Chapter 45 – Confinement
Still up in the roof, with his emotions running so high he felt dizzy, Zorro could not think straight while he held onto his ring. In desperation, he felt tempted to go back to unmask and let Victoria see his face, but was there any point in doing that? If she didn't look impressed by Diego's declaration of love that afternoon, why would she care about him now? Besides, the whole point of keeping the secrecy for such a long time was his will and determination to keep her safe. It would be extremely selfish to let her know his secret identity now, in the slight hope that she would reconsider a life with him instead of having a much easier one with Esteban. Besides, she would be so angry with him, so extremely cross with all the lies, that knowing his secret would only jeopardize their friendship. She would hate him so much for all the deception that she would probably kick him out of her life for ever. And the friendship-zone was better than the nothing-zone.
Utterly depressed, he headed for the doctor's house instead of calling Toronado. He hesitated at the door, because the doctor was adamant he shouldn't take any more coca leaves, but he was desperate for a quick boost for his sombre mood.
He didn't knock. Instead, he walked around the house looking for a way to break in. One of the smallest windows at the back was open, and he managed to get through it silently. Once inside, he rummaged the place looking for the coca leaves. In the dark, only helped by the dim moonlight coming through the windows, his unsteady hands searched along the bottles the doctor had in storage, and he grew increasingly frustrated when he couldn't find any leaves. He kept opening containers, discarding them quickly to check on the next, frantically spilling some of the contents all over the place, like a mini-hurricane leaving a trail of destruction behind. At one point his elbow hit one of the bottles left on the table, which fell off to the floor, smashing in pieces, but he continued searching nonetheless, ignoring the mess created by the sticky fluid it contained.
Within a couple of minutes of breaking that bottle, the doctor was at the ground floor, aiming at the intruder with a shotgun in his shaky, nervous hands.
"Hold it right there! Put your hands where I can see them!" he shouted to the black shadow. The shadow put his hands up, and while the doctor lit a candle, the intruder stood there immobile, but his body was shaking, and he was… sobbing?
"Zorro! What are you doing here?" the doctor cried when he recognized him. Then he saw the mess of toppled up bottles, jars, and the ingredients lying everywhere. "For goodness sake! What the…?"
In an all-time low, Zorro sat on the floor, on top of the mess he had created, crying with his hands covering his masked face, shaking and sobbing like a lost child.
"Diego, no, please," the doctor said, lowering his voice, alarmed by his state. He left the shotgun on the table and grabbed Zorro's shoulders, shaking him gently. "Please, don't do that. What's wrong?"
"I blew it!" Zorro said with a high-pitched voice, choked with emotion, and then rested his head on his knees. "I totally blew it this time!"
"What happened? What could be your fault now? Please, calm down and tell me."
Zorro took a little time to collect himself and then talked again, lifting his head to look at the doctor.
"Victoria rejected me today. Twice. As Diego and as Zorro. It's finished. All this time of sacrifice for nothing. All gone!"
"I can't believe that. Why would she…? Oh, wait. Esteban?"
"Yes," Zorro said, taking his hat off and lifting the soaked mask to wipe his tears off.
"I see. How can I help you?"
"You can't. Unless you can give me some more of the coca leaves. That's what I came here for. I'm so sorry about the mess, but I am out of control. I really need that drug to keep functioning normally. I can't cope without it."
"Nonsense! Sure you can! I'm sorry, but as I said before, I don't have many left. One more infusion of the coca leaves will do you no good. What you need to have right now is a different kind of infusion to calm your nerves, not getting more excited. And then we need a plan to wean you off that stuff completely. Come on, get up from the floor and sit down in that armchair while I prepare that mix."
The doctor helped Zorro up and guided him to the seat, where he sat down, now subdued and docile like a tamed, old animal. When the doctor returned with the infusion, Zorro drunk it all without a question.
"Attaboy. You'll feel better with that, you'll see. Now, this is what we will do tomorrow…"
ZZZ
Victoria couldn't sleep that night. Rejecting both Diego and Zorro on the same day had left her extremely nervous about her future. How would he take it now? With open arms or a hurt, angry heart? And then, should she tell him about the episode with Zorro? She wasn't a virgin anymore. Would he notice that on wedding night? If she could ever get to a wedding night... But, how could she tell him that? When? Before or after? It was too embarrassing!
She twisted and turned in bed for hours, with her mind flooded with all sorts of random questions she couldn't answer yet. Not until she talked to him in the morning. However, when the morning came and Pilar called in sick, she couldn't leave the tavern to go to the hacienda De la Vega. She had to stay in all day, only hoping he would show up at some point and they could talk.
He didn't show up in the morning, but in the afternoon, she was glad to see Don Alejandro and his nephew coming through the door. That was the first time Esteban had come to the tavern riding a horse since he suffered from seizures, and he seemed quite happy with his own achievement.
"Good afternoon, Don Alejandro. Don Esteban," she said when they approached the counter.
"Good afternoon, Victoria," Esteban said, and Don Alejandro echoed his words. "Come on, there is no need to call me Don Esteban now, is it? What makes you act so formal today?"
"All right. Sorry. Good afternoon, Esteban," she repeated.
"Yes, that's better," he said with his best, warmest smile.
"I can't see Diego. Is he with you? Did he go to the Guardian's office, perhaps?"
"No, I am afraid you won't see my cousin for a few days."
"Why? There's nothing wrong with him, is it?" she said, panicking.
