Hi guys, Calborghete here, how are you all? I hope everyone is doing well.

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So now without further ado, enjoy your reading.

"Dialogues"

- Thoughts -

"Radio Talk"

"Self talk."

Liability Note:

Evangelion, its characters and setting are the property of Hideaki Anno. Any brands, movies and series mentioned in this Fanfic are the property of their creators.

(*)

Chapter 21 - The Calm before the Storm

Shinji was walking through the halls of Wunder, his mind was at peace, these days were not easy for him, still having a lot to assimilate in his head, from one day to the next everything had changed for Shinji Ikari.

Bringing his hand to his face, he could still feel the anxiety taking over his body, old habits die hard, it would take some time for him to really accept that he was innocent, after years of isolation, after years of thoughts that said he was nothing less than a freak, a murderer, something dangerous that should be destroyed as soon as possible.

Shinji was walking, completely oblivious to his surroundings, his face may have been looking forward, but his mind was far, far away from the reality that circled him.

The people around him hadn't changed, they didn't have access to the content that Shinji had seen, he received curious looks, for the Wunder crew, this was another day like any other, the people who crossed Shinji's path had different reactions, each one had his own reality, he received looks of disdain, of anger or admiration.

But this day was different, he didn't seem to mind the stares, because his mind was still too focused on processing what had happened. One question reigned in his mind, who was the pilot? Who did this unit work for? Of course his mind could answer at least one of these questions, the pilot of the Mark 06 works for his father or for the SEELE, because why would one person end the world in this way?

Shinji closed his eyes as he tried to clear his mind, grumbling about his head not giving him peace even in the moments he should be celebrating. "Damn."

"Shinji?" Called a soft, very delicate, feminine voice.

Jumping a little when he heard his name called, Shinji forced himself to come back to the real world, looking at the person who had called his attention, his eyes met with the person who called him, giving a small smile when he saw Rei's intense red eyes staring at him with her cold posture.

Shinji could see his sister's eyes, to the people around him, Rei Ayanami was just a clone made by Gendo at NERV, many saw her as a freak, others as a person who was not to blame for being that way, but to Shinji, Rei represented a lot, even though she was not that Rei he tried to save, but still she was a very dear and precious person, for she carried the face of his mother, she was his blood family and that person who was always by his side in the most difficult moments of his life.

"Hello Rei." Shinji greeted with a happy smile on his face, he had slept well tonight, even though he had horrible nightmares from the lack of Asuka's presence, but at least they came down to the standards, again he dreamed of his father abandoning him, of the EVAS fights, of his time in prison, of the feeling of loneliness that his nights carried. "How are you?"

It might sound crazy to others, but to sleep and not dream of the faces of the people the third impact destroyed, to know that this burden had been removed from his shoulders had had the desired effect.

Shinji still didn't know what Asuka was to him these days, even though he had made love to her at least twice, he knew that there was still a lot to go through with her, giving time to fate, Shinji knew that everything would happen in its own time.

Rei heard Shinji greeting her, a feeling of joy ran through her body as she heard her brother's voice, she still didn't know how she felt in Shinji's presence, but all Rei could want was to feel the affection he had always meant for her.

Rei could still remember how Shinji distanced himself from her in the red land, feeling highly confused as she wanted to know why, many times Rei wanted to confront him for knowing the information, but as she remembered his downcast posture from those times, her courage was destroyed in the blink of an eye.

The red-eyed girl could still remember when she was told of her origin, finally Rei's mind discovered the reason for Shinji's strangeness at being near her, for carrying her mother's face can't be an easy thing for people to deal with.

As time went on, more Rei came to accept herself, intensely seeking to discover her identity, she wanted to know who Rei Ayanami was, she wanted to know who she was, to finally be able to separate the word clone, to finally become a normal person, a normal human being.

"I'm doing fine." Rei replied directly, her lack of malice for social conversations was a problem, even Rei could recognize this, but fortunately, the people close to Rei could see this, as the history of being raised by Gendo in NERV for fourteen years weighed heavily, having lived in absolute isolation for so long.

She could still remember those times at NERV, how she simply sat in her room waiting for orders, her mind always blank, she rarely went out for a walk, in fact she had nothing to admire at the old NERV headquarters.

Rei could strongly remember Shinji bringing books, but unlike everything else, she didn't know what a book was, many times Rei caught herself standing looking at the sky, caught herself listening to the sounds that the boy who lived with them made, even though Rei didn't know what those sounds were, but the feeling they brought were comfortable to the mind, many times Rei walked at the same time just to hear those beautiful sounds again.

Shinji was looking at Rei's face, he knew that she was not a person of many words, if it was anyone else, this would be highly strange, but the silence that Rei brought was somehow welcoming, so he waited, but soon he realized something wrong, Rei's eyes that for many conveyed nothing, Shinji realized something.

