Chapter 15.

"Then this needs to stop."

This sobered Harry up. His smile had fallen and though he felt a little heart broken, he was more confused.

"I don't understand sir, I thought you liked me?" Snape continued to stand with is hand on the wall above the fireplace, staring into the fire. The shadow his long cape-like cloak had casted fell onto Harry, causing him to feel a chill up his spine.

"I do like you Harry, hence why I'm asking for your friendship."

Harry understood now, their use of the word like had meant different things. Harry decided to try another word to communicate his feelings clearer.

"I thought you…fancied me?"

It hurt to ask those words. He had never felt so small from speaking words before. He sounded pitiful like a heart broken girl at the Yule Dance.

"Harry, I don't know if I fancy you and whether I do or don't doesn't matter. We are teacher and student. This behaviour, this half naked massaging and sloppy flirtations need to stop. The Headmistress will bend over backwards for us if we want to begin a friendship but anything else…I don't know Harry, you're still a student."

Harry felt his eyes water. This was worse than ending things with Cho and Ginny combined. Harry felt stupid. His chest tightened and his throat choking.

"It's because I'm a boy, isn't it?"

This caught Severus off guard. He had thought he told the boy that he preferred men over woman, but it seemed that he needed to make that clear too.

"No Harry, what is in your pants doesn't bother me. I prefer men over woman. I am gay."

He prefers men. HE PREFERS MEN!

Harry felt panic in the realization that in that instant he knew why Snape didn't like him. Severus Snape prefers men and though only Harry knew, Harry was in fact, not a man. Memories of him in his green dress came flooding back. The feel of the frills and lace, that free feeling of nothing constricting his legs when wearing clothing. The completeness Harry feels when his hair is long, and he is beautiful. Snape had almost kissed him before because Harry was a boy. He didn't kiss him though because Snape can probably sense that maybe Harry isn't man enough for him. Harry wasn't a boy inside; she was a girl!

Which now left Harry with a choice. He has a chance with Severus if he remains as a boy but that would mean living a life of misery and incompleteness. He'll forever feel empty and ugly. He will never feel full and whole. He will never feel beautiful but if he decides to finally open to being a girl, she will be complete, whole and free but she would lose the man she loves.

Snape was truly the only man, the only other human who understood Harry. How it felt to be used as a pawn in a game of chess. To be a vital piece to the game, to the war. To be gossiped and doubted. To have the whole world thinking they know him but not even know his favourite colour.

Accepting Snape's friendship will mean the end of a beautiful and free Harry but gaining a potential lover in the future, someone who truly understands what is feels like to be used and abused by Albus and Voldemort. Harry will never have another soul like Severus.

But denying his friendship, Harry can be the girl he had always wanted to be.

Harry started crying harder. Snape had no idea of the internal battle that was happening within the teen. He just presumed it was another teen getting their heart broken. For Merlin's sake, wasn't he good enough to be just a friend? Was he only ever good for a quick fuck?

Harry began to nod and wipe his tears away. He had made his decision. Harry smiled awkwardly and asked almost too innocently.

"Can we still hug as friends?"

Snape smiled. He had seen Harry express his fondness with his other friends over the years, he supposed he wouldn't be any different.

"While you are enrolled at Hogwarts, only in private."

Snape watched Harry take in those words. Harry stood and walked over to him and standing in front of him, looking at him. Snape could see that Harry was about to let go of something, break something inside of himself. Sacrificing something but he just couldn't pinpoint it. The use of Legilimency was tempting but with this new friendship, that would no longer be used between them.

Harry let one more tear fall before finally speaking.

"Severus, I would really love to be friends with you. You're worth it."

Snape knew there was more meaning behind his words of 'Worth', but he couldn't help smiling. Severus's first real friend since the death of Albus. The son of his once best friend and if he played his cards right perhaps a future lover. Snape opened his arms and let Harry in and as they stood there embracing the official status of friendship and feelings confessed and spoken, he couldn't stop thinking that Harry had just let something go that meant a lot to him. Maybe in time, his new friend will tell him what it was but right now, Severus and Harry stood holding each other and finally feeling peace with each other's company.