She was sitting on one of her preferred balconies staring at the alien sea and trying to think about Lorne's question.

What if Jarod wasn't Jarod anymore? What if Carthis had stripped him empty and Methos had filled up what was left? What if…what if she got Methos back?

That turn of thought threw her internal balance off. She frowned hard and tucked her knees under her chin and wrapped her arms around her shins and held herself. What would that mean? A return to some kind of normal? Sure right it was normal to be on a city-ship on an alien sea in a completely different galaxy. Normal. Normal to be banned from your own planet and everything you knew.

But Max Holloway was never normal. She shook her head and slowly stood up and leaned against the safety rail. Far below she could see the tiny dots of Atlantis personnel going about their day. This was probably her best shot at something close to normal. Back with a team saving the world or at least their own asses.

"Didn't think I could sneak up on you." Lorne said with a laugh as she jumped at his voice. He joined her by the rail and they stood in companionable silence.

"How is Jarod?" He asked eventually.

"Stronger. He…seems confused still. Do you want to meet him? Properly?"

So they left the balcony and moved back into the city. They chatted about small things, the cafeteria, Rodney and so on as they walked. She liked Lorne, could relax with him. She no longer cared if he came to see her out of a sense of duty or because he enjoyed spending time with her. The motivation was irrelevant. He was a good man with a sense of humor and sharp wit.

Jarod was sleeping when they arrived. She entered quietly and approached his bed. His eyes opened almost immediately.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

He smiled softly and looked past her to Lorne, silhouetted against the doorway.

"This is a friend."

Lorne joined her and examined Jarod. He was a big man and at full health would be imposing. Lying prone he managed to seem completely inoffensive and passive.

"Hi, I'm Evan."

Jarod offered his hand and Lorne accepted it surprised by the patient's strong calloused grip.

"Jarod."

"How are you feeling?" Max asked.

"Better, stronger, things are still…confused."

"Carson said you've been excelling in PT."

"Yeah well, immortality does have some perks."

"Jarod has anyone told you much about Atlantis?"

"Just the highlights. Space vampires. Humanoid replicators. So on."

'"Right, good. Uh well, there's kind of more…not about Atlantis. About me. Us." She licked her lips and tried to think of how to explain things. Lorne, to his credit, didn't excuse himself. Instead, he took her hand. She looked over at him, surprised and pleased. He smiled gently and squeezed her hand.

She took a breath.

"See…the thing is I can't go back to Earth." She waited while Jarod processed that.

"Why?"

She felt shame redden her cheeks, tears threatening. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "I killed people. Innocent people. I'm only here because Sam, uh Colonel Carter, got me out of prison. The people that run Atlantis, back on Earth I mean, they don't want me to come back I mean I can, but if I do I'll go back to prison."

"Oh Max…" Jarod sighed.

She couldn't read him was it pity? Sorrow? Disappointment? All of it? Why wasn't he surprised? "Methos?" She asked. The room went very still. She felt Lorne tense.

"How did you know?" He asked.