Chapter 57 – Revealing Zorro's dirty little secrets (II)

And now, as he is still unconscious and so unresponsive, I am going to fix that sore gunshot wound that refuses to heal.

"I think he has developed a fistula there, and it will be extremely painful for him if I do that when he is awake," Doctor Hernández said. "It may never heal completely otherwise, so, I better get on with it now to make the most of this bad situation. Victoria, can you please hold that lamp close to me, so I can see a bit better? Ideally, I should have done this by daylight, but I couldn't risk him suddenly waking up screaming while the alcalde was lurking, could I?"

"No, of course not," Victoria said, grabbing the lamp, happy to be of help. "Where do you want this? Here?" she said, holding it a short distance over Diego's abdomen.

"Yes, that's perfect, thank you."

The doctor pushed the bed covers out of the way and lifted the night gown. He removed the small dressing he had applied a few hours earlier, prepped the area clean, and got his surgical instruments ready.

*** WARNING – SURGICAL PROCEDURE GOING ON HERE***

The doctor will repair the gunshot wound now, but I won't give many visual details (so don't worry unless you have very powerful imaginations). But the conversation will flow while he is doing that, as he goes along, so there is no way to separate the medical stuff from the rest, the juicy revelations. I have been told before to place warnings, but honestly, I don't think it is that bad this time. Although Victoria there, so close to the action, would probably tell you differently, LOL

"All right, there we go," he said, taking the scalpel to make an incision around the burnt skin and all that damaged area. As expected, Diego didn't react to that at all.

Victoria gulped when she saw all that blood oozing from the skin, but she carried on looking, mesmerized by the procedure, which got more and more gruesome as the doctor kept digging deeper and deeper, removing all the abnormal scar tissue down to Diego's guts, creating a horrific looking, fresh, bleeding wound.

"Esteban, please, hold this for me. I think I'm going to be sick!" Victoria said after a while.

Esteban rushed to take the lamp off her hand, and she just had enough time to reach the basin in the corner of the room to empty her stomach.

"Victoria, are you alright?" Don Alejandro said, with a hand on her shoulder, comforting her as she heaved, glad to have an excuse to move away from the bed, also reluctant to carry on watching the operation.

"Yes, don't worry, it's only that… Ugh. That was so revolting. I'm so glad he can't feel a thing, because that would be bloody painful if he was awake!"

"That's precisely the point, Victoria. That's why I'm doing it now," the doctor said without looking at her, concentrated in finally stitching the large defect he had created after removing all the abnormal looking tissues. "Diego knew he would have to endure this butchering surgery if the wound didn't heal, and we've been postponing it, hoping the defect could heal on its own somehow, if he could get enough rest without straining it. Can you hold that lamp a little bit higher now, please? Otherwise, I may hit it when I pull from the thread."

"Yes, certainly," Esteban said, lifting it a bit, resenting his ribs again, but keeping the discomfort to himself.

"You are not going to be sick too, are you?" the doctor said, noticing how Esteban was also reluctant to look.

"No. But that's gross. I prefer not to watch, because I must hold onto those albóndigas already in my stomach with my life. Unlike Victoria's, my starving body can't afford to bring them back up. The way I'm going, who knows when I will eat again."

That funny comment made the doctor laugh, lighting up the mood in the room.

"It's nearly done now. Only the easy part left," the doctor said, pulling from the thread, repositioning the needle for the next stitch.

"Are you serious when you say he would have to endure this surgical procedure conscious?" Don Alejandro said, horrified. "Do you mean you would have been cutting off pieces of his flesh while he could feel it?"

The doctor stopped to look at him, raising an eyebrow, with a "What do you think?" expression on his face.

"Oh, my word… this is getting worse and worse by the minute!"

"I sent him to a retreat so he could rest in San Bernardino, while he pretended to go to Monterey, so he could give that wound a break for a few days. He couldn't do that here in Los Angeles, because he was always needed as Zorro for one thing or another, and the wound would always come open again."

"Zorro complained of that wound when he gave me that fencing lesson. He was fine to start with, but when I lunged at him, he stretched his body to get out of the way of my sword, before he disarmed me from below. Right after that, he complained about his side, showing obvious pain, but he was quite nonchalant about it. Oh, my God, that must have been one of those times when the wound re-opened, wasn't it?" Esteban said, feeling a pang of remorse for that ill-timed, unnecessary action with the sword one more time.

"Yes, that was one of them. And that oozing, open and sore looking hole in his abdomen was the result of that," the doctor said, pointing with the needle holder at the drape covering Diego's chest, were he had been placing the discarded pieces of flesh he had cut out.

