Once their first dance had commenced, Piper dawned the grueling duty of entertaining the partygoers. She mingled with her own parents, her brother, Larry's family, and the rest of the guests as they drunkenly laughed, did their own stupid dances, and played with the microphone Larry had used to make his speech. She'd do her best to stay enthralled in the conversations but every few moments she'd look over her shoulder, searching for her lover. Polly had already made her exit, blaming her early departure on body aches and tiredness. She and Pete had caused a bit of a scene over a small argument because Pete had gotten too drunk to drive them home. After that, the party had begun to die down as more and more guests stumbled out, waving goodbyes and "see you at the office!".
Piper had resigned herself to the restroom as Larry continued talking to his one last coworker, Rob the dead head, because he just couldn't take a hint that the night was winding down. She herself had drank too much during the party, trying to distract herself from the crippling anxiety she was feeling.
She'd closed the door behind her and let out a long heavy sigh, sinking to her knees on the floor. She put her forehead against the cold wood of the door and let the tears run. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to silence the sound of her sobs.
Never in her life had she immersed herself in such a strange reality. Even when she'd had her first affair with the banker she never felt such a conflict. He was just a toy for her. He was a dead mouse to a bored house cat. She used him for a rush of adrenaline and mediocre sex. He hadn't even been better at it than Larry. But, he wasn't even on the same plane of existence as Alex. No one she'd ever met had come even a million miles near where Alex sat in her heart and soul. She couldn't explain it. She couldn't even say she knew what Alex's favorite color was. Or her political standpoints. Or even what she liked to do when she wasn't at work or with Nicky and Lorna. All she knew was that this woman had a hold on her that felt both ethereal and devilish.
She racked her brain, searching for what it could be about Alex that had her so hooked. Her voice. Her body. The way she spoke about her mother. The smile that spread across her face every time she saw Nicky. She pictured Alex. Her long, pale legs. Her toned muscular stomach and arms. Her long, jet black hair. Her eyes. Those deep, crystallic pools that sent bolts of lightning through her every time they met her own. The way they hooded heavily when their bodies touched. The way they fluttered when she reminisced on her life with her mother. The way they glimmered with tears when she spoke about her regrets.
That was it. That striking, thrilling stare. Even picturing it Piper could feel her brain backfiring. She began hitting her head softly against the door.
"You…fucking…idiot."
She pictured Polly and Alex's standoff in the kitchen. The look of fear on her best friend's face as all three of the women had circled in on her. How could Piper have put herself in such a position that she was going to lose someone she'd known nearly all her life over someone she'd only just met? Was Alex really worth all of this? Was she worth the drug trafficking? Losing Larry? Potentially going to prison? Piper rose from the floor and looked at herself in the mirror.
Was Alex worth losing herself for?
Piper set her hand on the face of her reflection. She made a fist, contemplating cocking back and shattering it.
No. She thought. She relaxed her hand and set it back at her side. It isn't worth it.
"Babe?" Larry knocked at the door. "You alright?"
"Yeah." Piper swallowed. "I'm just…gonna get in the shower."
"Okay." He answered. "Well, I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight."
"Night." Piper called back, turning on the shower head.
She undressed and climbed into the shower, feeling the hot water run down her chest and stomach. She closed her eyes and listened to the pitter patter of water hitting the bathtub. She pictured herself somewhere far away. No Larry or Polly or Alex. Just her, standing waist deep in a warm pool of water. She pictured herself looking over the sunset and feeling the mist of sea salt hitting her face in the cool breeze. Somewhere no one needed her to do anything. She didn't have to have an answer. She didn't have to hide anything. She could just…exist.
Her fantasy was ripped away by the sound of the bathroom door opening. Before Piper could say anything, a naked Larry climbed into the shower with her.
"I thought you were going to bed?" She asked.
"I wasn't as tired as I thought." He joked, running his hands down her sides to her hips. He pulled her into him and set his lips against hers. Piper didn't accept nor deny him. She did what she had been so used to doing and went into autopilot. She let him take charge as he lifted her leg to his side, pressing his waist closer into her's. She nearly cringed at the feeling of his erection but allowed him to continue. He rushed the moment, crashing his lips harder against hers, nearly clashing their front teeth into each other. Piper pulled away, grabbing his face.
"Larry," she breathed. "Would you maybe wanna…" She shrugged. "Warm me up? Just a bit?"
He smiled awkwardly.
"Yeah, yeah, of course." He pulled away. "You mean like… head?"
"If you want to?" Piper said nervously. Larry pushed his curly hair off of his forehead, seeming to consider it for a moment. He turned around and shut off the water.
