Rated M for mentions of Yuri, adult themes and violence.
When the Headhunters arrive at the secret Zaunite research facility they only discover the bruised bodies of the defeated security guards splayed upon the wet floor, shuddering groans of pain occasionally escaping from the split lips of the collapsed soldiers.
Caitlyn, the Headhunters' unofficial leader mutedly motions for the rest of the mercenaries to investigate. The party splits up as the mercenaries search for clues to uncover the identity of the foolish daredevils that had the guts to attack the high-profile research facility.
The spinning red lights and the normally blaring sirens of the secret laboratories' alarm system are eerily silent as the small party of hired guns makes its way deeper into the underground complex. There are more defeated security guards here, attempting to stand up on shaky feet and limping peculiarly as they tiredly wobble towards the exit. The armed personnel's faces speak of great discomfort, a hint of embarrassment and immense exhaustion.
Rengar momentary pauses to kneel by a puddle of transparent fluid on the floor that catches the Vastayan's attention. When the mighty Headhunter takes a quick sniff of the unknown substance, the furry tracker's nose scrunches up in distaste.
"You are finally here!" The scowling silhouette of a bald man in a long white lab coat suddenly emerges from the trashed hallways, storming towards the hunters with a furious sneer on his face. Singed rudely shoves a limping woman out of his way, before hastily approaching the band of frowning mercenaries.
"What happened here?" Caitlyn decides to voice the question in every Headhunter's mind. The sharpshooter's stormy lilac eyes wander inquisitively across the abundance of scattered glass shards on the floor and the grey metal walls that bare signs of brutal five-fingered slash marks.
"What do you think happened, hunter?! A project escaped, that much should be obvious even to an uncouth individual such as you!" The vile researcher hisses, clearly aggravated as Singed gestures widely at the sorry state of the damaged corridor. Caitlyn simply raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, prompting the bald cretin to continue and reveal who attacked the Zaunite laboratories.
Being privy to the knowledge that with every spare second wasted there subject 2D was putting more and more distance between herself and the research labs, Singed has no other choice but to explain the situation to the brunette sharpshooter.
"A Yuri Knight managed to escape from the lower levels due to a malfunctioning chip in its collar." The displeased scientist admits after a second. "I want it found immediately and brought back here for purging!" Singed grits between clenched teeth and Caitlyn nods her head affirmatively as the Headhunters swiftly depart from the compromised compound.
0000
"Nidalee, do you have eyes on subject 2D?"
Narrowed eyes inspect the dark forest.
"Not yet." Is the Bestial Huntress' laconic reply.
Nidalee's gaze carefully scans the dense vegetation for any sign of the runaway Yuri as the hardened mercenary moves stealthily between black tree barks and feeble, thorny bushes.
The forest around Nidalee is strangely quiet, the dexterous huntress notes. No owls hoot in the night perched on tall tree branches, or insects chirp in the dark and things crawl behind foliages. Wild animals are quite rare so close to Zaun, that is certainly true. Nidalee of course knows that, the logical explanation for the unnerving silence that surrounds the experienced tracker somewhat alleviates some of the mercenary's tension as the female Headhunter searches for recent footprints and signs of stomped grass among the hunched trees.
"Roger that, keep your eyes open for the Yuri." The coms go quiet and Nidalee rolls her eyes exasperatedly as her fingers leave the receive button of her headgear. Not even a moment later a humanoid projectile suddenly takes a surprising swipe at the Headhunter's exposed back.
"Fuck!" Nidalee hisses in pain as she combat rolls away from the deadly talons that chip her green armor and deploys her spear in one fluid motion. The dark silhouette of her ruthless attacker sinks back into the shadows at the exact same moment that Nidalee whips her body around with narrowed eyes and her javelin in hand.
Tension floods the atmosphere like oxygen fills the panting chest of the crouched huntress. Nidalee quickly inspect the blurry dark shapes of the still tree barks that effectively obscure the tracker's field of vision. The protruding black shapes of the bushes stand before the Headhunter ominously. The looming shadows that shroud the quiet forest in onyx paint stare back at her with pure malice.