Frowning as he stared into his sister's face, he could see the feeling in her eyes, Shinji knew that Rei was in search of his identity. "What is it Rei?"

Rei still stared at Shinji strongly, she had heard his question, soon her mind began to listen to her body, looking for any sign of discomfort that might hinder the functioning of her body, she felt nothing.

The only thing that was bothering Rei was her search for her identity, but her mind judged that it would be something personal and of her own resolution and that she should not involve others in her search.

"Nothing, my body is working properly." Rei replied in her monotone voice.

Shinji gave a small smile, approaching his sister, he knew would have to be more specific in his questions.

"I know your body is fine." Shinji asked with a controlled voice. "But I can see that there is something bothering you."

At this moment Rei lowered her eyes, she listened to Shinji's words, her mind pondered if she should open up to Shinji, soon she got the answer she wanted, Rei knew Shinji could help her, he was her brother first and foremost. "I don't know what this feeling is inside me."

"What feeling?" Shinji asked as he became more curious, he wanted to be able to help Rei, it was a way to repay all she had done for him.

"I don't know." Rei spoke as she faced Shinji again in the eyes, she could see the confusion on his face, knowing that his answer did not make room for questions, she soon rephrased her thoughts. "I am having some strange dreams, they became more frequent after you and unit 01 were incorporated into Wunder."

Shinji leaned against the wall and listened to everything intently. "What dreams Rei?"

"I have memories that I have not remembered experiencing." Rei began to speak, her voice was delicate, carrying no feeling, but Shinji could sense that she was anxious.

"Memories?" Shinji asked as he became even more confused, he still didn't know about this connection of Rei to his other bodies, but he can't help but feel a shiver run down his back, listening to Rei speak was like listening to a ghost.

"Yes, I remember being with you, Captain Shikinami and people I didn't know in a sort of factory, there were lots of sea animals there." Rei could see when Shinji's eyes widened, she could see that he knew about the place she described.

"Oh my God." Shinji spoke as he recognized this memory of Rei, it was when Kaji had taken them to a marine life conservation center, he soon felt his hands opening and closing, a habit he knew showed when he was nervous.

Rei realized this, she immediately wondered if she had done the right thing in revealing this to Shinji, but before she could say anything, Shinji asked in shock.

"Rei ... What else do you remember?" Shinji asked anxiously, but before giving Rei time to answer, he spoke again. "Who knows about that?"

"I remember other events ... I remember you coming into my room and ending up falling on top of me with your hand on my left breast ... I remember being in a room with other people in the same age range as me." Rei began to speak, she saw how Shinji blushed as she heard about the NERV access card incident, but she soon remembered Shinji's other question. "I have only reported it to a few people, they are only Mari and Sakura and Subcommander Akagi, but I can believe that Colonel Katsuragi must be aware."

Shinji took a few steps back when he heard this, Rei was somehow recalling memories of his old clone, running his hands over his face, he soon heard Rei speaking again.

"I feel an urge to join unit 01, I can feel a presence in it calling me." Rei spoke as she lowered her head to the ground, she didn't know it but she felt ashamed to be saying these things, somehow these memories stirred a strange feeling inside her, it was in these moments that Rei felt less human.

Shinji recovered in time to see Rei's change in posture, as she became withdrawn, he could see that she was embarrassed, he quickly spoke. "What is it?"

"I ... I ... It's in those moments that I don't feel human." Rei spoke as she became downcast, she hated this feeling, it reminded her of the times in NERV, after meeting Shinji, meeting her friends and having a role within Wunder, Rei finally realized what it was like to live.

Pulling his sister into a hug, Shinji still had his words in his head, but seeing Rei downcast was heartbreaking. "Easy ... Don't think like that." He could feel her in his arms, Rei hadn't returned the hug, she still didn't know how to react in social situations, but one thing she could do and that was relax.

"Never think like that Rei, never!" Shinji spoke harshly, he didn't want his sister to feel bad, running his hands down Rei's back in hopes of bringing her some comfort. "You are more human than many people Rei."

"But I wasn't born." Rei spoke as he listened to Shinji's heart, it really was a very comforting sound. "I am a clone."

Shinji felt his heart breaking at this, she cared a lot about Rei and hearing her talk like this was breaking him up.

"It doesn't matter ... It doesn't matter if you didn't come into the world the traditional way... It doesn't matter if you're a clone... You a normal human being like everyone else." Shinji spoke as he pulled Rei away and looked into her intense red eyes, he could see that she was listening to everything intently "You are my sister and that is all that matters."

He could see Rei looking away and getting a thoughtful look on her face, he could tell she was processing his words, Shinji noticed her nodding slightly.

Praying that his words had had the desired effect, but soon Rei spoke as he moved further away, finally Shinji remembered that Rei was holding a series of documents in his hands. "What's that?"

Rei looked down and saw the papers. "They are the documents that Subcommander Akagi requested, I have to go."