"Let's take it to the bedroom…shower sex is super overrated anyways." He chuckled. That made Piper laugh. She followed him into the bedroom, allowing him to lead her by the wrist. He shut off the bedroom lights, allowing the white beams of the moon to shine in through their window and illuminate the bed around them.
Piper laid down, pulling Larry on top of her. They kissed softly this time. She ran her fingers through his damp hair and breathed him in, smelling his cologne. Larry wasted no time in putting his head between her thighs.
She noticed that no matter how much she tried, Larry wasn't going to touch her like Alex did. He wasn't going to run his hands up and down her stomach and make her flesh vibrate with just his fingertips. His lips would never taste like strawberry chapstick and cafe mocha. His body would never smell like Chanel Number Nine with a tinge of smoke.
Piper wrapped her fingers in his hair, running her thumb through his curls as he moved his mouth. He hadn't taken the time to kiss her hips or tease her. He hadn't rubbed the insides of her thighs or used his lips to touch everywhere except her clit in anticipation. He'd jumped right into it, lapping away. He had actually touched everywhere except her clit but not in any way that was purposeful. Piper tried angling her hips, scooting to the left or right, moving her body lower for him to catch on easier. He wasn't getting the hint. He just tightened his grasp on her, not letting her move.
"Just relax, baby." He smiled. Piper felt a spark of anger in her chest. He thought he was doing so well that she was writhing in pleasure. He thought he was the man. His words reminded her of her first time with Alex when she'd looked up at her and said, "Relax baby. Does Larry rush you like that?"
Yes, he did, and she never seemed to get anything out of it. Piper began to deepen her breathing as a familiar feeling arose in her stomach. The churning, horrendous sensation of vomit rushing towards her esophagus. Piper sat up quickly, pushing Larry off of her.
"I'm sorry!" She exclaimed as she ran back towards the bathroom. She made it just in time to throw up into the toilet. Her entire body quaked as she continued heaving long after she was done. Piper flushed the toilet and leaned back against the bathtub, trying to get enough air into her lungs to calm down.
The woman stared up at the ceiling, looking at her shadow. She thought for a moment before reaching into the cabinet under the sink. She reached to the very back behind the toilet paper, hair dryer, and various bottles of skin cream to grab a box of long ago forgotten about pregnancy tests. It only contained one. She had used the first to give to Polly when she was suspicious of her own pregnancy that she was now carrying.
She hoped she was wrong. She hoped it was just the alcohol and the events of the night that'd brought her here. She stood over the sink and drank water straight from the faucet until she felt as though her bladder was going to burst. Then, she perched onto the toilet and began to urinate, doing her best to get as much as she could onto the tip of the little white stick she was holding between her legs.
When she finished, she set the test on the edge of the sink and held her head between her hands. She reflected on the past month and a half. She'd developed this new habit of vomiting when stressed. She'd become irritable and her sex drive had been through the roof. But these things had only gotten more intense since her secret affair with Alex had begun. If she were to be pregnant, what would she do? Would she tell Alex? Would she even tell Larry? She didn't want this. She couldn't do this. She took herself back to that warm body of water by the sunset. She imagined the breeze and the palm trees dancing. Just as the sea salt began grazing her lips, her phone timer beeped. Piper took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
Negative. The test was negative.
She exhaled quickly and began to laugh. Her eyes welled with tears and her voice got caught in her throat. Everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay and she knew it because that single little pink line said so.
Piper stood and headed back towards the bedroom.
"Larry?" She called, ready to get back to their prior activities. She found him snoring away in the same position she'd left him in. She sighed and headed back down the hallway towards the kitchen, walking through the dark of their apartment. She entered the kitchen, looking at all the leftover beer cans and bottles. She grimaced at the thought of having to clean it up in the morning because she knew the man asleep in their bed wasn't going to do it. She noticed the pie Lorna had brought remained untouched on the island. She pulled up a stool and sat down, looking down at the beautifully decorated cherry pie. Whether it was the remaining effects of the alcohol or the relief of knowing she wasn't trapped into an eighteen year contract with Larry, Piper decided she didn't need a fork. She sunk a hand into the pie and began eating from her palm, letting bright red jelly and cherries run down her fingers onto her chin. She sank her other hand into it, eating it like an animal. She couldn't explain it but sitting here, eating this pie, felt like she'd just walked through the gates of heaven. She was chewing away, scooping another bite into her mouth when the kitchen light turned on, startling her. Piper yelped and jumped up from her seat.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Larry asked. She looked at him and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, trying to swallow the giant bite of pie crust and cherries.
"I got…" She mumbled. "I got hungry."
He looked at her in confusion. He had pulled on his green striped boxers that Piper hated so much.
