Thanks so much for all the reviews and also for being so patient with me. I'm going to try and get the next chapters out as quick as possible. Hope you like this.
Hermione didn't know what to say, what to do, the fact that the first sighting of the Sensieve's magic in weeks had led her straight to Draco seemed too much like fate and it made her feel uncomfortable. She'd just gotten to the point of being almost okay with the new status quo; they could pretend nothing had ever slightly happened between them, no harm, no foul. Now she felt as if all her progress, all her pep talks from Ginny had been ripped away and all that remained was the faint tinge of the Sensieve's magic, which she always associated with him, always.
She opened and closed her mouth, uncertain of what she could possibly say to him. She guessed she could shout at him, ask him what on earth he thought he was playing at, but they'd done that all before, all their conversations feeling suspiciously like deje vu.
A light breeze blew past and she shivered violently. Common sense should have told her to grab a coat before leaving the warmth of the common room, but her excitement at seeing the familiar blue light had meant that she'd forgotten about everything but following wherever it led. Of course, now that the wonder had worn off she was left dithering in the bitter cold in nothing but her bunny pyjama bottoms and a thin t-shirt that her father had brought back from a dentist convention; Colgate boasting whiter than white on the front, a gleaming tooth emblazoned with it just to prove it.
"You're cold," He muttered, stepping towards her slowly as if she were a wild animal and he was desperately afraid of spooking her.
"How incredibly observant of you." She managed to make it sound justifiably biting, even through her chattering teeth. After all that had happened the last few weeks, she would not have guessed that those would be the first words out his mouth. Hermione was shocked even further when he slipped off his coat and settled it on her shoulders, warmth instantly seeping into her skin, his scent surrounding her. It was a heady experience that made it difficult to do anything but grab at the lapels, pulling them together.
Of course, she realised that if Ginny were there, the redhead would stomp her foot and tell her to shove the coat and his pathetic kindness right back in his face. But Ginny wasn't there and no matter how much she knew she should do it, she just couldn't bring herself to. It wasn't like she needed anything that he had to offer, but guiltily she wanted it and it was so, so warm.
"I don't understand you." She whispered, lifting her head and narrowing her eyes at him. She'd caught him examining her attire, a small smile playing on his face.
"Are those…bunnies?" He queried, ignoring her comment and leaning down to look more closely. Hermione tugged the coat tighter around her and stepped back a little, hoping it would obstruct his view if only a bit.
"Yes, and before you say anything, there is nothing wrong with having rabbits on my pyjamas."
"Oh, I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, it's just…it's you." Hermione had no idea what he meant but something in the way he said it, the small smile that accompanied it, the softness of his gaze as he looked at her made it difficult to swallow.
"What are you doing?" She asked, pressing her lips together sternly, the whole situation was all just a bit too weird, a bit too out of the blue. A small part of her mind whispered (quite rightly) that she didn't need this, there were too many other things going on, rearing their ugly heads and making yet another year at Hogwarts something of an issue. She didn't need Draco to be yet another problem, but crazily she wanted him to be. She'd missed him, missed the moments, missed the way he constantly challenged her, infuriated her. She'd thought endlessly about what she had been sure was an almost kiss and had come to terms with the fact that she'd wanted him too. If her memory served her correct she'd leaned forward, pushing herself up to her toes towards him.
"Well, I'm talking to you." He answered slowly, shrugging slightly in an attempt to appear casual, but Hermione could tell that his hands in his pockets and the hunch of his shoulders had nothing at all to do with the cold, he was nervous. The knowledge that he seemed just as unsure as she did, made her back straighten a little.
"And why's that?" She wanted to point out that he'd been avoiding her, but the wounded glance he sent her way told her he was already aware and waiting for retribution, so she held her tongue, pushing back the screaming logic in her head waiting for him to explain himself.
"I…the Sensieve brought me here."
Hermione did her best not to snort in derision. If that was all he could come up with then she was going to bed, Ginny had been right, people like Draco Malfoy just couldn't be reasoned with, couldn't be trusted. She had known and yet she had still let him get far too close.
"It brought me here too, but it seems there's nothing to find." She glanced around quickly, shrugging his coat off her shoulders and wincing at the cold. With a sigh, she held it out to him. She did her best not to make it too obvious that she was itching to look around more, still there was a point to be made, she wasn't going to be phased by him or by the way he treated her, she was just going to hand back his coat and stomp her way back to the castle. Like Ginny had told her to, she would draw a line under everything and start anew.
"Keep it." He looked at the coat and then at her and she gulped past the want to hug him close, she was sure that she had never seen Malfoy look so sad.