"Sure Rei, I hope I didn't get in the way." Shinji spoke as he scratched his head.

Rei only turned around and started walking back to Ritsuko's room, but Shinji's words could help somehow, before walking, Rei spoke without turning around. "Shinji ... Thank you."

Shinji gave a smile as he saw Rei's back, seeing her giving words of gratitude was very nice, "Whenever you need it."

He watched as Rei walked away, she got lost as she turned a corner in the long halls of Wunder, again Shinji was left with his thoughts, talking to Rei had helped, but the boy had a lot to think about, he had a lot to put in order in his head.

Soon he came across the cafeteria, seeing how he had walked through the halls, getting lost in time, bringing his hand to his face, Shinji soon gave a deep sigh, but seeing the tables, a memory popped into his head.

Assenting to this, he soon walked on, heading to his destination, he only hoped he could help and not be kicked out, as he opened the metal door, his eyes passed through the processing machines.

Cutting the vegetables, Takeda heard the door being opened, he thought it was some other crew member going to his post, soon his eyes fell on Jasem's back working in front of him.

Turning to see who it was, soon the young Takeda's eyes widened when he saw Shinji standing in front of him, seeing how intensely he stared at him, Takeda's hands were visibly shaking.

"Sorry for the intrusion." Shinji spoke keeping his voice calm as he saw the nervousness of the young man in front of him. "But can I join you today?"

Takeda started to stammer out a response, soon Shinji could notice Jasem turning around and facing him, Shinji could see the confusion in Jasem's eyes.

"Lieutenant, what are you doing here?" Jasem asked in a normal, cold voice.

Shinji only watched as Takeda turned around and went back to chopping the vegetables. "I always cook whenever I have something on my mind."

Jasem only nodded, he knew very well what that feeling was like, he knew the feeling of needing to think and having nothing to relieve that feeling. "Sure."

Soon Shinji saw when Jasem pointed to the countertop next to him, he quickly joined in, watching as Jasem and Takeda cut up the vegetables and supplies to make the lunch portions.

Jasem watched as Shinji began to work, noting how very skillful Shinji was as he began to cut everything that was needed. "You're good at that."

Shinji gave a small smile, never taking his eyes off the task in front of him, the same was true of Jasem, soon his mind flooded with memories. "I ... I used to cook for Asuka and Misato before all this happened."

Jasem only nodded, soon he remembered to cook for his wife and daughter himself, but he could see that Shinji had a lot on his mind. "Do you want to talk?"

Shinji stopped cutting and immediately thought about Jasem's words, he could still remember Misato's words asking everyone to keep it a secret, she was thinking about what she was going to do with the footage, they had to act cautiously now.

"No ... I'd love to, but I'm not allowed to talk." Shinji spoke dejectedly, he wanted everyone to see that footage, to finally stop being seen as a murderer by the crew, but he knew Misato was right, they had to proceed with caution.

Jasem only nodded, he knew that Shinji carried a big burden and he didn't know the truth about it respecting Shinji's space yet, but Jasem can't help but feel curious, he didn't know why, but Shinji had something that piqued his interest in him. "Is that it?"

Shinji knew what Jasem was referring to, he knew he couldn't reveal the truth about the third impact before Misato's orders, but he could use the information everyone already knew about it. "That's right."

Jasem stopped cutting the synthetic meat that Wunder had, he only nodded. "You know something kid." Jasem spoke as he turned and faced Shinji in the eyes. "Staying in the past doesn't do any good, dwelling on it will only finish you off inside, focus your mind on the memories that are worthwhile."

Shinji nodded, he already knew the truth, but Jasem's words were helping him somehow, he could use this advice for other things, starting with his own past.

Jasem saw Shinji's thoughtful face, he wondered if his advice helped in any way, but soon one thing took his attention, his colleague Takeda was working just behind near the stoves, Jasem only shook his head in disbelief. "Takeda! Your apron is on fire again." Jasem spoke in his cold voice as he returned to his function, he only listened to Takeda struggling to put out the small fire in his clothes.

As the day went on, Shinji worked hard to prepare the meals, using everything he had the right to, Jasem had shown him the warehouse, seeing how they had some spices at their disposal, Shinji didn't understand why they were in the corner gathering dust, but decided not to ask.

Seeing the processing machine working, he knew that the spices would help the taste of the food, Shinji could only hope that his food would be good, he finished what he was doing, thanking himself again for being accepted into the kitchen, really cooking calmed him down.

(*)

Inside Wunder's bridge, everyone was getting ready to leave for lunch, there was always half the crew left there to keep things in order until the first group returned.

"Man I'm starving." Tama spoke as he looked at her watch, seeing that she would still have to wait for another half hour before she could go out and eat something, his mind still quivering at the bad taste of food, but food was food for an empty stomach.

"True, but I just want to be able to relax a little, my back is killing me." Koji spoke as he stretched out his arms.