"I thought I threw those out." She pointed at his underwear.
"Yeah I found them in the donation bag in the closet." He crossed his arms across his chest defensively.
"Oh." She shrugged. Piper turned back to her pie, going in for another bite.
"What the hell is going on with you?" He asked, snatching her hand away from it. His grasp was a little too tight on her wrist for comfort. Piper winced and pulled away.
"Larry," She sighed.
"Pipes, you've been weird for a month and a half now. Ever since you started working that job, you haven't been the same. I don't know what it is…" He set his hands on his hips. "I don't know if it's seeing dead bodies every day or working with… those lesbians."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Piper squinted her eyes at him. "Those lesbians? Are you serious, Larry?"
"Piper, I'm just saying-"
"No, Larry, fuck you." Piper said angrily. "You don't get to call them that. You have no fucking idea what those women go through. You have no fucking clue what Alex has been through. Just because she likes women you don't get to judge her because you're an uppity Jew from Park Slope!"
"Oh what Alex has been through." Larry laughed. "Alex Vause? The fucking junkie thief with the dead mom?"
Piper slapped him across the face. They looked at each other in shock. Their relationship had never reached a point in which they'd gotten violent with one another. Piper almost wouldn't have believed she'd done it if it weren't for the cherry red handprint stain on his left cheek.
"I saw you two." He choked out. His eyes were brimming with tears. "I saw you two in here during the party. The way she was looking at you. I know I interrupted something and you can't tell me I'm crazy."
"Well you are fucking crazy Larry." Piper said as she pushed past him and made her way to the bedroom. He followed after her, watching her throw clothes into a backpack in the closet.
"Where are you going?" He asked angrily.
"I'm going to Polly's." She answered.
"No you're not, Piper." He barked. "You're gonna stay here and tell me what the fuck it is you've got going on with Alex."
"There is nothing going on you fucking psycho!' Piper shouted, throwing a shirt at him. The shirt hit his chest and fell to the floor. "I am so tired of you being the warden in this fucking prison of a life."
He looked at her in silence. They stared at each other for a moment before Piper continued packing.
"Then go." He sputtered. "Then go be with her if you hate being here with me."
"I'm not with her." Piper threw on a hoodie and sweatpants. "I'm with you. But, you are so god damned paranoid that you are ruining us, Larry." She threw on her house slippers and headed towards the door. "I am not the problem Larry. It is you." She pointed her finger at him.
"Go! Fucking go!" He screamed.
"Fuck you, Larry." Piper said as she exited the front door, cutting off his screaming replies.
Alex was lying awake in her bed, in the dark, as she often did listening to the ticking of her alarm clock. She couldn't shake the images of Piper and Larry from her mind. She kept replaying their first dance over and over again in her mind. The way he held her so tightly as their song played and their friends and family looked on with fondness. She began to wonder if maybe Polly had been right. Maybe it was time Alex let Piper go and give her back her regular life with her rich fiance. Then she began to think about what Red had said to her not so long ago.
"Do not think for an instant that girl wouldn't throw you under the bus the moment they threaten her with longer than twenty four hours in jail."
Even without the possibility of Piper going to the police, Alex couldn't bear the thought of losing her. She didn't want to think about losing Piper to someone she knew wasn't giving her the life she deserved. Alex's feelings confused her. She'd been with hundreds of women. She'd been the mistress to plenty of poor straight girls who just couldn't seem to make up their minds. But Piper, she was different.
Alex finally decided to give up on attempting to get some sleep. She sat up and turned on her bedside light, looking down at her nightstand. Even though she and Nicky had made the promise of no more lies, Alex had her own secrets. It wasn't lying if no one was asking and she wasn't telling, right?
She pulled open her nightstand drawer and grabbed the cigar box she'd had since she was a teenager. It was always the box she used to keep her weed hidden from her mom. This time, it held a much more sinister drug.
A few weeks prior, the night she and Piper shared their first kiss, Nicky had offered her cocaine. They'd danced and drank all night, taking a break every hour to do a line off of her picture frame from her own nightstand. It had been the first time in quite a while she'd done cocaine. That night had awakened her addiction that'd been under a long hibernation. She knew it was there, of course. It never truly goes away. But she'd been managing it well enough by drinking heavily and chain smoking cigarettes. She thought one more time couldn't hurt.
