Chapter 12 – Never the right moment

The circus manager, the stocky man acting as the vibrant ringmaster, grew suspicious when three of his best acts went wrong on the same night. He suspected some kind of foul play, and because the same man in the audience had been involved in the three incidents, he could only get to a logical conclusion.

"How much did he pay you for this?"

Cuchillo, Sonia and the juggler were at his caravan that night after the performances, receiving a severe bollocking. They looked at each other, but they didn't say anything.

"Are you insane? This is going to damage the circus reputation! Permanently! How could you do this? Why?"

"I don't know what you are talking about, man," Cuchillo said calmly, instead of saying what he really would like to say: because he paid us more for one night than what you pay us for a whole month, you selfish twat.

"Neither do I," Sonia said, thinking the same as the knife thrower. Except her fee had been higher than a month's salary, because she had risked serious injury or even death when she had let go of the trapeze.

"Nor me. Who paid what to whom?" said the juggler, hardly containing a chuckle.

"Do you think I was born yesterday? Wipe that smile off your face immediately! This is going to be a permanent blemish in our circus history. And you are to blame! If we suffer any loss of income because of this, I will discount that from your salaries!"

"Fine, but if we get more people coming in because of this, I want to have a pay rise instead. Never underestimate the people's thirst for danger, blood and gore," Cuchillo said.

"That's right," said the juggler. "I think the same, but I still don't know what are you talking about, so..."

"Well, as you are so reluctant to cooperate, I hope you three continue to deny any involvement with that man if anybody else gets suspicious. Get out of my sight now!"

The trio got out of the caravan. Outside they looked at each other for a moment, serious, and then burst out laughing.

"I'm going to bed now, guys. I'll see you in the morning," Sonia said.

"Yeah, me too. Buenas noches," Cuchillo said, walking off to his caravan as well.

"Hasta mañana," said the juggler.

ZZZ

Diego checked on Apollo for the last time that night before he would ride back to the hacienda on Esperanza. He gave him a bit more of the medicine and hoped that would keep him calmed while he was unsupervised for the night. In another circumstances Diego would have stayed the night at the tavern, checking on him at regular intervals, but all the rooms were taken during the festivities and he wanted to return to the hacienda to check on Esteban.

Doctor Hernández said the knife had cut through a large vein on his thigh, and that was the reason why Esteban was bleeding so much from that deep but otherwise clean wound that crossed his leg from side to side. He said Esteban was lucky the only blood vessel damaged was a vein and not an artery, or he could have bled to death instead. The doctor had managed to cauterize the bleeding blood vessel while Esteban was unconscious, and then they had taken him on a cart to the hacienda to rest.

The knife thrower and the circus manager had apologized to the De la Vega's effusively for the accident, probably fearing a lawsuit. However, because Esteban had volunteered for the task despite the risk of injury, no claim would stand in Court. Besides, Diego was sure Esteban had done it on purpose to impress Victoria, so no way he was going to complain about it to the circus because otherwise she could find out about his trickery.

It was late, and Diego was tired. It had been a very long day for him and he could not wait to retire to bed. He was generally sore because he had tensed all his muscles instead of relaxing them when he fell off Apollo, and nearly all his body ached now, including his head. Besides, that furious throw of the ball to vent his frustration had made no good whatsoever to his shoulder, quite the opposite. He stretched the right arm and rotated the shoulder slowly, forwards and backwards, massaging it at the same time with the other hand. Because of the swelling and the large haematoma covering that area, he suspected the collar bone could be dislocated, but he wasn't sure.

"Diego, what are you doing? Are you all right?"

He turned to find Victoria at the entrance, looking concerned.

"Yes. But my shoulder aches a little bit. I am trying to massage it, but it is difficult to do it properly with my left hand," he said with a shy smile.

"Should I give it a try? I could do that for you," she said, stepping in.

"Would you? It would be very nice of you, thank you."

