Short humorous piece. Rated T for some slight profanity. Disclaimer: I personally like the strange accentuation of words in some languages by foreign speakers, don't take this chapter too seriously. Imagine what Harry Potter stories would be like without Fleur Delacour's accent gracing our inferior existences. The Death Eaters would have won before the war had even began.
The members of the religious sect were already awake, training under the morning sun as Diana made her way through the deserted hallways of the Inner Sanctum. The silver-haired woman had a frown on her face and was holding a clipboard in her hand. Diana was wearing high heels, reading glasses and a white pencil skirt under her bronze breastplate with the Solari symbol etched on it. The pale woman preferred stylish light fabrics in her wardrobe compared to the other sun worshippers that favored rigid suits of armor, metal panties and chronic back pain in their own.
"Hello, I am the Radiant Dawn's secretary," Mouthed Diana to her Bluetooth earpiece as she navigated the wide corridors that led to her boss's room, "Something came up, I am afraid, the dinner with your tribe will have to be rescheduled for next weekend. Yes, yes, bloody raids and happy pillaging to you too." Diana answered absentmindedly while terminating the call. The statues of mighty warriors that lined the hallway glared at her silently as she called another number.
"Stop the hand-copying, you cowardly crone," Demanded the strict secretary, her face livid with fury, "You write another story in your trashy leaflet about Solari oppressing the people of Mount Targon and we will be suing you for heresy. We will book you up for a nice climbing trial buddy. Don't you want to live your last miserable years in peace as opposed to dying all alone, freezing to death in the mountains?" Diana waited for a moment and then smiled victoriously, "I am glad we have reached an understanding." She cooed sweetly.
The silver-haired acolyte glanced at her yellow wristwatch and sighed. Diana's fingers formed another familiar number.
"Hello?" Answered a masculine, grumpy voice, loud noises of hammering, yelling and the sound of rocks shattering could be heard in the background.
"Is this Ornn's workshop?" Inquired the smartly dressed Solari, sending a polite smile at another acolyte that was sprinting down the hallway, rushing towards the training grounds no doubt. The freckled teenager was wearing a full set of armor and sport shoes instead of the standard armored footwear that the Shield Maidens used.
"That would be correct." Grumbled the craftsman after expelling a long sight.
"Great listen, I am calling you about the marble Radiant Dawn action figurines. My superiors decided that it would be better if Leona was stepping on the throat of an Ionian monk as opposed to that of a Void monstrosity. We wouldn't want to be accused of targeting social outcasts and neglected minorities, now would we?"
"Stupid mortals." The voice on the other end of the line grunted before the line went dead. Diana grimaced, but continued her long trek to Leona's chambers. On her way there the secretary encountered a dozen of new initiates dressed in yellow sun hoodies jogging down the corridor. Diana stared at them fondly, remembering her own time as a naive little girl exploring the world, before she had failed the damn Astronomy exam and had been stuck babysitting a lazy Aspect.
Nearing the intricate double doors that led to the Dawn's room Diana could already hear that Leona was awake and had company, judging by the moans that reached her ears. The two guards that stood in front of the chamber's entrance had dreamy expressions on their faces and smudges of lipstick on their cheeks. The men shuffled their feet awkwardly when they noticed her.
"Praise the sun." Diana greeted them, her voice clipped.
"Praise the sun." The Solari guards parroted nervously, stepping aside so the secretary could enter the chamber. Leona's room was mostly the same as Diana remembered it, untidy and cramped, full of dirty clothes, with vases of sunflowers occupying every flat surface of the room and propaganda posters covering every inch of the walls.
Diana examined the poster closest to her. On it, Leona was staring back at her, her finger pointed at the secretary, her expression serious despite the golden top hat that the Aspect wore proudly. 'The Sun wants YOU' read the text under her. Diana snorted.
The next poster had the Radiant Dawn wearing a blue work uniform and flexing her arm, a speech bubble emerging from her mouth. 'We can Dawn it' the text reassured the masses.
