Chapter 25: Educating Xev

Dagobah

Xev awoke to the sound of bird calls and loud scrabbling on the roof. Snug in her bedding, she rolled over and groaned.

Yoda, Xev discovered, had a habit of throwing seeds—actual seeds—on the roof after dark. Every dawn the birds descended, making the loud ruckus she was hearing now. It made for an effective alarm clock.

"Hmm hmm hmm good morning," Yoda said as he shuffled past to the kitchen area.

If Xev's estimation of time was correct, she had now been living on Dagobah for around three months—the last two as Yoda's caretaker, and now as his companion. Apart from her home planet of B3K or the Lexx, this was already the longest she had ever stayed in any one place.

Four more months to go, she thought to herself. The time seemed to stretch to infinity, and it didn't bear thinking that it could be even longer if her ride was delayed.

Not that she was complaining. Not really. Apart from being attacked by clone mercenaries and missing her friends, she was actually enjoying her time on Dagobah.

After the pill "seed" planting incident, Xev stayed close at hand. The confines of Yoda's home meant she had to frequently step outside to stand up, stretch and exercise, but she rarely left sight of Yoda or his home for more than a few minutes at a time. She also did her best to keep Yoda's stock of nutrition pills hidden from view.

This had meant eating down their oversupply of rations. It did had the advantage of freeing up space inside Yoda's home, and some rations were even quite tasty—at the start. About halfway through a fourth or fifth rotation of the same set of meals, even Yoda began to notice.

"The same we eat, over and over," Xev recalled Yoda saying as he pushed away a half-eaten ration. "Always the same."

Xev had given a sigh. "I know, but it's all we've got at the moment."

"No. There is another way," said Yoda. He pointed out a window with his cane and gave Xev a hopeful look, ears perked up.

From the beginning, Xev had felt conflicted about having to care for Yoda as if he were an adult-aged child. She took Yoda's improved awareness as an excellent sign.

"Oh? What are our food options?" Xev replied. She asked this as a test of Yoda's memory. Did he mean Dagobah, or a diner on Coruscant?

"All around us, edible plants in the wild grow," Yoda had replied, with a slight hint of amusement. Looking back, Yoda had likely guessed the reason for her question. "Many years have I lived on Dagobah. Know this area well, I do."

Xev was relieved. "Yes, that's true. Something fresh instead of packaged would make a nice change."

As they returned to foraging that day, Yoda quickly declined as he tired, becoming confused about where they were and why they were out in the woods. But in the days that followed, Yoda improved rapidly.

Now, Xev reflected, as she gazed at Yoda making food preparations, there was only the occasional slip. She was uncertain if the cause was the last vestige of Yoda's illness, or if it was simple, ordinary absentmindedness anyone might have. If she couldn't tell the difference, she reasoned, then perhaps it didn't matter.

Over the last two months, their roles had shifted from mother-and-child to living as equals. Now she was ready to become student-to-master—if Yoda was willing. Time, Xev thought, to broach a subject she had been wanting to ask Yoda for some time now.

"Come, come. We eat now," said Yoda. He motioned Xev over.

With a final groan, Xev rolled out of her bedding into a cross-leg sitting position. Only a little scooting took her from her bedding to the kitchen area. Yoda handed her a bowl of steaming vegetables with a few scraps of meat.

They sat together in communal silence, sharing their meal. Steam rose from the pot of food on the cook-top. Unusual for Dagobah, slanted rays of early morning sunlight streamed through the east windows. Xev finished her bowl and politely waited until Yoda finished his.

"Master Yoda," she said. Xev paused as she collected their bowls and set them aside. She would do the washing up later.

"What can you tell me about this?"

Xev leaned over to her bedding and pulled out her hidden lightsaber.

"A toy that is not!" exclaimed Yoda. "From where did you get it?"

"I know—it's a lightsaber, not a toy," Xev replied. "Bail Organa gave it to me. He said Kai gave it to him. Kai, in turn, took it from one of the clones who attacked us."

"Changed many hands, this lightsaber has," Yoda said sadly as he looked down, lost in memory. His ears drooped. "No telling now, to whom it once belonged. A Jedi killed in the purge, no doubt."