"Who said to be old? " Midori spoke as she joined the conversation, she spoke with a smile on her face, soon Tama began to giggle at her colleague's joke.

Koji gave his colleague a sour smile, but soon he spoke amused. "You guys enjoy it while you can, age will come for you too."

Tama only laughed a little louder, the mood was good these days on the bridge, they were managing to cope with almost everything that was happening, Wunder was avoiding the risk areas on orders from the WILLE command, everyone could sense that something big was being planned, but nothing was being talked about yet.

Ritsuko was on the upper stage, she gave a brief glance down as she saw all the technicians on the bridge, with a smile on her face she thought as she went to her console.

Misato looked at Ritsuko's movement, she could see the look and the small smile she had on her face, but it was not a smile of satisfaction, but a smile that showed her mind was planning something.

Ritsuko sat down and started to open her command console, typing in some codes, soon Misato noticed Ritsuko plugging something into one of the USB inputs.

Approaching cautiously, Misato asked suspiciously. "What's that?"

Ritsuko didn't bother to answer, her fingers typed the commands at an incredible speed, her eyes not even moving from the screen as she watched the lines being typed. "You'll see."

Misato felt more confused by everything that was happening, and soon her eyes widened as she heard her colleague speaking again.

"Just promise that you will follow the theater."

Misato only saw when she pressed a single key, watching as a small progress line appeared and quickly disappeared, Misato was looking at Ritsuko's back, she only saw when her friend lowered her shoulders and gave a downcast sigh.

Soon Misato saw the reason, all the monitors on the command bridge started to suffer from interference, Misato was about to freak out, turning to Ritsuko who kept a cold and scientific posture at her post.

"What have you done?!" Misato asked as she felt the adrenaline rush, speaking quietly but forcefully, she didn't want the others to hear her words.

Listening to her subordinates trying to understand what was going on with their consoles Misato completely ignored them, she only saw Ritsuko's back become stiff, walking over to her using her hands to turn her around, Misato only stared at her, seeing her eyes downcast and full of guilt.

Misato could see how tired Ritsuko's eyes were, she could see that Ritsuko hadn't slept for some time, but that was for later, she had to think about Wunder's safety and Ritsuko's actions didn't show that she should think otherwise.

"Ritsuko! What have you done?!" Misato asked as she began to become more agitated, soon she began to think about Wunder's safety, bringing her hand to her waist and beginning to reach for her pistol.

"I'm just going to show you the truth." Ritsuko spoke with a calm and tired voice, Misato could see all to her weariness. "Nothing more than that, no more secrets."

Misato was ready to speak, her face had a heavy scowl, her mind was in commander mode, memories of the battle in central dogma came into her mind, of the moment when the systems were corrupted and she lost control of Wunder, Misato still shuddered as she saw in her mind the SEELE symbol in front of her.

But before he completely freaked out, Misato heard the voice of his crew members, turning his head to the side and seeing all the chaos that Ritsuko had caused.

"What's happening!?" Hyuga shouted as he tried to control his consoles.

"I don't know!" Shigeru retorted as he tried to do the same, they didn't know, but everyone in Wunder was suffering in the same way.

"I still have control!" Koji shouted as he held the controls tightly, he checked all the time to see if Wunder was still in his hands.

"The gravity and AT field systems normal!" Sumire spoke as she looked at their systems, her eyes going from their information to the central display, seeing how the external image were wobbling, everyone could see that it would only be a matter of time before they lost it completely.

Drawing his gun and placing it on Ritsuko's chest, Misato asked sharply. "What have you done?"

Ritsuko didn't seem to mind this, her mind was at peace, but soon she thought of the reasons she was doing this, and soon her eyes filled with tears.

A lone tear ran down her face, Misato realized this, Ritsuko only spoke. "That is the right thing ... I can't take any more lies."

Misato felt even more confused, she wasn't understanding Ritsuko's motivations, seeing how they still had partial control of the Wunder, it didn't look like she was trying to end the ship.

Ritsuko turned her head and saw her console, she knew that her plan was only a few steps away, she saw how ridiculous the efforts of the others were, that her fear was in vain, Wunder was safe.

"Misato ... Just wait." Ritsuko spoke as she looked Misato in the eye, she could see all of her friend's distrust, she didn't blame Misato for this, really her actions would cause this kind of behavior from others. "I can't take being manipulated anymore, enough!"

Misato only shook her head, at every word Ritsuko said, but Misato felt confused, but before she ordered, soon the lights on the bridge flashed.

Everyone looked on in shock as the central monitor went off, everyone just stared in shock, at this point Wunder was flying blind.

Misato's eyes widened as something began to play on the central display, turning her eyes back to Ritsuko's, Misato lowered her hands, her eyes now locked on the video she had watched with Shinji a few days ago.

Ritsuko had a smile on her face, finally her conscience was at peace with at least one thing, she was just worried that her former ward Maya wasn't freaking out that they were in an attack.