But now it was awake and it was a beast that had adopted a new, more profound kind of hunger. It was now just another constant in her mind, sitting right in between Piper and Kubra. She was beginning to worry because every single day, it grew larger. It was starting to take up more and more space, making Piper and Kubra look smaller with each passing moment. She knew eventually it'd grow so large that it'd envelope Kubra and Piper. It'd swallow up Nicky and Lorna. It'd manifest into a being that would intertwine itself with the grief she felt over her mother. It'd claw its way to her memory of Regina and make it look like it wasn't something so horrible. Best of all, it'd take away all her stress of life itself. It was a snow white pile of matter that could hand her the keys to happiness. But right now, it was just a harmless little line of powder on an old, scratched up mirror. It was just something to do to keep from boredom.
Alex had just placed a straw against her nostril as a knock came from her door. She checked her alarm clock. It was two o'clock in the morning. She set the mirror down gently and stood up slowly. She remembered the night she'd stood outside the club and run into Kubra. The same night he and his goons had landed Lorna in the hospital. Alex pulled on her robe as the knocking continued. She hurriedly reached under her bed and grabbed a wooden box. She unlatched it and quickly pulled out a loaded pistol. The knocking grew louder, echoing through her apartment.
"Who is it?" She called, holding the gun out in front of her. The knocking took on a faster tempo, sending haunting sounds throughout her home.
"Who the fuck is it?!" Alex shouted. She reached her door, setting her hand on the chain lock. The knocking stopped. She moved her hand to the doorknob, trying to decide whether she should open her door or attempt to go off the fire escape.
"Alex." Piper called from the other side of the door. "Alex, it's me."
"Is anybody with you?" Alex felt a rush of relief come over her as she kept her hand resting on the doorknob.
"N-No? What are you-"
Alex swung the door open. She looked down both sides of the hallway before settling on Piper. She looked over the small blonde woman. She looked defeated in her baggy hoodie and sweatpants, her mouth stained with red. Her long hair was still damp from her shower with Larry. Alex looked at her backpack in hand and put her hands behind her, hiding the gun.
"Are you okay? What's going on?" She asked. Piper burst into tears.
"Larry and I got into a fight and he…" She sobbed. "He slapped me." She lied.
"What?" Alex set her hand on Piper's shoulder. "He fucking hit you? Are you serious?" Piper nodded and threw herself into Alex's arms. Alex closed the door and held her tight, pointing the gun at the door behind her back. She kissed her on the head and pulled away from her, setting the pistol on the kitchen counter.
"Are you alright?" Alex led her to the couch.
"Yeah I'm just…" Piper heaved, trying to catch her breath. "He kicked me out and I didn't know where else to go. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. It's perfectly fine. I was awake anyway." The older woman pulled her into her arms. Piper nuzzled her face into Alex's neck and breathed her in, trying to settle herself down.
"I just, I don't know what to do Alex."
"Why's your mouth all red? Is it from blood? Did your nose bleed or something?" Alex grabbed her chin.
"Oh," Piper chuckled. "No, it's actually from Lorna's pie." Alex looked at her for a moment, eyes wide in confusion. Piper felt embarrassed, trying to turn her face out of Alex's hold. Then the brunette began to laugh. She threw her head back and laughed harder, falling into Piper's lap.
"What? I got really hungry." Piper started to laugh, trying to wipe the red stain from her mouth. Alex set her hands on her face and continued to laugh, rubbing her thumb over Piper's damp, tear stained cheek.
"You are….fucking ridiculous."
"You wanna try some?" Piper inched closer, smiling.
"What flavor is it?"
"Cherry." Piper met the woman's nose with the tip of her own.
"That's my favorite." Alex kissed her gently, the two laughing in between kisses. They joined hands, rubbing their thumbs over each other's knuckles. Piper Set her forehead against hers looking at their intertwined hands.
"Was that a gun?" She asked.
"Yeah…sorry about that." Alex sighed, pushing her glasses up to hold her hair back. "Shit's gotten so crazy, I just can't be too careful any more."
"I don't want you to be afraid." Piper said quietly.
"I am." Alex nodded. "I'm actually very fucking afraid, Piper." The tone became serious. "I never know if some roid raging Turkish asshole is gonna bust through my door and beat me to death. Or if his boss will come in with a gun instead. Or if your pregnant best friend is gonna send Larry to my door." Alex laughed saying the last part.
"I honestly don't think you've gotta worry about Larry, Alex." Piper tightened her hold on her hand.
"What do you mean?" Alex turned to her.
"After tonight…after we fought over you I don't know if we have much of a future any more."
"You fought over me?" Alex scoffed.
"Yeah." Piper shrugged. "He accused me of fucking you. He said he saw us together at the party and he called you and Nicky lesbians and I said 'fuck you, Larry'...and he slapped me. Then he kicked me out. I don't think I wanna be with someone like that."
"Well…" Alex brushed Piper's hair off her face. "Just so you know," She kissed Piper on the cheek. "Nicky and I are lesbians."
