CHAPTER 156

Running away from the mat after the fight, ignoring all of the praise he was receiving from the audience, Marcos found himself in the locker room. Tearing off his clothes, Marcos threw himself into the shower, turning the water onto its hottest possible setting. He relished in the way that it scalded his skin, the burning providing a weird catharsis and relief. It was like he was trying to burn the monster that lay within him before it could cause anyone else to get hurt.

Standing in the excruciatingly hot water, Marcos found himself scrubbing his entire body ferociously, trying to get all of the blood off of him. He scrubbed his arms with a towel until they were so red and inflamed that they looked like they were going to fall off, and he didn't even dare stop yet. He kept on going and going, the towel beginning to feel like a piece of rough sandpaper that was about to tear into his skin. He couldn't stop though. Not until he had managed to kill the monster that lay inside him, for now dormant but still at risk of reappearing once more. He needed to 'get clean'.

Marcos now knew more than ever that there was a monster inside him. He didn't know how to control it. He didn't know how to prevent it from rearing its ugly head. It was all seriously out of his control. It was like Marcos' restraint and common sense had been tied up and locked away deep inside him by the monster for the past 24 hours. They had only just managed to escape and burst free now, but who was to say when this would happen again? Marcos sure as hell had no way of control when these flashes of manic anger would occur. He had no way of stopping them either. It was like he was in a trance.

By the end of his long, boiling shower, Marcos' hands were trembling, but it wasn't because of the water. He was petrified. He was terrified at who he was becoming. What he was becoming. The shaking only got more violent as he put his Cobra Kai gi back on, now stained in places from both his blood and the blood of his opponent. He put on his pants but couldn't bring himself to put on the jacket. He held it in his hands, his whole body shaking and shuddering, tears beginning to trickle from his eyes.

All of a sudden, the door to the locker room swung open and Marcos heard footsteps from far away. Someone had just walked in, and his heart dropped. Who was it? Someone to condemn him - rightfully so - for the horrific, terrifying things he had done in the past 24 hours? Well, interestingly enough, the person who had just walked into the locker room had come in with the intention to do exactly that.

"Marcos?! Are you here?!" Sarah's unmistakable voice echoed through the otherwise empty locker room. For a moment, Marcos remained silent. He was hoping she wouldn't hear a response, and would turn around and leave. He couldn't face her right now. Not after what she had just watched him do.

Unfortunately for Marcos though, his shaky, heavy breathing gave him away, even if he didn't speak. Sarah could hear him deeper in the locker room so she ventured further inside, turning a corner before finally seeing him, his back to her.

"Look, Marcos, we need to talk about something." Sarah began. As Marcos slowly turned around to face her, Sarah took in the sight before her. It was clear that the ruthless killer he had been for the past 24 hours was long gone now. Tears stained the boy's cheeks, and Sarah could see him visibly trembling with fear.

She didn't hesitate to run over to him and pull him into a tight, comforting embrace. As she did so and said quiet words of reassurance in his ear, it was what Marcos said that nearly broke her.

"Sarah, I'm scared." Marcos whispered, in a broken voice no louder than a whisper. "What's happening to me? I'm a monster. I'm becoming a monster and I can't make it stop. I can't control it."

As Sarah slowly separated herself from the hug, still keeping Marcos' hands intertwined with her own, she shook her head.

"I was thinking this afternoon. About all of this. And I, um… I have a theory actually." Sarah murmured. "I was doing some research and I… I think I know what might be happening."

"Please. Tell me. Because there's a monster inside of me and I can't seem to control it! People are getting hurt, Sarah! Innocent people! I go into these trances and by the time I've awakened from them, people are already hurt! I'm terrified… this time it was the guy who beat me up, but who's to say it won't be someone else next?! Someone closer to me?! Kreese! Shawn! You!"

Sarah took a deep breath.

"I know." Sarah said. "And I think I know what might be happening because I've heard about exactly what you're describing before. From you actually."

Marcos' eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Huh?" He asked, confused. Sarah's face was a combination of concern, sympathy and hints of sadness.

"Marcos… going into a trance? Having flashes of fury? Anger episodes where you hurt people that you never would have hurt in a calm state of mind? Doesn't that sound a little bit familiar to you?" She asked softly.

It took Marcos a few moments to realize what she was saying, realize what straws she was grasping at. And as he did, he recoiled from her slightly.

"No, no, no, no, no! I'm not him! I'm nothing like him!" Marcos exclaimed. Sarah nodded.

