"He was doing much better than last time. He seemed to be in control of the situation. Except..."
"Was he struggling near the end of the sim?"
"Yes, like last time" Sephiroth sighed.
"Don't worry. Remember, I was the same way? And look at me now! I'm not limited by perfectionism or my own self-deprecation. All thanks to you and T-"
"Don't say his name. PLEASE."
"Fine. Thanks to the joint effort lessons. "Zack spoke, warily.
"Thanks, Zack."
"Sure. He's definitely gotten better in sparring practice, so keep up the good work, teach! See you and Cloudy later!"
"So that's what you call him," Sephiroth chuckled to himself as Zack departed the small room.
Cloud stirred, noting that his body was flooded with warmth. He cracked his eyes open to find he was in a military- issued blanket. He quickly discovered that he was in the same room he was last week. He looked to find a bandage on one wrist, a plastic clasp his index finger.
Great. Did I black out again?
The blue chair was already at his bedside and Cloud flushed, remembering its purpose, just as footsteps followed.
"Cloud?" Sephiroth sounded concerned. Cloud gave a weak salute from his position from his table. He was still feeling shaky from the battle.
"S-sir."
Cloud slowly lifted his gaze to meet the soft emerald irises of the general.
"Cloud. How do you feel?"
"F-fine, sir."
"You blacked out again."
"Apologies, sir."
"'Tis of no consequence. But…your vitals were somewhat worse than last time. You're malnourished and dehydrated, cadet. Please don't tell me my lessons got in the way of taking care of yourself?" Sephiroth grabbled Cloud's hand again, stroking his fingertips. Cloud flushed.
"N-no sir. That's…what it's like normally. I guess I forget to…"
"Take care of yourself?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, an admittedly cool expression.
"I s-suppose." Cloud looked down at his feet.
"Cloud there's no need for formalities. Again, I'm your teacher right now. I'll just let you call me Sephiroth so it's less intimidating. Is that alright?"
"Sure-sir-s-sephiroth'
Sephiroth smiled.
"You navigated that sim pretty well."
"You think so?" Cloud looked earnestly at Sephiroth, eager for approval.
"Your strategy was stellar, despite the new circumstance. Your swordsmanship skills are more advanced than last week, and you initially assessed the situation calmly." Sephiroth mused.
Cloud cringed at the "initial" part. He knew that implications of the word.
"Cloud, what's holding you back?" Sephiroth looked down at the Cadet with more concern than Cloud was used to, causing him to turn his head to the side.
"I'm…unsure? Gen- Sephiroth."
"Cloud, you can confide in me. I won't tell anyone else. Or at least confide in Zack if you're uncomfortable- "
Cloud scrunched his eyebrows together and took a deep breath.
The General should at least know why I'm underperforming.
Cloud snapped his eyes open and sat up.
"Well, sir- "
"Go ahead."
"I... suppose...I limit myself. Or a part of me limits myself. It feels like most days, when I fight, there's a part of me leering at the back of my mind, preying on personal hate. When it comes, I feel like I can't concentrate on anything else except…the voice. It tells me I can't do anything right. That I'm…" He paused for several minutes and gulped audibly.
"A disappointment. "He covered one baby-blue eye with his hand, fighting back tears.
I can't believe I confessed that to the General. He's probably never met anyone this weak. I'm a burden, I-
"Cloud, thank you for telling me. I… struggled with the same thing, for a while. I still do, sometimes. Like I'm my own worst enemy." Sephiroth fiddled with a long silver lock of hair, looking down at the floor.
"It's perfectionism- of ourselves. And that's not your fault, Cloud. SOLDIER practically breeds it into its recruits to perfectly excel at every task. But the thing is- no one is perfect, not even you. It will take time for you to grow, but Cloud-"He grasped Cloud's hands in his own, ignoring the implications and the flush that came to his cheeks-
"You are so skilled. You have an affinity for learning, combat, and planning. I've been lucky enough to witness that myself. Your skills will help many one day, but to help others, you must first believe in yourself."
They finally met each other's eyes, both streaked with tears.
"T-thank you. Sir." Cloud choked out. Wiping his face, blushing in embarrassment.
"O-of course, Cloud. Just know that with this training…it will get better. The thoughts, your life…all of it. Zack and I have and will cheer you on and support you, cadet."
"But why me?"
Sephiroth jerked his head back, realizing what had slipped out.
Because…of our affection for you, Cloud. Because of how much we can see ourselves in you. Sephiroth thought.
"Because… we reinforce the cadets with the most potential so they may succeed. You are one such cadet, Cloud."
Cloud looked slightly disappointed but nodded.
Are you sure it's not something…more than that? Cloud thought. A few stray tears streaked down his face. He heard a cough and looked up, to find Sephiroth blushing profusely while making a…hugging gesture?
"May I, Cloud?"
Cloud nearly leapt into his arms, heartache overtaking his rational mind.
It's wonderful to have someone to finally support me. To understand me. No one in Nibelheim did that except Tifa. But in this new environment, I never thought I would find anyone with an affinity for kindness. Just this once, it feels like I can get past these thoughts. With Sephiroth and Zack here, the voice doesn't have to overtake me. He thought, tears running freely down his face.
