After popping the medication in his mouth, Cloud took up residence on the two-seater couch. It was plush for office furniture, with a calming drab azure exterior. Cloud found the couch quite comfortable, and rested his back against a cushion, relaxing while no one was around, propping his arm on the left armrest.
This couch is nice- maybe even softer than a barrack bed. This feels like a luxury. Once settled, Cloud felt his eyelids droop, and he rested his head on his elbow. The pure silence was a welcome sound.
For once, I don't hear that voice. Maybe because I'm so tired. Cloud looked one last time at the door and the clock. Ten minutes had passed.
I don't think the General will be here anytime soon. I'm sure I'll wake up when he opens the door… He shut his eyes and drifted to sleep.
The serpent was glaring at him once again, roaring ferociously. Cloud looked around and found his sword at his side. He went to swing at the beast when he heard…
"How dare you, Cloud!"
He looked back to find himself. Except, this variant was more muscular, with cat-like emerald eyes and sharp teeth. It leered at him.
"That's not your sword. This is not your fight! Go back to Niebelheim and wallow in shame!" He roared and moved to attack Cloud from behind. Cloud dodged, only to fall close to the depths of the bog. The serpent grasped Cloud's left leg in its fang and dragged him underwater. Cloud stabbed one eye with his sword and swam to the surface. There, he saw a hand reaching out of the water, flailing. The black glove looked like it belonged to Zack, and it appeared a black lock of hair was slipping under the waves. Cloud swam quickly to retrieve it, only for it to drag him under. What he found wasn't Zack, but the darker version of himself with a wicked smile on his face.
"Only a fool would fall for a trick like that, Cloud! So vulnerable, so idiotic. You'll never be able to save anyone!" Even though they were underwater, Cloud felt he could hear his counterpart clearly.
Cloud swam to get the shadow of himself anyway, only to be seized by the serpent's tail. The serpent swam down to the depths of the bog, where Cloud found the unconscious forms of Sephiroth, Zack, and Tifa. He screamed and tried to pull himself out, only to be squeezed harder and harder until….
Cloud's eyes flew open as he gasped for air. He looked about fervently for Zack, Sephiroth, or Tifa, but found he was no longer in the bog.
…
"Rough dream, eh?" A well-dressed man mused from his position near the desk. Cloud's gaze met espresso irises, and he had to resist the urge to look away from his penetrating stare. The man was in a crisp black suit, hair in a neat high ponytail. He shut his laptop and arose, nimbly walking over to Cloud. Cloud stood up in a salute, unsure of the man's military rank.
Clearly someone important if they're allowed in the General's quarters. Cloud thought.
"At ease. I don't have a military rank. I'm more of…secretly employed. You can call me Tseng." The man chuckled and offered a gloved hand.
"Cadet Cloud Strife, Sir." Cloud nodded and shook the man's hand.
"Well Cloud, I'll be your teacher today." Tseng smiled and motioned Cloud to the other room. Cloud nervously gulped and mounted the table, back to the wall, sitting with his back straight. Tseng took Sephiroth's chair.
"Don't worry, I have plenty of experience. You see, I'm the one who taught Sephiroth what he's teaching you now, as much as he fails to admit it. Oh, and Zack Fair."
So that's who they keep bringing up. I wonder why Sephiroth is so hesitant to name this man?
"Mr. Tseng, sir, do you offer similar training to all upper-level SOLDIERS?" Cloud wondered.
"Just Tseng is fine, Cloud. I don't teach every SOLDIER. So far, I've only taught ones that have fallen on Rufus Shinra's radar" Tseng smiled.
"You, Sephiroth, and Zack are quite similar. You all have great potential but are psychologically held back by one thing or another."
Cloud looked down, self-conscious.
"That wasn't an affront to you, Cloud. The, ah, SOLDIER environment isn't the most wholesome. And when you fail to attend to your physical and mental health…everyday activities can be difficult. Especially other training. With you, Sephiroth hopes to increase your ability to focus and be confident in your skills. It's quite difficult to focus with intrusive thoughts present, isn't it?" Tseng explained.
Cloud looked at him blankly.