*Fwoosh* A dark shape abruptly darts behind the tense mercenary. At a moment's notice Nidalee's spear is buried half-way into the rustling foliages of the thick bush. A pained scream emanates from the shadowy barks and the thick vegetation all around her. Instantly, Nidalee grabs a small metal cylinder from her belt and presses a concealed button, swiftly deploying her secondary spear. Simultaneously, the Headhunter reaches for the miniature blinking button in her dead intercom.
"Caitlyn, I think I have found the runaway test subject."
Nidalee's visage visibly pales when the only response that the huntress receives is the telltale static of bad reception.
"Caitlyn, do you copy? I am engaged in combat with subject 2D! I need backup!"
The momentary lapse in the mercenary's concentration prevents the distressed huntress from sensing the incoming blow that impacts her left side until it is already too late. The sophisticated Hex-tech spear unwittingly slips from the mercenary's grip as a powerful blow sends the unprepared huntress flying into a tree at least four meters away from Nid's prior position.
"Argh!" Nidalee groans as she searches for the hazy shape of her trusty weapon and spots it lying on the forest's floor, just a few meters away from her reach. The Headhunter grits her teeth as she starts crawling towards the Hex-tech spear.
"Caitlyn! Do you read?! I need help! I need backup ASAP!"
The cruel buzzing of static wells from the Bestial Huntress' offline earpiece. Nidalee curses under her breath as she drags her bruised body across the grass. She hastily extends a hand to get a hold of her spear. Surprisingly enough -even for the pessimistic Nidalee- no follow-up attack comes from the shadows and the prone mercenary unexpectedly succeeds in her daring endeavor. The tracker's gloved digits hastily wrap around the cool metal shaft of the collapsible javelin. Yet, the hunter's weapon simply refuses to budge from the ground! The bare light purple foot that's stomping on the Hex-tech weapon's shaft might be the cause of that undesirable outcome, Nidalee inwardly muses.
The startled Headhunter's wide orbs stare bewilderedly at the clear droplets of saliva that drip on the ground in front of her. The sticky substance keeps falling down quietly from somewhere above. And when the defeated mercenary finally gathers the courage to force her panicked gaze to climb upwards, Nidalee discovers something truly alarming and horrifying. For it is not the upper mouth of the naked female dragon-hybrid that is drooling as one would expect, but the southern pair of lips that is located significantly lower on the runaway experiment's body. The Half-Dragon Yuri Knight is salivating at the sight of the terrified mercenary splayed on the soft grass in front of her.
Mere seconds later, Shyvana descends upon her wide-eyed quarry with frightening speed and primal lust, planting a rough kiss against the lips of the stunned tracker. A terrifying roar rises high above the dark treetops, scaring away the mutated birds that perch upon the branches of the polluted trees. The rest of the Headhunters, scattered across the woods as they are, grip their weapons tighter and take defensive positions when they hear the challenging sound…
Caitlyn abruptly freezes with her gaze fixed at the dark night sky. The mercenary leader's stern visage adopting a light dusting of faint rouge. Slowly, ever so slowly and with hues of warm pink still decorating Caitlyn's fair complexion, the Headhunter Queen tentatively grabs the small heart-shaped locket that hangs around her neck from a leather strap and opens it.
"Poor Nidalee." The former Sheriff of Piltover mutters sympathetically with a small wince when another triumphant roar joins the first one in the night sky.
The older Headhunter's fingers tenderly caress the smiling picture of her pink-haired wife inside the locket.
'It is certainly true,' Caitlyn muses quietly to herself while Nidalee's frantic moans and breathless screams continue emanating from the charcoal sea of pointy treetops, 'No female Headhunter will ever forget their fist Yuri-capturing assignment. This job literally consumes us.'
"PULL YOUR DAMN TONGUE OUT OF THERE YOU DUMB BEAST!"
The End
Writer's Note: That was a fun little writing experiment. I hid all kinds of puns and innuendos in the descriptions that lead to the climatic climax of the story (heh) that would only make sense when the true colors of the plot would be revealed. Damp floors, shaky feet, wobbling, bruises, exhaustion, Singed pushing away one of the female guards that Shyvana 'defeated', split lips... The Alien-like scene with the dripping drool. A false path of breadcrumbs that was designed to mislead the reader. Tell me if you spotted the wordplay in your first read.