Everyone's eyes widened as they recognized what was being broadcast, everyone saw when the video about the third impact was being shown on the bridge.

"Is that the third impact?" Tama asked as she looked at Midori who was glazing over the video, her eyes were fixed on unit 01 who started the third impact ritual, but one thing was not right, that video was not like the official reports.

Hyuga and Shigeru exchanged glances, they had some memories of that day, but like everyone else, over time this got blocked out, soon their breaths quickened.

Midori shook her head to the side as she saw the image of the Mark 06 stopping the third impact, she knew that Shinji was piloting Unit 01, but this new unit was completely unknown to her, feeling her hands shaking as she looked at the screen, her mind was in chaos, it was as if she had been punched really hard in the head.

Tama was staring wide-eyed at the screen, completely ignoring his consoles.

Koji was holding the controls, he still had the direction and altitude information, as Wunder was not falling or being attacked, his attention was soon on the display.

Still maintaining her shocked look, Misato only turned her face to Ritsuko's, now understanding what she had done, she was showing the truth, but this only proved to be something extremely dangerous, the secret was being revealed to the crew, even though she knew that a large part of them were not seeing it, but the rumors and information like this was going fast.

"Ritsuko." Misato asked as she lost her aggressive and shocked posture, she only stared as Ritsuko's face eased, she could now see the reason for the Wunder vice commander's lack of sleep.

Ritsuko was the sounds coming from the technicians, feeling the lightness of her actions, she had planned everything carefully, no trace would be left in the systems, there was no way she could be discovered, just as the video and her "attack" started, it would end.

And that's exactly what happened, just as it started, it ended, soon the external image came back, the sunlight again illuminated the bridge, but everyone didn't move, feeling the weight of the images, the technicians on the bridge only exchanged glances.

Midori looked down at her hands, she could feel the anxiety running inside her, feeling the weight of her actions, soon the pink haired girl felt the anger welling up inside her, but this time it was not being directed at Shinji, but at why they had not been informed about this before, she trusted WILLE and her principles wholeheartedly, feeling the sense of betrayal.

Tama sat down in her chair and gave a snort, soon her hunger had vanished as if by magic. "What was that?"

"I ... I don't know." Koji spoke as he looked at his younger colleague, he knew Kaji was searching for the truth, remembering his old friend's words, but this was too big, he himself was feeling strange after watching the video and this that Koji bragged about being a person who was not easily impressed.

Hyuga and Shigeru looked down, they didn't know who it was that showed them this video, but it only made them remember the old days, they remembered the intrigues that surrounded NERV, and WILLE were not very different, their aspects were the same, even their functions were similar.

Misato only took Ritsuko by the shoulders, guiding her to her office, this was too big, her actions needed to be explained, her mind was screaming, but she would have to keep her calm at times like this.

Seeing how Ritsuko was not showing any kind of effort in stopping Misato's actions, her mind still thinking about what they did, wondering if she had taken the right actions, if her motivations were correct.

Feeling Misato's grip on her shoulder, Ritsuko knew she would have to give many explanations about what she had done, but she was ready, as she had promised when she thought of her plan, no more secrets, the world should know what was going on, the world had a right to know what was being done under the covers.

Misato was pushing Ritsuko into her living room, she knew that the bomb had been exploded, she knew that not everyone at Wunder had seen the video, but this news would flow like wind, faster than the air traveled through the ventilation ducts.

She wanted everyone to know that Shinji was a victim like everyone else, that he was one more who had his life destroyed at the hands of Gendo, but she didn't know if this act of Ritsuko had helped the hindrance in any way, she just hoped it had.

Opening her door, Misato pushed Ritsuko inside with force, seeing how she struggled to keep her balance, Misato stared at her strongly, her hands were shaking with the anxiety running through her body, she was struggling not to freak out, she could see how Ritsuko was standing still, her eyes showed that she was waiting for the answers.

"Why?" Misato asked sharply.

Ritsuko only smiled, she could see that Misato was agitated. "It's the right thing ... No more lies."

"What the fuck Ritsuko!" Misato exploded as she brought her hands to her hair, millions of scenarios running through her head.

"Fuck why? Isn't that what you wanted?" Ritsuko retorted keeping her voice calm, her mind was processing everything. "Your precious Shinji is now innocent, everyone who saw this now will know."

Misato calmed down momentarily, but she was far from calm. "Innocent ... WILLE hid this! What do you think they'll do when they see it leaked?!" Misato asked strongly. "I want Shinji free more than anything, but that's not the way it's going to be!"

"Then tell me how?!" Ritsuko exploded as well, raising her hands in the air. "Do you think Kaji will accomplish anything?! You think WILLE won't manipulate things so that whatever they're planning will work out!?"

Misato felt shocked by Ritsuko's sudden outburst, but her words had some reason.