"The self-degrading voice in your head? Unless it's not- "
"No, that's just it, sir! Uh-Tseng!" Cloud gasped.
"Right. So, we're teaching you ways to get past such thoughts and productively lead your life."
"I see. Do…you have experience with it?" Cloud murmured.
"Certainly. The thoughts come and go- depending on circumstances and even seasons. I was struggling to complete everyday tasks and have some semblance of order in my life. It felt like a dark part of my subconscious was always shaming me, cursing me, telling me that I would never amount to anything. That I was a failure or didn't deserve things." Tseng explained.
"How'd you get past it?"
"Well, I got hired by Rufus ShinRa in my twenties and given a purpose. He saw that I was struggling and got me some professional help. Not everyone in ShinRa is as corrupt as Heidegger, you know. There are some brilliant and kind people there, and a few really helped me in my darkest times. And now, I want to give back and help others who are suffering like I was."
"Oh. Thanks for telling me."
"I'm happy to share anything you need to know, and you're welcome to confide in me. I vow on my rank as a Turk that I will never tell a soul anything you tell me. Well, are you ready for today's lesson?"
"Sure Mr.- I mean Tseng."
"It's much easier to acknowledge and let go of intrusive thoughts when you are calm. So, I wanted to teach you an exercise that you can employ when you feel especially overwhelmed. Let's start by taking some deep breaths…" Tseng began, and they started the exercise akin to the way Sephiroth began additional training, so many weeks ago.
"Now imagine fluid, clear, cool water flowing into your body. As it flows down, it releases tension, starting with your feet…. traveling up to your knees…." Tseng instructed gently. He progressed slowly, his smooth, deep voice set Cloud at ease as they continued.
"Letting go of tension in your back…resting your shoulders… face…ending at the top of the head. Now that the entire body has let go of tension, just be present with your breathing."
They sat in comfortable silence. Cloud was now slightly slouched against the wall, relieved of anxiety. A few minutes passed, then…
"Now come back to the sensations of the body pressing the chair, and the sounds around us. And when you're ready, you can open your eyes." Tseng murmured, softly.
"How was that for you?" Tseng added after his eyes flickered open.
"It was…nice. I haven't felt that sort of…peace in a long time. Like, my mind finally shut up. I was finally able to think more sensibly. I'm sure it will help when my headspace is chaotic." Cloud smiled.
"If you can- try not to respond to intrusive thoughts. You don't need to give them an answer or any satisfaction. Just sit with them until they pass and try to remain calm. Easier said than done, I know. You can also write them down and dispose of the paper. Thoughts are intangible and brief- yet some have more influence than others."
"Really? I thought that if I responded, the thoughts would go away. But that helps a lot. Thanks Tseng!"
"Happy to be of assistance, Mr. Strife. If you would like another lesson, just call me with your comm device. I added my contact while you were out."
"That would be great-" Cloud began.
A loud knock interrupted the two.
"Hey, Turk! Let me in or I'll…." Zack grunted.
Tseng crept to the door, slowly opening it.
"Or you'll what, damage your liaison's home?" Tseng grinned. Zack glared and grabbed Tseng by the lapels.
"We're going to talk after I bring Cloud back, got it?"
"Luckily for you, there aren't any parties for me to attend to tonight, so I'm all yours." Tseng batted his eyelashes playfully and brushed Zack's fists away. He turned to Cloud.
"Cloud, it was wonderful to meet you. I hope I can teach you in the future." He offered a hand to Cloud. As Cloud got up and shook it, Tseng whispered, "You have a very promising future, Cloud. Keep up the good work. And don't forget to take care of yourself once in a while."
Tseng pulled away and plastered a pleasant, cat-like smile. Cloud shivered and looked down at the carpet, blushing.
"Alright, Cloud. We're leaving!" Zack practically growled, storming out of the apartment.
"Au revoir, mon chere!" Tseng purred.
…
"Erm…Zack?"
"Yeah?"
"Was that guy-I mean-Tseng- mean to you in the past or something? Not to be rude, but I've never seen you this mad."
Is it really that obvious? Zack took a breath, unclenched his fists, and slowed his pace.