"And how will I explain it to my friends?"
"Say you found it?" He grinned a little and Hermione fought back a smile.
"I don't think that will work somehow."
She waved it at him and Draco sighed resignedly gently taking it from her, sparks erupting over her hand as his fingers brushed hers. She looked up at him and her eyes widened at the intensity of his gaze looking at and into her. She knew he could feel the Sensieve's magic too, crackling and sparking across their skin and in the air around them. It had been so long since it had made its appearance that she'd forgotten just how intense it could be. She faintly realised that Draco was stepping towards her and she was stepping towards him, the old magic drawing them together, a centre of gravity that tugged them both towards it and each other. Hermione quickly pulled away not able to trust herself or the multitude of feelings that seemed to be clamouring within her. Why was she there with him after everything he'd done both to her and her friends? Why was she allowing herself to be swept along when she knew that it was just going to end in hurt and pain? She couldn't answer the questions, but she made herself feel a little bit better by convincing herself that it was the old magic, it was strong, and it was controlling them both meaning that neither of them really had a choice when it came to its power. Of course, that explanation didn't go anyway to explaining the other thing, the subtle and quiet thing that she felt for him, lingering in the background and whispering for her to give him a chance. It was similar to the undeniable force that worked between Edward and Mina, but she didn't want to think about what that meant about how she felt about the Slytherin.
"I've got to go." She mumbled quickly, turning away from him and shutting out all the thoughts that suggested she stay.
"Granger. Wait." She could have cried, or cursed, or turned and slapped him around the face. Five steps and he was calling her back and she wanted to ignore him, but she couldn't. They would still go back to their respective common rooms and regardless of what was said, he would go back to Daphne and ignore her, but still, she stayed, anger bubbling within her at the injustice of it all. She was no fool, she was a strong, brave Gryffindor, who'd help Harry overcome some terrible things, but when it came to Draco she somehow devolved into an idiot who learned nothing from previous mistakes.
All of this frustration burst out of her as she whirled around to face him.
"Why? Why should I wait? Why should I keep listening to all your crap?" Draco drew back frowning, glaring at the forbidden forest, his jaw clenching furiously.
"You know, there are a lot of things you don't understand." Hermione snorted in disbelief.
"Oh, I understand plenty. I understand that you blow hot and cold all the time, you suddenly decide that you want to talk and think that I'll just go along with it like I've been sitting twiddling my thumbs waiting for you to show me some kind of attention."
"I don't…"
"I understand that, regardless of my feelings, you are nothing but cruel to the people I care about."
"Granger, I…"
"I understand that you are so infuriating so…so…"
"If you're going to shout at me will you please put this back on?" Anger was burning in his eyes as he held the coat out to her.
"Confusing." She breathed, her anger slightly muted for the moment. When she made no move to take the coat, he stepped forward quickly, drawing it once again over her shoulders, stepping back when it was once again securely wrapped around her.
"Why do you do this?"
"I don't know," he shrugged, "I've been brought up with the knowledge it's not chivalrous to let a woman freeze to death."
"You know what I'm talking about. You're cruel, mean, you write terrible songs about my friends…"
"Theo wrote that." Draco quickly defended.
"You sang it." She accused, narrowing her eyes.
"Yes, I sang it." He stepped back, looking down at his shoes as they scuffed the snow till tiny blades of grass began to peek through the white.
"Why?" Draco gave her an incredulous look before sighing in exasperation.
"Because I did. Because it was funny, and I wanted to win."
"Funny? You thought singing a cruel song about my friend was funny."
"Well, yeah."
"He was petrified, and you made it all ten times worse for him. And for your information, he does not live in a bin."
"Okay, okay, but come on, Granger he was playing Quidditch not facing a sodding dementor."
"That's beside the point."
"Of course, it, because everything slightly wrong with your friends is always 'beside' the point."
"There is nothing slightly wrong with my friends." She knew it wasn't true, but she couldn't stand Malfoy tearing them apart.
"Yes, yes, nothing at all, because Potty and the Weasley clone didn't try to kick seven charms out of me."
"Harry told me what you said, can you really blame him?"
"Merlin forbid You-Know-Who decides to use name calling as his weapon of choice, the wizarding world will be screwed." Hermione crossed her arms tapping her foot angrily in the snow.
"Well, at least I understand a few more things, you're always going to be this way." Draco glared at her stomping forward with such ferocity that she stumbled back slightly.
"Is that what you want? Want me to change and become like Potty, I can go on all your measly adventures and still win no house points for Slytherin."
