'When she isn't listening' A short story from a collection of one-shots focused around frequently encountered manga and anime tropes and stereotypes.
Shyvana hummed in her sleep as she basked in the warmth of the early afternoon sun. The grass beneath her was soft and comfortable, the forest clearing pleasantly quiet with a distinct lack of pesky monsters. Truth be told, even if there were some of the annoying creaters around, Shyvana was too high-leveled for the starting area and could easily dispatch them with no trouble. She had only visited the Odd Forest to collect potion ingredients for a certain acquaintance of hers, and now she rested after two hours of diving into thorny bushes.
The burlap sack she used as a pillow while she slept was bloated and round by the amount of herbs and useful plants that Shyvana had shoved inside it. The fragrance of its bountiful contents carrying on to the sleeping woman's nostrils, an earthy and soothing plant smell both familiar and comforting.
Shyvana really enjoyed her afternoon naps. Perhaps this was because of her being a Half-Dragon, a being that was once close cousins with ancient serpents and lizards. Shyvana had a collection of scrab-like dark scales on her pale purple flesh to prove those claims even though her human part negated the cold-blooded traits of the mentioned beings in her bloodline.
Perhaps the reason for her enjoying her long sunbathing sessions was because implied Class then? The name Flame Warrior implied possessing some inate affinity for heat, and it wouldn't surprise Shyvana if she received some resting bonus while occupying a warm area. The Half-Dragon had noticed how groggy and tired she felt when waking up during the winter, so the opposite could be true if there was a Class Passive involved. Maybe she would seek an Oracle the next time she visited a big town to confirm those suspicions of hers.
For a while Shyvana remained blissfully unaware of the growls and barks that reached her ears. She disregarded the yells as something she heard in her dream as she explored vast fields in the clouds with the peculiar thoughtlessness that sleeping people exhibit. She examined the swaying ocean of wheat with interest and then she forgot all about it while patting the fluffy white ground in amazement.
Only to instantly lose interest in it as well, when the curiosity of her subconscious self was temporally sated.
Inside her dream, Shyvana searched for the source of the growling sounds. She walked inside the wheat field turning left and right to no avail. The ashen dragoness frowned in her sleep. The noises were becoming louder as her consciousness surfaced from the land of dreams.
Eyes the colour of honey blinked open. Shyvana turned her head towards the monsters that had disturbed her. Her bleary vision took a moment to adjust. Her brain needed a little longer to catch on with what her blurry sight was perceiving.
A mangy two-headed wolf was growling a ruckus under a tree, either head alternating between snarling menacingly and snapping their jaws at their cornered prey while jumping as high as it was able to. The beast's teeth tore at the frilly pink skirt of the girl that hugged the tree trunk for dear life, yet the wolf wasn't capable of biting her for the time being. Never the less, the pink-haired stranger let out yelps of surprise and shouted 'Kyaaa!' every time the wolf's teeth closed around her ruined skirt, alarmingly close to her exposed panties.
Shyvana spotted a magical wand on the ground a few feet away from the wolf. The ends of the wand were shaped in the likeness of golden stars and were adorned with pink bows and flowing ribbons. A trampled bag filled with herbs was laying beside it, a good portion of its contents having been spilt on the ground. Most likely gathered items for a newbie quest that the stranger had received.
Wiping the sleep from her eyes, Shyvana stood up from the comfy grass and approached the hostile monster. The wolf completely ignored her, solely focused on the one that had aggravated it. The girl ignored her because she had her eyes closed and was begging 'Mr. Wolf' not to eat her.
The Half-Dragon administered a swift kick to the side of the wolf. The low Level monster rolled away stopping next to the girl's scattered belongings. It lied there, with twirling spirals on its eyes and comically extruding tongue for a moment, before exploding in a white cloud with a 'puff' sound. When the white smoke cleared, the monster was gone and a handful of copper coins were on the grass instead of its defeated body.
Shyvana turned to regard the shivering girl that was still uttering nonsense.
"Please, leave me alone Mister Wolf. This Lux is not tasty at all, she is all stardust and bones."
Shyvana quirked an eyebrow at the girl. "Mister Wolf is gone though..." She stated exasperated, only for the pink-haired girl to refuse to open her eyes and shake her head furiously.
"There is no way that this is true," She retorted in a quivering tone, "Mister Wolf is just trying to trick me. He wants poor Lux to climb down the tree so he can eat her in one bite!"
Shyvana stared at the girl in bewilderment despite only being able to look at the stranger's bottom due to their current position.
"I am telling you that the beast is gone." She repeated slowly, "This is a starter area, the monsters here lack the intelligence to use Common Speech, much less think of elaborate schemes to trick you..."
"That is exactly what Mister Wolf wants Lux to think! Well this Lux is smart, she will not be fooled by Mister Wolf's smooth feminine voice!"
Realizing that the girl wouldn't be persuaded to open her eyes and accept the truth, Shyvana decided to change her approach and take drastic measures. She had to shock the newbie out of it, she realized. A devious plan was constructed inside the stubborn dragoness' noggin, a plan of which even her flame-breathing ancestors would be proud of.
Shyvana reached out with one taloned hand and gently squeezed one of the girl's buttocks.
"Chomp" She intoned in a deadpan voice. The reaction was instant.
"Eeeek!" The girl yelped, bristling all over like a startled cat. Lux's limbs became a blur of motion as the girl climbed even higher with the agility of a Rogue Class, crawling upwards like a caterpillar while still hugging the tree. The girl stopped climbing about two and a half meters above the ground, trembling like a leaf on a windy night.
"Sniff, L-Lux was bitten i-in the bottom by Mister Wolf. His teeth touched a special place, now Lux cant be a bride."
"...What is wrong with this person?" Shyvana mumbled to herself, finally at a loss of words, completely stunned by the girl's reactions.
"Except... Sniff Sniff" The pink-haired airhead continued mumbling while clinging tightly to the tree, "What if Lux becomes Mister Wolf's bride? They will take long walks in the forest together, he will show her cute baby animals and Lux will tell him stories about the First Star!"
"She is mad..." Shyvana murmured while taking a step backwards, inching closer to her burlap sack. Meanwhile the girl on top of the tree continued chatting about her wedding with a low Level monster, the colour of the wedding invitations and how handsome the two-headed wolf would look in a tuxedo.
Shyvana had crouched down to retrieve her sack when the pinkette's voice reached her ears.
"Here I come, Mister Wolf!" The insane girl suddenly exclaimed, the statement causing Shyvana to turn around with a confused expression on her face.
"Huh?" Was the only thing that managed to leave the Half-Dragon's mouth before the weight of the falling Star Guardian slammed into her, forcing the two of them to the ground with Lux landing on top of her, their lips smashing together.
The girl's lips silenced Shyvana's groan when all the air was driven out of her lungs. The pinkette tentatively opened a single eye to inspect her surroundings. She saw Shyvana and both eyes snapped open wide and horrified. She partially lifted herself from the warrior and shoved the disoriented Shyvana back to the ground when the Half-Dragon attempted to get up.
"Who are you?!" The startled gir demanded while covering her lips with her hand as if to shield them from the advances of a known pervert. The Star Guardian's other hand taking a hold of the dazed warrior's clothes, shaking Shyv about. "Why are you stealing kisses from this betrothed Lux? Are you trying to make Mister Wolf jealous and threaten Lux's marriage?! Are you the legendary homewrecker?!"