I don't care what I look like. Sephiroth knows the real me. Wait, Sephiroth? I mean, the general. Cloud thought, absently.
Sephiroth, on the other hand, flushed at how Cloud was practically in his lap, in his embrace. He shook the thought away and focused on stroking Cloud's back, gently. He learned muscle-soothing techniques from he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned-out-of-embarrassment and found that Cloud's tears slowly ebbed, and his limbs seemed to go slack, but his arms stayed, wrapped around Sephiroth's neck.
I never thought this would make me happy, but it's so nice to offer support to someone. T and Zack looked after me when Hojo abused me. They supported me, I supported them, and now I can help another struggling cadet. Who is…adorable? Is this love? Sephiroth finally admitted to himself.
They stayed in the position for what seemed like minutes, but by the time Zack came….
"Sephiroth, it's been hours! What's going- "Zack grumbled but stopped at the entranceway to the room besides. He found an intriguing scene that caused his face to flush in envy. Cloud was sleeping soundly, his arms draped over Sephiroth's soaked shoulders, sitting on the General's lap. His head was flush with Sephiroth's torso, with his ear to his chest. Sephiroth sat smiling, a serene expression on his face, as he stroked Cloud's back gently. Zack has never seen the General happier (except for when he was around, of course).
"Sephi!" Zack whispered. He knew he would get the General's attention, as it was his most loathed nickname. Sephiroth's eyes jolted up, a deep blush quickly forming.
"Er-Zack, I can explain."
"Yeah, later. It's time I take the cadet to the barracks." Zack's tone was chipped with subconscious jealousy.
"Thank you, Zack. I greatly appreciate it." Sephiroth gently lifted Cloud into Zack's arms. Zack, despite his envy, found the General's tranquil, happy disposition endearing, like a cat on catnip.
"Sure. But you better tell me about…this…tomorrow. Got it?"
Sephiroth absently nodded and turned to put items around the room in order.
Zack sighed and carried Cloud out the door, thrilling when Cloud sleepily reached up to wrap his arms around Zack's neck.
Sephiroth and I are going to have to talk about flirting and dating, huh? Zack noted to himself. Cloud snuggled his head closer to Zack's chest, and with that Zack forgot about the whole incident. Much too content on the cute cadet in his arms.
…
Cloud woke up to the loud screeching of a door and the gentle jostling from the thing that carried him. He slowly opened his eyes to find he was grasping someone, with his face pressed to their chest. He looked up just as Zack looked down, wide eyes meeting in an electrifying glance. Cloud quickly scrambled to stand up, and Zack let him down to the floor.
"Hey Cloudy! You're up!" Zack grinned. Cloud blushed and looked away.
"Erm…what happened? Where are we going?" Cloud looked around, disoriented and mildly groggy. The sudden motion, in addition to going from resting to standing in the span of a few seconds, sent his world spinning.
Zack caught Cloud before the wall did. "Woah there, careful. You were, uh, receiving additional training. With the General?"
Cloud looked up at the sour tone used in conjunction with the last word. "Um, did I do something wrong?" Cloud's memories were slowly coming back to him, but only up until the battle sim.
Zack cleared his throat. "Not exactly. Hey, I'm sure you're tired. Let's get you back to the barracks, alright? We've got a pretty punishing day tomorrow. Don't tell the other cadets, but I plan on taking us out into the field."
Cloud smiled. "I'll be asleep, so your plans are safe with me. You think we're ready?"
He knew that Zack was hiding more than he let on, but didn't prod further. Zack wasn't one to hide something important from him, right?
Zack nodded, grinning. "I know we're ready. Especially with you at the forefront."
They approached the doors, snores coming through in muffled baritones.
"Well, this is where we part ways. G'night Cloudy." Zack said, turning to Cloud.
"Same to you." He headed through the doors.
"Sweet dreams. And Cloud?"
Cloud turned. "Yeah?" He whisper-shouted.
"You're doing great."
Cloud smiled, then turned to his bed.
"Thanks."
Zack tried to ignore the flutter in his heart when Cloud had turned to him, boyish smile lighting up his eyes.
The walk to his own room was silent. Too silent.
His thoughts, the ones he had been trying to crowd out about Sephiroth, came hurdling towards him, occupying his headspace with buzzing envy like bees to a flower.
He laughed wryly to himself. Yep, Cloud was a flower alright. Innocent, beautiful. Too many others were swarming him, attracted to his innocent charm and sweet demeanor.
Seeing Sephiroth with Cloud…. that stung.
Not only because of Cloud and Sephiroth's interactions, but because Zack knew that compared to the General, he didn't have a chance.
He grumbled to himself as he passed someone, too caught up in his thoughts to notice.
Until the person reached out and grabbed him.
"You? Troubled? What's going on, Fair?"
Zack turned, at first weary, then, finding the black-gloved hand, grinned.
"Ah, I haven't seen you in a while. You miss your old flame?"
The voice chuckled dryly. "Hardly. Now, what's been happening with the General?"
Zack smirked conspiratorially. "Much."