Summary: After finding her way out of Zaun and bribing her way into Piltover Vi finds a tedious job in Piltover's market district.
It was rush hour at Piltover. Both couples and preoccupied passersby were strolling about, creating a shifting current of moving bodies and bobbing heads. Automatons, scientists and bedazzled groups of tourists walking purposefully amongst the busy shops of the buzzing market district. Towering buildings made of metal, concrete and glass casting their long shadows onto the smaller shops where the passersby wandered by.
Piltover was a peculiar city, a manmade yard of cultivated ingenuity even. Yet despite its technological miracles and the plethora of prestigious institutes that were woven amidst the streets of the illustrious city-state, the people of Piltover had the same basic needs as any other city and established human settlement in History.
Piltover's lifeblood, her army of tinkerers, her legion of scholars, her numerous craftsmen and chem-distillers, her alchemists and artificers and even the ruffians that sold illegal drugs in dimly lit alleyways, were in need of proper sustenance. Even Heimerdinger for all the Revered Inventor's intellectual pursuits and unprecedented intelligence couldn't just work on groundbreaking ideas and new concepts alone.
Everybody in the City of Progress needed sustenance, be it hextech crystals, or fuel, or machine oil or a fatty burger cooked by a particular yellow steam golem.
Blitzcrank's fine establishment could provide all of the above. He and another sentient automaton named Orianna manned the kitchen and the cash register of the fast food restaurant, respectively. Built near the center of the always crowded market district 'Grease and Oil' was becoming quite popular with both the permanent residents of the bustling city-state and the visitors that traveled there for business.
It wasn't long before the two sentient constructs and proud owners of Grease and Oil had decided to launch an advertising campaign and hire somebody to attract customers from the street.
That's how Vi, an unemployed bruiser from the rougher parts of Zaun had found herself waving at limply and handing out leaflets to strangers while wearing a foam costume shaped in the likeness of the Great Steam Golem.
'I hate my life' thought the unenthusiastic pink-haired mascot as she made some mute beckoning motions towards a group of laughing teenagers that just so happened to be walking near Grease & Oil. Vi did her best to restrain herself and somehow managed to refrain from punching the pampered uptown brats when said teenagers proceeded to merely ignore the open door of the restaurant… and walked by the pinkette while beeping at her like robots.
"Mommy, mommy, look! It ish Blitzcrant the Gweat Steam Golem!" Gushed a blonde-haired girl as she dragged her grimacing mom near Vi. The tall pinkette in the robot costume and the stern office worker share an awkward look over the child's head. After a short moment of quiet contemplation Vi spreads her arms widely in a 'Tada!' Fashion. Almost instantly the little girl cheers and giggles as she hugs the Zaunite mascot's leg.
"Blishcrank!" The little girl giggles cutely. Vi slowly pats the kid on the head awkwardly under the scrutinizing glare of the child's unimpressed mother. Since speaking would break character, and would more importantly reveal that she isn't in fact Blitzcrank, the tall pinkette starts shrugging and holding her belly as if she is chuckling soundlessly.
"Is your sound emeter bwoken Mister Crank? Perhaps I can fix it!" Wonders out loud the little girl as she attempts to climb onto Vi and take a look inside the fake robot's mouth that serves as the helmet's visor. Fortunately for the rapidly sweating mascot of Grease and Oil, the child's mother finally decides to intervene, lifting the little girl in her arms before the young girl has the chance to unwittingly expose Vi.
"Say goodbye to Mister Blitzcrank, honey. We are leaving." The stern office worker prompts her daughter and the little girl pouts before grudgingly waving her hand towards Vi.
"Bye, bye Mistar Blishcrank!" Quips the young child and the Great Foam Golem responds with a rigid salute and another mute, exaggerated fit of laughter. Vi waits until the two of them disappear from her sight, before she allows herself to sigh in relief and turn around to greet other potential customers.
Only for the Zaunite bruiser to abruptly freeze in her tracks when she suddenly comes face to helmet with none other than the workaholic Sheriff of Piltover who's currently regarding her present get-up with an odd look of mild interest. Being on Piltover's wanted list for petty crimes such as stealing food from the market stands, Vi's first instinct is to run. The brash pinkette unexpectedly succeeds in reining in her panic, however, and steels her resolve, trying to act normal. Feigning nonchalance at Caitlyn's proximity, Vi turns fully towards the brunette Sheriff, bowing her head in a show of respect in order to hide her wide eyes, the only part of the panicked Zaunite's features visible from within the cartoonish visor of the pale-gold helmet.
As the bruiser bows her head curtly, Vi's bulging aquamarine orbs catch the glint of the modified rifle slung on Caitlyn's shoulder. The orphan street rat inwardly thanks her lucky stars for not running away upon first making eye contact with the prim and proper policewoman.
"There is no need for bows and pleasantries, random law-abiding citizen," Caitlyn greets Vi while producing a wanted poster with a very familiar face printed on it. "I merely need to inquire of you the following question: have you perhaps seen this woman?"