"No, not at all. Nothing wrong with my son, Victoria. Don't worry," Don Alejandro said. "He is helping Doctor Hernández. Someone vandalized his home last night. There was a break in and the thief smashed many of the containers where he kept the herbs, compounds and medicines, and ruined them all. Diego has kindly offered to go to Monterey to get fresh medical supplies. It would take much longer otherwise if Doctor Hernández has to order them and then wait for the delivery."
"Yes. That's my cousin for you. Always there to give a hand," Esteban said.
Yes, and that's one of the reasons why I love him, she thought.
"How long is he going to be away?"
"It will take him a few days to get to Monterrey and back. Why?"
Victoria hesitated for a moment, fidgeting, thinking of a possible excuse to be interested in a conversation with Diego, but she couldn't think of anything.
"I wanted to ask him something. Never mind."
Don Alejandro stared at her, making her uncomfortable, and then suggested Esteban to go and sit at a table while he got the drinks.
"Victoria, did you like the roses?" he said when Esteban couldn't hear them.
"What?"
"Don't look so surprised. Diego left yesterday with a bouquet of roses, and returned with the longest face I have ever seen on him. He didn't tell me who was the lady involved, but the roses could only be for you. Am I right?"
She lowered her gaze then, embarrassed, and answered without looking at her prospective father in law.
"Yes. He gave me your roses and they were as beautiful as ever, thank you. But I rejected him, I'm afraid."
"What a shame. For both of you. Do you still have the intention of marrying Zorro one day then? Or do you have someone else in mind?" the old don said, openly looking back at Esteban without any stealth whatsoever.
"I think a made a mistake. A massive one. I wasn't expecting Diego to make that move yesterday, all of a sudden, and it caught me by surprise, I swear. But I have reconsidered and that's why I need to talk to him as soon as possible."
"Really? Would you accept him then?" Don Alejandro said, with the widest smile she had ever seen on his face.
"Yes, I think so. If he still wants me," she said with a similar smile. Don Alejandro looked so happy that, by knowing she would be welcomed into the De la Vega family so warmly, a big weight lifted off her shoulders immediately.
"Of course he will! Don't be silly."
"How is he?"
"I have seen him better, of course. He was quite depressed last night, but when the doctor came this morning to check on Esteban and told us about the disaster with his medicines, he volunteered to go to Monterey. I thought it was a convenient way to get him distracted of all this, because I had no idea you would reconsider. By the way, what are you going to do about Zorro?"
"I broke up with him last night, after I rejected Diego. God, I hope I am doing the right thing! I really needed to talk to your son today."
"Don't worry. He'll be back soon. And he will be elated with the news, I'm sure of that. Congratulations, Victoria. You made me a very happy man," he said, leaning over the counter to give her a hug, but he couldn't reach properly. "I'll hug you later, my dear. First, I'll take these drinks and talk to Esteban. I have the feeling he is not going to be so thrilled about these exciting news as I am."
"Thank you," she whispered, nodding.
She watched the old don heading for the table with the drinks. He talked to Esteban for a little while and she could see how his expression changed dramatically to become quite sombre.
Damn, she thought. Right now, the three men in her life had been rejected at the same time. If Diego decided to go away and disappear, never returning from Monterey, she would have to bang her head on the wall until it cracked open.
Esteban stood up then. Don Alejandro grabbed his arm, but he shook it off and headed for the door, not looking at her when he walked by the counter.
Damn, she repeated in her head.
ZZZ
Diego didn't know what to do with himself. Doctor Hernández had suggested a sort of retirement/confinement in a vacant, little cottage his brother had close to San Bernardino. The idea consisted in keeping him out of the way, isolated, away from the temptation of taking any drugs, to give him time to rest and think calmly without the stresses of daily life and without the responsibility of being Zorro. But so far, at least for the first day, the plan wasn't working that well. He spent most of his time pacing the small lounge area in the tiny house like a tiger in a cage, relentlessly following the perimeter, round and round, as close to the walls as possible while avoiding the scarce pieces of furniture.
After what it seemed like an endless period of wander, Diego stopped pacing and sat down, taking one of the multiple books Felipe had supplied after he left the hacienda pretending to be on his way to Monterey. He opened the book and tried to concentrate his attention on the reading, but it was useless. His thoughts would invariable go back to Victoria and the two rejections he had to endure from her. He knew that attitude wasn't the best, and certainly not healthy, but he couldn't help it. He was obsessed by it, consumed with the sense of loss. And he needed the drugs more than ever. Although the doctor had supplied St John's wort and Valerian herbs to prepare soothing, calming infusions, he still craved for the instant high of the coca leaves.
He realized the spiralling down thoughts and the cravings got him nowhere, so he soon left the book back on the table, stood up, and slapped himself a couple of times.
Wake up, damn it! She doesn't love you, so stop this nonsense right now! he scolded himself. The daisies didn't lie. She loves Esteban, so accept it and get on with your life, as miserable as it may look right now.
Doctor Hernández suggested he stayed inside most of the time to avoid anyone spotting him, spoiling the alibi of his trip to Monterey, but he couldn't stand a further minute confined between those oppressive four walls, so he opened the door and walked out.
ZZZZZ
AN – I can't believe most of the readers out there thought Victoria would go for Esteban (or at least, that's the concern you expressed in the reviews). I tried not to make it too obvious, but I thought the clues to show that she had changed her mind about Diego were there. That's why I called then "yo-yos out of sync" in my previous AN, never meeting on the same level.
Oh, well. I hope you are happy now. But… keep an eye on things. You know how I love twisting things around and torturing the characters right to the end. Specially Diego/Zorro. Ha!
As usual, thanks for all the kind reviews, and please, keep reading and leaving your thoughts. Always so helpful to know what you think and what needs more explaining.