Yoda looked back up at Xev. "In those days, each Jedi his own weapon made. Every weapon, an expression of the individual. Gone, those days are. Yours, it is now, but know how to wield it you must, or injure yourself you will."

"Will you teach me?" Xev said breathlessly.

"To wield a lightsaber, yes," replied Yoda. "In the ways of the Force? I think not. Too old to start now."

"Oh come on!" said Xev. "I watched you kill the pond creature the first day we arrived! It's clear to me that took both skill in sword fighting and the Force! You said from the start I'm strong with the Force! It seems to me if I'm to have a fighting chance of surviving in this universe, those skills go hand-in-hand. I need to learn both."

"She's right, you know," a disembodied male voice said. "The days of the Jedi Academy are long over."

"What the hell was that!" said Xev as she looked around. Only Yoda and herself were present inside Yoda's home.

Yoda, on the other hand, did not seem to be the least bit surprised. "No, no!" he said, shaking his head. "That mistake we made once before! Teach her I will not!"

A tiny flicker of light caught Xev's eye. She turned to look, and as she watched, a shimmering, translucent figure of man in robes appeared, seated cross-legged, as if a physically present person had just sat down with them to join their conversation.

"Is that a hologram?" Xev said to Yoda. "I thought we were avoiding all technology."

The robed figure turned his head and looked directly at Xev. He gave her a small smile and a nod of respect.

"Hello, Xev," he said quietly, gently. "We meet again. And no, I am not a hologram. I am here in the moment of the Force."

Xev frowned, confused and suspicious. "'We meet again?' I don't recall ever meeting you."

The figure smiled and tilted his head briefly. "In a manner of speaking," he said. "You had opened your mind to the Dark side of the Force and lost control. I came to your aid."

Xev's eyes opened wide as a flood of realization hit her.

"That was you?" she said in astonishment. "You're the once who shouted, 'Stop?'"

The figure nodded. "The shout was in your mind, but yes, that was me. I am, or was, Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master."

Qui-Gon looked at Yoda. "Master Yoda, it was you who prompted Xev. It was you who encouraged her. She opened herself fully to the Dark Side and visited the Dark Cave, and she did it without training or backup. She did well—as well as many a Padawan on their first try."

Yoda was shocked. "Remember that I do not," he said. He turned to Xev and bowed his head. "Apologies, Xev. A beginner's exercise the cave is not."

"Perhaps in time you will remember, Master Yoda," said Qui-Gon Jinn. "But now, the path is clear. You have already begun Xev's training... from a certain point of view. You are obliged to finish the basics, and as much training afterwards as time permits."

Yoda huffed and shook his head. "Fair, that is not! Not in my right mind, I was."

Qui-Gon Jinn smiled. "As a Padawan, I recall you telling me the galaxy isn't fair. These are troubled times my old friend, and the Jedi Order, along with its code, is no more."

"Never one for the rules you were," Yoda grumbled as he shook his head.

"My path was to follow the Force, not the Council."

Yoda was silent for a moment, thinking it over. "Time we do not have, for full training." he finally said.

"Even some training is better than none," said Qui-Gon Jinn. "I'm sure you'll do your best."

Qui-Gon Jinn began to slowly fade away.

Xev waved at the figure. "Wait!" she called out.

Qui-Gon Jinn brightened again and looked at Xev expectantly.

"How do we—how do I contact you?" Xev asked.

"I am a part of the Force. I am always with you."

Qui-Gon Jinn faded away.

"That's it? No contact information?"

Yoda looked amused at the idea. "Not a communications network, the Force is."

Xev frowned at Yoda. "Really?" she said, and pointed to where Qui-Gon Jinn had been.

"Isn't that exactly what happened just now?"

Yoda shook his head. "What happens when a rock into a pond you throw?"

"It sinks," Xev said flatly.

Yoda nodded encouragement. "And on the surface, happens what?"

Xev's face brightened. "Oh! It causes ripples."

"Yes. Ripples are waves. Waves may communications carry. More than just waves, a pond is. Life, it contains. So too, more than waves the Force is. With training, many things the Force allows us to do. The leap I made, when first we met. Not a public call station, the Force is, though with great skill and discipline it can contact allow."