"Uh…no. He just…. makes me uneasy, is all."
"Really? He told me he was your teacher too! Was he not very good back then?" Cloud looked up innocently.
It's not like I can tell Cloud, "No, I'm pissed because he was flirting with my crush" or "I'm angry because he got to spend more time with you, up close". In the end, I can't do much. Zack sighed.
"No, he was great. Really helped me to become the SOLDIER I am today. Forget it, Cloud. I'm glad it went well." Zack offered his best smile.
I'm going to grill Tseng as soon as I get back. Just you wait, Tseng. Zack resolved as he led Cloud to the mess hall.
…
On the way back to Sephiroth's apartment, Zack felt his comm buzz. He picked it up and grumbled.
"Yeah? Who is it?"
"Hello, Zack Fair. My deepest apologies, but I relocated to building 4A, apartment 5C. I don't feel very comfortable being interrogated somewhere other than my guest apartment. Besides, I'm sure Sephiroth wouldn't be fond of cleaning up whatever mess you make in a fit of jealousy. I'll tell you all you want to hear when you finally get here."
Zack suppressed a furious snarl and glared at his comm, picking up his pace to run to the building.
…
When Zack arrived, Tseng was calmly sipping tea at a low table. The apartment had an inviting atmosphere, with plush sea-green furnishings and lights emitting a soft orange glow about the cream-colored walls. Zack was temporarily dazed.
How could any SOLDIER quarters be this…fancy?
"Good evening, Fair. How long do you plan on gawking? You're certainly welcome to come and sit. If you would be so kind as to don those house slippers instead of your boots? I'd rather not have any monster blood on the floors." Tseng smiled, invitingly.
Zack snapped back to attention, muttering while he traded his boots for soft house slippers. He shuffled over to one of the armchairs, then saw Tseng's positioning.
He's on a couch for two, so maybe I can scare him into answering more questions if I stare him down. He grinned and quickly shifted to sit right next to Tseng on the aquamarine-colored couch.
Tseng chuckled softly. "So that's how you're going to play it, Fair? Challenge. Accepted." A bemused smirk cut through his composed features.
Tseng positioned his elbow to rest on the couch's armrest, supporting his chin with the palm of his hand, the other arm casually resting on the back of the couch. He crossed his legs and met Zack's eyes with an intensity Zack wasn't accustomed to. Zack and close colleagues liked to deem it his, "Feline smolder" look. Refined after years of courting a certain fastidious ShinRa heir.
"So, Zack, how can I help you tonight?"
Not used to such intense, amorous eye contact, Zack shifted slightly away from Tseng, regretting his decision. He still maintained eye contact with Tseng but subconsciously fiddled with his gloves.
"I thought you had a boyfriend, Tseng." Zack spat.
"What makes you say that?"
"You were obviously flirting with Cloud. I wonder what would happen if Rufus found out."
"From a third-class SOLDIER? He'd hardly believe it."
"Doesn't it mess with your conscience to flirt with an 18-year-old, who's not your boyfriend, Tseng?"
"What conscience? Last time I checked, it was signed away when I joined ShinRa. What would you do if I were to steal Cloud away? If I were to make him a Turk, if you will."
Zack gritted his teeth. "I'm pretty sure I overheard Cloud declining to such a position. And how dare you do so without even asking him!"
"It seems the General has no problem with whisking Cloud away at his whims. How is this any different?"
Zack furrowed his brow and looked down. "Well…the General has more privileges than the both of us and you know it. A third-class SOLDIER hardly even has the ability to leave campus, much less summon cadets. And I don't understand why you're interested. The Turks are so far away from SOLDIER grounds. The trip wouldn't be worth it, especially for someone as easily irritated by long commutes as you."
"Ouch, Fair. Do you hold such low regard for me?" At Tseng's wounded tone, Zack looked up and nearly bumped his forehead against Tseng's chin. He recoiled, but Tseng retained his position, leaning in to cup Zack's chin.
"Perhaps I can change your perspective. May I?" Tseng prompted gently, voice just above a whisper.
"As long as you don't attack me, Turk." Zack counted, simultaneously blushing and scowling.
