The week passed with surprising swiftness. Cloud found that he was able to use the technique a lot more than he expected. Sure, it was difficult at first- with the constant running around to chores and trainings, his mind was always busy. He started by noting the way his feet felt in his boots- putting them on and taking them off. It slowed the storm of thoughts he had in the mornings and evenings. He was getting better at remembering, and when he found himself panicking in battle…
I have to remember to breathe and…focus on something… Today, Cloud was fighting Zack. As always. Zack was quickly gaining the upper hand with the wooden sparring stick while Cloud clumsily deflected. He took a deep breath, still locked in battle, but he focused on the stick he was using.
It's warm from my constant grip, as I've had to fight a few rounds now with other people. The surface is rough, and despite my sweat, it smells of wood. Pleasant in a way.
He gripped the stick harder and more confidently blocked. Ignoring the negative thoughts. He noticed that when he paid attention to the current goings on, the voices seemed to get quieter. At least, somewhat. He blocked several times and went for a thrust to Zack's side. Then, he positioned his stick vertically, knocking Zack in the chest with the length of the stick. Zack easily dodged but paused.
"Nice one, Cloud! That's new!" Cloud beamed and tried for an overhead attack, only to get swept off his feet. He fell…again. He groaned but grinned. He was getting much more comfortable at showing weakness to Zack, who he had seen a lot more of lately. Not just in lessons, but sometimes during breakfast, where Zack would whisk him away and they would eat near the picnic spot reserved for Third-class soldiers (and their guests, Zack claimed). He found himself surprised that he hadn't seen Sephiroth all the much. It wasn't like he saw him before…cadets and generals had vastly different schedules but…he found himself hoping.
Zack offered a hand, once again.
"Cadet Strife, please report to Office 3B, stat." The intercom buzzed.
"How has it already been two hours?" Zack mused. "Anyway, doesn't this feel like déjà vu?"
Rising to his feet, Cloud sighed. "Yet I still don't know where that is. Can you show me again?"
Zack laughed. "I figured. Aright cadets. Today we're cooling down with…" He searched around, this time picking a cadet in the process of yawning.
"You! Great job today everyone. Can't wait for our next lesson." He winked, and Cloud saw the same cadets swoon.
Yup, definitely déjà vu. Cloud chuckled to himself.
"What?"
Nothing. Lead the way, Zack."
"You FINALLY called me by my name! Took you long enough!" Zack beamed, lightly punching Cloud's shoulder as they walked out.
…
"Erm, Zack?"
"Hmm?"
They had been walking in the hallways for quite some time now.
"I'm…nervous."
"I get it, Cloudy. Remember, it's just a sim, so nothing bad can really happen."
"I guess."
"And remember what Seph- I mean the General taught you. Contrary to what you thought, your results were great last time. You have natural talent, and he and I can see that. You-" He rested a finger on Cloud's chin and grinned.
"Need to believe in yourself"
"I-I guess." Cloud stammered. When they arrived, Cloud felt his heart pounding.
Zack viciously punched the red button.
"Shall I escort you?" Zack laughed.
"I've had enough shoving for today." Cloud glared and walked into the dark room. When the door squeaked shut, he took a deep breath and clenched his hands, reminding himself of the feel of his fingers.
Warm, and strong.
"Please identify yourself." The tinny voice stated.
"Cadet Cloud strife."
"Confirmed. Running program S3RP3N1…"
Cloud was still disoriented by the flash of bright light and nearly fell.
No. I can do this. I am ready. And he clenched his teeth to face his next target.
When Cloud looked up again, a giant serpent was snarling at him. It appeared Cloud was in a boggy swamp, the Buster Sword back in his hand.
It's funny how I can even smell the sim. Yikes! He mused.
The magnificent, scaly serpent ducked under the water, and Cloud dashed from the ripple forming several feet away from him. He jumped back, narrowly avoiding the sharp teeth of the great snake. Cloud didn't anticipate the serpent coiling its body around his form. As the serpent's hold tightened, he gasped.
This compression feels no different than anxiety he vaguely joked. The situation is getting dire. What's going to happen? I have to think fast, but... he felt his heart race. He thought back to Sephiroth and took a shaky breath, running his hands along the scales of the serpent.
It's cold and wet, slimy, yet smooth. He felt for the base of the scale and pried it off, causing the beast to roar and drop him and the sword promptly. Cloud grabbed the sword before it fully fell, raising it at his side.
I can do this. The serpent disappeared in the water again. This time, Cloud ran for land, waiting.
At the edge of the bog, he saw a massive yellow eye poking out of the water. He ran and threw the sword at the great eye, invoking a scream in the beast. Using the sword as leverage, Cloud jumped from the sword to its massive head. He yanked the sword out of the bleeding eye and thrust it into the serpent's other eye.
I don't know if I can kill this beast, but I should make sure it doesn't attack me again. Cloud thought, leaping from his spot to the grass.
The serpent screeched, blindly slamming its head on the nearby shore. Cloud dodged easily. He caught his breath as the serpent turned around, expecting it to swim back down. But the serpent's tail climbed the grass and maneuvered around, eventually finding Cloud's boot and grabbing the cadet, despite his dodging. It squeezed him even tighter, taking him into the depths of the bog, which was deceptively deep. Cloud thrashed wildly, determined to get out until…
Failure.
The voice was back.
What a witless fool. Thinking you had an idea of how to win. Have you ever won any other battles? How is this any different?
Cloud continued squirming out of the grip, failing miserably. Just quit now and leave SOLDIER, you failure.
No! Cloud protested.
You have no one to come back to, no one to support you. All because of who you are: a nobody from Niebelheim. You can't and will never win.
Cloud was losing oxygen fast, unable to reach the surface, his thoughts getting the better of him.
He stopped struggling.
That's right. Give up. You are nothing.
The voice swirled in the background of his sluggish thoughts.
A new voice registered; "Sim completed." Everything dissolved; he was no longer suspended in the serpent's grip, but he still felt like he was underwater. No oxygen, no room to breathe, the voice added, the notion speeding up his breathing to panicked gasps.
What a disappointment.
His vision faded and he was in darkness once again.