one of your witty comments."
The desperation Elizabeth saw in her friends face caused the words to fail on her lips, somewhere along the lines this had stopped being a heart-to-heart discussion between best friends and turned into a personal attack.
"Don't feel the need to refrain from giving your opinion so freely now, no one usually asks for it and yet they always get it," Charlotte folded her arms across her chest, trying to hold back some of the venom, but then her eyes were drawn to the one thing, she didn't want to see right now; a photo of Elizabeth and William - it revived all her anger.
"Charlotte, I didn't mean to offend you. I can only imagine what you're going through," Elizabeth held her hands up in surrender, but Charlotte wasn't finished.
"No you can't – you don't have any idea what I'm going through. Everything has always comes so easily to you. I've lived in your shadow for years; I was your dumpy best friend at high school, I have been used by every man whose ever liked you to get close to you, I was your event's assistant when we worked together in London, even though I'd worked there two years longer than you and to top it all off I now work for you," Charlotte panted, trying to catch her breath.
Elizabeth just stood in stunned silence, unable to comprehend that one of the few people who she'd trusted her in entire life seemed to hate her so much.
"Even with William, that was easy for you. You got knocked up on a one night stand," Charlotte's lip curled, as the look she gave Elizabeth was akin to disgust, it made Lizzie draw her arms around herself for comfort, "I pitied you at first – poor Lizzie, so much potential and yet knocked up at 24 – but whose got the last laugh now, you have a beautiful baby boy, that everyone loves and I'm barren, unfertile, reproductively challenged: you can't even let me feel smug right, can you?"
"My family disowned me Charlotte; I had to leave my job, my friends, my life. I am 26 and alone, what part of that could you possibly envy," but you don't have to be alone, Elizabeth's subconscious interjected.
"But you chose to be alone – you chose to cut William off from his father, I didn't, I chose to embrace life and deal with my lot."
"Your lot in life? Charlotte, you settled – face it!"
"So did you, you chose to be alone. Even if William's father didn't want you, George did, he would have care for you and Will."Heck you chose to leave George, who would have cared for you."
Elizabeth choked, "I'm sorry, are we talking about the same George? Who's the hypocrite now; you hated him? You told me to dump him every day since our first date."
"Your right he wasn't ideal, but my point is you chose this life Elizabeth – I didn't, I didn't choose to not have children. I can't imagine what's it's like for William's father, not knowing he has a son, not being there to watch his son ride his bike for the first time without stabilisers or bring home his first date in high school. You're the most selfish person I have ever met," Charlotte looked at Elizabeth, who had forced her head up, to meet her friend's eyes. "Don't look at me like that, with that face of righteous indignation Elizabeth, you know I'm right. I've been your best friend for over 25 years and I have never once told you were wrong, and I have never told you how disgusted I am that you have concealed Will from his father."
"William's father is none of your business," Elizabeth chewed on her lip, taking measured breaths in an attempt to stop the sobs from breaking through.
"No you're right I don't, but I know he's probably one of the best men you will ever meet because you would never have slept with someone on a one night stand, unless he was the greatest man on earth." Charlotte paused for breath, her tense frame visibly shaking with anger, "after everything I have been through these past few months, I can't imagine being kept away from my child and I hope William doesn't grow up to hate you for it -,"
Charlotte's last statement hit Elizabeth right between the eyes; this was the one thing she had feared since the day William was born. No mother wants their child to hate them, especially since she wanted Darcy to be a part of both of their lives.
Darcy had been at the forefront of her mind now for three weeks; in every cup of coffee, mirror, computer screen, book, she was reminded of him; it was why she was working so late, she couldn't bear to look into William's beautiful eyes and see Darcy staring back - not when he'd promised to call and hadn't.
In 22 days, despite all the promises and reassurance he gave her, Fitzwilliam Darcy hadn't contacted them once, not even to comment on all the notes she'd written in his notepad, of course there was the possibility he hadn't seen them, but that didn't seem very likely, it had to have been the notepad her father gave him, and didn't he say that he took that everywhere with him? No, to Elizabeth, the only that made sense was that he'd given up on them - especially since she'd turned down his offer to go to Japan with him.
"– Elizabeth! Elizabeth! Arrrr," Charlotte gritted her teeth in frustration, "you are impossible, you never listen."
Elizabeth had zoned out.
"Oh, just go home and see your bloody son, stop being pathetic and hiding out here and just go home – I'm not coming in tomorrow." Charlotte slammed Elizabeth's door as she stormed out. Elizabeth watched as she didn't bother to pick up her laptop like normal and simply took her belongings and left, without looking back – what did that mean.
It felt like the silence stretched on for years, only filled with the gentle hum of hibernating computers as Elizabeth sat speechless, looking after her raging friend in wide eyed astonishment.
So many emotions were coursing through her veins, but shock numbed her senses, she couldn't believe Charlotte had spoken so cruelly against her and what had she meant by "I'm not coming in tomorrow."
In situations like this, it would be standard practice for anyone to turn to their best friend, for guidance and reassurance, but what's the standard protocol when that person seems to be repulsed by you – who do you turn to then?
Fate has a weird way of intervening in the lives of the lost and in perfect synchronisation with Elizabeth's thoughts, her phone began to vibrate on top of her desk and a blocked number flashed up on the screen. For a split second her hand hovered above the phone; who would call her this late at night. Should she answer or not - what the hell...
"Hello, Elizabeth Bennett speaking..."
A/N: A BIG thank you must go to alice-in-vunderland who beta'd this chapter for me (several times :)) and Loli-pop0394 who gave me her feedback on this before it was published.
Also thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed the last chapter, your kind words, comments and critiques really helped me and I loved hearing from you - would it be too much to ask you to keep it up :)
Anyway, so the bad news is, I'm going away for two weeks tomorrow and will not be able to update, but the GOOD news is that while I'm away I'll be doing lots of lounging by the pool, which will give me plenty of time to update all three of my stories.
Look forward to hearing from you,
Kx