"I wouldn't dream of it."
Tseng gently held Zack's jaw in his hand, stroking Zack's cheek with his fingertips. His face mirrored the tenderness of his touch, sharp features softened and gaze gentle. Zack shuddered at the light touch, eyelashes fluttering closed to track the path of Tseng's fingers on his warming cheeks.
"S-sure."
"Zack, I've found you to be an excellent teacher and mentor, lively in every way. However, upon my recent interactions, you seem quite down. Care to discuss why?"
Zack sighed and turned away slightly, muttering, "it's a long story- well, more like a petty affair."
One that could have me lose my position, if I'm not careful, Zack thought, slouching his shoulders in exhaustion and defeat.
Tseng slightly furrowed his eyebrows, light concern apparent on his face. Unmoving, Tseng assured, "Lie down if you must. You seem quite beat Fair."
"Thanks, but I-" Zack started but was interrupted by Tseng suddenly, yet gently dragging Zack's upper torso to rest on top of that fancy ShinRa suit, his head cradled in Tseng's leather gloves and lap.
"Wha-?" Zack gasped, caught completely unaware for once.
"We used to do this in your training, remember? So you can relax and know I'm here. But we can situate otherwise if you're uncomfortable." Tseng reasoned, nonchalance clear in his voice.
"I-it's fine. I just…forgot is all" Zack spluttered, squirming slightly in the careful embrace.
Tseng resisted the urge to chuckle at a flustered Zack, and spoke lightly, "I'm ready to hear your side of the narrative when you feel so inclined. I'm not in any rush."
"Wow, the leader of the Turks, not busy? Not in a rush to see Rufus?" Zack chuckled.
"You humor yourself, Fair" Tseng sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to hide the slight flush coming to his cheeks.
"All jokes aside…" Zack took a deep breath and began, bypassing Tseng's intense eye contact (the ultimate weapon!), and stared blankly at the tiled ceiling.
"Well… I guess my position has been fine. Busy but good. I'm just…distracted"
Tseng began to gently stroke Zack's spikey tufts with his fingertips, causing Zack to sigh and let his eyelids droop.
Forever Zack the puppy, as usual, Tseng internally chuckled to himself.
"Distractions in the SOLDIER workplace aren't always bad things. Sometimes, it can bring to light an unmet need" Tseng said in a low, subdued tone.
"In my case, it's something I need to forget. Something I have no chance of, or with," Zack lamented, brows furrowed.
"Is it of your doing, or by external circumstances?"
"I guess it's me…well…"
"I see. So this thing or person, is causing you to feel like you are the problem?" Tseng continued, stroking Zack's silky locks tenderly.
"How'd you guess?" Zack's bitter tone was blatant.
"Often the case is that we internalize and self-loathe when we cannot control circumstances, and it sounds like the case here" Tseng explained unhurriedly.
"Yep- Cloudy is just out of reach...I mean, uh-" Zack quickly corrected, eyes flying open, jolting upright. Luckily, a concussion was avoided with Turk Specialty Dodging ™.
"You needn't discuss further if you're uncomfortable, Fair. Just know, I'll keep any information you tell me confidential. Yes, I won't even tell Sephiroth. After all, I still serve as your teacher if the need arises" Tseng assured, caressing those spiky locks from behind, relaxing an agitated Zack.
"It's…fine" Zack said, subdued from the soothing touch.
"A final question…" Tseng stopped and turned Zack to face him, once again cupping Zack's chin with his gloved hand, stroking the soldier's fine jawline.
"Who is the person who makes you the happiest when you're around them? The person you'd do anything for? To make them smile in return?" Tseng murmured softly.
It was difficult to focus on Tseng's quiet voice, his tender touch taking precedence over coherent observation. Zack's mind vaguely wondered if Tseng was equipping an interrogation tactic. Pretty easy to get information out of a suspect who's been rendered into putty by a very attractive man.
"…Cloud. But…" Zack mumbled.
"I see. Well, it's clear I'm finished here. I've found all I needed to know." Tseng's expression snapped back to his cool, professional demeanor. He got up and took residence in a chair directly across from Zack.