"Can this get any more disturbing?!" Don Alejandro said, at the end of his tether, returning to his seat by the bed to hold onto Diego's inert hand, cringing when he saw all those little pieces of flesh on display, only a short distance from his face. Victoria, on the other hand, preferred to stay in the background, away from the blood.

"But he didn't stay for long in that place to rest, did he?" Esteban said. "He left for Monterey in the morning of… When was that? I lost track of time. Three days ago? Four?"

"Two," Victoria said. "Not even that. That was yesterday morning. Less than 48 hours ago."

"Only two days ago? Blimey. It feels much longer. Much, much longer. So, those men from Madrid abducted me that same afternoon, and that night he came to that abandoned cellar to rescue us. What a pitiful, little rest he had, considering he also had to ride all the way to San Bernardino and back that same day. That's a bit of a trek."

"Yes, and he didn't have enough time to treat his drug addiction either."

Mierda! the doctor thought right after those words had left his mouth, scolding himself for slipping that out while distracted placing the stitches.

"What drug addiction?" Don Alejandro said.

"Sorry, I should not have mentioned that. My bad," the doctor said, finishing the last stitch. "Well, job done. I hope that wound heals well now. At least he is not going to disturb the stitches this time."

"What drug addiction?" Don Alejandro insisted, increasingly alarmed.

"You don't really want to know. Forget about it."

"That looks pretty neat, Doctor," Esteban said, taking a peek. "Well done. I'm very impressed. I never thought it would look that good in the end. Amazing."

"Thanks."

"Stop ignoring me and tell me: what drug addiction are you talking about?!" Don Alejandro cried again, finally losing it, standing up.

"All right. I'll tell you, as you insist so much, but it won't make you feel any better, most likely the contrary."

"It doesn't matter. Tell me!"

"Have you noticed how irritable Diego has been over the last few days, maybe weeks?"

"Yes, he has been particularly short-tempered for his usually calmed self. Yes, I noticed that," Don Alejandro said, nodding.

"Absolutely, I had noticed that too," Victoria agreed. "He even shouted at me when he stitched Esteban's tongue. I had never seen him losing his temper like that. Ever. And now that I think about it, Zorro was also vexed and irritated lately, like out of control sometimes. Oh my God! I never saw that connection either!" she said, covering her mouth with her hand, in shock.

"Yes, he wasn't himself lately, definitely," Esteban said, remembering the hard punch Diego threw at him without warning.

"Well, after he got shot we used coca leaves to give him a boost, because he couldn't rest like a normal person would with that kind of injury."

"And whose fault is that? You should have told me! I could have taken good care of him!" Don Alejandro barked. "Only if I had known he was injured, of course. If somebody would have bothered telling me!"

"Now, now, before you go ballistic, hear me out, please. Unfortunately, we didn't know how addictive these leaves would become, and he ended up craving them all the time. They worked really well for its initial purpose, to give him an energy boost while he felt so worn out, and that was one of the reasons why he could confront the alcalde the next day, so soon after he got shot, to get you two out of jail, remember?" he said, pointing at Esteban and Victoria. "But later on, the more he used them, the more tired and irritable he became when the temporary boosting effects of the leaves ran out, so he had to take more and more, to keep up with it, and it became a vicious circle, difficult to break. And that went on for a while, with him having all those mood swings, until he ran out of the drug completely."

"And what happened then?" Esteban said.

"That's when he hit his lowest point ever: he broke into my house like a thieve to steal the little amount of coca leaves I had left, because I didn't want to give him anymore. In his desperation to find them, he made a right mess there, breaking some of the containers where I keep the medical components for my medicines."

"Oh, poor Diego!" Victoria said, horrified. "When was that?"

"Right after you dumped him, twice," the doctor remarked while tidying up, wrapping all the surgical instruments with the drape with the pieces of flesh, a bit unsensitive with her, tired of trying to spare everyone's feelings all the time. "He came straight into my house from the tavern that night to steal the few leaves I had left, because he had run out of them three days before and he couldn't cope without the drug. At that point, he would do anything to get more. That's why I thought it would be a good idea to send him to that retreat at my brother's cottage in San Bernardino, away from everything. To give him a much needed physical and mental break. A break from everything, and everyone, even from you, Victoria, because that day, we thought you had dumped him because you wanted to marry Esteban. Sorry. I didn't know you had changed your mind about him or I would have told him the good news and worked something else out, rather than sending him away like that."

"Shit," she muttered then, flushing red as a tomato again, deeply disturbed to have caused him such a plight unknowingly. "I didn't know it was him! None of that would have happened if I had known! And the worse thing is, he still doesn't know I love him!"