Piper laughed and punched her shoulder playfully. "Shut up, dummy."
Alex pulled her into an embrace and kissed her deeply. Piper leaned into her, pushing her backwards onto the couch. The brunette set her hands on Piper's bottom, bringing her closer. Piper could almost feel the life surging back into her body as Alex touched her. The warmth of the woman underneath her sent a shock of heat through her spine and straight into her core. The feeling of her lips against her own reminded her of very first. That nerve racking, electric, exciting moment in which you hope you're doing everything right.
The way Piper's body pressed into Alex's made her feel as though she were holding an angel in her very own arms. Something so fragile yet cosmically aligned. The way Piper's hair fell down her shoulders made Alex's heart flutter and her skin break out in goosebumps. No, she thought, she couldn't bear the thought of letting her go.
Alex scooped the younger woman into her arms and wrapped her legs around her waist, carrying her to the bedroom as her robe trailed behind her. After all the kisses, the red stain on Piper's face had nearly deteriorated.
Alex laid her on the bed, looking down at her. She looked so petite in her oversized hoodie and sweatpants. The way she smiled up at her made her rethink that ever growing monster in her brain that demanded she fill it with poison. Maybe it wasn't making Piper smaller in the limited space of her brain. Or maybe just in this moment, Piper was so fulfilling she didn't need anything else. But she knew, as soon as this night was over, the monster would be back and the hunger would be deeper than ever.
She didn't have to think about that right now. All she had to think about was the woman beneath her with a smile so beautiful, every time she showed it, all it did was remind Alex of that stupid lyric about a guy named David playing a chord that pleased somebody's lord. It was dumb and it made her feel like she was fifteen again. She loved it.
She let her robe drop to the floor, revealing her mismatched sports bra and boxer shorts. Piper began stripping off her hoodie and pants, excitedly giggling as Alex crawled on top of her and hurriedly helped her undress. They kissed sweetly, nipping at each other and whispering in each other's ears. They spent longer than they usually would with foreplay as this time there was no rush. There were no fears of being caught or hopes that Nicky wasn't going to "accidentally" walk in on them. For the first time since they'd met they could take the time to appreciate each other's bodies. Alex ran her fingers down Piper's chest, over her black bra. She noticed her tan lines and the various freckles. With every inch of skin her fingers caressed new goosebumps arose. She'd never noticed the T shaped birthmark on Piper's inner hip. She took her time running her thumb over it and pecking her body with kisses. Piper looked down at the other woman with a smile on her face.
"I missed you, Al."
"I missed you more than you know, Pipes."
Somehow, even her nickname sounded better coming from Alex's mouth.
"In fact," Alex smiled as she climbed up the bed. "I want you to sit right here." She patted the mattress. Piper did as she was told and sat in the place her lover had demanded. "And I'm gonna sit right here." Alex sat behind her, leaning back against the headboard. Piper leaned back, resting her head on the other woman's shoulder. Alex reached under the pillow next to her and pulled out a small bullet vibrator. She spread Piper's legs, rubbing the insides of her thighs. Then, she ran her hand up Piper's back, unhooking her bra and allowing it to fall onto the bed.
The younger woman relaxed into Alex, allowing all her stresses of the night to fade away.
"I missed the sound of your voice." Alex flipped on the vibrator, running it down the front of Piper's chest and letting it sit against one of her nipples. Piper lurched at the feeling before relaxing again. She took in a deep breath, allowing the sensation to run its course.
"I missed the smell of your shampoo." She moved the vibrator to her second nipple and used her free hand to play with the other. Piper whimpered, trying to allow herself a moment to enjoy the feeling rather than to prepare for things to end the way she was so used to with her fiance.
"I missed the taste of your lips." Alex turned her head to catch Piper's lips. They kissed as she moved the vibrator downwards, circling her navel. Piper breathed.
"What else?"
"Don't rush me." Alex smirked.
Piper grabbed Alex's free hand, gripping it tightly.
"I missed the way you squirm when I tease you, like this." Alex dipped the vibrator low enough to graze against Piper's clit for just a second. Piper bucked her hips.
"Slow, slow, sloooow." Alex whispered, kissing the side of her neck.
"I missed the sound of your moans." She finally gave in and set the vibrator against the place Piper wanted it most. Piper let out a choked moan and leaned closer into Alex, biting her lip. Alex let go of her hand and ran it up her stomach, to her chest.
"And I definitely missed what you do when I do this." She wrapped her hand around Piper's throat, squeezing the sides of her neck. Piper shook, her legs quivering. She moaned again, digging her nails into Alex's arm. Alex began sucking gently on various spots on her throat, nipping at her warm flesh.