Ritsuko seeing this only fueled her theory. "Yes ... Listen Misato, WILLE is up to something, so why would they be hiding this information from the world? What does it matter whether the third impact was caused by Shinji or not?"

Misato only gave a long sigh, all this was being too big for her mind, she wasn't sure how she was going to cope with everything that was happening. "But now that you've thrown the shit on the fan Ritsuko ... How long before they react?"

"Ah, spare me Misato, they'll never know what happened." Ritsuko spoke with disgust on her face at the possibility that she had been discovered, her code wiped away any trace.

"Ritsuko." Misato spoke as she restrained her anger. "We had the element of surprise, now that's gone." Misato could feel the fear in her own voice, she only stared as Ritsuko lowered her shoulders and head.

After a few seconds of silence, Misato was thinking about what she was going to do, still not knowing how she should react if WILLE asked, she didn't know whether to confront them or act as if nothing had happened, but soon she heard Ritsuko speaking again, her voice carrying a lot of emotion and tiredness.

"No more manipulation." Speaking above a whisper, but Misato could hear perfectly well.

"What?" Misato asked confused, even though she had listened to Ritsuko's last sentence.

"I said enough!" Ritsuko spoke with red eyes. "No more serving as a rag doll for them! I've already been manipulated once and it won't happen again!"

Misato only looked at her former friend, she was not understanding Ritsuko's words, they seemed like she was talking about other events. "What's going on?"

Ritsuko finally let her emotions out of her body, Misato saw her former friend crumble, seeing the former NERV scientist openly crying.

"I'm tired Misato." Ritsuko spoke as she lowered her head and covered her eyes. "Tired of being manipulated by others. I thought WILLE was different ... I am a horrible person Misato."

Soon a great silence reigned in Misato's office, the only sound was Ritsuko's sobs, Misato just waited.

"I ... used to do things with him." Ritsuko spoke with disgust as she remembered the nights she was Gendo's lover, she remembered when she tried to replace his dead wife in hopes of being able to win his cold heart. "I was always there for him."

"He who?" Misato asked apprehensively, but deep down she knew who this person was.

"Gendo damn it! Who else would it be!?" Ritsuko exploded again, tears tearing down her face. "I would do anything for him! That miserable bastard was fucking me every way he wanted and I didn't say a word! All I wanted was to be loved back and what did he give me in return? Nothing!"

"Ritsuko ... I don't understand ... What does this have to do with the situation?" Misato asked confused as she listened to her friend's words, she knew this must cause Ritsuko great distress, but it still didn't explain her handing out the truth about the third impact.

"Everything has to do with it!" Ritsuko spoke as she wiped her face, she knew she was running off topic by talking about her dubious past with Gendo. "He humiliated me every night he wanted me, he humiliated me when he touched me, he humiliated me when he ordered me to take care of his beloved wife's clone." Ritsuko spoke with disgust upon learning of Rei's origin.

"Wife clone?" Misato asked confused as she approached, she had never seen another woman next to Gendo at that time.

"Hahaha." Ritsuko gave a sarcastic, fake laugh. "Misato, you really were blind. You never really realized how similar Rei and Shinji are?"

Misato's eyes widened as she understood the metaphor, she knew that Rei Ayanami was a clone, but she had never known her real origin, this information had never been discovered, finally understanding why Shinji had said Rei was his sister.

"Oh my God." Misato spoke in shock as she leaned on her desk.

Ritsuko seeing this decided to continue talking. "It's Rei Ayanami was made from the remains of Yui Ikari. Every time that girl came near me it was a humiliation, that's why I acted the way I did when I saw Shinji again."

Misato raised her head when she heard Shinji's name.

"He is his son." Ritsuko spoke with disgust on her face. "He is his offspring, every time I look at Shinji I see his father, all the anger he represents to me, that's why I had no remorse at all in suggesting his death when Rei captured him from Wunder, that's why I felt no pity for him when he was locked in a cell."

Rolling her eyes as wide as she could, Misato saw that Ritsuko was taking out her anger over Gendo on Shinji. "Ritsuko! What did Shinji have to do with it?"

"Nothing." Ritsuko spoke as she retorted the stare. "I just wanted to get back at him."

Misato was about to kill her former friend, but her next sentence stopped her, she remembered all the times Ritsuko said Shinji should be dead, all the times he suggested the worst things, all the times she was cruel to Shinji and Rei just to quench her thirst for revenge on Gendo Ikari.

"I wanted to cause pain to Gendo, but after a while, I saw that Gendo didn't like Shinji, so it wouldn't do any good. He wasn't his father." Ritsuko spoke as she calmed down, that's when the guilt began to surface."

"I would stop at night and see how dumb I was being, a horrible human being." Ritsuko spoke as she lowered her eyes in guilt. "Then Kaji came along with his search for the truth, I had already come to terms with the fact that Shinji was to blame for all this shit, that WILLE was really an organization that wanted to end Gendo. That's why I convinced you to come in and run Wunder, I'd have a chance to finish that son of a bitch off." Ritsuko spoke as she wiped her face again, her hands were shaking as she spoke.