"Okay, I think I get it."

"Not yet, but you will." said Yoda. He waved.

"Come, come. We start now. Outside we go. Your lightsaber bring with you."

Together, they crawled out of Yoda's house. Yoda led the way to a small clearing. He stopped and turned to Xev.

"Rocks to me bring—pebbles I can throw."

A few minutes later, Xev dumped a double handful of pebbles at Yoda's feet.

"Know your lightsaber. While turned off it is, your lightsaber swing."

Xev did as she was told. It felt no different than shaking a short weighted stick.

"Now, your lightsaber—turn it on. What do you feel?"

The lightsaber hummed as a green plasma beam extended. "There's just the hint of vibration."

"Now swing—same motions as before. What do you notice?"

"Huh! That's interesting," Xev said as the hum changed in pitch. "I assumed it would feel the same. There's a slight but noticeable resistance each time."

"By design, you see," said Yoda. "Tactile feedback, it is. Always a Jedi should know by feel alone, if on or off their lightsaber is. For now, practice swings continue. Become accustomed to it, but very careful you should be. Over time, a part of you it will become. Return soon I shall."

Yoda left in the direction to his house, leaving Xev standing alone in the clearing.

The woods around her seemed to drop into the background as she focused on the lightsaber. She stood stiffly and experimentally swung her lightsaber with small, timid strokes, listening to the sound of the plasma beam as it changed pitch. She practiced first with one hand, then the other, and finally both. As she gained confidence, she began to move, to step into longer, faster swings, fighting an imagined enemy. Finally, she twirled and lunged with a wild, wide swing, and felt something different—a brief, stronger resistance. Almost as quickly as she felt it, the added sensation was gone.

As she stopped to see what happened, a medium sized tree fell with loud cracks and a crash.

"Oops!" Xev said softly as she once again took in her surroundings.

Yoda stood at the edge of the clearing, watching her performance. He did not look happy.

Xev sighed. "Of course he would be here to see that," she said to herself.

Yoda clicked his tongue. "Tsk, tsk! Always in control you must be," he said. "Know where your blade is, or next time, your leg you may lose."

"Yes, Master," Xev said, giving a quick bow to cover her embarrassment.

"To know how to move your blade, wielding is. To know where to move your blade, the Force will guide you. Your lightsaber—turn it off. Time to catch rocks."

Yoda made an easy toss. The next two rocks were only slightly faster and farther away. Xev caught all of them without effort.

"Difficult, was it?" said Yoda.

"No, those were easy."

Yoda smiled. "Practiced hand/eye coordination. Did not have to think. When as practiced with the Force you are, as effortless it will be. Close your eyes. Try again, we will."

The first rock bounced off the center of her chest. So did the next two. They were gentle tosses. They didn't hurt at all.

"Difficult, was it?" Yoda repeated with a hint of amusement.

"Well duh!" Xev huffed as she snapped open her eyes. "I couldn't see to catch them"

"Too reliant on vision, you are. Other senses you have, as well as the Force. Again, your eyes close. Move, I will. When stop I do, point to me, only then your eyes open."

Xev closed her eyes and listened. She heard a soft rustle moving through the grass. The sound stopped. She considered where to point and raised her arm. She opened her eyes.

She was pointing in the general direction of Yoda's new location, but was off to the left.

Yoda smiled. "Close, you are. If a weapon you had, a miss it would be. Try again we will. Close your eyes. About me you should think. In your mind, an image build. When have it you do, point."

This time, Yoda didn't make things easy. From the crashing sounds, Xev guessed he was making the same kind of jumps as on that first day, and they seemed to come from all around her. Finally, it stopped.

Xev stood quietly. She could feel a faint breeze. She heard the animal calls she usually tuned out. Yoda wasn't giving away his position by sound. She imagined Yoda standing in front of her. That was it! He was back to his original position. Sneaky! She raised her arm and pointed.

A small rock gently bounced off her back.

"How?" Xev sputtered as she spun around. "I was sure you were right in front of me!"