"What do you mean you're done? What the hell was all that for?" Zack blustered, falling back into the couch.
"You fascinate me, Zack. You've done so well with your training with me, yet you still hold yourself back." Tseng said calmly, resting his chin in the crook between his thumb and index finger as though inspecting the results of a report. Or regarding a test subject of Hojo's that could be weaponized. Zack shifted uncomfortably and broke eye contact.
"What do you mean?" He suddenly found his gloves to be very interesting.
"It's clear that you love that boy. Rather deeply, in fact. Certainly, more than a superficial fling."
"Which I know you're experienced in." Zack smirked.
Tseng rolled his eyes but continued. "When Cloud is around certain people, you get subtly jealous. Yet, you don't think you're good enough- that Sephiroth is better for Cloud than you are."
Zack looked down. "So what? It's true."
Tseng stood and neared Zack, bringing his hand to gently hover below Zack's jaw. Zack nodded. Tseng cupped Zack's chin in his hand, tilting it up.
"Sephiroth has just as much of a chance of dating Cloud as you do. And Cloud has the right to decline both of your affections. You're allowed to try to attract Cloud's regards as much as you wish, even more so than the General. But ultimately, in a healthy relationship, Cloud will choose who he loves. He is not property for you, the General, or anyone else to fight for."
Zack's expression softened and he sighed. "I hadn't considered that. I just thought the General can take what he wants."
"Understandable, given his position. However, it is not true. Additionally, I talked with Cloud and- "
"Let me guess- you're pining for him too, huh?" Zack glared. Tseng stroked Zack's cheek with his thumb teasingly.
"Absolutely not. I am his teacher and his confidant, and that's the only thing I want to be."
Zack looked up at him apprehensively. "You were pretty flirtatious for a mere teacher."
Tseng smirked. "How else was I to provoke you into revealing your feelings on the matter of Cloud Strife? Besides, my heart belongs to another. Even if it will never be received." Tseng looked away with a half-smile on his face, dropping his hand from Zack's face.
Zack glared but smirked. "I guess I shoulda expected it from a Turk. But the great seducer, Tseng, giving up? Am I still in reality?"
Tseng blushed and sat back down in his position across from Zack.
"I suppose you have a point, Fair. As for more important matters, I talked with Cloud. He's going to work on becoming more independent. He wants a chance to use his skills, to live his life autonomously without being codependent on others. That's not to say he won't get support when he needs it. He just needs time to grow without too much interference. Because of that, I am unsure if now is the right time for a relationship with him."
Zack nodded slowly, his smile faltering. "All right. I- I can do that. I can give him space."
"He still wants to spend time with you, Zack. But he also wants to spend time with the other cadets and learn how to live his life on his own. Other than training, how about you arrange to meet with him once a week, since Sephiroth or I will be with him for training once a week?"
"Yeah, that sounds manageable!" Zack perked up.
"Good. And to answer your previous question, I was just trying to pry information out of you the way I know is most effective on you." Tseng gave a cat-like grin and winked.
"Again, what the hell? I know Sephiroth was interested in you at some point, but I certainly am not. That was the weirdest experience ever. Wait…are you trying to teach me how to flirt with Cloud?"
"Whatever gave you that idea?" Tseng asked calmly, barely suppressing a smirk.
"It was great to see you again, Fair. I'm quite proud of how far you've come. Now that you have my comm contact, you'll have to catch me up on your adventures once in a while. Working as a Turk isn't as fun as you'd think. But there are certainly very…entertaining moments."
"It's 'cuz I had a great teacher." Zack blushed. "And we can catch up as long as you don't try to flirt-interrogate me again. Got it?"
Tseng stood and offered his hand. Zack took it.
"I promise, Zack Fair. Now go. You wouldn't want to miss your crush now, would you?"
Zack blushed and dashed to the door.
"And Zack?"
Zack turned to Tseng, who's eyebrow was raised in apprehension.
"Respect boundaries, but…good luck, Cassanova." Tseng winked.
"Thanks, Tseng."
Zack dashed into the night, heat rushing to his face. Geez, who knew my Sensei would be my wingman?