"All the guilt Shinji was receiving was like the best orgasm for me, seeing his cub suffering gave me joy." Ritsuko stopped as she saw the angry look Misato was giving her. "When Kaji gave us the video, it was like something hit me hard in the face, All the shit I put him through came back with everything ... That's when I realized ... Shinji didn't know anything, revisiting that damn event made me have a revelation."

Misato was making a great effort not to punch Ritsuko.

"I realized that it wasn't his fault, it wasn't Shinji's fault that his father is a monster, that's when I realized something. WILLE is no different than NERV, we are always being manipulated and for what?" Ritsuko spoke as she searched her pockets for her cigarettes, but her hands stopped. "So that's when I got the idea, no more of this shit, no more secrets, no more everything."

"Now some of Wunder knows the truth and it will fly like the wind in here." Ritsuko spoke as she lit a cigarette, her hands still shaking. "Shinji doesn't deserve to fuck himself over the shit his father did ... WILLE is not going to manipulate people's heads anymore, enough is enough, NERV has done enough damage to the world."

"And you thought releasing everything to the world will help?" Misato spoke as she approached, her fists were closed.

Ritsuko only stared when she felt a strong thud I her face, feeling her body falling to the ground, she only saw when Misato was standing still looking at her. "You! What did Shinji have to do with your problems?" Misato spoke with a more intense controlled voice.

Ritsuko only lowered her gaze to the ground, she could taste the blood in her mouth from the punch she got from Misato, but she listened to everything Misato was saying, everything was true, Shinji was not to blame for anything.

"Shinji could have been killed just for you to get revenge on the man who didn't value you!" Misato exploded as he saw Ritsuko lying on the ground. "Can you understand what you have done?!"

Ritsuko sat on the floor, she was listening and agreeing with everything Misato was saying. "Yes I understand, now I understand ... Now do you understand why I think I am a horrible human being?"

Misato breathed in a few times, feeling the anger still welling up inside her.

"I just wanted him to accept me." Ritsuko spoke as she looked at Misato with downcast eyes. "Do you know what that is? You'll never know because you have Kaji!"

Misato held Ritsuko by the collar of her blouse, lifting her off the ground, looking hard into her eyes. "Do you think that justified what you did? No, and do you know why? You should have known better than anyone that you were never alone, you had a person who always longed for your love, but you turned out to be the dumbest person in the world by wishing for something you couldn't have." Misato spoke as she pushed Ritsuko away.

Hearing Misato's words, Ritsuko gave a sarcastic snort. "And who is it? Tell me."

"Are you so blind or are you just playing dumb?" Misato spoke with disgust as she saw that her classmate had never noticed. "From the person who was the smartest in the room, you never realized that Maya was always looking at you with different eyes? She was almost begging for your attention."

"Maya." Ritsuko whispered upon hearing the name of her former ward, she had never noticed the signs and that reason was her desire for Gendo.

"Yes, the poor girl has been expecting you all along." Misato spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, this did not make her anger subside any further. "You were always blind and that led to now, I hope you were satisfied with the outcome ... At least one good thing came out of all this shit, at least Shinji won't have to deal with the fucking crew anymore. "

Ritsuko only looked on as Misato turned and left her office, but her mind was focused on Maya's image, soon she wondered how she hadn't thought of this aspect, with more tears streaming down her face. "Maya I'm sorry."

(*)

Misato walked out of her office, her hands still clenched to the point where her joints cracked, completely ignoring her men giving her greetings, Misato walked off to clear her mind.

"Captain on deck!" A shout was needed for Misato to come back to her reality, seeing that he was in Wunder's mess hall, Misato noticed when all her crew members stood up and saluted her.

"Dismissed." Misato spoke as she removed her cap, running her hand through her hair, soon she noticed a table, on it were all her former protected, Asuka was sitting in front of Shinji, Mari was next to Rei and Sakura.

Feeling his stomach rumbling loudly as lunchtime approached, after the adrenaline abated, Misato felt the effects of the day, using her station to grab a serving and cut in line, Misato walked to the table where her protected were.

"So that's what Maya washed with soap." Mari spoke proudly as she buried her fork in the paste, she was struggling to know what Maya had washed off. "Now I'm sure."

"You said that in the other story." Asuka spoke as she was already tired of listening to Mari trying to figure out what Maya had washed with soap.

"Hey!" Mari spoke with false indignation, with a big smile on her face she spoke. "The Mari in that story was different, but not too different." Mari spoke pointing to herself.

"Still with it Mari? " Misato spoke as she stopped in front of the table, she could see the looks of surprise on everyone's faces, Misato used to eat in her office. "If you want to know so much what Maya washed with soap, why don't you ask her?"

Before any of the group could answer, Misato asked with a shy smile on her face. "May I sit with you?"