"Your turn, Pipes." She demanded. Piper took a deep breath, trying to fight through the rising feeling in her stomach. The vibration began to send waves of heat through her body and cause her muscles to tighten.
"I missed-" She whined. "The way you say my name." She could feel Alex smiling against her neck.
"And?" She pressed the vibrator closer, making Piper's body tighten even more.
"I missed the way you look at me." The sensation was becoming almost too much to bear. Her muscles were seizing and her body was nearly convulsing as she did her best not to finish, trying to hold onto the moment as best she could.
"Keep going." The brunette demanded.
"I missed the way you make me feel…" She swallowed. "When you do this to me."
"How does it make you feel?" Alex asked. Piper's orgasm was beginning to reach its breaking point. Those ever familiar waves of adrenaline and heat that only Alex could give her were rushing over her body and every second felt even better than the last.
"It feels like I'm…" Piper moaned. "Fucking in love with you."
Just as Piper finished her sentence, she reached her climax. She let out a loud cry as her body stiffened and a flood or warmth pooled between her legs. Her thighs shook feverishly and her eyes began to brim with tears as a feeling of calm overcame her. Alex kissed the side of her face, brushing her hair back and taking the time to rub her fingertips over her stomach. Piper curled into her, laying her head on her chest. She thought about what she had said just as she was reaching her climax. She feared she'd gone too far.
"Me too." Alex whispered.
"What?" She asked.
"That feeling." Alex kissed her jawline. "Me too."
Piper smiled and nuzzled her head closer into the woman. She looked over the nightstand, spotting the cocaine.
"What's that?" She asked, sitting up. Alex lost her smile as she realized what Piper had seen.
"Oh fuck, Piper, I'm sorry. Don't look at that." Alex quickly jumped out of the bed and began trying to set the mirror back into the drawer.
"Can I have some?" Piper asked, shocking Alex.
"What?"
"It's coke, right?" Piper grinned.
"I mean…yeah, it's coke." She shrugged.
"Can I have some?" Piper asked again. She'd never done cocaine. She'd seen her friends in college do it constantly but was never brave enough to actually try it. For some reason now, she was deeply intrigued.
"I don't know, Pipes. This stuff is pretty strong. Have you ever done coke?" Alex asked nervously.
"Yeah." Piper lied again. "I used to do a lot in college."
"College." Alex smiled. "College coke is a lot different from coke from the Turkish drug trade."
"Is that Kubra's?" She asked.
"No, it's from a friend of mine who happens to be associated with Kubra. Fahri is his name."
"Fahri." Piper repeated. "That's an odd name."
Alex chuckled. She sat on the bed next to her and held the mirror up, looking over the small mountain of white powder piled up on the glass.
"You know, you don't have to do this just cause I do this. I'll still like you even if you don't do drugs. We aren't in highschool." Alex nudged her.
"Oh I know, I just, really think it'd be fun to get high with you." Piper shrugged. "If you don't wanna share your fancy Turkish coke with me that's fine."
"Fine." Alex handed her the mirror. "But, go easy. It's strong, like, for real."
Piper took the mirror, trying to hide her nervousness. She thought about all the drug overdose victims she'd picked up in her short career at the funeral home. They always had this huge cloud of foam coming from their mouths and their skin was always purple with pinpoints of red spread throughout their bodies. She imagined herself like that. It was too late now, she'd talked herself into a situation that she couldn't back out of.
Piper took the credit card off the nightstand and filed herself a tiny line. She looked over Alex's face, hoping she'd give some kind of clue of whether it was too much or too little.
"You want me to do it?" Alex asked.
"I mean, if you wouldn't mind." Piper shrugged. Alex rolled her eyes and laughed.
"You've never done coke a day in your fucking life have you?"
Piper bit her lip and shook her head shyly.
"No." She smiled.
"Give it here you goon." Alex went to work, cutting Piper's line in half.
"You wanna be very careful on how much you do." She instructed. "If you take too much you're gonna have a bad time. If you do just enough, you will have the greatest fucking time."
Piper watched as Alex chopped the card along the mirror, tediously cutting little lines along the glass's edge. She picked up a short straw off the nightstand and set it against the glass.
"Then you wanna do it all in one big inhale." She flipped her hair back and set her nostril against the straw.
"Like this." She snorted the line from the glass and threw her head back, sniffing. She shook her head, her eyes widening.
"Here." She handed it to Piper, holding the straw for her. Piper did her best to copy her. She set her nostril against the straw and did one quick sharp inhale. She choked, trying not to cough.
The sensation of cocaine was one she had never felt but it wasn't what she expected either. As soon as the powder hit the back of her throat, her nose and the back of her mouth went numb. She felt a sudden surge of energy and her heart's pace quickened almost ten fold.
