When Bucky arrives in the infirmary, the first person he sees is Thor and the second, Shuri. Thor is pacing while Shuri tries to keep him from storming into the operating room to check on his brother.

"He's not going to be helped by your intrusion, Thor. The doctors need to be able to focus on their work without question or the pressure from your worries. They will let us know when he's stable and their work is done."

"And what if he isn't? Will we get word before he dies so that I can be beside him? And what if there's something they can't understand because he isn't human?" Thor asks.

"They scanned him first. They can learn his anatomy easily."

Bucky sighs, "Thor...he just tried to die alone. I know it would mean a lot to you to be next to him if he goes, but...that's not what Loki was trying accomplish."

"Are you saying he should be alone when he dies?" Thor says, hurt in his voice.

Bucky shakes his head, "No. But I'm telling you that if it happens, I think he'd be fine just knowing you cared enough to want that. Anybody who tries to slit their own throat isn't looking for a lingering death with time to say goodbye."

Thor stares at him a moment as a realization hits him, "You found him, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Did you try to stop him?"

"Thor, he was already collapsed on the floor by the time I got to him. I did what I could from there."

Thor drops onto a bench and sighs, "What did I do wrong?"

Shuri settles in beside him, "It isn't about what we do right or wrong. It's about what he was feeling. He was hurting – we all knew it. He told each of us enough to understand this wasn't going to be an easy healing. I don't think he wasn't trying. And we have to remember that he didn't try to die because of anything to do with us. This was a choice made from suffering."

Bucky crouches in front of Thor, "We were all trying to reach him. And we each made a little progress, but this isn't something you just solve once. You go back and forth and have good days and bad days. Sometimes really bad days. And not everybody gets over the kind of shit he's been through. I'm saying this from experience as one of the former bad guys. Just...be patient with him. Don't blame yourself. And don't be mad at him, either. It's not going to help."

Thor nods, "I'm not mad...I just don't understand."

"Yeah, I know. And in a way...that's actually a good thing. He's told me a lot. And I think he'd be really glad you can't relate to what he's been through or why he's feeling like this," Bucky replies.

"But if I can't understand it, how do I help him recover?" Thor asks.

Shuri rests her hand on his shoulder, "You aren't the only person who can help. But as his brother, what he will need from you is to know you're still there for him. To know this hasn't put a wedge between you. He will need your help with the physical recovery, but also just knowing you won't leave, even when things threaten to be too much for him to bear, will make a difference."

"You're not alone," Bucky adds, "Some of us have been through that shit – different flavour, same crap. We're here for both of you. And when we have to go our separate ways, we'll leave phone numbers so you can call when you need us...well, so long as the US government lets me talk to anybody. If they don't, I'll make sure to get word to you as soon as I can."

"I don't know how to handle this, my friends. I'm so glad you're both here. But someone is going to have to tell Carol and Peter and the queen and...well, anyone else, and I don't think it can be me."

Shuri pats his arm, "I will. I've delivered hard news before. I can do it again. I'll even tell Sleipnir, even though I can't understand what he might say in return."

"If anyone says anything...unkind...can you...?" he asks.

Shuri smiles, "Thor, I will take care of it and they won't dare look me in the eye after. No one is going to make this harder."

"Thank you."

She stands, "I suppose I should go find them and do this before rumours start." She looks to Bucky, "Stay with him?"

"You've got it, Princess." She nods to him and briskly walks from the infirmary.

"She's told me I'm not allowed to call her 'princess,'" Thor says.

"I had to earn it," Bucky says, "She put me back together. I owe her my life. So when I address her like she outranks me, it's because in my book, she does."

Thor nods, "That makes sense. I've heard Loki call her that as well, though. What has he done to earn it?"

"You want me to tell you?"

Thor looks surprised, "You know?"

"I'm close to Shuri and Loki trusts me – yeah, they told me."

"Then yes, please do."

"They were both the little siblings of the future king," Bucky says, "One's been a king, the other about to be a queen, both first sat on the throne when they didn't expect it. He lets her call him 'prince,' too, though never around anybody but Peter. It's just a way they've decided they can relate to each other."

Thor nods, "That makes sense. I'm surprised he lets her call him 'prince,' though. He rejects it when I've tried."

"Well you're the king and you outrank him," Bucky counters. "Shuri knows she'll be queen of Wakanda before too long, but right now...she's still revelling in being the princess and just being the kid sibling. Loki's felt that kind of weight he wasn't ready for, too." He shrugs, "It's just a way they feel like they're alike. They were thrust into rule when they didn't feel ready."

"Him when I was banished to Midgard, her by the death of her brother," Thor says. "I suppose I never considered just what it felt like for him to be asked to take the throne. I always thought he was eager for it, but I suppose not."

"He told me it was never about a throne, Thor. He ever tell you that?"

Thor nods, "Yes, he did. But Loki thinks differently than I and I've struggled to truly understand his reasoning. Just as I struggle to understand what he's done this time."

Bucky sighs, "I'm not looking forward to my first conversation with him when he wakes up – he'll probably be pissed at me."

"You're assuming he'll be able to speak."

"Well he said a few things to me when I found him, so...yeah, I mean, he was whispering, but there were words, so I figure he'll be able to manage something," Bucky replies. "Maybe I shouldn't be the first one in the room."

"What did he say to you?" Thor asks.

"Just tried to protest – told me no, and when I said he wasn't dying today, he said, 'what if I want to?' and I just told him he was going to find a reason not to want to and that was final. Then the medics came in."