She broke down in tears one more time then, and when she walked past Esteban to get out of the room, he grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Shhh, calm down, please. Don't go. Come here," he said, offering his arms wide open, and she willingly fell on the gap. He embraced her then, and she cried on his chest, using him as her handkerchief, as she had done so many times with Diego.

"He saw us kissing at that damn cellar!" she cried, holding onto his shirt tightly, leaning on him, bothering his ribs, but he didn't complain, holding on steady for her. "I can't imagine what went through his head right then! And we still didn't tell him what was really going on because we didn't know it was him. Because we were trying to protect him from Zorro, of all things! From himself! How stupid was that? As Zorro, he even congratulated me for our relationship, and he wished us well. And, I still kept it to myself I wanted to marry Diego, and not you, in case Zorro would be angry with him! Aaaargh!"

"What is she talking about, Esteban? You knew she had changed her mind and wanted to marry your cousin, and you still tried to seduce her, kissing her in front of him?" Don Alejandro said, shocked, going mad at his nephew again, as he had done so many times before with the issue of women. "How could you? You, you… scumbag!"

"Please, don't do that. You can't understand. Don't ask for explanations about this, Uncle, please."

Victoria lifted her head, keen to explain herself, but Esteban stopped her.

"Don't say anything. He won't understand, because he wasn't there. We'll tell Diego when he wakes up. He'll understand."

"All right. Good, because I am too embarrassed talking about that." I had too much embarrassment with Don Alejandro about sex already. He must think I am a slut! she thought, dismayed.

"Yeah, me too. Me too. I am too ashamed of that ill-timed, odd kiss we shared there, for many reasons," he said, letting go of her, away from his arms, giving a break to his ribs. "Now, calm down, and stop crying, please. That drug addiction the doctor talked about wasn't your fault. In a way, it wasn't anybody's fault, and it was everybody's fault, all at the same time. We are all guilty of this fiasco somehow. All of us. Including him," he said, pointing at his cousin.

"But, do you realize how difficult we made his life between the three of us?" Victoria said, fretting about it. "All of us giving him grief at the same time for one reason or another? And he never said a word. He never complained. His own father always expecting a different behaviour from him, one he could not show under the circumstances, scolding him all the time for his apparent apathy and cowardice while he suffered in silence all that physical and emotional strain. You, Esteban, always getting in trouble with your impulsiveness, making him jump through hoops to keep you safe and sound —an impossible task, that one. You only need to have a look at yourself in a mirror. And on top of everything, your insistence on stealing his girlfriend: me. And me… me… Well, so many things, but the most important one, not appreciating his true self enough, blind as a bat."

"Yes. You are right. Unbelievable. Guilty as hell," Don Alejandro said, lifting his hand. "I could flog my own back with a short whip for punishment, like a Catholic penitent in Semana Santa, if that could make anything better for him right now."

"Look, it's so easy to feel guilty now, in retrospect, but please, think about it: we didn't know!" Esteban cried. "Everything would have been different if we had known. Everything. So, he had to take some of the blame for his long run of misery, I think. It cannot be only our fault."

"You have a fair point there, I guess," Don Alejandro said. "But, still, with hindsight, I feel like a filthy worm now. So sorry, and so unworthy of him as a father."

"Well, don't do that. I refuse to feel like some insensitive, despicable vermin now, because all of this could have been prevented. I'll still feel bad, of course, but not so much, because I also feel angry with him for not telling me, because he had plenty of chances to do so. Actually, sometimes I feel like slapping him until his face falls off. Just saying."

"Esteban, you are not serious, are you?" Victoria said. "How could you even think about hitting him, after everything he had done for us, after all the sacrifices he had made, especially for you? I am also angry and upset for the deception, of course I am, but I could never hit him. Not a chance."

"Neither could I," Don Alejandro said, staring at his unconscious son, who looked so pale and defenceless in that bed. "Never."

"Well, you two are too soft, because I still think I could. And I owe him back a punch on his face, anyway."

"Why?" Victoria said.

"Because I… I… Nothing. For nothing." Because I gave him permission to hit me after I also deceived you and put you in danger stupidly, Victoria. That's why I owe him a punch… Bummer. Who am I kidding? That man owes me a thousand blows instead. "Forget about that. I will try not to hit him when he wakes up, I promise."

"Well, I'm afraid it's getting a bit too late. There is nothing else I can do for Diego tonight," the doctor said, putting everything back in his bag, ready to go. "He is stable in his condition, and I still don't understand why is he so unresponsive, what poison if affecting him, or how to reverse its effects, so, I'll retire to bed now. I'll be back tomorrow, but, of course, if there are any changes and you are worried, please, let me know. I am only a short distance away, at the other side of the street. Come to get me at any time."