A loud moan drew Diana's attention to the moving bundle of linen in Leona's bed. Already dreading what she was going to discover under it, Diana pulled away the covers to expose the shameless lovers, only to be blinded by the flash of a camera. The secretary blinked rapidly until her vision cleared enough for her to witness her boss in the throes of love with a group of Ionian tourists.
"That isn't what Elder Helios had in mind when he told you to educate the intruders we found near the monastery and teach them of our way." The pale Solari rubbed the bridge of her nose under her glasses. Diana could just feel a headache manifesting behind her eyes. The mattress hadn't stopped creaking since she had announced her presence to the occupants of the room.
"Me lealning so much," Akali giggled while bouncing on top of Leona, "Talgon peopre vely good senseis. Zed-kun and Shen-kun arso lealn Talgonian curture." The tourist smiled at her before snapping another picture of Diana with her camera. Diana averted her gaze at the last second to avoid being blinded again, but instantly wished she had lost her sight when her eyes landed upon the other two Ionian tourists licking Leona's toes vigorously.
"Radiant Dawn," Diana seethed spitting the title with all the venom she could muster, "the Elders require your presence in the main hall to start the morning rites."
"Tell them that I am busy proselytizing new believers into our fold." Leona grunted while feeding Akali sunflower petals. Diana's eye twitched when another flash temporarily robbed her vision. When her vision returned the two male Ionians were splashing water onto the back of Leona from one of the sunflower vases and were attempting to drink it from her back.
"While I am certain that you are trying your best to bring people into your.. I mean our fold. The Elders cannot perform the rites in your absence. We need you to bless the morning beer."
A bright flash of light almost incinerates Diana's retinas and when the secretary blinks away her tears it is one of the Ionian men that is bouncing on top of Leona while the other two tourists are kissing the flower vase, tongue and all.
"Diana these people need my guidance," Leona protested as she guided the stem of a plucked sunflower down Shen's gullet, "I cannot abandon them in their time of need, not when I am also hot and needy."
"Your people need you more than these foreign infidels, Radiant Dawn," Stated Diana while adjusting her glasses and checking the notes on her clipboard, "After the morning rites you have an appointment with Elder Lionel in the sunbathing chamber, Scribe Alexius wants to hear your opinion about the latest chapter of his Sunny Praiser series, and the Head Inquisitor wants you to use your powers to sterilize his tools whenever you find the time to do so."
When Diana lifts her eyes from the clipboard Leona is bouncing the vase against her lap while the three Ionians are fervently kissing each other. "Also your daughter wants to spend more time with you." Diana glared at the auburn-haired Aspect sternly. That last part causing Leona to finally stop smiling cockily and avoid looking at the pale Solari.
"I am spending time with Zoe..." Leona muttered defensively while examining the sheets of her bed.
"If you did, I would know about it," Retorted Diana, doing her best to ignore the perverted sounds of the three tourists having a threesome behind her boss, "I am your secretary dear, I organize your daily schedule and keep track of you at all times. You haven't seen Zoe since you've brought her with you to that one Rakkor fair last week where you got drunk and left her in the children pit. I had to go all the way down there and bring her back home myself."
Diana wouldn't let the memory of the sleepy imp calling her mommy after she had tacked her in bed put out the flames of her cold fury. The Radiant Dawn ought to woman up and be a better mother for Zoe, especially if the poor girl sought out the reclusive secretary instead of her irresponsible mother every time she had a nightmare. Diana could as well be Zoe's adoptive mom with all the time the pale secretary had calmed down the little troublemaker at this point.
"Fine," Leona exhaled, tiredly, "I will bless the morning beer and spend more time with Zoe. Sheesh! Woman, what are you my wife?" The Radiant Dawn tried to placate her assistant, setting the flower vase on the mattress while standing up in all of her naked glory.
"Thank Sun no. You will also follow today's schedule to a T and refrain from drinking until- what is that?" Started the pale secretary upon noticing a trembling furry creature trying to climb out of the vase that Leona had just placed on the sheets. Akali grinned widely at the sight of the dazed creature.
"Kennen!" She giggled, surprised, "So that's whele you've been hiding ol arong!"