The foam golem takes its time examining the portrait of the rather fetching -in Vi's opinion anyways- Zaunite street punk before shaking its head left and right.
"I see," The brunette Sheriff nods as she folds the wanted poster and puts it back in the pocket of her dress. "You should remain vigilant," Caitlyn continues. "This criminal has been frequently sighted around the market district. Cogs know what troublesome crimes she could be up to."
Sweating profusely inside her suffocating robot suit, Vi nods her head vigorously while the brunette policewoman scans the crowd for any signs of the disguised bruiser. The two of them stand side by side for a few minutes with Caitlyn examining the passersby suspiciously and the pinkette mascot shifting nervously next to the workaholic brunette.
"It seems like the reports of the criminal's sightings were absurdly exaggerated." Caitlyn hums thoughtfully when she doesn't spot the wanted criminal amidst the crowds. The cunning detective's eyes minutely sliding towards the fake android that's currently performing some kind of celebratory dance next to her. The foam robot freezes when the brunette cop turns her head its way.
"Stop doing that next to me while I am trying to think." The Piltovian woman scowls at the nervous foam automaton. "I am not one of the children that visit your establishment to be entertained by such foolish displays. There is a time for playing make-believe and a time for seriousness. Learn to read the mood."
Caitlyn sighs in exasperation when the fake golem's only response is an uncertain shrug of the shoulders.
"Anyways. Remember to abide by the Law. Be polite to those around you and keep the city safe and clean. Be sure to separate recyclable rubbish from non-recyclable waste and put them in the appropriate bins each morning."
'Blitzcrank' bobs his head zealously, although the false android's mannerisms and the robot's doubtful body language obviously hint at the pink-haired mascot's complete lack of comprehension behind the spongy yellow visor. A group of utterly oblivious kids continue playing with a miniature hovering disc nearby, laughing and yelling while hurling the mechanical toy at one another.
Caitlyn just sighs when the foamy robot doesn't reply verbally. The hulking children entertainer turned unhelpful police informant was really dedicated to their trade it seemed. With her job as an authoritative figure that's upholding justice and baking cupcakes done for the time being, the brunette policewoman strolls away from the visibly shaken android.
Vi exhales heavily, one foamy arm resting against her blocky breastplate. The Zaunite bruiser's massaging her thundering heart while watching Caitlyn walk away -probably intending to reprimand the laughing youngsters nearby for causing a commotion or irritating the tourists.
The daring Sheriff of Piltover is only a few paces away from the Great Steam Golem's popular restaurant when the sound of a weird popping noise and a sudden draft of wind overhead draw the posh woman's attention. The detective's narrowed eyes slowly wander back to the ridiculous foam golem from before.
The mascot's eyes are open wide in sheer terror, gazing at her through the small gap in the suit's spongy helmet. Vi remains motionless, her face pale. The Zaunite bruiser's expression appearing lost, utterly confused, definitely disbelieving. Both pairs of eyes follow the thick foam cord connecting the disguised pinkette's yellow gauntlet to the missing hand of the borrowed suit. The missing hand that's currently holding the Sheriff's signature top hat in its grasp and is lazily rolling back into the previously concealed socket of the fake golem's forearm. When the foamy appendage attaches itself to the costume's wrist once more, Blitzcrank's robotic laughter emanates from a pair of concealed speakers at the back of the mascot suit. Vi swallows her spit audibly, the pinkette's blood turning into icy water. Wide blue orbs meeting hard chips of angry brown.
The Sheriff's already sharp and unfriendly gaze abruptly turns murderous.
"Wait wait, wait! Time-out! I didn't mean to do that! It was an accident, I swear!"
Vi's appeasing words and even more frantic gestures go completely ignored by the vexed brunette sniper as Caitlyn unslings her sniper rifle in a quick motion and snaps the rifle's barrel at the retreating mascot, cautiously. Blitzcrank's prerecorded laughter dying out with a crackle of static.
"Remove your mask." Caitlyn orders Vi coldly. The pink-haired punk raises her hands in the air, Vi's wide blue eyes scanning the forming circle of startled pedestrians for a possible escape route. The ceaseless current of wandering tourists and actual residents of the City of Progress creating an anxious pocket of murmuring civilians around the Zaunite mascot and the city's favorite Law enforcer. The group of playing children near the unlikely duo also halting in their energetic activities when they spot the cause of the sudden disturbance.
"Remove the mask! Kneel on the ground!" Caitlyn repeats heatedly as she slides the rifle's safety off, the policewoman's grip on her handle tightening considerably when the rowdy pinkette doesn't comply at once with her shouted commands. With the dark pit of the modified barrel of the best sharpshooter in Valoran staring down her face, Vi slowly grips the foam helmet of her suit intending to remove it.
Caitlyn tenses as the robot's head starts rising ever so slowly, the faintest sign of pink bangs peeking from between the spongy material. A little hand suddenly shoots up in the air.
