Chapter 43 – Rejection

"You love her, don't you?" Esteban said while his cousin gave him a sad look with those helpless, puppy eyes.

After receiving that furious punch that apparently came out of nowhere, Esteban waited at least twenty minutes before he went to Diego's room to confront him. By then, he had calmed down enough to apologize for his violent outburst, and then the conversation had turned to the subject of the tavern owner.

"Wow. Jesus, I didn't know, I swear. Otherwise I would not have got involved. I had my suspicions, of course, but I thought that if you really felt something for her you would have acted on those feelings long ago. I know you would, the same as you did with Zafira. What I don't understand is why everybody around here is so mistaken, considering you such a hopeless case when it comes to women and love. But, does Victoria know? Did you ever tell her you love her?"

Diego shook his head slowly, directing his sad, puppy eyes to the ground in shame.

"Why you didn't say anything? I don't understand. I have seen the way she looks at you, and it is obvious for anybody with a good pair of eyes she has feelings for you; but I never thought you did, not beyond friendship, anyway, because otherwise you would have made a move by now, I know that. You were never the shy type."

Diego kept silent, still looking at the floor.

"Look, I'll back off for the moment. If she loves you, it will be permanent and I won't interfere, although my heart will be broken. But you must tell her. As soon as possible, because I can't wait for you to decide to man-up. It is bad enough to be wasting my life waiting for Zorro to do something. I don't need anybody else on that triangle, you know?"

"It's… complicated," Diego said with a long, defeated sigh.

"No, it's not. Come on, at your age you cannot be looking at the woman you love from afar, like a desperate, confused, shy teenager, or a solitary Knight from the 12th century, never making a move so your bubble doesn't burst. You cannot carry on like that. You should talk to her, get her impressed and interested, or move on. This is not healthy."

"How can I get her impressed or interested?"

"I don't know! Let's see… Use your poetry, and flowers, and seize the moment, and..."

"I can't impress her with poetry. She likes action men. Like Zorro." Or you, goddammit, he thought, extremely irritated with the situation, with his uncontrollable rage rising to dangerous levels again.

"Yes, there is that... But I have noticed how she looks at you sometimes. She likes you, sure, but maybe she doesn't know how much yet, and you have to spark that interest."

"She likes me? Do you really think so? As much as she likes Zorro?"

"Well… I don't know about that. The only thing I know is that I do like her as well, a lot. I loved her from the moment I saw her, I told you that before, and if you don't move your arse and go to the tavern right now to talk to her, I won't be waiting forever until you make your move, all right? And I don't care what Zorro may think either. Victoria will be better off with me, or with you, and she knows that. And so does Zorro."

"Right. You are right. I have to talk to her. I have been procrastinating for too long," Diego said while walking towards the door with determination on his face.

"There you go!" Esteban said, slapping his cousin's back when he walked by. "Go get her, tiger! And let me know what she says. Either way will be fine for me, because if I must give her up I prefer she falls for you rather than carrying on with Zorro, who can't make an honest woman out of her."

ZZZ

Diego got out to the garden to get some roses for Victoria. Now Autumn, the full bloom days of the summer were long gone, but the rose bushes still had some beautiful flowers on display, as the growing season was so long in California. When Diego approached the bushes, heedless, he pulled from the strings and activated the little bells. Irritated by them, he cut through the whole rig, destroying it, shaking the bushes and the bells like a mad man, pricking his fingers with the thorns while fighting with the strings. After that outburst, he had only cut three roses for the small bouquet when Don Alejandro showed up at the garden, alarmed by all that noise.

"Diego! What are you doing with my roses? Well, what a relief is you; I thought it would be that shameless Zorro taking them again, not you."

"No, not that brazen Zorro. Only your inept son this time. Sorry to disappoint you," Diego said while he carried on cutting stems quickly, not lifting his eyes to look at his father.

"Disappoint me? If a woman you are courting deserves the bouquet you are making, I can only be happy, Son. Can I know the name of the fortunate lady?"

"No," Diego spat. As he had enough roses already, he looked at his father then and continued, sharply: "It is none of your business."

Diego walked past his elder, who was too shocked by his rude manners to react on time, and he only did when his son was already a few steps away from him.

"Diego! Wait!"

"Not now, Father!" Diego said while lifting his left hand as a warning, with his back to Don Alejandro on his way to the stables.

Something in his body language told the old don it would be better letting go for once in his life and not confronting his son at that challenging time.

"Good luck then," he muttered, shaking his head, suspecting the lady about to receive the roses could be no other than… Victoria. He sighed deeply then, doubly worried: not only he had to watch for his nephew not getting in trouble with Zorro, now he'll have to deal with Diego's safety as well.

ZZZ

Diego entered the tavern in the evening and scanned the room quickly. Victoria wasn't there serving tables. He hesitated at the entrance for a moment, and then he approached the counter while nervously twisting the red roses' bouquet in his sweaty hands.

"Good afternoon, Don Diego," Pilar said. "You look lost. Can I help you?"

"Yes. Can you tell me where Victoria is? Is she at the back?"

"Yes, she is in the kitchen." Pilar eyed the beautiful flowers then. "I'll make sure you are not disturbed," she said winking playfully. "Would you like a glass of brandy before you get there?"

"Thank you, Pilar. That could be a good idea under the circumstances, yes."

She served him the drink and he gulped it down, gagging with the strong taste, making her laugh heartedly with his grimace of disgust and the way he spat some of it while coughing.

"Too strong?"