"Woah." She smiled.
"I know." Alex did another line before setting the mirror down. She smiled a kind of smile Piper had never seen before. An almost giddy, excited smile. Piper felt as though she could run a marathon. Despite the sudden rush of adrenaline, she felt a sense of serenity overcome her. The rush of cocaine was the closest thing she experienced to the way Alex made her feel.
"Come here." Piper demanded, motioning Alex closer with her finger.
"Come there?" Alex giggled.
"Right now." She smiled.
"Now?"
"Now." Piper pulled her into a kiss.
The two women stayed up throughout the night switching between sex, smoke breaks, old music videos, and bumps of coke. They rode the night all the way into the sunrise, neither of them feeling even a tinge of tiredness. As Alex's alarm clock rang at seven a.m. both women decided they deserved a day off.
"Are you sure?" Piper asked.
"Yes. Nicky owes me one." Alex smiled as they rolled around in bed in a whirl of hair and laughter.
Things were winding down around eleven a.m. as both women had reached their crash from the night of drugs and cigarettes. Both their bodies were sore and their heads were pounding with each ray of incoming sunlight. They'd just turned off the music and gotten themselves comfortable in bed when a knock came at the front door.
"Fuck me." Alex sighed.
"I'll get it." Piper kissed her cheek before climbing out of bed. Alex reached for her hand, trying to keep her from leaving.
"I'll be right back baby. Go to sleep." Piper cooed as she pulled on her hoodie and Alex's boxer shorts.
She made her way down the hall, pulling her hood over her mess of hair.
"Coming." She called as the knocking pursued.
She set her hand on the doorknob before looking over to the counter where she spotted the gun lying on its side. Piper quickly grabbed it, pointing it at the floor before opening the door. In a startled motion, Piper tucked the gun in her hoodie pocket as she came face to face with the unwelcome visitor.
"Hi, I'm Officer Bennett." The police officer at the door introduced himself. "Is Alex Vause here?"
"Uh…Yeah." Piper nodded shyly. "She's actually still asleep."
"Oh." He nodded. "Would it be okay if I came in?" He asked. Piper hesitated.
"I really don't think now is a good time." She shook her head.
"I think now is a perfect time." Kubra said as he stepped around the corner. Piper looked over the officer and noticed the panicked look in his eyes. Kubra had a gun pointing at his lower back.
"Fuck." She whispered.
"Right." Kubra pushed the officer through the doorway. "Go wake her junkie ass up. Now." Kubra demanded, closing the door behind him.
Piper backed away slowly and ran down the hallway to the bedroom.
"Alex. Alex, wake up." Piper said in a panic. Alex looked up at her, blinking sleepily.
"There's a guy here. He's here with a cop and he has a gun, you have to wake up."
Alex shot out of bed, stumbling. She pulled her robe over herself and crept to the bedroom door, looking down the hall.
"Alex, what do we do?" Piper asked in fear.
"Piper, where's the gun?" She whispered.
"Right here, in my pocket." She pulled it out.
"Put it away, right now." Alex flipped the safety off and gave it back to her. Piper shoved it back in her hoodie pocket and hid behind the other woman.
"Alex, don't make me come get you." Kubra called from the living room.
"You stay here. I'll be back. Stay right here." She demanded, kissing Piper's hand.
"Bring that Barbie bitch with you." Kubra instructed. Piper began to cry.
"I'm coming, let me get dressed." Alex replied. She wiped Piper's tears. "Don't do that right now baby, please, don't let him see that." Piper nodded and wiped her face. She took a deep breath. Alex kissed her on the lips before taking her own deep breath and opening the bedroom door.
The couple made their way down the hallway to the living room. Kubra sat on the couch with the police officer standing in the middle of the room. Kubra kept his gun aimed at the officer.
"Kubra…" Alex breathed, looking at the police officer. She noticed his belt where his gun would usually be was missing. "What's going on?"
"I decided to take a trip to the funeral home just to do a quarterly evaluation, you know how that goes." Kubra grinned and lit a cigarette. "I found this one here snooping around. He wanted to know if I knew anything about Joel Luschek." He answered, a fog of smoke rolling out from between his lips.
"Okay." Alex nodded. "Um, what's he doing in my apartment?"
"Cut the shit, Alex." Kubra hissed. "He knows everything."
Alex straightened her posture. Piper did her best to focus her breathing. She'd never met Kubra or even seen a photo of him. All this time he'd remained a faceless entity to her. She'd been living blissfully ignorant, viewing Kubra as an old legend of folklore circled around the funeral home like a campfire ghost story. A monster who breaks into tents and steals away girl scouts in the night. Seeing him now felt as if she were looking at the devil himself.