"A difference there is," said Yoda. "Between imagination and the Force. Closed yourself off from the Force you have, since the Dark Cave. To be a Jedi, open to the Force you must be, while the call of the Dark side resisting.

Xev brightened. "Oh, I see. It's like sex. There's good sex and bad sex. I should always be open to great sex, while never allowing rape."

Yoda shook his head. "Never an analogy I would make, but if helps you it does, yes."

Xev shrugged. "Okay. What's next?"

Yoda pointed to the fallen tree. "A straight branch you will choose. To the length of your activated lightsaber you must cut. This you will for wielding practice use. The rest you will for firewood cut. To cut, your lightsaber use. Slow, careful cuts. Only the tree cut. Avoid other things—the ground, other trees, anywhere the tree touches. In this small way, some control you will learn."

With that, Yoda walked off once again.

Xev looked at the tree, sighed, and got to work. She began by trimming branches, a simple job at first, but as she cut supporting branches, the tree shifted and the trunk fully crashed onto the ground. It was easier to access, but trickier to cut without cutting little trenches in the ground. By the time she was finished, Yoda was back.

"Chosen a practice stick, have you?" said Yoda.

Xev selected a branch, picked it up and trimmed it. "This should do."

"Good," said Yoda. "Your lightsaber, now give to me. For the next few days, need it you will not."

Yoda held up a blindfold. "As well you need this. Too easy to peek it is, even by accident."

Xev tied on the blindfold and adjusted it. "What now?" she said.

"Turn in place," Yoda said, giving Xev light taps with his cane. "Faster, faster…. Yes, good that is. Now stop, and in the other direction go. Faster, faster."

After a few more times of spinning back and forth in place, Xev began to stumble as she became increasingly dizzy.

Yoda finally called a halt. "Sit." he said simply.

"Ugh." Xev put out her hands to steady herself as she sat. Her head was spinning, and her stomach felt a bit queasy.

"Rest now, until equilibrium it returns," said Yoda reassuringly with a pat on her shoulder.

As her vertigo cleared up, Xev said, "I'm feeling better now."

"Back straight, legs crossed, wrists on your knees at rest. A deep breath take, hold, and release. Again."

Yoda nodded, a gesture Xev couldn't see.

"Good. Good. Now the Force consider. A Light and Dark Side it has, as you know. As you did before, a bit at a time, open yourself. Better prepared now, you are. Weaker its influence, the Dark Side will have. When ready you are, return to the house you will, without removing your blindfold."

That last instruction startled Xev.

"Wait, what?" she said, but Yoda was already moving away.

Xev had no idea which way she was facing, and as she listened, she could tell Yoda was circling around her, but the sound was becoming fainter. Oh, she realized; Yoda was spiraling away to prevent her from deducing a direction of travel.

Xev slowly shook her head in amusement. A small smile crossed her face.

"Oh you are a sneaky one, Master!"

She shook her head and took in another deep breath. She imagined her mental shield as a door with multiple locks. She began to remove locks, lock disappearing one at a time, until only one lock remained. Next, she imagined a boulder. The door could open only so far before being blocked.

Xev opened her imagined door a crack, and waited. Instead of something inky black pouring through, as she half expected, she saw light on the other side. She "moved" the boulder back, allowing the door to open wider. She moved the boulder back again, more and more, until finally she banished the boulder altogether. Now she stood before the fully opened door.

Through the door, images began to build. Outlined trees made of light. Birds of light in flight around her, or sitting on tree branches of light, because now the door was gone. Instead, she was floating. Below, she saw an outlined version of herself sitting in the clearing, each blade of grass a single line of light. There was something else too. A black silhouette creature lurking just beyond the clearing. The Dark Side. She recreated her boulder and "threw" it at the creature. It ran way.

Xev stood up, and as she did, she saw her imagine stand up simultaneously. As an experiment, she turned and slowly walked towards a tree, and watched as the image in her mind did the same. As she walked, she felt the brush of grass on her legs. In her image, legs of light parted grass blades of light. She slowed to a stop as her image approached a tree of light.