Diego lowered his head and shook it slowly while waving his hand, like dismissing that idea, but it took him a few seconds before he could mutter a word.

"No. Perfect!"

He walked the short distance to the kitchen feeling the eyes of the few customers present looking at his back. He cursed himself for being so nervous, and with a shaky hand he moved the curtain and stepped inside, hoping he could feel the soothing effects of the liquor soon.

Victoria was busy, struggling to carry a heavy crate full of wine bottles, and she didn't notice him immediately. Diego left the bouquet on a table and hurried to help her.

"Let me help you with that," he said, taking the crate from her hands as if it was a light feather. "Where do you want it?"

"There, under that shelf, please."

Diego left the crate on that spot and turned to face Victoria, smiling nervously.

"That's fine. Thank you, Diego," she said, wiping her sweaty brow with the back of her hand. She sighed, looking tired, and smiled back at him. "How nice to see you here. Can I help you with something?"

"No. Well, yes. There is one thing… I… that… ah…" Damn it! It's not so difficult, you fool! he cursed himself again.

"What?" she said, laughing at his troubled expression. Then she spotted the roses on the table. "Are those for me?"

"Yes. Yes, they are," he said, hurrying to fetch the bouquet to place it in her hands.

"Oh, thank you, Diego. They are beautiful."

She waited for his next words with a raised eyebrow. That unexpected gift could only mean one thing, and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it right now. Not when she was falling for his cousin; neither when she felt she was cheating on Zorro already.

Diego was looking at her intently, but he wasn't saying anything. In the end, she felt so uncomfortable she had to break the silence.

"Diego, I… ah…"

"Victoria, I love you," he finally said, rushing his words. "There, I said it: I love you. I have always loved you, since we were kids, and it was time I'd let you know."

Victoria opened her mouth to say something, twice, but she didn't know what words she should use to avoid hurting him.

"I have noticed you have been drifting apart from Zorro recently, haven't you? So I thought this rough patch between you two could be my only chance, because I don't think I can compete with him for your love otherwise. Is there any chance that you could love me back? Any chance at all?"

She continued to look at him, speechless, opening her mouth like a fish out of water another couple of times, without uttering a single word.

"Please, say something. Anything," he begged, touching the hands that held the bouquet tightly under whitened knuckles.

"Diego, I… I don't know what to say. On the one hand, I am flattered you consider me worthy of your love. And I do love you, but as a dear friend, almost like a brother. However, I don't think I can love you the same way I love Zorro." Or the way I loved him before, anyway, she thought, annoyed to know anybody had really noticed her change of heart towards the masked hero, despite all the outrageous rumours. But the flirtation with Esteban had been too obvious recently, so it wasn't a total surprise people had been talking. Even if the rumours were not true to begin with.

"Oh, Diego, why can't you be more like your cousin?" she said, thinking out loud, regretting it immediately.

"Like Esteban?"

She nodded, embarrassed by her lapse. "Yes, like Esteban. Who else?"

"What do you mean more like him? Younger… handsomer…? Maybe reckless… or with a deplorable history of seducing vulnerable women… or what?" he said, visibly annoyed.

Victoria blushed at these words. She had heard the gossip about Esteban's antics at Madrid, and that was one of her fears, that he would not commit totally and would only use her. But after his behaviour during Lucía's fiasco, she had to trust his womanizing ways were over.

"I was thinking…braver, maybe?" she said, tentatively, but Diego looked really hurt by that word, almost offended. "For goodness sake, Diego, don't look so shocked! For example, it had only taken you twenty years to say three words! Even a spineless chicken would have said "I love you" sooner if he really meant it!"

"I would have, if Zorro didn't exist."

"Why? Are you afraid of him? Do you think he would take revenge if you sweep me off my feet?"

"Yes. Something like that."

"Don't be ridiculous. He's not that kind of man. Besides, I am no-one's property, at least not until the right man puts a ring on my finger and I get married."

"He put a ring on your finger," he said then slowly, looking tired and defeated.

She instinctively reached for the ring hanging from her neck chain, hidden under her blouse, close to her heart.

"How do you know that?"

"I… just know. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, because it was a secret. How do you know about the ring?" she said with a wild suspicion forming in her mind, a suspicion that Diego could also fathom by the way she was looking at him. He hesitated then for a moment, thinking hard until he found a way out of his blunder.

"If you must know, you cried on my shoulder after Zorro called you fiancée, so I assume he gave you a ring of some sort on that occasion."

"That's right! I had forgotten about that, sorry."

Diego didn't like how relieved she seemed rejecting the outrageous idea that he could be Zorro. He carried on talking then, not wanting to dwell on that thought.

"So, you cannot love me because I'm not impulsive and brave like my cousin, is that it?"

"It's not just that. I mean, it's not so simple. You have different qualities, you and your cousin, and as I said, I do love you, but with a different kind of love. I love Zorro, and yes, I really like your cousin, and if Zorro didn't exist I could have been more interested in him."

"So, you are definitely interested in Esteban. He'll be glad to know."

"No, I didn't say that. Don't twist my words. I told you I'm in love with Zorro."

I hope so, he wished, closing his eyes.

"And I hope this little mishap between us doesn't mean I will lose you as a friend."

"Never. Don't worry about that," he said firmly, opening his eyes to stare back at her.

"Good. Come here." She opened her arms to embrace him, inviting him to them, and he fell in, helpless.

"I am sorry I cannot be more for you than a friend," she said when they parted, spilling a lonely tear.

"It's all right, Victoria. I can live with that." Just.

ZZZZZ