"You're right. Because deep down, you're a good person. He wasn't." Sarah stated. "But that doesn't change the fact that your father had a disease, Marcos. Intermittent Explosive Disorder. That's what you told me you read in your mom's diary in Brazil. It's a legitimate mental health disorder, one that you have a genetic predisposition to, by nature of the fact that whether you like it or not, you are 50% biologically related to him."

"Sarah, I can't! I can't be like him!" Marcos shouted. "Because if I am… that means that eventually, I'm going to turn into the exact same monster he was! I'm going to not only hurt enemies, but the people I love too! I can't, Sarah! I can't!"

Tears were trickling down Marcos' face now with more fervor. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that there could be a chance that Sarah was right. The things he was doing, the symptoms he was showing… they very much did resemble his father. While for the most part, he was in a sane mindset, there were moments… flashes, during which he lost all control over himself.

As Sarah watched the tears begin to stream from her petrified boyfriend's face, Sarah's heart shattered for him. She couldn't bear to see him like this. It was like he was on her doorstep a few months ago, emotionally and physically beaten within an inch of his life, begging her to save him before he succumbed to it all and got killed.

"Marcos…" Sarah whispered, trying to pull him into another embrace, but this time Marcos recoiled away from her and shuffled backwards until his back hit the wall.

"No! Stay away from me! If you're right about this, you can't be around me! You can't see me when I… I have an episode! I'm not going to allow you to be sucked into all of this! Not like my mom was!"

That was Marcos' biggest fear. If Sarah was right about all of this, if Marcos did indeed have the same illness as his father, that meant that history was repeating itself. Sarah was trying to be supportive, just like Marcos' mom had. But there would inevitably come a point, some time down the road, when it eventually became too much and… Marcos couldn't bear to even think about the same thing happening to Sarah like had happened to his mom.

However, as his back hit the wall and he couldn't retreat any further, Sarah slowly approached him. Moving towards him cautiously like she was approaching a traumatized animal, she gently took his hand and nearly burst into tears herself when she saw him flinch in fear at the contact, the boy scared to even be near her now.

"Marcos, please listen to me." Sarah said in a calm, gentle tone. "What I said… all it is is a theory. It's just a theory. I'm not a doctor so I have no clue if it's even remotely close to accurate or not. But as soon as we get home, I swear that we'll get you all of the proper testing needed to diagnose something like this."

"And if it is true? If I am deemed to be the same kind of monster that he was? Sarah, you know I can't be around you anymore if that's the case. I can't let you be around me if I'm like that. Not like she was for him. I can't push you to the edge like he did to her."

"If it is true… then we'll handle it. Together. Marcos, you are not your father and I am not your mother. What happened to her is heartbreaking, but we're not them. What happened to your father happened because he wasn't taking the proper medication needed for his disorder. You know that. We'll break the pattern. We'll make sure you're taking the exact medication that you're required to deal with this thing."

"You really think they didn't say that too at the beginning? You really think they didn't have the exact same conversation we're having right now?! Fact is that all the words in the world can't save us when manic episodes like these happen! And it only takes one! Sarah, there's no way in hell I'm staying around you if I'm going to have to deal with this shit forever!"

"Well I'm sorry about that one, buddy, because unfortunately for you, you're kind of stuck with me." Sarah remarked. "Whether you like it or not, I plan on being with you for a looooong time. Like a really loooooooong time."

Sarah tried to use a humorous tone to lighten the heavy load that was being placed on their shoulders right now and it worked a little. Marcos smiled faintly, not at the humor, but at the thought of being able to spend his life with Sarah. However, that smile quickly faded as he remembered everything else that was going on. Sarah noticed that and she leaned in, kissing him gently.

"Look, Marcos, we've already spent 3 months apart. I don't know about you, but those 3 months… they sucked. They really, really sucked. If I learned even one thing from them, it was that I don't plan on spending a second longer apart. No matter what gets thrown at us in the process." She said. "Whatever it is, we'll deal with it together, I promise you. I'm not going anywhere."

It was Marcos' turn to lean in and kiss her, his emotions swinging back and forth between terror and trepidation about what was happening to him, and gratitude for the incredible girl that he still couldn't believe was still in his life at this point, even after seeing the lowest parts of him.

"I love you. So much." Marcos murmured.

"Love you too." Sarah beamed at him before taking his hand and leading him out of the room. "Now come on. We need to go. Semi final draw is right now. Let's go find out who we're up against…"