"Sure." Shinji spoke with a smile on his face, he was happy that things were getting back to the way they used to be, but his mind soon realized that Misato would be seen publicly by his side, this made him worried. "But won't that harm you?"

"What do you mean?" Misato spoke as she sat down next to Shinji, she could feel that many eyes would be on her now. Everyone at the table was looking between Misato and Shinji.

"Simple." Shinji spoke as he ate his food. "You know, it's me. I don't want you to get harm because of me."

Misato knew that Shinji didn't want her to get hurt because of him, with her eyes locked on some bridge members talking to random people, Ritsuko was right, now it was only a matter of time before all of Wunder knew what really happened that day. "Don't worry, I just want some normalcy."

Shinji noticed the smile on Misato's face, she was very happy to have adjusted things with her, soon he noticed Misato taking a portion to her mouth and judging by her eyes, she approved of the taste.

"Is it good?" Shinji asked as he smiled, he hadn't told them yet that he went to the kitchen.

"What happened to Jasem?" Misato asked as she ate more, soon the explosion of flavor overpowered her mouth. "Did he finally remove the backlog?"

Everyone laughed, except Rei who didn't understand the metaphor, but it was Asuka who spoke first. "Don't you know, Baka here." Asuka stopped as she pointed her fork at Shinji. "He decided to enjoy his depression cooking."

Soon Misato's eyes returned to Shinji who blushed at Asuka's comment. "It's very nice to eat food prepared by you again ... I can see that you haven't lost your talent."

"Thank you." Shinji spoke embarrassed. "But Jasem is a good cook, he just lost the will ... He's a good person."

"He scares me." Mari spoke as she ate more of her food. "Even the princess has already said she is afraid of him, but she will never admit it."

"I'm not afraid of him four eyes!" Asuka growled at Mari who only laughed.

But before she could eat again, her eyes soon fell on Rei who was listening to everything Mari and Sakura were saying to her, remembering Ritsuko's words, now knowing Rei's origin completely.

- That's strange, so this is what Shinji's mother looked like? - Misato thought as she stared at every part of Rei's face in detail, Misato only looked away when she saw Rei staring back at her with her intense red eyes.

Everyone was talking, Misato was feeling at home again, something she had forgotten what it felt like for a long time, all that was missing was her beer to make it perfect and Pen-Pen of course, remembering her old aquatic friend hurt, the longing hit Misato hard.

Shinji noticed this and immediately asked worriedly. "Everything okay?"

Misato soon returned to her normal, responding by eating more of her food, she was doing her best to enjoy it as much as possible. "Great."

(*)

After enjoying the lunch prepared by Shinji, Misato took a full ride on Wunder to get everything on track in her head, it was evening by the time she finished.

Entering her room, she quickly took a long shower and all she wanted was to lie down on her bed and sleep, Misato closed her eyes and soon felt sleep taking her, she just wanted to be able to sleep peacefully tonight.

(*)

Misato opened her eyes again, but just as her mind focused, her eyes widened in shock, standing up abruptly, Misato soon realized that she was in her casual clothes, the same ones she wore in her apartment, but as she looked around, she was in her apartment.

Looking around, she was thinking of a way this was happening. "It must be a dream, a dream." But unlike dreams, Misato could see that it was too real for that.

"This is not a dream." A gentle, male voice spoke from the kitchen, immediately Misato on instinct tried to draw his gun, but where his holster should have been, there was only nothing.

"Calm down Colonel Katsuragi." Again this person spoke.

Misato followed the voice and soon realized that it was coming from the kitchen, picking up a vase, she quickly tried to wait for the person. "Who's there? Stop playing games coward! Come out!"

Leaving the kitchen, Misato's eyes widened as she saw a person she hadn't seen in a long time, his whereabouts had been lost for over fourteen years. "You!" Misato spoke in disgust as she recognized the angel in front of her.

"Yes." Kaworu spoke without caring about Misato's voice, he was not there for her, but for Shinji, his face kept his friendly smile and his posture was the same, he conveyed the calmness he represented.

But Misato realized that this was temporary, soon her calm posture dissolved and was replaced by a serious and worried posture, he wished could talk to Misato as soon as possible, Kaworu knew that Misato was a person who wanted Shinji's happiness, seriously speaking.

"Colonel Katsuragi, we have to talk ... It's about Shinji."

Hearing this, Misato softened, she knew that anything about Shinji was of interest to her, she could see the change in Kaworu's posture, she could see that this was not a good thing, she had never seen him like this before.

Swallowing dryly, Misato only nodded, but her strong posture remained, knowing that something had to do with Shinji had aroused her curiosity, so she decided to give the angel a chance, asking the Wunder commander style strongly.

"What about him?"

Author's Notes: Hello Calborghete folks here, how are you? Did you like it? I hope so. As always be sure to follow and save it to your favorites so you don't miss any future updates.

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