Villain by KD/A Teemo version.
Wide circular shots of a dimly lit mushroom forest made of smooth black stone. A close-up shot of a hissing white serpent. Wide shot of purple lighting arching across a tar-colored sky. Cue to Teemo's laughter fading in the background.
Medium tracking shot of Teeto strolling about in the unnerving mushroom forest. He is wearing a khaki hoodie with a golden 'T' shaped zipper to advertise his new clothing collection, black buggy pants and the white Kanye West glasses that are unsuitable for normal use as eyewear. Teemo's signature mane is also dyed a faint pinkish purple, same as his hair that is partially visible under his grey Valorant cap. Our KD/A idol lightly caresses a stone mushroom that is three times his height, then he stares at the camera, he grins and starts singing.
On top
Auto-pushing lane like a bot
Poking you all day, hard-fought
Teammates treating me like snot
Swift and rigorous
Slithering in bush, a carnivorous
If I'm gonna lose, jungle difference
(Sexy Teemo moan)
Close-up shot of Teemo's lips. Then wide shot of him sitting on the base of a giant black mushroom as thin rivulets of blood start leaking from its top, sliding downwards.
I'll tilt you for the entire game
Until, you set your screen aflame
Alternate between close-up shots of Teemo caressing the giant mushroom and close-ups of the blood sliding down and staining the floor. Include a frame of a grinning Teemo every three alternations or so and steadily increase the frames until Teemo can be seen clearly. Zoom in on Teemo's hoodie from a few angles to please our sponsors. As the beat picks up the stone mushrooms start cracking and leaking more blood.
Invisibru, unbeatabru, scout's in the lane undefeatabru
The f-king OG Larry Stu, sticking to your back like glue
Bide to your promos adieu, I'm fresher than refresher drenched in morning dew
The salt is going all up to your head, and you wish that I was dead
I'm a straight up poker, straight up poker
Imma make you a croaker, yeah a croaker
I'm a straight up poker, straight up poker
Imma make you a croaker, yeah a croaker
Teemo very pointedly leans down and starts licking the blood from a stone mushroom on a close-up shot. Zoom into the gaps between his useless Kanye West sunglasses to show his eyes opening, shining red light. (Reminder: Send mister West a basket of pineapples and tanning lotion to smooth out things between us after the music video is released.)
I'm alive, but I'm dead
And I'm playing from my bed
More annoying than Zed
Jhin wants to know my location
Zoom into Teeto's blazing red eyes and then zoom out to show him chilling on a fabulous red couch with his arm splayed around the shoulders of a smiling Seraphine while both of them are enjoying a goblet of warm Brackern blood.
They call me a rat
Throw insults at my back
They tell me that they wanna be my friends
Yet they ignore my pings and when I'm asking for assist
I'm tower-hugging and they shake their heads
Teemo suddenly gets up and throws his goblet at a window which shatters on the wall. As the shards fall down they turn into debris. Wide shot of Piltover burning as multiple TV monitors inside an electronics store show parts of Teeto's music video while a riot is taking place outside.
No pinks, no vision, no sweeper
I'm watching you from the bushes like a creeper
My hate runs deep and my poison runs deeper
So many skulls are in my freezer
Close-up shot of Teemo closing his fridge, but not before we show the abundance of Zaun's Chem-Cola inside it as was requested from us by our sponsors. We see Teemo handing a Chem-Cola to a shadowy figure and it is then revealed that it is KD/A Evelynn when she steps into the light to accept it. (Reminder: Tell the staff to get a few clear shots of Teemo and Evelynn together on set so we can spin a story on the tabloids about a secret romance blooming between them for RP.)
I'll tilt you for the entire game
Until, you set your screen aflame
Meh, we can reuse some footage from the mushroom forest to save some RP. Throw in a few seconds of Teemo licking blood too for a good measure.
Invisibru, unbeatabru, scout's in the lane undefeatabru
The f-king OG Larry Stu, sticking to your back like glue
Bide to your promos adieu, I'm fresher than refresher drenched in the morning dew
The salt is going all up to your head, and you wish that I was dead
I'm a straight up poker, straight up poker
Imma make you a croaker, yeah a croaker
I'm a straight up poker, straight up poker
Imma make you a croaker, yeah a croaker
Back in Piltover the Riots are getting out of hand, we watch as the city burns and follow the smoke as it rises up to the sky like our profits, but when the tallest towers of Piltover are out of the way the smoke turns into the flawless black leather of Teemo's new recyclable Char-cool synthetic leather jacket collection.
I'm alive, but I'm dead
And I'm playing from my bed
More annoying than Zed
Jhin wants to know my location
Teemo shrugs and squats down low, smirking in an ironic way as he touches the rim of the Valorant cap that he wore just to utilize it in this specific shot. As Teemo smirks the mushroom forest spreads behind him. (Reminder: Try to make the mushroom forest on the background look like wings sprouting out of Teemo's back for a few shots, kids love that.)
Shrooms, go boom
And Teeto goes brrr
No Darius, no Vayne
Listen to your mates go
Go stupid, go mad, go stupid and
Then they open lane, woah
Rage-quitting to main Swain
Their rank goes down the drain
The mushrooms grow taller and taller, rising like dark pillars, obscuring the sky and blocking the view until the screen goes dark. The audience is then treated to a close-up of one of those gargantuan mushrooms, rapidly tracking it for miles upon miles all the way to the ground, diving under the soil to reveal that the twisted roots which are covered in a scarlet liquid are actually tearing into the desecrated remains of an underground Brackern cemetery. (Do mushrooms even have roots? Reminder: Look it up on the web before the music video is realized so that if someone wants to be a smartass we can claim artistic license and send them packing. Damn parasites.)
Invisibru, unbeatabru, scout's in the lane undefeatabru
The f-king OG Larry Stu, sticking to your back like glue
Bide to your promos adieu, I'm fresher than refresher drenched in the morning dew
The salt is going all up to your head, and you wish that I was dead
I'm a straight up poker, straight up poker
Imma make you a croaker, yeah a croaker
I'm a straight up poker, straight up poker
Imma make you a croaker, yeah a croaker
Shaky tracking shots of the mushroom roots wriggling and moving underneath the soil. Then wrap up the music video with a close-up of Teemo's arrogant grin as he opens a cold Chem-Cola.
I'm alive, but I'm dead
And I'm playing from my bed
More annoying than Zed
Jhin wants to know my location
Aaaand cut! Perfect.