"Luschek was a fucking rat. He's been working with Officer Limp Dick over here. Well, he was until I blew his fucking brains out."
Both women shared a look before glancing back at Officer Bennett. He was sweating bullets and his eyes were glossy.
"Luschek decided to tell him all about our little operation which he found out about because of your friend Nicky." Kubra stood up and ashed his cigarette on the rug. "Which, if we're being honest, I should kill Nicky. But, I like her." He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know why, but I like her. I've got her doing a little side gig for me anyways so I guess I'll deal with her later."
Officer Bennett made eye contact with Piper. He blinked slowly at her. Piper hid her face in her hands.
"But, as of right now, I've gotta deal with this little piggy right here." Kubra nudged the muzzle of the gun against the side of the officer's head. Officer Bennett flinched.
"What about her?" Kubra pointed the gun at Piper. "What does she know about?" Piper shook her head, trying not to cry.
"I-I" She stuttered.
"Kubra, she just helps me with deliveries, that's it." Alex jumped in.
"Bullshit." Kubra said, not breaking eye contact with Piper.
"It's true. I've only run duffel bags, that's it." Piper choked out. "I don't know anything about anything else. I just do removals and-"
"And fuck Alex? Behind your boyfriend, excuse me, behind your fiance's back. Larry? Larry Bloom, that's his name right?" Kubra asked.
Piper nodded.
"His parents live in Park Slope, no?" He continued.
Piper nodded her head again.
"You know what Piper, come here." He instructed. Piper looked at Alex. Alex shook her head.
"Come. Here." Kubra pointed at her.
Alex looked at him. "Kubra, please d-"
"Shut your fucking mouth Alex! Shut the fuck up!" He shouted. Alex stopped talking, pulling her robe closer to her body.
Piper inched closer to Kubra. He grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to his side.
"Do you like your life?" He whispered.
"Y-Yes." Piper gulped.
"Do you care about the guy you're gonna marry?" He pushed.
"Yes."
"I'm sure you give a fuck about Alex, right? Or at least her pussy, huh?" He smiled.
Piper stayed silent. He nudged her.
"Yes, I do."
"Perfect." He grinned. "Because I know Vause over here can keep her mouth shut. But you, I'm not sure about. We haven't spent any time together." He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. "You're a beautiful woman, you know. I mean, Alex, you've got quite the eye for women." He looked over at Alex who hung her head and stared at the carpet.
"What're you doing all this for, huh? Money? Drugs? What is it?" Kubra inched his face closer, brushing his lips against the side of Piper's face.
"I'm not…" Piper shook. "I just…"
"You just what?" Kubra whispered in her ear.
"I just wanted to work for a funeral home." She shook her head.
"Right." Kubra made a fast motion and pulled the gun from her hoodie pocket. He pointed it at her forehead. "Well I know you're not some master mind cause you can't even hide your fucking weapon, you stupid bitch." He pushed Piper back into the couch hard. She landed with a loud thud.
"Vause, how do I know she doesn't need to be gotten rid of? What can you give me?" Kubra pointed Alex's own gun at her.
"I'll give you anything you want, Kubra." Alex began to shake. Her voice quivered. "Anything you want." She pleaded.
"You'd take that robe off for me?" He smirked.
Piper looked at Alex again.
"If…If that's what it takes." Alex began to cry.
"You'd give your life for her?" Kubra asked. "If I told you right now I'm gonna shoot one you bitches, who would you tell me to shoot, hm?"
"Me." Alex sobbed. "Take me, not her."
"What do you think?" He looked at Officer Bennett.
"I think this can all be forgotten about." He whispered. "I won't tell anybody about this. I'll quit the force and I will leave, just let us walk." He pleaded.
"No, I don't quite think that's how it goes."
Without another word, Kubra fired the gun at the left side of the officer's head. A loud bang rang throughout the apartment and blood sprayed over the white walls. Piper gasped loudly and covered her mouth with her hand to keep from screaming. Alex sank to the floor, looking over the officer's lifeless body.
"Alright." Kubra sighed, tossing the gun onto the couch. "Get this cleaned up." He lit another cigarette and straightened his shirt. He headed for the door.
"Piper, it was so nice to finally get to meet you. Oh and don't forget, Alex, you gave me your life for that skinny broad on the couch over there. Make sure she doesn't fuck up. Your death won't be so nice." He gave them a wave goodbye. "We'll be in touch. Have a good day." He exited through the front door.
Piper and Alex were left in her apartment, staring at the dead police officer as his blood stained the entirety of Alex's white carpet.