"Gracias. Buenas noches, Doctor," Don Alejandro said. "Thank you for all you have done, and forgive me for shouting at you, but as you can understand, I am too upset with the whole situation and all these unexpected revelations."

"Don't worry. I understand that. Goodnight."

"Uncle, it's really late," Esteban said after the doctor left. "Why don't you retire to sleep too, to the other guest room? I can look after Diego tonight. I've been asleep all day, remember? And tomorrow I will have to pretend I am sicker than I actually am, and stay in bed again as if I don't have the strength to get up, so I think it is pointless that you don't get some rest now, while you can."

"Yes, that make sense. But please, as the doctor said, let me know if there are any changes. What about you, Victoria?"

"I would like to stay a little bit longer, thank you. But not much, because tomorrow will be another busy day of acting for me."

"All right. I'll see you in the morning then. Goodnight," the old don said, heading for the door. "After this eye-opening, disturbing conversation, finding out about Zorro's dirty little secrets, I have a few things to talk through with my pillow."

"Buenas noches," Esteban and Victoria said. After he left, they both sat on a chair on each side of the bed, facing each other, with the bed, and Diego, in between them. As he has always been.

Esteban stared at her in a similar way as he had done when they were in jail, when she got so irritated by him she had to cover herself with a blanket to avoid his penetrating gaze.

"What? What are you looking at me now for?"

"Nothing… and everything. I am glad you didn't retire to bed yet, because I would like to talk to you. First thing, I would like to let you know that I am rooting for you two, and I really hope you are happy when you can finally be together, because you both deserve happiness, especially after all this crap you went through. But I am also deeply sad with this turn of events, as you can imagine. For a brief period of time, I thought you could get to love me, for real. And that was a nice thought."

"For a brief period of time, I thought so too. Well, I have to confess that, for a little while, I really believed I was falling in love with you, while still in love with Zorro, and that was a very confusing time for me. I'm so sorry if I gave you any hopes."

"You didn't really fall in love with me, Victoria. I can see that clearly now. You only thought you loved me because I reminded you of Diego, and Zorro, or the mix of both, which is what you always wanted, which is what Diego truly is. But it's Diego who you really love, not me. That is so obvious now."

She could only nod through her fresh tears, unable to talk with that tight knot in her throat.

"We talked about you so many times, you know? So many times… and he never said anything. He never said a word that would make me suspicious, he never slipped anything to make me think twice about it. He knew I had fallen in love with you since the first moment I saw you at the tavern, but he never told me he loved you and that I should back off. And he had plenty of chances to do so. Why?"

"Felipe said his main reason for not telling anybody anything, is because it was the only way to keep us safe from the alcalde, because that way, we didn't have to pretend anything, and all our actions when Zorro was around, would look natural. It was much easier to keep the farce going if only one person had to act and pretend. Or two, if you count Felipe. But I guess it was easier for him, because he can't talk, so he could never slip anything accidentally. So, keeping it all secret makes sense, somehow. But it would have been much easier for Diego if he had told us, definitely."

"Since I arrived at this pueblo, I could see you had feelings for Diego, as your childhood sweetheart, but when he insisted you were just friends now, I believed him, because I had seen him in Madrid, courting ladies, and he wasn't shy to make his feelings known. He would have married that Zafira if she had not dumped him at the altar. And I honestly thought he would have acted on his feelings if he was truly interested in you."

Victoria squirmed on her chair then, obviously uncomfortable with those words.

"I know, I can imagine this is hard news for you to swallow, that he would court other women while in Spain, because you liked each other since childhood and you would expect some kind of loyalty from him, but he was miles away from you for four years, and you were not engaged when he left, were you?"

"No, we weren't, of course not. He wasn't unfaithful, because we had not taken any steps towards that innocent, first love. When I saw that beautiful Zafira here at the pueblo, I was so jealous of her, even if I was already seeing Zorro at the time. And angry with her as well, because, how could she dump him like that on his wedding day? Although, I kind of did the same: I rejected him. When Diego came to the tavern with the roses, I even said: "why can't you be more like your cousin?" How insulting would that feel, when he thought I wanted to marry you, while I was still engaged to him as Zorro?" she said, quivering again.

"No. No. Please, no. Don't you dare start the crying again. Don't," he warned her with his finger pointing at her across the bed, over Diego's body, but she couldn't help it and started sobbing. Oh, God. There we go again.

ZZZZZ