Xev could tell there was a difference in the physical world. Sound was slightly deadened in front of her, the breeze reduced. Even without the Force, she knew something was there. She reached out and felt the rough bark of a tree. The sensation was electric. She felt a thrill of joy that made her laugh aloud.

She turned and "looked" around the clearing. To her left, she recognized the place where the path led back to the house.

Xev didn't entirely trust the vision in her head. She put both arms straight out in front of her, turned her left arm at a right angle, and gripped her right arm just above the elbow. Her arms, she reasoned, could act as a barrier if she ran into something not seen inside her head.

As she gingerly walked across the clearing towards the path's location, a path of light appeared, extending out past the clearing. There was little detail beyond the path itself. It resembled a wireframe pathway through empty gray space.

Xev reached the clearing edge and took a couple of steps onto the path. Through her feet, she could feel the change from grass to forest floor. Detail around her expanded, trees and plants filling in that had not been there before, improving her sense of direction. This gave her confidence she was headed the right way.

Xev followed the path, walking slowly and carefully. So far, her mental image matched up to reality. Up ahead, she sensed a small, broken, leafy branch hanging down about head height. It hadn't been there when they first came out this way.

Under her blindfold, Xev's closed eyes went through the motions of narrowing. She reached out and batted with the flat of her hand, where her imagine told her it would be. She was rewarded with the feel of smacking lightweight leaves. It was only enough to startle, not cause injury, had she run headlong into it.

Xev shook her head. "Another trick, Master?" she said to herself, grinning, as she ducked under.

She continued on and soon came to something odd—a glowing rounded shape with darker spots. Initially Xev couldn't make sense of it, until it suddenly clicked into place. It was Yoda's house. She was back!

Xev bent down and called into the low entrance. "Hello Master! Should I come in now, or is there more to do?"

Yoda came to the door, a magnificent glowing white figure with a brilliant aura radiating out. He nodded his approval.

"Done well, you have. Excellent time you have made. Given up, many have, on their first try. Brought with you the practice stick?"

"Oh," said Xev, and mentally kicked herself. She could have used her lightsaber practice stick to feel for obstacles instead of her arms! She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb.

"It's back in the clearing."

Yoda thumped his cane. "Go fetch now. Firewood too. You may your blindfold remove, or for practice keep it on."

Yoda turned and disappeared back inside his house.

Xev considered this option, and decided to keep her blindfold in place for now. She followed her head-path back to the clearing, this time with more confidence. When her image told her she had come to the low-hanging leaves, she stopped, then took one step forward. She felt the leaves brush on her face as she stepped through.

Perfect!

Xev reached up and snapped off the branch before continuing on. As she began to collect firewood in the clearing, she realized she couldn't carry all that much at a time, and both arms would be occupied. On her return trip, neither her hands nor her practice stick could be used to feel her way along if she lost her mental map. Well, that didn't matter; she could always take off the blindfold.

Xev made the return trip without incident. It left her feeling very proud, but she didn't want to push her luck. She dumped her load of firewood and pulled off the blindfold. She blinked in the sudden brightness until her eyes adjusted.

"Master Yoda," Xev called as she crawled inside the house. She sat and held up the blindfold. "Where did this come from?"

"Make do with what we have, we must," replied Yoda as he stirred a pot on the cook-top. "From an old robe, it came."

"Hmm. Mind if I tear up the rest of it? I have an idea."

Yoda gave his spoon a tap, set it down and went off in search. He came back a couple of minutes later holding his disused robe.

Xev took the robe, roughly measured with her hand, and tore it into strips. She knotted the strips end-to-end to make one long piece, and finally knotted the far ends together to make a loop of fabric. She held it up for Yoda.

"See? Now I have a sling! I can put this on my shoulder and use it to carry more firewood with each trip."

"Useful, that is," Yoda said, nodding his approval. "Now, we eat. For the remainder of today, begin with fighting stances I will show you. Many styles developed over the centuries, there have been. Much to learn, you have, and little time."

That evening, Xev crawled into her bedding, exhausted but happy. This morning, the remaining four months seemed impossibly far away. Now, the end loomed far too close. As she fell asleep, she hoped her pickup would be delayed. She could use the extra time.