"No, I just…I just want you to be yourself and don't…don't tell me all that crap is who you are because it's not, I know it's not"
"And what is me, Granger, then huh? Because by Salazar, I'm not a jumped up little Gryffindor."
"Who cares about any of that? You, you're Malfoy, you're funny and somehow you can be caring and weirdly make me feel better. I don't…I don't even understand it, but you listen and you're…you're a good person you just seem to forget that or desperately try not to be."
Hermione looked up at Draco and gulped, his grey stare boring into her, searching her eyes for something.
"You really believe that?" He was close, his warm breath ghosting her face.
"Yes." He smiled almost sadly down at her, the pad of his thumb tracing the same path it had weeks ago, the feeling of it making Hermione shiver, her eyes dropping closed for a second.
"I'm not a good person, Granger." He was watching his thumb as it traced her bottom lip, Hermione's mouth opened slightly when she found it was getting harder to breathe.
"You could be." He was leaning forward, and she was shocked, how did they get here again, how did they go from arguing to being pulled together. She wondered if he felt this way with Greengrass and the thought of his girlfriend pulled her back to reality, making her step back and away from him. His hand remained suspended in the air for some time before it dropped dejectedly by his side. Part of her wished she hadn't stepped back, she could have pressed herself right against him, clung to him and made her argument loud and clear as she tasted him, breathed him in. Hermione flushed, turning away quickly so he wouldn't see the shameful things she was thinking about. If Ginny happened across her again she wasn't sure that her friend would be so understanding.
Draco raked his hands through his hair, walking to the edge of the lake and kicking some stones, watching them bounce across the ice, the way he'd imagined his ring would of if he'd thrown it.
"Argh, this is fucked."
"What is?" Hermione hesitantly took one step toward him before stopping. As she looked at him she wondered what it was that he liked about Daphne, what was it about her that made her so much better, so much more than what she was. Hermione shook her head quickly, dislodging the thoughts as soon as they appeared, she would not allow herself to fall into a state of self-pity and woe, Draco Malfoy was with Daphne Greengrass and that's all there was to it, she would just have to get her head around it somehow. Still, the surrealness of her thought process was not lost on her, who'd of thought that she would be jealous of Malfoy's girlfriend?
"Everything."
"It can't be all that bad." Though some sort of instinct inside of her knew that it was, things were very bad, not just between them, it was all around them in the wizarding world.
"It is. Look, Granger…I want to…I've wanted to spend time with you, talk to you. I want…" He looked at her and gulped, "Either way it doesn't matter because I can't, I've been trying to avoid you because…well for reasons."
Hermione was shocked to find that she was chuckling lightly, stepping next to him to look out at the lake. The castle loomed above their heads but to Hermione it felt as though it was a million worlds away and it was just them, meeting together and leaving their lives behind at the proverbial tree line.
"Well, that's decidedly unhelpful." Draco chuckled too wiping his forehead.
"Tell me about it."
"Why can't you see me, talk to me?" Draco gave her pained side glance before digging his hands into his pockets.
"I can't tell you, I want to, Granger believe me." Hermione nodded, she did believe him, somehow. "But not seeing you, not being able to talk to you…" Draco rubbed his face several times, "well, it just sucks."
Though they were in no way poetic, the words warmed her heart, keeping out the chill far better than the coat had been. It made her feel happy to know that no contact had hurt him just as much as it had hurt her.
"You're just…" He was struggling to find the words, but when he turned to her, snagging one of her curls gently in his fingers, it seemed as though he'd struck gold, a small smile playing on his face. "You're just, Granger and it's pretty impossible to stay away."
Hermione opened her mouth to ask why it was impossible, what he felt, why he was doing all of this when he had a girlfriend, but she knew he wouldn't answer her, so she simply closed her mouth again. Heart racing in her chest, she stepped forward, looping her arms around his neck and pulling herself onto her tiptoes. She ignored his wide eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder, nose brushing his neck lightly. Draco wrapped his arms around her so quickly she involuntarily gasped, holding her so fiercely as if he'd been starved of it for so long. Hermione clung onto him too, blushing as she buried her head deeper into his neck, breathing him in.
"I don't understand it but I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt." She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in for both of them. Then she added quietly "It sucks without you too."
She couldn't believe herself, not only was she directly going against everything that Ginny had told her, but she was going against Gryffindor principles. She was good and right and kind and brave and in no way was it right to be holding another girl's boyfriend as though she was afraid he would disappear. She knew she shouldn't but there was a calmness and a happiness that filled her when Draco gripped her tighter, his hands moving up and down her back in the most hypnotic way. It was wrong, but everything about it felt wonderful, and she wondered if that was what it was like to be a little bit devious. A little bit Slytherin.