"She is bullying Blitzcrank!" One of the nearby kids that are observing the pinkette's imminent arrest screams while pointing an accusing finger at Caitlyn. The brunette detective blinks owlishly, young children of Zaunite and Piltovian descent breaking out of the crowd to stand in front of the masquerading criminal.
"Don't bully Misteh Blishcwank!" A little boy less than seven years of age with two missing front teeth scolds Caitlyn while tugging at the hem of her purple dress.
"Pway nice Miss Shewiff!" Agrees the pouting daughter of a visiting Demacian diplomat while glaring daggers at the stunned policewoman from in-between the protective wall of her panting bodyguards. The armed, rugged men heaving and groaning from the strain of what must be at least a dozen of heavy boxes, all of them barring the insignias of famous Piltovian tailors and successful toymakers. "Stop being a meanie or I am going to tell my daddy about it!"
Vi slams the helmet back on her head at a moment's notice.
"This is isn't Blitzcrank!" Yells Caitlyn over the protests of the gathered children. "She is Vi, a dangerous wanted criminal. She is just wearing a robot suit, don't be fooled by her tricks!"
The flashing of cameras erupt from amidst the crowd, beaming journalists and despicable news reporters alike smelling tomorrow's headlines like sharks sniffing blood in the water.
"Did the Sheriff just call the children fools!?" Asks a chubby bespectacled journalist while scribbling down notes on his notepad, furiously.
"Yes, she did!" Answers a newsman, hysterically. The balding gentleman standing on the tips of his toes while using the camera of his hex-phone to snap a few 'commemorative' photographs.
"My Danny isn't a fool, you big snob!" Snarls a concerned mother while smothering her son in her chest. "Just because he was homeschooled and didn't sturdy at a big Hextech University like you rich folk, doesn't mean that he's stupid, you cow! Stop attacking him for being different!"
"I am not attacking anyone." Caitlyn growls between her teeth in frustration, simultaneously trying to appease the crowd and keep the retreating criminal in her sight. "That woman is a wanted criminal and I am trying to apprehend her. Look closely children, she is not the real Blitzcrank. It is just a suit."
Cautiously, some of the children turn towards the stealthily retreating pinkette, looking at her expectantly. Vi freezes when the crowd's attention is once again directed at her. A sea of hopeful, naïve eyes parts before her ready to swallow her. Soul-crushing guilt floods her system.
"Is that true Mister Blitz?" Sniffles a six year old girl while staring at Vi uncertainly, clutching a teddy bear in her hands. The girl's wet orbs appearing huge and swimming with unshed tears "Are you not Mister Blitzcrank…?"
"Don't let the mean Sheriff talk to you this way!" A tanned, Zaunite street rat nudges the panicking pinkette encouragingly. "Prove to her that you are the real Blitz, Boss!" Urges the grinning kid "Make the uptown smarty-pants eat her own words, Blitzcrank!"
"Yeah, 'Blitzcrank'," Caitlyn's eyes are akin to burning lakes as they glare at Vi, a vicious smile tugging at the corners of the markswoman's lips."Prove to me that you are the real deal. Show me the error of my ways and make me eat my words." Vi's doesn't miss the unnerving way the Sheriff keeps taping her finger on the rifle's trigger.
With a shaky arm and a silent prayer to every deity in Valoran Vi forms a trembling fist with her arm and slams it on the suit's foamy breastplate.
*Pop* the suit's foamy appendage, hurls in the air punching an unfortunate individual that is crossing the street. The man collapses on the ground unconscious with a resounding thudding sound. The crowd goes deathly quiet. Vi's heart misses a beat.
The familiar recording of the laughing golem starts playing in the background as an aghast and resigned Vi locks eyes with a visibly furious Caitlyn. The two stare at each other in the resounding silence. And then! Without a warning the children burst into a fit of loud applause, raising their small arms in the air.
"It IS Blitzcrank!" They cheer as they cling to the tall foam golem. The Zaunite boy from before smiling smugly at the exasperated Sheriff whose left eye starts twitching angrily.
"She has proved nothing! That was a cheap parlor trick!" Shouts Caitlyn over the loud cheering, but the children, satisfied by the mascot's display, simply choose to ignore the policewoman's protests. "Come on, this isn't impressive at all. We live in Piltover for Cogs' sake! Hextech, automatons, flying cars, that detachable hand is just a gimmick!"
"Then you do it!" Challenges another Zaunite brat near the brunette whilst crossing its arms in front of its chest, and the livid female police officer groans when the adults and journalists start laughing. Then the Sheriff detects something alarming.
One of the grinning kids is currently in the processes of returning Vi her until then forgotten top hat after retrieving it from the ground near the fake golem.
"Don't you dare!" Hisses Caitlyn.
The pinkette smiles mischievously at the enraged brunette before propping the hat on her head on top of her spongy helmet. With the chuckling parents, booing children and yelling journalists rushing to swarm the peeved law enforcer, Vi decides to make her daring escape. Blitzcrank's robotic laugher accompanying her hurried footsteps.