"How is Apollo? Should I check on him later?"

"No, don't worry. I think he will be all right tonight because he's still quite sedated. I'll be back in the morning, if you don't mind."

"All right, let me see that shoulder then." She got on her tiptoes to reach it, but she could not do it comfortably. "You are too tall for me, Diego. Should we go inside the tavern? You can sit on a bench then. That would be easier. Besides, if we go there, I could use an ointment Zorro gave me once when I twisted my ankle. He told me it is very good to reduce the swelling on the joints."

"That would be great, thank you. After you," he said, following her out of the stable with a funny smile on his face. He was going to use that ointment at home, so he could as well have Victoria rubbed it on his shoulder right then instead. Actually, he had used a similar version of that ointment for Apollo's leg, but she hadn't noticed it.

Once at the tavern, Victoria walked upstairs to her room to get the ointment while he sat on a bench wondering if he should take his shirt off or not. He decided against it, because he didn't want Victoria looking at his muscles and the few scars Zorro had got during the last few years. However, if she questioned him about the scars, it could be a good opportunity to tell her his secret than night.

Before he could make up his mind she came back with the ointment. He desperately wanted to tell her the secret, but his heart was racing like every time he had seriously considered telling her because he didn't know how to say it. As so many times before, he decided it wasn't the right moment to reveal his secret identity. Besides, he believed a reveal could only work for him if Zorro unmasked as Diego and not the other way around. And it wasn't the right moment to let her know his feelings for her as Diego either, not after he had looked like a fool for the whole day thanks to his cousin. He had fallen off Apollo during the race, just like everybody said it was going to happen, including the alcalde; then he had to pretend he couldn't shoot or hit the target with a ball, so he couldn't win any prices for her; and then he didn't volunteer to be maimed in the name of love as Esteban had done to impress her. And he didn't stop the stray club heading for her face either. No, it wasn't the right moment to tell her anything. Nothing at all.

"Are you ready?" she said.

"Yes."

"Let me see that shoulder then."

He partially uncovered his right shoulder with the shirt still on, not showing any more flesh than it was necessary.

"Diego, my goodness, that looks so bruised! Have you seen the doctor?"

"No, I haven't. It's been a very long day, and he had been busy tending for Esteban tonight. I'll see him tomorrow."

Victoria spread the ointment on his shoulder, rubbing it gently in a circular motion. Diego closed his eyes, enjoying the warm, tingling sensation, which felt like heaven.

"How is your cousin? Is he going to be all right?"

"I think so. He is resting at the hacienda. He has lost a lot of blood, but doctor Hernández said he will be all right after a few days resting."

"That's wonderful news. I was so worried about him. I don't know why he volunteered for that, to be honest."

"Don't you?"

He could not see her face because she was behind him, but for the way she had stopped moving her hands, he knew it would be bright red with embarrassment.

"Well. I have an idea why, but… Never mind." She carried on massaging the shoulder then, increasing the pressure and the speed. When she touched the tender spot over the collar bone, Diego flinched. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry. Your shoulder is very tense, and I'm not very sure what I'm doing here. I don't want to make things worse."

"You are doing fine, don't worry. You are right: the whole area is quite tense and sore, but your massage feels really good and soothing. I'm sure that ointment is going to work wonders on the joint, so carry on, please."

"Then you'll have to thank Zorro for it."

"Yes, I will."

Come on, tell her! he told himself one more time, but the words didn't come to his mouth. They never did, because he always got nervous fearing her rejection and anger, and he always wasted the opportunities to let her know his secret. Instead of talking he closed his eyes again, enjoying the contact of her hands on his skin, and he got lost in the pleasant sensation while imagining totally different settings for them, in another place much more intimate than a tavern full of guests. He suddenly opened his eyes to go back to reality when he realized he was getting aroused and had let out a soft, longing moan inadvertently. He shifted on the bench and looked down at the inconvenient bulge in his trousers, embarrassed by it.