"I hope he wants to see me," Thor says, "Sometimes, when he feels as though he's disappointed his family, he simply shoves everyone away. Like when he let go, dropping off the side of the Bifrost..."

"He's said you mourned him before. He told me about the Bifrost, when you went to avenge your mom, and faking death for Thanos."

"Yes. I've thought him dead before and he's come back. Some of what he's said about Thanos makes me think he died many times in Thanos' world and was dragged back to life."

Bucky nods, "Yeah, same here. Whatever happened there was brutal. He's told me a little...but not a whole lot of details. Just enough to know he was tortured brutally and felt like his entire spirit was taken out of him and his hurt and anger amplified so he was easier to use." Bucky pauses, "So...can I ask something a little insensitive?" Thor nods. "Has he ever done this before?"

"Only when he fell from the Bifrost. I saw the look on his face when he let go – he met my eyes, but my father's single 'no' was enough to cut deep enough. He's been reckless and disregarded his own life on several occasions – sometimes even for noble reasons – but ending himself in this way? No."

Bucky nods, "Well...I guess all we can do is move forward. I'm not the best guy to figure out the whole caregiving thing anymore. Used to be. Used to watch over that skinny runt Rogers when he'd pick fights with guys twice his size. But..." he smirks, "Guess that changed...now he's the one trying to keep track of me."

They hear footsteps rushing down the hall and turn toward the door to see Peter skid, breathless, through the doorway, "Shuri told me about heard about Mr. Loki. Is he...?"

"He isn't dead, he's in surgery, remember?" Shuri says, approaching from another direction, "Bucky found him in time."

Peter walks over to Thor and Bucky and drops to the floor beside them, "I'm scared, Mr. Thor. Mr. Barnes. I don't want to lose him – he's my friend." He looks up at Thor, "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"No. Not that I know," Thor says.

"Best thing you can do is listen to him and let him know he means something to you," Bucky replies, "But he might not be happy to be alive. First couple of conversations might be rough."

"Or he won't say anything at all," Thor adds, "When Loki is feeling thing intensely, he has often simply shut down and refused to speak until he has just the right words ready. And then...well, then you will have a very unpleasant conversation."

"I guess we'll find out," Peter says.

"If he wakes up." Thor adds.

Shuri shakes her head as she settles in beside Peter, "No, Thor, not if. Peter is right. This is Wakanda. It is when. And then...well, then we do our best to let him lead."

"You know what I don't get?" Bucky asks, " I don't get why he'd do this when I know how much he loves Sleipnir and how happy he was to see him that first time since we got dusted. I can understand the wanting to. I can understand the hopelessness, the isolation, all of it. But...I don't see how he lost sight of that." He pulls the note from the pocket of his flannel shirt, "I mean, he says in here to keep Sleipnir in Wakanda because he seems so happy here..."

Thor reaches for the paper, "Is that...?"

Bucky nods and passes it to Thor, "Yeah. Found it on his dining table."

Thor's hands shake as he reads the page, "To whoever is the unlucky person to find me – I'm sorry for the mess. Please deliver this note to someone who cared immensely about me: Thor Odinson, James Barnes," he pauses and looks over to Bucky, "James?"

Bucky nods, "Yeah, he decided to start calling me that after he saw my full name on something – not sure what."

"No one calls you 'James.'"

"Nope, not even my mother," Bucky says, "Until Loki decided he was going to. I asked him why and he said it was a sign of respect to use someone's full name and since I had three names and other people always called me one of the other, he had to find his own way to do it."

Thor nods, "He honoured you greatly." He then continues with the note, "Peter Parker, and Shuri." He takes a deep breath, "Friends, this next part is addressed to you. James, Peter, and Shuri, thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you for the kindness, the patience, the laughter, and the tea. You have made my burden lighter simply by walking beside me. I don't expect you to understand why I've left you, but please know I treasured every moment we had. Please, tell Sleipnir I love him and that I've gone away and won't be coming back. You may not understand him, but he will understand you. I'd like him to stay in Wakanda and not go to New Asgard. Here, I know he will be the new queen's comfort when things are most difficult and he will remind her to play." Thor pauses as he reads the next few lines and then tears start trickling down his cheeks as presses the letter to his heart.

Shuri brings him a tissue, "Here. You need this."

Thor nods, "Thank you."

"Want to let me hold that while you take some breaths?" Bucky asks, holding out his hand, "You don't want to smudge the ink."

Thor gives him the letter while Thor blows his nose and wipes his eyes, taking slow breaths to try to calm himself.

"Did Mr. Loki write something upsetting?" Peter asks.

Thor shakes his head, "No. Read it."

Bucky passes him the letter and Shuri bends down to read over his shoulder, "And to Thor," Shuri reads, "I love you."

Peter leans back against her and she wraps her arms over his shoulders, "Oh. Yeah, I'd be crying, too," he says.

Bucky nods, "I read it when I was sitting at his table after the medics came. I didn't want to just walk in here and say, 'Hey, found your brother's suicide note. Want to hear it?' I was waiting for the right point in the conversation to say I had it."

"He never says why he did it," Peter says. "Don't they usually say that?"

"It all depends on the person, Peter," Shuri says, "And as to why? He might never tell us. And we have to be fine with that."

Peter looks over his shoulder at her, "I don't know how I can be."

She hugs him, "Together, Peter. We'll be alright together. And that's also how we'll help him find his feet again, too."