"That was lovely, Victoria, thanks. I feel much better now. If you carry on, I'm going to be so relaxed I may fall asleep on the bench," he said with a nervous, awkward laugh, which she copied.

"All right. Go home to rest then. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Victoria. Thank you for all your help." He got up, repositioning his shirt, and got outside quickly to get on Esperanza, who was tied to the rail outside. The verbena and the dancing had finished an hour ago, and the plaza was now empty. He mounted up the mare and headed to the hacienda in the dark, feeling like a complete fool.

ZZZ

Victoria closed the door behind Diego with a knowing smile on her face. After that awkward moan and the extra-tightness on his trousers, it was clear to her he had got aroused by the massage like an out-of-control teenage boy. Why could he not tell her he liked her? It had been the perfect opportunity for that, but he still didn't act on his feelings for her. But, did he really have feelings for her or it had only been his unreleased sexual tension overflowing? She had felt strangely aroused herself again while being so closed to him, in a similar way she had when he embraced her in the kitchen the day before. Despite his apparent lack of physical activity, tonight she had realized his body was well toned, and very muscular, something she had not really noticed before, maybe because she had not paid much attention. With the clothes he usually wore she thought Diego was just lean, and it had been a pleasant surprise to find out he had such a strong, toned shoulder under his shirt. She smiled again when she imagined what she could have found under the shirt if he had removed it completely.

Why can't you be more like your cousin? she thought. If Esteban had been in Diego's position tonight, he would probably had tried to kiss her senseless.

It had been such a long day, and her emotions had been so erratic through it. First, she had felt guilty when Diego had the accident, and very worried about him. Then Esteban had been courting her and she had been pleased by his gentle manners and the attention he gave her. And of course, she was impressed by all his manly skills, as opposed to Diego's.

She recalled then the gipsy's words: decisions to make. In less than two weeks, since Esteban's arrival, she had felt attracted to three different men at the same time, all for different reasons, because they were all so different.

Follow your heart, and not your head. What a predicament. If she should follow her head, she would not be an outlaw's girlfriend, but she would try to become a respectable woman with one of the two cousins instead. The easiest one to get right now would be Esteban, so eager to get her interested, but she didn't trust him completely for some reason. Today she had been really impressed by him, though: he had won the race and donated the money to the church, something completely unexpected, and then he had been showing off by getting prices for her at the stalls with his skills, acting like the perfect, attentive gentleman. Then he had become the hero of the night saving that poor girl from a certain death, and on top of that, he had reacted quickly to grab the juggler's club, preventing a nasty injury to her face. And all in one day! And then, of course, the knife. It was clear to her he had volunteer only to impress her, something even Diego had realized. Standing in front of a knife thrower risking life and limb was a foolish thing to do, and Esteban was either too stupid or too brave to do that, or a combination of both.

She was surprised about how jealous she had been of Sonia that night when she was drooling all over Esteban while Diego tried to stop the bleeding, to the point to nearly make her regret she was engaged to Zorro. She knew that if she didn't show any affection for him soon, he would probably get impatient and could start flirting with other available, single women in the pueblo, maybe finding someone more suitable to marry than a tavern wench. But she could not flirt with him while she was engaged to Zorro. Not that she really wanted either. Or did she? All in all, Esteban seemed like a wasted opportunity for marriage that she would let slip away while waiting for a dream that might never happen.

Zorro, where are you? Come now so I can forget about everyone else while you hold me in your arms.

She hadn't seen him for a few days, since he had called her fiancée, and she was getting increasingly upset about it. On that thought, she got back upstairs holding his ointment in her hand tightly. In her room, she undressed quickly and got on her nightgown to go to bed. Before she put the candle off, she looked at the couple of roses still on the vase at the bedside table, already drying up.

Decisions to make, and difficult ones... Holy crap. How did she know?

ZZZZZ